01x02 - Too Pure to Be Pink

[bunniefuu]

I had this idea.

I could run for student council.

Everyone, Jane and I are going steady.

[CRYING] Buddy and I used to go together.

They're saying you had

to flee the New York mafia

to seek treatment for your nymphomania.

What?

Who's going to vote for us if

they think we're sex deviants?

We'll just have to clear our reputations

before the pep rally.

Olivia!

Forgot I need a teaching

license before you put out.

Girls!

- Nancy, we're busy.

- With what?

- I want to be a T-Bird.

- [SCOFFING AND LAUGHTER]

You can't let a girl in the g*ng now.

Careful with them.

[ALL CHANTING]

Come on, red! Come on, white!

Go, Rydell! Fight, fight, fight!

[UPBEAT MUSICAL FLOURISH]

Did you tell Neil we went all the way?

Would you like to throw

your hat back into the ring?

Yes for president.

- [ALL GASP]

- What?

- Vote for Jane!

- [CHEERING]

[GASPING]

Hey, hey, hey, hey! That's my car!

We're going to need some jackets.

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONE RINGING]

[PHONES RINGING]

[SPARSE RHYTHMIC UPBEAT MUSIC]

[PHONE RINGING]

[SPARSE MUSICAL CRESCENDO]

[PHONE RINGING]

- Hello?

- Hello?

- Hello?

- Hello?

Dee, it's Mary.

Did you hear the news? ♪

[PHONE RINGING]

The girls at Rydell have gone cuckoo!

- It's true.

- It's true?

It's true.

I heard they got into

the peppermint schnapps.

Oh gee, oh my! ♪

- I heard it was reefer!

- Their eyes were bloodshot!

[MOUTH FULL] I could just die ♪

This deviancy is contagious ♪

Oh, cut them some slack,

they're going through changes ♪

When did they all get so shameless?

Outrageous ♪

ALL: Protect your kids ♪

Lock your doors,

'cause they're raising hell ♪

Did you hear about

the girl g*ng at Rydell? ♪

- [ASH SIZZLES]

- [SIGHING] Ah.

- [PHONE RINGS]

- Ooh.

Writhing and raving and causing a scene ♪

My poor Susan's still a teen ♪

Her virgin eyes are too pristine ♪

To behold the obscene ♪

[GASPS] Someone call McGee!

I blame the mothers.

They're clearly not around.

I blame the mothers ♪

I would have put my kitten heel down ♪

This deviancy is contagious ♪

Hide your sons before

they go out and chase it ♪

Unladylike! I can't take it.

BOTH: Outrageous! ♪

ALL: Protect your kids ♪

Lock your doors,

'cause they're raising hell ♪

Did you hear about

the girl g*ng at Rydell? ♪

Is this really how

you want to run your school? ♪

Girls running around,

breaking all the rules? ♪

Nudity and theft!

Is there no decency left? ♪

ALL: You have to do something ♪

Do something, do something, do something ♪

Are you listening? ♪

Yes.

Rest assured, the girls will

pay for their shenanigans ♪

Just as soon as parents answer ♪

Punishment begins ♪

What math problems are we supposed to do?

[DISCONNECTION CHIME DRONING]

One through six.

[UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

[DISCONNECTION CHIME DRONING

IN TIME WITH MUSIC]

[BELL RINGS]

Order up!

- [PHONE RINGING]

- Nancy, the phone.

Frosty Palace.

Hello. May I speak with Mrs. Not

[PHONE RINGING]

They're ruining the reputation ♪

Of the school and the town

with this rebel situation ♪

- Oh me, oh my ♪

- Giving in to temptation ♪

It's Lucifer in lipstick and braces ♪

They need to act like ladies ♪

No one's ever going to give them a baby ♪

Hormones flying like crazy ♪

Outrageous! ♪

ALL: They stole a car! What's next? ♪

Robbing banks! What's next? ♪

Sneaking out to have premarital sex ♪

Those communist sluts,

showing people their butts ♪

Corrupting all our kids

with v*olence and dr*gs ♪

Outrageous and dangerous ♪

Can't take it ♪

Outrageous ♪

Protect your kids! Lock the doors ♪

- [PHONE RINGING]

- I'll get it.

ALL: 'Cause they're raising hell ♪

Tatiana residence.

ALL: Did you hear about

the girl g*ng at Rydell? ♪

She did what?

[DRAMATIC BIG BAND MUSIC]

[ENGINE REVVING AND TIRES SQUEALING]

♪

What on Earth were you thinking?

We just don't understand.

[QUIRKY UPBEAT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

We thought you wanted to be

the first to go to college.

We thought you were friends

with Edith and Ellen.

Who are these girls?

Letting their pompis hang out

to the whole world to see!

We got caught up in the moment.

I barely know them.

They're my new best friends.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

Two weeks.

Just don't do it again.

[SPEAKING SPANISH]

He showed his pompis, too! Is he grounded?

Boys will be boys.

You are not a boy!

Everything you do reflects on us.

[SUBDUED DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] [LAUGHTER]

- Look, there they are.

- [WOLF WHISTLE]

"Vicious vixens perform vulgar acts

before violently vacating the premises."

- Who wrote this? Mother Goose?

- [LAUGHS]

"Even more shocking were

the ideas Ms. Facciano espoused

in her manifesto-like speech."

Oh, "To paraphrase Richard Nixon",

"speaking of his 1950 Senate

opponent Helen Gahagan Douglas,"

"she's pink right down to her underwear."

[SCOFFS]

They're calling us communists.

This will sink my entire campaign.

Are you kidding?

That's great press, and it's

going to work perfectly.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

With our new jackets.

[ENERGETIC MUSIC]

So? What do you think?

It's violent.

Thanks!

We're the Black Widows.

Nobody messes with us because if they do,

we eat them for breakfast.

Ha!

[CHUCKLES]

I like it.

It's it's very impressive.

Probably not the best way to convince people

that we aren't vicious vixens.

- Sure thing, boss.

- Black Widows, dead on arrival.

New name impending.

Hey, thespians!

Jealous we put on the most interesting show

Rydell's ever seen?

[GASPS] Hey, come on!

Hey, please don't. Please, guys! Come on.

- Don't be sorry.

- What are you talking about?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[GIGGLES]

[LAUGHTER AND CHATTER]

All right.

Which one of yo use is gonna pay

for a new paint job for my car?

I could buy the hunk of junk for cheaper.

Think of it this way, Gil:

at least you finally got some girls in it!

- [LAUGHTER]

- I'm serious.

There is a distinct scratch.

Fine.

I'll pay for it.

- No, it's okay. I got it.

- [CHUCKLES WEAKLY]

See the paper, boys?

When's the last time any of you chowderheads

made the front page?

Congratulations.

Whoa, watch out, fellas.

It's a girl g*ng.

They might b*at us up

with their pocketbooks!

- [LAUGHTER]

- [SNARLS]

Help, help!

They're suffocating me with perfume!

- [LAUGHTER]

- Get outta here.

What you said up there, it took guts.

Thanks.

It wasn't a bad show either.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh, what do we have here?

- What you reading, my boy?

- Come on, guys!

[LAUGHTER]

It's the hall monitor!

- Ow!

- Run!

[LAUGHTER]

So do you like it?

- What?

- The signs.

Me and the girls are hanging a bunch more

around school this morning.

Yeah, yeah. Swell.

Back-to-school party at my house tonight.

Make sure you wear your socks.

No shoes are allowed in the house.

Oh, and let me know

if you're allergic to rabbits.

[SHOES SQUEAK] Whoa!

Whoa. Careful, little lady.

Wouldn't want you

to damage that pretty face.

[GASPS SOFTLY]

Ew! Get off her, wretch!

Hey.

What do you say we go together?

Pick me up at 8:00?

I think that'd give people

the wrong idea about us.

They, uh, might think we're back together.

Thank you for the posters, though.

- [BELL RINGS]

- Come on, girls.

- Let's go face the music.

- Think it'll be really bad?

[SIGHS]

[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

Ladies.

Don't touch those!

I have a system.

Now for your punishment.

- Let me handle this.

- [CHUCKLES]

We can offer you one week detention

plus cafeteria clean up,

not including garbage removal.

Take it or leave it.

Fine, throw in garbage removal.

But we're going to need gloves.

Miss Zdunowski, children are traumatized.

Parents are calling for your heads.

You've created a public crisis!

Are we getting expelled?

Certainly not.

At this school,

we believe in rehabilitation.

Let's hope that detention

every day this semester

will be enough to get you

to start acting like ladies.

Every day?

Oh, no!

Guess I won't be able to work

my shift at the Frosty Palace.

Needless to say,

this will all be memorialized

on your permanent records,

some of which are quite full already.

- But colleges look at those.

- For good reason.

Can I still run for president?

Best of luck, Jane.

We'll let the voters decide

between our star quarterback

and the girl who flashed her derriere

and stole a car.

See you all at 2:15 sharp.

Hey, you're front page news.

All press is good press, right?

I don't think Stanford will see it that way.

Don't worry. Detention's not so scary.

Just make sure you bring a switchblade.

[BELL RINGS]

Joking.

Jeez.

All I've ever wanted was to go to college.

Sorry, Jane.

[DOWNBEAT MUSIC]

[ENERGETIC JAZZY PIANO MUSIC]

Oh, there I'm going again ♪

Pushing past the unforgivable edge ♪

Always one step out of bounds ♪

Can't get the taste out of my mouth ♪

Dealing with the aftertaste

Going too far is a permanent phase ♪

Wish I could try to suppress ♪

Convince myself that

I want less than I deserve ♪

But I get hurt when I admit ♪

I want more ♪

More than I probably should ♪

More than I probably ever,

ever could have ♪

I want more ♪

But trouble comes after a push ♪

I push myself past every point ♪

I know I shouldn't have ♪

I want more ♪

Good girls should never desire ♪

When they do, they end up

tripping the wires ♪

I never have a defense ♪

'Cause I always want more than less ♪

Than I deserve ♪

So I get heard ♪

When I admit ♪

I want more ♪

More than I probably should ♪

More than I probably ever

ever could have ♪

I want more ♪

Dreams keep on rushing ♪

'Cause more leads to nothing ♪

More gets punishment ♪

I want everything, everything ♪

Everything, everything ♪

But I know that leads to disappointment ♪

Should I act like I don't want ♪

More? ♪

More ♪

More than I probably should ♪

More than I probably ever ♪

Ever could have ♪

I want more ♪

But trouble comes after I push ♪

I push myself past every point ♪

I know I shouldn't have ♪

I want more ♪

Jane.

Hey.

Glad I caught you.

You ever going to talk to me again?

You planning on avoiding me till graduation?

I said everything

I need to say to you, Buddy.

Jeez.

Jane, you're acting like

I k*lled your dog or something.

Nope. Just my reputation.

I meant what I said that night.

I love you.

And I'm sorry.

So what are you going to do about it?

Besides being sorry?

- I I don't know.

- What else do you want me to do?

I want you to tell everyone you lied.

The guys, the girls, my parents, Stanford.

I want you to be the one to be worried

that you won't get into college now.

I want you to tell everyone

that you're not the good guy here.

If you won't do it

maybe I will.

[SIGHS]

- [BOMBASTIC PATRIOTIC MUSIC]

- Future voters

I'm here to tell you the truth

about what transpired between myself

and my opponent, Buddy Aldrich.

We did not go all the way. [SCOFFS]

He lied.

To his friends, to me, and to you.

Now, does that sound like a good guy?

Ugh. So shrill.

It felt like I was being scolded.

She sounds jealous.

Uh, Jane, can you repeat what you said?

I was thinking about the

last time I saw your bottom.

[ALL SNICKER]

I liked it.

But I don't vote.

[GROANS]

Okay, so that's not going to work.

What else you got?

I've got something

New jacket ideas.

Okay, first up, the Red Cherries.

We may look sweet,

but if you tick us off, we get real sour.

Hmm.

- You hate it.

- [SOFTLY] Mm.

Or the Yellow Jackets

because we wear yellow

I hate it.

Okay, mm-mm.

- The Pink Fla

- No pink.

Draw the line at pink.

[SIGHS] Nancy, can we put

a pin in the jackets for now?

We need a plan to expose Buddy.

Buddy's a boy. Boys are disgusting.

I'm sure he's got something

gross stashed somewhere.

Every boy in the school's

got a nudie mag in his locker.

And there may be other

skeletons in his closet.

I know the student records

in Miss McGee's office.

I'll see if there's anything

on there to make him look bad.

And I'll go undercover into

the belly of the boy beast.

Locker room.

That's where they brag

about all their gross stuff.

If all else fails,

I'll slip some castor oil

in his milk at lunch

and make him caca in his khakis!

[LAUGHS] You can't come back from that!

I don't care who you are.

[LAUGHS]

Is this thing on?

Nancy, feet off the desk.

Olivia, lose the gum.

And you two, stop slouching.

Swizzle wizzle!

- Come on, bro.

- [METALLIC CLANKING]

- [LAUGHTER]

- [SIGHS]

How are we going to get past McGee?

Allow me.

Miss McGee?

I don't feel so good! [GROANS]

Where does it hurt, dear?

- [GROANING] Everywhere!

- I ate some old bologna.

I'm gonna caca in my khakis!

[LAUGHTER]

Come along.

I'm taking you to the nurse's office.

Remain seated until

that detention bell rings.

- [GROANING]

- Understood?

- All right. Okay.

- [GROANS]

[ENERGETIC ROCK MUSIC]

[GROANING]

Dear, Nurse Penelope's left for the day.

I don't know what to do.

[SOFTLY] Good.

Ugh.

[MUSIC STOPS]

[DOOR OPENS]

- Hey.

- [GASPS]

You want a key?

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

That'd be nice.

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

[HINGES CREAK]

Ew.

Gross.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Just admit it, Buddy.

Admit what you did to everybody here.

Okay.

♪

I cut the cheese. [LAUGHTER]

What a stand-up guy.

I haven't copped to a ripper

since third grade.

You haven't copped a feel

since you were breastfeeding.

[LAUGHTER]

Speaking of copping a feel,

you candy asses going

to Dot's party tonight,

or am I going to have to

neck the whole cheer leading team myself?

[LAUGHTER]

Just keep your distance from Rosemary.

She said I might get to second base tonight.

[LAUGHTER AND EXCLAMATIONS]

Are you going to the party tonight, Buddy?

Yeah, I guess so. Susan asked me.

- You mean Fort Knox?

- You should bring Jane instead.

I hear Dot's house has seven bedrooms.

[ALL HOWL]

I got to take a shower.

Hey, I got a question.

Are lemons and limes the same fruit?

Like, is a lemon sort of a ripe lime?

[LAUGHING] What? No.

They're two separate fruits.

Right?

Wait.

So is a cantaloupe just a ripe honeydew?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

- Where are we going?

- Trust me.

Just so you know, I don't

normally do things like this.

[CHUCKLES] Sure you don't.

I'm serious.

If you say so.

The only reason I'm doing this

is because I want people

to know the truth about Buddy.

- Mm.

- This is a one-time thing.

Yeah, sure.

One-time thing,

like flashing your ass

at an assembly, for example.

Wait. What are we doing in here?

Are you trying to get us in trouble?

You said you wanted a key.

Yes, but this is not it's not

Come on.

Hold on, Cynthia.

Let me get something from my office.

[UPBEAT NOTES]

Bingo.

[WHISTLING]

[TENSE MUSIC]

Shine those shoes ♪

Before you say that you love me ♪

[CHUCKLES]

[SCATTING CHEERFULLY]

[MOANING SOFTLY]

Ah! [EXHALES DEEPLY]

The ballpark has come alive.

Tensions are high between

the Dodgers and the Giants.

Dodgers are first up to bat,

putting Robinson in to

Did you tell the principal

I tried to seduce you?

[SIGHS SOFTLY]

I had to.

My job was at stake.

I was locked in my room all summer.

I can't take Honors English

because you're the only one who teaches it.

I thought you almost lost your job,

but really, you just hung me out to dry

to save your own skin.

I didn't lie.

Excuse me?

Sometimes students

can misconstrue a teacher's

interests as something more.

What?

You asked me to stay after class.

You gave me books, poetry.

All things a teacher does to

encourage a promising student.

You can't just pretend this didn't happen.

I'm sure that you'll find

someone your own age

who finds you special in that way.

But I think you should leave now.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[CLEARS THROAT]

The Giants have G mez pitching.

First pitch, foul ball

off the end of the bat.

[CHUCKLES]

Second pitch, ball outside and it hits.

- Come on, come on. Come on!

- What a beautiful drive!

[PHONE RINGING] There goes Taylor.

Goes way back towards the wall!

[RADIO SWITCHES OFF]

Hello?

Superintendent Fletcher. [CHUCKLES]

- [INAUDIBLE]

- Of course. I'm sorry.

My assistant principal appears to have

misplaced those budgets,

which I finished ages ago.

Can I call you back?

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Great. [RECEIVER CLICKS]

Miss McGee!

[DOOR SHUTS]

- [KEYS JANGLING]

- Got what we came for.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] Let's go.

[GROANING]

Is it a sh**ting or stabbing pain?

What's the difference?

- One's bad.

- [GROANING]

And the other is also bad.

Oh, for heaven's sakes!

[BELL RINGS]

I'm suddenly feeling much better.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

It's all your ace nursing, Miss McGee.

Hey, see you tomorrow in detention.

And the next day [EXHALES DEEPLY]

And the next day and the next day.

[SOFT UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC]

[SHUDDERS]

It's not working.

Well, these might be the classroom keys.

So I did all of that for nothing.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

[CHUCKLES] Wow.

Where'd you learn that?

Jail.

I'm teasing. [CHUCKLES]

[GASPS SOFTLY]

- Saw it in a movie.

- [CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

No Marilyn, no Jane Russell,

but he's got a picture of this guy?

His volunteer schedule

for the soup kitchen

birthday card from grandma.

Oh, library book.

It's not even overdue.

It's addressed to you.

You're welcome.

Yeah. Thanks.

[MISCHIEVOUS JAZZ MUSIC]

It's overdue now.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

"Jane, I've always thought

of myself as a good guy,

"but after what you said,

I realized I'm not.

"I've done loads of terrible things.

"I've cheated on tests,

smoked, drank liquor,

and never told anyone this,

but I'm a perverted sex fiend."

[LAUGHTER, GASPS, AND GROANS]

"I'm addicted to self-abuse,

sometimes four times a day."

You think all that forearm

work helps him with football?

Mm!

"I'm sorry I lied about

us going all the way.

"I know that you haven't.

The worst part is that I have,

last year with Susie."

[GASPING AND RETCHING]

"But I regret that

because I wasn't in love with her like I"

Then he crossed out "was" and wrote,

"Am in love with you.

Please forgive me. Love, Buddy."

This is perfect.

We just got to show everyone this letter.

This isn't just some nudie mag.

That'd be wrong.

More wrong than what he did to you?

Come on. He's asking for it.

What if we blackmailed him instead?

- [GASPS]

- [CHUCKLES]

Either he drops out of the race,

or we expose him for the

lying dirt bag he really is.

The socs are having their party tonight.

I don't know.

He had the perfect chance

to set the record straight

in the locker room,

but he just left and went into the shower.

Yeah, probably to flog his log.

Oh! No.

- Hey!

- Ew, nasty!

Oh, I'll get the T-Birds to drive us.

Can I tempt anyone

with a salmon mousse canap?

- [SNIFFS] Ugh.

- Don't you have any real food?

[DOO-WOP MUSIC PLAYING]

Buddy, oh my gosh. It's our song.

I know. I saw you put the record on.

- When you ♪

- [DOOR OPENS LOUDLY]

Are near me ♪

- Who's at the door?

- What's going on?

[ROLLICKING ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC]

What? Am I overdressed?

What are they doing here?

Dot, did you invite them?

We weren't invited.

We're crashing.

Dot doesn't want a bunch of g*ng members

messing up her house.

Hey, we're housebroken.

They can stay.

Brought her whole family too ♪

- Took off their hats

- Fine.

Coats, and shoes, ate up all the food ♪

Then they took a snooze ♪

And they're breakin' up

the house every night ♪

Uh-uh. Not so fast.

Shoes off, both of them.

Okay, house rules, so listen up.

[UPBEAT JAZZY FLOURISH]

Upstairs is off-limits,

but there's my bedroom.

And that's my second bedroom,

where we keep the rabbits.

Oh, one of them went missing,

so watch where you step.

[CHUCKLING] Jeez. This place is fat city.

It's real smart.

My parents are super rich.

You know Colonel Candy?

That's my dad, the Colonel.

He says I'm the candy princess.

Oh, honey ♪

That's my dad's study.

Do not go in there.

I have never been in there, ever.

Okay.

Let's get this gig going.

Absolutely not.

No drinking, no smoking,

and no peeing in the outdoor

fountain it kills the fish.

Oh, honey, please don't stop ♪

That concludes our house tour.

Please enjoy yourselves.

Please don't stop lovin' me ♪

This party is a drag.

What do you want to get up to?

We could snoop in the medicine cabinet.

Nancy, we're here on a mission.

Maybe I should talk to him tomorrow instead.

- Don't chicken out now.

- Come on. Go get him alone.

Go.

I'm going to go look for the fuse box

just in case we need to cut the

power and create some chaos.

No, Nanc [GROANS]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CHUCKLES]

Can I talk to you outside?

Gather round, party people!

It's spin the bottle o' clock.

[CHEERS AND LAUGHTER]

Come on.

We'll talk later, okay?

Don't worry. I got a plan.

We'll do that.

[YELPS]

[ENERGETIC BIG BAND MUSIC]

Listen up, you fiends.

I want a good, clean game.

Keep your hands to yourself,

your lips pursed,

and if you land on someone ugly,

just close your eyes and think of England.

[LAUGHTER]

I got you.

We'll make this game quick

so you can talk to Scummy.

Let the depravity commence!

[GEORGIA GIBBS' "KISS OF FIRE"]

[CHEERS AND LAUGHTER]

I touch your lips and all at once ♪

The sparks go flying ♪

[LAUGHS]

Those devil lips that know

so well the art of lying ♪

And though I see the danger,

still the flame grows higher ♪

[LAUGHTER]

I know I must surrender

to your kiss of fire ♪

ALL: Aww.

Just like the torches set

the soul within me burning ♪

I must go on along

this road of no returning ♪

Buddy.

And though it burns me

and turns me into ashes ♪

Oh, come on, come on!

My whole world crashes

without your kiss of fire ♪

I can't resist you ♪

What good is there in trying? ♪

What good is there denying

you're all that I desire? ♪

[LAUGHS]

Since first I kissed you,

my heart was ♪

Pass.

Pass? You can't pass.

Strike one!

[LAUGHTER]

Don't pity me ♪

Don't pity me ♪

- [LAUGHTER]

- This bottle is broken.

Ain't that a bite? Okay, Jane. Batter up.

Your kiss of ♪

Fire ♪

- Oh.

- No way.

It's pointing towards Richie. See?

It's a dead heat.

Chef's choice. [LAUGHTER AND JEERS]

- Buddy.

- [LAUGHTER AND JEERS]

And I want to do seven minutes in heaven.

- [LAUGHTER]

- What?

Attaboy.

A lot you two politicians

can get accomplished

in seven minutes.

We can't just go changing the rules.

- Sure we can.

- New rule.

Seven minutes in heaven is on the table.

[LAUGHTER AND CHEERS]

All she wants to do is rock ♪

Rock and roll all night long ♪

[WOLF WHISTLE]

High-class denim and picture shows ♪

All she wants to do is stay at home ♪

Ah.

I want you to drop out of the race.

What?

If you don't, I'll show everyone this.

What? How did you

It doesn't matter.

Rock and roll all night long ♪

[SIGHS]

I can't drop out.

My dad, he's got sort of a reputation.

He's building that big new

development, Lake ridge.

What does that have to do with any of this?

Nobody's supposed to know this,

but he's running for mayor next year.

He wants us to be a family of leaders.

All she wants to do is rock ♪

Rock, rock

I can't let him down.

Rock and roll all night long ♪

All right. Gilliam, she's all yours.

[WHOOPING]

[LAUGHTER]

Ha! Nice skid marks.

What the hell, Cynthia?

Don't flip your lid. It was just a goof.

I'm sure Olivia's seen worse undies, right?

Why can't you act like a normal girl?

Rock my baby ♪

All she wants to do is rock ♪

Rock my baby ♪

All she wants to do is rock ♪

She wants to rock with the clock ♪

- But she don't know when to stop ♪

- This party's a nap.

[CLAPS] Let's split.

- You coming?

- I'm going to wait for Jane.

[SNAPS FINGERS]

All she wants to do is rock ♪

All she wants to do is rock ♪

Oh!

Thank God it's over.

[GRUNTS]

Listen, let's just keep

running our campaigns,

and may the best man win.

That's that's fair, right?

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

No. No, it's it's not fair.

It's already an uphill battle

because I'm a girl.

And now everyone thinks I'm a deviant too.

I'm sorry,

but your future

isn't more important than mine.

You're not going to show people that letter.

[SCOFFS]

You're not that kind of person.

I don't think you know me at all.

Jane, wait.

[SLOW JAZZY MUSIC]

- Jane

- I have something to say.

Oh, save it.

We already know what you two did.

I heard moans coming from the closet.

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

The lovebirds return.

Give us the dirty details, Wally.

Get her panties off this time? [LAUGHTER]

Who's got my time?

Nine minutes and 16 seconds.

[CHEERING]

[LAUGHTER AND CHEERING]

That this is infatuation ♪

Thrills that are gone

Become memories ♪

Remember ♪

I thrill you ♪

You can't deny ♪

I need some air.

[LAUGHTER]

[GRUNTS]

- [LAUGHTER]

- Hey, hey.

[SNIFFLES]

Did you do it?

Did you expose that lying bastard?

- I couldn't.

- Why not?

He just has to go down.

Well, that's just it.

It wouldn't be him who goes down.

It'd be Susan.

He cheats on a test, he's cool.

He smokes reefer, he's cool.

He goes all the way with Susan,

he's cool.

And she's a slut.

Just like people said about us.

I don't understand girls.

What?

If Buddy did to me what he did to you,

he'd be home crying to his mommy right now

with a fat lip.

I should probably get home

before my mom finds out I snuck out.

But it's barely 11:00.

Yeah, let's make like a tree and leave.

I don't want to see Gil's rat face either.

[GROANS LOUDLY]

You know, I was excited about

coming to this party tonight

because I thought we would all have fun,

but instead, all any of

you have done all night

is obsess over stupid boys.

Don't look at me.

Here's looking right at ya, kid!

You spent the whole night

obsessed with impressing

the T-Birds boys.

Yeah, because none of you

laugh at any of my jokes,

and I'm hilarious.

But I guess I'm too girl

to be one of the boys

and too boy to be one of the girls.

I give up. I'm out of here.

Cynthia, wait.

Nancy, do you think maybe

you're just a little upset

because of spin the bottle?

Why would spin the bottle upset me?

Because you've never kissed a boy before.

Are you kidding?

I've kissed every boy at this party.

- Huh?

- What?

- What?

- [SCOFFS]

[CHUCKLING] Back in junior high,

we had these parties all the time.

Edith and Ellen and I went to dozens.

All those Soc guys were there.

Kissing is fine.

It's a lark.

But the best part was creating

a brutal rating system

with your friends afterwards.

So you kissed Buddy?

Like 15 times.

Solid B minus.

Just being honest.

[SIGHS] Now everyone

takes boys so seriously.

Just imagine

how fun this party would be

if we could go backwards,

do it all without boys.

[SOFT DRAMATIC MUSIC]

Imagine ♪

- Imagine ♪

- Imagine, imagine ♪

[LAUGHTER]

[POP]

- Imagine ♪

- Imagine, imagine ♪

A world without boys ♪

No more obsessing in the mirror ♪

No more covering up ourselves ♪

ALL: Oh!

Where we're more than just exterior ♪

Our intuition is our world ♪

No more picking at our plates ♪

Have your cake and eat it too ♪

We're the entr e, not the crudit ♪

Boys only keep you from your you ♪

- Imagine ♪

- Imagine, imagine ♪

Not having to lower your voice ♪

- Imagine ♪

- Imagine, imagine ♪

Forgetting your posture and poise ♪

- Imagine ♪

- Imagine, imagine ♪

Being more than just trophies and toys ♪

- Imagine ♪

- Imagine, imagine ♪

A world without boys ♪

No boys around to sneak a feel ♪

No competition for their eyes ♪

We could focus on what's real ♪

Share our ambition undisguised ♪

No more kamikaze hands ♪

No more uninvited dances ♪

No more pressures to romance ♪

No excuses for the manses ♪

No more faking stupid laughs ♪

No more holding sweaty hands ♪

Boys only keep you from your you ♪

- Imagine ♪

- Imagine, imagine ♪

Not having to lower your voice ♪

- Imagine ♪

- Imagine, imagine ♪

Forgetting your posture and poise ♪

Imagine, imagine, imagine ♪

A world where all girls are your friends ♪

Imagine, imagine, imagine ♪

- No fighting over attention ♪

- [ALL SCREAMING]

Imagine, imagine, imagine ♪

Forgetting your posture and poise ♪

Imagine, imagine, imagine ♪

A world without boys ♪

Wish it could happen ♪

For now, imagine, just imagine ♪

A world without boys ♪

A world without boys ♪

Mmm ♪

Just imagine, imagine ♪

Yeah, sounds nice.

Hey. Come look at this.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

- Be real quick about it.

- [CHUCKLING] Oh, yeah.

Come on, keep going, keep going.

This is really low,

even for those bottom feeders.

[SARCASTICALLY] Boys will be boys.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Maybe we can't prove that

Buddy's not a good guy,

but we can do something

about these jerks right now.

What do you have in mind?

You had a pretty good idea earlier.

[ROWDY JAZZ MUSIC]

You always bragging 'bout

the things you're gonna do ♪

Uh, didn't Dot say we're not

allowed in her dad's study?

- What's the matter?

- Scared of breaking the rules?

Me?

Fat chance.

Let's see you get a hit ♪

It's your turn at bat ♪

Well ♪

If any of you want to leave, do it now.

Things are about to get wild.

Guess the rumors about her are true.

What's with all the secrecy?

You know you're just talking ♪

I don't believe a word you say ♪

I heard you telling the people upstairs ♪

[CHUCKLING] Okay.

You were going out hunting bears ♪

Without a Kn*fe, without a g*n ♪

Who wants to put some hair on their chest?

You all drink liquor?

And then some.

I have to warn you, though.

It isn't for the faint of heart.

We like it,

but not many people

can handle this kind of heat.

And, uh, what do we get if we do it?

Well, you'll just have to wait and see.

- [CHUCKLES]

- Do it, do it

You know you're just talking ♪

I don't believe a word you say ♪

[ALL COUGHING AND CHOKING]

Ooh. [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] It burns.

Tastes like an ashtray.

You can handle it, right?

Yeah. [CHUCKLES] Yeah.

Whoo!

- Whoo!

- [LAUGHTER]

- Another round, boys.

- [LAUGHTER]

- They fell for it?

- Hook, line, and sinker.

Oh!

And I filled it all the way to the top.

[COUGHING DOWNSTAIRS]

[GIGGLING]

What?

I was a Girl Scout.

You're something special. You know that?

[LAUGHTER]

[DOOR LATCH THUMPING]

Open the door.

- Hey. Let us out of here.

- What's the big idea?

The idea is that you spiked

the punch with alcohol.

So we spiked your alcohol with castor oil.

What?

Don't worry.

It is a safe and effective dose.

It's no big deal!

Just something to loosen you up.

Let us out of here! This isn't funny!

You're right.

It's not funny to put

something in somebody's drink

that makes them feel

out of control of their body.

Thank God you snooped

in those medicine cabinets.

Dot's mom has a lot of pills.

Let us out, you pinko tramps!

Do you know who my dad is?

[LAUGHTER]

Excellent work, pinko tramps!

The Pinko Tramps. Now that is a jacket.

Why not?

Everyone already thinks

we're such bad girls.

- [FANCY ACCENT]

- We're not girls, we're ladies.

[LAUGHS]

The Pink Ladies.

Fine.

I'll consider it on a trial basis.

[LAUGHTER]

So Jane, you think a

Pink Lady can become president?

I've spent so much time just trying to prove

that I'm the good guy

and Buddy is the bad guy,

but I'm realizing that maybe sometimes,

you got to be bad to do good.

That is not a bad campaign slogan

for the leader of a girl g*ng.

[GASPS AND LAUGHS]

Anyone know for stopping by the school?

[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]

Let's go.

School bells, school bells, ring for me ♪

[ROLLICKING ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC]

I've decided that I have too much to do

without having to keep an eye on you girls

every day after school,

so no more detention.

You are all still being punished.

Since you showed such a flair

for the theatrics yesterday,

you're going to join the thespians

so you can learn how to act like a lady.

No way.

Those kids have their heads

so far up their own asses,

I'm surprised they can walk straight.

Olivia, you seem to enjoy filing,

so I'm making you my office assistant.

You can start with those.

Jane, I got reports of you

roaming the halls yesterday,

so I figured I'd better

give you this to do it in.

A hall monitor?

But everybody in school hates them.

Good luck courting votes

while you're writing tardy slips.

And you.

Well, I ran out of jobs,

so you will help me out with whatever I need

whenever I need it.

Can we start with a wardrobe makeover?

[STIFLED SNICKERING]

You're dismissed.

What you got in there? A dead body?

No.

Even better.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Hey, you don't have to do that.

I'm sorry. They ruined your poster.

I'm the one who should be sorry.

I I heard about what

happened with the punch.

You must think I'm a total floozy.

Those guys are jerks.

Not all guys suck.

You're one of the good ones.

Susan

I'm not looking for a girlfriend right now,

but

I do need a campaign manager.

[DOOR OPENS LOUDLY]

[EXCITED INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[POWERFUL UPBEAT MUSIC]

Hey!

Hey, dig that!

[SLAPS ECHOING, SLOW MOTION SHOUTING]

[SLOW MOTION] Yeah, and you know what?

[DOT SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]