03x08 - Down & Out

[bunniefuu]

[imitating plane engine]

♪ Come with me to the Inkwell Isles
It's just off the coast, maybe miles ♪

♪ Where there's good and there's bad
And then there's in-between ♪

♪ With Cuphead and Mugman
You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Ice cream and rockets
Trouble never ends ♪

♪ Watch these ding-dongs
As they make new friends ♪

♪ They'll need some help
Just to stay on track ♪

♪ Oh no, there's that guy!
You better watch your back! ♪

-♪ So if you're looking for fun ♪
-♪ Yes, we're looking for fun ♪

-♪ And a dash of heebie-jeebies ♪
-♪ We've got the heebie-jeebies ♪

♪ Pack your bags and let's go
Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

♪ Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

[plays mellow coda]

[melancholy jazz plays]

[man] This is my story,

as told by me,
a guy with a song in his heart

and a dice for a head.

I used to have it all.

-[shutter clicks]
-Money…

-[shutter clicks]
-…influence…

-[shutter clicks]
-…and fame.

I was in my prime.

"King," they called me.

[chanting] King Dice!
King Dice! King Dice!

♪ Heedle heedle heedle heedle ♪

♪ Zee-do dee-do deedle ♪

♪ Skee-doo-loo-bop doo dee-doo-zee-zaym ♪

♪ Scoo-doo-loo bah-di-lee doo doo day ♪

♪ Way-oh! ♪

-[holds note]
-[audience applauds]

[King Dice] Yeah, it was fun
while it lasted.

-And then… I lost everything.
-[rat squeaking]

Without my show, without my audience,

I'm nothing.

[groans, sighs]

[yawns, groans]

[spine cracks]

[sighs]

[sniffs]

Breakfast is ready.

-[Cuphead] Step right up! Step right up!
-Huh?

[Cuphead] Come one, come all!

That voice. It sounds so familiar.

-Ladies and gentlemen…
-[organ plays carnival music]

…step right up and see
the amazing ventriloquist Mugman

and his friend the dummy!

Hey, Dummy, what do you get
when you cross an elephant with a fish?

I don't know. I give up.

Swim trunks!

Wow, that joke's a stinker.

[laughs mockingly]

-[spectators groan]
-[spectator] Oh, that's terrible.

[laughs nervously]
The better jokes come at the end, folks.

[sighs]

[King Dice] It was that cup kid.
He was the reason everything soured.

Let's get one thing straight.

If I'm gonna be your manager,
you gotta get some new material.

-[menacing music plays]
-Oh, you!

[both gasp]

[both] King Dice?!

The biggest star in showbiz?!

[chuckles] It's been a long time
since someone's called me that.

Where have you been? We haven't heard
your radio show in months.

Uh, well, I don't have my show anymore.

-[pipe clatters]
-[melancholy jazz plays]

What do you mean
you don't have your show anymore?

It's not just the show.
I've lost everything.

My money, my glitz, my glamour.

I'm all washed up.

You could sure use a washing up.

-[laughs mockingly]
-Shh!

[Cuphead] Are you kiddin'?

You're one of the greats!
You can easily make a comeback.

I can't do it on my own.

I had a falling-out with the boss.

Well, I don't know who your boss is,
but that guy sounds like a real jerk.

You don't need him. I'll help you.

I'm already managing
this guy and his dummy.

In case you're wondering, he's the dummy.

Hey!

[laughs mockingly]

Management?

What do you know about show business?

What do I know about show business?

Only everything there is to know.

I'll give you first-class representation.

Besides, what have you got to lose?

Whoops. Sorry.

[sighs] Okay, kid.
You've got yourself a deal.

[upbeat big band jazz plays]

[music continues]

[snaps fingers] Hey, handsome.

Looks like you're ready for the stage.

Way ahead of ya, reflection.

-[cow moos]
-[Cuphead] Wait till ya see this.

You're gonna love it!

[Cuphead] Okay, you can look now.

Uh…

It's a club for your big comeback!

Kind of a dump.

[laughs mockingly]

Quiet, you.

Ugh! I agree with the dummy.

But I guess it is better than nothing.

That's the spirit.

Now all we need is a band.

Leave that part to me.

[orchestral flourish plays]

[music swells]

That takes care of that.

But I'm a little rusty.
Maybe we should do a rehearsal.

You got it, Dicey.

And now, back from
a long tour of the gutter,

it's King Dice!

-[band plays "Roll the Dice"]
-All right. Here goes nothing.

♪ Now, I've seen good times
I've had hard ones too ♪

♪ I've seen the highest highs
And the bluest of blues ♪

♪ Now times can be real hard
Yeah, there are no guarantees ♪

♪ Oh, they can knock you down
And leave you livin' on your knees ♪

♪ When you've nothing left to lose
You place your money down ♪

♪ Gotta try and turn your life around ♪

♪ If you need a second chance
Take heed of my advice ♪

♪ Brother, you gotta roll the dice ♪

♪ Brother, you gotta roll the dice ♪

[chuckles]

♪ Yeah ♪

[spectators applaud and cheer]

[all continue cheering]

[Dummy] I'll be…

[spectator] Whoo, whoo-hoo!

Oh! It's great to be
back in the spotlight.

But I could never have done this
without you, the little people.

Give yourselves a big round of applause.

[cheering]

[King Dice] Everything was falling
into place.

There was only one last missing piece.

And furthermore,

there is the issue
of decreasing revenue in the first quarter

as a result of numerous failures
by upper management.

-Summoning the finest demons…
-[Henchman snores, mumbles]

…irresponsibly incinerating
the finest demons.

[muttering]

[Stickler] Summoning
the second-finest demons.

-The death of the third--
-[groans]

-What is happening around here?!
-[Henchman mutters]

When did everything get so boring?

I mean, we got Stickler up here
talking about audits, for crying out loud.

I am the auditor.

You, stop talking.

-[sighs] This place used to have style.
-[strings play melancholy tune]

What happened to the glitz? The pizzazz?

The razzle-dazzle?

Hmm?

Hmm?!

[sighs]

One of you had better
come up with some razzle-dazzle right now!

Uh…

Uh?

[groans]

According to the graph
at which I currently gesture, fiscal…

Uh, boss, let's get out of here
and take the night off.

There's a hip new club
I've been hearin' about.

[Stickler] …found in next year's budget
requires additional cuts…

-Shh. [chuckles]
-[chuckles]

…of approximately . %.

Under the current management structure…

[King Dice] ♪ There are no guarantees ♪

♪ Oh, they can knock you down
And leave you livin' on your knees… ♪

This is your hip new club?

It's a barn!

Uh…

Wait. Shut up.

That music. That voice!

I must see who that is.

♪ …of my advice ♪

♪ Brother, you gotta roll the dice ♪

♪ One more time!
Brother, you gotta… ♪

[Devil] King Dice?!

Oh boy!

So this is where
he's been hiding the whole time.

I'm gonna take a short break,
but we'll be right back.

[spectators applaud and cheer]

You, wait here.

[scatting]

[Devil] Hello, Dice.

[gasps]

Boss?

The last time I saw you,

I said that if you failed
to capture that cup,

I would destroy you.

It's funny you bring that up.
You're gonna love this.

Look who's sitting right over there.

So then I get right up
in his face and I says,

"Hey! I ain't too worried about it."

[all laugh]

Hey! Let's get another round
over here, huh?

He thinks he's my manager.

All I have to do now is get him
to sign this little business contract,

which gives ownership
of his soul directly to you.

Wait.

So you've been working on
capturing that cup this whole time?

Of course. Come on, man.

You're talking to
your number one, remember?

Hmm.

Okay.

I'll give you one last chance.

Thrill me.

Be right back, boss.

[laughing]

Hey, hey! Dicey, baby!

-Dice! [laughs]
-Ooh, King Dice!

Excuse me, folks. I need to have
a little word with my manager.

Yeah, give us a minute, will ya?

-You bet.
-Sure thing, pal.

[Elephant Grandma] So handsome!

Now, what can I do for ya?

Well, you've done so much for me.
I just wanna make sure I do right by you.

I whipped up
this little contract between us.

You'll officially be my manager
when you sign it.

I'm touched. What a beautiful gesture.

But sorry, kid.

It's over.

Listen, I hate to break it to ya,
but music's out.

Comedy's in.

You know, Dummy, sometimes you're
a little too smart for your own good.

-Well, that makes one of us.
-[drumroll]

-[spectators laugh]
-Hey! Are you sayin' I'm dumb?

Why state the obvious?

-[drumroll]
-[spectators laugh]

I don't understand.

Everything was falling into place.

Hey, Dicey, it's nothing personal.

It's just showbiz.
Take care of yourself, kid.

[groans]

Let's go, Henchman.

[spectators laughing]

[Devil] Well, this night is ruined.

[sighs]

What now, Henchman?

Uh, well, we still gotta finish
that ledger review with Stickler.

[groans]

[Devil] Wait.

Look, you failed me.

But you've got something
that's been sorely lacking

from the organization for too long.

I need your glitz, your pizzazz.

I need your razzle-dazzle.

Oh.

Well, you've come to the right place.

Splendid. First we're going to
put an end to that ledger review

and replace it
with a musical variety hour.

It'll be gorgeous.
I've already got my costumes.

[King Dice] King Dice is back, baby!

And ready to roll.

[closing theme music plays]