01x05 - Roll the Dice

[bunniefuu]

Boys!
Our favorite radio show is about to start!

-Hey!

You're not playing
with my lucky tire again, are ya?

Of course not, dearest Kettle.

-Hmm…
Live from beautiful Inkwell City…

Phew!

…it's everyone's favorite
game show, Roll the Dice!

Featuring
your master of ceremonies,

King Dice!

All right.
Let's jump right in!

Who will be the first lucky contestant
to Roll the Dice?

-Will it be…
-Oh, me!

You!

-Yay!
-All right, Telephone!

It's your lucky day, sir.
Get on up here and Roll the Dice.

Ah, ah, ah!

Don't touch.

Now, all you gotta do
is make it through three rounds,

then you get to enter
the mystery prize room.

First up, Name That Tune!

Ah! "Little Brown Jug."

-Correct!

Now, on to the trivia round!

Which is the only mammal that cannot jump?

Hmm…

The elephant.

-Correct!

-Yeah!

Show-offs.

Now, for the final game.
All you gotta do is Roll the Dice!

Roll any number
and you'll go to the mystery prize room.

Oh, oh…

We have a winner!

You are one lucky phone!

Now, off you go to the mystery prize room!

We'll be right back.

Hello?

Uh-oh.

Who's the host with the most, hmm?

You are, you handsome devil. Mwah!

Oh! You're terrible!

Now, we return
to your favorite radio game show,

Roll the Dice!

Who will be our next lucky contestant?

You! You're the next
contestant on Roll the Dice!

Welcome to the show! Now, let go of my leg
and tell us a little bit about yourself.

I'm Cuphead!
I like roller coasters, hot dogs,

tilt-a-whirl, hot dogs,
flying swings, hot dogs,

throwing up
and roller coasters in that order!

What a lovely introduction. I--

Wow! I can't believe
I'm standing next to the King Dice!

You're way shorter in person.

-So--
-Wait.

Everyone in town can hear this, right?

That's right. First--

That's for you, Jimmy!
And you know what for.

So, you're an entertainer, right?

I'm kind of entertaining too.
I got a joke for you.

These two cannibals are eating a clown,
and, uh… Wait. How did it go?

Uh…

Wait.

Now, a quick word from our sponsor.

We'll be right back.

Get me the boss.

Uh, hey, boss. Phone call.

Urgh. This better be important.

It's your number one calling.

Who?

King Dice? Your number one?

Dice, you know I'm very busy.
What do you want?

I just captured someone
you might be interested in.

A certain… cup?

You actually have him?

Just sit back, relax,
and I'll deliver his soul directly to you.

This is why you're my number one.

-Oh, and number one?
-Yes?

I hate disappointment.

And we're back!

First up, you need to--

Name That Tune!

Oh, that's too easy. It's…

Wait. I know this.

Hmm…

"Sprinkle, Sprinkle, Mr. Car"?

"Sprinkle, Sprinkle, Mr. Car"?!

Come on!

-No.
-Aw.

Hmm, then I better use my help line.

My brother, Mugman,
is the smartest person I know.

It appears
your help line is frozen in terror.

Oh, right.
Mugman's got really bad stage fright.

Aw, nuts!

I guess I lose.

Since your help line was frozen in terror,
you should get another chance.

Shouldn't he, folks?

-Give him another chance!

What's the name of your favorite song?

-Beautiful.

Okay, Cuphead. Name this tune.

But you just asked me my favorite song.

Which song?

"The Daring Young Man
on the Flying Trapeze"?

-Correct!

Yay!

And now, on to the--

Trivia round!

Isn't he great, folks?

Now, the dreaded Poodoo Cave Monster
lives in which cave?

Hmm…

The "Poodoo Cave" Monster.
Let's just think out loud a little.

Say the name of the cave monster.

Poodoo?

Correct!

Now, it's time to Roll the Dice!

Roll any number and go straight
to the mystery prize room.

Literally, any number.
It's basically impossible to lose.

Then I'll get what's coming to me!

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Wait! I remember how the joke goes!

Two cannibals are
hanging out eating lunch,

which is a clown, see?
'Cause they're cannibals.

One cannibal says to the other,
"Does this taste funny to you?"

We'll be right back.

No! We are not going to break!

Roll the Dice!

Roll the Dice! Roll the Dice!

Watch this.

How?

Aw, dang it. I guess I lost.

Oh, that's actually a good thing.

When the dice shatter, you go directly
to the mystery prize room, yay!

In you go.

Hey! He lost!

He's not supposed to get a prize.

This show is rigged!

-Shut up! Get in there!

Boo!

Rigged? Hmph!

Come on, Mugsy.
Let's leave with our dignity intact.

No! You have to win!

You're going in that room
one way or another.

Uh, Boss wants to see ya.

It's "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star"!

Uh, gee, Mr. King Dice, sir,
I know this is a little bit awkward,

but, um, could I get your autograph?

Not the time.

Hey-hey!

Oh, um…

You're way over there.

Done some redecorating, I see.

Uh…

Say, um, how--

So, Dice, you know Henchman, don't you?

Hi!

Yeah. I know Henchman.

He's a big fan of your show.
Never misses an episode.

Is… is that a fact?

He was telling me that tonight,
you had your first loss. Ever.

Look, I can explain!

Silence!

Huh?

You had him
right in the palm of your hand!

I am very, very disappointed!

Give a second chance to your number one!

You are no longer my number one.

And you will not be hosting
your precious little show.

But if I'm not hosting, then who?

Ladies and gentlemen!
Tonight's master of ceremonies,

the Henchman!

Uh, hi!

Time to Roll the D--

Whoa!