01x05 - BFFs

[bunniefuu]

Guys? M-Maybe we should just go.

This doesn't feel
like a good idea.

Shut the f*ck up, Sky!

I swear,
you are such a wet tampon.

Like, why are you even here?

Because you-you remember
you wanted to use my phone

- to order dr*gs?
- And?

Because I just moved here and
I don't have any other friends?

Exactly.
If it wasn't for me and Bree,

you'd still be playing mancala

or watching The Wiggles
like a dumbshit.

I can fit only one.

My point is, you owe us, Sky.

So I'm gonna need you
to get in the car and get us

- our marijuana.
- Whoa...

You brought money, right?

Ow.

No, no, no! Front seat!

Um, I, uh, I would love
one $20 marijuana bag,

uh, and yeah, that's about it.

Huh.

What your name is?

Um... Sky.

How do you feel
about the ocean, Kyle?

The ocean?
Uh, well, I, you know,

I don't really like the beach
too much.

- Um, sand gets in my butthole.
- m*therf*cker! He found me!

Whoa...

Ow.

sh*t! sh*t! sh*t!

f*cking fish!
They'll tell him everything!

f*ck!

Here. Go. Get the f*ck out.

f*ck off! f*ck you! Go!

Guys, guys, guys, guys.
Get this.

Bree?

Tiffany?

Guys?

We're supposed
to smoke the stems, right?

My cousin says they're the best.

They got, like,
extra marijuana in them.

Give it here.

- Don't take it all.
- Guys, I have
to tell you something.

If you have to poop, just go
to the backyard like last time.

No, it's not... it's not that.

Check this out.

It's V. Compound V.

Like on the news.

The... It...
it gives you superpowers.

Sky, we're not doing
your liquid meth.

Just hurry up
and take a hit of the joint.

Oh, man, I'm fi... I'm good.

Take a hit, loser!

Oh, it's great.

Okay.

They're right.

No way this is V.

f*ck it.

Oh. Ew.

Oh, man.

I real... I really hope
that wasn't meth.

- Hello?
- Oh. Oh. Who's there?

- Help! Get me out of here.
- What?! H-How?

- On the count of seven
you need to push.
- Why seven?

One... seven!

What the...?

Aah! Aah! Whoa! Whoa!

- Whoa!
- Whoa!

Oh, wow.
This-this can't be happening.

- This-this actually
can't be happening.
- This can't be happening.

How'd I get here?

Who am I?

Hey, I ate that marble
when I was a kid.

I never saw it come out. Wait.

Is that... is that corn?

Junior high school.

Rachel Weiner's
Mexican-themed bat mitzvah.

It was the first time
I had elote,

and then I farted
while doing "Cotton-Eyed Joe"

and blamed Alyssa Kirkwood
because she was six eight.

But you knew that.

It's like we're...

Connected.

Please!
I swear I don't have the V!

The kid, Kyle,
she had the body type of Snoopy.

I swear, she took it.

How do I find her?

- I don't know.
- No, you don't seem
to understand.

This is how I convince Vought

to finally put me back
in The Seven.

So I'm pretty f*cking motivated
to find this V right now.

She phoned me! For dr*gs!

Oh-ho!
Thanks for the help.

Do whatever you want.

Oh. Thank you.

I wasn't talking to you.

Oh.

Aah...!

- What's wrong?
- It's just...

I hate the way I look.

I wish I was pretty, like you.

Like me?

Well... well, I think
you look really beautiful.

Thank you.

Maybe tomorrow we can,
um, do a soft wave.

I would love to do
a soft wave on you.

By the way,
um, do you have a name?

I don't think so, no.

What name would you give me?

Well, my mom's name
was Georgia, and, uh,

I-I always loved that name.

Makes me think of her
when I hear it.

Wow. But would it be okay
if I named myself Areola

instead of Georgia,
'cause I feel like Georgia,

I... I just think
it sounds like sh*t.

Oh, yeah. Oh, for sure, yeah.

I... 'Cause I love that name
as well, too. It's so...

Thanks. Thank you.

It's an homage to my, uh,
Italian heritage.

So, do you have superpowers
of any kind?

Because I-I certainly
didn't get any.

I think I have one, yeah.

What-what do you think?

Oh, wow, I think that... Wow.

But not sure
if that's a superpower.

Here, I want you
to watch it again.

Areola,
did you hear something?

I don't have ears, Sky.

- Then how do you...
- What?

Aah!

What's up, Kyle?

What the f*ck is that?

Where's Areola?
And when can I see her?

- Sorry, who?
- Areo... My-my turd.

- When can I see my turd?
- Oh, that's not possible, Sky.

It's being studied
in our research lab.

Research lab?

But... but she was my friend.

Look, I understand
this must be so confusing.

Which is why,
on behalf of Vought,

we can offer you this.

$100,000?!

It's $1,000,

but we'll also throw in
this refurbished iPad.

- Whoa.
- All you have to do
is walk out of here,

never, ever speak
of this ever again,

and get back to your happy life.

But... my life wasn't
so happy before.

Okay, you need to go now.

Bye.

f*ck.

All right!

Areola!

- Sky!
- Come on.

Why'd you let her back in?

She said
she forgot her inhaler.

Sky, no!

If they catch you, we'll
never see each other again.

- But...
- I promise I will find you.

On the count of seven.

One... whoa!

Whoa...!

Oh, my God!

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
I was just here taking a sh*t.

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Areola?

Areola?

It's like we're...

Connected.

Ow! Ow.

- Sky?
- Areola?

Sky, I didn't know
if you'd come.

Of course I'd come.
That's what friends do.

That is
the f*cking grossest thing

I've ever seen,
and I've seen gross.

Oh, f*ck.

It's over, Kyle.

Or Sky.

Hand over the turd.

No, wait.
Put the turd in this bag.

No. She's my friend.

O-Okay, this is
so f*cking bananas.

Just do it, okay?

What, are you sh1tting me?

This is my turf.

Well, not exactly my turf,
because sewer runoff

and overflow into the ocean's
a major problem today.

I don't know if you've heard,
but I've been raising awareness

for this cause.
I've talked to a lot...

You're powerful, Sky.

You've always been powerful.

Since you took the V, I mean.

I'm not the special one.

You are.

...you're gonna have
to donate some money

to our giant piggy bank
I created.

I'm gonna break it with a hammer
when it's all full.

What the f*ck are you doing?

I'm just asking for help

from a few new friends.

That's
your f*cking power?

You can control sh*t?

Well, it's better
than yours, dickface.

Rise up, my turd friends!

f*ckin' turds!

f*ck this noise.
I'm out of here.

Oh, yeah!

Hey, loser.

We're going to hookah,
and we need your debit card.

Sorry, Tiff.
I got plans with friends, bitch.

What in the actual f*ck?

Ew! What the f*ck!?

Right on time...

to get b*at.

Ah, we'll see about that.