02x16 - What to Expect When You're Expecting Parasites

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hey ♪

Dad? He's gone under!

Somebody help!

I can see you up there.

Is that you, Turbish?

I'll do it.

Farewell, Turbish, you coward!

I'll save you, sire.

Sire?

Sire?

Bean, are you alive?

Move your leg if you're alive.

Ow.

Ah! A bird's pecking at me.

I'm chiseling as fast as I can.

That decade in the Butterscotch mine
is finally paying off.

What?

- Luci, give me a hand.
- This'll do.

♪ La-da-di, la-da-da ♪

It's stuck.

She ain't getting out of there
anytime soon.

Uh-oh.

Oh, wait a minute. Why am I falling?
I've got wings.

Let go, you battle toads!
You're too heavy.

No! Either we all survive,
or none of us do.

- That's the deal.
- That's not the deal.

- We made a deal.
- No, we did not.

I'm sure we did.

I signed a prenup secretly.

That says what? We break up?

I don't know. I can't read.

Um, Luci...

- Shut up, Elfo.
- Shut up, Elfo.

Careful, boys.

This is the spot where my dad disappeared.

Don't worry.
We're well beyond the crab zone.

Well, my wish just came true.

What's your wish, Bean?

Very funny, guys. Quit playing around.

What is this place?

Ugh! I hope somewhere with towels.

It's just like that play castle
Dad forced the servants to build

and populate with their own children,
so I could learn to boss people around.

Yeah. Dad?

Luci?

Elfo!

Oh, no!

What have they done to you
my poor, sweet, brave, beautiful Elfo?

Go on.

But keep it quiet.

Oh, my... What did I just say?

Elfo, what the hell happened?

God, you're so bad
at following instructions!

I'm hiding from the enemy.

There's a free pedestal.

Get on it and make like a statue.

I'm not doing that.

And you look ridiculous. Come on.

And lose the chafing dish.

You were nicer
when you thought I was dead.

So, what happened?
What pulled you under water?

I can't remember.

I passed out.
You know, from being so brave.

All right, let's go find Zøg and Luci
'cause this needs a buffer.

Dad? Luci? Dad?

- Luci?
- Luci?

- Luci!
- Luci!

Luci!

- Luci!
- Don't worry, Luci.

You still have your best feature...
your giant schnozzola.

I should kick your ass for that.

- Have you seen Luci?
- You are Luci.

No, my body, dimwit.

It's the lower part that does
the bad things the upper part thinks of.

Eh, there you are.

Jab. Cross.

- Jab! Hook!
- Ow! Missed me.

Cross!

Now kick him in the grapes.

They're not that small.

All right, kick him in the plums.

That's better. Thank you.

Ow!

Oh, my grapes.

Okay, that's enough.

I let it go on for too long.

Ow!

There was a moment where I missed you...

- Mmm.
- ...and now we're back.

So, what grabbed you guys?

They were these disgusting little
sea slugs with teeth as sharp as nails,

nails as sharp as claws
and claws as sharp as teeth.

Barely got away with my life.

What about my dad? Where'd they take him?

Ah. Somehow we got separated
when I ran away and didn't look back.

We have to find him.

Really?
What has Zøg done for me lately?

The guy still thinks I'm a cat.

Excuse me, but I'm a demonic agent
of chaos and destruction

who just happens to like belly rubs.

Bean, last time I checked,
you like your belly rubbed.

- Yea or nay?
- Yea.

Okay, I'm doing this one time.

- Don't make me sorry.
- That feels good, man.

Okay, too far. You went too far.

- Bean, I owe you.
- Okay.

Let's go get my dad.

God... Everything in this place
is so cute and clammy.

Whoa! I think we're in an elf castle.

Why build a castle
at the bottom of the sea?

Yeah, we don't even like taking baths.

Hey, dumbasses, wasn't always underwater.

It was attached to Dreamland Castle.

Oh, no. Dad! They're k*lling him.

Oh, good. We're too late.

Shall we just save ourselves then?

Inka-binka, tinka-binka. Damn it.

Dad, no!

Back off, you slime bags,
or I'll stomp your guts out.

Bean, what the hell are you doing?

Aren't they tryin' to k*ll you?

- You screamed.
- Of course I screamed. With glee!

Look! These hideous freaks are sittin'
on a veritable gold mine of jewels

and gold!

Can you believe it? We're rich!

What do you mean, "We're rich"?

Isn't it their stuff?

What she means is what's more important
is that we're rich on the inside.

I can't believe you're that greedy, Elfo.

What you laughing at?

Oh, the rubies are tickling my nipples.

Can we go now?
This one's looking at me funny.

Hello.

Welcome to the home of the sea Trøgs.

I am King Dripo.

Yeah, uh, great.

Anyway, where did you get all this gold
and treasure and baubles and loot?

What is this gold and money you speak of?

All the sparklies here, we find
in the ships that sink from the surface.

It's a gift from the water.

Thanks, water!

- And this castle?
- Is our home.

We moved in ages ago.

Zero percent down.

Well, why did you bring us here?

We thought he was
a delicious walrus to eat.

But then we realized his face was the same
as the gold-face man from the coins.

You're a celebrity down here.

Coin man, coin man.

Clumpy dumpy coin man!

So we invite you as guest of honor
at our special brunch this afternoon.

Oh, um, that's really nice of you,
but we can't stay, we have so much...

Time on our hands.

Of course, we can stay.

It'd be rude of us not to take advantage
of their gullibility.

- Gullibility?
- Gullibility?

I'm so sorry.
My Dad didn't mean to offend you.

Well, that's quite all right.

We don't have thoughts. It's mostly mucus.

Yeah.

Hey, Dripo, uh, since we're hanging out,

eh, how about you
show me around your castle?

Uh, your vaults, the place where you keep
your wheelbarrows?

Okay, but watch your step.

We've got a terrible emerald problem.

Bean, Elfo, you know what to do.

Okay, so you're just gonna
blindly follow my dad's orders?

Bean, I'm well aware of
the moral implications of what I'm doing.

But I'll have plenty of time
to worry about that

when I'm rolling in tickle rubies.

Mmm.

Dad, you gotta quit stealing.

You're embarrassing me
and Dreamland and humanity.

Me? What about Elfo?

He ain't even human.

Ow, my raisins.

Humph. There's no talking to him.
Elfo's gone Elfo.

I'm a noun and a verb.

What's that?

Sea salt, ginger, a hint of lemon juice
over lightly seared my cousin Roger.

You might want to eat around
the venom sac.

Enjoy!

Uh, pass the cousin Roger
and coleslaw, please.

Oh...

Am I seeing things
or did my food just wink at me?

Shh! I'm still alive.

Smuggle me out your large intestine.

Thank you.

You know, this place
reminds me of that old story.

- You remember, Beanie?
- What? No.

Ah! You know... about how we stole
Dreamland from the elves.

It was my favorite bedtime story.

- What the hell?
- Elfo, please.

- What the hell?
- You cuddly fascist!

Hey, I always just figured
it was a fairy tale, you know?

Each daddy king
tells his future kiddy king.

Though I did wonder
why I was sworn to secrecy

and threatened with death
if I ever told any of my friends.

What? I thought we were the heroes.

Turns out we're the bad guys.

After dessert, this means w*r.

Uh, it was a long time ago.

No hard feelings, huh, Elfo?

I'm gonna s*ab your eyeballs
out with this mini fork.

To Elfo that's a regular fork.

I respect your death thr*at.

Now hand me that silver gravy boat,
and let's b*at it!

This is crazy.

My whole plan to rule
is about kindness and acceptance

and being regarded as that queen
who's also cool.

Yeah, baby.

Dad, we have to atone
for what our ancestors did.

That means, no taking things
that don't belong to us.

Ah, damn it!

Why'd I have to have a daughter
who can think?

Let's just get out of here, huh?

Oh, you must stay!

The mating ritual
is about to begin. Ha-ha.

Yeah. No, sorry.

Mmm. We ain't so keen on seein'
a bunch of slugs going at it sluggy style.

- That's disgusting.
- No, it is not disgusting. I hope?

These people were here before us.

They shared cousin Robbie with us.

- Uh, it's Roger.
- Right.

We need to respect their culture,

so we're going to sit here
and enjoy this nasty mating ritual.

And maybe after that,
they can come see our mating ritual.

We've got a freaky secret society
I think you might actually really be into.

Oh, no. We could never go above water.

The sun dries us out instantly.

Oh, like this wrinkly cadaver?

That's my third wife, Rashi. But, yes.

Let the spawning begin.

Do it!

Noice.

Here, take this sacred pearl of...

Humans. They swipe our candy,
our castle, and now our jewels.

And then when they're done with us,
they chuck us in the ocean.

That's the human way.

- Dad, no!
- Oh, let him have it, Bean.

Pearls don't go with your
whole tomboy femme thing anyway.

No! Give it back!

Oh, great.
Look what you did. A diplomatic incident.

No!

Damn it.

Yes!

No!

Come on.

What the hell?

Ho!

Striker? What are you doing down here?

Speak up. Are you in there?

Tell Turbish... I... hate him.

Ho, ho!

Hey, it's Princess What's-Her-Name
of Dreamland!

Sven?

The Viking from Who Cares?

- Hey, girlie.
- Forget it.

You look hot tonight.

Uh-huh. What happened to you guys?

A lot since you dropped us
through that trapdoor.

Right. Oopsie. Sorry.

Of course.

And I don't hold a grudge.

Mostly just larvae.

Ew! Ugh!

Listen, Sven, can you tell me
exactly how this happened

in the least gross way possible?

That's going to be hard.

I got a lot of worms in my throat.

But anyway, we got invited to
the swing and mating ritual.

Mating ritual?

Oh, no! I gotta go.

Do you want me to put you
out of your misery?

No, it's okay.

I like being a dad.

Hi, everyone.

Guys, no time to explain.
Just cover your holes and let's roll.

We can't leave now, Bean.

Don't you want to watch the mating ritual
and give back all the stuff we stole

they so nicely said they won't k*ll us
for stealing?

We're respecting their culture, Bean.

- Respecting their culture.
- Respecting their culture.

Come on, Bean.
All the cool kids are doing it.

Join us.

I don't need to blink anymore. Join us.

- Join us.
- Oh...

Join us.

Oh, God.

It's not a cult, it's a religion.

- Join us.
- Read our pamphlets.

Stop whimpering, Derek. I see something.

I'm not whimpering, I have scurvy.

What the...

- You'll like it, Bean.
- Things are much better this way.

I used to be all like,
"Do it, do it, do it."

But now I'm like, "Or don't."

Yeah, I had this hang-up about my bum-bum,

but now I'm all, "Whatever, smack
that thing all you want."

Who needs treasure
when you got worms in your ass?

See, dear? It's not so bad.

And we're progressive.

Even females can have slime babies.

What about the people in the basement?

You turned them
into blob-hatching zombies.

You saw Carcass Cavern?

I mean, Human Host Hatchery?

I mean, Sleepy-time Nursery?

Oh, come on, Bean.
It's really not that bad.

It'll be over in a second.

Look, I'll put another one in.

See? Here it goes.

Oh, it tickles.
It tickles so much.

Ah... ah... ah!

See?

It's easy.

Do you want another one?

Um, I like the worms, but I don't like
the way they make me feel.

Turn her head.

Is rescue, or leave.

- Is, you baby blue goddess.
- Hop on!

Signal.

Elfo!

Argh! Gross.

Uh, guys, I'm a bloodthirsty pirate now,
so I don't care about nothing.

But, uh, where's Bean?

Help. Help!

Shut up, Nadia.

Help me! Anyone!

Oh, God! Actually, Satan! Please!

Daddy...

Mommy!

I'm sorry. I love you...

Open.

Oh, don't worry. Bean always makes it.

Yeah, always.

Damn it.

I gotta go.