02x05 - The Golden Age of Justice!

[bunniefuu]

Since whoever stole the golden skull is unwilling to come forward we're going to have to do this the hard way.

Isn't that right, Detective Chimp?

[GIBBERING]

Quite right, detective.

Those are cheap knockoffs of U.

S.

Army issue combat boots.

[GROWLING]

Uh, okay, okay.

I'm not a colonel.

I run a hot dog stand on the Lower East Side.

But I didn't swipe the skull, I swear.

PROFESSOR: What a repulsive creature.

[GASPS]

[GIBBERING]

[PROFESSOR GRUNTS]

As you can see, my partner isn't as patient as I am.

I'm not sure how long I can restrain him.

[GIBBERING]

I cheated my way through grad school.

This isn't my real nose.

I eat the leftovers from plates before I wash them.

Not so fast, Ms.

Gatsby.

We're not through yet.

Seems you people aren't the only fakes in here.

Are they?

[SCREECHES]

BATMAN: False Face.

[GASP]

FALSE FACE: Get off of me, you mangy monkey.

[SCREECHES]

[GRUNTING]

So long, you fallacious fat cats.

The jig's up, False Face.

You'll find behind prison bars that the truth hurts.

Excellent detective work, old chum.

Don't patronize me, old chum.

ANNOUNCER: With his army of evil on the march Per Degaton appears to have time on his side.

But when duty calls, they answer bringing the fight for freedom to the front lines.

They are the mystery men and women known as the Justice Society of America.

Wildcat packs quite a wallop.

A 10-ton t*nk is no match against the mighty Hourman.

That's clipping their wings, Hawkman.

Careful, Flash.

It's a minefield out there.

Sorry, Professor Zee, Dr.

Mid-Nite has no patience for evildoers.

That's freedom ringing in your ears, Per Degaton.

Compliments of Black Canary.

Degaton vanished along with his plans of conquering Europe.

But should he return, you can be sure justice never sleeps.

Although our heroes have sure earned a rest.

Don't grin too wide, Mid-Nite, you'll pop your dentures out again.

You're no spring chicken either, you old alley cat.

Well, look who's here to see their old pals, Black Canary and Batman.

What better time to visit our mentors than on their special day?

I hope you've been watching out for our little girl, Batman.

Now, who says I haven't been watching out for him?

Hey, we heard you nabbed Captain Cold and Mirror Master last week.

- Just doing my job.

- Too bad four of their henchmen got away.

I did save the city.

We trained you better than to be so sloppy.

Sounds like someone needs a refresher course in wrestling holds.

You mean now?

Step back, Canary, don't want you getting hurt.

Some things never change.

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

How's the target practice going, Canary?

Fine.

Attagirl.

[WILDCAT SHOUTS]

What are you sulking over here for?

- This is a party.

- I don't know if you noticed but I'm not a kid anymore.

I can see that.

Your mom would've been proud to see the woman you've become.

Then why is it every time we get together you treat Batman like the golden boy and me like I'm still wearing pigtails?

Hang on, kid.

Got some grown-up business to attend to.

Ugh, exactly my point.

[BEEPING]

- I saw him too.

- What could he be after in the JSA vault?

[BEEPING]

Just a few seconds more, master.

Breaking and entering a trophy room is a federal offense.

WILDCAT: Professor Zee?

He's after Degaton's Spear of Destiny.

Then too bad all he's gonna get is a knuckle sandwich.

[GRUNTS]

[ZEE GRUNTS]

Disarmed but not out, Batman.

My master lives, suspended in the anti-particles all these years.

[WHIRRING]

[CHUCKLES]

PER DEGATON: Wildcat, is that you, old friend?

No.

It can't be.

PER DEGATON: Ah, but it is, Wildcat.

Per Degaton is no longer a prisoner of time.

All you did was trade one prison for the new one we'll put you in.

[WILDCAT GRUNTING]

[LAUGHS]

A weak old relic.

You're the relic, Degaton.

The world got a lot tougher while you were sleeping.

Unh! I promise, you've never faced anything like me.

Heh, and she still didn't realize we'd taken off the training wheels.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[GRUNTING]

The brittle remains of the Justice Society of America.

How fitting to find you holed up in a museum with the other antiques.

Degaton?

But how?

Looks like we have to finish the job we started years ago.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

See, master?

Like dominoes, they fall.

Stay down, kid.

This fight's bigger than you're ready for.

Unh! I'm a superhero, not a Ming vase.

[GASPS]

How convenient that in my absence age has worn you down to your decrepit knees.

[GRUNTING]

[COUGHING]

- Degaton?

- Gone.

Easy, doc.

I ain't made of steel.

I'm afraid none of us are, not anymore.

The enemy we always underestimated has finally thwarted us: Time.

The residual energy from Degaton's escape left a unique quantum fingerprint that I can trace.

Good, because I'm not about to let some fossil drop a B-25 on me without getting an earful.

- Easy there.

- Hold up.

- Not so fast.

- On medical grounds, I must insist that you stay in the infirmary.

Medical grounds?

This is just a bump.

We'll catch up with them later.

In the meantime, Uncle Wildcat's gonna take good care of you.

This is an old w*r for old-timers, kid.

Your butt is sitting this one out.

You guys benched me for every important mission you went on.

- Because you weren't ready.

- And I never will be, right, Wildcat?

You always held me back, but treated Batman like an equal.

Kiddo, you don't know what you're talking about.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You sure you know how to work that gizmo?

Yes.

I built it.

You need to compress the radius after each ping.

Thank you.

I know.

Let me get in there, I could do it faster.

BATMAN: Some things never change.

[ALARM WAILING]

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

Seventy seconds?

Dreadful.

You rely way too much on those goofy gadgets.

And you gotta hit them with a good one-liner like: "The only vault you're gonna see is the solitary pen at Iron Heights Prison.

" At least we have one star pupil.

Keep up the good work, Canary.

What are you doing, son?

Day dreaming?

I found his position.

Let's move.

ZEE: I kept it for you all these years just like I've kept working on your master plan so that everything would be ready once I devised a way to release you.

[GRUNTS]

What good is a throne when I have no army?

Oh, don't worry, master, I've repaired your w*apon and have a much bigger surprise in store that will help our noble quest.

May not seem like it to you, but we give Bats a hard time too.

It's different with me.

You're right, kiddo, it sure is.

[SIREN WAILING]

Wildcat?

[COUGHS]

Where are the others?

Did they get everyone out?

Yeah, but we got separated in the blast [GRUNTS]

Come on, Canary, get up.

We need to move.

[WILDCAT GRUNTS]

Dinah, can you hear me?

Wake up.

[GROANS]

Ted, I need you to promise Promise me that you'll watch over my little girl.

Dinah.

No.

Dr.

Mid-Nite will be here and he can help.

It's too late, Ted.

But I need you to promise me, okay?

Watch over my little angel.

I'll never let her out of my sight.

[GROANS]

[SIGHS]

I never knew.

But I'm a grown woman now and because of you, I can look out for myself.

You're right.

Let's make the old lady proud and go bust some skulls.

[ALL SHOUTING]

All will kneel before Degaton and my robot army.

Soon the world's destiny will be mine to mold.

BATMAN: Your mechanized march of madness ends here, Degaton.

The only one kneeling today will be you at the feet of justice.

Good one, kid.

I'd suggest you kneel before me too but on second thought, I'd rather you didn't have the choice.

[GROANING]

[BATMAN GROANING]

[GASPS]

Much better.

Now you fit in with the other Justice Society relics.

Never underestimate the elderly, Degaton.

[BATMAN GRUNTS]

[GROANING]

PER DEGATON: With this, I can turn seconds into hours.

Speedster.

[GRUNTS]

[SHOUTS]

[GRUNTING]

Your hour of power, reduced to a mere second.

Poetry in motion, master.

[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE WHIRRING]

A shame to wither such a pretty little thing into an old hag.

Oh, well.

[GRUNTING]

I turn my back on you for two seconds and suddenly you're 80 years old and covered in robots.

If you two are done playing around, we need to get that spear.

Age before beauty.

[PER DEGATON GRUNTS]

- No, only the master can wield the spear.

- Move it, nerd.

Look alive, old man.

That's "senior citizen" to you, whippersnapper.

Now I'll show you what a nerd can do, you decrepit dolt.

[WILDCAT GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

Let's dance, poindexter.

Oh, nerts.

You, like your worthless mother, have heaped ruin upon my plans.

[GRUNTING]

Your bloodline ends now.

I could do this all day.

From the looks of it, you may have to.

They keep on coming.

Didn't your mother ever tell you it's not nice to hit a lady?

[GROANS]

[GRUNTING AND SHOUTING]

You would have made a fine general in my army, Batman, but look around.

You're outnumbered 20 to 1.

[GRUNTING]

One difference, my army has heart and never gives up.

Canary, time to bring down the house.

Okay, boys.

I'm going to entertain the troops.

No! Sings just like her mama.

PER DEGATON: You destroyed my men.

But they won't have d*ed in vain.

You'll join them in Valhalla.

Degaton, no! The spear's damaged, it'll [LAUGHING]

[GROANING]

Per Degaton sealed his fate the moment he tampered with time.

And the second he messed with the Justice Society of America.

Where is Zee?

[CRYING]

Well, I sure hope Iron Heights has a nursery.

Even without me barking in your ear, you turned into quite a hero.

Your old lady would've approved.

If we sometimes treat you like kids, it's because we think of you as our own.

Thanks, guys.

The Justice Society is more than just a superhero team it's a family.