03x03 - Pretzel Logic

[bunniefuu]

( beeps )
You are now patched in with the rest of the team, Lieutenant.

Hello?
( tapping )
Is this thing on? Bee, can you hear me? I know we're checkin' locations where these Decepticon Scavengers might go to find old Cybertronian relics, but I'm all by myself on this mountain.

And I don't think there's anything here for these Scavengers to, you know scavenge.

We have to visit every site of Cybertronian activity on Earth, Grimlock.

Haven't there been hundreds of those, Sir? At least.

We don't want these 'Cons getting their hands on some ancient w*apon or b*mb that's been lying around.

Fixit, we have initialized the Decepticon Activity Beacon you devised.

Excellent! I am receiving your sig
[STAMMERING]

signal.

Simply plant the beacon in the ground and I will GroundBridge you to the next location to repeat the process.


( groans )
I'm gonna be rusty and obsolete by the time we finish this.

Fixit, any word on Optimus' arrival? We could use the help.


- No word yet, Lieutenant.


- Hey, Bee? How come you only gave me one of these beacon thingies? Given this morning's incident, Grim, I thought it best to restrict you to one mission.

Where any damage might be limited.

But you know what happened this morning was an accident!
- I said I was sorry! And.


- I appreciate that.

But there've been a lot of "sorrys" lately, so let's just take it one mission at a time for now, okay? Be careful out there.

Bumblebee out.

He just got done sayin' we need all the help we can get! But he sticks me out of the way and says I can't go anywhere?! Not cool, bee!
( echoing )
Not cool, bee!
( echoing )
Not cool, bee! It was an mistake! Everybody makes mistakes.

I'm not allowed to make one stupid mistake?
( shouts )

( crashes )

( shout echoing )

( rumbling )

( grunts )

( chuckles )
Good punch, my friend! The next wall that tries to att*ck you will surely think twice! Won't you come inside and have one of my pretzels? I sell them in the village.

Come.

Inside is much better than out here in the cold.

Especially with all of these walls assaulting you.


( laughs )
Come! Okay.

Two stupid mistakes Transformers Robots in disguise Robots in disguise
( roars )
Robots in disguise Robots in disguise GRIMLOCK: No, it's true, I'm not really here.

You only think you're seeing me.

I'm a
-a
-a "hallumination?" "Hallucinosity"? Halitosis!
( chuckles )
Maybe you're imagining me 'cause you ate too many of whatever those are.

I bet that's it.

Eh, where you are from is none of my business, but I would like to know your name.

It's Grimlock.

I mean, it would be, if I was real.


-
( chuckles )

- Okay.

Ah, yes.

This isn't weird for you? Even a little bit? I overheard part of your conversation before you punched my home.

Heh, heh! I know you meant no harm.

I'm sorry.

I just get so frustrated.

What exactly is frustrating you? That my boss totally over
-reacts every time I make a teeny mistake! Like this morning, I was helping some friends with a job and I started my part just a little early, and messed things up just a smidge.

A smidge! Hm.

Are you sure the problem isn't that maybe you need to learn patience? I guess maybe I do rush in without thinkin' sometimes.

Lots of times.

Lots and lots of times.

Sorry
( electricity crackling )
Sorry.

My bad.

Okay, patience! Can you teach me!? Like, really, really fast?
( chuckles )
I can teach you.

But first, you can help me make some pretzels.

But I want to learn patience right now! It's really important! So is making pretzels.


( yodeling softly )
Now you try.

Remember: The dough wants to be a pretzel.


( Grimlock yodeling gruffly )

( crashes )
I think I did that backwards.


( laughs )
Try again.


( both grunting, yelling )
Stop complaining and do your part, Thermidor.

And be quick about it.

I'm no swabby, ye scalawag! Just because ye stole me ship, it don't make ye a Cap'n!
( beeps, buzzes )
Ye want to see power, Clawtrap? I'll show ye power.

Heh
-heh
-heh! Huh!
( beeps )
How is everything going there, Fixit? Not too badly, Lieutenant.

Denny and Russell are just about finished weaning Preening Cleaning up Grimlock's little mess.

The Scrapyard should be one
-hundred percent in no time.


( tremendous crash )
Strike that.


( sighs )
I better check in with Grim.


- Patch me in will ya, Fixit.


- Right away.


- Grimlock! What's your
-
( beeps )
Can't talk.

Making pretzels with Brother Gunter.

He's making what with who? This one looks like a Snaketicon swallowed a bag of ball bearings.

I don't even know how that one caught on fire!
( chuckles )
I was wondering that myself.

I'm sorry, Brother Gunter I just don't think I'll ever get this right.

Friend Grimlock, do you really think I got this right on my first attempt? Or my second? Or my hundredth? Of course not.

But I stayed with my task.


- I stayed
- Patient.

Yes.

Because when you do, what you can achieve is amazing!
( rumbling )
Either that was a very crunchy pretzel, or something is not right It felt like it came from the catacombs.


( approaching footsteps )
Just grab whatever it is you came for and get out of here! Shut your oil
-hole, Tricerashot.

The others said they ran into Bots that wanted to capture them! I am not getting captured! For this mission, I be the Cap'n, ye be the Mate! Don't be forgettin' it again! Heh
-heh
-heh! There it be What is it? Clawtrap didn't know.

But it registered great power on our scanning instruments.

And I hope they're right, 'cause I'm gonna use it to take me ship back from that double
-dealer! GRIMLOCK: Decepticons!
- Brother Gunter, go back up.


- Grimlock, wait! No one comes to this chamber because it is unstable
- and if it conti
- No time! Get to safety! Let me handle this!
( exciting fast paced theme playing)

( roars )

( grunts )

( crashes )
Aah!
( rumbling )
No!
( clangs )

( thuds )
Oh, scrap!
( urgent theme playing )
Oof! Now we get what we came for
( crashes )

( thuds )

( groaning )
What in the name of the Sargassoid Sea? Now that I have retrieved my tools from upstairs, I am giving you both one chance to leave.

Brother Gunter, get outta here! Do not worry, my friend.

I am more than capable of protecting my home from the likes of simple burglars.

Even unusual
-looking ones.

Ye be brave, but ye stand between me and my treasure.


( gasps )

( groans )
Let's make sure this squishy never stands again.

Now, ye poor excuse for a bilge pump!
( gears whirring )

( electricity crackling )
Ooh!
( groans )

( grunts )
Ooh! Whoa! Oof!
( Grimlock grunts )
Oof! I am all right.

I landed on bags of flour
( groans )

( grunts )
Wait.

Slow down.

Bee, we got a problem!
( clangs )
Hey! I don't want to hurt you.

Stand down, and we'll be on our way.

Don't chat with him! att*ck him!
( loud crashing )

( clanging )
Heh
-heh
-heh!
( chuckles )
I feel like I could take on a whole fleet!
( grunts )

( crashes )
Ooh! Ah, Clawtrap, I'm goin' to enjoy presentin' ye with this prize, so I am Heh, heh!
( groans )
after I practice a little more with it! Ahem Hit 'em where it hurts, team! Ooh!
( clanging )

( thudding )

( Thermidor grunting )
Let's wrap this up, fast.


( thuds )

( both yell then grunt )

( Thermidor grunting )
Huh? Wh
-whoa!
( groans )

( grunts )
Ah!
( clangs )
Uh! Aaarggh! What are you doin'? Cut it out, cut it out, cut it out! Your voice was in my head How did you resist me?
( crashes )

( groans )

( both grunting )

- Whoa!
- Unh!
( grunting )
Our enemies do not have much of a head start, so we should be able to BROTHER GUNTER: Is everyone all right, Grimlock?
( gasps )
Robots in disguise, Grimlock, robots in disguise.

Do not be frustrated with Grimlock.

I will tell no one that I have seen you.

Brother Gunter's cool, Bee.

We can trust him.

How can you be so sure?
( celestial singing )
Yeah okay.

Uh Hey, back to business! Lets rev up and roll out! Sorry I rushed in to att*ck that Decepticon.

You tried to tell me the room was unstable.

Heh
-heh
-heh! Never think about the pretzels you have already baked, Grimlock.

Only think of the next one.

BUMBLEBEE: Time to ride, Grimlock!
( tires screeching )
Bee! Optics on our target, 2 o'clock and down! BUMBLEBEE: C'mon, team.

We've got some ground to make up! STRONGARM: Shouldn't we wait for Grimlock? We can't risk the 'Con getting away.

Grim will catchup.


( engines roaring )
Company coming! Arr! Thermidor to Clawtrap.

Come in, ye mutinous dog.

CLAWTRAP: A poor loser is just a loser, Thermidor.

Send me a GroundBridge portal.

I got treasure in me trunk and Autobots on me bumper! CLAWTRAP: I would, but your GroundBridge on your ship shorted out.

We're working on fixing it This ship is the biggest piece of junk in the galaxy.

I'm surprised we're even able to keep the comms
( electronic interference )
Clawtrap? Clawtrap!?
( grunts )
I think we be on our own.

Not for long Bumblebee! Hold back! I've fought those guys! I can help!
( groans )
Be quick, but don't hurry Be quick, but don't hurry Get off me bow, ya garbage
-barge!
( grunts )

( clangs )

( brakes squeal)

( thuds )
I am unharmed! Continue pursuit.

Can we skip our usual "I have this," "No, I have this" argument and just work together for once? Sounds like a plan.

Does this mean we're growing up? Meet you in the middle!
( brakes squeal )

( clangs then both grunt )
Let's go back to arguing.

Yeah, why mess with a proven formula? I can't shake him on this pass! Try getting off the pass!
( thuds then tires screech )

( grunts )
He's stickin' with me like a bad
-luck Albatronus! But maybe if I give him somethin' else to think about
( grunts )
You're going down, Decepticon.

I don't think so, Autobot In fact, if you take one step closer, it's gonna be a whole lot of squishies goin' down! Huh?
( gasps )
You're just going to make it worse for yourself, Decepticon.

Aw, your concern for me be touchin', so it is.


( rumbling )
No, Bee, don't rush in.

Wait for me! We'll take him together! Aah!
( grunts )

( both grunt )

( groans )
What are you doing!? You've won! No one else needs to get hurt! That Autobot has partners, remember? And they'll be after me soon enough, unless they're busy with a different problem.

Heh, heh! Any other objections?
( clangs )

( grunting )
Aah!
( screams )

( crashes )

( grunts )
Down, lobster! Mean lobster! Bad, bad lobster!
( clanging )
Doh! Oof! I've found one.

STARSCREAM: Don't let it out of your sight.

With any luck it will lead us to the others
- Uh!
- Aah!
( groans )

( grunting )
Ye won't be able to dodge me forever, ye lumberin' bolt
-sack!
( grunts )
I wasn't planning on it.


( grunts )

( clangs then thuds )

( gasps gruffly then groans )
What's the matter with ye, ye lube
-livered coward!
( groans )
Ye want a Dinobot destroyed right, do it yerself.


-
( grunts )

- Aah!
( grunts )

( grunts )

( clangs )

( grunting )

( groans )
And once I'm done with him, MiniCon, I'm gonna twist you into a sheepshank knot! Twist like a pretzel Like a pretzel!
( clangs )

( grunts)
Oh, sorry, I didn't mean to Oh, watch where you're goin'! Sorry to keep ye waitin', Dinobot but now it's time for ye to walk the plank!
( grunting )
Be patient Wait for him
( slow motion grunt )
Aah!
( grunts )
You wanted to be a pretzel!
( Bee groans )
Oh! Did we win? Heh, heh!
( groaning )
No! Don't let them
( sighs )
Well, it's not a total loss The criminals got away, but we saved the artifact.

I'm not so sure that Mini
-Con is a bad bot, Bee.

He wasn't on our side, but he didn't seem crazy about that Decepticon, either.

I hope you're right, but let's not jump to any conclusions.

That MiniCon was very powerful.

We can't afford to let our guard down.


( vehicles approaching )
Nice work, Lieutenant.

Don't look at me.

This was all Grimlock.

Yeah? Walk us through it, big guy.

How did you single
-handedly b*at those Scavengers? I guess I finally learned some patience.

I'd say you learned it pretty well.

What, is there some kind of secret patience academy up here? Something like that.

Aw, and how did that one catch on fire?! I was wondering that myself.

Don't worry about it.

"The last pretzel has already been baked.

Think only about the next one".

The dough wants to be a pretzel.

It wants to be a pretzel.

Uh, I think I did that backwards.


- Heh
-heh
-heh!
- Try again.