01x15 & 01x16 - The Gi/The Kiss

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[Gumball and Darwin] Please, Mom!

-Please!
-Please!

S'il te plait?

Por favor?

Bitte?

We really want to do karate.

[both] Olu'olu?

[sighs] OK.

[both] Yay.

You better not get bored
and give it up right away.

Mom, when have we ever given something up?

{\an }[both] I hate football!

{\an }[both] I hate tennis!

{\an }[both] I hate flippin' horses!

{\an }I hate figure skating!

Oh, yeah.

Promise me you'll go
to the lessons this time.

[scoffs] Who needs lessons?

You already bought us black belts.

[ka-ching]

-[both grunt]
-[sighs]

Dude, you look so powerful in your belt.

-You too, man.
-Really?

Yeah. You're, like, half shark,
half bear, half alligator.

Shark-bear-gator.

Darwin, let's agree
to never take these off.

Agreed!

[grunts]

Ooh-yah! Wah!

Hyah!

Yah!

Wah-ah! [munches]

[grunting]

Come on! Hyah!

[Darwin grunting]

[school bell rings]

That was the best day of my life!

Yah! Yah! Yah!

[laughter]

Why don't you fight Tina?

No, no, no, no.

Our karate is strictly for self-defense.

To misuse the power in this fin

would bring terrible dishonor
upon our dojo.

Ha ha. Do another flip!

All right, just one more-- for the fans.

[inhales deeply]

Awesome!

Uncool!

Boys, come on! Time to go!

One second, Mom!

Hey, Penny!

What do you think of my new style?

-Hmm. Very... Um...
-Impressive?

Well, I like to see you happy.

Thanks. Wah! You need to work
on that defense, young lotus.

Farewell.

[car door opens, closes]

Hyah!

You flinched!

[chuckles nervously]
Everything OK at school, honey?

Yeah, school is awesome,

especially when you're wearing
one of these.

It's just that it kind of
looked like the kids

were making fun of you back there.

Yeah, laughing with you
can sound like laughing at you.

They even called us the "Karate Wieners"!

I think it's because we always
"win" at karate.

[chuckles]

[man, on TV] The perfect karate master.

[Richard laughs]

In your face!

Uh, I wish I could kick people
like this in real life.

Hey, nice costumes, guys.

-You have a spare one?
-Nah. Sorry, Dad.

I'm not sure you're ready
for the responsibility.

[sighs] I understand.

Come on, Darwin.

Let's go practice some k*ller moves.

OK, dude, you know
what a true warrior needs

for a good warm-up?

Mittens and a scarf?

No, Darwin-san.

[rock music playing]

Inspiration.

♪ Every time I look In the mirror ♪

♪ All I see Is the inner warrior ♪

♪ Staring back at me ♪

Oh, Richard, I'm so worried about them.

♪ Warrior ♪

♪ Inner warrior ♪

Why? It's a great track.

They're obsessed with those outfits,

and the kids at school
are making fun of them.

You know how mean kids can be.

♪ You're the best that you can be ♪

Richard?

Hmph!

I know they're just costumes,
but if people make fun of them,

they'll never get girlfriends,

or a job, and in years' time,

they'll still be living here

and wearing those ridiculous
karate outfits!

[video game beeping]

Gumball.

Yeah?

I think we've wasted our lives.

[character dying sound]

-[Gumball] Yah!
-[Darwin] Yah, yah, yah!

-Boys.
-[both] Hi, Mom.

Check out Darwin's sweet scissor kick.

Hyah!

When did you post this?

We didn't. Some kids at school did.

Boys, look at the title--
"Tae-Kwon Dorks."

I think they might be making fun of you.

Nah. They just spelled Tae-Kwon Do wrong.

Korean spelling is very complicated.

There's loads of
other fellow senseis on here.

Look.

Yah!

Hey!

[sighs] I need to tell you a story.

Cool! Is it a fable about
a great martial arts warrior?

Not exactly.

When your father was at school,
he thought he was

-the Cottontail Cavalier.
-Cottontail Cavalier.

[humming]

[laughter]

Costumed geek!

Leave him alone!

At least he's brave enough to be himself!

He was lucky there was one girl

who loved him for who he really was.

What a sad story.

But what ever happened to the cape?

Well, I managed to get it
off him and hide it.

What? You mean the president
didn't really need my cape?

I'm sorry, honey.

[gasps] It's because of you I'm mortal!

[sobbing]

You see?

That's the kind of state you can get into

when you refuse to grow up.

Gumball, I don't want
to be a costumed geek.

It's OK, Darwin.

Mom, we'll stop wearing the outfits

if it'll make you happy.

Thank you, boys. I'm so proud of you.

You'll see, it's for the best.

♪ Life's about abandoning ♪

♪ Dream after dream ♪

♪ Hopes and expectations ♪

♪ Float way downstream ♪

[Gumball] ♪ It's time to kiss
Our childish ways good-bye ♪

Grow up, give mediocrity a try?

♪ The games, they have to stop ♪

♪ No more hyah ♪

♪ Not even a karate chop ♪

♪ Face up
To what maturity means ♪

♪ And forget about our ♪

♪ Martial-arts dre-e-e-e-e-e-ams ♪

[both sigh]

-Well, I think I'm cured.
-Me, too.

I almost think I could put it
back on, you know,

just one last time and I'd be fine.

I reckon if I put mine back on,
it would do nothing.

[both laugh]

It feels so good.

[door opens]

Boys, is that you?

Oh. Yeah. Just rushing off to school.

You know, don't want to miss
any of those, spelling... sums.

That's great, honey.

Now, where did you put those
karate costumes?

Those old things?
I completely forgot about them.

But you had them only yesterday.

That was yesterday?

Well, time sure flies
when you're all grown up.

Can you remember where we put them?

-Beats me.
-Maybe they're in the closet.

-Bye!
-Bye.

And now to get rid of
this problem once and for all.

They've gone!

Wait a minute.

Bye!

[distorted] Bye!

By-y-y-y-y-e!

Those little fibbers!

OK, let's get these dorky clothes off.

I don't know.
I think I'm gonna keep mine on.

What?

Mom's kind of right. This is a bit lame.

Are you crazy?

[grunting]

-Is that lame?
-Nah.

-It's pretty awesome.
-Exactly!

Now, our fans are waiting.

The Karate Wieners have returned!

[laughter]

People, please, contain your excitement.

At lunch break, come and see me
attempt the impossible.

What, are you gonna get a girlfriend?

[laughter]

No. I'm going to break planks of wood

with this hand!

[whispers] Are you crazy?

No, Darwin.

I'm more sane than I've ever been!

I can't believe they lied to me!

I never should've given them
those outfits!

What was I thinking?

[horn honks]

Out of my way!

My kids are in danger!

Of becoming their father!

[gong rings]

Dude, seriously,
how are you gonna do this?

Easy-- I've seen loads of guys
do it on the Internet.

All I have to do is hit it with my hand.

Watch.

Karate fans, please,
can I have a little hush?

Yeah, quiet!

I want to hear him fail!

-[laughter]
-Shh!

Thank you, Darwin-san.

[breathing heavily]

Hyah!

[squeaks]

[laughter]

Stop laughing!

Don't you guys watch TV?

When you believe in yourself,
you can accomplish anything!

[crying] Hyah! Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!

Maybe I'll just do one plank.

[breathing heavily]

Hyah!

[grunts]

[crying]

[laughter]

Ladies and gentlemen, the Karate Wiener!

[laughter]

Oh, no! I'm too late!

Hey, leave him alone!

If he wants to wear
karate clothes, let him!

At least he's brave enough to be himself!

[gasps]

Besides, I think he looks...
cute, kind of like a-- a...

Shark-bear-gator?

Yeah, something like that.

I told you girls would dig it.

Thanks for sticking up for me, Penny.

My pleasure, Gumball-san.

Wah! Hah!

[both laugh]

[gong rings]

Oh, my little Karate Wiener's in love.

[video game beeping]

-Richard.
-Yeah?

The president wants you to have this back.

[Richard] Aaaaaah!

Really?

I can feel its power!

Well, put it on.

Yes!

The Cottontail Cavalier has returned!

[humming]

[laughs]

Just like old times.

Thanks, honey.

[Richard grunting]

[breathing heavily]

We should... really get an escalator.

I told you, I already asked Santa.

Cool!

Now, kids, while we're gone,
I want you to do

what your Granny Jojo tells you.

-Yes, Mom.
-Yes, Mrs. Mom.

[Richard grunting]

Richard, those go in the trunk!

Huh?

What does it look like I'm doing?

[Nicole] That's the gas t*nk!

[laughter]

Stop laughing at your father.
He tries very hard.

[Richard groans]

-That's the glove box!
-[Richard] Sorry!

Mom, I've been talking it over
with Darwin,

and I think I'm old enough
not to have Granny Jojo

kiss me on the cheek anymore.

Why don't you want your Granny Jojo

to kiss you on the cheek?

Uh, I'm just not into the whole
kissing-on-the-cheek thing.

But she's your Granny Jojo.

So? Can't we just shake hands?

She's your grandmother,
and you're going to let her

kiss you on the cheek!

Between that and her TV programs,
that's all she has left these days.

I like getting kissed on the cheek.

It makes me feel special.

He's right, Gumball.
It's not the end of the world.

Well, if getting
kissed on the cheek is so great,

how come those two always take off
before Granny Jojo arrives?

Hurry, Richard! She'll be here any minute!

-I know! I know!
-[bus horn honks]

Richard, her bus!

[lips smacking]

[groans]

Granny Jojo!

Hello, dear.

Get my bags, would ya?

Granny Jojo!

Hello, walking fish.

Where's the blue one?

Here I am.

[Anais breathing heavily]

-Say my name.
-[sighs]

[Anais] Come on, Gumball.
Just get it over with.

Well, it's easy for you--

Aah!

Hurry up with those bags, Anais.

I don't want to miss
the Sheriff McGruff Marathon.

He's the only man of justice,
in a world of deceit.

[grunting]

See? That wasn't so bad.

Gumball?

-Gumball, are you OK?
-[squeaks]

[grunting]

Anais?

I'm kind of busy here.

Something's wrong with Gumball.

[squeaking] She-- she-- she kissed me!
She kissed me!

She kisses all of us! Get over it!

Jeez! What's in this thing--

Bowling balls?

[grunting]

You OK, buddy?

Aah! Look out!

Aah! [breathing heavily]

[Granny Jojo] Anais!

You be careful with Granny Jojo's bag.

Yes, Granny Jojo.

[TV is switched on]

Darwin, you're getting me in trouble.

Take care of Gumball.

Hmm.

Hey, I know.

-Let's go to your happy place.
-My happy place?

Yeah, you know, that special place
you go to when you feel bad.

I don't have a happy place!

Where's your happy place?

Everywhere's my happy place.

[birds chirping]

-Hi, mailbox!
-Hi, Darwin!

-Hi, tree!
-Hey, Darwin!

-Hey, dangerous criminal!
-What? Heya, Darwin.

[car alarm blaring]

Hi, two rats eating a kabob!

-Hi, Darwin!
-Hi, Darwin!

-Hi, $ bill!
-Hello, Darwin!

Hi, grumpy old guys!

Hey, I hear your grandma's in town!

Give her a big kiss from me!

[whimpers] Find your happy place,
find your happy place.

-Here you go.
-Thanks.

Aah.

Find your happy place.

Find your h-- Hey, look. A butterfly!

Ohhhhh.

Pretty.

Give Granny Jojo a kiss!

Aah! Happy place! H-h-happy, happy!

Come here and smell these flowers.

[sniffs] Hmm.

Daffodils!

[sniffs] Hmm.

They kind of smell like... Granny Jojo!

[sighs]

Aw.

Why so sad?

You need to find your happy place!

There is no happy place!

[sobbing]

I'm sorry, little creature!

I'm sorry I couldn't help you forget!

[crying continues]

[music playing on TV]

[music stops]

Anais!

Anais!

Yes, Granny Jojo?

Did you take Granny Jojo's bag
up to her room?

-Almost!
-Well, hurry up.

It's almost : . It's nearly suppertime.

[music resumes]

TV. Yeah.

This should work.

I'll get the door for you, buddy.

Oh, thanks. Aah!

[muffled scream]

Eat up, Gumball.

Dinner will take your mind off it.

[Anais slurping loudly]

[lips smacking]

[slurping]

[lips smacking]

Uh, Darwin?

[screaming]

[screaming]

Aaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaah!

[screaming]

Oh.

Oh, man, that was intense.

Give us a kiss!

-No!
-Aah!

Aah!

[panting]

Oh, come on!
That's the fifth time tonight!

What are you doing out there?

Trying to move this stupid bag!

[grunts]

Gumball,
maybe you'll never get over that kiss.

Then you need to fight fire with fire!

-Won't that burn the house down?
-No, no, no.

I mean, you've got to go through
something much worse

to forget about grandma's kisses.

[gasps]

Trauma therapy!

[all chanting] Go, Gumball, go! Yeah!

Go, Gumball, go! Yeah!

Go, Gumball, go! Yeah!

What if this doesn't work, Darwin?

Oh, it'll work. It has to.

You're gonna squirm, cry,
sweat, and scream!

You're gonna squirm, cry,
sweat, and scream!

Uh...

Come on, Gumball, this is gonna be bad!

I can't hear you!

I didn't say anything!

-I said, "Are you ready?"
-No, you didn't!

Oh. Are you ready?

-Yes.
-Run that way!

[grunts]

[grunts]

Welcome to level one,
the leap of [echoing] faith.

Leap of faith. Eh. Sounds easy enough.

[grunts]

[all gasp]

Did I say, "The leap of faith"?

I meant, "The leap of filth"!

[Gumball] Aaaaaaaaaah!

[all] Ew.

Oh!

You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Uh-huh.

Forgotten about the kiss yet?

-No.
-On your feet, Gumball.

You really stink.

But you're in luck!
You're gonna take a shower.

It's level two!

The shower of slime!

[inhales deeply]

[giggles]

-Forgotten yet?
-[strains] About what?

About the kiss.

Oh. I had, but you just reminded me.

Oh.

Then welcome to level three,
the see-through stuff of sweaty cheese!

[all gasp]

[gagging]

[gasps] Haah!

-Forgotten yet?
-No!

[panting]

What are you guys doing here?

We're your next level,
the sounds of suffering.

-[laughs]
-[screech]

[groans]

Aah! Ungh!

-Forgotten now?
-No!

How about now?

[squeak]

Make it sto-o-o-op!

[all cheering]

[panting]

The good news is, this is the last level.

The bad news is, this is the worst.

[thud]

Really?

[sighs] OK. Do it.

[sloop]

[panting]

So?

So... what?

[all gasp]

He's forgotten!

[all cheering]

[all] He's forgotten.

[Anais grunts]

Aah!

Yes! I did it!

Granny Jojo, Granny Jojo!

-I did it!
-You did what?

I carried your suitcase up to your room.

Well, good for you, dear.

[choir vocalizes]

Now bring it back down.
My bus will be here any minute.

I found my happy place!

-Hey, two rats eating a kabob!
-Hey, Gumball.

-I found my happy place.
-That's great.

Good for you, pal.

[munching]

-[Gumball] Hey, old guy.
-No, wait! My back!

Whoo-hoo! [ laughs ]

That's so much better.

-Hey, old guy.
-[cracks]

Gumball's found his happy place.

Darn it.

Anais, give me a kiss good-bye
and put my bags on the bus.

[grunts]

A little bit faster this time, please.

Granny Jojo!
Gumball's found his happy place!

That's nice, fish kid.
Now kiss me good-bye.

Granny Jojo! I found my happy place!

Yeah, whatever.
Now give your Granny Jojo a kiss good-bye.

Of course.

[Anais]
Gumball, give me a hand with this bag!

OK.

[theme music playing]