02x06 - Episode 6

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Feel Good". Aired: 18 March 2020 –; June 4, 2021.
Series follows recovering addict and comedian Mae, who attempts to control the addictive behaviours and intense romanticism that permeate every facet of her life.
Post Reply

02x06 - Episode 6

Post by bunniefuu »

[crickets chirping]

[Phil] I can't believe
I'm gonna meet your parents.

Listen, they don't know anything
about Scott or any of that stuff.

They think we're here
for a simple vacash.

Simple vacash.

[knocking on door]

[George] I can't believe
this is your house.

I imagined you'd grown up
on the wrong side of the tracks.

No, I was born on the right side
of the tracks

and then I'd visit the wrong side
'cause that's where the drugs were.

Listen, guys, don't be disappointed
if they're weird or cold with you, okay?

They can be judgmental of my friends.

Well, howdy, cowboys.
Welcome to the ranch. [laughs]

Malcolm, come see
what the coyotes dragged in.

Oh, Phil, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Oh, Phil.


Oh, my poor boy.

[slow instrumental music playing]

[Linda] That's good. Let's go in.

- You have such a lovely home.
- [Linda] Mm.

- Yeah, I love...
- [clears throat]

...those shelves.

Yes, that middle shelf is where
my ornamental pears used to sit

until Mae stole them
and plunged our family into chaos.

Phil, would you like to make a toast?

- [clears throat]
- [laughs]

Um, well, first of all,
thank you so much for having me here.

I've been going through
a tough time since my dad died,

especially 'cause it's my fault
that he left my family.

No, Philip, Philip.
It cannot be your fault.

[sighs] Thanks, Malcolm, but, um...

You see, when I was four,
my birth dad died.

Then my mom fell in love again
when I was six,

and my stepdad moved in.

He raised me like I was his own.

He bought me seeds, took me to baseball,

but I just wouldn't open up to him.

Everything about him annoyed me.

His footsteps were too loud.
His car was brown.

And he had this bathrobe too,
and it smelled so bad.

But my mom loved him so much.

And one day, when I was like  ,

I did something bad.


I told my mom
that I saw him with another woman.

I was like, "Mom,
I swear I saw him kissing her tits."

And they had this huge fight
for like five hours,

and I just hid in my room.

Then I heard a door slam and that was it.

Never saw him again.

- Jesus, Phil.
- Thank you, Philip.

It sounds like
it absolutely was your fault.


- Cheers.
- [George] Cheers.

So, Phil, you'll be sleeping on the sofa.

Girls, you'll have Mae's room.

You must be exhausted.
You should go to bed.

- I feel pretty awake.
- We might go out.

[George] Yeah.

- [Mae] Get a drink...
- Good night.


[both] Okay, yeah. Good night.

[birds chirping]

So how does it feel waking up in Toronto?


In my childhood bedroom.

- Illuminating.
- Yeah?

I can't believe James Dean played oboe
and listened to Bette Midler.

- [laughs]
- So what do you want to do?

Have you got
any childhood double-ended dildos?

- Oh my God.
- Yeah?

We can figure something out
with that oboe.



Knock, knock.

[Mae] The thing about the Supreme Court

is that it's actually different
to the Senate.

- Thank you. Morning.
- Oh, hey. Hi.

What a sad charade.

Anyway, breakfast in .

- Mum.
- [Linda] Yes?

Kind of the point of this trip is me
and George spending quality time together.

Yeah. Well, together with us.

Mae, my level of trust with you

is at about a negative %.

So, physical proximity is mandatory.
See you in .

That's good.

- Can I ask you something?
- Yeah.

Did you steal those ornamental pears?

Are you serious?

What, you don't trust me?

Well, I want to trust you
but you make it hard.

Like, this whole trip was supposed
to be about you confronting Scott

but you haven't mentioned it, like, once.

And I kind of hoped
that you'd, like, stick to your word

and... and prove to me
that you're sort of serious...

Yeah, look, I'm doing it. I'm going now.

I'll go right now and I'll talk to him.

And then it'll be done. [sighs]

Okay? I'll talk to Scott.

- Really? Okay.
- Yeah.

- And then you and I can have a nice time.
- Okay.

Lock the door and don't tell my parents
that I snuck out.

[George] Okay.

And I'll be back in like,

before breakfast.

[exhales sharply]

[breathing deeply]

[groovy music playing]

[breathing heavily]

How'd it go?

Uh, not good. Yeah, I didn't go.
I just sat on the roof for half an hour.

- What, just there?
- Yeah, just there. Yeah.

Oh, man. Mae.

George, look, I know that you want me
to get my shit together.

You want me to get closure so I can stop
twitching around like a gerbil.

I want that too.

But this is like a big,
scary, personal thing,

and I have to do it in my own way.

When nobody trusts me
and everybody just assumes

that I'm some kind of piss rat,

it's not very conducive
to personal growth.

I have to pee now.

Oh, okay. Well, hello. Hello.

- What is happening?
- Um, well, okay.


Oh hello, darling.


I was siphoning some of your urine
into this container to test it for drugs.

I thought you'd come up with something,
not just tell her.

No, it's all right.
We're both within our rights.

No. Fine, if you want my piss, just ask
for my piss and I'm happy to provide it.

Why not get it straight
from the horse's mouth.

- Oh my God.
- My God, Mae!

- [Mae] What?
- Hey, guys.

What's been going... Ooh, mucky piper!

What is happening?

- Oh my God!
- Yeah. They're testing my piss for drugs.

- [Linda] We heard you sneak out...
- [Mae] I'm trying to evolve...

Phil, can you look outside
and check if my parents are still there?

- [Phil] Yeah, they're still there.
- [groans]

This is so insane.
They're keeping us on a leash.

It's so typical.

Hey, why don't I go distract them.
You guys sneak out the back.

- Really?
- What? No, Phil.

We're gonna have a good time.
The three of us are gonna go out.

I hate to be rude, but I feel like
I'd have more fun with your parents.

- [scoffs]
- That's odd to say.

I mean, that is really
a strange thing to say, as you just...

I don't know if anyone's ever
told you guys this, but you guys are a lot

as a couple.

You're kind of wrapped up
in your own problems.

And I've never heard you have
a conversation about, like, science.

Um... [scoffs]

- Science?
- [George] What?

I'm gonna take a break from the drama.

[mouthing] Wow.

- I mean...
- Yeah, I think that's unfair.

- I thought that was unfair.
- Are we dramatic?

- [Mae] I don't think so.
- No! It's not like we're Sid and Nancy.

Okay, go, go, go, go.

[upbeat music playing]

- Oh, I love it here.
- Yeah?


There's like people smoking weed

Is it me
or are there gay couples everywhere?

Like, is this the gay district?

No, genuinely not even.

It's just like very chill
and integrated in Canada.

Probably everyone on this street
is probably bisexual and polyamorous.


Maybe I would be too
if I grew up here.

Maybe you would be polyamorous?

No, I don't know that.

I mean, you wouldn't like that, so.

But would you like to be polyamorous?

That's very interesting.

I don't know. Yeah, maybe.

- Maybe one day.
- One day, eh?

Mae Martin?

Oh my God, Danny!

[Danny] Shit, it is you!

- How you doing?
- [Danny] Yeah.

Uh, does Inkboy know you're in town?


It's really good to see you.

Cool, let's go get a drink somewhere.

- Let's go.
- [George] Yeah.

[Mae] Yeah.

[slow dance music playing]

You know those adverts in the ' s
with Andie MacDowell?

- Um...
- Like for L'Oréal,

and she's fencing,
and talking about rejuvenating her skin.

- Yes. Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I think I used to fancy Andie MacDowell.
- Wow.

I wanted her to s*ab me.

[laughs] Do you want me to s*ab you?


- Really?
- [laughing] Yeah.

[both laugh]

That person's been staring
at you all night. She's checking you out.

That's ridiculous. No, she's not.

Excuse me, have you seen yourself?
You're the belle of the ball.

- [laughs]
- I'm serious.

Yeah, okay.

What would you do if I wasn't here?

You're by yourself.

You're in Canada. You bought some drinks.

- You're feeling Canadian.
- [George laughing] Okay.

Would you go over there?

- To...
- [Mae] Yeah.




- Yeah.
- Okay.

The fishes are falling down ♪

♪ Down ♪

♪ Down ♪

♪ They soak up everything on the ground ♪

♪ Down ♪

♪ Down ♪

♪ The fishes are falling down ♪

♪ Down ♪

♪ Down ♪

♪ They soak up everything on the ground ♪

♪ Down ♪

♪ Down ♪

- Hey! How was that?
- [chuckling] Hi.

Are you okay?


- [George] Yeah?
- I'm good.

- [George] Really?
- Yeah, it was hot.

It was really hot.

[song continues]

♪ Watch me falling
Through the fields of fish ♪

♪ Which is a place that I call home ♪

♪ But it's not where I'm welcome ♪

Hey, do you want to get outta here?

- Okay.
- Like, as fast as we can?

[laughing] Okay.

- Okay. Let's go!
- Okay.

- That was awesome.
- Mm.

There's no wire in it.

There's no wire in the wiener.

That's good.

Thank you, sir.

- He called me sir.
- Hmm.

- Did you hear that?
- Yeah.

People always call me sir.


But do you like...

When you think of me in your head,
do you think of me like a...

...like a boy or a girl, would you say?

- [sniffles] Just... you really.
- Yeah.

More importantly, how... how do you see you?

- Um, yeah, just me, really, I think.
- Yeah.

[Mae] But then that feels
like not really a thing.

- I don't know what that means.
- I think that, that is a thing.

That's non-binary, Mae.

I... I do think maybe you should google it.

- [laughs] Yeah.
- Yeah.

- I probably should google it.
- You tell me and I'll use the right words.

[gentle music playing]

- Did I say the right thing?
- Yeah, you said the perfect thing.


Maybe I could google a therapist too.

[laughing] Yeah. Yeah.

Maybe you can see one here.

Like, we could move here.

We... We could start fresh.

Mae Martin!

- [Mae] Oh, f*ck.
- Hello!

- No, George. No, no.
- Friend or foe?

Foe! We are in a lot of danger.
We do have to run!

What? Oh, Mae!

- [Inkboy] Give me my money!
- [panting]

[upbeat music playing]

- We're fine.
- Sure?

Yeah, yeah, we lost them.

- Do we have to call the police?
- And say what?

My drug dealer wants the money I owe him?

Oh my God, I'm so wet right now. [laughs]

- Are you okay?
- [laughing] Yeah.

- I'm sorry.
- Oh my God! That was so scary.

What street are we on right now?

[sighs] I don't know. What?

I think I used to live here.

[George] In this house?

Yeah, I think I used to...
This is so trippy!

- I used to live here with Scott.
- [George] Wait...

That was the kitchen,
and then that was his room.

This is private property.

- I don' think we should...
- This is insane.

My room's around the back. Can we go?

- Really?
- Come on.

But, Mae, this is...


Yeah! This is it.

This is my room.

- You had separate rooms?
- Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I wanted my own room.


I didn't, like,
want to be with him, you know,

when we moved in together.
I thought we were friends.

Mae, there's someone sleeping in there.

There's someone sleeping.
We have to go. We can't. Mae! Mae!

That's exactly where my bed was.

f*ck. I can remember,
like, the feel of the carpet on my feet.

What if she wakes up
and sees us watching her sleep?

I think I used to,
like, lie under the bed.

Like, hide under the bed sometimes.

[inhales deeply]

[laughs] Yeah.

- [ledge snaps]
- [Mae] f*ck!

- Oh, f*ck! Oh, f*ck!
- [screaming]

[woman] I'm calling the cops,
you perverts!

[Mae] Shit!

[Inkboy] Mae Martin!

- Oh my God!
- [Inkboy] Come out here!

[George panting]

[Inkboy] Where'd they go?

I don't wanna die in Canada.

What are you doing?

[Inkboy] Mae!

I'm gonna find you!

[unlocks car door]

[George gasps]

[Inkboy] Where are they?

- [woman] Run, little piggies!
- [panting]

[woman] Hey, lady,
did you see two piss rats?

[lady] I was almost burglarized
by two teenage boys.

[both breathing heavily]

[gentle music playing]

I love you

so much.



Oh f*ck.

[breathing heavily]

[speaking indistinctly]


George, stop.


Oh my God. Oh f*ck.

- Mae, what's wrong?
- Oh my God!

Oh f*ck. [sniffles]

What? What? What is it?

I wish I knew,

like, what kind of person
I would have been.

Like, if I'd never met him.


I can't handle it.

Like, life or like...


...like being in love with you.

Mae, Mae, please listen. Listen to me.


You can barely handle it,
but there is a difference.

You are handling it.

Every day.

You are.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Yeah. [sniffles]

What do you think
about getting out of the city?

Like driving somewhere.

Yeah, I'd like that.

- Hmm?
- Yeah.

Maybe nature?

'Cause we've never really tried nature.

"When a question has no correct answer,

there is only one honest response."

"The gray area between yes and no."

Oh. Hi.

What are you guys doing?

I'm reading your mother The Da Vinci Code.


- She's very tense.
- Ah.

Yes, a call would have been nice.

I slept minutes all night

while you were probably
injecting gasoline with comedians.

[sighs] A lot of my best friends
are comedians.

At some point
you're just gonna have to trust me.

How can we trust you

when you haven't even come clean about
what you did with my ornamental pears?

- Oh God.
- [Linda] That would be a nice first step.

I don't know how else to say this.
I did not touch...

One day they were there,
the next they were gone.

Will you both
come into the garden, please?

I think it's time I showed you something.

Oh my God! My pears.

[Malcolm] Uh... [sighs]

I'm not proud of this.

In ,

I was organizing my model ships clumsily,

and I knocked the pears off the shelf.

Uh, they broke.

buried them here in the garden.

I can't absorb this.

I didn't know you'd blame Mae,
and by the time you had, it was...

it was too late to dig myself out of this...


...this terrible secret.

Maybe I should have just talked to you.

I just didn't want to know.

- We found them now...
- I'm not talking about the pears.

I'm sure there are things that happened
that I should have asked you about.

I just didn't want to know any of it.

Because once you know, you know.

You know? And then you can't stop knowing.

Do you blame me for not wanting to know?

No, I...

I don't blame you at all.

I just...

I wish I could just start fresh

and just meet you guys and be like,
"Hi, I'm Mae. You want to be my parents?"

The past is always with us, monkey.

The trick is not to let it
obstruct the road ahead.

From now on,

let's all know everything. Shall we?

Yes, from now on.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

[Malcolm softly] Yeah.

[inspirational music playing]

[Linda and Malcolm chuckling]

- I've never hugged my parents like that.
- [Phil] Same.

It's really beautiful to see.

- [Mae] Hey.
- Hey.

Did you tell Phil the plan?

What plan?

Uh, we're driving up north to the forest.

We found an Airbnb by the lake,

and we thought the three of us
could hang out, be in nature.

Oh, I mean, I said
I was gonna fix Malcolm's bird feeder.

So, uh... [exhales]

Phil, you can stay here if you want.

Like, you can stay in my old room
for a while, if that's okay with you guys.

We'd be delighted.

You stay as long as you like, my boy.

Stay forever.

Thanks, Mae.

We'll call when we get there.

Do you think they'll be all right?

If they fall in the lake,

they'll get hypothermia
and be d*ad within minutes.

They'll be fine, guys. They're smart.

- Bring it on, nature.
- [laughs]

Um, I should warn you,
that normally when I go up north,

I like to do a lot of big-game hunting.


- No! [laughs]
- [laughing] Oh.


Um, I just need to make
a quick stop on the way.

Yeah. Where?

Uh, the comedy club.

[engine starts]

Do you want me to come with you?


Thank you, though.

[groovy music playing]


I need to talk to you.


- Uh, uh, here?
- Yeah.

Uh, hey, guys, can you give me some space?

- Thanks.
- Why? They can stay.

They knew.

Everybody knew.

[breathes deeply]

Do you want to...
Do you want to sit down or...

I just need to ask you some questions.

You gonna get me canceled?


I just want to talk to you.

This is a f*cking conversation
that I want to have with my friend.

Okay. Good.

When you took me in,

did you know what you wanted... like,
what you wanted to happen between us?

No. No, I took you in
'cause you had nowhere to go,

and then, I guess,

you know, I fell in love with you.


And how did I feel about that,
at the time?

I don't know, man.

You weren't into it. You didn't want it.

Yeah, I remember saying that, like, a lot.

Then what happened?
You wore me down or what happened then?

Come on. We... We fell in love, I guess.

So stupid,

but when you said
that you wanted to get married,

did you mean that?

No. No. I mean...

No, that was just some shit
that people say.

But I did love you.

And back then,
I was literally paying for your life.

It was so stressful.
I was trying to keep you clean.

I... I just felt like I was...

Felt what? What did you feel?

Uh... [sighs]

All right.

I felt like...

I was entitled to a bit of relief.


Listen, I've apologized
over and over again.


I'm a piece of shit and I wish I was d*ad.
I don't know what you want me to say.

You can tell yourself that
I'm the root cause of all of your problems

if that's easier for you, but...

when I met you, you were f*cked up.

No, I know that. I know that.

You were a spoiled, angry addict.
You lied constantly.

I'm working on all that stuff.
But first, I'm talking to you.

[Scott] Why just me?

What about Mike or any of those guys
who didn't give a shit about you?

I loved you.

All right? You were my best friend
and we had a home.

But that's why it hurts.

That's why it hurts 'cause I trusted you.

And now, like, all the love in my chest

is like, tied-up snakes.

And it's all... It's so dirty. [sobbing]

Is this... Is this about the woman
who called you?

Okay, listen. Yes.

There was one other woman,

a little on the young side. But...

There's a word for women
on the young side. It's children!

- Jesus. Come on.
- [Mae groans]


f*ck you, man. f*ck you, Scott.

[Scott] So what?

I'm just a bad person? I...


I don't even know what that means.

What does that mean?

[breathing deeply]

[exhales, sniffles]

[gentle music playing]

[breathes deeply]

I love you.

I love you too.

Do you believe that?

[sighs] What now?

[breathes deeply]

[sniffles, exhales]

I don't wanna see you

or talk to you ever again.

You okay?

Yeah. Yeah, let's go. Let's drive.

- [sniffles]
- Okay.

[car starts]

- Can you pull over for a second?
- Yeah.



Now we can go.


[both laugh]

♪ I hate you for what you did ♪

♪ And I miss you like a little kid ♪

♪ I faked it every time... ♪

You know I got chased by a bear once?


I don't know. I'm not sure.


How you feeling?

[sighing] Oh. I'm bored of myself.

- [laughs] You know?
- Yeah.

How are you feeling?

Yeah. Good.

I like Canada.

But moving here wouldn't really be
a fresh start for you, would it?

Not really.

But maybe one day.

Maybe one day we could move
somewhere mad, like Spain.


I mean, we could be ice fisherman
in Norway.

- [laughing] Yeah. Okay.
- If we want. We could do anything.

I think I don't...

need you as much anymore.

But I want you.

Do you want me?

Yeah, I do.

- [chuckling] Okay.
- Yeah.



what is photosynthesis?

Okay, so photosynthesis
is a process by which...

It's a chemical process.

Plants use sunlight,
and they turn carbon dioxide and water

into energy.

- They use the sunlight?
- Yeah.

That blows my mind.

Okay, if you like that, baby,
what can I say about chlorophyll?

- What the hell is that?
- Okay, you know green... green plants?

- I know green plants.
- Yeah, green plants.

So what makes them green?

- Yeah?
- Chlorophyll!

["Then Again" by Half Moon Run playing]

♪ And again
You'll be out on the edge of ♪

♪ Some great precipice ♪

♪ That would redefine you again ♪

♪ And leave me alone to catch up ♪

♪ Then I heard you speak ♪

♪ You know on certain terms ♪

♪ That again breathing
Just to see your own breath ♪

♪ You got a brand-new start
In a sunny southern town ♪

♪ Me in a touring van
In hope but in doubt ♪

♪ That it'll get easier ♪

♪ Yet from time to time ♪

♪ I look back what a terrible waste ♪
Post Reply