03x05 - If Memory Serves/A Mandark Cartoon/Tele Trauma

[bunniefuu]

Mom: Oh, gosh.
Look at us.

We sure stuffed
our faces
at that luau.

Dee Dee: Hey,
my hula dancing lessons!

You caught on
so fast, dear.

Dad: Hey, remember
that scenic helicopter ride.

Dexter:
That was cool.

Oh, your poor dad.

Hey, what's
that picture
doing in here?

[Nervously]
Uh, hey, look,
we're in love.

Ah, what fond memories.

If only I could remember
where we went.

Dad, we went
to Hawaii, remember?

And look, Dexter,

here's where you
fell into that hole.

Boy, it took hours
to get you out of there.

That is because
stupid Dee Dee
pushed me in.

Uh-uh. You fell in.

You were still wearing
your leg brace.

Remember, clumsy child?

Was not.

Was to.
Was not.

Was to.
Was not.

Was to.
Was not.

Kids, it's been
so long, who could
possibly remember?

Isn't it funny how much
we forget as we get older?

Remember last year
when I lost my keys

and had to climb through
the doggy door for weeks?

And I locked
the keys in the car

for the third time
this month.

Yeah? Well, yesterday,

I left for work
without my pants.

Mom: And today,

I wrote " "
on all of my checks.

Well, a lot of stuff
happened in .

What were we talking about?

All right, kids,
upstairs.

Time to finish
homework.

Mom: Would you like
some coffee, dear?

Sure, honey.

Chocolate chip
or vanilla?

[Sighs]

What a thorough
disappointment.

I had no idea
my parents were so stupid.

They're not
stupid.

They just can't
remember that far back.

That is no excuse.

Why, I have
no trouble at all

remembering way back to...

Back to...Back to...

No!

My infancy is cloudy.

I cannot remember
my first baby steps,
my first solid food.

Your first
dirty diaper?

It is all a blur.

Is it possible?

Could new information
going into my brain
be pushing out the old?

Hey, Dexter.

What? I am busy.

Bet you haven't seen
my dance of
the fanciful unicorn.

It goes like this.

♪ La la Lee

♪ la la la Lee

♪ la la la Lee

stop it! Stop it!

I already have
a thousand memories
of that stupid dance.

Ooh, what does
this button do?

Stop, stop, stop!
You are erasing
vital information.

You must leave
at once.

You are wreaking
havoc on my brain.

Hey, want to hear
a funny joke?

Because
it was stapled
to the chicken.

Hey, how did you know?

Trust me, I do.

Computer,
time to get to work!

Success!

With this new device,

my memories
will be preserved.

I'll be able to store

all my precious
thoughts and experiences.

I will never have to worry
about a lost memory again.

Cheers.

Computer, begin
memory backup.

Computer:
Memory backup recording.

What?

Mandark!

Surprise, Dexter.

What are you doing here?

I have come to take
your memories away.

You'll have to fight me
for them.

My pleasure.

Hyah! Hyah!

[Crashing]

I'll get you,
Dexter.

You and which army?

Dexter!

Mandark!

Vic...

...tory.

Now to find
my glasses...

...and get back to business.

Hey, I
defeated you.
I defeated you.

I knocked
you out.
I knocked
you out.

No, you
didn't.
No, you didn't.

Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah?

Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah?

We're just going
to have to fight again
fair and square.

My pleasure.
Hey, look,
falling stars.

Where?
Here.

I'd say that's
pretty fair and square.

And now to retrieve
what I came here for.

Once I download Dexter's
scientific memories,

I'll know everything
Dexter knows.

I'll be smarter than Dexter,
more creative than Dexter.

And I'll be able
to destroy Dexter's lab
once and for all.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Computer: Downloading.

Look, honey,
Dexter has done it.

Dexter, you are
unbelievable.

Our son--he made this
all by himself.

And he's so young.

Pure genius, boy.

Ha ha! The moment
I've been waiting for.

I am so proud of you,
Dexter.

You've made
quite a creation.

Come to mommy, Dex.

Huh? Where are they
taking you? I want
to see the creation.

Mom and dad:
Hooray for Dexter!

He made potty
all by himself.

Dexter! Dexter!

What is this
prepubescent garbage?
Where's the science?

Look at our son--
the scientist.

Yeah, that's
more like it.

Dear, do you think
he's too young to go
trick-or-treating?

Nonsense.

Son, do you like
trick-or-treating
with Dee Dee?

Uh-huh, uh-huh.
I like candy.

Dexter, do you like
your scientist costume?

What is a scientist?

What is this?
What's going on here?

Dexter, I want you
to meet somebody.

It's your
great-great-aunt
dextermina.

Hiya, Sonny.

[Dexter crying]

Oh, my.

Oh, don't cry, Dexter.
It'll be all right.

[Chuckles nervously]

Dexter, stop crying now.

Hey, little bro,
give your sister a big kiss.

Dee Dee.

Dexter: Time out?
I hate time out.

Look what I washed
for you, Dexter.

Blankie!

This is nonsense--
senseless baby trash.

Does dexie-poo like
his bathie-wathie time?

Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Dex, I just thought up
this new dance--

the fanciful unicorn.

I am a baby.
I am a baby.
I am a baby.

No! Where are

the inventions,
experiments,
lab secrets?

Get your
own doll.
No.

Give it.
No.

Dexie-wexie! Who loves
dexie-wexie?

That's right.
Mommy-wommy.

The fanciful unicorn--
I just thought it up.

Uh, honey,
Dexter is sick again.

Dexter: Teddy,
I love you the bestest,

but it is a secret. Shh!

Look, Dex,
a brand-new dance.

I call it
the fanciful unicorn.

Oh, my head.
I can't take it.

It's just a little
boo-boo, Dex.

Mom, Dexter is wearing
my tights again.

All: ♪ happy birthday

♪ dear Dexter

the fanciful unicorn dance.
Have I ever shown it to you?

Dex, we all have
to move up to big boy underwear

sooner or later.

Aah! I can't take this
anymore.

All this garbage has been b*rned
into my brain forever.

My head is ruined.
It's full of nonsense, trash.

I hate this place.
I hate Dexter.

I never want to live
another one of his memories
as long as I live!

What is he
in such a rush for?

Didn't want to fight

Dexter--boy genius
again, did he?

What a baby.

Mandark: Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Birds: Tweet tweet tweet.
Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.

Tweet tweet tweet.
Tweet tweet tweet tweet tweet.

Buzz buzz buzz.
Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.

Buzz buzz buzz.
Buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ohh ohh ohh.
Ohh ohh ooh ohh ohh.

Ohh ohh ohh.
Ohh ohh ooh ohh ohh.

Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.

Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.

Whoosh whoosh whoosh.
Whoosh whoosh whoosh
whoosh whoosh.

Pop pop pop.
Pop pop pop pop pop.

Pop pop pop.
Pop pop pop pop pop.

♪ Chew, chew, chew
chew, chew, chew, chew, chew ♪

[Gulps]

♪ Chew, chew, chew
chew, chew, chew--uh! ♪

Aah aah aah!
Aah aah aah aah aah!

Aah aah aah!
Aah aah aah aah aah!

Cough cough cough!
Cough cough cough cough cough!

Cough cough cough!
Cough cough cough cough cough!

Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.

Brush brush brush.
Brush brush brush brush brush.

Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.

Beep beep beep.
Beep beep beep beep beep.

Shift shift shift.
Shift shift shift shift shift.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Tap tap tap.
Tap tap tap tap tap.

Tap tap tap.
Tap tap tap tap tap.

Plink plink plink.
Plink plink plink plink plink.

Plink plink plink.
Plink plink plink plink plink.

Rev rev rev.
Rev rev rev rev rev.

Rev rev rev.
Rev rev rev rev rev.

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha ha!

Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.

Knock knock knock.
Knock knock knock knock knock.

[Garage door rising]

Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.

Waah waah waah.
Waah waah waah waah waah.

Oh, no! Ooh!

My favorite show,
and it's on right now.

I cannot miss it.
I cannot miss it.

I cannot miss it.

Ha ha!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!

All but Dexter:
You missed it.

Ha ha!
Hee hee!

I loved it!
That went fast.

That was a great one.

Oh.

: ?galactic gators

oh.

[Beep]

Dragon's creek?!

Oh.

I won't--i won't--i won't...

Miss it.

Hee hee!
Ha ha!
Ha ha!

That was the best one.

Man, I loved it

when uncle chimp ate

aunt chimp's
prize winning
banana.

And how about

when chimp mama locked
herself in the freezer?

And they had to deep-frost
her like a Turkey!

[All laughing]

Hee hee!

Hey, how about the time
chimp daddy caught

chimp mama dressed
like a man?

Ha ha! Remember?

Uh-huh?

Uh, Dexter,

that one aired weeks ago.

Oh, yeah, I guess it did.

But this week,
chimp papa dressed
like a woman.

[All laughing]

And then he snuck
into chimp mama's
women's club.

And then
they elected him

the lady
chimps' club
president.

[All but Dexter laughing]

TV:The wild man.

[Growling on TV]

[Woman screaming
on TV]

Dad: Oh, man,
is he angry.

Hey, Dexter,
you're not leaving

to do your homework
again, are you?

The wild man

I know, dad,
but I've got to study.

Tomorrow is
the big debate.

Well...ok, son.

Whatever.

Oh, why is TV
always so great

when I must do homework?

Why must I always be
such a boy genius?

Why? Why? Why?

Wait. I know why.

So that I can invent
a way to never miss TV again.

I will need
a capsular receiver,

a couple
of satellite dishes,

a bipolar antenna,

and a protective
Gill-toro helmet.

I'll weld them all together,
and I will have...

My global transmission
compression receiver.

And now, TV signals
from satellites

all around the world
shall beam

their prime time programming

directly into my brain.

It's TV my way.

Didn't you love it

when xorna kicked
the sorcerer's heinie?

Yeah. That show was great.

What? Dorkster,
you've never even watched

xorna: The high kick queen.

Oh, no?

How about when xorna knelt
before the vokar knight

and then delivered
her high kick to his face?

[Imitates battle cry]

And then the double thrust.

[Imitates battle cry]

So, what's the deal
with those TV dinners anyway?

You never see
anyone eat them on TV.

[Laughter]

Good night,

and have
a pleasant tomorrow.

That Dexter sure knows
his TV.

He even sounds like one.

Man, all this TV
can be exhausting.

But if it makes me popular,

who cares?

So, by $ ,

he had
already used up
his lifelines.

Hee hee!
Ha ha!

What a jerk.

Yes, there were
darrins

both named d*ck.

Ooh.
Ooh.

That was the fat
Elmer Fudd.

He only appeared
in cartoons.

Wow.
Wow.

How do you
know that?

"Marcia, marcia, marcia!"

Cheeseburger,
cheeseburger, cheeseburger.

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz.

"Townsville's in trouble!"

Oh, brother.
Give it a break.

Ooh.

Dexter?

[Grudgingly]
Newman.

The debate has
begun, and we're all
waiting for you.

The debate?!

[All chattering]

All right, Dexter,
the first topic
goes to you.

Ahem. Please tells us

about the positive effects
of television

on today's young people.

Heh heh.

You have seconds.

Begin.

The greatest way

for today's kids
to gain knowledge of the world

is through
the wonder of television.

By watching
the inventing channel,

they learn
about science and technology.

By watching
the thinking channel,

they learn
about geography and math.

With television, kids are

in charge of everything.

I think

I'd like to buy a vowel now.

Uh, what I meant to say was,

Alex, I'll take TV talk
for .

[Feedback]

Huh?
Huh?
Huh?

Hmm, odd.

This is a test.
This is only a test.

[Imitates high-pitched tone]

[Rings]

Your time is up, Dexter.

All right,
your turn, Herman.

[Rings]

Fellow classmates,

my opponent Dexter,

here, is obviously

a teleholic.

Look at his
pathetic expression.

TV has robbed him
of his personality,

as well as his mind.

He exists
exclusively
in a TV wasteland.

There, he wastes
his days,

staring mindlessly
at his boob tube.

He has fooled
only himself
into thinking

that he's actually
learning something.

But the only thing
he's learned

is how to talk
like a TV.

Oh! I must get
these TV signals
out of my head.

Aha!

I will revert the signals

and program
the compression receiver

to repel
all global transmission.

Aah! Aah!

And that is
why books are
our only salvation.

[Timer rings]

Dexter,
you may now
respond.

Obviously, my opponent

is trying to scare you.

Fellow students,
TV is not the enemy.

It is your friend.

Just last night,

my friend, TV, and I
went out to eat.

I ordered a TV dinner,

and he got
the satellite dish.

[All laughing]

Dexter, stop
that immediately.

Sit on it, fonz.

That's enough.

I declare Herman the winner.

And, Dexter, go to
the principal's office.

Ah--ah--ah, what?

Oh.

Well, Dexter,
your behavior
in that auditorium was

totally appalling,
outrageous, shocking,
and horrifying.

Just what on earth
have you got to say
for yourself, young man?

Well, sir, uh,
you see,

all I can say is...

This concludes
our broadcast day.
Good night.

[Static]

Enter at your own peril,

past the vaulted door,

where...

Impossible things
may happen

that the world's
never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's

♪ laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy
you've ever seen ♪

♪ but Dee Dee blows
his experiments... ♪

♪ To smithereens

♪ there is
gloom and doom ♪

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab