Love My Life (2006)

[bunniefuu]

LOVE MY LIFE

Eri.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

Give me some.

It's been three days.

Maybe he's mad at me.

But you called and said

you would stay here, no?

Yes, but I'm thinking maybe

it's time to tell him about us.

I think he will accept it fine.

You think?

Yes, because your father is

the wise, literate Izumiya.

Not like mine, who thinks

being gay is a disease.

Lots of ketchup.

I'm home.

Dad, what are you translating now?

Nid Cranz, a story

from The New Yorker.

Something wrong?

No.

I was just wondering what you were doing.

I was alone 3 days.

I missed you.

Ichiko, you were with a boyfriend,

not a friend, right?

Oh, no, I'm right.

You don't need to keep it secret.

Oh, really?

Do you want to know that person?

- Of course I do.

- Really?

Even if it scares me a little.

I'd be sorry for your mother

if you chose someone weird.

But, well, life is about

making mistakes.

So, even if it's someone strange

you will be ok, right?

Is he that weird?

No,...it's a nice person.

So, you are taking her

to meet him?

That's right.

- Umm, but...that's risky.

- It is?

I think so.

You may say he understands

our love, 'cause of his work,but...

if his own daughter brings a girlfriend

home, I'm not sure what happens.

Really? Eri thinks it will be fine.

I hope so too.

Our way of life is not very

accepted by society.

We may feel we are alone but

we have to deal with it.

Maybe Take is right,

but...anyway...

I took her so that she could meet my dad.

We met at a disco club.

Since our eyes met,

I knew I had been looking for her.

Suddenly I was dancing with Eri.

We've been dating since then.

- So... Eri, you study?

- Yes, I study at Jounan University.

Eri studies Law, to become a

lawyer. She's a hard working girl.

She also knows a lot about

Literature. Isn't it so?

I'm not sure, but I like to read.

Recently I read the anthology

of Hyrum's short stories.

That book has not been translated yet.

No, i read it in it's original language.

I found it very interesting.

You read it on the original version?

That requires quite some knowledge.

You have good taste.

The book I translated will be published

soon. I'll give you a copy, if you like.

Oh, yes, please! Thank you.

There are more than enough.

- Sir...

- Yes?

When I'm with Ichiko

my heart is filled with joy.

I don't know any girl that

sees things in such an honest way.

You are also lovely.

You have beautiful, sincere eyes.

Wow...

Ichiko, I haven't seen a girl so

beautiful since your mother. I'm embarrased.

Dady, you're turning red.

- That's because it's so hot in here.

- You're making that up.

- Were you surprised?

- Honestly, yes.

And then I realised that you are

a product of your mother and I.

I'm gay. And your mother was a lesbian.

Oh, I annoyed her.

I promissed your mother

I would never tell you.

Ichiko, your mother would forgive me, right?

Your mother and I were old friends...

and best friends.

But we were never in love.

It hapened that we broke up with

our partners at the same time.

And then your mother said she wanted

a baby, she wanted a family life.

I was surprised because I was

thinking the same.

So when we were going home

we decided to marry.

Ichiko, do you remember your

mother's friend, Chinami?

That woman so cute?

Yes, she was your mother's lover.

Look, this marriage

was not a farce.

When you were born

we felt so happy.

This is as if you saved

your father.

Saved?

He had to live his life hiding

his true nature from his daughter.

- That must have been really hard for him.

- But...

Why that face?

No reason to get depressed.

Ichiko, you were very

loved by both of them.

- I know. I don't doubt it.

- So?

But, Eri, if you wanted a baby

would you marry a man?

Unlikely.

I don't want a family.

I see.

And you?

Um...I can't imagine it.

You can't do anything but

to accept what was done.

Done, the other one.

So, can you understand them?

- No...all this seems illogical.

- I feel the same!

- No. Don't move. You will ruin it.

- Sorry.

But, you know, surely that

made their lives complete.

Better than living in a small world

trying to be logical.

For you, Ichiko.

Really?

This kind of surprises

causes a chain reaction.

This is how the world works.

Like domino pieces falling.

Ichiko, I told you the other day

your mother had a lover.

Eh...well...I also have one.

I mean, at the present time.

Well...I'm the one who wanted to

see you. Now I don't know what to say.

Me neither.

But this is good for both of us,

you know?

You don't need to make such an

effort to be nice.

- I'm not saying this out of spite.

- I know.

After all, you live in a

world different from mine.

He's the only person that

can visit both worlds.

During these 3 years that I've know him,

I've never been in your world.

It's not for you or him.

I just wanted to protect my world,

and him from me.

Well in my world he's not your

father at all.

- Hello.

- Hello.

I just left him.

He's not really that bad.

How old is he?

- He said 28.

- 28!

Surprising, isn't it?

He is a magazine editor.

It went well, right?

You saw he's ok.

Yes. But...

Maybe deep down inside he

hates me a little.

If I didn't exist he would have had

my dad's total devotion.

If you didn't exist, your father

wouldn't have atracted him.

You think?

If you think about it, you

realize the things that

motivate you the more

are the ones you hate.

Do you like my Special Eggplant Curry?

You like eggplants so much.

Sip, it's delicious.

There were fresh eggplants at

the market and I bought tons of it.

- Today curry, tomorrow soup and next day...

- Daddy...

I'm glad I met Mr. Tachibana.

Oh... Oh, yes?

Yes. You never brought

a woman here.

Luckily, it's because you're gay.

Um...

Maybe that's good for me.

You know, your lover.

This way he'll never say he

wants to be my mother.

What have you two talked about?

It's a secret.

But he gave me usefull information.

I see.

He's younger than I thought.

That surprised me.

Now I know you chose a difficult

path for your life.

All from one idea: having a baby.

If you had ignored that, your

life would have been easier.

But then I wouldn't have you.

Ichiko, what eggplant recipe do

you like? I'll cook for you tomorrow.

- Oh, really? Eggplant lasagna.

- Ok. It's a deal.

Thank you.

pa-ta-ta

How beautiful!

The sun is shining!

It's cold, but you keep me warm.

Someone else came out of season.

I think they're lovers.

Ichiko?

Chinami?

What a surprise to find you here!

Last time I saw you was at her

funeral,it's been 7 years,right?

Yes.

You're so grown up...

How's Hosei doing?

You know my father?

Of course, we studied in the same university.

Saeko was a senior at the

same institution,

now she's a teacher there.

In Rohmer Gakuin University?

Saeko...

Thanks.

- You already know everything.

- Yes.

I'm sorry I wasn't honest.

I've been coming here every year.

It reminds me the years I

spent with your mother.

But...

I understand her.

I also knew your mother.

She was lovely.

And so was your father..

They worked hard to give a

home to their beloved daughter.

But,you know? Sometimes things

are out of your control.

Your mother told me she didn't

see Hosei as her husband.

but that she loved him very much

as your father.

I think she told me the truth.

She couldn't give herself to a man

even if she could sleep with him.

How difficult humans are!

The person you love is not always

the one you can give yourself to.

- What? Are they...?

- Yes.

I'm amazed!

Ichiko, what are you looking for?

I found it.

Dady, mother loved this one, right?

Yes. So many memories!

Your mother used to sow

your dresses listening to it.

I watched her wanting to hold

her but I couldn't,

so I just watched...for a while.

Dad...

Is she still in your heart?

Yes, absolutely.

Suddenly your life

became dramatic.

Yes, of course.

Yukako, what is it?

Eh? yes...I...I left

something in the classroom.

In the classroom? That's that way.

Eh...I was mistaken.

Yes, goodbye.

- She's adorable.

- Yes, she is.

Sorry.

Excuse-me!

Should I come out of the closet?

What? Really?

I'm just thinking out loud,

It would be better if I could.

Yes, I know.

It makes me mad, you know?

I talk with the guys,

I listen to their stories,

but sometimes they ask me

"Take,do you have a girlfriend?"

- Hey, people think we are

a couple, did you know that?

- Yes, they also ask me that.

Well we can pretend it's true.

Why?

It would make you feel better.

Like this.

How about that?

No. Let me see...

Umm, I don't feel anything.

That's the good part!

Yes, That's the good part.

So now you are Take's

fake girlfriend.

Sip.

MMm

Wow, you're jealous. I didn't

think you'd mind.

I'm not jealous.

- Yes, you are.

- No, I'm not!

- Yes, you are.

- No, I'm not...

Of course...

- Ichiko

- Oh, Take.

- What are you doing today?

- I'm going shopping to Shibuya with Eri.

I envy you! You always seem

so happy together.

And you, what are you doing?

I...let me see... No,

nothing fancy today.

It means that, as always,

I'll stay home alone watching a DVD.

- Wow, how sad!

- I know you don't care.

Do you know Yamada, from my class?

With the very short hair? He's gay!Gay!

I was sitting behind him and

I saw it, under his book,

a disgusting magazine

with nude guys!

That's disgusting. That guy is weird...

You be carefull, you're cute...

Don't pay attention to those idiots.

But that's the idea they have

about us.

That's why we hide,

without breathing...

I know it's stupid but even

something this silly makes me sad.

They weren't speaking about me

but to me, it's as if they were...

This is sh*t. Should I keep

going on with this life?

We are just loving someone.

We just want that person

to love us.

- So one day,

oh, like that guy...

- the one that maried, what's his name?

- Who?

- That one! - I don't know!

- A foreigner...

- A foreigner? From what country?

- Oh, Elton John!

Why are you telling me this?

Well, because Elton John got married

proudly with a man.

See? Cheer up!

Thanks, Ichiko.

You are the only girl in the world

that I love.

Oh, really?!

And there you go...

- What? It was Cute!

- Let's go.

Eri.

Do you think we should keep hiding?

You mean you want to tell?

I don't know. And you?

To tell it doesn't mean

you'll feel better.

I know.

I told my father and he told me

stuff I didn't know. That was tough.

But I realised he's the only

one that really understands me.

Almost as I do...no, better.

He must have had a tough time.

When I thought about it,

I felt courage inside me.

I know what you're saying.

But, Ichiko,

what do you think would happen

if you tell everyone?

I think you'd have a breakdown after.

I don't have the time for that, you know?

I have important stuff to do.

How nice! I'll take it. Wait here.

Sorry.

Oh, Eriko!

So you're at the University,right?

- So you still want to be a lawyer?

- Yes.

So? Do you have one?

One, what?

A boyfriend.

Yes, I do.

Ah, ok, you have a boyfriend.

You also have a girlfriend, right?

No, no I don't.

Maybe it's because of you.

I still don't get it,

why did you leave me,

what did I do wrong.

Forget as soon as you can

someone who left you.

Do you know Eriko's boyfriend?

I'm curious, what kind of guy

would win Eriko's heart?

And what's it to you?

I don't know...

Come on! It's been a while.

Give me some details?

Oops, the cat ate your tongue?

I'm sorry...I'll see you at home.

Ichiko!

- Hey.

- Leave me alone!

Wait. Finding you here, it's

a miracle. We could...

Forget it! No matter what you

wish for, this is no miracle.

It's nothing but a coincidence.

Ichiko, wait.

I'm sorry I've put you

through this.

Ichiko, I'm really sorry.

That's not it.

It's just that...forgive me.

Ichiko.

I'm sorry Eri, but some crazy things

crossed my mind.

Please leave me alone.

Wait, Ichiko.

What crazy things?

You and that guy...

Ah,doing him or something...

Not something...

And that turned you on?

And...do you feel like it now?

Let's go!

You know...?

I used to wonder if I was a man.

What? So,how did you go out

with a guy?

I used to wonder...

I went with him because I wanted to know

if I'm a man or a woman.

After all, I didn't like him.

So you forced yourself to

go out with him.

Yes, kind of.

I've done it with a few

before him.

I thought it was a problem about sex.

But I always finished

thinking something was wrong.

I like sex. But not with a man.

I was very confused back then...

about who I was.

Now I have accepted it.

I like to be who I am.

It's right to love who I want.

Now I'm with you, Ichiko.

- Oh, Yukako, working on a paper?

- Yes.

What a teacher that Tanaka,

so demanding and always in a hurry!

Eh, Ichiko!

Yes?

I've been in love for a while now.

Eh?

With Hayashi.

Ah, with Take!

With Take?

Ah, here you are!

Sorry, forget what I told you!

What's the matter?

This... Take...

What's the matter?

I see.

I'm not sure I should have told you.

We are not an ordinary couple...

I'm glad you did.

I'm going to tell Yukako.

I don't want you to be bothered by it.

It's not a problem, Take. Think about it.

Telling Yukako is coming out of the closet.

You told me the other day

Elton John proudly got married, right?

It will be alright.

What are you doing? Acne?

No, I feel like having a new hairstyle.

Don't tell me a mohawk

or something like it?!?

What? Why?

You're joking, right?

Well, I'll think about it.

Mohawk? Me? No...

Sorry.

Hi, I noticed you come here often.

I like it...your hair.

I wonder if I could...

You want a new hairstyle?

I haven't decided yet.

I like it.

I like the way you have it now.

Excuse me,

I'll be off work soon...

I'm already regreting this...

Eh?

Talking to you.

What do you mean?

I don't like you.

And I don't want you to like me.

Because?

I want to be alone.

When I'm with someone I feel alone.

But I'm not alone

when I am with myself.

No,you don't have to understand me.

I'm just saying I'm not

changing my life.

But,don't you miss...

- I'm home.

- Welcome back.

What's wrong with you?

I'm sorry. I...

I kissed someone else.

So did I.

I kissed someone.

I'm sorry.

Is that true?

It's a lie.

So now you know how I feel.

I can't believe you cheated on me.

But, well...

it's over, no?

Wait, Eri, listen!

I don't know what came over me,

why I kissed her.

But, believe me, I didn't cheat.

Her hair was so beautiful...

I liked to look at her at the shop.

I talked to her,just to listen to her voice...

I understand.

I don't want to let anyone touch you.

I want you just for me.

This is how I feel.

I feel the same, Eri.

I don't really feel you cheated on me.

If you feel as I do,

then everything is OK.

I'm so sorry.

Well,shall we eat?

You know what? He fell in an out

of love in 5 minutes.

What are you saying?

The truth is that I was surprised,

at first.

I tought I could have a chance

if you broke up.

But I changed my mind.

Being gay he will not kiss,

or sleep with other girls.

it's weird, but that thought

was comforting.

I don't know why, but I don't feel

jealous about a male lover.

Are you seeing someone?

Yes.

I see.

- I'll introduce you to that person soon.

- Really?

What are you talking about?

Here he is.

What's that? Ouch, that hurt.

What? Sorry.

Take, don't worry.

Shut up,this is a public lybrary!

She didn't show up again.

Wow...great!

Couple, couple,

couple...all couples...

Hey, what are you talking about?

- About...forget it.

- Take...

Will you come with me to

buy Eri's Xmas gift?

How can you ask that

to a lonely guy?

No?

I was kidding. OK.

Want to go now? I'm free.

Not me, I have plans with Eri.

Wow, thanks for dismissing me.

I wonder what would Eri like.

What do you think? Something to wear?

Maybe some lucky charm. She's

working hard for her exam.

And when is it?

The first part at the beginning of the year

and the the rest over the next months.

Wow, I don't think she has

time for Christmas.

The exam is really difficult,isn't it?

Dont worry. Eri is very good.

Oh, it's Eri.

Eri, Eri... see you.

Hi.

I'm sorry, Ichiko, I'm

going to be a little late.

Why, what's the matter?

I had a call, I must see my father.

It won't take long.

You haven't seen him for a long time,right?

Take your time, we can go tomorrow.

He doesn't speak a lot.

Eri, what's your father like?

- Do you want to meet him?

- Eh?

Nice to meet you.

I am Ichiko Izumiya, Eriko...

Well, I don't have time for small talk.

As I told you before, if you don't succeed

I won't give you more money.

I know it.

Your brother Eiichi and me,

we passed it the first time.

Someone that fails on the first time,

doesn't have what it takes.

Plus, you are a woman.

You don't have to go through this

and be a lawyer.

Eiichi must work hard

to follow my steps.

But a woman like you,

you don't need to work.

Well, it's unlikely you will make it.

And why?

I can tell by the people you hang with.

I'm so sorry Ichiko, for this.

It's fine.

Some parents are like that.

I don't care what a man like that does.

But...you want to be a lawyer, right?

I hate to do the same as

my father and my brother.

But I want a place at the same table.

Or I won't be the same as them.

So you don't really want to be a lawyer...

I'm not cut out for that.

There's nothing I want to

achieve as a lawyer.

I just want to achieve it.

I don't understand it.

Why do you want so much to take

it even on your father and brother?

I've lived with this idea

all my life.

To deny it would be like denying myself.

Eri told me once that before exposing

yourself you should get a shield.

Now I think I finally

understand what she meant.

Merry Christmas!

Eri, your present.

Thanks, this is for you.

Thanks. Let's open them together.

How beautiful!

This is also very beautiful.

Let me put it on you.

How's that?

Great! I chose well.

Let me do it.

- Ichiko...

- Yes?

We have to stop this today.

Until I'm done with the exam,

we have to stop seeing each other.

You know,I can't keep

fooling around.

You look amazing.

What are you talking about?

It's Christmas.

No stupid jokes please.

I should have told you before.

What? Wait, Eri. Are you serious?

Why? I can't see you

until you finish it?

And between tests? Not even a little?

I'm sorry.

We've made it well so far, right?

I don't understand, Eri.

Why?...why?

Do you really want to be a lawyer?

Is that what you are saying?

But, then, what you said the other day?

You said you didn't care about it!

What now?...So, why?

Eri, say something!

You want it just to show off

in front of your father?

To get even! But your father...

Ichiko, look these fresh eggplants!

Dad,can I ask you something?

You and Mr. Tachibana,

how has it lasted so long?

You are both busy and

you have me here.

You don't have much time

to be together.

I ask myself if I could endure

something like that.

Did something hapen to Eri and you?

She told me she couldn't see me

until the exam is done.

And that we had to finish it today.

She didn't want to waste more time.

I can't stand it. How am I

going to deal with not seeing her?

I don't know what to do.

But it's all the same to you, right?

You also don't have time to waste.

It can be painful to

follow Eri's schedule.

You should live according to yours.

Well,it's time for eggplant curry!

Ichiko.

Your phone is disconnected,

I've been calling you.

I'm sorry, what's wrong?

I've got a boyfriend.

What?

I met him this Christmas.

Love at first sight.

- I'm happy for you, Take.

- Thanks.

So I won't be alone on New Year's Eve.

Have a happy New Year.

Yes, you too.

Next year it's going to be

my best year ever!

- See you around.

- See you.

"Happy New Year. How are you doing, Eri?"

"To Eriko Jojima"

You are not having Soba on New Year's eve?

Ichiko, this is getting spoiled.

Look, your favorite, fried eggplant.

Thanks.

Daddy,

These are all the postcards we

received? Are there any more?

No...I think they're all there.

Here are yours.

Ichiko, do you have a minute?

This is for you.

Try to translate the book.

Is this a story about

phone-sex calls?

Oh, good try.

Give me a break, dad.

Well, a literal transcription

will not be enough.

Try to make it readable,

like a professional.

You can't see Eri for now,

no matter how much you want it.

Dad,

the reason why Eri wants to be a

lawyer it's to get even with her father.

That's all. Nothing else.

I think that's completely wrong.

I don't know...

I can't give an opinion.

If you think how much Eri has worked

and how hard it was to get

to where she is now,

I can't say it's wrong

that easy.

"My hands travel

slowly down your body,

caressing your neck,

touching your back until

I reach your thighs.

Now, open your legs

to let me inside

your wet zone. "

Don't worry. She'll call you.

Even so, Take, it's a little

difficult to handle.

Eri wants to be a lawyer

to teach her father a lesson.

She'll never be happy thinking

like that.

Ichiko, this can be a

a little difficult, but...

I think you're being self-centered.

Maybe her motivation right now

is revenge, but...

once she starts working she will

find something she likes.

After all, you are just annoyed

because you can't see her.

That's not so.

Yes it is.

You should change the way you think

if you want to be with Eri.

If you don't do that, maybe there's

no choice but to end things with her.

- Good morning.

- Good morning.

What a surprise! You made

breakfast. Is it good?

It's good.

Shall we eat?

I read the translation

you did the other day.

To be a good translator

you still have a long way to go.

I gave it to my publisher and

he said the same.

But he thinks you have good qualities

if you would like to work as a reader.

You just have to read a book...

and make a sinopsis to help select

a book for translation.

Well, right now they need more people.

Ichiko, do you want to try?

Sure, let me try. I'd love to do it.

I'll introduce you to the manager.

Enough with work. Let's eat.

Dad, thanks.

I'll do all I can

to be a translator like you.

If you're going to try,

you'll have to be better than me.

You could loose your job.

You're crazy.

Dad, I might have to break up...

with Eri.

To be honest,they liked your

work. I gave it to several publishers.

They said: "It's your daughter?

Well done. She's good."

Sice they said such nice things

I will try to do it.

That's how it should be

when you are young.

Did you try your luck

when you were young?

I've done it always.

Excuse me.

Could I speak to the senior

manager, Mr. Kondo?

Can I have your name, please?

Ichiko Izumiya.

One moment, please.

I'd like you to read this.

This is a non-fiction book

with reputation on the E.U.

I'd like to have your report by

the end of the month. Can you do it?

Yes, I can.

You need to work on it more,it's

still hard to understand.

For instance, here, if you

use this expression...

Oh, hello.

Umm, it's almost, but...let me

see, the deadline is near...

Let me do it one more time.

- You don't have much time.

- I'll do the best I can.

It's a lot better! It's

well organized.

Thank you.

You chose the words very well.

You get an idea abot the whole story.

Good work. One moment,please.

"Eri"

I know it's soon but I'd like you

to read another one, what do you think?

OK.

This book was adapted into a movie...

"From Eri: I want to see you"

Eri!

Eri!

I'd like you to read this.

"LOVE MY LIFE" "Eriko Joujima"

I wanted to be sure about my feelings.

I thought if I could finish this

I could focus in studying.

I'm the main character, I wrote it

about me, without hiding anything.

Ichiko, if I didn't meet you

I couldn't have written this.

I'm not going to study more to the test.

I don't want revenge anymore.

I'm going to be a writer.

Eri.

Ichiko.

Eri.

"It doesn't matter how vulnerable I am,

it doesn't matter how much it hurts. "

"I don't need a strong shield anymore. "

"because I've realized

that being myself

protects me more than

anything else."

Wow, I can really relate to this.

"I don't blame anyone for who I am,

there's no other reason why I am as I am. "

"I'm just the product

of the way I feel. "

No matter what happens in the future,

we will not deny our feelings.

Some day we will be able to say,

really loud and really proud...