02x20 - Boys vs. Girls

[bunniefuu]

Yay! You guys see that
sporting event last night?

You know I did! My team
scored all the points!

Hey, hey! What about that
race car we saw yesterday, huh?

It was all like...

No, bro, it was like...

- Oh, man.
- Guys, hold up! Shh!

- Oh man, that one stunk!
- Speak too, Cyborg.

This is so annoying.

Ooh! They are giving me
the aches of the head.

We're being such boys
right now and I love it!

Boys! Boys! Boys! Boys!

B... B... B... Boys.

B...B...B... Boys.

Boys.

B...B...B... Boys.

B...B...B...
Boys, in your face!

Quiet!

- Uh, what's her problem?
- I'll tell you her problem.

She's a "her", you know, a girl.

That's right. She wishes
she could be a boy...

But she can't.

Why would we wish to be the boys?

Because of one simple fact.

Boys are better than girls!

How can one say one gender
is superior to the other?

Well, Starfire,
if you ever took the knowledge

train down town to
the corner of science and fact,

you'd know girls can
never compete with boys,

Because they're too busy lying around,

thinking about how they
look and being emotional.

Uh, lying around?
You're the ones who are lazy!

And you spend much more time on
your hair appearance than do we.

And if you're going to
bring up emotional...

Stop yelling at us!

Oh, my self-esteem.

Still think boys are better?

Of course they are!
In fact, I could go on and on

about all the reasons
girls are worse than boys,

but I'm going to sum it
up in just one word...

Cooties!

You're crawling with them!

We don't want your cooties!

As you can see from this
chart, created by a boy,

science tells us that there
is no evidence in girls

of sugar, spice or anything nice.

- What there is, is cooties!
- Oh, gross!

Gross indeed, Beast Boy.

- I rest my case.
- I have the cooties?

No, you don't.
Cooties aren't real.

If boys are so much
better, then prove it.

We challenge you to a
contest, boys vs. girls.

Very well.

Okay, 10 laps around the island.

I wish you the luck
that is good, Beast Boy.

You're going down, girl!
It's cheetah time!

On your mark, get set...

What took you so long?

First one to solve this
complex math equation wins.

You're going down!

...don't forget the factor...

Done!

Dig deep!

Be the future! Be the future!

- The pull!
- Come on, Star, we got this.

Well, girls win.

Dude, you lied to us!
Girls are better than boys!

Yeah, boys are terrible.
From now on, we're girls!

- Yeah!
- Whoa! But what about the cooties?

Don't worry, girls,
he lied about that too.

You look cootie free to me.

So, girls, you see
that sporting event...

Uh, I mean, um, did you
guys... Argh... What...

What exactly do you two do anyway?

Yeah, come to think of
it, what do you girls do?

Well, you know, I read
from my spell book...

While fighting an evil demon!

You get 'em, girl!

- Oh, man! Epic!
- Get 'em, that's my girl!

What about you, Star?

Well, I make glordnorb pudding,

with the saliva of a giant klatar!

- Oh-ho-ho!
- I love giant klatars!

- Whoo!
- That's how we roll.

Cootie free!
We'll see about that.

All right, you dirty
cooties, do your thing!

Hey! I'm trying to sleep!

Sorry.

I can still hear you.

- Still?
- Yes.

- Ugh, a boy!
- Ew! He smells.

So, you boys enjoying being girls?

- It's the best!
- Girls rule!

Girls! Girls! Girls! Girls!

Are you done?

G...G...G...G... Girls!

Girls! Girls!

G...G...G...G... Girls!
G...G...G...G... Girls!

- Something wrong?
- I do not feel alone in my clothes.

Yeah, my skin is crawling.

Ooh, tsk-tsk-tsk. Hmm, you
know what that sounds like.

Cooties?

They're real! They're real!

We do not have the cooties!

- Oh!
- It's true, girls have cooties!

We want to be boys again!

- You did this to us!
- Yes! And I can undo it, with this!

It's a cootie catcher.

Oh, please, give us the
catcher of the cooties!

I'll be happy to,

if you admit that boys
are better than girls.

- Never!
- Then you're stuck with cooties!

You know, all we have to do is touch
you and you'll have cooties too!

Ahhh, cooties!

But, Starfire touching me...
Ahhh, cooties!

or the start of a
beautiful relationship.

Ahhh, cooties! Run!

- Think we lost them?
- Impossible!

We have more of the endurance.

Psst...

Follow me, I know a place
they'll never find us.

Shh! We'll be safe in here.

Ugh, safe, you know,
'cause we're in one.

We're smarter too!

And we are the stronger.

Now everyone is having the cootie.

So, you've got no choice but
to use the cootie catcher.

You win. Again!

And now the cooties are caught.

I am alone in
my clothes once more.

Let's face it guys, the
girls are better than us.

They're stronger, faster, smarter.

They're our superiors in every way.

We shouldn't let a day go
by without thanking them

for even noticing that we're alive.

On behalf of all boys, I want
to apologize for our actions.

- Thank you, Robin.
- It's cool.

But you know what, Robin?

Only a boy can make
such an amazing speech!

Boys rule!

B...B...B... Boys!

Please stop!