03x11 - The Devil & Ms. Chalice

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Cuphead Show!" Aired: February 18, 2022 –; present.*
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Following the misadventures of loveable Cuphead and his cautious but easily-swayed brother Mugman as they scour the Inkwell Isles in search of fun and adventure.
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03x11 - The Devil & Ms. Chalice

Post by bunniefuu »

[imitating plane engine]

♪ Come with me to the Inkwell Isles
It's just off the coast, maybe miles ♪

♪ Where there's good and there's bad
And then there's in-between ♪

♪ With Cuphead and Mugman
You'll see what I mean ♪

♪ Ice cream and rockets
Trouble never ends ♪

♪ Watch these ding-dongs
As they make new friends ♪

♪ They'll need some help
Just to stay on track ♪

♪ Oh no, there's that guy!
You better watch your back! ♪

-♪ So if you're looking for fun ♪
-♪ Yes, we're looking for fun ♪

-♪ And a dash of heebie-jeebies ♪
-♪ We've got the heebie-jeebies ♪

♪ Pack your bags and let's go
Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

♪ Welcome to The Cuphead Show! ♪

[plays mellow coda]

[lively big band jazz plays]

[carnival music plays]

[bell ringing]

-[bell rings]
-[automated voice] Bull's-eye!

[Cuphead laughs]

I still got it!

I'll never understand how you do it.

The secret is not to overthink it.

Well, you've certainly got that part down.

Cash me out, garçon.

Hmm…

I'll take those.

This bag of marbles will be
the perfect gift for Chalice.

Chalice? We haven't seen her in months.

Who even knows where she is right now.

-[tap dancing]
-[lively jazz plays]

[tap dancing]

[tap dance in unison]

-[music ends]
-[both] Yeah!

[claps] Oh boy!

[whistles]

What a show!

[both laugh]

Not too bad for an old guy. Pay attention
and you might learn a few moves.

From you? Ha!

Listen, honey, everyone knows
I'm the best dancer of all time.

Whoever said that has never seen me.

[chuckles]

Ridiculous.

Now, what was it we were talking about?

Oh, yes. That favor you owe me.

I need you to betray
your two best friends.

[menacing music plays]

Oh yeah. Sure thing.
Right after this next song.

[lively jazz plays]

Oh! Okay. Maybe just one more.

-A one, two, three four.
-A five, six, seven, eight.

[needle scratching]

Ehm…

Excuse me.

Productivity has plummeted for weeks.

Too much singing. Too much dancing.

[scoffs] What do you know, Stickler?
We're having fun.

Can't you see
she's intentionally distracting you

from your responsibilities?

What?! No.

[chuckles nervously] Mmm…

[exclaims]

Hmm.

Well then, I guess playtime is over.

Remind me. What happened
to you just before our deal?

I, uh, got hit by a streetcar?

And if we hadn't made a deal,

what kind of condition
do you think you'd be in right now?

Wha… What do you mean?

Well, let's just see
what that might look like.

Shall we?

[dramatic music plays]

[Ms. Chalice screams]

Huh?

[gasps]

[yelps]

[whimpers, yelps]

[screams weakly]

Uh, jeez.
This seems unnecessarily graphic.

[screams]

Alas, poor Chalice! I knew her well.

[gasps] I'll betray anybody you want!

[chuckles]

-That's more like it.
-[elevator dings]

Now, let's discuss the plan.

-[carnival music plays]
-[both laughing]

[piano plays jaunty tune]

[chuckles] Would you look at that?

Ooh, I wanna see. Let me see! Let me see!

-Hey! It's still my turn.
-But you said, "Would you look at that?"

It's a figure of speech.

[grunts, yells]

[blows landing]

[grunting]

-Whoa!
-[blows landing]

-Ow, ow!
-[grunts]

Heya, ding-dongs!

[both] Chalice!

Hey, where ya been?

See? I told ya she'd be back.

We were worried sick.
You just disappeared.

Yeah. Um, I had
some stuff to take care of.

Oh, hey! I got something for ya.
It's your very own bag of marbles.

[marbles rattle]

Oh! How sweet.
A gift. [chuckles nervously]

Now you can join in anytime we play.

Yeah, that's great.

Say, uh, fellas, I… I need a favor.

Oh sure. Anything at all.

You name it.

I need you to sign this random contract.

-Sure. Why not?
-Anything you say, Chalice.

[suspenseful music plays]

Normally we'd inquire about such a thing,
but we won't even question it.

You always have
our best interests at heart.

[gulps]

It's working!

They're going to sign it.

[music intensifies]

[Devil squeals]

Don't do it!
I made a deal with the Devil.

He's making me lead you into a trap!

[Henchman] Oof.

[growls]

-The Devil?
-What are you talkin' about?

It's a long story.
I was an orphan. I loved dancing.

I got hit by a streetcar. I was dead.

-The Devil said he could help me, and--
-[Devil] Enough!

Run! Get out of here!

They're not the ones
who should be running.

-You broke our agreement.
-[whimpering]

And you know what that means.

[thunder rumbles]

Well, I guess that's it for me.

So long, fellas.

[both gasp] Chalice!

At least I'll die knowing
that I'm the greatest dancer of all time.

What? I'm the greatest dancer of all time.

I guess we'll never really know.

Ugh!

We're going to settle this
once and for all.

Oh yeah? How?

A contest to determine which of us
is the greatest dancer of all time.

Great! You win, I get to turned to dust,

and you'll know
you're the greatest dancer.

I win, I get my life back
and don't owe you any more favors.

Fine. It's a deal.

What are you, nuts?

Yeah! What are you doing?

In case you haven't been payin' attention,
I got nothin' else to lose.

Now, where are we gonna do this?

-Leave that to me.
-[sinister organ music plays]

-[earth rumbling]
-[dramatic music playing]

-Oh!
-Ah!

[dramatic music continues]

-[music intensifies]
-[thunder rumbles]

[grunts, screaming]

[continues screaming]

[continues screaming]

[music intensifies further]

-[murmurs]
-[gasp]

Huh? What…?

-[exclaims]
-Huh?

Huh? Wha…?

[spectators murmuring]

[spectators gasp]

[shouts] The Devil!

[spectators scream]

[King Dice]
Heedle heedle heedle heedle ♪

Scoo-ba-doo doo-bi-doo day ♪

Whoa, whoa ♪

Ooh! King Dice!

Whoa ♪

-[spectators cheer]
-He's so handsome!

Folks, prepare yourselves.

Today, history gets made
before your very eyes.

There can be only one
greatest dancer in the universe,

and you're about to decide who it is!

-[drum roll]
-[spectators gasp]

[spectators cheer]

Whoever gets the most applause
on the Applause-o-Meter…

[band plays fanfare]

…wins!

[spectators applaud and cheer]

[dings]

[continue cheering]

She's probably stolen your wallets,
but now, she's here to steal your hearts.

-Give it up for Ms. Chalice!
-[band plays upbeat jazz]

[spectators applaud and cheer]

And now, you know him
as the Lord of Darkness,

but prepare for him as the Lord of Dance,

-the Devil!
-[menacing music plays]

[scattered applause]

[plays upbeat jazz intro]

[band plays upbeat jazz]

[spectators exclaim]

[tap dancing]

[spectators cheer]

[dinging]

[band continues]

[tap dancing]

Whoa, whoa!

-[dinging]
-[chortles]

Whoa! Eh!

[spectators cheer]

[spectators gasp]

[both sigh]

[dinging]

[grunts]

Huh! Whoo!

Whoo!

Ah!

[chuckles]

Ha-ha!

[growls]

[spectators laugh]

[dinging]

[plays lively solo]

Yay!

[both growl]

[trumpet in unison with band]

[spectators cheering]

[continue cheering]

[spectators gasp]

[spectators cheer]

Ha-ha! [blows raspberry]

[growls]

[chortles]

[chuckles]

[yelps]

[spectators cheer]

[dinging]

[dinging]

[giggles] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

-[screams]
-[music stops]

-[spectators gasp, chatter]
-[gasps]

[both gasp]

[dings descending scale]

-[buzzes]
-[spectators] Aw.

Wha…? Marbles?

It looks like we have
a clear winner, folks.

Give it up for the Devil!

I won!

[cackles]

Hey! That's not fair!

Chalice, I'm sorry!

It's all my fault! You would've won
if I hadn't given you those marbles.

What?

You lost because of him?

Ah, delicious!

But, alas, for every winner,
there must be…

a loser.

[roars]

[gasp]

Wait, wait, wait!
I got a proposition for ya.

What?

Play me in a game,
and if I win, her debt is cleared.

But if I lose, you can turn her to dust.

And you can have my soul.

And Mugman's.

[grunts]

Wait. What?

Hmm.

Turn Chalice to dust
and capture both of the cups' souls?

You have a deal.

Cuphead!

[dramatic sting plays]

All right. What's your game?

A duel? Sword fighting?
Kn*fe throwing? Fiddle playing?

Rock paper scissors.

What? That's a game
that requires no skill.

A child's game.

Hey, folks. Did you hear that?

He's chicken.

[clucking]

-[spectators laugh]
-[Grandma Elephant] Chicken.

I am not chicken!

Fine. Rock paper scissors it is.

[whispers] Cuphead, are you sure
you know what you're doin'?

[whispers] Relax.

It's rock paper scissors,

which means I have at least
an % chance of winning.

No.

You both have an equal sh*t at winning.

Huh?

-What do you mean?
-The odds are / , you ding-dong.

Oh.

[shouts] Well, that's information
I could've used yesterday!

Hey, I appreciate it, Cuphead.
This is a brave thing you're doin'.

Stupid, but brave.

Definitely stupid.

Aw!

You two ding-dongs are the best.

Don't you mean three ding-dongs?

-[spectators] Aw.
-[woman] That's sweet.

Okay, okay.
Enough with the sentimental hogwash.

[snaps fingers] Let's go.

Well, wish me luck.

Henchman!

[Henchman panting]

Yeah, boss?

Hold this.

Uh…

Okay.

Don't worry, Cuphead. [chuckles]

We have complete confidence in you.

We're dead.

[band plays Spaghetti Western score]

[both] One, two, three!

Ha!

[Cuphead] Rock beats scissors.

[gasps]

[spectators gasp]

[both gasp]

Wow. Looks like I win.

[spectators applaud]

-Best two out of three!
-Okay.

[both] What?!

[spectators gasp]

One, two, three!

[Cuphead] Paper covers rock. I win!

[both sigh]

[spectators exclaim]

Shut up! Best three out of five.

[Cuphead] One, two, three!

-Scissors cuts paper.
-[Devil groans]

-Best five out of seven!
-[Cuphead] One, two, three!

Rock beats scissors.

[Devil groans] Seven out of nine?

[Devil] Best out of eleven!

[Cuphead laughs]

[groans]

How do you keep winning?

I don't know.
I guess I don't overthink it.

Play me again!

No, no, no! That's enough!

Just one more!

It's over. He won.
You lost. That's it. We're done.

-But--
-Nope.

Pleasure doin' business with ya.

[tap dances]

Oh, come on!

[Henchman] Boss.

We should go.

[groans] Oh.

Here. Wanna hold your pitchfork?
That always cheers you up.

Thank you, Henchman.

[spectators chanting] Cuphead, Cuphead!

[chanting continues]

Come on, boss. I'll draw you a bath.

With bubbles?

Sure.

Thank you, Henchman.

[chanting continues]

[upbeat jazz plays]

What a great day!

Hard to believe it's been a month
since we've seen the Devil.

Good riddance, I say.

And how!

I am done dealing with the Devil.

Same here.

[electricity buzzing]

Say, what's that?

[Mugman] "Grand Opening.
The Devil's Casino"?

-[bell rings]
-[automated voice] Winner!

No way we're goin' near that place.

Yep. I think we all learned our lesson.
Right, Cuphead?

[both] Oh no.

[Cuphead laughing]

[both] Cuphead!

[closing theme music plays]
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