03x12 - Date Expectations

[bunniefuu]

- I hope you're all ready
for tonight's Model U. N.

You'll get a window
into world politics.

You'll be graded on
how well you represent

your assigned country.

- [bag thuds]

- GIDEON: Hey!
- Hey, what?

- [silently]
Shhh.

- Hey...girl.

- We've talked about
this, Gideon.

So, the whole point
of Model U. N.

is to achieve world peace.

- You'll get no
peace from Greenland!

Thanks to world pollution,
our ice is melting

and our polar bears
"no-bear" to go.

And I'll keep dropping bad puns
until the madness stops.

- [loud thud]
- What was that?

- Oh, Mrs. Austin,
look what I can do!

Wah! Wah! Guh! Guh!
Guh! Guh! Guh!

- Do you need to go
to the nurse's office?

- Guh! Guh! Guh!

- That was close.

- [bell ringing]
- That was so not worth it!

- Nice flip, Phoebe.

You from a circus family?

- Mrs. Austin, I'm sorry
I missed class.

- I don't know what's
going on with you lately,

but you're about to flunk.

That means you'll have to make
this class up in night school.

- I don't wanna go
to school at night.

- Tell you what.

If you, as Argentina,

bring peace to
Model U. N., you pass.

- Wait, didn't you say last week
that no one's ever done that?

- Yeah, it's impossible.

Good luck!

- ♪

- So, why were you
late to class this time?

- Max adopted
a thousand hamsters.

- Aw, cute.

- To power a doomsday device.

- Ooh, sinister.

- I've been so busy trying to
save Hiddenville from him,

I can barely keep
up with school.

Although, I did
figure out a way

to keep him contained
for awhile.

- The hamster has
become the hamstee.

- [high-pitched]
There you are!

- It also came filled
with a little bit of helium.

- You may have won
the battle, Phoebe,

but the w*r isn't over!

- ♪

♪ What you see ♪

♪ Is not what you get ♪

♪ Livin' our lives
with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in ♪

♪ Bet you never guessed ♪

♪ 'Cause we're
livin' our lives ♪

♪ Just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture
perfect family ♪

♪ Is what we try to be ♪

♪ Look closer,
you might see ♪

♪ The crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't
make believe ♪

♪ It's our reality ♪

♪ Just your average family ♪

♪ Trying to be normal
and stay out of trouble ♪

♪ Livin' a double life ♪

- Cherry, what am
I gonna do?

If I don't pass, I have
to go to night school.

And night school's filled
with creepers and weirdos.

- It's not so bad.

I took a night class on
how to improve your memory.

- How was that?
- How was what?

- [sighing]
Anyway...

I don't know how I'm
supposed to get world peace

with Allison in our class.

I once fought a guy with
a crab claw for a hand--

and she's scarier!

- And between her and Max,

you totally have
your hands full.

- Ha! Ha! I'm a wrecking
ball now, Phoebe!

- [heavy thud]
- STUDENT: [groans]

- [high-pitched laughter]

- I hate that he's
having so much fun in there.

Hey, what if I set Max and
Allison up on a date tonight?

Then they would both
be outta my hair.

- Speaking of your hair,

is it like shinier
than usual?

- New conditioner.
- Love it!

But your plan's horrible.

Allison and Max don't
even like each other.

- But what if I just
told them that they did?

- Well, then that
would be lying.

- Um, I prefer the term
"creative coupling."

Allison, what's up, sister?
- Hi, Phoebe.

I'm just writing some
chants for Model U. N.

No peace! No way!
We don't care what you say!

- You know who else loves
yelling in my face?

My brother Max.

- Oh, I know Max.

I don't like him at all.

- That's 'cause you
don't know the real Max.

In fact, he's researching
forms of clean energy--

like hamster power.

- I love hamsters!
- So does he!

Check it out!

- Oh, ho, ho,
look at the little guy.

- And I know for a fact
he has a crush on you.

So, what do ya say?

You wanna go out
with hamster boy?

- I guess one night
out won't hurt.

- Awesome! So, tonight?

- I can't. Model U. N.,
remember?

- Oh, you didn't
get the email?

Mrs. Austin moved
it to tomorrow.

- She did?
- Yeah.

- Splatburger, : , bye!

- ♪

- Hey, Max?

Max?

Ice? That's weird.

- MAX: Three, two, one!

- MAX & COLOSSO:
[screaming]

- [heavy thud]

- MAX: Woo!
- COLOSSO: Oh, yeah!

New record.

- And when's my turn?

- Never.

- [blowing hot air]

What are you doin'
down here?

Get out.

- Fine. I was just
gonna tell you about

a hot girl who
has a crush on you.

- Hot girl. Crush.
I'm listening.

- It's a trap!
- Shush. Shush. Shush.

Who?
- Allison.

- It was a trap.
I don't wanna date her.

She's trying to
save the world.

I'm trying to destroy it.

- True, but she's
super into you.

- Well...

I guess we have
that in common.

- So, are you good
with tonight?

- Let me check
with my assistant.

- Hm...

Tonight we have the thing

we were gonna destroy
with the thing.

- Allison said she'd pay.
- Cancel the thing.

- Perfect. Splatburger.
: . Bye!

- See if she has
an evil pet!

Unless it's a cat.
I don't date cats.

And I'm not ready
to talk about it.

- All right, guys,
we're heading out.

Max and Phoebe have plans.

But Cousin Blobbin should
be here any minute.

- I don't know why
we need a babysitter.

- [whooshing]
Surprise att*ck!

- That's why.

- COLOSSO: Hey,
why can't I babysit?

- 'Cause Chloe can
teleport to anywhere

at any time and you...
you can't hold a cup.

- Don't judge him.
It's harder than it looks.

- Also, we don't trust you

because you are
an evil villain.

- Max is evil.
He babysits all the time.

- Max is not evil.
He's just going through a phase.

- It's not a phase!
I'm evil!

- Oh, Blobbin says he's
about to drop in.

- [hooting]

- [heavy thud]

- Thunderman!

- NORA & BILLY: Blobbin!

- Blobbin, why did you
jump out of a plane

without using
a parachute?

- Oh, I didn't
come by plane.

My scientists at Blob-Co
catapulted me here.

Being indestructible
is fun!

Hi-ya! Hi-ya! Hi-ya!
[laughing]

Oh, my goodness.

Is this Chloe?
- Mm-hm.

- Aww...

Do you have a hug for
your Cousin Blobbin?

- Is he the rich one?
- Filthy.

- Cousin Blobbin!
- Ohhhh...

- Oh, Hank and I have
so much trouble

leaving our babies behind.

Right, Hank? Hank?
- [car horn honking]

- Oh, okay, I guess
we're leaving.

Okay. All right, kids.
Be good!

- Don't worry.
They're in safe hands.

[laughing]

Hey, who wants to launch
a rocket tonight?

- BILLY & NORA: I do!
- BLOBBIN: Yay!

- ♪

- Uh, ha. Let me guess.

Your country is Turkey.

- Turkey's a country?

Well, that changes things.

- Oh, you'll like this.

Uh, I just brokered a deal
between Scotland and Norway.

Gideon wanted that
Viking shield

and Wolfgang wanted
that sweet bagpipe.

- [bagpipe music droning]

- Oh, by the way, I brought
a peace cake for later,

so that everyone
can have a "peace" of cake.

[laughing]

Yeah, the woman at the bakery
didn't laugh either.

- It's a good thing
that Max and Allison

agreed to go on that date,
even if you did have to lie.

- I really don't wanna
go to school at night.

- Phoebe, Russia
has demands.

It's me, Oyster.
[giggling]

I will sign peace,

if Turkey gives me
turkey sandwiches.

Mother Russia skipped
lunch today.

- What do you say, Cherry?

I could get you one of
Australia's stuffies.

- Gobble. Gobble.

- ♪

- NORA & BILLY: Whoa!

- Cool rocket.
Can I ride it?

- No, Chloe, it's dangerous.

Also you didn't
call dibs. Dibs!

- Sorry, I can't let
any of you ride it.

- Just a quick spin
around the Milky Way?

- Nora, it's for traveling
through space, not milk.

- The Milky Way
is the name of our galaxy.

- I thought it was Herman.

- Blob-Co built this
to send care packages

to my space station.

That's right,
I have a space station.

- Let's blast it, already!

- On the count of three--
- NORA: Three!

- BLOBBIN: What?
- [rockets roaring]

- Wasn't that cool, Chloe?

- Where'd she go?

- [gasping]
Oh, no!

Did she get in
the rocket?

- ALL: Chloe-e-e-e-e!

- She belongs to
Herman now.

- I have to save her.

She must be so scared.

- [screaming]

- I know. We were
a terrible couple.

- You can do better.

- Soon they will see Colosso
is a more responsible

babysitter than
Blobbin will ever be!

Don't touch that!

- ♪

- HANK: [laughing]
Hey.

- Hank, please don't
tell me I got dressed up

so we could eat
at Splatburger.

- Got ya!
- [laughing]

- Hilarious, eh?

Oh, no, no, we are
eating someplace nice.

Cancel my tube.

- And, if you press these two
buttons at the same time,

it'll order fresh vegetables

for all these stinking
meat-eaters!

- [menu beeps]

- Whoa. You just
made vegetables cool.

- So, Phoebe said
you invented a way

to use hamsters as
a clean energy source?

- Hm, no. I invented
a way to enslave them

to run a doomsday device.

- You can't enslave hamsters.

- Actually, they'll do
just about anything

for a pocket full
of raisins.

- Oh, my gosh,
you're a madman.

- You know, for someone
who has a crush on me,

you sure are fight-picky.

- [laughs] I do not
have a crush on you.

Phoebe said you
had a crush on me.

- Ha! Not a chance.

- A simple "no" would
have been just fine.

Why would she lie to
get us on a date?

- Good question.

Let's see where she's
at on the Chirper.

All right and gotcha.

She's at Model U. N.?

Nerd!

- I'm supposed to
be at Model U. N.

- Nerd!

- She said it
was tomorrow.

She tricked me.

- She tricked us both.

We have to get revenge.
- Yes! Revenge!

The polar bears
will not be silenced!

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Are you saying you have access
to talking polar bears?

Because we can
use them for revenge.

You're looking at me

like you don't have
talking polar bears.

- ♪

- Once Oyster finishes
your sandwich,

everyone will sign the treaty
and, boom, world peace.

- Not on Greenland's watch!

- Allison?

- That's right and meet
my Vice-President.

- Hello, international
house of nerds!

- Nations of the world,

Greenland is melting
and it's your fault.

There will be
no world peace

until Russia stops
making oil,

Norway stops making coal,

and Scotland stops
making that face.

- But you keep
making yours.

- Max, please don't
ruin this.

If I don't make peace,
I have to go to night school.

- Night school?

Well, you'll fit right in

with all those creepers
and weirdos.

- Hey, is this
Intro to Pet Groomin'?

- Uh, sorry, night
school starts next week.

- I told you
it was next week!

- I wonder if that guy will take
you to night school prom?

- Allison, I'm so close
to world peace.

What do I have to do
to get you to sign my treaty?

- You don't get it.
I didn't come to sign it.

I came here to tear it up.
- Hey!

You crumpled my treaty.

You're lucky Italy
has a printing press.

- That treaty is written in
the tears of polar bears!

Give up your polluting
ways or no peace!

No way! Polar bears
will make you pay!

- Want me to take
her aside and talk turkey?

- Thanks, but I don't
think you'll have to.

Allison made one mistake--
making Max her V-P.

We just have to
wait patiently

until Max does
something dumb.

And, oh, yeah, see?
There he goes.

- [phone camera beeping]

- Oyster, Norway
totally stole your doll.

Not cool, Wolfgang.

- [German accent]
Vas is dollz zen?

- Vasis Dolzen?

More like Vasis steals it.

- Wolfgang didn't
steal that doll.

Max set him up.

- ALL: [gasping]

- Crikey!

- Max stabzen mein backzen?

- Why'd you do that?

- We talked about
getting revenge.

- We never said anything
about sabotage.

- It doesn't matter
what ya said,

it's what ya did.

- She's right, Greenland.

Model U. N. does not
tolerate international

backzen stabzen.

You're outta here.

- Wait, what?
- But I didn't--

- But ya did.

- Thanks a lot, Max.

- All right, who's
ready to celebrate

with some peace cake?

- OTHERS: [cheering,
applauding]

- Oh, how could I launch
Chloe into space?

- Oh, no, it looks like

someone needs to babysit
the babysitter.

- Look for anything
that will sh**t Blobbin

into space to save Chloe.

- I found fireworks!

- And I found spray cheese!

- Bring it all!

And grab crackers!

- Okay, Chloe, you can
come out now.

- Did I win?

- Not until you
hear the fire engines.

[evil laugh]

- Allison, wait!

You can't just walk out
on your Vice-President.

- Of course, I can.
You abused my trust.

Now I'm going to
abuse you!

- Ow!

Wait, hold on. It's just
some dumb assignment.

- Wow, you sound
just like my parents.

"Why are you always trying to
save the world, Allison?"

"When are you gonna
grow outta this phase, Allison?"

- They say you're
going through a phase?

- Yeah. So?

- Well, it's not
a phase, is it?

- ALLISON: No, it's not.

The real world needs
all the help it can get--

especially with all
you Thundermans

running around in it.

- What's that
supposed to mean?

- It means you and Phoebe
make me sick.

You're both selfish.

You don't care what you
do or who you hurt,

as long as you get
what you want.

- Okay.

I guess I see where
you're coming from.

It is kinda my fault.

- So, what are you saying?
You're sorry?

- Yeah.

And, for the record,

that's not something
I usually say.

- Technically,
you still haven't said it.

- [sighing,
clearing throat]

I'm... [sighing]
sorry.

- Well, it's kinda
too late.

I'm already kicked
out of the U. N.

- But we can't give up.

Let's go back in there
and talk to Mrs. Austin

and stop the treaty
the right way.

- Why do you care
all of a sudden?

- I care because...

I know what it feels
like to be told

you're going through a phase.

My parents tell me
the exact same thing.

- That you're going
through what--

an awesome hair phase?

- [laughs]
Something like that.

So, what do you say
we go back in there?

- Let's do this!

- Wait, so, diggin'
the hair, huh?

- Don't get cocky.

- [heavy thud]

- ♪

- Are you sure this
is gonna work?

- BILLY & NORA: Nope!

- Start main engines!
- [engines start]

- Fire thrusters!

Rocket boosters, go!
- [rockets roaring]

- You're indestructible!
You're indestructible!

You're indestructible!

- Hi, guys,
what's goin' on?

- Hold on, Chloe.
We're comin' to save you.

- BILLY, NORA, BLOBBIN:
Chloe!!

- Abort lift off!
Abort lift off!

- It's too late!

- And blast off!

- BLOBBIN: [yelping]
- [fireworks crackling]

- Yay, Cousin Blobbin!

- BLOBBIN: [yelping]

- What is happening?

- Exactly what happens

when you leave your children
with a nincompoop.

- Well, I'll always take
a nincompoop over a villain,

especially an indestructible
one who works for free.

Blobbin, you can babysit
any time you want.

- BILLY & NORA: Yay!

- BLOBBIN: Yaaaaayyy!

- Here come the fire engines!
- [sirens wailing]

- I win!

- ♪

- Australia is dope
to be the last country

to sign this ripper
of a treaty

and bring world
peace, mates!

- Kelsey, stop.

- Looking super
cute--again.

- I'll sign that treaty.

- No treaties
will be signed.

Especially yours, Gideon.

- Phoebe, what are
you doing?

You're this close
to passing.

- I don't deserve to pass.

Nations of the world,

this treaty
is based on lies.

I told Allison that
Model U. N. was cancelled

because I cared more
about my grade

than doing the right thing.

Argentina now stands
with Greenland

in their mission
to save the polar bears.

- You promised us peace cake.

- I threw the cake out.
- OTHERS: [gasping]

- No caken, no peace!

- [bagpipes whine]

- Nobody att*cks
a polar bear ally!

- Oh!

- ALL: [shouting]

- Food now!
- Watch it, Mother Russia!

- What'd you say
about my mother?!

- [heavy thud]
- OYSTER: Whoa!

- ALL: [shouting,
screaming]

- Save the koalas!

- Look at that--

total chaos and I didn't
have to lift a finger.

- Thanks for standing
up for me, Phoebe.

- It was wrong of me
to silence you.

And super wrong of me

to send you on a date
with my butthead brother.

- You see me standing
here, right?

- Uh-huh.
There's the treaty.

Would you like to
do the honors?

- Victory feels so good!
[laughing]

Ow!

A flying shark? Really?

I thought you were better
than that, Tonga!

- ALL: [shouting,
chattering]

- I think I like
that girl.

- Me, too.

She deserves a victory.

- [milk splatting]
- [gasping]

- Way to go, Canada!
- [laughing]

- Now if you'll excuse me,
I have a date to finish.

- [heavy thud]

- Viva la Greenland!

- ALL: [shouting,
screaming]

- ♪