02x20 - Cape Fear

[bunniefuu]

- You've gotta be kidding me.
My life is ruined.

- Aw, man, I wanted to do that.

- My friend Christine
from Metroburg

got her superhero cape
and had a cape ceremony.

Look.

How am I getting my cape
after Christine?

Her superpower is
super-hearing. That is so lame.

- [text tone dings]

- Whoops, she heard that.

- All right, you two,
go do your homework,

so you can enjoy the weekend.

- NORA: Cool!
- BILLY: Nice cape!

- Or do that.

- Aw, Christine looks so cute
in her superhero cape.

- [text tone ringing]

- She says "Thanks!"

- Oh, her parents
must be so proud.

Not that we aren't proud of
what you've been doing,

hashtagging, shopping,
yolo'ing.

Oh, ho, you've
been crushin' it.

- All right, I suppose if I had
chosen to focus more

on superhero training, then I'd
be getting my cape by now, too.

- Do what I do--tie a blanket
around your neck and say...

We-e-e-e-e!

- We-e-e-e-e is also
the size of his brain.

- These are special
capes, Billy.

The Hero League awards
them to you.

- Yeah, it's part of becoming
a full superhero.

You also get access
to weapons and then later

you get your hero name
and a supervillain to b*at up.

[inhales through teeth]
I hope I get Max.

- You can't handle
all this evil.

[slurping]

[sputtering]

- Maybe it's not too late.

The Hero League still has one
more cape to award this year.

Not that I've been looking
into it on a daily basis.

- Getting my cape
would be awesome.

Before we moved here,
it's all I ever dreamed about.

That, and ice skating
with Channing Tatum.

- I want a superhero cape.

- Me, too.

One without dad's
nacho stains.

- It's never too early to start.

You've just gotta earn it
through lots of training

and showing admirable
superhero behavior.

- Oh, like catching
someone when they fall.

Billy, fall backwards.
- Okay.

- [heavy thud]

- Phoebe, where were you?

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- Guess who just used her freeze breath

to save Hiddenville's woodland
creatures from a brush fire.

I'm gonna get my cape,
too, Christine.

- [text tone ringing]

- Christine says,
"You don't have to yell."

If you wanna do a good deed,
help me find dad's wallet.

I need twenty bucks
for the party.

- What party?
The party? That's tonight?

I told all my
friends I was gonna go.

- How could you forget
about the first-ever

secret rooftop party
in school history?

It's illegal and unsafe
and I can't wait!

- I can't go now.

If mom and dad found out
I went to that party,

they would never let me
accept the superhero cape.

- Jackpot.

- Although, there's nothing
like dancing on a roof

after putting out
a brush fire.

- Thank you, Bank of Hank.

- Yeah, just give me five
minutes to change and--

Okay, I'll meet ya there!

- Hey, Phoebs.
- [gasping]

- You were out
savin' the world, I see.

- You'll be happy to hear

all your good deeds
have been reported.

Won't be long before
President Kickbutt calls.

- Great.
- Where are you going now?

- Oh, I'm off to rescue
beached old people

and help whales
cross the street.

- Somebody's got
cape on the brain.

- Well, she's not
the only one.

Let's go check on our
junior superheroes.

- Have you seen my wallet?

- ♪

- Billy, Nora,
what's all this?

- We're getting ready
to sleep in the wild.

- Yeah, you said surviving
a night by ourselves

is the first step in getting
our superhero capes.

- BOTH: Roughing it!
- [glasses clinking]

- Kids, it's supposed
to be a challenge.

- Do you know how hard it was

getting that
mini-fridge out here?

- Look, your mother is right.
Uh, this is about surviving.

Not to brag, but I set
the record by surviving

three nights in the wild
when I was your age.

Well, actually, I was
two years younger.

- That's enough bragging part.

- I'm just saying it's about
depending on your own skills,

not the comforts of home.
- [loud buzzing]

- Sorry, Dad, I can't hear
you over the foot spa.

- [turns off spa]

He said you can't have
all this stuff.

- Then what can we have?

- I can't do this!

- Yes, you can.

All we need is
a place to sleep.

[powers zapping]

- [branches thudding]

- Okay, Billy, build
us a fort.

- BILLY: [zooming]

Whoa, I did it.

I am Billy,
Lord of the Outdoors!

- [owl hooting]

- BOTH: [screaming]

- [loud dance music playing]

- I'm really excited about you
getting this cape, Phoebe.

- What?
Oh, let me guess.

Your "excitement"
is because you want access

to the superhero weapons.

- Absolutely.
Here's a list.

- All right, fine, I'll put this
in a safe place for you.

[breathing fire]

- [loud music continues]

- [metal clanking]

- Whoa. Uh...

- That looks bad.

- I know. Those chips are gonna
be all crumbs when he falls.

- Whoaaa!

- [ladder creaking]

[ladder thudding heavily]

- Whew.

Oh, you don't think anyone
saw me, do you, Max?

- [chomping chip]
- Max?

- Oh, baked chips?

You shoulda let him fall.

Come on. I know
another way up.

- ♪

- PHOEBE: Max, are you
down there?

- COLOSSO: Tell her "No."

- We've got a mess on our hands.

Somebody recorded
everything last night.

- Including me bringing
back The Cabbage Patch?

- Not that mess.
This mess.

- [reading] "Miracle Wind
Saves Rooftop Partier."

- BOY ON LADDER: Whoaaa!

- The video's gone viral.

If mom and dad see it, they'll
know it was telekinesis

and realize I snuck
out to the party

and it's bye-bye cape.

- Mom and dad are
like years old.

They don't watch viral videos.

- I just saw a viral video
on the morning news.

I'm getting your father
and the four of us...

we're gonna have a talk.

- You forgot about
the morning news.

It's the internet
for old people.

- It's morning.

We're alive.

We did it, Nora.

- We did! We survived
the whole night!

- Well, good morning, you two.

Hey, nice shelter.

Of course, mine was rain-proof,
but what do I know?

I only hold the record.

Anyway, to celebrate your
accomplishment,

I thought you might want
to see my trophy.

Whoa, "see" my trophy.

Only record holders
get to touch it.

[blowing air]

- You know, Nora, staying
outside wasn't so bad--

once we got past the sobbing
and figured out where to pee.

- You're right. Wanna break
dad's record of three nights?

- Totally.
- What's that?

- Hank, we have a problem.

- I know. Billy and Nora
want my trophy.

- Because it was made
for children.

Come on.

- The trophy-less
are a bitter people.

- BOY ON LADDER: Whoaaa!
- [ladder creaking]

- Is that what I think it is?

- Yep, miracle wind.
Give it up for Mother Nature.

- PHOEBE & MAX: [applauding]

- That wasn't wind.

Monitor, play the infrared.

- Whoaaa!

- [powers vibrating]

- [ladder creaking]
[ladder thudding heavily]

- Telekinetic waves?

Somebody better start talking.

- All right, fine,
here's the deal.

Even though I did all those
great things yesterday,

you should also know that--

- I saved that kid.
- Max saved that kid.

Wait? What?

- Sorry, it was me.

I was the hero
who saved that idiot.

- So, let me get this straight.

Max Thunderman saw someone
in danger and saved them?

- Seems to be what
we're going with.

- On purpose?

- All right, I get it.

You guys don't think I can do
something heroic, but I did.

- Barb, do you know
what this means?

- [fanfare music]
- HANK: [laughing]

- BARB: [screaming]

- HANK & BARB:
The phase is over!

- BARB: [cheering]

- We always knew you
had it in ya, pal.

[kissing]
- Ugh.

- Let's call the Hero
League and tell them

we have two teen heroes
in the family!

- What are you up to?

- I wanna make sure
you get your cape.

And in return,
you'll give me access

to the Hero League weapons.

- I already told you
that's not gonna happen.

- Oh, then, I'll just
tell mom and dad

that you snuck out
to the party.

Bye-bye cape.

- Oh! Fine!

You can play with
one w*apon for one hour.

- Oh, goody! Goody!

- The Hero League
is so excited, Max.

- At first, they didn't believe
it and hung up on us.

But then we called back
and convinced them.

- COMPUTER VOICE:
Alert! Alert!

Incoming transmission from
Super President Kickbutt.

- Super President Kickbutt!

Phoebe, this is it!
I told you she'd call.

Be cool.

- Hello, Thundermans.

- HANK: Hi!
[giggling]

- Phoebe, we're all
very impressed with

your recent run
of superhero deeds.

Truly exemplary.

- Phoebe, you're gonna
get your cape.

- And, now, it is with great
pleasure that I announce

the last superhero cape of
the year is going to...

- Here it comes.

- ...Max Thunderman!

- ALL: Huh?

- Did someone say my name?

- Wait. So I'm getting
the last cape of the year?

I am so armed--
I mean, honored.

- There's gotta be
some mistake.

Here, check the name again.
It's Phoebe. P-h-o...

- There's no mistake.

Max's unexpected act of heroism

catapulted him to
to the top of the list.

- ...e-b-e.

As in Phoebe should
get that cape.

- I'll see you all at
Max's cape ceremony.

Super President Kickbutt out!

- Phoebe, I know
it's hard, but...

try to be happy for Max.

- But you guys do realize that
for Max to save that kid,

he went to a party...

at our school...

on a roof.

- Ah, that's just Max.

- Well, the old Max.

- Good riddance to that guy.

- Now if you'd have
gone to that party,

you'd be in big trouble,
but you didn't...

'cause you're a good girl.

- Now I can say it, Barb.

All our kids are good!

- Come on, we've got
a cape ceremony to plan!

- HANK: Oh!

- What?
I did you a favor.

Now you don't have to lend me
those weapons anymore--

'cause I can get 'em myself.

You're welcome.

- Billy!

You ate all the granola.

How are we supposed
to survive without food?

- That was food?

- Oh, hey, guys.

Are you still out here?

I totally forgot.

Since I'm here, would you like
this giant cookie I baked?

- Yes!

- Billy, stop!

He's trying to trick us
into going into the house.

He doesn't want us
to break his record.

- Did I forget to mention
I baked little cookies

inside the big cookie?

- There's inside cookies?

- We're not playing your
hunger games, old man.

- Fine! But you'll
never get my trophy.

Or this!
- [shoe thudding cookie]

- Oh, if I can prove
Max is still evil,

he'll never get
that cape--and I will.

- You won't find anything.
Max covered his tracks.

He's become the face
for reformed teen villains.

- Oh, yeah? Well,
if he's so reformed,

then why is his Dark Mayhem
poster right under this one?

- Here comes Captain
Happy Pants now.

- Hey! Hey! Phoebs!

- Stuff it, Max.

- Easy. We don't use
that kind of language

down here in the Hero Lounge.

- Max, you've gotta stop this.

Sometimes when a supervillain
pretends to be good,

he becomes good without
even knowing it.

It happened to
the Big Belly Bandit.

- Who?

- You know him by
his new name--Santa Claus.

- Colosso, relax.

I told you already
I'm just acting like this

until I get those weapons.

Now you guys hang in there.

If I can do it, so can you.

- It's too much!
You're just reading posters!

- MAX: Teamwork!

- He's taking this too far.

- Mmmm, I don't know.

With my help, he can go
a little further.

- What does that mean?

Get back here!

Max always shares
his plans with me!

- ♪

- Such a help, Mr. Hero Man.

- When I see a damsel
in distress,

I come a-runnin'.
- Oh...

- Helping mom, huh?
Maybe Colosso was right.

When you pretend to be good,
you actually become good.

- Please. My heart
is as black as ever.

- [coaster zooming]

- Really? If you're
still so evil,

then why are you
using a coaster?

- I've never used
a coaster in my life.

How'd that get there?

- COMPUTER VOICE:
Alert! Alert!

Cable technicians approaching.

- Oh, ho, ho!
I know who this is!

- [scanner humming]

- Perimeter's secure.

- [velcro ripping]

- Super President Kickbutt,
always a pleasure.

- It's a tremendous day
for the Thunderman family.

Simone, I asked you to
wear your super suit.

- You're not the president
of my closet.

- Sorry about my daughter.

She has a bit of
a dark side.

I'm hoping Max can inspire her.

- Oh, well, he inspires
us every day.

Well, since yesterday.

- You're probably wondering
where Billy and Nora are.

- Who?

- You're right.

I'll let them know you insisted
I bring them inside.

- Hey, hey, hey, Super Prez.
I love your hair.

- Max is still getting the cape.
- Okay. Good talk.

- Billy! Nora!

Super President Kickbutt is here
and has ordered you two inside.

- Super President Kickbutt
is here?

Yeah, right.

- She's here because Max
is getting his superhero cape.

- BOTH: [laughing]

- You're pathetic.

We'll come inside after we erase
you from the history books.

- Dr. Colosso.
- Evelyn.

- PHOEBE: [powers zapping]
- SIMONE: Whoa!

- ALL: [applauding]
- Name's Simone.

And, no, I don't have
a boyfriend.

[laughing]

- Good catch.

Your hero instincts kicked
in pretty fast just then.

- Those weren't hero instincts.

Those were my evil guy

pretending-to-be-a-hero
instincts.

I'm in character.

- Or is the character in you?

- Okay, there's no way
I'll ever be good.

See mom's ham she's been
slow-roasting for two days?

- [powers zapping]
- [ham thudding]

- Now would a real
hero do that?

- Holy flying pig, yes!

- MAX: What the heck?

- Thanks, Max!
You're a hero!

- Look at that.

Even when you try being
bad, it turns out good.

- No, no, that's
not what I--

Can't we just--

Get outta my head!

- We gather here today
to bestow upon Max Thunderman

his superhero cape!

- Not gonna happen,
President Stinkbutt!

- [laughing]
That's what I used to call her.

- Max, what are you doing?

- I am not a superhero.

- Aw, he's got cape fear.

Don't worry, honey,
it happens to all of us.

Come on, put your
cape on for mommy.

- No!

I am evil and always
have been.

And President Kickbutt here

is gonna take me
to get some weapons!

- PRESIDENT KICKBUTT:
[gasping]

You realize you're making
a horrible mistake, right?

- Zip it, Evelyn.

- SIMONE: Kick butt!

- MAX: Ah!
[zooming]

- [plaster thudding]

- Yeah! That felt awesome!

- Our bellies are full.

Nothing can stop us now from
breaking dad's record.

- MAX: Ahhhhhh!

- [heavy thud]

- BOTH: [screaming]

- Super President Kickbutt,
my sincere apologies.

My son's behavior was
unacceptable.

If anything, the Thundermans

are pillars of dignity
and respect.

- NORA & BILLY: [screaming]

- Ha, ha, you two came
in ten seconds too soon!

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ma record still stands!

Too bad! So sad!

- NORA: [powers zapping]

- HANK: [screaming]

Oh...oh...oh...

- Too bad!
- So sad!

- This place is a mad house.

- I could not agree more.
So, about my cape ceremony.

Should we reschedule or just
roll on into it right now?

- I'm giving the cape to
the person who just saved me.

- Wait, Simone?
- Mm-hm. S-i-m--

- I know how it's spelled!
- SIMONE: [laughing]

- Super President Kickbutt out!
[snapping fingers]

- PHOEBE: [groaning]

- [whining]
Oh, mommy, I need a hug.

- Don't "Mommy" me.

You just embarrassed
our entire family.

- Me? What about Phoebe?

She's the one who saved that
dumb kid from falling.

She's the real embarrassment.
- Wait.

- What was that?

- Uh...

Clearly, he is delirious
from the butt trauma.

Okay, fine.

I'm the one who saved
the kid at that party.

- Phoebe, why?

- Because he was falling?

- No, I mean, why'd you let Max
take credit for your save?

- Well, I didn't want
you guys to know

I snuck out to the party.

Look, I'm really sorry I lied.
It's just that...

I really want my superhero cape,

but I also wanna be out
there dancin' on rooftops.

- You've been on more
than one rooftop?

- I got this.

It's okay, sweetie.

I mean, part of being
a superhero

is juggling your hero life
with your regular life.

You'll get your cape.

It just may take longer.

- Thanks, Mom.

So, does that mean if there's
another rooftop party,

I can go?
- Oh, sure.

Oh, as a matter of fact,

there's one happenin'
right now on our roof.

You can patch that
Max-shaped hole

while Max sits here
and watches.

- What? Sits and watches?

How is that a punishment?

- Max, sit.

- [screaming]
Oh, my butt!

- ♪