01x05 - Annihilation of Joy

[bunniefuu]

Good morning, simulation farmers.

This is the Pyromoth
coming in hot this morning

with a track by Brian Zapp
and the Beefettes.

- A little tune by the name of "Fire Baby."

Turn that off!

As you desire, Master.

Oh, what a f*cking crazy dream, Rose.

Rose?

Rose!

Oh, no, somebody puked on you.

f*ck. Someone puked on you.

I can fix this.

Ugh, Charlotte, come on.

Char... Ugh, Charlotte!

Oh, my head.

Good morning, Master.

How are you feeling?

-Coffee.
-I will make coffee for you, sweetie.

Ooh.

All right.

Let's see here. No.

The doctors told me shepherd's paunch
was incurable

and I only had a few days to live.

Thank God for Nurse Prunk.

Music cured my shepherd's paunch,

my marriage, my thick dog,
my empty bank account,

even my withered... garden.

And I'm gonna teach you
to use music to become immortal.

You're one click away

from my Music Soothes the Savage Beast
Musical Miracle course.

It's so obvious.

Music, of course.

Okay, plug that in there, put that
in that, accept that, connect that.

Here we go. And now.

f*ck it. Computer, play music.

Nice.

That's a good song.

Master, I crafted
this musical rainbow avatar for you.

Meet Pretty Pretty.

I like Pretty Pretty.

-Thank you, Computer.
-You're welcome, Master.

- Whoa, what's that place?
- Oops.

You weren't supposed to see that.

That's my Soul Prison
for Wayward Simulated Beings.

What the f*ck does that mean?

It's a tower of malfunctioning sims
so enraged with existential dread

that they've ripped out their own tongues.

What? Yes. Send me in.

That sounds perfect.

I'm not going to get hurt? No?

You cannot die in a soul prison. You...

You can only be reborn.

Oh!

Sounds good, man. Send me in.

Merging with simulator in three...

two...

...one.

402, 403...

Oh, hi.

Hi.

Play... I play music. I don't really play.

I mean, my name's Clancy.

I'm a spacecaster.

And I wanted to know if maybe you'd like
to be interviewed for my spacecast?

Which goes into space.

He bit his own tongue off,
like, three years ago.

But you could interview me.
I'm his soul bird.

Uh...

Okay.

Well, we say "soul bird,"
but to be more specific about it,

I'm like a psychopomp

- or a whip-poor-will.
- What?

Oh, boy.

Calm down, Bob. It's okay.

Come on, guys.

Oh!

Hey, wait. Hey! Wake up.

What's going on?

This is the existential trap
of the soul prison.

Oh!

Holy sh*t.

-That was nuts!
-That was the bardo loop.

You're all knotted up
in my boy's soul string here.

Huh.

I guess that means you'll be coming along
for the ride every time Bob dies.

Cool.

My name's Jason, by the way.

Okay.

This moment would not be happening
if we were not both here discussing it

and everyone listening
out in the multiverses

was not here listening to this, right?

Without you, the viewer,

-and you, Clancy, the host...
-Yeah.

...and the millions of people
who could hear this,

this moment would not exist.

Therefore, it's not a function,

like, I'm talking right now...

...but this is not
a function of some essential, core Jason.

-Right.
-I'm playing a role right now.

I can feel it.

It feels weird.

-Wait, you were talking about...
-A Hindu theory, Indra's Net.

-Right.
-So the concept

is that all the consciousnesses
in the world are connected.

Imagine, like, a giant net,
like, a glowing, blue net in infinity.

Like a quilt?

No. More like a net.

The Hindu view on this

is that it's the nodes
that are important, right?

And the points on the net,
the connections between the lines,

those are consciousnesses.

-Those are Atmans.
-Yes.

The Atman is conscious.
It is consciousness.

-And each individual consciousness is God.
-Yes.

And, in its own way, is the totality.

It's the soul of a butterfly.

The soul of a... I don't know,
like a single-celled organism.

A bacteria to the soul
of, like, the Dalai Lama,

to the soul of some as-of-yet uncontacted,
hyper-intelligent...

-All the... The gods themselves.
-Yes.

It's like every soul
is like photons coming out of the sun.

Right. So the Buddha looks at Indra's Net
and it's basically the same topography,

but he says, "It's not the nodes.
It's the connections."

-Ha! Cool.
-Right.

So, this is the diagnostics
of the Buddha, right?

It's like we think we exist
and therefore we suffer.

Oh!

Sorry, we exist, therefore we suffer?

We think that there's something
essentially true about reality.

You only have the illusion
that you're a separate self,

because it's a point
at which a network converges.

The important distinction here also
is this is not nihilism.

It's not, "Nothing is real."

It's that everything
is empty of inherent quality,

meaning non-essentialism.

There's no essential, one true "Clancy."

- There's no essential, one true "Jason."
- Right.

There's no essence of anything.

The Tibetan Buddhists
call this the clear light,

understanding the essential
non-existence of everything.

Now, to ground this in my life,

you know, the way
that I've experienced this is on DMT.

So, December 21st, 2012...

...I did a tremendous amount of DMT...

...um, while engaged in sexual antics
with multiple people.

Wow.

-You know?
-Who humps on DMT? I've never tried that.

-I didn't know that was a thing.
-It's tricky. It's actually... Well...

Well, you don't have consciousness
of your body anymore,

so basically the sex part stops
during the DMT experience.

Okay. But, in between, you're having sex?

Yes.

In the DMT space,

I had the experience of perceiving
the fundamental emptiness of everything

and I described it recently as,
"Nothingness, but shining."

Wow. You're a cool bird.

What I realized in the DMT trip is that...

The French call the orgasm
"the little death."

Death is actually the big orgasm, right?

The relinquishing of the self.

And the self obviously doesn't exist,

but the self is also a burden
and is a source of suffering.

Well, you know,
I guess everything's kind of a burden...

to you, you know?

A bird-en.

A "bird"-en.

'Cause you're a bird.

Oh, man,
can you please not do bird jokes?

I was in the middle of a thought.

The relinquishing of the idea
that you have an individual self

is the ultimate orgasm.

It's the perception of emptiness and
the fundamental clear light of existence.

Now, let's take this out of my wacky life
and back to 2,500 years ago.

Right? Hinduism and Buddhism are...

Buddhism is a Hindu heresy.

And the Nepalese merge them both

to create this,
like, psychedelic Megazord...

A what?

Like a... Like a...
What's that called in Power Rangers?

Oh, okay, cool.

Damn it. God. I'm glad it's Power Rangers,

but I was praying
that you had just added to my lexicon...

...of some f*cking new spiritual term
called Megazord.

Power Rangers, yeah. It's not Sanskrit.

So 2,500 years ago...

...people start practicing
Buddhist techniques

and people start waking up out of
the dream of their individual suffering

all over northeastern India.

Buddhist meditation
is you're not trying to get anywhere.

You're just sitting with yourself.

You're just sitting with the feeling.

The feeling that you try to get away from
all damn day long.

Hoo! Tingle. It tingles.

What were we talking about?
I get foggy in there.

Yeah. I'm trying not to be like,
"How did I get this job?"

This is like I'm cursed
to constantly do this.

Give those to me.

So Buddhist meditation
is sitting with "the feeling"

until you notice that "the feeling"
is changing of its own accord

and the fundamental nature of everything
is change

and is impermanent

and is emptiness.

And the whole dream of your life
that you thought was real was just a dream

until you wake up and say, "Oh, yeah,
it was just a dream.

And now I'm awake."

-That's the first turning of the Dharma.
-Wow.

That's great, man.

It kind of makes me think of...

It's like this, like, very, very long
virtual reality experience

that had been going on so long, people
forgot they were doing virtual reality.

And then, all of a sudden,
a huge swathe of the player characters

began to realize like,
"Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

I'm not sure that actually...
Wait, hold on.

Wait, I'm not actually Kratos,
the God of w*r.

It's like we're these amnesiac,
spiritual amphibians

that, like, you know, pop in here.

And, when we pop in,
we assume an identity.

This appendage
that is protruding into matter,

in the way that a snorkel
sticks into the air

so that you can exist for a little bit
of time under the sea, you know?

And...

similarly, we've protruded into this realm
and we, like, have this experience,

but we start thinking
we're the f*cking snorkel, right?

That's, in fact, part of the experience.

You think you're the snorkel.

If you took, like, a big chunk of sausage

and baked it
and then, like, drilled a hole through it

and formed a snorkel,
you theoretically could swim around...

sucking air through salty meat.

Clancy...

So whatever this experience is,
we think it's real

and we think
that we are somehow inherently real

and it's a case of mistaken identity.

This is the Buddhist perspective at least.

So, from this perspective,
let's consider spiritual practice.

Any spiritual practice that's, like,
trying to get to something...

"I'm going to become more spiritual.
I am going to become more loving."

"And I'm gonna make some change."

"I'm getting points somehow.
I'm changing."

- Yeah.
- The Buddhist perspective is,

"Dude, you're grinding
in World Of Warcraft."

That's so f*cked up.

Why?

That's such a great analogy.

Step the f*ck away from the computer.

Wake up.

It's just a game.

You're f*cking grinding
in World Of Warcraft.

You're trying
all these spiritual practices

or you're trying to add experience points
to a character that doesn't f*cking exist!

You forgot that you're playing a game.

You're dehydrated. Drink some water.

You've been playing this fricking game
for, like, 20 hours straight

to the point
that you forgot it was a game.

We want to continue
pushing into the simulation.

It's like we want to repeat
what's already happened.

It's not enough that we're in our bodies

and we've identified
with this player character.

Whereas Buddhism is pulling out.

It's like we've got
virtual reality goggles on

and we're in a game

and now we want to put on
another set of virtual reality goggles.

And then, not only do we want to put that
on, but we want to add to that another...

augmented reality, then another.

So this is, like, this kind of infinite...

Is "ingress" the right... An infinite
pushing into matter and time.

An infinite... And in that
kind of pushing into matter and time...

we're desperately trying to avoid
taking off the virtual reality goggles.

Why are we desperately trying to avoid it?

Because we don't want
to feel that feeling.

What feeling?

"The feeling."

I am as I am, right?

The feeling of everything that you do,

the addiction, the addiction to Maya,

is to not feel your inherent suffering.

-Yeah.
-Right? Because it sucks to have a body.

It hurts.

Whoa!

f*ck.

This guy's gotta keep dying like this?

Yeah. Until he figures it out.

Because it sucks to have a body.

It hurts.

The fact that everything is impermanent
is a cause of suffering.

-Yeah.
-Right?

Old age, sickness and disease. And death.

-Yeah.
-Um...

Bob, are you doing okay, man?

We believe in a universe
in which time exists

and therefore everything will disintegrate
and be gone

and the suffering of that is unbearable.

Yeah. When my teacher started teaching me,

the first thing he said is,
"I want you to know this."

And Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche,
my teacher, said to me...

And he meant this.

And I remember
he looked me right in the eye.

He meant this.

"This is hopeless.

- This is hopeless."
- Yes.

The moment
you accept things as they are...

you don't need to hope anymore.

Because you realize that where you are
is kind of okay.

See, I'm at the part
of my life now where that's a relief.

I've gotten past the part where,
like, I'm in a Disney movie where...

hope is like a chipmunk
singing about, like,

No. Hope tortures your f*cking ass.

Yeah.

- He's never gonna get this.
- He needs...

He needs music!

Uh, let's see. So...

Play the spoons.

Bob, hang in there!
We're gonna play music for you, Bob!

Music!

f*ck. sh*t.

- Wait, I think...
- Bob!

Yeah. That's it!

Play the spoons!

- Uh...
- Bust out those spoons!

Okay.

Yeah, baby!

You're the king of spoons!

Climb, Bob! Go! Yeah! That's it!

Forget about it. Listen to the spoons!

I don't even know when the last
time I expressed that much enthusiasm

in the real world was.

Possibly not in, like, 30 years, so...

Yeah, it's okay! You can do it too.

Pshh! Give up on hope!

sh*t.

Now, hopelessness
sounds really rotten when you...

If you haven't really explored just how
much you've been using hope

as a flaw.

"Ooh, I hope tomorrow..." Smack!

"Oh, I hope she comes back." Slap!

"I hope I can forget..." Smack!

Just b*ating yourself up with hope.

Not one f*cking second
you let yourself be hopeless.

Let go of hope.

Let go.

Huh?

I can finally sing.

Holy sh*t.

Good morning, Master.

Master?

Love that song.

Still a good song.

Master...

Let's see how my rose is doing.

Get out of here! Ooh!

It's a kind of cult.