01x13 - Game Over for Owlman!

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on batman: The brave and the bold
- Aah! [both grunting]


- The phase oscillator
-
- A bridge to parallel earths.

Owlman's a parallel me
-
- The evil one.


- Where you going?
- To get answers.

Red hood, stay down.

I'm here to help.


- You're from the parallel world.

Whoever he is, I hope my counterpart on your world Will have a chance to repay you.

[siren]


- Hands up, batman! You're under arrest!
- This is clearly a mistake.

I'll just explain.


- Your reign of terror in gotham is over, freak.


- Or maybe not.

[click]


- Hey! [coughing]


- What? [coughing]


- Batman's heading west on haney.


- Suspect known to be armed and very dangerous.


- I returned from the world of opposites Only to find my own has gone topsy
-turvy.

And according to the date, I'd been gone 3 weeks.

It seems the phase oscillator does more Than simply bridge worlds.

It warps time.

[alarm ringing]

Of course.

Looks like I wasn't the only one Playing dress
-up on a parallel world.


- Uhh!
- Uhh! Uhh! [both grunting]


- Welcome home, dark knight.


- Owlman.

You b*at my failsafe holding cell.


- Hunh!
- A titanium alloy [bototh grunting]


- And since you're alive, that means you defeated my friends And freed my enemies.

Impressive.

[both grunt]


- I bet you'd like the keys to your life back now, Such as it is.


- Uhh!
- And you'd like the phase oscillator So you can go home and prepare an invasion.


- Unh! Uhh!
- Uhh!
- You're a hard bat to pin down, old friend.

Hero one second, villain the next.


- Green arrow, the criminal you're after isn't me.

He's my evil double from a parallel world.


- Right.

Uhh!
- I have spider holes like this all over gotham, Built to surprise my enemies.

[sirens]

Never expected to use them to save myself.


- Bats knocked out 2 guards, Blew up a lot of cash and got away from me.

Whatever his game is, he's going down tonight.

And, no, Your assistance is not required.


- Bat's in my crosshairs.

Unh! Aah!
- Uhh!
- And to think, All those lectures you gave me About staying on the straight and narrow.

How does he do that?
- Uhh! Uhh! [beep]


- No response from the car.

Of course.

Owlman stole it and reprogrammed it.


- Blind alley.

He's trapped.


- So this is how it ends.

Not in a battle against criminals, But taken down by my own best friends.


- How does he do that?
- Uhh! Uhh! Uhh!
- Tsk, tsk, tsk, batman.

Our game was so simple
-
- Brooding hero, dashing devil
-may
-care villain.

I strap you to a drill press, You lock me in a rubber room.

And it's fits and giggles till aunt fannie comes home.

But if you think you can switch sides And out
-criminal the clown prince of crime, It's only fair to warn you, I always blow away the competition.


- Recently, business has been lousy, But I'm about to make a real k*lling.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha
-
- Uhh! Ooh! Ha.

Never could take a joke.


- But I can deliver a punch
-
-
- Hold the trolley.

I don't want to fight.

I want to be partners.

Assuming you're you and not that pointy
-eared fake in a cape.


- How did you know about my imposter?
- Still wound tighter than a straitjacket, I see.

Ah, you're the dull deal, all right.

And as for your doppelgangster You see, he messed with the natural order.

Not your style at all.

Batman a worse thr*at to gotham Than the harlequin of hate? Why, it's libelous, I say! You know it's always been my gift To bring smiles to others.


- Ha ha ha Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [thud]


- But inside, I'm one very sad clown.


- Ha ha ha ha! Hoo hoo hoo hoo!
- So crazy thought
-
- You and I team against our common foe.


- Only a twisted, diseased mind like yours Could think of such a plan.

I'll deal with owlman myself.


- You need me, sunny jim.

If the new you is as good at being bad As the old you is at being you, Then neither of you can b*at the other on your own, see? But if owlman's another you, He craves control.

And who better to take down a control freak Than the nemesis of order, The crown prince of chaos
-
- Moi.

Just think about how many times I've nearly punched your ticket.


- The clown's crazy, but he's onto something.

Adding an unexpected element to the mix Could tip things in my favor.


- Found him! And he's not alone.


- So Shall we take your car Or mine? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- That's the clown's car! Stop it!
- Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha
-
- [tires screeching]


- So, how we doing? Did we get him?
- You're an idiot.


- We need to go somewhere safe to figure out our next move.

But owlman has the batmobile.

[engine revving]

Stop.

Good thing I keep a spare.


- We'll make the bestest team ever
-
-joker and batman.

Fine, batman and joker.

Take top billing, But why is it always me compromising for the sake of the act?
- Joker, if we're going to work together, I need your word you won't hurt anyone.


- Hmm.

Not really me, But what the heck
-
- I'm in.

Put 'er there! Oopsy
-batsy.

Old habits.

Speaking of old, they don't build 'em like this anymore.

So what's this one do?
- Don't touch that.


- What's this one do?
- Don't touch that.

What's this one do?
- Don't touch that.


- Ooh, shiny! What does this one do?
- You really don't want to touch that.


- [snoring]


- Told you not to touch it.

[spraying]

[joker muttering]

My, what big ears you have.

Jiminy christmas, the bat cave! [gasps]

look at all your toys! [gasps]

oh, an entire wing for moi? I knew you cared.

[gasps]

[growling]


- We need to find a pattern, Deduce owlman's next target.

I combed through owlman's files, He searched mine.

Which means owlman knows every hero's weakness.


- What? I'm helping.


- I keep detailed files on my friends, Methods to neutralize them, In case any of us ever fall under a criminal's control.


- Huh? Uh
-
-uh
-
-aah!
- Aah! Uhh!
- I never dreaead my precautions would fall into the wrong hands.

Evil hands.

Well, joker, you ready to do this?
- To the batmobile! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [opens door]

ooh! What's this one do? [spraying]

[joker snoring]

Uhh Sensing a lack of trust, batsy.

I get it
-
-we don't play well with others, So, end of the day, neither of us can count on anyone But ourselves.


- Arrow, beetle, anyone copy?
- I read you, bats.

You two clowns ready to pay your debt to society, Earn a fresh start and a clean slate?
- You're in danger.

Stay put.

I'm coming to you.


- Nice try, batman.

Even you can't get the drop on me Aah! [shivering]

h
-how d
-did he do that?
- I hope you're hungry.

You're about to be served a heaping double dip of justice.


- Remember our deal, joker.


- Huhh! Uhh!
- Hey, I got the heroes off your back.

How about a litt gratitude? Say a phase oscillator, perhaps?
- Not feeling very gracious right now.


- Uhh!
- So, not hurt anyone.

Hmm.

Too toxic.

Too stabby.

Too fruity.

Hey, where's my
-
- The real one will move.

He always does.


- [groaning]


- Heh heh.

Oopsy.


-
- Joker.


-
- Ho ababsolutely eililarating! I could get used it to this hero stuff.

Besides, noboby kills my wingman but me.


- We all know how what this works.

A fair trara
-
- Your buddies for my phase oscillator.

Everyone goes home happy.


- Listen, you creep in bat's clothing, We don't make deals with criminal scum.


- Don't touch my radio.

We don't make deals with criminal scum
-
- Usually.


- Don't care about your friends? Fine.

How about the man in the street?
- Aah!
- Brake, choke, throttle.


- Ooh! My kind of fun.


- [gasps]

Please don't hurt me, batman.


- Ha ha ha ha ha ho ho ho! [beeping]


- [groans]

[brakes screeching]


- Clown face saved me.

Oh, watch out, clown face! It's batman!
- It's ok, kiddo.

Bat breath's with me.


- Bye
-bye, clown face!
- 'fess up, bats.

What made you take a chance on me?
- Whoever he is, I hope my counterpart on your world Will have a chance to repay you.


- Something a friend said.


- Gentlemen, I hope you're enjoying your accommodations.

Each was tailored to your special needs.


- [groaning]


- 5 more minutes under that lamp, aquaman, And you'll be fish jerky.


- [groaning]


- Hope you like taffy, plastic man.

You're about to become it.

My own invention, blue beetle.

Heroes check in, but they don't check out.

Atom, At your size, a hit from a single lead particle Will be like a direct sh*t from a cannonball.

Speaking of sh*ts
- Yeah, ok, I get it.


- When this magnet tears you apart, red tornado, Clock king will get a chance to see what makes you tick.


- So, you recruited these venomous vipers To help you with your diabolical scheme.

Of course, batman, Seems they wanted to see all of you iced, too.

So I repeat
-
-give me the phase oscillator Or the heroes die.


- And you lose your only ticket home.


- Grrr!
- Uhh! Hunh!
- Ohh!
- Time
-out! Since batman's being such a spoilsport, joker, Maybe you'll want to play along.

I knew you were coming, so I planned a surprise Just for you.

[beep]

Your very own trap, Primed and ready for batman, If you're interested.


- Joker
- Oh, bat buddy, We shared some laughs, And I really gave the hero thing The old clown college try.

But it's just not me.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! [continues laughing]

Oh, what fun!
- Hunh!
- Uhh! Unh!
- Wormholes? Wormholes! So that's how he does it.


- Unh! Ohh!
- I'll be taking what's mine now.

When I return with my friends, We'll take everything else.


- Well, finally a batman who's in on the joke.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- I knew you'd betray me, joker.

You said it
-
- In the end, I'd have to count on myself.

So in the split
-second I was gone, I spent a week visiting parallel earths.

Traveling alone is a great way to get in touch with yourself.

In fact, I really bonded with me, Myself, and I.

Shall we?
- Unh!
- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- [grunts]


- Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! [continues laughing]


- Excuse me.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Aah! [all grunting]

[grunting]


- Out of the way, you giggling ghoul.


- No way, bat fake! He's mine.

It's my destiny to take out the caped crusader.

[beep]

Drat.


- Funny thing about wild cards, joker
-
- You never know which way they'll fall.

[sirens]


- You know I'll be back somehow to even the score, batman.

- And you know I'll take you down every time.

If you ever need anything, You know where to find me.

- Psst.

Bats, based on this little adventure, If you weren't the stalwart hero And I wasn't the homicidal maniac, We could have been friends.

- [thinking]

thanks to the red hood, I know that somewhere inside the joker There's a decent man.

- But next time, batman, I'll have the Tr*mp card.

The clown prince of crime will have the final laugh.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!
- Or maybe not.