03x08 - Showtime

[bunniefuu]

♪ I hear the party,
hear the party, come on ♪

♪ We should be dancin',
should be rocking ♪


Aah!
Aah!

What do you think?

Static: well, the shoes
are a little last-season.

Static! Where did you
come from?

They're havin'
a white sale
on the fifth floor.

You'd think the bad guys
would know about
silent alarms by now.

That's us...
Silent but alarming.

Static: look out!
She's gassing!

Shall we?

Well, that's one down...

You'll learn
not to disturb
a woman

When she's out shopping!

Takin' "shop till you drop"
a little too literally,
don't you think?

Uh-oh. Gas leak.
How do we contain her?

[Muffled yells]

Say it loud!
We bad and we proud!

Huh?

You know, I always knew
being a superhero

Would give you
a big head,

But
that
is ridiculous!

Hey! It's me!

"Coming soon...
heroes,

A bernie rast
production"?

"Starring static"?

Looks like you got
your own tv show.

Since when?

I just gotta dot
a couple of is

And cross some ts, baby,
and static's as good as in.

Tell that pretty wife
of yours I said hello.

We'll do lunch next week.
All right.

♪ Whatever you perceive,
you can achieve ♪

Is this soy milk
in here?

I, um, ordered it
with soy.

But you didn't
personally witness them

Pour the soy milk
into my coffee!

Well, i--i, um...

Take this back,
and this time make sure
it's soy milk!

Even if it means

Climbing behind the counter
and pouring it yourself!

Got that, bradley?

It's brandon?
Whatever!

Um...m-mr. Rast,
I was just wondering

If you'd had a chance
to read my script yet?

Maybe I'll get to it
this weekend.

Well, uh, see,
the thing is

You've been saying that
for the past months now...

Look, kid, there are
more important things

Going on around here
right now!

And one of them
happens to be standing
in the window!

Hey, hey,

Static! Just the man
I wanted to see.

Brian, go get my man here
something to drink.

Water? Go get him
some water.

Are you making a show
about me?

Not
about
you.
The show
is
you.

Baby, it's reality tv.
I've produced shows
about cops, paramedics,

Politicians--you name it--

So when it came time
to do a show about
superheroes, ha ha...

Guess whose name
came up first?

Batman.

Ah...actually, superman,

But you were
right up there.

People dig you.
You've got fans
all across the country

Wondering just what is it
that makes you tick,
and we're gonna show 'em.

So you start
by putting up ads

Before I even agree
to anything?

Hey, that's just the way
the business works.

You gotta generate
a little heat, baby,

A little el-ec-tric-i-tay!

Ow.

Sorry, mr. Rast.
It's not for me.

Of course not.
It's for
them--

The street kids,
the kids with no future.

They need hope,
a role model,

Someone like you.

Even if the show
helped one of them,
just one,

Wouldn't it be worth it?

And all you wanna do
is follow me around
with your cameras.

You won't even know
we're there.

I'm bored.

You're supposed
to look bored.

Yeah, but for how long?

Rast is paying us
bucks an hour.
Who cares?

And bernie says
we'll hardly even
notice they're there.

They're not bringing
their cameras
in here, are they?

Oh, yeah. They're gonna
film everything we do--

Even when we go
in the bathroom.

Of course not!
Just on patrol.

Ok. I'm up for it.

After all, my mom
said I took the best
yearbook picture.

Yeah. And how hard
can it be?

It's just us doing
what we do every day,
right?

♪ Precious as stones ♪

♪ Words can hit home... ♪

[Background chatter]

I need some dreadsheen,
stat!

You're in my light!
That's it.

Give me heroic.
Yeah, that's it!

More iced tea?

Love some.

I love your mask.

It really sets off
your eyes.

Thank you.
I designed it
myself.

Oh, brother.
Everyone thinks
they're a star.

What's all this?

This here's
your optic camera

And that guy there's
the microphone.

They're powered
by this transmission
box.

Make sure this guy's
on all the time.

That too much
for you, flyboy?

No problem.

Hey, ladies and gentlemen,

The co-star of this show!

Save it.
What's wrong?

The studio guards
wouldn't let me through.

They thought I was
a delivery boy.

Chill out, man.
You're here now.

Have some iced tea.

We were supposed to have
started patrol
an hour ago.

Hey, hey, hey!

Ready to make some magic?

You must be the sidekick.

The partner.

Uh-huh. It's about time
you got here.

Just rember,
try not to get between static
and the cameras, ok?

I thought we wouldn't
even notice the cameras.

Rast here.
Start the helicopters!

Both: helicopters?

It's show time, boys!

It's like going on patrol
with the air force!

We're running out of
daylight, boys.

There's gotta be
some trouble down there.
Find it.

I think I see someone
jaywalking.

[Beep beep]
wait!

Backpack's picking up
a police metahuman
alert.

It's about time!

Over there.

Static: who's that?

Never seen him before.

Well, let's go
get acquainted.

I hate to tell you this,
whoever you are,

But bank hours
are from : to : .

You hear that?
Who needs writers?

You can call me
starburst,

And as for
banking hours,
I just extended them.

I'm afraid
I'll have to
charge you for that.

[Evil laugh]

We'll see how funny
you think this is.

♪ Little by little,
gonna take you down ♪

♪ Take you down ♪

He's got powers
just like yours!

♪ Step by step,
gonna tear you down ♪

♪ Gonna tear you down ♪

Ha ha ha ha ha!

I've never done that
before.

Haaaah!

If I were cutting
the show right now,

This would be
the perfect time
for a commercial break.

Got any ideas
how to take care
of this one?

I thought
you
were
the idea man!

Rast: come on, static.
Do something!

We're not sh**ting
a talk show.

What are you doing?

Gotta give the public
what it wants.

Anyway, we both have
the same powers.

How much harm
can he do to me?

Let's see what you got,
goldie.

Ha ha! That's what
I'm talkin' about!

Smile for the cameras.

[Grunts] uhh!

Aah!

Static!

You ok, man?

Oh...cut!

So we didn't get the scene.
So you were a little off
today--it happens.

The important thing is
next time you'll be ready
for this guy, right?

You got that right!

If he shows up
again.

He'd better
show up again,
because right now

The show ends
with our big star

Crawling out of
a pile of trash,

And somehow, I don't
think that's a ratings
grabber, do you?!

Dang!

Hey, man, relax.

I can't get over
how strong that
starburst guy was!

Every time
I amped up my power,
he did me one better.

If we'd put our heads
together,

I'm sure
we would have come up
with something.

What does
that
mean?

You shouldn't have
gone after him
like that.

Well,
someone
had to
do something!

That someone didn't have to
do it all by myself

Just to show off
for the cameras!

Oh, I get it.
You're jealous 'cause
the show's about me.

I could care less
about the show.

I wish I was never
even part of it.

No one's making you.

I was a solo act
way before
you came along.

Well, if that's how
you feel,

Maybe I shouldn't be
involved.

Tell rast I quit.

The sidekick's
late again, huh?

I...don't think
he's coming.

All the better.
I was gonna cut
around him anyway.

So, you ready
to take on starburst?

I guess so.

Come on, kid!
We need a big
performance from you.

The show, as they say,
must go on!

[expl*si*n]

That's gotta be him.

[Screaming]

Aah!
No!

Oh, no!

Movin' up
from atms, huh?

Aah! Not you again!

Aw, come on, goldie.
Is that all the welcome
I get?

I'm starting to feel
like you don't value
our time together.

Then again, maybe I'm wrong.

Stay on him!

Whoo! This is better
than a freeway chase!

♪ Little by little,
gonna take you down ♪

♪ Gonna shake you down ♪

♪ Step by step,
gonna wear you out ♪

♪ Gonna tear you out ♪

Aah!
Aah!

♪ Little by little,
gonna take you down ♪

♪ Gonna shake you down ♪

♪ Bow down, downtown ♪

♪ Bow down, downtown ♪

♪ Bow down, downtown ♪

♪ Bow down, downtown ♪

♪ Little by little by little ♪

♪ Little by little ♪

A little boost
oughta do it.

Aah! Aah!

We have a show!
We have a show!

What?!

So, you want
some more, huh?

Huh?

[Power amping up]

[Groaning]

Uhh...ahh!

Aah!
Aah!

♪ To be the best
I can be ♪

♪ Tell a kid
pride hits zero ♪

♪ That's what it takes
to be a hero ♪

Announcer:
heroes...

Next week!

Static!
[Echo] static...static!

I never imagined
static being
on a show like that.

So you're not
gonna watch?

Are you kidding?
I'm all over it!

[Doorbell rings]

Uh...don't get up.
I'll get it.

Hey, mr. H.
Is virgil home?

Yeah,
he's up in his room.

Mm. Be careful
up there.

Homeboy's ready
to tear somebody's
head off...

And eat it!

♪ Whatever you demand ♪

♪ Never in your way,
by you I must stay ♪

♪ Doesn't matter the hour
or the time of day ♪

[Knock on door]

Go away, sharon.
I'm not hungry!

That's not what
they told me
downstairs.

What do
you
want?

Hey, man, I just
wanted to stop by

And say I'm sorry.

[Sighs] yeah...

I'm sorry, too.

You were right.
I was a little jealous.

Ok, I was
a whole lot jealous,

But I shouldn't
have let it
come between us.

You? I was the one
acting the fool
for the cameras.

You were right.

I guess
we were both right...

Or wrong or...whatever.

Stupid me thought
that high tension wires
would give me an edge.

That's not stupid.
It should have worked!

Starburst
should have been
starbusted!

Nothing works.

Whatever I throw at him,
he throws back,
but stronger.

It's almost as though
he's feeding off me.

Hey...maybe he's not
a metahuman.

Pinky, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?

I can't believe
I gotta do all this
stupid stuff myself.

Static: come on!

Right here,
I'm doin' fine.

But here,
he's kickin'
my butt!

Yeah...i didn't
wanna say anything
about that.

Wait! Freeze that.

[Click]

The wires!
That's gotta be where
he's getting your powers from.

But how are they
being transmitted
from you to him?

I have
a pretty good idea.

Hey...

Have I ever lied
to the network?

I'm telling you,
this static stuff is great!

Stupendous!

As soon as I put it together,
I'll screen it for you...

And then make room
on the shelf
for a few more awards.

This stuff is the b*mb!
Ah! Yeah!

[Sighs] ah...

It's a b*mb, all right.
A stink b*mb!

Get the rubber band man
on the phone!

Thinking of
replacing me?

No. Thinking of changing
the name of the show
from
heroes
to
losers.

I put my reputation
on the line, buddy.

I promised a superhero
reality show,

And all I've got is
footage of a super-sized
butt-kicking!

Listen up!

I know how to
bring down starburst,

But to do it,
you have to film me
one more time.

Whaddaya say?
You want a show
or don't you?

Ok. You got
one more sh*t, kid.

And this time,
you better deliver.

See you on the set.

Rast: you sure
he's gonna show up?

I'm sure.
If I'm up here
making a show,

He's down there
making trouble.

Better close that.
We'll be at the museum
before you know it.

What in the world--

Aah!
Aah!

♪ It's my turn,
it's my turn... ♪

[Train horn honks]

Oh!
Oh!

♪ It's my time,
it's your time... ♪

What--hey!

Sorry, sunshine,
but I'm pretty sure
these don't belong to you.

You can't run from me,
static.

I'll always be faster.
I'll always be stronger.

Who's running?
I just wanted
to take it someplace

Where they could
sh**t my good side.

Stay on it!

So you enjoy
public humiliation.

Not this time.

I've got you
figured out.

When I realized
you were getting
your powers from me,

I had gear
check this.

Turns out
this
is how my powers

Are being transmitted--
but not anymore!

Looks like your show's
cancelled.

[Growling

Why's he lookin'
at the camera?

Not...again! Aah!

♪ Step back, step back ♪

♪ Showdown, time's up ♪

♪ Showdown, time's up ♪

You...

That's a wrap.

Nicely done,
partner.

Well, I couldn't
have done it
by myself.

First...get me
a sh*t of the heroes.

Ok. Now get in there
tight on the villain.

Yeah. Smile, pal.

Bradley!

It's brandon!

Brandon, you jerk!

You can't even
get my name right
on camera!

But why?

I need money to
produce my screenplay,

Which you never even
bothered to read.

Thanks a lot.
If only you had

Just paid me even
the slightest amount
of attention,

I--
[cell phone rings]

Yallo?

No kidding?

Well, has the network
seen the ratings?

No, no, no.
You tell them I expect
more episodes

Or I'm walkin'.
Do you hear me?

Bernie raft is walkin'!

And I put real milk
in your coffee every time!

Do you hear that?
Whole milk!

♪ Are you ready?,
Hey-eh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

So I read in the paper
that starburst

Was a brilliant
physics student

Who got bit
by the hollywood bug.

Hey, look!
"See dakota's hottest
crime-fighting duo.

Static and gear,
only on
heroes."

It's strange
how dreams of stardom
can change a person.

Yeah. It would never
happen to us, though.

Not a chance!

Does your name
look bigger than mine?

Of course!

Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!

♪ Yes, I am ready ♪