04x01 - King of the Hill, Part 1

[bunniefuu]

( eagle screeches )

( engine noise growing louder )

( action theme playing )
PATROLMAN: Dispatch, we are in pursuit of the suspect, heading into Grand Valley.

DISPATCHER: Careful.

He's already intentionally caused five accidents and run 12 motorists off the road.

Roger that, Dispatch.

We'll stay on our toes against this joyrider.


( siren wailing )

- Huh?
- Huh?
( metallic thud )

( Patrolmen grunt )
How did he get behind us?
( tires screeching )
Ugh!
( metallic thud )

- Oof!
- Ugh!
( both screaming )

( siren stops )

( engine revs )
These roads are mine now! Stay off of them or pay the toll!
( revs engine then laughs )
Get us outta here.

I'm gonna tell Dispatch to evacuate and cordon off the area.

I don't know what that SUV's deal is, but we're not gonna mess with him.

Especially considering what's in this valley.


( dramatic theme playing )
Transformers Robots in disguise
( roars )
Robots in disguise Robots in disguise
( upbeat theme playing )
Hm.

Nice move.

Thanks!
( clangs )
You're leaving yourself open on the left.

Thanks, I'll keep an eye on it.

Ugh This is ridiculous.


( thud )

- Ow!
- You, uh, left yourself open right about here.

We need something to punch besides each other.


( beeping )
Listen, Bee Hi, guys! Are you here to help me catalog the Cybertronian artifacts we've been collecting?
- It's really fun!
- Yeah.

You need to find us some action, Bee.

Sideswipe is correct, lieutenant.

Continued inactivity could cause us to lose our combat edge.

We need to get back to basics.

The Cybertronian Law Enforcement Manual calls for officers to be in a state of constant preparedness.


( chuckles )
Throttle back, you two.

We've handled some massive threats, like Megatronus, Starscream, and Decepticon Island.

We haven't lost a thing.

We're a well
-oiled problem
-handling machine.


( rumbling )

( loud crash )
What'd I miss?
( sighs )
Excuse me, Russell, your stabilizer coverings are not secure.

You don't fool me, Jetstorm.

My shoes are tied.


( laughing )
Over there! Megatronus is forcibly removing sugared treats from the grasp of that human infant.

Nice try.

Ugh! Fifteen made kicks in a row! I'm so ready for today's championship game! Your accuracy is most impressive, Russell.

It is hard to believe you were a novice just a short time ago.

Hank? On my team? She helped me figure out the math, the angles I need for every kick.

Now, I never miss.

It's just a matter of working the problem.

I can handle anything.


( alarm sounds )
FIXIT
( over PA )
: All personnel to the Command Center, imme
-imme
-imme
-imme
( clangs )
immediately.

Based on the highway patrol's reports of drivers being run off the road, they might be dealing with a Decepticon.

Given that there is an underground nuclear waste disposal site in the area, I thought it best to inform you.

You did the right thing, Fixit.

But you said might be a 'Con.

Are you reading a Decepticon signal at that location? I cannot confirm, lieutenant.

It's possible, mineral deposits at the location are affecting my sensors.

Well, if it is a Decepticon, it sounds like an annoying road
-hog, not a world
-conqueror.

And action on the roads shouldn't affect the nuclear waste disposal site.

Strongarm, Sideswipe, you want some action GroundBridge over and look into it.


- Yes, sir!
- Aw, yeah! Finally! Let's rev up and roll out! Uh
-uh.

Mine.

If it's a big problem, call it in and we'll come help out.

But I'm sure you can handle it.

Yeah, so are we! We'll do you proud, sir.


( action theme playing )

( gears whirring )
Strongarm to Fixit, we are on site.

FIXIT
( over radio )
: I
-I read you, cadet, though there continues to be interference.

BUMBLEBEE: Bumblebee here, Strongarm.

Stay off the road and activate desert camouflage.

Humans have evacuated the area, but they've set up roadblocks.

I don't want you seen.

Robots in disguise, coming up, sir.

Ahh.

I always did like this pattern We'll keep you posted on our progress, Scrapyard.

Strongarm out.


( engines revving )
SIDESWIPE
( singing )
: Dah
-da
-da
-dah
-dah Sideswipe! Don't drift in the turns! Stay in formation!
( Sideswipe continues singing )
And no humming! Apply some coolant, would ya? Bee's right! We're at the top of our game! Ha.

I'd like to see something even try to surprise us.

Aliens! Whoops.


( mystery theme playing )
Aliens! Have you seen any? Any aliens in these parts? Uh No? Well, they're around, I know they are! Been lookin' for 'em for 40 years! But I think the government's been hidin' 'em from us!
- Nice paint job.


- Thanks? Um We'll be sure and let you know if we come across any aliens.

Good, good I know they're around here somewhere.


( chuckles )

( soft theme playing )
Ready to lose, losers? We're not scared of you.

All you have is a decent kicker, and he's not even that decent.

You're gonna see how decent I am.

I never miss and I'm prepared for anything you throw at me.

Hey, stretch?
( engine noise approaching )
SIDESWIPE: Okay, seeing that weirdo was a little surprising.

STRONGARM: Yeah, and we were lucky he didn't
( tires screeching )
You're trespassin'! I've claimed this valley for my chief, so you better peel out and never come back! Loud, obnoxious and ugly.

Definitely a Decepticon.

Fun time's over, 'Con.

You're coming with us.


( laughs )
Oh, Autobots! I'm quaking in my brake shoes!
( laughs )

( gears whirring )

( tires screeching )
Whoa! Halt! Whoa! It has been a long time since I've seen such speed and agility.

What do you mean? You work with me every day.


( grunts )

( gears whirring )
We should take this 'Con in the tunnel, where he can't use that agility.

That's what procedure says.

Does procedure also say, "yeah, duh!" No kidding, we take him in the tunnel!
( gears whirring )
I don't get it.

Where'd he go? Just stay alert and keep the chatter to a minimum.

You know procedure.

I know I'm gonna turn off my audio receptors if you don't give all this procedure stuff a break.


( Heatseeker roars )

( Strongarm grunting )
Ugh! You came into the wrong valley this time, Autobots!
( laughs )

( rumbling )
Ugh! Oh, scrud! What? Who brought down the house? Think hard.

It'll come back to you! Now, come on!
( both grunting )

( energy w*apon f*ring )

( gears whirring )

( action theme playing )
Well, I hope you're happy, blowing another pursuit with your total lack of discipline!
- Me?
- If you'd gone by the book, maybe he wouldn't have had the drop on us.

SIDESWIPE: If you hadn't had your hood ornament buried in the book, we might've had the drop on him.

Now you're still yakking about discipline while that 'Con's getting further away.

And now we have to go around the mesa to catch up.


( gears whirring, engine revs )
Okay, I'm not saying you're right, but you have to admit, our team's nowhere near as sharp as it should be! Speak for yourself.

I'm more than sharp enough
- to bring in this 'Con.


- You hope.

We don't know anything about him.

So let's change that.

Strongarm to Fixit.

Fixit here.

And sorry to see that the interference situation hasn't improved.

Fixit, we need data on a particular kind of Decepticon.

Very fast, very maneuverable.

Sending you video reference.

That's definitely a Decepticon.

A Stunticon, to be precise.

I'm going to loop in Lieutenant Bumblebee.

What's up, Fixit? Cadet Strongarm and Sideswipe encountered a Stunticon, sir, a criminally reckless daredevil who derives thrill from harassing others and occasionally committing roadside crimes.


( groans )
I'm familiar with them.

Strongarm, are you there? Is this Stunticon turning out to be a big problem?
- Well
- Bee, this is Sideswipe.

No problem! We're on it like stripes on the highway! Out!
( gears whirring )
We're on it? That 'Con just dropped a tunnel on us.

He was lucky and caught us by surprise.

Listen, we should be able to deal with this on our own.

Yes, but procedure We can't yell for help at the first bump in the road.

Not after all we've been through since we came to Earth.

All right, that's true.

But we really need to take an approach that's more thought
-out, considered and By the book? Fine, fine! Can we just get back to catching our 'Con? Remind me to thank Fixit for these portable detectors.

I have the 'Con's signal, but it's all jangly.

Probably that interference again.

Up there.

The top of that butte.

Per regulations, I'll take the lead.

Clear? Crystal.


( action theme playing )
STRONGARM: Okay, ha, ha.

Let me through.

I said I was going to lead, and you need to Sideswipe! SIDESWIPE
( laughing )
: Oh, I'm
-I'm
-I'm sorry, officer, did you say something? What was that? I
-I didn't I
-I missed it!
( engines roaring )

( gears whirring )

( distant expl*si*n then whooshing noise )
Tell me those are signal flares.


( gasps )
Missiles! Punch the gas, or we're scrap! SIDESWIPE: This Stunticon sure didn't do his homework.

If we can spot a m*ssile from this far out, it's no problem to get out of its way.

Whoa! Unless they're guided missiles!
( whooshing growing louder )

( tense action theme playing )
SIDESWIPE: Does the procedure manual cover this? STRONGARM: Yeah! It says drive faster than the missiles! The missiles' reaction time is phenomenal! It's almost as good as ours! Almost.

Almost! Strongarm, that's it! Swing around and drive toward me as fast as you can!
- Why would I?
- Just do it! Will you tell me what the plan is? Veer left when I give the word! What's the word?
- Not yet
- Sideswipe.

Sideswipe! Sideswipe!! Now!
( energy crackling )

( gears whirring )

( grunts )
Ugh.


( groans )
Let me guess, regulations say, "Take cover and get the rest of the team involved?" And I thought you couldn't read.

Strongarm to Scrapyard, urgent! Come in Scrapyard!
( radio static )
Ugh!
- It's that crazy interference.


- Keep trying.


( beeping )
Strongarm to Scrapyard.

Strongarm to Scrapyard.


( soft theme playing )
Come on, Russell! You have this, you have this! Big kick now, big kick now! Hey, batta batta batta! Here we go, here we go! Ho, ho! Ha, ha! Hah! Knock this kick through, Rusty.


- We want the lead at halftime.


- From this close? We might as well put the points on the scoreboard now.


( sighs )
Ready! Hut
-hut.

Hike!
( grunts )

( grunts )

- Ugh!
- Ugh!
( whistle blows )
That's halftime, everybody! That's the first one you've missed in I don't know how long.

No biggie, no biggie.

Only down two points.

No problem, get 'em in the second half.

Super kicker, super kicker.

Hey, Fixit.

I finished the first index of Cybertronian relics we've found.

Now, should I send it to your STRONGARM: Strongarm to Command Center! Come in! Fixit here with Lieutenant Bumblebee, cadet.

Go ahead.

Requesting immediate backup.

Situation critical.

Are you sure it's critical, Strongarm? Look, I know you want us to be more by the book, but Yes, I'm sure, sir! Extra critical! Extra
-extra critical! All right, we're on our way.

Heh! Aw, those kids.


( beeping )
Coordinates fixed on Strongarm's and Sideswipe's positions.

Thanks, Fixit.

Well at least the desert's pretty this time of year.


( GroundBridge powering up )

( GroundBridge powering down )
Over here! Hurry! What's the situation?
- Does that Stunticon have some friends?
- No.

Sir? Has he claimed hostages and is threatening to harm them? No! Listen
- Does he have cats?
- He has missiles! Guided ones.


- Whew!
- Okay Well, that makes things a little more interesting.

But still, one 'Con with some missiles shouldn't be too tough.

Not for all of us.

You guys need to get used to the idea that we can handle anything.

You're overlooking a key fact.

The nuclear waste disposal site! If a m*ssile were to explode against the desert floor, the concussion might damage the underground containment facility.

And create a leak that could poison the entire state! All right, our key is gonna be the element of surprise.

The Decepticon doesn't know that there are five of us.

Actually, Bee, I think he has a pretty good idea.


( dramatic theme playing )
BUMBLEBEE: One for each of us.

Scrap!