01x04 - Home Sweet Homeless

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Black Scorpion". Aired: January 5 – June 30, 2001.*
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Follows a female police officer, who by night takes to the streets and fights crime as the superhero the Black Scorpion.
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01x04 - Home Sweet Homeless

Post by bunniefuu »

(ominous music)

- She's alive, she's alive!

- Where am I?

- In the sewer. (laughs)

- I don't understand.

- You went down the drain,
lady, just like the rest of us.

- Who are you people?

- We ain't the Rotary Club!

(all laughing)

- Shut up and let the Doc explain.

- Alright, at ease, at ease, men!

I'm Butcher Bill, th
Infantry, Vietnam .

I was a medic in the w*r.

This here, this is Speedbump.

He used to be a school bus
driver until the city fired him.

The guy with the crowbar,
we call him Crowbar.

- Hi.

- How did I get here?

My invention sends
vibrations into the ground

which negates the rolling
motion of the plate tectonics,

thereby eliminating
earthquakes completely.

(machine whirring)

(dramatic music)

(crashing)

(crashing)

(tires screeching)

(crashing)

(sirens blaring)

(crowd yelling)

(glass shattering)

(dramatic music)

You're too late Black Scorpion!

Countdown has already started.

- What?

- That's when the largest earthquake

in history will swallow the entire city.

I could feel it coming already.

- Are you ready to give yourself up?

(punching)

Professor Undershaft, no!

- Al I ever wanted to do was be a hero.

Now I've finally got my chance.

- Don't do it!

(exploding)

- I have just one question.

- [All] Just one!

- Who is Black Scorpion?

(tires screeching)

- [Black Scorpion] Fire!

(g*n f*ring)

- [Narrator] In the light of
day Darcy Walker is a cop.

But in the dark of night
she becomes Black Scorpion.

(dramatic music)

Doing with a mask what
she can't do with a badge.

(g*n f*ring)

(laughing and chattering)

- Don't you guys have
anything better to do?

Seeing you is always a kick.

(thudding)

- Get her!

- So many men, so little time.

(punching and grunting)

You know, the trouble with
fighting you Chinese gangs

is that an hour later I wanna do it again.

(yelling)

I bet that stings.

- I just wanted to say thank you.

- Pleasure was all mine.

- Walker, what do you think
of hair color for men?

- Happy birthday, Cap!

- Oh, no!

How'd you guys find out?

- Cap, we're detectives, you
can't hide anything from us.

- Yeah, Cap, why are you trying to keep

your birthday a secret, anyway?

- Because I don't wanna be
reminded I'm getting older.

- Just exactly how old are you, sir?

- Well, I'm pushing .

- Yeah, you're pushing if you're

coming around the back from .

- You know, it's been quite a while

since you two have been on parking detail.

- Yeah, and it's gonna be a lot

longer after you see what we got you.

- Really?

- A very special gift.

- For a very special Captain.

- Well...

You shouldn't have.

- Oh yeah, Cap, go baby, go!

- A Relax-o chair!

- Yeah, with it's own remote for

a deep tissue shiatsu massage.

You ready?

- Yeah, st precinct.

(rumbling)

- Go Cap, go, go Cap go!

- Hold on one second.

Captain, it's for you.

- Strickland.

Oh yes, hello Mr. Mayor.

Turn it off.

- [Slugger] Turn it off?

- [stuttering) Yes, sir, what?

No, I'm fine sir, nothing's wrong.

Yes, I understand.

Pension?

No sir, I'm not anywhere near retirement.

What is going on?

Right away, sir.

- Got it, got it.

- That thing is a death trap!

- Cap, what'd the mayor want?

- He wants me to retire.

In the meantime, he wants to
start Operation Cleansweep.

- [Steve] What's that?

- Well, it's the Mayor's
latest campaign strategy.

As of now, we are responsible for

getting the homeless out of city limits,

or at least out of sight.

- Wait a minute guys, this isn't right.

- Well, right or wrong it's
our job to enforce the law.

- I know, but it sounds like
he's ordering us to break it.

- Are you refusing an order, detective?

- No, no, no, no, no, she's not, Cap.

We are all over that.

- [Darcy] Steve!

- Come on, Darce.

Cap, happy birthday
and many happy returns.

Hey, hey, wake up.

- Ma'am I'm sorry, you're
gonna have to move along.

You can't stay here.

I'm sorry.

- [Slugger] Alright man,
come on, come on, come on!

- Don't move, scumbag!

- Don't move, man!

Don't move!
- What is it?

- Come on, you got him?
- I didn't do anything.

- Get him, get him.

Get off our street, man!

- God, I hate this.

- Yeah, I know, me too.

- You got him?

I got him.

Alright lady, come on, lady!

Come on, lady!

- When I was found almost dead you people

took me in and nursed me back to life.

You gave me back my life and the

memory of who I used to be, a fool.

- You're no fool, Shock.

- Only a fool would
sacrifice herself to save

this cesspool they call
the City of Angels.

(crowd cheering)

This city turned its back on you and me.

We've not only been driven out of town,

we've been driven under it!

(crowd agreeing)

We are about to resurface

and claim the City of Angels as our own.

- How are we gonna do it?

- With this.

Once the echo wave generator is up

and running we are going to use it to

make everyone above
ground tremble with fear!

(crowd cheering)

- [Crowd] Aftershock,
Aftershock, Aftershock!

- That was some speech, Aftershock.

- Yeah, right now that's
all it is is a speech.

I need to fuel the echo wave generator

and I can't do it without vibranium.

- Oh, you've got it, chief,
we're gonna go get you a t*nk.

What do you need, leaded, unleaded?

- It's not gas, you fool!

Vibranium is the byproduct
of a stress resistant metal.

- Uh, stress resistant?

- Yes.

It's supposed to stop buildings

from falling during earthquakes.

But little do they know what
I'll use it for. (laughs)

- Where do we get it?

- That's the great thing about metal.

No one wants to steal it.

Hey, metal, steel, get it?

(engine revving)
(crashing)

(dramatic music)

(punching)

(yelling)

- [Dispatcher] Attention, break-in

in progress at City of Angels Metal.

Any available units please respond.

- That's us.

- Unit niner responding.

(tires screeching)

- Okay, let's go look for that vibranium.

- No, she said we had to listen for it.

- Oh, God!

What the hell would they want here?

- I don't know but there's
only one way to find out.

- No, we are not going
in until we get backup.

- If we do that whoever's
inside's gonna be long gone.

I say we move now.

- [Steve] No, no, we follow procedure.

We are not going in until backup arrives!

- Forget procedure, okay?

You take the front, I'll take the back.

(suspenseful music)

(door creaking)

- You hear anything?

- No.

(g*n clicking)

- Yes, it sounded like a g*n being cocked.

- Congratulations.

You've just won yourself an all

expense paid trip to the county jail.

Now raise your hands up.

Get 'em up!

You too, donkey breath.

(punching)

(electricity zapping)

(groaning)

- How does it feel to
be a die-cast detective?

- The key word is die. (laughs)

- You ready, Speedbump?

- Are you ready, Crowbar?

- I can't wait to see what we're gonna

get when we mix this
steel with this copper.

(laughs)

- It's Black Scorpion.

- And you are?

- Just leaving.

- You have the right to remain silent.

- They're getting away!

- But you're not.

(smacking)

(engine revving)

- Steve, you okay?

- Oh, yeah, I'm just fine,
just dandy, no thanks to you.

- What did I do?

- Nothing, that's the problem.

I told you we should
have waited for backup.

- I'm sorry, I just I didn't think--

- Exactly, you didn't think!

You didn't use your head!

From now on we do everything by the book!

- Hey, take it easy, I said I was sorry.

It's not like they got away with anything.

- Okay.

Now the question is, what were
they trying to get away with?

- There's our answer.

- Who the hell would
wanna steal vibranium?

- There's only one person we know.

- Aftershock?

- But Aftershock is dead.

I mean, she did a foot
freefall into the earth.

- But the body was never found.

- Oh Darce, come on, there's no way

she would have survived that drop.

- Steve, who else would
want to steal vibranium?

- We have no proof that
those street people

were trying to steal vibranium.

For all we know they were just
looking for a place to sleep.

(banging)

- Fine, when an earthquake shakes you

out of bed tomorrow then
maybe you'll believe me.

- Earthquake!

Duck and cover!

- [Argyle] Don't need it.

Don't need it.

I don't even know what this
is, so I know I don't need it.

- Argyle!

- Hey, baby.

Why are you giving me dirty looks?

- Since when do you have a
problem with dirty looks?

Or dirty floors, or dirty anything else?

- Excuse me?

- This place is a mess!

- It's a garage, it's
supposed to be a mess.

- Being a mechanic is no
excuse for being a slob.

- It's not?

- No.

Now look, start sweeping.

I want this place to shine
like that bald head of yours.

- You didn't get it?

- Black Scorpion showed up.

- You got beaten by a bug.

- She was a big bug.

- Looks like if I want this job done right

I'm going to have to do it myself!

- Whose move is it?

- I think it's mine.

(crashing)

- Actually, it's mine.

(electricity zapping)

- I think this job is
getting too dangerous.

- Yeah, at the bank the
crooks only sh**t b*ll*ts.

- Music to my ears.

(electricity zapping)

(exploding)

- So I was right, you are alive.

- You have a nasty habit of surviving.

- I could say the same about you.

(punching and grunting)

What do you want?

- The same thing I always
wanted, to be a hero.

- So what are you going to do?

- I told you I'm going to execute justice.

But first I'm going to execute you.

(electricity zapping)

This test is going to show us how close

we are to bringing this city to its knees.

(laughs)

- Baby!

Baby, come down and check it out.

This place is clean as a whistle.

(rattling)

(crashing)

(sink shattering)

- Earthquake!

- Yeah, right, I'm not
gonna fall for that again.

(rumbling)

(crashing)

This is the best massage I ever had.

(laughs)

(tires screeching)

(screaming)

- Well, (machine humming)

at least we know it works.

- Ha, I don't know about
you guys, but I feel great!

(office workers chattering)

- Is this your idea of a joke?

- Baby, you gotta believe me!

This place was spotless
before the earthquake.

- Oh, right, blame it on the earthquake.

- You gotta believe me!

I swear this place was--

- I don't gotta do nothin' and that

includes giving you my tender lovin'.

- You wouldn't?

- Watch me.

- But, it wasn't my fault--

- But nothing, clean up or shut up!

- What am I gonna do, blue?

My place is such a mess I
can't even find my broom.

- Don't worry, I'll loan you mine.

- Really?

- Really, in fact, I might
even help you clean it up.

- [Argyle] You'd do that for me?

Girl, you alright!

- If you did something for me.

- Name it!

- Aftershock's alive.

I need you to invent
something to help me find her.

- Aftershock's alive?

- And she's got vibranium
and you know what that means.

- Yeah, that means I'll be sweeping

that garage until my dying day.

- And while the city cleans up the mess

from the earthquake a cleanup of another

sort has been going on
in the mayor's office.

We take you there now live.

- I'm happy to report that the success

of Operation Cleansweep can be evidenced

by the improvement of our city streets.

- But Mayor, is forcing
the homeless out of town

any better than sweeping
dirt under a carpet?

- Hey, don't knock it till you try it.

- Babette, shh!

I'm sorry, what station are you with?

- [Reporter] KWAK.

- KW, uh, quake?

- More like an Aftershock.

(dramatic music)

- What?

- Artie!

- [Mayor] Don't hurt me, don't hurt me!

- [Babette] (screams) Artie!

- Thousands of deprived people are forced

to live like rats in the sewer system.

These people are my people.

They saved my life and gave me a home.

Now I'm going to give them yours.

(laughs)

You have until midnight
tomorrow to turn over

your apartments, houses and mansions.

And if you don't, I'm going
to turn them over on you.

(dramatic music)

- Alright, men, listen up.

A bad situation has just gotten worse.

- What, worse than Aftershock threatening

to level our houses unless we
give them up to the homeless?

- Much worse.

She just kidnapped the
mayor and his secretary.

- Now why in God's name would she do that?

- So you can see how the other half lives.

How does it feel to be surrounded
by rats, vermin and filth?

- Believe me, I already know!

I've been in politics my whole life!

- Dinner is served.

- Once again, you have outdone
yourself, Butcher Bill.

(Mayor recoiling)

- Not exactly Angelino's, huh?

(all laughing)

- Come on now, come on.

- Argyle, what are you doing under there?

- Well, you wanted to find
Aftershock, didn't you?

Well, this reverberation detection system

should definitely do the trick.

- So how does it work?

- Well, I attached a high frequency

sensor to your suspension system.

Now, it's sensitive enough to catch

the low hum of the
vibranium and transform it

into a mechanical signal that your

shock absorbers will respond to.

In other words, it's like feeling

the smallest bump on the road.

- Okay, good.

Then what?

- Well, right this way
and I will show you.

After you, my Scorpion lady.

All you have to do is follow
the light to Aftershock.

- Argyle, you are a genius.

- Don't I know it?

And it's a good thing, too.

Otherwise, I'd be the one moonlighting

in a black rubber suit.

Not that I couldn't carry it off.

(dramatic music)

- Central sewage dump, gotcha!

(ominous music)

- Please let us go, I beg you!

- Why Mayor, don't you know
it's against your law to beg?

(all laughing)

- Alright, alright,
alright, I get the point!

I admit I may have made a mistake.

I mean, after all, I'm only human,

but that's nothing that
can't be corrected.

- Meaning?

- A new lab, unlimited funds for research.

Ooh, my table at Angelino's!

- You dirty little weasel.

You think you can bribe me?

I want justice and nothing else.

And I'll have it even
if it means k*lling you.

- You don't have to do that.

- Well, look who's here.

Tell me, Black Scorpion,
do you have a better idea?

- You can make a plea to the taxpayers.

- A plea?

Do you think that these
people should have to beg

for their homes, their
families, their lives?

- I agree.

- Do you?

Then join me.

Join us.

- What?

- Well, you seem to care about these

people as much as I do, let's be partners.

- As much as I support your cause,

I can't allow you to hurt
these innocent people.

- The people that I wanna hurt

are far from innocent; him, her, you.

- I don't wanna fight you, Aftershock.

- Good, then it'll be that
much easier to b*at you.

(punching)

(crowd yelling)

- Get 'em, Black Scorpion!

- Kick 'em where the sun don't shine!

- I guess this calls for
some special surgery!

- Surgery, do you have any painkillers?

- No.

(thudding and yelling)

- Get some.

- Destroy her!

(punching)

- I thought you were our friend.

- [Man] Hey, where's she going?

(dramatic music)

(tires screeching)

- She's gettin' away!

(both laughing)

- Not if I can help it!

(engine revving)

- Emit smokescreen.

(coughing)

- I don't see her.

Do you see her?

- Now she's chasing us!

Hey CB, why don't you be a gentlemen

and offer the lady a drink?

- One Molotov cocktail coming up, sir.

- Why don't you make
the next one a double?

- Happy New Year!

(fire crackling)

Hey, one more for the road?

- (laughs) Yeah, yeah!

- Engage stingray.

Fire.

(electricity zapping)

(screaming)

(tires screeching)

(crashing)

(exploding)

I guess it's true, drinking
and driving don't mix.

- Earthquake, everybody down!

- No, Captain, it's okay
it's just the chair.

- The chair?

- Yes, it's alright just relax.

- Well, that's easy for you to say.

Ever since that thing came
I've been a bundle of nerves.

- You know what, maybe you should

just go home and try to get some sleep?

- Yeah, that's a good idea, thanks Walker.

- Okay.

- Yeah, I need a rest from
all of this relaxation.

- Right, goodnight.

- Hey, Darce!

- Steve, what are you doing here so late?

- Well, I had some research
on some files that I...

That's a bunch of bull, I...

(sighs)

I couldn't sit home and wait with

Aftershock's deadline only an hour away.

How about you?

- Same.

- [Steve] I'm glad you're here.

- You are?

Why?

- I was a real bonehead
the other night and, uh,

concerned if you were upset with me.

- No Steve, you were right.

I should have gone by the book.

I guess sometimes I'm just a

little bit too much like my father.

- Ah, your old man, he
was a hell of a cop.

- Yes, but he also broke a lot of rules.

- [Steve] You know, if we had broke

some rules maybe we
wouldn't be in this mess.

- You know, I'm really
glad to hear you say that

because, um, I know where Aftershock is.

- [Steve] Really?

- Central sewage dump.

- We've gotta call Strickland.

- No, we can't!

Look, if we do that he's
gonna have every cop

in the department down
there armed with bazookas.

- So?

- So, Aftershock's
holding the Mayor c*ptive

and she's rallying the
homeless around her.

I don't want any of those people hurt.

- Well, then what are we gonna do?

- We're gonna take care of this ourselves.

- How?

Come on, she's gonna see
us coming a mile away.

- Not if we go undercover.

(crowd chattering)

- My God, people actually live here?

- Yeah, well, they have to live somewhere.

- The deadline is here and
our demands have not been met.

- Look, there's Aftershock.

- [Man] So what now?

- Let's get ready to crumble.

(crowd cheering)

(crashing)

It won't be long now.

- Why don't you try to spring the Mayor?

- What are you gonna do?

- (sighs) I'm gonna stop that machine.

- Okay, here we go.

- Here, take a sh*t!

- Yeah, go on!

- No, no, no thanks.

- Hey, haven't you ever
wanted to pop the Mayor?

- Now you mention it...

(crowd cheering)

(laughs)

- More vibranium Butcher
Bill, more vibranium!

Come on!

(ominous music)

- Argyle, are you there?

Argyle?

Argyle!

Argyle, come in!

- Here I come, boss, here I come!

- Argyle, where are you?

- I'm here, but where are you?

- I'm at the echo wave generator

and I need a way to stop it.

- Look, I wish I could,
but short-circuiting

the machine won't do any good.

It's powered by vibranium,
not electrical current.

- So there's nothing I can do?

- I didn't say that.

- Yes?

- We're gonna die with
bunch of smelly people!

- [Steve] Mayor Worth, Mayor Worth!

- What?

- Detective Rafferty.

- Detective!

- Shh, shh, quiet!

- Well, it's about time.

Get us out of here!

- Okay, okay as soon as Detective Walker

disarms the generator.

- Well, the hell with the
generator, get us out now!

- You tell him, Artie party!
- Yeah!

- Okay, Mayor Worth, as
soon as the time is right.

- I'm giving you an order, detective!

- Be quiet!
- Detective?

He's a cop!

- Hey, alright, alright,
alright, everybody hands up!

Freeze, right there!

You with the books, hands in
the air, hands in the air!

You with the mustache,
come on, get 'em up!

Get your hands in the air.

- If you insist.

(electricity zapping)

It never ceases to amaze me how a hard,

pointed object can give
men a false sense of power.

Get him.

- Get back, no, no!

(crowd yelling)

- Give it up, Aftershock.

- Oh, (laughs) you must be the partner.

- Make one move and I'll sh**t.

- Go ahead.

- Don't think I won't.

- Darce, what are you out of your mind?

What are you doing?

- I know this isn't
going by the book, but...

(g*n f*ring)

(b*ll*ts ricocheting)

- Now it's my turn.

(electricity zapping)

Seize her!

(crowd yelling)

- Should we go after her?

- Don't bother, she won't
survive above ground.

Neither will anyone else.

(tires screeching)

(crashing)

(sirens blaring)

- Is uh, is this machine
supposed to be shaking like this?

- It's not the machine.

- (laughs) What is it?

- Blast that car!

- What are you gonna do?

- I already told you, blast that car!

(electricity zapping)

- Magnetic field up.

- No!

- Lucky for me I have
a magnetic personality.

- That won't be enough
to stop the earthquake.

In a matter of minutes this whole

city will be history, including you.

- Including them.

- What are you talking about?

- I reversed the course of the echo rings.

At Ground they're going to target

a new epicenter and you're standing in it.

- You're buffing.

- Am I?

- I've said it once, I'll say it again,

that woman's a menace.

- Which one?

- Take your pick!

(rumbling)

- Get out!

Go, save yourselves, get out, go!

- Look out!

- [Butcher Bill] Go, hurry up, go!

- It looks like it's
just you and me again.

- You asked me to join you.

Why don't you join me?

Be the hero you've always wanted to be.

- (laughs) I'd rather be a martyr!

- What are you saying?

- An earthquake created me, it's only

fitting that one should destroy me.

- I'm not going to let you die.

- You can't stop me.

(punching)

(grunting)

(dramatic music)

- We're running out of time.

- Exciting, isn't it?

- Professor Undershaft!

Ursula!

(rumbling)

Wake up.

Wake up!

Get you outta here!

(Steve groaning)

Let's go!

(tires screeching)

(exploding)

(humming)

- Well?

- [Tender Lovin'] I like what I see.

- And so do I.

- Not so fast, you still
have to take out the trash.

- Oh, baby, can't that
wait till the morning?

- I don't know, can you?

- Whoo, I love it when you talk that way!

I knew you couldn't resist me.

(clattering)

No!

I just cleaned this!

- Call me when you're done.

- No baby, that, baby,
that was an accident!

Baby, come!

- The first and foremost
issue of my campaign

is to solve the problem of the homeless.

After all, I have lived among them.

I am sensitive to their plight.

I feel their pain.

- The only thing he's interested
in are the opinion polls.

- Well, at least he's promising

to take care of the homeless.

Speaking of taking care of...

- What do you want now?

- Pillow, please.

- Anything else?

- Uh... (laughs)

Yeah, I wanted to tell
you that sh**ting me

in the leg was definitely the right move.

- Even though it wasn't
standard procedure?

- Hey, you don't always
have to go by the book.

- I'm really glad to hear you say that.

- Really?

- So what other rules
are you ready to break?

- One rule at a time, Darce.

(dramatic music)
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