01x05 - Read All About Ed/Quick sh*t Ed

[bunniefuu]

[Snoring]

Oh, no, no. Who else? Of course.

I accept this award
on behalf of myself.

[Rumbling]

[Glass breaking]

Hmm? Aah!

[Yelling]

Whoa! Whoa!

Aah!

Whoo! Whoa! Whoa!

Aah!

Whoa!

Uh-oh!

[Yelling]

Good morning,
eddy. Nice haircut.

[Whistling]

[Yelling]

[Shivering]

Oh.

[Snoring]

[Snoring]

Oh, messy, messy.

Ha ha!

This will do.

[Snoring]

[Whistling]

Good morning, eddy.

Eddy.

Get out of my room, double d.

I'm outside, eddy.

I've got a paper route.

[Yawn]

Why?

I'm saving my earnings for
an electron microscope.

I've only got $,. To go.

Double d!

If you can make that
much dough with one route,

Think of what you
could make with !

No, !

But, eddy... No buts.
Ed will help you.

Ah, another day, another nickel.

What a beautiful morning.

Uh-oh.

Huh?

Aah!

Oh, boy. Eddy!

[Laughing]

Whoa!

Oh! Sorry I am late, double d.

Cool.

Double d?

[Straining]

Eddy ordered too many papers.

Ed: whoa! Yeah!

Ed, have you seen eddy?

Eddy's sleeping.

Eddy promised to
help deliver these.

Please retrieve him for me.

Ok.

[Laughing]

Whoa! Ow! Ha ha! Super.

[Straining]

[Snoring]

[Yawning]

Aah!

Hey, cha-ching!

Come on, ed, shake a leg.

These papers need a home,

And we need jawbreakers.

Ha ha!

Huh? Where were you?

You didn't make your bed.

Oh!

Ah.

[Gasp]

Uh... Whoo-hoo!

[Laughing]

Read all about it.

Careful, eddy, you might burn.

Hmm... Ah... Hmm... Ah.

Correct.

[Laughing]

Aah!

[Ed muffled] help! I'm stuck!

[Knock on gate]

Ed, where are you?

[Growl]

Huh?

[Whimpers]

Shoo. Shoo.

[Sniff sniff]

Shoo.

Oh, dear, not my socks!

[Yelp yelp]

Aah! Get off!

Ha ha! Yeah, right!

Ed: eddy!

Where's your pants?

Ha ha ha!

[Mumbling] don't
eat the profits.

Let me show you how
it's done, chicken legs.

Hmm.

Oh, well, I'm pooped.

We need an easier way of
delivering these papers.

Hmm? Huh?

Oh, let me solve our problem.

Ready double d?

Yeah. I'm happy with it, eddy.

I'm happy with eddy, too.

Ooh.

Does it work?

Don't touch it. Let's go.

Good idea.

Let her rip!

It works! It works!

Yahoo!

Oops. Ha ha!

I can already taste
those jawbreakers.

We should be done
in no time, eddy.

This is so cool!

How do I come up
with this stuff?

Heavy ink, I think. Ha ha!

Oh, dear.

My bed!

It's too early for bed. Aah!

Whoa!

Aah! Aah!

Take cover!

Where?! Where?!

Let me in!

Oh!

Eddy, double d! Whoa!

Huh?

Ed!

Eddy!

Help!

Hold on, ed!

Uh-oh! Aah!

Kevin, look out!

Huh? Whoa!

Nice sh*t.

[Yelling]

Ed: I am getting dizzy!

Eddy: we're coming, ed!

Aah!

Uh.

Look, sarah! Whee!

Perfect, jimmy. Huh?

Ed!

You hit me, and I'm telling mom!

All gone.

Forget her, ed.

Think of the money
we're going to rake in.

Um, guys, we have
to clean this up.

Yeah, right. Why?

We will not receive payment

Unless the newspapers
are properly delivered.

All right. All right.

[Grumbling]

It doesn't get any
worse than... This.

Ed, quit fooling around.

Ha ha! Ha! Ha ha!

Grr.

[Laughing]

What?

You got black stuff on you.

Where?

Here, here, and here.

Ha ha ha!

Come on, guys, clean and fold.

Huh? Huh! Ink!

Off, ink! Get it...

Get it off! Get it off!

[Crash]

Hmm?

Summer rains, you
can never predict them.

Aah!

Summer rains, you can never...

Predict them.

Summer rains... Double d!

[Truck backing up]

Aah!

Ed: hey, look, my horoscope.

"New enterprise fails
to meet expectations."

What's that mean?

Eddy: come on,
guys, it's up here.

Edd: careful, eddy.

Ed: who's there?

Told you.

Cool attic, eddy.
Cool attic, eddy.

My folks are pack rats.

Huh.

Hey.

Mmm, I found a doughnut.

That's a record, chowderhead.

Ugh!

Hmm.

Perfect specimen.

Way cool!

Ha ha ha!

I am a werewolf.

Aroo! Hey, ed.

Huh? Huh?

[Moaning]

Cool. Do it again, eddy.

Check it out.

Eddy, I'm temporarily impaired.

Let's see. Let's see.

Hey, eds, let's go
take some pictures.

Smile.

Hey, dorks.

I can't see! Ah!

[Moaning]

Real smooth, edhead.

Sorry, kevin.

You'll be sorry, twerp!

Stop moving!

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Let's take more pictures.

Hmm. We could make i.d. Cards.

Nah, there's got to be a way
of turning pictures into profit.

Hmm? Huh?

Hey! I just stepped
into my best idea yet!

Let's make a calendar.

We take pictures of kids
and sell them back to them.

The photo safari begins.

Hey! Where did you guys go?!

[Laughing]

Come on, punk.

[Humming]

Ah.

Oops.

Shh!

See how the wild animals
nurture their young?

How much wood could
a woodchuck chuck if a...

Oh, my! Eddy: smile!

Huh?

Whoa!

Ha ha!

Huh?

Aah! Wood gone mad!

Yow!

Plank's gone mad!

Aah!

[Breathing hard]

Ah.

Whee.

[Giggling]

Boy: oh, boy!

Very, very pretty
doll. Let's play.

I need the car.

Take the bus. Ok, dear.

I want to look just
like you when I grow up.

Some animals get confused

And adopt another animal's
traits and characteristics.

Look, sarah.

[Giggling]

Yike!

Aah.

Look what you did to jimmy!

[Sobbing]

Hold that pose.

Ed: eddy, I don't
think that's... Aah!

Sarah, please don't
throw things in the house.

Eat doll!

Run!

Sarah's gone mad.

Hey.

Aah!

[Doorbell rings]

[Yelling]

Where's double d?

[Bonk]

There.

[Knock knock knock]

[Muffled speech]

What? What?!

[Muffled speech]

Look.

Hmm.

Is that nazz?

Huh?

Doh doh doh.

I see you.

That's it. I'm
coming to get you.

Whoa! Where did you go, dorks?

[Laughing]

[Music playing]

Some animals put on a display

To attract attention
of a suitable mate.

Cool.

Tv!

Ha!

Whoa! Whoo!

Will you guys hold still?

Aah!

[Crash]

[Moan]

Shh.

Hey.

Edd: some animals
resort to cannibalism.

During drought or famine.

I'm famine.

You're drought. I can't get a
good sh*t of rolf from here.

Follow me.

Hot dog!

Huh?

Get out of here, stupid!

Aah!

Aah! I am a wiener!

You are rolf.

Victor, we have poachers!

Victor?

Nice victor!

Victor's gone mad.

Whoa!

Aah!

Eddy, door!

That was close.

Let's go take some more photos!

[Yells]

It's kevin!

Aah!

[Yelling]

Whoa!

Whoo!

Do you think they
saw anything, plank?

[Yelling]

I've got you, dorks! Uh-oh!

[Honk honk]

[Burbling]

Yuck! This place reeks!

I think we lost kevin.

Look!

Hey!

Good work, ed.

All clear.

How did we end up
at the trailer park?

We should go now, eddy.

Not a chance.

One more picture, we
can finish our calendar.

And there it is.

The canker sisters?!
The canker sisters?!

Oh! Whoa!

I'm going to have
my best hair yet.

We're going to be irresistible.

You bet.

May! I'm getting crusty!

I'm coming, lee.

Sweet.

What's taking so long?

Quit your fussing
and hold still.

I'm going to be gorgeouser.

We're being abducted!

No, we're not. It's eddy.

Run, boys.

[Yelling]

Uh-oh. Well, well.

Nice of you boys to hang around.

[Grunting]

I hope these clothespins
don't leave marks.

♪ We're going to
make you pretty ♪

[Yelling]

Edd: what are we going to do?

Ed: look at me!

Eddy: I got some gel at my place. If
we're careful, no one will see us.

Smile.

[Giggling]