02x35 & 02x36 - The Tape/The Sweaters

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[beep]

Hi, my name is, um...

[sighs]

Hi, my name's Warren Tatoos. [grunts]

Hi, my name's Dyle Watterson.

In this flim... In this fil-- flim...
Ah! Curse word!

Hi, my name's Darwin Watterson.

And this Darwin's about...

-[beep]
-[sighs]

[Gumball] Oh, come on, dude!
How hard can this be?

Oh, hi.

Hmm.

OK. One, two, three.

Hi, my name is Mormon Towason.

And this is a film about the thing that...

When the people do that...

And then... then they do that,

and it's about the film
where... we show who it is that--

[Gumball] Again. From the top.

Yes! Yes! Finally!

-Nailed it!
-Yes.

[both laughing]

Wait. Is the light supposed to be on
when it's recording, or...

[beep]

[Gumball] This is my school,
Elmore Junior High,

and this is the story of my life,
starring...

the Wattersons as the Wattersons...

Tobias Wilson as Tobias.

Nigel Brown as the principal.

Hector Jötunheim as Hector.

Carrie Krueger as Carrie.

This guy as this guy...

And introducing all my other friends

in the Amazing World of... [sighs]
Forget it. Who's gonna watch that?

And here we are in the natural habitat
of the Moobus Gelatinous,

spending today, as he does every day,
sheltering himself from responsibility.

[snoring]

But what's this?

It seems a nearby Kickbuttus Hystericus
is returning from a successful hunt.

The Moobus will be keen to scavenge.

It is essential he evades discovery.

He knows that, despite his size,

he's no match for the physical prowess
of the elegant Kickbuttus.

He's not here for the small pickings.

He knows that it may be up to an hour
before he's allowed to eat again.

His timing must be perfect, so he waits.

And he strikes!

The Kickbuttus will give chase.

[Nicole] Get back here! Richard!

[Gumball] Things are looking bad
for the Moobus.

However, nature gave him a silent,
but deadly defense mechanism

that triggers itself
when he feels threatened.

Oh, Richard!

[Gumball] The Moobus seizes his chance
and retreats to his den.

Richard, come back here!

[Gumball] The Kickbuttus
defends her territory,

but in doing so, commits another mistake.

In this ruthless ecosystem,

an unguarded k*ll is quickly
claimed by the vultures.

[beeps]

OK, prepare yourself, -D without glasses.

What I want you to do is just focus
on my eyes until your vision adjusts.

Now, it takes a little time,

and you might need to get
a little closer to the screen.

The best distance
is normally about three inches.

Now, keep watching
until the -D effect kicks in.

Keep looking.

Almost there.

Almost... there.

[growls]

[laughs]

[Gumball] Why are we hiding?

[Darwin] Shh. Just look at him!

[beeping]

[Gumball] What is he doing?

It looks like he's got worms.

"B," "A."

[Gumball] What the what?

Wait up. I'm gonna get some, too.

[grunts]

[Lucy] You may now start your tests.

[Gumball] Zoom in! Zoom in!

I need to see how he does this.

[beeps]

"B," "A."

[Gumball] Dude!

He's using cheat codes in real life.

I need to learn that code, man.

[blows whistle]

[Gumball] Look, he's doing it again!

"B," "A."

[grunts]

All right, dude. Film this.

Up, up, down, down, left, right,

left, right, "B," "A"!

-[Darwin] What is this cheat for?
-It's for--

Call an ambulance...

An ambulance...

Hi. I'm Tobias Wilson.

And a lot of people ask me,

"Can you teach me to be as cool as you?"

And I say, "No,
you'll never be as cool as me."

But I can teach you to be cooler than you,

and just maybe you'll be a hit
with the ladies, like me.

What up, sunshine?

Boo-yah!

If you want to get dates,

you got to pump weights,
'cause girls can't deny

a guy who's this fly.

So let's get some muscles
and score some girls from... like,

Brussels, or something.

Let's do this!

[grunts]

Yeah!

That's what I'm talking about!

If there's one thing girls love,
it's cash.

So you got to make it rain.

-[clanks]
-Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

[Tobias] That's right.

I chipped my tooth!

Now I've got the look and the flip,
all I need is the lady.

[clears throat]

Hey, beautiful, you have a quarter?

'Cause I told my mom
I'd call her when I fell in love.

Uh, no, I'm sorry. I don't.

But you can use my cell.

[dialing]

[line ringing]

Hey, Mom, uh, could you come
pick me up early today?

'Cause...
[softly] I'm kind of embarrassed.

-Thanks.
-No worries.

See you later.

[Gumball] Tobias!

Where are you going, dude?

Tobias!

Oh, come on!

[beep]

♪ Do-do do-do do ♪

♪ Commercial break ♪

People always ask me,

"How do you look so horrible?

Is it natural?"

Well... [whispers] Here's my secret.

Creme de huaah!

With active ingredients
including fridge mold and ham sweat,

its pimple-inducing formula is guaranteed
to keep your skin oily and rank.

Creme de huaah!

For him and for huaah!

[both together] ♪ It's baby Anais ♪

♪ The living baby doll ♪

She likes to eat her cookies!

♪ It's baby Anais ♪

♪ The living baby doll ♪

She likes to drink milk!

She's really drinking it!

♪ It's baby Anais ♪

♪ The living baby... ♪

Oh, forget it, man.
Let's try something else.

[nasally] No, no, no!

This gave me an idea.

♪ Ba, na-na-na now! ♪

♪ It's the annihilator! ♪

With realistic kung-fu-karate-chop action!

She can break anything with her tiny hand!

Nothing can resist her. Cars, trees,

bricks, houses, her own face!

♪ It's the annihilator! ♪

♪ Do-do do-do do ♪

♪ Commercial break ♪

[Gumball] Come on. Hurt yourself.

What? Why?

[Gumball] 'Cause that's what people want,
man.

All right. Then look cute.

People like to laugh at people
who get hurt and cute pets.

[sighs] All right.

-[Gumball] You call that cute?
-What?

You think you can do better?

I'll show you cute.

All right. If that's what you want...

Cute combo att*ck!

The cuteness, it's too much.

Ah, this is stupid.

We got a chance here
to do something that matters,

and we're just trying
to please the masses.

And what would you do?

I'll show you.

[Darwin] Life...

People...

And one question to drive it...

Why?

We look out into space for an answer,

but just find spheres orbiting spheres.

We look inside ourselves for an answer,

but just find spheres orbiting spheres.

Coincidence? Think about it.

Look at this peanut.

Doesn't it look a lot like an eight?

And look, turn it a little,
and what do you get?

Infinity. [dramatic echo]

Are we ruled by nature, mathematics, or--

♪ The annihilator! ♪

[Darwin] "Ninja George II."

-Ninja George.
-Yes, Colonel?

You have to help us
defeat evil once again.

I can't.

I promised I would never
raise my fists again.

But, Ninja George,

Dr. Downer has captured
your sister, Ninja Georgina.

All right, then.
But first I need to train.

[grunts]

[panting]

Now I'm ready.

Yes, you are.

[Darwin] Ninja George
traveled far and wide,

but it was full of dangers.

On the way, he met a giant,
so he had to defeat it.

[Gumball] Hi-yah!

[Darwin] And then he met a dragon,

so he had to defeat it.

[Gumball] Hi-ya!

[Darwin] And then he met a beautiful woman
who he fell in love with,

but he wasn't emotionally ready,
so he had to defeat it.

[Gumball] Oh, I'm sorry.
It's not you. It's me.

[Darwin] And then he arrived
at the evil temple of Dr. Downer.

Give me back my sister!

[Darwin] ♪ Dun dun dun! ♪

Ah!

-Colonel! It was you all along?
-Yes!

I tricked you into
coming here to defeat you!

But why didn't you att*ck me
before my training?

Uh...

Let's fight!

Hy-ya-ya!

[both screaming and grunting]

[sobbing]

No, no, no! Please don't cry!

Please. You know that when you cry, I cry.

What are we gonna do?

We're supposed to jump through
a window in the next scene.

We need another ending.

I'm sorry I made you feel like

the second-best ninja in the world,
Dr. Downer.

No, Ninja George.

It's me who's sorry for being
such a prissy little jerk

and capturing your sister.

I think we both learned
that expressing our feelings

is way better than a fight to the death.

[both] Yay! Mega-happy ending!

All right. How do you eject the tape?

-It's the red button.
-You're sure?

I thought the red button was to record.

-Nah. It's definitely eject.
-All right.

Oh, man! I can't wait to see this!

[school bell ringing]

Why does he want to see us?
We haven't done anything, have we?

I don't know. Let me see if there's
anything on your conscience.

No, your conscience is pretty clean.

I don't know what he wants.
We're nice people, man.

But you know he always goes easier on us
when we own up right away.

Let me handle it.

[Gumball] Yes! Yes, it was us!

But before you judge, think about this,

video games, rap music,
television, the Internet,

advertising, making us want stuff
that your generation

shoved down our throats
so you can get even richer!

Who's the real victim here?

And while you're at it, think about this!

Who is the real culprit,
the victim of your corrupt society,

or the man that could have done
something but let it happen?

[stammering] I called you in because
I thought you wouldn't mind

showing Sarah around the school.

Oh, dagnabbit, man!

I just wasted the best excuse material
I've ever had.

That's the library,
where we hide when it's gym class.

That's the gym,
where we hide when we're supposed

to be in the library.

Don't be nervous.

-You'll settle in quickly enough.
-I'm not nervous.

What makes you think I'm nervous?

The bottom of your cone is dripping.

Well, it's normal to be nervous
with your reputation.

-Our reputation?
-Yeah.

In my last school, all the girls ever used

to talk about is how hardcore
you guys are.

Oh, yeah?

What else do they say?

Well, they said that you guys
were tough and that you have

those, like, awesome adventures.

-And you're always coming out on top.
-Yeah.

They say that you don't respect the rules.

-That's right.
-And they say--

[sighs] As tempted as I am
to live this lie,

it'll save us the guaranteed shame
of being outed later on

if I just tell you right now
that we are absolutely not hardcore.

Yeah, let's face the facts.

Some meathead will hear us
claim that we're hardcore

and then they'll come and kick our butts.
Thanks, but no thanks.

And let's get back to the tour.

This is the cafeteria,
where you can have lunch...

and sometimes see a rat fight.

[Darwin]
What do you think is the most beautiful?

The way the Sun comes out after the rain,

or the first footstep in newly laid snow?

[Carlton] So you think
you're hardcore, huh?

Sorry. Are you talking to us?

-What do you think?
-I don't know, man.

There's people everywhere here.

-Are you getting fresh with me, dipstick?
-What?

What does that mean?

Look, who are you guys?

That's Carlton and Troy.

They're from my old school.

And we're here to see
how hardcore you really are.

Back off, Carlton!

You don't know who you're messing with!

What part of "we're not hardcore"
did you not understand?

-If you're so hardcore...
-We just said we weren't.

...then what are you gonna
do about this, face ache?

Absolutely nothing, dude.

Sounds to me like you
want to fight, dweebazoid.

OK, I don't know
what kind of movie you're living in,

-but I don't want to be in it.
-That's right!

Walk away before it gets ugly!

What do you think we're doing
with our legs right now?

Guys, that was pretty stupid
to provoke them like that.

Uh, you were the one
who was stirring the pot!

You should be careful.
Their father is a very important man,

and they don't take kindly to people
who stand up to them.

Well, how do they take to people
who do absolutely nothing to them?

It's a bit late for that.

How many times do we have to repeat this,

we want nothing to do
with this whole story!

You guys are crazy.

No, young lady!
You are the insane one here!

Walk on the other side
of the street, please!

Now, stay at this distance
for the rest of our lives!

So are you guys gonna fight them?

'Cause I can call them
and arrange a time and a place and...

-I can't take any more of this.
-...and get a crowd together

and maybe a paramedic
in case of injury and--

-This girl's trouble, man.
-[doorbell ringing]

[Darwin] Ew. Short shorts.

[sighs] What is it now?

I'm Mr. Crease.

I teach over at Richwood High,

and I heard you might have
had some kind of altercation

with some of my students yesterday.

Yeah, we did!

They came out of nowhere
and tried to start a fight with us!

Well, I just wanted to say
that if that situation ever happens again,

you will lose and they will win!

And you'll be like, "Aah!"

And they'll be like, "Roar!"

Ooh! What's the matter?

You scared, little piggies?

Uh, yeah.

You're a fully-grown man screaming at us,

and if you continue,
I'm gonna call the police.

Just what I'd expect from
a couple of cowards like you!

Oh! Who's the hardcore one now?

Uh, you, I guess.

That's right!

Ooo-ooh! Ba-ba-ba-ba.

La-la, la-la...

Let's go out the back.

You know what the worst thing is?

-This guy is a teacher.
-No, dude.

The worst thing is that
this guy's got two sweaters

and he's not wearing either of them.

Where do you think these guys
are coming from?

-They look weird.
-Guys, watch out behind you!

-[sighs] What does she want now?
-We can't hear you!

Ba, ba, ba! You stay right there!
Just speak louder!

Watch out behind you!

So, you thought you'd mouth off
to Coach about being more

hardcore than us.

You got some nerve,
you neo-maxi zoom dweebies.

[grunts]

OK, dude.
Fir-- Firstly, that's not what happened.

And, secondly,
how-- how do you even know about it?

It was like two...

-minutes ago.
-Sarah told us.

We're gonna crush you tomorrow at : ,
freekazoids!

No.

That's not gonna happen,

because we don't want
anything to do with you.

Well, if you don't turn up,

I'm just gonna have to tell
my dad to level your school

and build his golf course
right on top of it.

La, la, la!

Not listening, don't care,
and please go away.

What the what? They just disappeared!

Nah. They just climbed up that tree.

[Gumball] And they said we have
to fight them at : tomorrow

or their super-rich dad will bulldoze
the school and build a golf course on it.

But I mean, when I say that out loud,

it's like the most ridiculous thing
I've ever heard.

Hmm. Well, all I can say is, if there were
to be a fight at : tomorrow,

I would probably be in this office

listening to loud music
with the blinds closed.

Wait. Are you actually telling us
to fight these guys?

No, no, no, no.

No counselor would condone such a thing.

I mean, think about it, all your friends,

the people who work very hard
to give you an education,

all of this you shouldn't fight for.

I think we'll take this further up
the chain of command.

[Nigel Brown] Now, fighting is never OK.

But let's say he's got his arms
around your neck like this.

It might seem like a bad spot,

but you have to take
advantage of your environment.

"Oh, looky what we got here,
his own shoe."

You can just grab that.
It's really very easy.

Most people won't expect it.

Now you can throw it across the room,
and he will release you,

because most people usually
really want their shoe back.

Has there been some kind
of chemical leak today?

'Cause right now everyone's
acting like total psychos.

Another trick is that
most shoes are opaque,

so you can use it cover his eyes,
effectively blinding him.

Seize the advantage, spin him round,
and spank him with his own footwear.

With a "bang" and a "bam"
and a "bim" and a "pow"!

What is wrong with people today?

I don't know. The teachers are nuts.

Sarah keeps making things worse.

He's still here.

And I know what's gonna
happen if we roll with this,

we're gonna have a fight,
it's gonna look like we're losing,

but then we'll win thanks
to our "heart" or something,

then those sweater guys will respect us,

and then we'll freeze-frame
in some kind of high-five,

mega-happy-ending cheese pose.

You know what? I say we dodge this
and save ourselves the trouble.

-Absolutely.
-[Penny] Gumball!

I've heard you're gonna sacrifice yourself
to save the school.

I know it's heroic and selfless
and... kind of attractive.

And I know there's nothing
I can do to stop you,

but I thought I should try.

Listen to your heart. What does it say?

Get a restraining order on those guys
and live happily in shame!

It says I have to fight.

-Oh. [sobbing]
-[sighs]

-[taps on window]
-[muffled mumbling]

What?

See you on the court, losers.

[Darwin] I expected more of like a "fight"
fight, not really a tennis match.

Also, this school is weird.

Yeah, I can sort of see
why Sarah didn't fit in.

Prepare to suffer!

[grunts]

Well, on the plus side,
this should be over quick.

Fifteen-love!

[buzzes]

Forehand!

Yeah!

[grunts]

[laughs]

Yes.

All right!

♪ The power to fight ♪

Top spin!

[Sarah] Gumball!

If you believe in your heart,
you can win this!

[sighs]

[screams]

-Backhand!
-Ace sh*t!

-Forehand!
-Volley!

Fifteen-love! -love!

Forty-love! Game!

[grunts]

Match point!

[cheering]

♪ This is boring ♪

♪ B-b-b-b-b-boring ♪

Hmm. There's something wrong here.

They're planning something.

But what, Coach?

[Coach] I don't know.

But the best defense is att*ck.

-Break him.
-What do you mean?

I mean, if an opponent
cannot run, he cannot win.

But there's only one point left.

I think I can win--

You don't think! You do what you're told!

Hey, dude. Look.

"Waffle face."

[screams] Right in the glutes!

[Sarah] Is there anything you can do, sir?

He'll never be able to live his life
if he doesn't finish this game.

Uh, yeah, I will.

-I'll live just fine.
-No.

If I don't heal you
and you don't finish this fight,

you will never find balance.

Oh, why does nobody ever...

Wait. Can you really heal me?

Yes, with this ancient technique.

Whoa!

I... Gosh. I think I'm OK now.

[indistinct chatter]

[crowd gasping]

We were wrong, Carlton.

He truly is hardcore.

[audience applause]

How do they clap without moving?

All right!
Let's just get this over with, please!

I'm sorry.

Game, set, and match.

Richwood High!

[audience cheering]

Everybody, stop!

Maybe you didn't win this match,

but you showed your courage, and for this,

I give you not a trophy,

but something much more important.

I give you my respect.

Dude, do you actually start
dressing in the morning

by tying a sweater around your shoulders?

Like, do you wear one
as your underpants, as well?

[all laughing]

Come on! Give me five!

Five!

Told you it would end like that.

[theme music playing]