02x23 - The Girl with the Dragon Snafu

[bunniefuu]

- The gong has a variety
of uses in China.

Allow me to demonstrate
the most obvious one--

to wake someone up.

- [loud clang]
- I'm up! I'm up! I'm up!

- Even with all that crusty
drool all over his face,

he's still adorable.

- Sarah, as your friend,
I have to tell you

that gong would treat you better
than my brother would.

- This week's assignment
is to break into groups

and do a presentation
on Chinese culture.

- Yes! I love working in groups.

- Only because it's
less work for you.

- Yeah, more like no work.

Now to find a group of
nerds to call my own.

- All right, I know you're
not talking about my group,

because we are not nerds.

- Come on, Phoebe, all aboard
the "A"-plus train!

- ALL: Choo-choo!

- You're right,
you're not nerds,

you're clearly dweebs.

- Yeah, call us
whatever you want,

there is no other group
I'd rather be in.

- Be in our group, Phoebe.

- Except that one!

- Ha...

- Two groups. One girl.

What will Phoebe do?

- Get out of my face, Max.

- Will she go with Winnie,
the popular girl

she's been trying to be
friends with for a year?

Or will she stay with
Sarah and board

the boring train to Dweebville?

- Well, I mean,
Sarah is my friend.

- Winnie could be
your friend, too,

and not make you dress
up like you're going to

a third-grader's birthday party.

- Oh, we should
send a picture of us

to the yearbook
for the selfie page.

Say "China!"

- ALL: China!
- [cell phone camera clicking]

- I can't believe
Phoebe ditched us.

Now who are we gonna get?

- Hey, Sarah, can I join your--
- MAX: [powers zapping]

- Ooh!

- What's up, group?

Heard your train
needs a caboose.

Choo-choo!

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- Hey, Sarah, look, I'm so sorry
I'm not with you guys.

It's just that Winnie's
group really needs me.

And you get it, don't you?

- Sure, I get it--you're hoppin'
off the "A"-plus train.

- BOTH: [laughing]

- Good luck on the "D"-plus bus.

- Guys, I am really excited
about this group.

You feelin' the love, Tyler?

- You stole my bike last week.

- Hey, I did you a favor.

That thing fell apart
the moment I busted it.

- Sarah, I don't think Max
is gonna do much.

- Why would you say that?
- Because he's leaving.

- Max! Get back here!

- [groaning loudly]

[sighing loudly]

- Look, you'll always be my bae.

But you need to take this
project as seriously

as I take our forbidden love.

- Believe me, I want
the "A," too.

That's the only reason
I joined this group.

- Great! So, what's your
idea for the project?

- Uh, I don't know.
What's yours?

- Build a Chinese dragon.
- Me, too, bae!

- So, I was thinking
after school

we could work on
our project at the library.

- Oooh, is that
the new club downtown?

- No, it's the place
we go to learn things.

- Phoebe's right.
We'll meet at the mall.

- That's not what I said.
- Yay, the mall.

- All right, let's check
our "to-do" list.

First thing--
write a "to-do" list.

- BOTH: Did it!
- [palms slap]

- All right, then I'll
fix the dishwasher.

- I can pick up dry cleaning.

- I'll mow the lawn.
The only other thing is--

- [floorboards cracking]
- BOTH: Fix the floorboards.

- Oh, Billy! Are you okay?

- The house ate my legs!

- You just fell in the floor
that dad was supposed to fix.

- Sorry, buddy,
I've just been busy.

- I don't think you've
been that busy.

That chandelier's been sitting
in its box so long

that it's turned into
an end table!

- Okay, I'll just put
it on the "to-do" list--

right after "ground Nora
for being sassy."

- Yeah, you kids have no idea
how hard we work around here.

- Is that why we had a salt
and pepper sandwich

for dinner last night?

- We didn't have time
to go shopping.

- Oh, is that a new necklace?

- I meant food shopping.

- Cut her some slack.

Your clothes are clean
and the house is spotless.

- BARB: Mm-hm.
- Is it, Dad? Is it?

- [objects clattering]

- [suitcase thudding]

- So, you two think it's
so easy to cook, clean,

repair things and do
everything else

while you two just enjoy
your little lives?

- Kind of.
- I think so.

- Okay, so you can take
care of the house

and try to do better while
we enjoy our little lives.

- Fine, but if we do better
running this house,

then we get to be in charge
around here from now on.

- We'll tell you what to eat,
when to go to bed,

and ground you for
being sassy.

- Deal--and when you fail,
you two will finally appreciate

what your father
and I do around here.

- Including making
really great lists.

- Uh, is pull your son
out of the sinkhole

on that "great" list?

- No, but I will add it.

- We are nailing
this dragon, guys.

- You know, Max, we've been
doing this for a couple of days

and I'm not sure I've seen
you leave that chair.

- [laughing]
Oh, Ernie...

- It's Evan.
- Let's agree to disagree.

- Max, Evan's right.
You need to do your part.

But it's getting hot,

so if you want to put on
a t*nk top, that's fine.

- Wow, guys, your dragon
looks awesome.

I'm impressed.
- You're impressed?

What? You didn't think

we could do something
so cool without you?

- No, no, I'm just surprised
Max hasn't dragged you down.

His nickname around our house
is "dead weight."

- Don't listen to her, Sarah.

She's jealous 'cause our group
works so well together.

Ernie, refill!

- So, how's your group
coming along?

- It's going great.

I mean, all those girls wanna
do is work, work, work.

- You forgot all the clothes
you bought at the mall.

- Thanks, Winnie.
[laughing]

These are for research.

Haven't you ever heard of
the Great Mall of China?

- No.

- Well, don't you feel silly.

- Uh-oh, my cheeks are tingling.

That means it's gonna rain--
or this glue contains shellfish!

- I should have never said "Hi"
to you in the fourth grade.

- Max, we have to leave, so
after the paper mache dries,

can you put it in the garage?
- On it.

- Maybe we should come back
and put it away ourselves.

- Tyler, Max said he'll do it.

Would someone with dimples you
could swim in let us down?

- Guys, relax. I'm not an idiot.

I'll bring our dragon
inside before it rains.

- [thunder crashing,
wind gusting]

- I should wake Max up

and tell him that paper
dragon's out there.

- [thunder crashing]

- [sighing]
Wow, it's really rainin'.

Wait, did I forget something?

- Nope. Go back to bed.

- MAX: [sniffling]

- I'm a bad, bad bunny.

[quietly laughing]

- [thunder crashing]
- Mm-hm.

- [yawning]

- [footsteps pounding]

- Hank, what are you doing?

- The kids fixed
the floorboards.

It's perfect.
I can't believe it.

- This must have taken
them all night.

Do I smell bacon?
- HANK: [sniffing]

Apple hickory
with a hint of maple.

Ten pieces.
[sniffing]

No, nine. Someone's eating it!

- Wow, kids, breakfast, too?

When did you find time
to do all this?

- Got up early
and just did it.

- We work best in
the morning, you know,

when you two are sleeping in.

- Well, this is all very nice.

Too bad I was in the mood
for pancakes.

- BILLY: [zooming]

- Please, it's gonna take a lot
more than a fixed floor

and a hot breakfast to impress
us, am I right, Hank?

- The syrup is warm.

Warm!

- Look, girls, Phoebe's
rocking her new shoes.

Love them!

- You know what else
you're gonna love?

The project topics
I came up with last night.

All stuff we can put
together by tomorrow.

- Oh, Phoebe, we'll be fine.
We'll wing it.

As long as we look good,
we'll get a "C".

- A "C"?
You guys want a "C"?

- Oh, my gosh, daddy would
be so happy if I got a "C".

- Hey, listen, how about we'll
meet at my house after school.

We'll work really hard
and nail this thing.

Imagine how happy daddy would
be, if you got an "A".

- sh**t, I can't tonight.
I have plans.

- Yeah, me, too.

I've gotta babysit
my little brother.

- But you're an only child.

- Busted!

Sorry, I just really
don't wanna do it.

- Listen, I can't do
this by myself.

You guys are gonna have to put
in some of the work or,

and I'm sorry
to have to say this,

I can't be part of the group.

- Okay.

- Great. Let's get to work.

- No, I mean, okay, you're
not part of the group.

- [sighing]
Hey, Sarah, uh, crazy morning.

It turns out my group
kinda doesn't like to focus,

so we parted ways.

- But if you don't have
a group, you'll fail.

- Which is why I wanna get back
on the old "A"-plus train.

Choo-choo!

- Sorry, that train's full.

Maybe you can catch the next one
to the Great Mall of China.

- [laughing] But there
is no Great Mall of--

oh, I see what you did there.

- Hi, uh, just a quick heads up.

I ran into a little snafu with
that whole group project thing,

so I think I'm just gonna
solo, you know, Team Phoebe!

Party of one!

Party of fun!

- I'm sorry, but being in a
group is part of the assignment.

You have to be able to work
with people or you fail.

- But all the groups are full.

- SARAH: You did what?

- Holy hog wart,
our dragon is ruined!

- How could you forget to
put it inside of the garage?

- Well, I was going to, but...

I was so tired from carrying
around these muscles all day--

I fell asleep.

- Oh, getting the proper amount
of sleep is so-o-o-o important.

- Don't look at his muscles!

- He's right. Let them look
at you. [clicking tongue]

- Okay, Sarah, I am
taking your glasses.

- Tyler! Now I can't
see anything.

Except the truth!

Max, you're out of the group!

You can still date me,

but we are never working
together again!

- [loud thud]

- Phoebe, I think you have
the answer to your problem.

Max, come over here.

- Oh, great idea.

Give me Max's spot
in Sarah's group.

- You're in a group
with Phoebe.

Party of two!
Party of wahoo! Hoo! Hoo!

- Try to get us at
least a "B", sis.

I've gotta keep up
the old GPA. [laughing]

- Honey, have you
seen my raincoat?

- Uh, check the hall closet.

- I was afraid you'd say that.

[gasping]

Uh, Barb?

- What is it?

When? How?

What is happening?

- You always wanted
a new bathroom,

so me and Billy put in some
elbow grease and voilà!

Toilet's self-flushing.
- [toilet flushing]

- Enjoy!

- This isn't fair.

They're running the house
better than we can.

They even hung the chandelier
you never got to.

- Yeah, I wasn't
gonna hang that.

- We cannot let
them win this bet.

Can you imagine what
our lives will be like

with them in charge.

- [toy car horn honking]

- How do you guys
like your new clothes?

- We hate them.

We can't leave the house
dressed like this.

- You're not going anywhere
until you finish your dinner.

- But we've had candy
every night this week.

I've lost six teeth!

- [gasping]
We can't let that happen.

How will I chew steak?

- We have to make sure
this house falls apart

under their watch.

- Way ahead of you.

- [door handle clanking]

- Aw, look what broke.

- It's getting late, partner.

Shouldn't you be knee-deep

in some sort of
glitter 'n glue extravaganza?

- I'm not gonna do
our project by myself.

- Really? Because we both
know I'm not helping,

so why don't you uncork
that overachieving,

annoying beast that lurks inside
ya and get crackin'.

- No, I'm gonna sit here
and do nothing until you help.

- Are you? This is
gonna be good.

[rapping table]

I'm gonna have a snack
'n watch you cr*ck.

[chomping apple]

- ♪

- Oh! Fine! You win!

- Finally!

I'm sick of eating apples.

- Do you wanna know
why I'm making

Chinese food for our project?

- Because my plan worked?

- Because that's what
superheroes do.

When they have a team, they pull
through for their team.

Not that you would know
anything about that.

- Really, superhero?

If you hadn't been so anxious
to hang with Winnie,

you'd still be in Sarah's group
and their dragon would be fine.

- But you ruined their dragon.

- I was only in Sarah's group
because you ditched them.

- Typical Max.
"Wasn't my fault."

- My motto since .

- This act of yours
is getting really old.

You're not lazy, looking
for an easy "A", you're afraid.

Isn't that why you became
a supervillain, 'cause you

were afraid you couldn't be
a better superhero than me?

Did you ever try?

- I'm not even dignifying
that with a response--

because I am lazy and because
you're holding a big Kn*fe.

- Everything you do you are.

It's because you're
afraid of failure.

You think it's easier
not to try

than to try and end
up failing.

That should be your motto.

[sighing]

[powers zapping]

- [water gurgling]

- Ah!

- Maybe you should focus more
on your food and less on me.

- They're supposed
to do that.

- They think they're so great

because they can hang
a chandelier.

Well, they're gonna
chandelier their pants

when this comes crashing down.

- [electrical zapping]

- [laughing] Okay!

I just scorched the flower
garden they planted.

Let's see them grow
that back overnight.

- Whoa, good job, honey!

- What are you doing?

- I just took this bolt
out of the chandelier.

When the kids go
to clean it, boom!

Brilliant, huh?

- No, crazy!

I just scorched a few tulips.

You're gonna maim our children.

- It's a learning
opportunity, Barb.

- Hank...

- Good morning.

Final day of our bet.

- What's with the ladder?

- [sighing] All right.
I'll be honest with you.

Your mom rigged the chandelier

to make it fall
so you'd look bad.

- Wow, you are so grounded
when we win this bet.

- You guys did win the bet.

You've been running this house
better than we have

and making it look easy.

- Seriously, you made
maple bacon.

And I almost dropped a light
fixture on your head.

I shouldn't be
the boss of anything.

- Congratulations.

- Hear that, Billy?
We're in charge now.

Hank, Barb, clear out
the master bedroom.

We're starting
a guinea pig farm.

- Mom, Dad, wait.

- Billy, what are you doing?

- Sorry, Nora,
but we don't deserve

to be guinea pig farmers.

The truth is we tried
to do the housework,

but you were right--
it was too hard.

So we called some
of your old friends

from Metroburg to help us.

- Billy, no.
- Come on out, guys.

- Maid of Honor?

Handy Man.

Oh, the Green Thumb!

- Uh, stranger danger.

- You guys were doing
all the work?

- Yep.

- Well, at least now we know

it takes three superheroes
to take care of the house.

- Four!

- Iron Skillet made
the trip, too?

- Up! Up! And filet!

- I miss you guys so much.

You the most.

- Way to go, Billy.

- I'm sorry, but what
we did was wrong.

I'm just glad
no one got hurt.

- [chandelier creaking,
crashing]

- HANDY MAN: Oh!

- I'm just glad
we didn't get hurt.

- ♪

- BILLY: [zooming]

- Billy, you found one!
Oh, thank you so much.

- Sorry I'm late.

I got lost inside
the Great Mall of China.

- It's real?

- You're the one doing
the project on China.

You should know these things.
[zooming]

- This is the saddest
dragon ever.

- I wish we had a better one.

Oh, right, we did.

- Oh, great, you and Max
stole our idea.

Thanks a lot.

- This is for you guys.

- Like I said--thanks a lot.
[laughing]

- Look, I should have been
in your group from the start.

I messed up and let
you guys down.

I'm sorry.

- It's okay.
Thanks for saying something.

To be honest, I miss you.
- PHOEBE: [laughing]

- I wanna be the head!
- No, I want to!

- I miss you so so much.
- PHOEBE: [laughing]

- Sabrina's top
is made in China,

as was Emma's shoes and my hair
tie and my purse and my phone.

- Okay, that's enough.

You girls get a "C".

- Yes, a "C"!

Daddy is getting me a new car!

- PHOEBE: [sighing]

- Maybe next time try
to go the extra mile--

like Sarah's group
and their dragon.

- ALL: Choo-choo!

- Next up, Phoebe and Max.

- Um, actually,
Max isn't here yet.

- Well, as they say in China...

tough noogies.

- Um, okay, so Max and I wanted
to celebrate China

by making egg rolls.
- [egg rolls thudding]

- Uh, sorry, guys, they're...
they're still good.

Uh, in China,
the five second rule

is a ten second rule
due to the time difference.

We're getting
an "F" aren't we?

- [fireworks exploding]

- Oh, my gosh, fireworks!

- [fireworks continue]

- Behold!

One of China's oldest
traditions.

Fireworks are used
in celebration,

but were originally
used to scare off spirits

and sisters who think they're
better than their brothers.

- Max, you set off fireworks
on school grounds?

- Phoebe and I did.
As a group.

- Actually, Mrs. Austin--

- I love it!
- That is exactly what we did.

Max and I are in the same group
and this is our project.

♪ Ta-da! ♪

- Well, what do the Chinese
characters say?

- Uh...
- Don't be modest, Phoebe.

It was Phoebe's idea to have
the fireworks spell out--

"it's better to try and fail
than not try at all."

- Yes! Yes!
The Thundermans get an "A"!

- ALL: [applauding]

- Nice job.
- Thanks.

I was up all night
twisting fuses

and packing bootleg gunpowder.

- Well, it was worth it.
Thank you.

Now you can tell me what those
characters really spell out.

- Oh, "Phoebe smells
like a wet donkey."

- Clever.

Egg roll?

- Sure!

- ♪