01x01 - Episode #1.1

[bunniefuu]

Uh... please excuse these constant
stupid stories, by which I mean my own...

In the beginning of this
year, a lot of things happened.

I became an apprentice under Master Hayashiatei Donbei,
who has graciously given me the name, Kotora (young tiger).

However, I have one more identity
that I'm not quite as proud of.

I am what you would call a yakuza in
a group called the Shinjuku Ryuseikai.

I've been working for them for about 10 years now.

In the rakugo world, I would probably be considered a main
attraction. (rakugo = traditional comedic storytellers)

In other words, I'm a jester
by day and a gangster by night.

My brothers call me the Jekyll
and Hyde of the rakugo world.

This is the teacher for my dark side,
the head of the Shinjuku Ryuseikai circle.

Until he gets back the 4 million yen that he lent his golfing friend, I cannot turn over a new leaf.

And that golfing friend of his...
is this guy.

So this is just another scheme after all isn't it?

What is?

Er, well, I'm sorry... but I thought your
boss just sent you here to harass me.

If you agree to teach me rakugo, I will
pay you a hundred thousand yen per story.

So are you saying that I will
pay my debt back with that money?

Yeah, got a problem with that?

Well, it's been 2 months already, but uhh... you
haven't been able to memorize a whole story yet...

Well, maybe you're just bad at teaching.

W-w-what?

Well in baseball, just because you're a star player doesn't
automatically mean you'll be a famous coach, right?

So, you're probably just a bad teacher.

And I think that's why your son left, too.

Excuse me. This thing here...

Ooh the Tiger and Urahara Dragon?
You can only get these here!

Do you have one like this that's not in multi-color?

Huh?!

And preferably one that's not mesh.

Well if it wasn't multi-color and made out of mesh,
it would be just a regular t-shirt now wouldn't it?!

Boss!

What?!

I went to pay for the store's rent, but all we had in the bank was 315 yen.

Mnggh

Don't mnggh me! I was going to pay on your behalf
but I haven't been paid for 3 months either...

Yeah, I know...

You throw out 4 million yen just for your
son's amusement. Isn't that stupid?!

Why doesn't he just take over the family business?!
Everything would fall into place!

Yea...

Do you really understand? All we
sold yesterday was one stupid lighter!

Can't you get someone else to design the clothes?

You need to focus on raising our sales.

Yea yea, you're right, you're right.

Make him sell that stupid store with those stupid
clothes. Then you could just pay off all your debts!

Ughh! Would you freaken shut up
about money already, you ugly cow!!

If you want money so much, go
get a job as a hostess or a whore!

It's not like you have a
boyfriend anyway, right?!

I am perfectly aware of this without you having to lecture me!
Who do you think you are, forcing your way into my house?

Saying whatever you please! Yeah,
so what if my son's a rakugo genius?

No matter how hard a punk like you
tried, you'd never get to his level.

Why don't YOU go up there on stage
and try to make the audience laugh?!

So, that's how I got yelled at...

And now I'm sitting before you like this.

Well, I'd like to begin my story...

Tiger and Dragon!

Has everyone brought their omiyage?
(omiyage = souvenir/gift)

Yeees!

Does anyone need to use the restroom?

We're fine!

Oh?

Hello!

Weren't you on this tour last Saturday, too?
...and Sunday?

Yes! I love this tour! Kachioagibashi is so much fun,
and Nihonbashi and Mitsukoshi are totally awesome!

Ma'am, we are leaving now!

Hey, shape up you old hag! Can't
you listen to what our guide says??!

I'll k*ll ya!

Nobody's k*lling anyone.

Alright everybody, let's go!

Okay!!

"Wow, look at all these nice names! Why
not use all of them?" the parents said...

and named their baby with all of
the names that the priest suggested.

"Hey! Jugemu Jugemu Gokou no Surikizu..."

It ain't Surikizu, it's Surikire!

Oh right... Surikire... "Hey! Jugemu Jugemu Gokou
no Surikire, Kaijari Suigyo no Cream Stew..."

What the hell is "Cream Stew"?!

Hey, shaddup over there,
you'll make me lose my place.

"Kaijari Suigyo no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu
Furaimatsu, Ku Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro,

Yaburakoji no Suigyomatsu Unraimatsu Furaimatsu..." huh?

"Ku Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Tokoro, Yaburakoji no Suigyomatsu
Unraimatsu Furaimatsu, Ku Neru Tokoro ni Sumu Toko..." huh?

He's stuck in a loop.

This is so irritating! It's
Ponpoko Na no Ponpoko Pii!

No it's not, it's
Ponpoko Pii no Ponpoko Na!

How many times do you think I've heard this
story?! It's Ponpoko Na no Ponpoko Pii!

Who the hell cares?!

We do!!

Jugemu Jugemu Gokou no Surikire, Kaijari Suigyo no Cream Stew...

That's wrong!

Well...

One more time.

Jugemu Jugemu Gokou no Surikizu...

No!

Good work everyone!

Who the heck are you??

He's my little bro. You idiot, I keep telling you
that you don't have to come and get me all the time.

Respectable people live here!

It's fine! I've known him since he was thiiis big! So, what grade are you in now?

What grade?

I'm in the 4th grade now!
Oh, I never told you..?

You never told me...! You...!

You go to college?

Yes! I'm in the department of Commercial Science! Pops
told me that even yakuzas should have college degrees.

Your pops?

Something's strange about Ginjiro...

What?

Recently, he's been leaving early in the morning, and then doesn't
come home until 7 or 8 at night, and brings back lots of omiyage.

Stuff like kaminari okoshi, and ningyo yaki...

That sounds pretty normal to me...

Idiot! Young master is the heir to the Shinjuku
Ryoseikai! He can only have a special kind of woman.

Woman?

A mistress, Yamazaki! Don't take your eyes off the boy! That
kid's just like me and puts his all into a woman he loves.

He might tattoo his girl's name on his body, or
even think of committing double su1c1de with her!

Really?

I have a huge tattoo of a girl's name
on my body and... well, enough about me.

You better keep your eyes on him, Tora!
You're in charge of his "education."

Sneak in a question or two about it with him.

So, do you guys make lots of
money off this rakugo thing?

What?

Make money??

Well, so like how many tens of
thousands of yen do you make a day?

Tens of thousands?!

Opening performers have a set salary. 1,000 yen for the
first year, 1,200 the 2nd year, and on the 3rd year...

That's it??! How do you make a
living off just 1,000 yen a day??

Well, they supply us with food...

It's hardest on us in the 2nd rank. It's not like we
get lessons everyday like the opening performers do...

I wouldn't survive if I
didn't have my part-time job...

Part-time job?! You have another job??

Well, I don't like making
television appearances...

You would never make it on
tv with that face anyway!

Mother... let's watch tv!
He's gonna be on tv!

Well, the rakugo world doesn't
revolve around money, alright?

You share the same pot of rice with your brothers,
and train with them, and look at all the fun we have!

Right, mother??

She ain't your mother!

I used to idolize the "Lone Wolf" aspect of you.

What?

Now you're not cool anymore. You're
not a wolf now, you're more like a...

Pigeon!

A pigeon that gets excited over
a 100-yen bag of bird seeds!

Did you hear that?? He called us
pigeons! Doesn't anyone have a come back?!

Hey! Well, pigeons are the symbol of peace!

Nevermind already! Let's watch tv.

It's hot! I can't do it!!

The key is to not jump into the water immediately, so
you can convey how hot it is to the viewers at home.

Wow! I can really learn from this!

Watch watch!

Hey! Mom, what are you...

Ohh, Young Master...hello!
Kotora?

Whaddya want?

Hey, handsome! Is that the
way to talk to your teacher?

I found a story that would be just perfect for you.

Oh! What is it??

Um, well, it's a story called
"Shibahama," and it's...

a heart-warming story about a couple
that's up to their neck in debts...

and well, debts are
your specialty, right?

It'll never work!

What?

Even I haven't had any lessons yet!!

Hey, I could teach you Shibahama!
See... watch!

Good evening, it's Shibahama!

How did you like that?!

At any rate, I'll be telling the
story tomorrow, so take good notes.

Shibahama...

Hey ma'am, this doesn't even cover
interest. You understand, don't you?

Right... and we're interested
in more than interest...

Well, if your husband's not gonna work,
I guess it's all up to you then, huh?

Right, you're not trying to husband
your husband's money from us, are you?

Anyway, we can't wait a day longer, so borrow
from you parents or relatives or whoever...

Oh, maybe your parents could parent some money for
ya... it would be "relatively" simple...! Get it??

Shaddup already!

When you're doing your yakuza duties,
just concentrate on being a yakuza!

And your jokes are just lame.

What's that supposed to mean? Idiot!

Even yakuza have to have a sense of
humor nowadays. Don't you agree, ma'am?

If we're gonna take your money anyway,
wouldn't you rather it be enjoyable?

Well, either way... this
is all I can give you today.

You think this is a joke?!!

Hey Ginjiro.

What?

Y-y-you g-g-got a-a-a
g-g-girlfriend right now or anything?

Well, there is a girl that I like.

W-w-who?

She's a tour guide.

O-ooh. D-d-does she k-k-know h-h-how you
f-f-feel, er d-d-does she l-l-like you b-b-back?

Bro.

What?

What's with this conversation?
I'm really uncomfortable right now.

What do you mean, idiot?! It's my d-d-d-duty as
your older brother to know more about you.

If we continue this topic any longer,
I'm going to think that you're gay!

Whaaat?!

It was just a joke.

I thought I told you that I
don't have a sense of humor!

Alright alright! That's dangerous!!

Don't worry about it! Listen to me!!

Welcome!

So here we are again today...

It is often said that people born and
raised in Edo (Edokko) never have unneccasary money.

Oh! He's going to tell Shibahama today!

They have to use all the money
they have within a single day.

Well the recent frauds that have been
going around would never work on an Edokko.

It would be like, "Hello... it's me! It's me!!"

"Oh! Who are you? This is Edokko speaking..."

"Er, well, it's me!"

"Oh, it's ME! Ok, what's up?"

"Well, I was in a little accident,
and I desperately need money...

Could you please transfer some to my account?"

"Man, you have such bad timing! You shoulda called last night
when I had 5 million yen after winning at the horse races!"

"It's too late already. Of course I don't
have the money anymore! Ask someone else!"

You don't know whether they're good
with their money or just plain stupid!

That's a good one...

Well, I shall now tell you a story of when
this city of Tokyo was once known as Edo.

There was a town called Shiba, and a
fisherman named Uokuma used to work there.

He knew a lot about fish, and he was good at
what he did, but he had just one flaw...

He loved to drink sake.

As soon as he drinks, he just throws his
business to the side and forgets about it.

He just says "who cares about
my business anymore..."

And so the fish in his bucket are like that too...

So his wife goes,
"hey...hey you!"

"Hey, won't you please wake up?"
Hey!

Oh, sorry, master...
What time is it?

Oh my... are you still dreaming?

What are you looking at me like that for? Have
you forgotten what your own wife looks like?

You're... my wife??

How terrible of you!

Are you still drunk from last night?

Won't you please wake up? You promised
that you would go to work today!

Work.. ?

Well, I haven't opened shop for about 20
days now, I don't think we can anymore.

What are you talking about, dear? How
long do you think I've been your wife?

I have everything prepared already.

Oh really... well maybe my kitchen Kn*fe has...

It hasn't rusted yet! I
just sharpened it myself!

I think I need new straw sandals!

I have brought them out already!

Oh... well... fine!

Hey, Taka! It's still pitch black out!

So?! The sun will be out by the
time you get to work! Please go!

"Alright I will! You demon wife!"
he said as he finally set out.

Look outside! Check if
anyone followed me home!

What happened dear, were you in a fight?

You're the most scatterbrained woman in the world!
I told you it was still too early in the morning!

What's wrong with you?
Have you gone crazy??

Bow down to THIS before you talk!

It's a wallet!

Once I got to town, every
single vendor was closed.

I was pissed, so I was gonna come straight home to kick your
ass, but I figured you would just kick me out of the house.

I decided to take a smoke break
instead, but I started to fall sleep.

So, I went to wash my face in the
ocean to wake myself up, and...

Eighteen... nineteen...

Enough already! It's 50 ryo!

50 ryo?!

I feel like luck's on my side now! The gods felt sorry
for poor Kumagoro and this is how they're helping me out!

But honey...

Get me some sake! Hurry and bring my sake!!

And so Kuma gets drunk and passes out, and then he wakes
up! And then his wife lies! And.. and... the wallet...

Dude! I already know this story. You still
really do suck at telling stories, don't you?

What?

It just doesn't sound touching when you tell it.

So, you're saying you can do it then?

No! I don't know that story.

Then shut up and freakin
listen, you little sh*t!

Oh Kuma-san, won't you
please wake-up, Kuma-san!!

Are you okay, Ryuji?

Shut up!

How long do you plan on sleeping,
honey? The sun's up already!

Won't you please hurry up and go to work??

Work?! Don't be stupid! Why would
I go to work if I just found 50 ryo!

50 ryo??

Don't play dumb! Whoa! You're my wife?! You
have such a tiny face! How tall are you??

Are you still drunk? You seemed awfully cheerful last
night. Who's going to pay for this sake and food?

Don't make me repeat myself! I showed you that
wallet I picked up in the morning, didn't I?

There was 50 ryo in there!

I don't know what you're talking about.

No matter how cute you may
be, I will still kick your ass!

I told you I don't know what
the hell you're talking about!

Where is it?? Where did it
go?? Where's the damn 50 ryo?!!

It must have been a dream.

A dream?

I'm disgusted. You don't even work, but
all you think about is sake and money.

You must've dreamt about it!

So... are you saying that I dreamt that I found
the wallet and that in reality, I just drank sake?

That's exactly what happened!

What a cruel dream...

Well, you promised the gods that you would stop drinking,
but that's all you do! They must be punishing you!

Please forgive me! From this day forth, I
promise to never drink a sip of sake again.

I'll work my hardest starting tomorrow!

Won't you please take care of
today's bill for me? Please!

It's a promise then!

Yes! No matter what happens, I'll never drink!

And from that day on, he quit the drinking that
he loved so much and put his heart into working.

Uh... the story's not done yet.

Yeah yeah, and then two or three years later,
or on New Years Eve or Day or something...

You shut up!

Damn... you're too good! I
never knew you had such a talent!

You could totally live off of this!

Actually, you'd probably make even more
money off of this than on your stupid store!

Oh! sh*t, I have to get back to the store...

Wait! Finish the story! You have
a part-timer working there right?

I do, but thing is...
uhh... it's nothing...

Don't stop in the middle of the story!

It's no fun to tell the same
story over and over again!

You jump in at random times and laugh
your ass off at the weirdest places!

Sorry, I'll keep quiet.

Her name's Risa, but he hasn't
paid her in like 3 months.

It's MY story!

Would you freaken shut up about money already, you ugly cow!!
If you want money so much, go get a job as a hostess or whore!

It's not like you have a boyfriend, right?!!

I regretted it the moment
it came out of my mouth.

She was depressed after being dumped by her
boyfriend, so I tried to make it better by saying...

In that case, I'll ask for you...

That doesn't make it better at all.

Well, I couldn't think
of anything else to say!

What are you doing?

Hey! Stop that!

Let go!

Ow!! What the hell do you think
you're doing?! You ugly cow!!

Stop calling me an ugly cow!! I feel like
k*lling you every single time you do it!

It may be just a joke to you,
but it makes me want to k*ll you!!

Whaat?

She was freakin counting every
single time I called her that!

She was logging it in her little notebook!!

She surprisingly takes those
kinds of things really seriously.

Thank you for letting me work for you.
Please send my paycheck to my account.

If you don't pay me by the
end of the month, I'll sue you!

Uggh! Stupid ass!!

Die!!!

You shouldn't call her an ugly
cow. She's pretty cute actually.

I would never say that to her
face if she really was one.

She's like a little sister
to me, I do it out of love.

Oh yeah, I get it. It's kinda
like calling your d*ck your "son."

Geez, can't you think of a better analogy?

What's the big deal?! She's an adult, right?

I bet she's already found
a good job somewhere.

Nah, I doubt that. Nope.

Based on past experiences...
she must've found another guy.

A guy?

It's not the first time I haven't paid her,
but she would work, even if she did complain.

But once she has a boyfriend,
it all goes downhill from there.

She doesn't show up for work without even calling in, she
steals cash from the register, and then she eventually quits.

Eventually, she gets dumped and comes back.

She's not a bad kid...

It's just that when she finds a boyfriend,
she loses sight of what's really important.

And she's got the absolute worst taste in men.

A poor male host who already has
a kid, an abusive self-taught-DJ...

And like the student who
was totally into SM!

Or the other student that
was totally into SM, too!

No matter how much I tell her that
they're creeps, she just won't listen!

Ugh... I knew it!

It's gotta be a guy. If it wasn't, she wouldn't
get so pissed over something like not being paid.

Actually, it's your fault for not paying her!

Mmm...

What do you mean, Mmm?

Toraji-san, won't you please sneak
a question or two about it with her?

She's actually a really good
person at heart! I'm really worried!

Then why don't you pay her?

I keep telling you! That's impossible.

Okay? I'm going to call her right now.

If you're that worried about her,
why don't you ask her youself?

I would feel uncomfortable!
I haven't paid her in awhile!

I just can't, okay!? I have never in my life succeeded
in subtly asking someone about something important.

Bro!

Whatcha doing here?

Oh... well...

Yo.

So you sell clothes, huh?

Oh yeah, you're 2 years
younger than me, right?

I go to college. My pops says that even
yakuza should graduate from college.

Can you make a living doing this?

What do you mean?

Well, I guess you'd make
more money than a rakugoka...

Do your best and pay off
that debt to my dad, alright?

Hey Ginjiro, buy something.

What...? There's nothing
here that I really want...

Who the hell cares?! Buy something!

This sucks... I guess
I'll buy something then.

You don't have to force yourself.

How much is all this?

I freakin told you to forget about it!

I wouldn't want someone as lame
as you wearing my clothes anyway.

The hell you say?!

Hello?

I don't think I can make it.

What, Jun-kun? What happened?

I just took some sleeping pills.

I totally wrecked my friend's car, and I need
200 thousand yen to fix it. I wanna die...

You can't die over something like that!

Then bring me the money.

What? But I'm...

Just take some money from the
register like you did before.

Nah, I'm just kiddin. It's just that you're the
only one I could depend on at a time like this.

3 years since Kuma stopped drinking, he worked
hard, so he got some regular customers and...

On the year when he finally
managed to pay back all his debts...

Oh yeah, New Years Eve... uhh...

He went around visiting customers... and...

Stopped at a bath house....

I think it would be faster
if you just read the book...

Anyway, what happens is that his wife confesses
that she hid the wallet that Kuma found 3 years ago.

Boss? You there?

Why am I not surprised...

Is this for real??

Dear, does this wallet look familiar?

Yeah, it sure does.

It's the wallet that you found 3 years ago.

I thought that was a dream!

I tricked you and told you it was just a dream.

Feel free to kick or hit
me and do as you please.

Don't be silly! Me hit
you? It'll break my hand!

Uh, bro... have you seen my wallet?

No!

I had it when I was going to
buy the clothes at Urahara...

Shut up... Shut up!
I'm just getting to the good part...

See, you made me lose my place.

I think we've had enough...

What?

I'm going to go look for it.

What??

Basically, the wife tricked her husband to make
him quit drinking and become a hard worker, right?

Exactly.

It's definitely a good story, but in reality...

Things aren't quite that simple.

Why not?

My husband's a salaryman. It's not like
he has any special skills like a fisherman.

No matter how much he wants to work, we
can't prevent the company from going bankrupt.

Plus, he has to worry about his
pride and how society views him.

So, it's not like he can get just any old job...

I can't even imagine where
I'll be 3 years from now...

So in other words, I realized that people in
modern society just can't relate to this story.

Teach me another one.

Teach you another story...?

Well, it's not that easy...

There's nothing to worry about.

As long as you have the skills,
even classics can be enjoyable.

Although it doesn't sound very
convincing coming from you...

Shut up, 4-eyes!

What's with that comic strip
salaryman face of yours?

Hey Kotora, what's your favorite movie?

"The King of Glares"

Oh.. anything else?

"Home Alone"

Oh wow, I wasn't expecting that one.

Anyway, that's a fictional story, right?

Classical rakugo stories
are ficitional as well.

When you were a kid, you've never been att*cked by
some scary men while you were alone at home, right?

Yea I have.

Oh, you have...

Someone was about to run out without paying back
his debts, so I went and busted into their home.

But there was only a little kid there...

Oh, YOU were the scary man to att*ck...

Well, it's non-fiction after all.

What shall we do, master?

Hey Kotora, after hearing my rendition
of Shimahama, how did you feel?

I cried, laughed and was touched.

What a short and quick reflection.
Just like prime-minister, Koizumi!

What part of that story tugged
at your heart strings the most?

Uh... maybe the part where he calls her a Daimyo Wife?
(Daimyo = Noble/Lordly)

Alright. Throw away the rest.

Throw it away??

You don't have the ability to memorize
and tell the entire story, yet.

So instead of straining yourself, put everything
you've got into that one touching part.

That way, no matter who it is,
the listener will understand.

Master, you'd make a great coach.

Well, let's get started then.

You were absolutely right!

No matter how much 50 ryo is,
I could use it up in a flash!

Thank you for tricking me.

Thanks to you, I can now
spend a debt-free New Years.

Thank you so much.
You're a Daimyo of a wife.

You don't need to bow your head to me.

Here, have a drink.

Hey, I think he's actually
gonna be able to finish it today.

Yea!

No! I promised I wouldn't!

It's alright now. You're no longer a
man who would be controlled by alcohol.

Who the hell's phone is that?!

It's the best part!

Turn the damned thing off!

He's up here telling such a great story...

Hello?

He's answering it?!

Where the hell are you?!
Didn't I tell you to meet us at 4:30?!

Sorry, I'm in the middle of a performance...
Does it have to be right now?

Of course it does!!

I keep tellin ya that I feel
uncomfortable if it's just the two of us!

The restaraunt's not even open!

Aw. I got disconnected.

Idiot...

Oh, sorry bout that. I'll put it on silence next time.

So where was I...?

Are you suuure I can have a drink?

This is ridiculous!

No... I can't! I really shouldn't...

Oh, why not??

Why would someone turn in a wallet here
in Asakusa if you dropped it in Harajuku?

I said that I MIGHT have dropped it in Harajuku!

I may have dropped it in
Asakusa for all I know!

I have such bad taste in men!

Well, yeah we already knew that.

If I feel a special vibe, I'd fall for
him whether he's an old man or even a kid!

So... what about me??

My wife just ran out on me,
and I'm currently single!

I always think that I can't hold my self back or
that I have to be clingy when I'm in a relationship.

I love clingy girls!

Can't you be more sensitive?!

She's ignoring you to be nice!

So you like the sex too, huh?

Whaat?! There's someone
that's even more insensitive!

Yeah... well, without it I feel insecure.

I love youuu!

Who the hell asked you?!

You're still young, so why
cling to one guy so early?

Isn't there anything else
that you love besides men?

Drinking!

Yea... you've been drinkin
a lot since we got here.

Drinking, guys, text messaging, karaoke, the
Untouchables, milk pudding....

Oh yeah... and clothes.

Well, if you love clothes, why can't
you think of your clothes as a boyfriend?

Whaaaat?

Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for...

Well, she has a point... especially
with the clothes that you make.

Shut up! You shut up already!

Okay, if a guy really loves you, he would
never do anything to interfere with your life.

He would never tell you to quit
your job or to take days off, right?

You think so?

They're just taking advantage
of you! They're using you!

Just wake up and smell the coffee already!
Find a normal guy... it shouldn't be that hard!

Yeah... I know...

Here, drink up. As long as you keep
waiting, the perfect guy will appear.

A kind, rich, and understanding guy.

You are SO right! I just need to live my
life normally and I'll be able to meet him!

The perfect guy that understands me, has a
kind heart, has money, and is totally hot!

I never said anything about him being hot...

You opened my eyes! Boss, you
seem like such an adult today!

Even though a real adult
would give you a paycheck...

Shut up! I'll pay her eventually!

Seriously! This guy's so
tight with money! So 'tupid!

Alright...!

Sorry for making you come with me.

Don't worry about it.
Everything turned out to be okay.

Let's make a toast. Cheers!

Oh, I've been meaning to ask you...

What?

Why don't you do rakugo?

Give me a break...

I'm not saying this cause I'm drunk. You told
Shimahama so well last time, it gave me goosebumps.

It seemed fresh and the tempo was nice
and fast. It'll be a waste of talent.

Oh hey... well if it isn't Kotatsu...?

Hey! Whaddya guys doing?!

Drinking without paying!

Did my old man ask you to do this?

Hey!

Well, if I go back home, my old
man'll be able to pay off the debt.

And then you could quit being a yakuza.

That's not what I meant...

Sorry, but I ain't like your lil bro
who listens to his father so obediently.

Sorry.

Are you alright?

Yes.

Can I help you with something?

Oh, I found a wallet.

What??

What??

Can I see it real quick?

Officer, this is my wallet!!

Really?

I'm serious! Thanks SO much! I would
have been in deep sh*t without this!

Thanks so much!!!

Do you enjoy selling clothes?

Of course! I'm doing it because I want to.

Oh, I see. That's good, then.

What is it? Why don't you just say it.

Well, you're always so irritable at the store. I thought maybe you're just running away from rakugo.

From rakugo... or maybe your father.

But then again, I might be wrong...

Is it that great to do
something that you truly love?

What?

If you start hating the thing that you were once
passionate about, you just gotta find something new.

Actually, I should be the one asking
YOU if you really like doing rakugo.

I do it cause I enjoy it.

I don't believe you.

I think you just stumbled on rakugo at a time when you were tired of being a yakuza.

It's all so easy for you...

If you can't make it in the rakugo business,
you just gotta go back to being a yakuza.

It ain't like you're related
to your teacher or boss.

Well, it's different for me.

Unlike you, I ain't doing
things in a half-ass way.

If I'm gonna go back, I have to
be ready to put my all into it.

To be frank, a punk ass yakuza
like you'll never make it as a...

What the hell do you
know about my life?!

Pay for the damages! Pay for the damages!!

This isn't enough!!!

Oh my! Father farted!!

That wasn't me, it was Donta.

Well, let's see now...

No, ma! We all eat the same things.
You could never tell the difference!

What a great family!
Isn't this so much fun??

Well, now it's my turn!

Why do you guys always have to get
along so much? Where's Kotora-san?

Oh, I thought he was with you. He hasn't
been back since he went to go see you.

Oh.

Wait, stupid!

What's your problem,
you washed-up comedian?

Fix it. This is just as
much my house as it is yours.

I'm not telling you this as a washed-up
comedian but as the eldest brother.

Put this back together within 5 seconds!

5, 4, 3...

What the hell do you think you're doing?!

Ouch! The Jenga!!

Hey, did something happen
between you and Kotora?

None of your business.

It is plenty of my business. He's one of my
precious pupils. I won't let you do anything to him.

That man has gone through so much
hardship in his life, unlike you!

He was only 12 when he saw his
parents die right in front of him!

It was a su1c1de because of debts!

It was so traumatic that he's
forgotten how to smile since then.

When he had no place to go, no parents or money,
Shinjuku Ryuuseikai took him under their wing.

It's not like he became a
yakuza because he wanted to.

That's the only choice he had!!

Well, that guy has listened to
my stories and cracked a smile!

He laughed and... owwww!

Jenga? Jenga?

He bid farewell to his g*ng's
boss, who's was his savior.

And came here asking to be my apprentice.

I turned him down at first because
it seemed like too much trouble.

I know I'm not a good person, but
he wouldn't take no for an answer.

If that's not determination,
I don't know what is.

He's totally different from the likes of you!

He's not some half-baked punk!

He's such a lonely man.

You left this house to be on your own,
but you still come back sometimes...

Acting all big, and then hurting
others without even realizing it...

If you keep this up, in the end
you'll be ignored by everyone.

The end to a lonely man's
life is his lonely death.

How could you...

What?

How could you say all that to your real son?!

A real son would never do anything
like that to his real father!!

Stop!

You're making mother cry!

Oh no! I'm so sorry!

I keep telling you not
to make Sayuri-chan cry!!

It wasn't me!

Who made her cry?!

Oh, oops, sorry... I didn't mean to...

Oh dear!

Oh excuse me!

Yay, boss!! I found him!!

Oh really?

He's so hot and sparkly and awesome!

Oh that's great.

I owe it all to you!!

Really... oh, what?

Hey, weren't you listening?

You haven't said anything coherent!

I'm gonna quit.

What?!

I found that rich, hot guy!

He's awesome, although he's
a tad on the rebellious side

He wears a jacket with a tiger
and dragon embroided on the back.

Take it easy! Wait, what kind of jacket?!

What the hell are we going to do??

What happened?

What do you mean what happened?!

This is terrible!

Tora! I thought I told
you to keep an eye on him!

Hey, what the hell did you do?

The boss's predictions came true...

You stupid...!

What? The tour guide you
were talking about...?

Ehhhh?!

They are all my boyfriends...

Woman, who do you think you are, getting
all these guys to get tattoos for you!?

Alright, to your right is
the Fuujin, to the left is...

Mr. Storyteller?

Shut up and come with me!

I just couldn't forget my
life in Tokyo, after all.

I'm ashamed to admit that
I just had to come back.

My husband gets nervous when I'm at home, and
I didn't want to go back working at bars...

Because it would drive men crazy again.

I figured that young men
would never ride a tour bus...

And I'm already accustomed to handling
the elderly after taking care of grandma...

I don't give a sh*t about how you became a tour guide.

How the hell did you guys meet?

On the tour bus!

Yeah, the tour bus!

Step outside for a second.

What?

I'm so glad that I didn't keep that wallet.

God must have rewarded me for it.
He must have felt so sorry for me.

Did you get his number?

No, but I gave him my e-mail address.

Did he e-mail you yet?

Not yet.

Are you sure you
weren't... dreaming this?

Huh?

I'm telling you that it's all a
dream, and you should get over it.

Whaat? But she's right there!

You were so drunk last night, and we were talking
about guys, so I bet you had a dream like that...

Don't be stupid! I shook his hand!

I'm telling you! It was all a dream!

What about the wallet?
I found it right here!

You must have turned it in to the police,
but then dreamt up the guy in the jacket.

No way!

Then do you remember how
you got home from there?

Um..?

See! I told you it was all a dream!

That's what you get for
thinking about guys all the time!

C'mon get back to work! Put
all these lame clothes out.

She may be a jewel, but because of that,
there're a whole lot of other guys after her...

Just like pigeons getting
excited over bird feed.

You're just one of those pigeons.

Bro...

I know 5 other guys that have that
same tattoo that you do, actually 6.

You wanna be a pigeon, huh, Ginjiro?

You ain't like me.

You're the important heir
to the Shinjuku Ryuseikai.

I'm telling you this as your older bro. Don't be some guy that gets bossed around by a woman.

Become a man that that bosses around women.

Got that?

Got it.

Alright.

Where'd Gin-chan go?

I made him leave.

Sorry, but I ain't letting some
mysterious woman like you become my sis.

What do you mean?

He's a yakuza, and the future
leader of our group, at that.

I'm an underling for them
and his "educator." Got that?

Please don't ever see him again.

Are you restraining me?

Restraining..?

I don't really care, actually. So,
when's the next time you'll see me again?

Me??

Yes, you. When?

Whaddya mean when? This has
nothing to do with our discussion.

Then what's your cell number?

What's up with you?

What is it?? Tell me!

Tiger, Tiger, Jirettaiga!
(jirettaiga = irritated)

Here's a comedic story for you...

Oh, but before I start, please
turn off your cell phones.

We don't wanna hear that from YOU!

There was once a young shop keeper
called Ryu. Do you all remember him?

The stupid guy that engraved
some vixen's name into his skin.

Well, there was a girl named
Risa who worked at his shop.

She's a good girl at heart, but just a tad
prone to falling in love at the drop of a hat.

She gets suckered in by anyone she
finds attractive, be it old man or baby.

Well, she coincidentally meets a yakuza named Ginjiro,

an old aquaintance of Ryu, whom he doesn't get along with.

Ryu figured that Risa would forget all about work again,

so he convinced her that it was all just a bad dream...

I think you were right, Boss.

It was all a dream, wasn't it?

I've decided to believe that.
I'll stay away from men for awhile.

Gotta get back to work!

Where should I put this up, Boss?

Over there.

Okay! Oh, Boss, is this tomorrow's
inventory? I'll take care of it.

Okay.

Hello! Let me know if you find anything
you like. We have dressing rooms.

She was working so hard now
that Ryu started feeling bad...

Oh, Boss...

Shut up with the "boss this, boss that" already!

What are you doing, Boss?

Nevermind! Just watch
the shop while I'm gone!

So, Ryu decided to go straight
to Ginjiro to negotiate.

You said you would buy all this, right?

Yea, I did.

You said that you wanted them real
bad and that you'd buy them, all right??

I never said that much!

Hey... aren't you Donbei's son?

Buy it all! I'll give it all to
you for 100 thousand yen. Please?

Why don't you buy some too?

I don't want any of these lame clothes!

I don't know what happened between you and my
son, but your old man owes me 400 million yen!

Why the hell would I buy this?!

My father has nothing to do with this!
I'm talking to your son right now.

That...

What?

Oh, this? I just thought it would be cool...

Oh... I see.

Later.

Wait, what about the money?

Oh yeah. I want you to bring
it over to the store later.

Why?

There's an envelope inside the bag.
Put it in that and bring it over.

Without a clue of what was going on, Ginjiro brought
the envelope with the 100 thousand yen to the shop.

"Excuse me!"

Welcome!

Oh, you work here?

Um, the owner of this store made me buy a whole
bunch of clothes yesterday, so here's the money.

[Two months worth of pay]

I don't get it at all...

I'll be waiting for an e-mail from
you! I can wait for however long.

It's true. I'm used to
being controlled by men.

Oops... what am I saying?

Thank you for your purchase!

Can you give me your e-mail address again?

See...You were drunk last time,
weren't you? I couldn't read it at all.

Okay!

A woman that wants to be controlled by a
man, and a man that wants to control a woman.

The criteria couldn't fit any better!

But to hire such a fine young lady without
even a raise would be a punishable deed...

So Ryu even made the choice of
presenting her with a big break...

Order anything you like!
It's my treat tonight.

Um, Risa, my friend owns a shop in Shibuya...

It's an import good store and
they're shorthanded on people...

I won't quit. I want to work
at Dragon Soda for a bit longer.

I love clothes, after all.

Can I get a shochyu?

Sorry, I gotta run a few errands.
Stay and drink all you like.

Whaaat?

Yea, there's a particular
opening act that I can't miss.

I'm sorry.

For what?

For a lot of things. I have to apologize
before I get b*at up by you again.

Me? Hit you, boss? Don't be
silly! It would break my hand!

After all, I owe it to you
for hooking me up with Gin-gin.

And if you hadn't tricked me, then
I would have been clingy again.

I would have scared Gin-gin away.

You're a Daimyo Boss!

Thank you for tricking me!

No matter how hot Gin-gin may be, it would
all go down the drain if he hated me.

I'm going to treasure him, so
this time, he won't get away...

I mean, I'm going to have him treasure me.

Risa...

...you call him Gin-gin?

Yup, I call him Gin-gin!

Okay! Let's drink!

Actually, I won't drink after all.

Why?

I wouldn't want it to
become a dream again.

Good job, you Daimyo Yakuza!!

Hey there newbie, you
missed a pigeon feather.

Hey!

I've been working here since last
week through Kotora's introduction.

Really?! Well, do your best, and
let's pay back that debt of yours!

Wait! Gin-gin!! Wait for me!

You're too slow!

Here's your meat sauce spaghetti!

Well, Kotora, you messed up most of the original
form of "Shibahama," but the audience sure liked it.

So, I think you did a good job.

Thank you, sir. Well, here's
this month's lesson fee.

Alright. Okay, it's all here.

Thank you so much, I will be
repaying this much, this month...

Hey! Can't you at least
put it in an envelope?!

Yes sir, I'll remember
to prepare one next time.

Okay.

I'm sorry. I'll leave it right here.

Well, Kotora, that shop keeper named
Ryu that came up in your story...

That ain't any of your damn concern!

You're still in debt-collecter mode?!

I heard that your "Shibahama"
went well. Risa told me.

Yeah, I guess you could say so...

I'm happy for you.

Yea, thanks.

I need to apologize for
last time... I didn't know.

No, don't worry about it.

Alright, see ya.

What's the big rush?

Well, I guess it's a little weird...

We're standing right in front of a love hotel.

Tora-chan!

Oh? Have we met before?