03x01 - Second Time Lucky

[bunniefuu]

There he is. My boy!

Hello, Mum.

You're too young to be getting married.

You should still be at home with your mammy.

He'd be an old man before

he got wed if it was up to you.

- Hello, son.

- Hello, dad.

Let me take those.

- Are you all right there, Pa?

- Aye. Just a bit sore.

They've got him working all hours

plating ships at the dock.

You'd think we're already at w*r,

the rate they're building.

- It won't come to that.

- But I'm happy to do my bit all the same.

Aye. You did that

the first time around.

You sure you don't want

to join us tonight, Pa?

- Well - Och, your father's got no

time for all that carry on.

- Have you, dear?

- Uh No, no, I suppose not.

I'll carry these inside for you.

It might be James' last night as a

single man, but don't drink too much.

And more importantly, don't let

James drink too much.

I want him walking Helen down that

aisle tomorrow, not staggering.

You can lead a horse to water,

Mrs. H, but you can't make it

guzzle six pints of Sharp brew.

If you pour it down

his bloomin' neck, you can.

[WHIMPERS]

Don't be so fussy, Clancy.

It's just for one night.

Mr. Mulligan will be back

to pick you up tomorrow evening.

What are you doing?

It's only 5:26.

- Finished for the day.

- Already?!

- Plenty of bread.

- The Harris' cat that needed spaying?

- Done.

- And there's milk too.

- What about Mulligan's hellhound, Clancy?

Oh, the usual vomiting, but there's

something on his chest, too.

I've administered Digoxin,

but we'll keep him overnight.

- See how he responds. - Well, make sure he's

locked away, or he'll chew the place to pieces.

Slow and steady wins the race.

Look, I know this must be

hard for you both,

but your days of

mollycoddling me are over.

I'm a fully functioning

member of society now.

You'll just have to find someone

else to mother hen.

Ah, Jim. Perfect timing.

Mrs. Hall's got your first

tipple of the evening.

Parents get settled in all right?

Yes, they're staying at

the Falcon Inn again.

You know, James, this wedding business

is really rather inconsiderate of you.

- Oh, is it, Siegfried?

- Yes, it damn well is.

Then there's the honeymoon

you're drifting gaily off on.

- You can't begrudge the boy a holiday.

- A week in North Riding. Lovely.

It's not lovely. It's bloody awful.

The whole week.

And I'm here running around,

disappearing halfway up my own backside.

Only halfway.

Should have booked in for two.

I'm sorry, Helen, but

spring is our busiest time of year.

- I didn't mean to land you in it like this.

- Oh, no.

- He's only had it booked in for six months.

- Exactly.

You don't plan ahead.

You go belting in without a care in the world.

- No, hang on a minute. It was you who

- Marriage is a serious step.

It shouldn't be undertaken

without serious thought.

- Right.

- May I remind you of the old saying?

Marry in haste, repent at leisure.

- Well

- Oh, not you two.

I meant people. Other people.

You'll probably be fine.

Are we sure we don't want him to say

a few words at the service?

Hadn't we better eat? We're due at

the Drovers in, what, an hour?

- Ring?

- Safely stowed in my

Oh, my God

Ah, just joking! Just a joke.

Can I check?

- Almost offended.

- Your life wouldn't be worth living.

Do we understand one another?

Thanks, Tris.

Let's eat.

Thank you, Mrs. H.

First time I ever saw you,

I was so distracted

I got off the bus in

the middle of nowhere!

( groves) I remember wondering

what you were up to.

I never imagined for a second this

is where we'd end up.

Yes, you did.

Yes. Yes.

I did.

Better hop on.

- See you tomorrow.

- Count on it.

- Still time to change your mind.

- Not for anything in the world.

Best man buys the first round.

One last look.

Ah

Spoilsport.

You're going to be all right?

Don't worry about me.

- Don't wait up.

- Look after James.

Don't you misbehave either.

You two be careful up on that roof.

And you, steady with my ale.

Can I have your room since you're

not coming back this time?

My bed'll barely be cold

before you're in it.

Well, what do you expect?

It's way more comfy.

Of course you can.

I'll be back here every day.

Hey, nothing's going to change.

Just because I'm getting married,

it won't be any different.

You know, Mum would be

so proud of you.

- Everything you've done for us.

- Don't. You'll set me off.

I love you to your ruddy bones.

Even if you're an

annoying little tyke.

Less of the little, now.

Aye. Less of the little.

Now, then, lad,

I'm under strict orders to

make sure you don't get

in trouble, so

Steady on that ale.

- Tom, sort out James, will you?

- Same again, Maggie.

- A yard of ale is coming up.

- Something stronger?

- No, no more, Tom.

- I have plenty left here.

- It's empty.

- Which is plenty enough for me.

He's empty-

A yard of ale, if you wouldn't mind,

please, Maggie.

I'll bring it over.

Arthur, shelf in the stock room.

Thanks, Arthur.

I still don't see what

he's got that I haven't.

That tells a story of its own.

Ah, just in time, big brother.

How much is that, Maggie?

But, Tristan, you're a fully

functioning member of society now.

- Yes, I am a tiny bit short.

- Go on.

It's a hell of a thing. One cow we sold

turned out to have tuberculosis.

My whole herd might be infected.

It's the waiting. I can barely sleep

for worrying about it.

- Losing your herd is a terrible thing to contemplate.

- It's not my herd.

It's the infected milk that might come

from it. People will be drinking that.

We need to know. Sorry.

- I shouldn't be spoiling your fun like this.

- No, it's fine.

Have a good one, lad.

He lost his first son to TB

ten years ago.

Young Wilf there and his dad

had a struggle.

Milk from his old herd.

You know you're in trouble when

they serve drinks by their length.

No! No, I can't.

- Can't?

- I shouldn't.

Come on.

There you go.

[CHEERING]

[BANGING ON TABLES]

[CHEERING]

Oh, blimey.

Smells like a brewery in here.

Oh, no, Maggie

You're a married woman.

Oh, Jess.

It's just you.

- Breakfast will be on the table in five minutes.

- Ok.

Where's James?

I hope you didn't lose him last night.

I confess the details

are a little hazy.

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

No, no, no

The ring!

Oh, God

[HE HUMS]

You certainly seem in a better state

than your brother.

The exuberance of youth is no match

for the resilience of experience.

Yours, I believe?

Found them covered in mud.

I may have had a slight tumble

on my way home.

I found them in the pantry.

I was in need of cheese.

You took your clothes off for a

slice of cheddar?

Not entirely compos mentis.

And I found this in the pocket.

I thought it prudent to relieve

Tristan of the responsibility.

He left it on the table last night.

I doubt he even realised.

Breakfast will just be a minute.

The rat's yours, I presume?

Ah, yes, I do now recall.

- Do you?

- Not particularly, no.

And what about James? His bed don't

look like it's been slept in.

Here he is. The worst man.

He did come home with you?

Ring all safe and sound? Mm-hm.

Yeah. How are you getting on

with your prize?

Prize? What prize?

What are you talking about?

Siegfried got himself embroiled in

the drinking contest.

- We all did, actually.

- Would you both, please, just

- I don't remember any contest.

- No, it wasn't.

- You drank us under the table.

- Did I?

Where's James?!

- Oh, God

- What is it?

You better take the Rover.

It'll be quicker.

Oh!

Keys. Where are the keys?

On the hook where they live.

Yes, yes.

[CATTLE LOWING]

(Morning, there)

Mr. Herriot.

Got a brew for you.

Thank you. Um

Get cracking, shall we?

I don't want you late to t'church.

I said you shouldn't on the night

before your wedding,

but you wouldn't take

no for an answer.

Insisted on coming back

no matter what.

Well, we don't like to let our

clients down.

You said you want to get started

first thing this morning.

I'm sorry, started on what?

Dear me, you were three sheets to

the wind, weren't you, lad?

- The testing, the TB testing.

- TB testing?

The cows? My herd.

I see. Of course.

We picked up your equipment

on the way.

I would have brought you in the

house, but you insisted on the barn.

Couldn't shift you

for love nor money.

I wouldn't want to impose on you.

That's not (Haskin Field)?

Aye, that it be.

Now, shall we get started?

[CATTLE LOWING]

There they are.

I'll get the lads together.

Won't take long to round them up.

Once they're in the crush,

it should be easy enough.

Unless you're worried,

it'll be cutting it fine?

We should be all right.

What's that face?

Very typical. A decent breakfast on

the day that you're leaving us.

Heard you come in last night.

Along with half the county.

Oh, well It were very dark.

Couldn't see where I were going.

I said I'd do breakfast this morning.

Mm Saying and doing are

two different things.

- What happened?

- Happened?!

Nothing happened.

I'm going to muck out

Candy and Joan.

- No. Sit yourself down.

- I'm fine, Dad.

I'd rather keep busy.

- Mm.

- Mm.

Jim?

Jim?

Seventy eight.

All good so far, Mr. Henry.

No sign of TB in the half

we've done.

Come on, Wilfred.

Get another through.

- You've still got a job to do here, you know?

- Yes, Dad.

Come on.

Stubborn beggar won't shift.

I saw that recruiting officer got

stuck into you last night.

Aye. He did that.

Wilf didn't take much persuading.

I was under the impression farming

was a reserved occupation.

Oh, it is, for the older folk, but

there's nothing stopping

these young lads from signing up,

if that's what they want to do.

I'm proud of him for standing up.

- So you should be.

- James!

Tris? What are you doing here?

I think I'd be neglecting my best man duties

if I didn't ask you the same question.

Mr. Henry needed his cows testing.

I'm getting an eerie sense

of deja vu.

Only last time it was Helen hiding up

in the Dales, having second thoughts.

I'm not having second thoughts.

I told him it could wait until after

his wedding.

Jim, you're getting married

in two hours' time.

If any of these cows have

tuberculosis,

and we don't pick it up,

it can spread to

the rest of the herd

and into the milk.

We're here now, and

we have a job to do.

We'll get it done.

[BARKS]

Knock, knock.

I was clearing out the bedsit for

Helen and James,

and I found this.

What's this?

Handsome creature.

Ah, Well,

I was younger then, you see.

Still, years haven't been

completely unkind

You're talking about the horse,

aren't you?

That's Sergeant Morris Oliver.

Has his own practice now.

I haven't seen all

this stuff for years.

Evelyn boxed it all up

before she d*ed.

She was very practical.

She though I was perhaps a bit

lacking in that respect.

There's a lot more boxes up there.

Oh, yes.

I had to get a day's extension

to my leave so we could marry.

We didn't even have time

to buy a ring.

Tied a knot in a length of twine.

Very practical.

- Evelyn would approve.

- Hm.

- You've forgotten where you put it, haven't you?

- No, absolutely not.

Mrs. Hall?

- Mrs. Hall!

- You really will burst something one of these days.

The ring box.

It was right there, and

Oh, dear.

[DOG WHIMPERS]

Let me. You'll be absolutely reeking

when you walk down the aisle.

Got time for a bath afterwards.

It's hardly putting you

in a romantic mood.

I'd rather keep myself busy.

- Keep your mind off it?

- Because I like to be busy.

Why don't you stop? I can fill the

bath for you if you like.

- What are you up to?

- Nothing. I'm not up to anything.

And what are you hiding

back there for?

No-one's hiding. I were just

There's a few stones out of place.

The wedding isn't till this afternoon.

Aye, we know. We've a right

to worry, though. Don't we?

- You know, after last time.

- You have got form.

I called off one wedding.

It happened once.

That doesn't mean I've got form.

I love James.

I'm marrying James, today.

This afternoon. Nothing's going to

get in t'way of that.

At least, I think it won't

You think?

Helen?

I've just got so much running

through my mind.

You know, I mean

What about the chickens?

- The chickens?

- What about them?

- Then there's the cows.

- What are you talking about, lass?

- The chickens are fine.

- I'll be milking the cows.

Then I think what it might be

like to be married.

James isn't bad.

- Dad

- All right, then, he's good.

No father could wish for

more for his daughter.

But I'm telling you, I'm not going

through all that bloody nonsense again.

I'm just not.

Oh

You're having me on.

She's having me on.

- Very funny.

- I'll go and see to t'pigs.

Going to give me a bloody heart

att*ck one day, you.

You can pack it in an' all.

I thought farmers and

vets were protected.

They are. We are.

Reserved occupations.

But Wilfred was able to volunteer.

Maybe we could too.

Looking after animals

keeps food on plates.

Doubtless you'll protect more people

by preventing TB spread

than you ever would

with a g*n in your hand.

It is a shame for the women

of the world, though.

I mean, I would look

good in a uniform.

- Right, this looks like the last one. Come on.

- Confirm code number seventy six.

Six Seventy seven.

Your herd's is in good shape,

Mr. Henry.

Thank the Lord for that.

Grand work, Mr. Herriot.

That's the last one.

Come on, then. Let's go.

- Are we missing some?

- No, no, I don't think so.

There's one left to do.

She could be in the bracken down

by the stream.

Wilfred, get down in the gully,

and look for a cow.

I'm afraid we We really must be

getting going, Mr. Henry.

He's right. I won't have

you missing your wedding.

Thank you for coming up so fast.

- Make sure you keep her away from the rest of the

herd, or we'll have to test them all again.

- Will do.

Now, don't keep that young lass

waiting a moment longer.

- Thank you, Mr. Henry.

- Dad! Dad!

Mr. Herriot!

[COW LOWING]

Come on, then. Quick!

Must have done something

to her leg, Mr. Herriot.

There we are, Clancy. Oh, I'm sorry.

That doesn't taste very nice,

does it?

- Shouldn't they be back by now?

- Well, my brother is reliably unreliable.

What about this one? Still no luck?

For a dog with

a fondness for vomiting,

he's been decidedly uncooperative.

I've tried linseed oil, salt water,

now mustard and then soda crystals.

See if that doesn't force the issue.

One wonders if a lesson

might have been learned.

- What are you implying, Mrs. Hall?

- Well, there's no implying.

Straight-up telling you:

sticking your beak in has created this mess.

I dispute that.

Because of my actions,

we know exactly where the ring is.

It's inside a dog.

If I left it with Tristan, we wouldn't

have a bloody clue where it was.

- At least this way we're sure.

- For all the good it does.

I think it's extremely unfair of

you, given the efforts I've made.

I let Tristan run surgery entirely

by himself.

And you know how much

I value James.

That doesn't change the fact he's

getting married today.

Because of your meddling,

there's no blooming ring, and he's

up in the Dales instead of getting

ready for his wedding.

It was James's choice

to go up to Henry's.

I'm sure the way you went on last

night had nothing to do with it.

- Which one?

- That one.

I'm touched you even asked.

- I don't know why you're carrying on like this.

- I'd finished.

You know, Herriot has a much thicker

skin than you give him credit for.

He's only up at

that farm because you

made him feel guilty about

going away.

- Why are you giving me this?

- I need you to run me up to Weston Grange.

I'd said I'd help Helen get ready.

And you need to get over to Henry's

and bring that boy back.

What about Clancy? I've just given

him an emetic. I can't very well leave him.

[WHIMPERING]

You really are the most ridiculous

creature.

I hope you're referring to the dog.

Did you put James's suit in the back?

He won't have time to come back here.

Yes, yes.

(Everything this)

Did you hear cracking as the bone moved?

What do you say, Mr. Herriot?

It's not great.

Mr. Henry, the metacarpus is fractured,

and the bone's only staying in place

because these muscles of hers are

holding it there.

And it's causing her

a great deal of pain.

Right. If there's nothing

that can be done

that's the way of it.

No need to delay yourself

any further, Mr. Herriot.

Time to get thee wed.

Wilfred, fetch my g*n, would you?

- That's it?

- I tried.

- Not very hard from where I'm standing.

- Wilfred!

- Sorry, Pa, but they're meant to help.

Otherwise, what's the point in them?

I suppose we could try a splint.

It'd keep the weight off the leg,

and maybe give it a chance to heal.

It's a long sh*t, but at least then we

can say we've exhausted everything.

What about your wedding?

We'll go straight to church when we're done.

Helen'll have to take me as I am.

- Thanks for doing this again.

- No, it's my pleasure.

For a mother without daughters,

this is something I never thought

I'd get to do once,

let alone twice.

I wish my mam were here.

She is, in you and in your sister.

Aye.

Were you nervous?

Well, I didn't have time to be.

Robert only had a few days' leave.

Not just about the wedding.

Everything after.

We were in love.

Robert were kind,

and a good man.

It didn't turn out how I'd hoped -

the w*r put paid to that.

But when I married him,

I didn't have any doubts at all.

You don't have any doubts

about James, do you?

Definitely not.

Lovely.

Give us a minute, would you?

Mrs. Pumphrey is sorry

she can't be here,

but Tricki has promised

to tell her all about it.

Funny looking thing, isn't it?

Mr. Alderson, apologise at once.

All right, lad.

Right, um

I'm sorry, Tricki.

Your sister is aware

of the time, is she?

Keep your hair on, Dad.

Look all right?

Aye Middling.

- I'll see you there.

- Careful on that bike.

Herriot?

Mr. Henry?

- This was never going to work.

- Then the question does beg to be asked

What was I supposed to do?

Just walk away?

What on earth do you think you're

doing?!

Good afternoon, William. I'm afraid I'm

going to have to take this one away with me.

- I need to splint the leg.

- It's your wedding day, you damn fool.

I'm sorry. I've never

known anyone with

more passion and dedication

to the care of animals.

But he still doesn't know

when to call it a day.

I thought maybe if

she keeps the weight off it -

You know perfectly well that's just

going to prolong the inevitable.

Out of the way.

Let me see.

[COW LOWS]

James, it's your wedding.

I understand you felt

you had to do this,

but really, some things

are more important.

Mr. Henry, we've done

everything we can for her,

and she must be in terrible pain.

I understand.

Thanks for trying, Mr. Herriot.

Wilfred.

You shouldn't have to do that today.

I'll do it.

Very good.

I'll follow you.

I'd rather not stay,

if you don't mind.

Bye, old lass.

[COW LOWS]

Used one before?

When I was much younger.

Safety's still on.

If you've not got

the stomach for it

Thank you.

Someone's got to do it.

[g*n sh*t]

Siegfried, why is Clancy coming to

the wedding with us?

Oh He's been a friend of the

practice for some time now.

I'd be strange if he wasn't there.

I didn't sleep the night

before my wedding.

My head going

a thousand miles an hour.

Did you ever worry what

kind of husband you would be?

What sort of man?

- Too late.

- If I decided

What if I was needed somewhere else?

- Somewhere else? What are you talking about?

- Wilfred signed up.

James No!

What you do What we do is far

more important than any

You shouldn't even be contemplating

such a thing. Today of all days.

You're too important here. You're staying

here, and that's a bloody end to it.

You know, it is the tradition that

the groom arrives before the bride.

He'll be here.

Come on!

Shoes. Siegfried, where are my

shoes?

- Borrow mine.

- Oh, you're driving!

[SCREECHING]

Siegfried

- They're too big.

- Wellies it is, then.

[SLOSHING]

Oh, well done!

That's absolutely perfect timing.

What is? What's wrong with him?

That's it, Clancy.

Good lad.

Oh, well done.

All right, lad. Take a breath.

She's not here yet.

Oh, thank Christ. Heavens.

- Oh, James, wellies!

- Take mine.

What happened to

your good shoes?!

You missing something?

Oh, God. Thank God.

You ought to start taking your

responsibilities more seriously.

Use me as your example.

I pride myself on always, always

- Siegfried

- It's nothing to do with me.

You're on your own.

Siegfried!

You need to help.

- I don't I'm sorry.

- Helen is right behind us.

- I know.

- She's going to hurt me.

- Something No, something will

Oh, God. Come on, Clancy.

Don't eat your lead, please.

Don't eat your lead.

[BARKING]

- Oh, don't ask!

- Clancy.

[BARKING]

Excuse me. Sorry. Sorry, everybody.

- Excuse me. Sorry.

- By the skin of your teeth.

Well, that we're here at all

is something of a miracle.

Siegfried

Hold this.

- Ready to go?

- Yes. Yes, absolutely. Tip-top.

It's the ring, isn't it?

[WEDDING MARCH PLAYS]

Please be seated.

wilt thou have this woman

and wilt thou have this man

to be thy wedded husband,

and to live together

according to God's Law

in the holy state of matrimony?

Will thou love him, comfort him,

honour and keep him

in sickness and in health,

and forsaking all others,

keep thee only unto him

for as long as ye both shall live?

- I will.

- Excellent.

Now, the ring.

- The ring?

- Tris?

Oh, the ring?

You want the ring?

At this point in the service,

that is the tradition.

- But how do we feel about tradition in these modern

- Tris

It's all right.

I pocketed it before

we went out last night for safe

My other jacket.

Perhaps this might suffice?

Perfect.

Absolutely perfect.

Shall we proceed?

Repeat after me.

I, James Alfred Herriot

I, James Alfred Herriot,

- take thee

- Take thee, Helen Rosemary Alderson,

to have and to hold from this day

forward, for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer.

In sickness and in health.

To love and to cherish

till death us do part.

According to God's Holy Law.

And thereto, I give thee my troth.

- I memorised it.

- Of course you did.

Now, the bride.

Repeat after me.

I, Helen Rosemary Alderson

I, Helen Rosemary Alderson,

take thee, James Alfred Herriot,

to have and to hold

from this day forward,

for better, for worse,

for richer, for poorer,

in sickness and in health.

To love and to cherish

till death us do part

according to God's Holy Law,

and thereto,

I give thee my troth.

I didn't want you showing me up.

You may now

kiss the bride.

[CHEERING]

- James, I was just telling Tristan

- Leave the man be.

Have fun.

- You take them.

- Don't look at me.

Bye! Bye!

Come on.

Go all right with Henry's cow?

She was in terrible pain.

It was the best thing.

It doesn't make it any easier.

James felt he couldn't give up.

His sense of duty'll be

the death of one of these days.

How was it today?

No drama or last-minute wobbles?

No, none.

- You?

- No.

Stop the car.

Pull up over here.

You know this is the furthest

I have ever been from home?

James, look at this.

Oh, James, is that you?

- How was it? Good trip?

- Yes!

Hello. Has he seen it yet? The sign.

Why is that thing

always out of its cage?

- I did notice the sign, but why?

- Name above the door.

Wedding present.

Well, not a present.

You've deserved it.

Earned it.

Commitment to the cause and what-not.

Sorry. Deserved what?

- I - He's making you partner.

- Mrs. Hall, I was really rather hoping to tell him that myself.

Partnership? In the practice?

A 50-50 split?

Well, plenty of time

to iron out the details.

Thank you, Siegfried. Really.

- Yes, thank you.

- Oh, good God, no need to get all dewy-eyed about it.

Oh, the boy's happy. Leave him be.

See you again soon.

You're back. How was it?

I want to hear all about it. Let me just

get changed and we'll go to the Drovers.

Actually, we thought we might go and get

settled in the bedsit, didn't we, James?

We did? Oh, right, we did.

We did.

Oh, James, you'll find another little

wedding present installed in your

[GIGGLING]

new home.

[PHONE RINGS]

At least it'll save traipsing

all the way downstairs.

We'll find somewhere new. I promise.

Shush. James, it's perfect.

As long as we're here together,

it'll be perfect.

[PHONE RINGS]

Someone else will get it.

Oh, for goodness sake!

Darrowby 2297.