- The hunters got your mother,
baby eagle.
But you're gonna be okay.
[Gasps]
- [shrieks]
- Mount brickleberry
is a volcano?
[Rustling]
- There is much
about brickleberry
You do not know,
ethel anderson.
- How did you know
my name?
- Our gods tell us
many things.
- Also, once we google
"Spring break 2008
a**l creampie,"
Safe search off.
Your picture come up.
- Nice to meet you
in person.
- Can we get back to the part
about the volcano, please?
- Our tribe has legend.
One day, brickleberry
will be no more.
Volcano is sign.
- Come with us to
our people's most holy place.
Gods create brickleberry.
Hope it last many season.
- But one day,
gods tire of brickleberry.
- Say, once people
of brickleberry entertain us,
Make us laugh.
Now, no one watch
their adventures.
- Seasons end.
Gods not renew.
- People say, gods,
bring back brickleberry.
Start online petition.
Gods not listen.
- If our world's about to end,
why don't you look worried?
- Because we're looking
at this.
- Whoo! Spring break,
mother[bleep]!
- [Donkey brays]
- [Screams]
- ♪ Brickleberry
- So I surveyed the volcano
and, scientifically speaking,
It is very unlikely
to erupt.
- Well, I just wanna say,
if that thing does erupt,
We will not evacuate!
- Well, we'll kinda have to.
- I...don't...evacuate.
I didn't evacuate
during the forest fires of '96,
The flood of '01,
or the--
- Wait, I thought you said
you evacuated during katrina.
- No, I said I evacuated
on katrina.
Great girl, katrina.
I would've married her
If she wasn't such a prude
in the bedroom.
"No a**l"
blah, blah, blah.
- Sorry to interrupt,
But I'm gonna need, like,
a half day off tomorrow...
To give birth.
- [Gasps]
- wha-wha-wha-wha-what!
- You're pregnant?
- Yeah, for nine months.
I can't believe none of you
noticed my baby bump.
- Your body has a lotta bumps.
We can't keep track
of what they all are.
- Well, this one's a baby.
Wait.
No, this one's a baby.
Uh, I think.
- I'd like to meet the guy
that had sex with you.
Is he still in there?
- I'm a surrogate mother,
silly.
Helping a nice gay couple
have a baby.
- Hang on! Y'all ignoring
the elephant in the room.
- What? Connie never gets
this much attention.
- How is everybody so calm?
A volcano's about to go off,
And connie's obviously
giving birth to the antichrist.
It's the end
of the mother[bleep] world!
- Here he goes again.
- Yeah.
- Denzel, last year, you saw
the face of the antichrist
In 12 different slices
of burnt toast.
- Yeah. Maybe the toaster
was set on "anti-crust."
- [Laughing]
[bleep] you, toaster!
- Laugh all you want,
but I know the antichrist.
When I was young,
I spent a lotta time in church,
And my preacher said
the antichrist was real.
- [Speaking in tongues]
Abba abba foray
seba doo-dah sah dah dey dey.
Oohra suli rah-dah-dah-diddy!
Aah dah da oh!
- At least,
that's what I think he said.
- Denzel,
you're being ridiculous.
- All I'm saying is,
virgin birth, nice-looking?
Jesus christ.
Virgin birth, connie-looking?
Antichrist.
- Uh, guys?
I think my...
Yep, my water broke.
All: ugh!
- Connie,
your baby's gay parents
Should be on their way
to the hospital now.
- Oh, good.
- Uh, they should be,
But they just d*ed
in a hilarious car accident.
- What!
Oh, no.
- Don't fret, connie.
It's very easy
to sell a white baby.
Ka-ching!
- No, I'm keeping it.
- Well, good for you.
And bad for dubai's
open air baby-sl*ve market.
Now, connie, labor can sometimes
take 24 to 48 hours.
So prepare yourself
for a long--
- Whoa!
[Baby crying]
- Damn it, bodean.
I told you to pack our sh*t,
not our sheep!
- Oh, hey, woody.
What are you doing here?
Ain't you supposed
to be evacuating like us?
- Boys, you know
I don't evacuate.
I laugh in the face
of hurricanes, earthquakes,
Godzilla, even nicki minaj.
But just between us,
I'm terrified of volcanoes.
- Why's that?
- Have you ever heard
of pompeii?
- Yeah, I caught that
by screwing bobby's sister.
- Yeah.
She gave it to me too.
- No, you idiots.
Pompeii was an ancient city
that was destroyed by a volcano.
The people
were all covered with lava,
Frozen forever doing whatever
they were doing when they d*ed.
What if I get covered
with lava
While I'm doing
something embarrassing?
Like this guy.
- That's how my daddy went.
We had to have
a closed casket.
- Focus, hillbillies!
Now I can't have
no archaeologist of the future
Finding me and thinking
I'm some kind of perv
Just 'cause a volcano got me
while I was milking my prostate.
For health reasons.
Boys, can you build me
a secret volcano-proof bunker?
- We already got one.
We built it to survive
the obama-lypse.
- This is my beautiful baby.
His name is donnie.
- Aww!
- What a pretty name!
- Thanks.
I got it out of a book.
I didn't have time to
go through the other book.
- "Bacardi, listerine,
arugula."
- Oh, there's my shopping list.
[Laughs]
Now, connie,
I'm sorry about this,
But federal guidelines dictate
That I don't have
to let you breastfeed at work
Unless you got a real sweet set
of milkies.
- What's wrong with my boobs?
- Besides the fact that you also
have a back set?
- Aah! Antichrist!
Antichrist!
- This is going too far,
denzel!
- That baby's evil.
I'll prove it!
- How?
- Through science.
[Cocks g*n]
If I sh**t it in the face
and it lives, it's the devil.
- Okay! Okay!
sh**t it
if it will shut you up.
- No!
I thought you were
my friend, denzel!
How could you say those
horrible things about my baby?
[Crying]
- It's just a baby, denzel.
- This has got to stop.
You really upset connie.
- Next time don't hesitate.
Aim for the fontanelle.
- All right! Enough with
the black baby names.
I guess I should apologize
to connie and donnie.
- Leave the g*n!
- Fine!
Connie, I'm sorry...
- [Farts]
- Uh, donnie, I'm not good
at this apology stuff, but...
I'm sorry I said
you were the antichrist.
Maybe when you grow up
a little, you and I can--
- [Demonic voice]
apology accepted.
- Oh, thanks, donnie.
You're pretty cool.
Wait, you can talk?
- Denzel, I'm going
to rip out your d*ck
And feed it
to the demons of hell!
[Growling]
- [Screaming]
- ♪ Oh, who's my cute baby?
♪ You're my cute baby!
♪ I love my cute baby
♪ 'Cause he's a cute baby!
♪ Cute, cute, cute, cute,
baby, baby, cute! ♪
♪ Love him! Cute!
- He said he was going
to rip my d*ck off
And feed it to a demon.
He the g*dd*mn
antichrist!
- Seriously?
That sounds horrifying!
I'm about
to eat a hot pocket.
You want to double-check
it's not beelzebub
Before I pop it
in the microwave?
- Hot pocket!
[All laughing]
You're fat!
- Okay, then why does
that happen?
- [Humming]
- There's a simple scientific
explanation, denzel.
Clearly, pesticides have
built up in the groundwater.
[Donnie crying]
[Birds chirping]
[Birds shrieking]
- And how does science
explain that sh*t?
- There are several
avian disorders
That can cause birds
to die mid-flight.
- Oh, yeah?
Well, what about that?
- Hey, look!
It's a sunny circle
and a happy star!
- Aww.
- Yep.
- That sounds about right.
- Aw, come on!
- You can stay with me
in the bunker, cubsie wubsie.
Everyone else will
die in a firestorm of lava.
- Why don't we just move,
you [bleep] maniac!
- And voo-la!
Our top secret bunker.
- So is this the elevator
to the bunker?
- Are you sure this thing
is volcano-proof?
- Oh, it's everything-proof.
Keeps out zombies,
draculas, dragons...
- And jews.
- Hot dog!
It's like a dream come true!
- And once this door
is closed,
It can't ever be opened
from the outside.
Ever.
I mean, ev-er.
- Uh-oh, bobby.
I think we put the door
on backwards.
- Holy sh*t!
You mean we're trapped
in here forever?
- Oh, no, not forever.
Just till we die.
- Well, thanks for boosting
my spirits, [bleep]face!
- Steve,
you're my best friend.
Just give me a chance to prove
what that baby really is.
- [Groans]
not this again.
- Come on, steve!
This volcano blew its top
on the day donnie was born.
It's a sign
of the apocalypse!
Look at the clouds
around it!
[Ominous music]
- All I see is an elephant
flying an airplane and--
Wait, what's that?
A giraffe with titties.
- Damn, you stupid, steve.
- Hey, connie.
How's the baby?
- I've come to realize
That donnie is different
from other babies.
- It's about time!
We gotta k*ll--
- He's gifted!
He's so smart,
He likes watching baby einstein
videos backwards.
Look.
- k*ll, k*ll, k*ll.
Sa--sa-tan.
- Satan.
My sweet satan.
- It's weird.
I learn as much from donnie
as he learns from me.
Like today, he's been
teaching me biblical aramaic!
- Al es-bataar qumran
iskatu rakanoth!
- Isn't he the cutie-wutest?
- So, um, connie?
How exactly
was this baby conceived?
- It was a pretty standard
artificial insemination.
- Okay, my dear,
this won't take a minute.
[All chanting]
ave satanas! Sanguis bibimus!
- [Roaring]
- Oh, hell, no.
You guys are messing
with me, right?
- Thanks for coming by,
but I gotta feed donnie now.
- So we're stuck down here
the rest of our lives?
- At least you're old
and near death.
Think of me.
- Great! What are we supposed
to do now?
- Repopulate the earth!
Who wants some?
- Anything else we can do?
- I did install
an activity center.
Who wants to play sorry?
- Uh, bobby?
All the pieces are missing.
- Damn you, goodwill!
- Oh, you two morons
are really f*ring up
My irritable bowel syndrome.
Now where's the shitter
in this tootincommon tool shed?
- Oh, it's right over--
uh, uh, eh...
sh*t!
Where is the bathroom?
- Well, remember, bobby,
You decided to go
with the crown molding
Instead of the toilet.
- Well, somebody's gotta think
about resale value.
- No bathroom?
I've got to go!
- Try to take your mind
off of it.
Here, have a snack.
- We got prunes, coffee,
refried beans.
And for dessert we got them
chocolate ex-lax candies.
- [Grunts]
- Sorry I doubted you, denzel.
- Don't sweat it.
We just need some help from...
Preacher vernon?
- Eh?
- The antichrist has come.
Just like you said.
- I said that?
- Uh, kind of.
- What should we do?
- Let me see
what the snakes say.
[Snakes hissing]
Oh, he like to bite.
Gotta put him back.
They say...
We got to do a exorcism.
- Did you say "exorcism"?
- I don't know.
I got a lot of snake venom-
related brain malfunction.
Where am i?
Who put these snakes
in my pants?
- ♪ Old macdonald had a farm,
e-i-e-i-o! ♪
♪ And on this farm,
he had a... ♪
- Cacodaemon.
- Cacodaemon? Okay.
♪ With a...
- [Demonic growl]
- ♪ Here, and a...
- [Demonic growl]
- ♪ There. Here a...
- [Demonic growl]
- ♪ There a...
- [Demonic growl]
- ♪ Everywhere a...
- [Demonic growl]
- ♪ Old macdonald had a farm
Both: ♪ e-i-e-i-o!
- Oh, antichrists love
old macdonald.
Just like it say
in the bible.
- Okay. We got holy water,
sharpened stakes,
And a dvd of evil dead 3
for him to sign.
We ready.
- But what chance
do the three of us have
Against the prince of evil?
- The four of us.
I'm in.
- I thought
you only believed in science.
- Oh, I did,
then I baby-sat little donnie.
He puked up
a giant lizard bat,
Then said something about my mom
sucking [bleep] in hell.
[Bleep] science.
Let's exorcise that bitch!
- All right!
Everybody grab a snake!
Now lady, feel free to grab
the one-eyed black one,
But don't you dare
touch my penis.
That belong to jesus.
- Hi, connie, i--
- Shh! It's little donnie's
nap time.
He can't sleep
unless I play classical music.
[Ominous music]
♪
It's because
he's so intelligent.
Do you want to hold him?
[Demonic growl]
- No!
[Music stops]
I mean,
I just came to tell you
The whole g*ng sprang
for a spa day for you!
Because you must be so tired
from taking care of a newborn,
Not evil baby.
- [Groans]
I am pretty worn out.
Donnie drank most
of my blood for lunch.
- Mmm!
Well, steve and denzel
and their friend
Can't wait to take care
of donnie.
- Well, maybe
for a few minutes.
I'm so excited!
I can't believe kate upton
has a side business
Where she gives
erotic massages to completion.
- Yep.
She'll be here any minute.
Just relax.
Let's get rid of those
puffy bags under your eyes!
[Light saber sound effects]
- Zap, boom, boom, boom.
- Zzzzz!
Woo woo woo!
- Zibby zap zap zap.
- Shoom. Boom!
- Boom, zam.
- Bring it on, darth,
you big black son of a bitch.
- [Mimicking filtered breathing]
Luke, I am your daddy.
- No. Wait.
Are you serious, bobby?
- I'ma k*ll you!
I'ma k*ll you!
- [Bleep] you!
Get off me!
Get off me!
- This is definitely better
than those horrible prequels.
- [Grunts]
I'm prairie dogging.
- Quiet! Luke's about
to bite anakin's nose off.
- Oh, I gotta
take a sh*t so big
Kim kardashian
may try to marry it.
I gotta get outta here.
[Yelling]
Aha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
Uh-oh.
- This is it?
You four think
you can stop me?
- Don't listen to him.
He'll use his lies to try
to make us turn on each other.
- The preacher said
you're a p*ssy.
- What?
- What's wrong with you?
- Like that.
That's a good example
of what we shouldn't let him do.
- [Laughing]
- Oh, laugh now, antichrist.
Because surprise!
We've assembled
an exorcism dream team!
Father quinn!
- I'm going to need to be alone
with the child.
You don't have
a nanny cam, right?
- Rabbi maltzman!
- No, no.
You stay in there, demon.
As long as you're comfortable.
I schlepped all the way here
from brooklyn.
But don't worry about me.
- And witch doctor kuzniak!
- Lucky for us, I went
to medical school in haiti.
- And jorge,
who's seen the exorcist
7 1/2 Times
and let us use his car.
- I'm not with them!
I'm on your side!
- Jorge, shut up.
- Come on,
let me sell you my soul.
I'll sign whatever contract
ben affleck signed.
Whatever!
- [Sighs]
I was up for a challenge.
This is going to be
far too easy.
- The power of christ
compels you!
The power of christ
compels you!
- Shut up.
[All exclaim]
So who wants to choose
how I will k*ll the rest of you?
- Blowjobbed to death?
- You got it.
By rabid hell hounds.
And here we--
[Crying]
- I'm going to write kate upton
a not-so-nice yelp review.
Ethel, what the hell's
going on here?
- We're doing an exorcism
on your crazy-ass devil baby!
- And we almost got blowjobs,
until you showed up!
- Connie, we've got
to trust the lord.
Just like it say
in the bible:
"If the exorcism
don't go so bueno,
Throw that g*dd*mn baby
in a volcano." Ha!
- What? No!
- Sorry, connie,
But it's the only way
to stop the apocalypse.
- You're lucky
we got a volcano right here.
Most people with devil babies
gotta pay
For a plane ticket to hawaii.
- Screw you guys!
Come on, donnie.
I'll protect you,
I promise!
- Get her!
That baby owes us blowjobs!
- ♪ Run away with cute baby!
♪ They're trying
to k*ll my cute baby! ♪
♪ Cute, cute, cute, cute
♪ sh*t, sh*t, sh*t, sh*t
I bet they'll never find me here
at the top of the volcano.
Ah, crap.
- You've got to throw
the baby in, connie.
He's the devil!
- Never!
Donnie is a perfectly
normal baby!
- Mom?
- What is it, honey?
- I've got something that's kind
of hard for me to tell you.
I'm...
- Gay?
- No, I'm the son of satan.
- Oh, that's a relief.
- I was afraid you'd--
- Get mad and throw you
in a volcano?
Donnie, I love you
no matter what you are.
I'm your mother.
- Connie, he just told you
he's satan's son!
What does it take, lady?
- I got this.
Aww.
How could I separate
a mama and her baby?
Like this!
- [Grunts]
Ahhh!
- [Gulps]
- Noooo!
[Crying]
[Satanic laughter]
- Okay, here's what happened.
It actually says here,
"Do not throw a devil baby
in a volcano."
Do not.
Okay, I'm gonna be honest.
Ain't no words
in this book.
- Damn it, vernon!
- Never listen to a man
drunk on snake venom.
Just like it say right here
in the bible.
- Let the apocalypse begin!
[Laughing]
- Oh, sh*t!
- [Satanic laughter]
[All growling]
[Both screaming]
- No, no, no!
I said, "put it in her cooter,
then her pooter."
- Ohhh!
- There!
Thank you, prunes.
I think we're okay.
[All yelling]
- Oh, well.
Brickleberry last more season
than I thought it would.
- I guess this is it, guys.
- Denzel, I have something
to confess.
I ate one of your kit kats
a couple of weeks ago.
- Oh, we even.
I [bleep] your grandmother.
- Ethel, I have to confess.
I may have given you
a few unnecessary pelvic exams.
- Every stripper
in my club has a dong.
- Even the one that gave me
a tug job on my birthday?
- [Laughing]
Especially that one!
Hoo! She's got a biggy!
- I love you guys.
- Donald sutherland cunaman!
What do you think you're doing,
young man?
I did not raise you
to end creation!
- Mom!
- You cut it out, right now!
- You're embarrassing me
in front of my friends!
- Well, if they only like you
Because you're causing
the apocalypse,
They're not real friends,
are they?
- Mom!
- I'm going to count to three.
One...two...
- [Sighs]
fine! Whatever!
Sorry, guys,
my mom is being lame.
We'll do this later,
Like after she dies
on august 30, 2042.
- I'm proud of you, son.
- I gotta go, mom.
I kinda belong down there.
- My little baby's
all grown up.
- See you in hell, ma.
- See you in hell, son.
- [Growls]
- The apocalypse is over!
We're saved!
[All cheering]
- But where's
woody and malloy?
- This next exhibit was found
In the ancient ruins
of brickleberry park.
These three people
and a small bear
Were covered by lava
when a volcano erupted
While they were having
what appears to be a gay orgy.
The brickleberry four-way
is all we know
About what life was like
in the 21st century.
- Hmm. It must have been
a paradise.
- We believe it was.
We believe it was.
- Ow!
[Upbeat music]
♪
02x13 - A-Park-a-Lypse
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Series follows a group of park rangers as they work through their daily lives in the fictional Brickleberry National Park.
Series follows a group of park rangers as they work through their daily lives in the fictional Brickleberry National Park.