Full Metal Jacket (1987)

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Full Metal Jacket (1987)

Post by bunniefuu »

I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor.

From now on, you will speak only when spoken to...

...and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "sir."

Do you maggots understand that?

Sir, yes, sir.

Bullshit. I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.

Sir, yes, sir.

If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training...

...you will be a w*apon.

You will be a minister of death praying for w*r.

But until that day, you are pukes.

You are the lowest form of life on Earth.

You are not even human f*cking beings.

You are nothing but unorganized, grabasstic pieces of amphibian sh*t.

Because I am hard, you will not like me.

But the more you hate me, the more you will learn.

I am hard but I am fair.

There is no racial bigotry here.

I do not look down on n*gg*r*s, kikes, wops or greasers.

Here, you are all equally worthless.

And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers...

...who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps.

Do you maggots understand that?

Sir, yes, sir.

Bullshit. I can't hear you.

Sir, yes, sir!

- What's your name, scumbag? - Sir, Private Brown, sir!

Bullshit. From now on you're Private Snowball.

- Do you like that name? - Sir, yes, sir!

Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Snowball:

They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon...

...on a daily basis in my mess hall.

SNOWBALL: Sir, yes, sir!

Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

HARTMAN: Who said that?

Who the f*ck said that?

Who's the slimy little communist-sh*t, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here...

...who just signed his own death warrant?

Nobody, huh?

The fairy f*cking godmother said it. Out-f*cking-standing.

I will P.T. you all until you f*cking die.

I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk.

- Was it you, you scroungy little f*ck? - Sir, no, sir.

You piece of sh*t. You look like a f*cking worm. I'll bet it was you.

- Sir, no, sir. - Sir, I said it, sir.

Well, no sh*t.

What have we got here? A f*cking comedian. Private Joker.

I admire your honesty.

Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and f*ck my sister.

You little scumbag. I've got your name. I've got your ass.

You will not laugh. You will not cry.

You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you.

Now get up. Get on your feet.

You best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and sh*t down your neck.

- Sir, yes, sir. - Private Joker, why did you join my Corps?

- Sir, to k*ll, sir. - So you're a k*ller?

- Sir, yes, sir. - Let me see your w*r face.

- Sir? - You've got a w*r face?

Ah! That's a w*r face. Now let me see your w*r face.

[SCREAMING]

Bullshit. You didn't convince me. Let me see your real w*r face.

You don't scare me. Work on it.

Sir, yes, sir!

What's your excuse?

Sir, excuse for what, sir?

I'm asking the f*cking questions, private. Do you understand?

- Sir, yes, sir. - Well, thank you very much.

- Can I be in charge for a while? - Sir, yes, sir.

- Are you shook-up? Are you nervous? - Sir, I am, sir.

- Do I make you nervous? - Sir...

Sir what? Were you about to call me an assh*le?

- Sir, no, sir. - How tall are you, private?

Sir, 5'9", sir.

Five-foot-9. I didn't know they stacked sh*t that high.

You trying to squeeze an inch in on me somewhere?

- Sir, no, sir. - Bullshit. It looks like the best part of you...

...ran down the cr*ck of your mama's ass and ended up as a stain on the mattress.

I think you've been cheated.

Where the hell are you from, private?

- Sir, Texas, sir. - Holy dogshit. Texas?

Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy.

And you don't much look like a steer to me, so that kind of narrows it down.

- Do you suck dicks? - Sir, no, sir.

- Are you a peter puffer? - Sir, no, sir.

I'll bet you would f*ck a person in the ass...

...and not even have the g*dd*mn common courtesy to give him a reach around.

I'll be watching you.

Did your parents have any children that lived?

- Sir, yes, sir. - I'll bet they regret that.

You're so ugly you could be a modern-art masterpiece.

- What's your name, fat-body? - Sir, Leonard Lawrence, sir.

Lawrence? Lawrence what, of Arabia?

- Sir, no, sir. - That name sounds like royalty. You royalty?

- Sir, no, sir. - Do you suck dicks?

- Sir, no, sir. - Bullshit. I'll bet you could suck a golf ball...

- ...through a garden hose. - Sir, no, sir.

I don't like the name Lawrence.

Only faggots and sailors are called Lawrence.

- From now on you're Gomer Pyle. - Sir, yes, sir.

Do you think I'm cute, Private Pyle? You think I'm funny?

- Sir, no, sir. - Wipe that disgusting grin off your face.

Sir, yes, sir.

Well, any-f*cking-time, sweetheart.

- Sir, I'm trying, sir. - Private Pyle, I'll give you three seconds...

...exactly three f*cking seconds...

...to wipe that stupid-looking grin off your face...

...or I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull-f*ck you.

One. Two. Three.

- Sir, I can't help it, sir. - Bullshit. Get on your knees, scumbag.

Now Choke yourself.

g*dd*mn it, with my hand, numb-nuts.

Don't pull my f*cking hand over there. I said, choke yourself.

Now lean forward and choke yourself.

- Are you through grinning? - Sir, yes, sir.

Bullshit. I can't hear you.

Sir, yes, sir.

Bullshit. I still can't hear you. Sound off like you've got a pair.

Sir, yes, sir.

That's enough. Get on your feet.

Pyle, you had best square your ass away and start sh1tting me Tiffany cuff links...

...or I will definitely f*ck you up.

Sir, yes, sir.

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left.

Left, right, left, right, left.

Left, right, left, right, left...

Parris Island, South Carolina...

...the United States Marine Corps Recruit Depot.

An eight-week college for the phony-tough and the crazy-brave.

HARTMAN: Mama and Papa were laying in bed

RECRUITS: Mama and Papa were laying in bed

HARTMAN: Mama rolled over And this is what she said

RECRUITS: Mama rolled over, this is what she said

HARTMAN: Oh, give me some, give me some - Oh, give me some, give me some

- P. T.

- P. T.

- Good for you - Good for you

- And good for me - And good for me

- Mmm, good - Mmm, good

Up in the morning to the rising sun

Up in the morning to the rising sun

Gonna run all day till the running's done

Gonna run all day till the running's done

Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch

Ho Chi Minh is a son of a bitch

Got the blue balls, crabs And the seven-year itch

Got the blue balls, crabs And the seven-year itch

HARTMAN: Left, right, left, right, left.

Your left shoulder.

Left, right, left. Port.

Left, right. att*ck. Halt.

Left shoulder.

Private Pyle, what are you trying to do to my beloved Corps?

- Sir, I don't know, sir. - You are dumb, Private Pyle...

...but do you expect me to believe that you don't know left from right?

- Sir, no, sir. - Then you did that on purpose.

- You wanna be different. - Sir, no, sir.

- What side was that, Private Pyle? - Sir, left side, sir.

- Are you sure, Private Pyle? - Sir, yes, sir.

- What side was that, Private Pyle? - Sir, right side, sir.

Don't f*ck with me again, Pyle.

Pick up your f*cking cover.

Sir, yes, sir.

HARTMAN: Your left shoulder.

Left, right, left. Port.

Left shoulder.

Your right shoulder.

Left, right, left, right. Your left shoulder.

Left, two, three, four.

Your right shoulder.

Tonight you pukes will sleep with your r*fles.

You will give your r*fle a girl's name.

Because this is the only p*ssy you people are going to get.

Your days of finger-banging old Mary Jane Rottencrotch...

...through her purty pink panties are over.

You're married to this piece.

This w*apon of iron and wood.

And you will be faithful.

Arms.

Prepare to mount.

Mount.

Port.

Pray.

RECRUITS: This is my r*fle.

There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My r*fle is my best friend.

It is my life.

I must master it as I must master my life.

Without me, my r*fle is useless.

Without my r*fle, I am useless.

I must fire my r*fle true.

I must sh**t straighter than my enemy, who is trying to k*ll me.

I must sh**t him before he sh**t me.

I will.

Before God, I swear this creed.

My r*fle and myself are defenders of my country.

We are the masters of our enemy.

We are the saviors of my life.

So be it until there is no enemy, but peace.

Amen.

Arm.

At ease.

Good night, ladies.

RECRUITS: Good night, sir.

HARTMAN: Hit it, sweetheart. - Sir, aye, aye, sir.

Right shoulder.

That is not your daddy's shotgun, Cowboy.

Left shoulder.

Move the r*fle around your head, not your head around the r*fle.

Port.

Four inches from your chest, Pyle. Four inches.

This is my r*fle, this is my g*n

This is for fighting, this is for fun

This is my r*fle, this is my g*n

This is for fighting, this is for fun

This is my r*fle, this is my g*n

This is for fighting, this is for fun

This is my r*fle, this is my g*n

This is for fighting, this is for fun

This is my r*fle, this is my g*n

This is for fighting, this is for fun

[HARTMAN CHANTING]

You're bouncing.

[HARTMAN CHANTING]

HARTMAN: Ten f*cking seconds.

It should take you no less than 10 f*cking seconds to negotiate this obstacle.

Quickly, move it out.

There ain't one swinging-d*ck private in this platoon's gonna graduate...

...until they can get this obstacle down to less than 10 f*cking seconds.

[RECRUITS CHEERING]

Next two privates. Quickly.

Get over that g*dd*mn obstacle. Move it.

Next two privates. Quickly.

Hurry up. Get up there.

- Private Joker, are you a k*ller? - Sir, yes, sir.

HARTMAN: Let me hear your w*r cry.

[SCREAMING]

Next two privates, go. Quickly.

Get your fat ass over there, Private Pyle.

Oh, that's right, Private Pyle.

Don't make any f*cking effort to get up to the top of the f*cking obstacle.

If God wanted you up there, he would have miracled your ass up by now, wouldn't he?

PYLE: Sir, yes, sir. - Get your fat ass up there, Pyle.

- Sir, yes, sir. - What the hell is the matter with you?

I'll bet if there was some p*ssy up there on top of that obstacle, you could get up there.

- Couldn't you? - Sir, yes, sir.

Your ass looks like about 150 pounds of chewed bubble gum. Do you know that?

PYLE: Sir, yes, sir.

One for the commandant.

One for the Corps.

Get up there. Pull.

I guess the Corps don't get theirs. Get up there, Pyle.

Pull. Pull, Pyle, pull.

One pull-up, Pyle. Come on, pull.

You gotta be sh1tting me, Pyle. Get your ass up there.

Do you mean to tell me that you cannot do one single pull-up?

You are a worthless piece of sh*t, Pyle. Get out of my face.

Get up there, Snowball.

Get up here, fat-boy.

Quickly. Move it up. Move it up, Pyle. Move it up.

You climb obstacles like old people f*ck. Do you know that, Private Pyle?

Get up here. You're too slow. Move it. Move it.

Private Pyle, whatever you do, don't fall down.

That would break my f*cking heart.

Quickly. Up and over. Up and over.

Well, what in the f*ck are you waiting for, Private Pyle?

Get up and over. Move it, move it, move it.

Are you quitting on me?

Well, are you?

Then quit, you slimy f*cking walrus-looking piece of sh*t.

Get the f*ck off of my obstacle.

Get the f*ck down off of my obstacle.

Now. Move it.

I'm gonna rip your balls off so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world.

I will motivate you, Private Pyle...

...if it short-dicks every cannibal on the Congo.

Pick them up and set them down, Pyle.

Quickly. Move it out.

Were you born a fat, slimy, scumbag puke piece of sh*t, Private Pyle?

Or did you have to work on it?

Move it up. Quickly. Hustle up.

The f*cking w*r will be over by the time we get out there, won't it, Private Pyle?

Move it.

Are you going to f*cking die, Pyle? Are you going to die on me?

Do it now.

Move it up. Hustle it up. Quickly, quickly, quickly.

Do you feel dizzy?

Do you feel faint?

Jesus H. Christ, I think you've got a hard-on.

Quickly, ladies. Assholes and elbows. Move it out.

Get up here.

Move it. Move it, move it, move it.

Quickly.

Quickly. Get up here. Hurry up. Move it out.

[BUGLE PLAYING]

Reveille. Reveille. Reveille.

Drop your cocks and grab your socks.

Today is Sunday. Divine worship at 0800.

Get your bunks made and get your uniforms on.

Police call will commence in two minutes.

Private Cowboy, Private Joker.

- Sir, yes, sir. - Sir, yes, sir.

As soon as you finish your bunks, I want you two turds to clean the head.

- Sir, aye, aye, sir. - I want that head so sanitary...

...that the Virgin Mary herself would be proud to go in there and take a dump.

- Sir, yes, sir. - Sir, yes, sir.

Private Joker, do you believe in the Virgin Mary?

Sir, no, sir.

Well, Private Joker, I don't believe I heard you correctly.

Sir, the private said, "No, sir," sir.

Why, you little maggot. You make me wanna vomit.

You g*dd*mn communist heathen. Sound off that you love the Virgin Mary...

...or I'm gonna stomp your guts out.

Now, you do love the Virgin Mary, don't you?

Sir, negative, sir.

Private Joker, are you trying to offend me?

Sir, negative, sir.

Sir, the private believes that any answer he gives will be wrong...

...and the senior drill instructor will b*at him harder if he reverses himself, sir.

Who's your squad leader, scumbag?

Sir, the private's squad leader is Private Snowball, sir.

Private Snowball.

Sir, Private Snowball reporting as ordered, sir.

Private Snowball, you're fired. Private Joker is promoted to squad leader.

- Sir, aye, aye, sir. - Disappear, scumbag.

- Sir, aye, aye, sir. - Private Pyle.

- Sir, Private Pyle reporting as ordered, sir. - From now on...

...Private Joker is your new squad leader and you will bunk with him.

He'll teach you everything.

- He'll teach you how to pee. - Sir, yes, sir.

Private Joker is silly and he's ignorant, but he's got guts and guts is enough.

Now, you ladies, carry on.

Sir, aye, aye, sir.

The bolt. The bolt goes in the receiver.

Operating-rod handle.

Operating-rod guide.

And the left one over the right.

Right one over the left.

Left one over the right.

The right one over the left.

Just throw your other leg over.

Attaboy.

That's it. Now just pull the next one over and you're home free.

Ready?

Just throw it over.

Attaboy.

Set it down.

All right?

There you go.

Congratulations, Leonard.

You did it.

Fold the blanket and the sheet back together.

Make a four-inch fold.

Okay? Got it?

You do it.

Right shoulder.

HARTMAN: Your left shoulder.

Port.

Order.

[HARTMAN CHANTING]

Your right shoulder.

Square these weapons away.

My Corps' arms should be parallel to the...

[g*nshots]

HARTMAN: The deadliest w*apon in the world...

...is a Marine and his r*fle.

It is your k*ller instinct which must be harnessed...

...if you expect to survive in combat.

Your r*fle is only a tool.

It is a hard heart that kills.

If your k*ller instincts are not clean and strong...

...you will hesitate at the moment of truth.

You Will not k*ll.

You will become dead-Marine.

And then you will be in a world of sh*t.

Because Marines...

...are not allowed to die without permission.

Do you maggots understand?

Sir, yes, sir.

I love working for Uncle Sam

I love working for Uncle Sam

Lets me know just who I am

Lets me know just who I am

One, two, three, four United States Marine Corps

One, two, three, four United States Marine Corps

One, two, three, four I love the Marine Corps

One, two, three, four I love the Marine Corps

- My Corps - My Corps

- Your Corps - Your Corps

- Our Corps - Our Corps

- Marine Corps - Marine Corps

I don't know, but I've been told

I don't know, but I've been told

Eskimo p*ssy is mighty cold

Eskimo p*ssy is mighty cold

- Mmm, good - Mmm, good

- Feels good - Feels good

- ls good - Is good

- Real good - Real good

- Tastes good - Tastes good

- Mighty good - Mighty good

- Good for you - Good for you

- Good for me - Good for me

HARTMAN: Trim them.

Toe jam.

Pop that blister.

Jesus H. Christ.

Private Pyle, why is your footlocker unlocked?

Sir, I don't know, sir.

Private Pyle, if there is one thing in this world that I hate...

...it is an unlocked footlocker. You know that, don't you?

- Sir, yes, sir. - If it wasn't for dickheads like you...

...there wouldn't be thievery in the world, would there?

- Sir, no, sir. - Get down.

Well, now, let's just see if there's anything missing.

Holy Jesus.

What is that?

What the f*ck is that?

What is that, Private Pyle?

Sir, a jelly doughnut, sir.

- A jelly doughnut? - Sir, yes, sir.

- How did it get here? - Sir, I took it from the mess hall, sir.

Is chow allowed in the barracks, Private Pyle?

- Sir, no, sir. - Are you allowed to eat jelly doughnuts?

- Sir, no, sir. - And why not, Private Pyle?

Sir, because I'm too heavy, sir.

- Because you are a disgusting fat-body. - Sir, yes, sir.

Then why did you hide a jelly doughnut in your footlocker, Private Pyle?

Sir, because I was hungry, sir.

Because you were hungry.

Private Pyle has dishonored himself...

...and dishonored the platoon.

I have tried to help him, but I have failed.

I have failed because you have not helped me.

You people have not given Private Pyle...

...the proper motivation.

So from now on, whenever Private Pyle fucks up...

...I will not punish him.

I will punish all of you.

And the way I see it, ladies...

...you owe me for one jelly doughnut.

Now get on your faces.

Open your mouth.

They're paying for it, you eat it.

Ready, exercise.

RECRUITS: One, two, three, four

I love the Marine Corps

One, two, three, four

I love the Marine Corps

One, two, three, four

I love the Marine Corps

One, two, three, four

I love the Marine Corps

One, two, three, four...

You really look like sh*t today, Leonard.

Joker.

Everybody hates me now.

Even you.

Nobody hates you, Leonard.

You just keep making mistakes.

Getting everybody in trouble.

I can't do anything right.

I need help.

I'm trying to help you, Leonard.

I'm really trying.

Tuck your shirt in.

One, two, three, 19.

One, two, three, 20.

One, two, three, 21.

One, two, three, 22.

One, two, three, 23.

One, two, three, 24.

One, two, three, 25.

One, two, three, 26.

One, two, three, 27.

One, two, three, 28.

One, two, three, 29.

One, two, three, 30.

[PYLE SCREAMING]

Do it.

Do it.

Remember, it's just a bad dream, fat-boy.

HARTMAN: Port.

Left shoulder.

Right shoulder.

Port.

Do we love our beloved Corps, ladies?

Semper 11, do or die. Gung ho. Sung ho. Gung ho.

HARTMAN: What makes the grass grow?

Blood, blood, blood.

What do we do for a living, ladies?

k*ll, k*ll, k*ll.

I can't hear you.

k*ll, k*ll, k*ll.

Bullshit. I still can't hear you.

k*ll, k*ll, k*ll.

Do any of you people know who Charles Whitman was?

None of you dumb-asses knows?

Private Cowboy.

Sir, he was that guy who sh*t all those people from that tower in Austin, Texas, sir.

That's affirmative. Charles Whitman k*lled 12 people...

...from a 28-story observation tower at the University of Texas.

From distances of up to 400 yards.

Anybody know who Lee Harvey Oswald was?

Private Snowball.

Sir, he sh*t Kennedy, sir.

That's right. And do you know how far away he was?

Sir, he was pretty far. From that book-suppository building, sir.

[RECRUITS CHUCKLING]

All right, knock it off.

Two-hundred-and-fifty feet.

He was 250 feet away and sh**ting at a moving target.

Oswald got off three rounds with an old Italian bolt-action r*fle in only six seconds...

...and scored two hits, including a head sh*t.

Do any of you people know where these individuals learned how to sh**t?

Private Joker.

Sir, in the Marines, sir.

In the Marines. Outstanding.

Those individuals showed what one motivated Marine and his r*fle can do.

And before you ladies leave my island...

...you will all be able to do the same thing.

[SINGING "HAPPY BIRTHDAY"]

Today...

...is Christmas.

There will be a magic show at 0930.

Chaplain Charlie will tell you...

...about how the free world will conquer communism...

...with the aid of God and a few Marines.

God has a hard-on for Marines...

...because we k*ll everything we see.

He plays his games...

...we play ours.

To show our appreciation for so much power...

...we keep heaven packed with fresh souls.

God was here before the Marine Corps.

So you can give your heart to Jesus...

...but your ass belongs to the Corps.

Do you ladies understand?

- Sir, yes, sir. - I can't hear you.

Sir, yes, sir.

PYLE: It's been swabbed and brushed.

Everything...

...is clean.

Beautiful.

So that it slides perfect.

Nice.

Everything Clean.

Oiled.

So that your action is beautiful.

Smooth Charlene.

Leonard talks to his r*fle.

Yeah.

I don't think Leonard can hack it anymore.

I think Leonard's a Section Eight.

COWBOY: It don't surprise me.

JOKER: I wanna slip my tube steak into your sister.

What will you take in trade?

What do you got?

Outstanding, Private Pyle.

I think we finally found something that you do well.

Sir, yes, sir.

What's your sixth general order?

Sir, the sixth general order is to receive and obey...

...and pass on to the sentry who relieves me...

...all orders...

Sir, the private's sixth general...

The private has been instructed but does not know.

You slimy scumbag, get on your face and give me 25.

Sir, aye, aye, sir.

How many counts in that movement you just ex*cuted?

- Sir, four counts, sir. - What's the idea of looking in the chamber?

Sir, to guarantee the private is not giving the inspecting officer a loaded w*apon, sir.

What's your fifth general order?

Sir, the fifth general order is to quit my post only when properly relieved, sir.

What's this w*apon's name, Private Pyle?

Sir, the private's w*apon's name is Charlene, sir.

Private Pyle, you are definitely born-again hard.

Hell, I may even allow you to serve as a rifleman in my beloved Corps.

Sir, yes, sir.

I don't want no teenage queen

I don't want no teenage queen

[just want my M14

[just want my M14

If I die in a combat zone

If I die in a combat zone

Box me up and ship me home

Box me up and ship me home

Pin my medals upon my chest

Pin my medals upon my chest

Tell my mom I done my best

Tell my mom I done my best

Graduation is only a few days away...

...and the recruits of Platoon 3092 are salty.

They are ready to eat their own guts and ask for seconds.

The drill instructors are proud to see that we are growing beyond their control.

The Marine Corps does not want robots.

The Marine Corps wants K*llers.

The Marine Corps wants to build indestructible men.

Men without fear.

Today, you people are no longer maggots.

Today, you are Marines.

You're part of a brotherhood.

From now on, until the day you die...

...wherever you are...

...every Marine is your brother.

Most of you will go to Vietnam.

Some of you will not come back.

But always remember this:

Marines die.

That's what we're here for.

But the Marine Corps lives forever...

...and that means you live forever.

- Peckett. - Sir, yes, sir.

HARTMAN: 0300, Infantry.

- Toe Jam. - Sir, yes, sir.

0300, Infantry.

- Adams. - Sir, yes, sir.

1800, Engineers.

You go out and find mines.

- Cowboy. - Sir, yes, sir.

- 0300, Infantry. Taylor. TAYLOR: Sir, yes, sir.

0300, Infantry.

- Joker. - Sir, yes, sir.

4212, Basic m*llitary Journalism.

You gotta be sh1tting me, Joker.

You think you're Mickey Spillane?

You think you're some kind of f*cking writer?

Sir, I wrote for my high-school newspaper, sir.

Jesus H. Christ. You're not a writer, you're a k*ller.

A k*ller, yes, sir.

HARTMAN: Gomer Pyle.

- Gomer Pyle. - Sir, yes, sir.

You forget your f*cking name? 0300, Infantry. You made it.

- Perkins. PERKINS: Sir, yes, sir.

Our last night on the island.

I draw fire watch.

[CLANGING]

Hi, Joker.

Are those live rounds?

Seven-six-two millimeter.

Full metal jacket.

Leonard...

...if Hartman comes in here and catches us...

...we'll both be in a world of sh*t.

I am...

...in a world...

...of sh*t.

Left shoulder.

Right shoulder.

Lock and load.

Order.

This is my r*fle.

There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My r*fle is my best friend. It is my life.

Get back in your bunks.

What is this Mickey Mouse sh*t?

What in the name of Jesus H. Christ are you animals doing in my head?

Why is Private Pyle out of his bunk after lights out?

Why is Private Pyle holding that w*apon?

Why aren't you stomping Private Pyle's guts out?

Sir, it is the private's duty to inform the senior drill instructor...

...that Private Pyle has a full magazine and has locked and loaded, sir.

Now you listen to me, Private Pyle...

...and you listen good.

I want that w*apon...

...and I want it now.

You will place that r*fle on the deck at your feet...

...and step back away from it.

What is your major malfunction, numb-nuts?

Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

Easy, Leonard.

Go easy, man.

No!

Hey, baby. You got girlfriend Vietnam?

Not just this minute.

Well, baby, me so horny.

Me so horny.

Me love you long time.

You party?

Yeah, we might party.

- How much? - Fifteen dollar.

- Fifteen dollars for both of us. - No. Each you $15.

Me love you long time.

Me so horny.

Fifteen dollar too beaucoup.

- Five dollars each. - Me sucky-sucky.

Me love you too much.

Five dollars is all my mom allows me to spend.

Okay. Ten dollar each.

What do we get for $10?

Everything you want.

- Everything? - Everything.

Well, old buddy, feel like spending some of your hard-earned money?

Just a minute.

You know, half these gook whores are serving officers in the Vietcong.

The other half have got TB.

Be sure you only f*ck the ones that cough.

That little sucker really had some moves on him, didn't he?

Yeah.

You know what really pisses me off about these people?

What?

We're supposed to be helping them, and they sh*t all over us every chance they get.

I just can't feature that.

Don't take it too hard, Rafterman. It's just business.

I hate Da Nang, Joker. I wanna go out into the field.

I've been in country almost three months...

...and all I do is take handshake sh*ts at award ceremonies.

You'd get wasted your first day in the field and it'd be my fault.

A high school girl could do my job.

I wanna get out into the sh*t.

I wanna get some trigger time.

If you get k*lled, your mom will find me after I rotate back to the world...

...and she'll b*at the sh*t out of me.

That's a negative, Rafterman.

Okay, guys. Let's keep it short and sweet today. Anybody got anything new?

There's a rumor going around that the Tet ceasefire is gonna be canceled.

Rear-echelon paranoia.

A bro in intelligence says Charlie might try to pull off something big during Tet.

They say the same thing every year.

There's a lot of talk about it, sir.

I wouldn't lose any sleep over it.

The Tet holiday is like the Fourth of July, Christmas and New Year all rolled into one.

Every zipperhead in Nam, North and South, will be banging gongs...

...barking at the moon and visiting his dead relatives.

Right. Ann-Margret and entourage are due here next week.

I want someone there on the airfield and stick with her for a couple of days.

- Rafterman, you take it. - Aye, aye, sir.

And get some good low-angle stuff.

Don't make it too obvious, but I wanna see fur and early-morning dew.

RAFTERMAN: Yes, sir. - "Diplomats in dungarees.

Marine engineers lend a helping hand rebuilding Dong Phuc village recently"...

Chili, if we move Vietnamese, they are evacuees...

...if they come to us to be evacuated, they are refugees.

I'll make a note of it, sir.

"NVA soldier deserts after reading pamphlets.

A young North Vietnamese Army regular, who realized his side could not win...

...deserted from his unit after reading Open Arms pamphlets."

That's good, Dave. But why say North Vietnamese Army regular?

Is there an irregular? How about North Vietnamese Army soldier?

I'll fix it up, sir.

LOCKHART: Lawrence Welk Show is out on TV in two weeks.

Dave, do 100 words on it.

- AFTV will give you some background stuff. DAVE: Sir.

"Not while we're eating.

NVA learned Marines on a search-and-destroy mission...

...don't like to be interrupted while eating chow."

Search-and-destroy. Uh, we have a new directive from MAF on this.

In future, in place of search-and-destroy, substitute the phrase sweep-and-clear.

- Sweep-and-clear, got it? - Got it. Very catchy.

And, Joker, where's the weenie?

Sir?

The k*ll, Joker. The k*ll. I mean, all that fire, the grunts must have hit something.

Didn't see them.

Joker, I've told you, we run two basic stories here.

Grunts who give half their pay to buy gooks toothbrushes and deodorants.

Winning of hearts and minds. Okay?

And combat action that results in a k*ll. Winning the w*r.

Now, you must have seen blood trails. Drag marks?

It was raining, sir.

Well, that's why God passed the law of probability.

Now rewrite it and give it a happy ending. Say, one k*lled.

Make it a sapper or an officer. Which?

Whichever you say.

Grunts like reading about dead officers.

Okay, an officer. How about a general?

[CHUCKLING]

Joker...

...maybe you'd like our guys to read the paper and feel bad.

I mean, in case you didn't know it, this is not a very popular w*r.

Now, it is our job to report the news...

...that these why-are-we-here civilian newsmen ignore.

Sir, maybe you should go out on some ops yourself.

I'm sure you could find a lot more blood trails and drag marks.

Joker, I've had my ass in the grass.

Can't say I liked it much.

Lots of bugs and too dangerous.

As it happens, my present duties keep me where I belong...

...in the rear with the gear.

Tet. The year of the monkey.

Vietnamese Lunar New Year's Eve.

Down in Dogpatch, the gooks are sh**ting off fireworks to celebrate.

I am f*cking bored to death, man.

I gotta get back in the sh*t.

I ain't heard a sh*t fired in anger in weeks.

Joker's so tough...

...he'd eat the boogers out of a dead man's nose...

[MARINES CHUCKLING]

...then ask for seconds.

Listen up, pilgrim.

A day without blood is like a day without sunshine.

sh*t.

Joker thinks the bad bush is between an old mama-san's legs.

He's never been in the sh*t.

It's hard to talk about it, man. It's like on Hastings.

You weren't on Operation Hastings, Payback.

- You weren't even in country. - Eat sh*t and die...

...you f*cking Spanish-American. You f*cking pogue.

I was there, man.

I was in the sh*t with the grunts.

Don't listen to any of Payback's bullshit, Rafterman.

Sometimes he thinks he's John Wayne.

You listen to Joker, new guy. He knows ti ti.

Very little.

You know he's never been in the sh*t. He ain't got the stare.

- The stare? - The thousand-yard stare.

A Marine gets it after he's been in the sh*t for too long.

It's like--

It's like you're really seeing beyond.

I got it.

All field Marines got it.

And you'll have it too.

I will?

Hey, Payback...

...how do you stop five black dudes from raping a white chick?

- f*ck you, Stork. - Throw them a basketball.

[g*nf*re]

DAVE: Incoming. - Oh, sh*t.

CHILI: Them are outgoing.

DAVE: That ain't outgoing. CHILI: That ain't outgoing.

DAVE: Now, what did I just say?

[SIRENS WAILING]

Hey, I hope they're just f*cking with us.

- I ain't ready for this sh*t. - Amen.

MAN 1: Cease fire.

- Cease fire. MAN 2: Cease fire.

[g*nshots]

Cease fire.

LOCKHART: The enemy...

...has very deceitfully...

...taken advantage of the Tet ceasefire...

...to launch an offensive all over the country.

So far, we've had it pretty easy here.

But we seem to be the exception.

Charlie has hit every major m*llitary target in Vietnam and hit them hard.

In Saigon the United States Embassy has been overrun by su1c1de squads.

MARINE 1: sh*t. MARINE 2: Jesus Christ, man.

Khe Sanh is standing by to be overrun.

We also have reports that a division of NVA...

...has occupied all of the city of Hue south of the Perfume River.

In strategic terms, Charlie's cut the country in half...

...the civilian press are about to wet their pants...

...and we've heard even Cronkite's gonna say the w*r is now unwinnable.

In other words...

...it's a huge sh*t sandwich and we're all gonna have to take a bite.

Sir.

Does this mean that Ann-Margret's not coming?

[MARINES LAUGHING]

Joker, I want you to get straight up to Phú Bai.

Captain January will need all his people.

- Yes, sir. LOCKHART: And, Joker...

...you will take off that damn button.

How's it gonna look if you get k*lled wearing a peace symbol?

Sir, permission to go with Joker?

- Permission granted. - Thank you, sir.

Sir, permission not to take Rafterman with me?

You still here?

Vanish, Joker, most ricky-tick, and take Rafterman with you.

You're responsible for him.

[g*nf*re]

MARINE: Get some.

Get some.

Get some. Get some. Yeah. Yeah.

Get some. Get some. Come on. Come on.

Get some.

Ha-ha! Get some, baby.

Get some. Get some. Get some.

Get some. Get some, come on. Get it, come on.

Get some. Get some. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I've got you, mother.

Ha-ha!

Anyone who runs is a VG.

Anyone who stands still...

...is a well-disciplined VC.

[LAUGHING]

You guys ought to do a story about me sometime.

Why should we do a story about you?

Because I'm so f*cking good.

That ain't no sh*t neither.

I've done got me 157 dead gooks k*lled.

And 50 water buffaloes too.

Them are all certified.

Any women or children?

Sometimes.

How can you sh**t women and children?

Easy.

You just don't lead them so much.

Ain't w*r hell?

Top, we wanna get in the sh*t.

MASTER SERGEANT: Down the road. Two-Five.

Two-Five. Outstanding. Thanks, Top.

Excuse me.

Sir.

We're looking for 1st Platoon, Hotel Two-Five.

I got a bro named Cowboy there.

You people one-one?

No, sir. We're reporters from Stars and Stripes.

- Stars and Stripes? - Yes, sir.

I'm Cowboy's platoon commander.

Cowboy's just down the road in the platoon area.

- You mind if we tag along, sir? - No problem. Welcome aboard.

By the way, my name's Schinoski. Walter J. Schinoski.

My people call me Mr. Touchdown.

I played ball for Notre Dame.

- Notre Dame? - Yeah.

- All right. - You here to make Cowboy famous?

Never happen, sir.

Well, if you people came looking for a story, this is your lucky day.

We got Condition Red and we're definitely expecting rain.

Outstanding, sir. We taking care of business?

Well, the NVA are dug in deep.

Hotel Company's still working this side of the river...

...street by street and house by house.

Charles definitely got his sh*t together...

...but we're still getting some decent kills here.

We heard some scuttlebutt, sir, about the NVA executing a lot of gook civilians.

That's affirmative.

I saw some bodies about a half a klick this side of Phu Cam Canal.

Will you show me where, sir?

Here's the canal.

The dead have been covered with lime.

The dead know only one thing:

It is better to be alive.

Excuse me?

- Good morning, lieutenant. - Morning.

I make it 20. Is that the official body count, sir?

What outfit are you men with?

Sir, we're reporters from Stars and Stripes.

- Oh, I see. - I'm Sergeant Joker...

...and this photographer is Rafterman.

I'm Lieutenant Cleves and I'm from Hartford, Connecticut.

- Have you got a body count, sir? - We think it's 20.

Do you know how it happened, sir?

Well, it seems the NVA came in with a list of gook names.

Government officials, policemen, ARVIN officers, school teachers.

They went around to their houses real polite...

...and asked them to report the next day for political reeducation.

Everybody who turned up got sh*t.

Some they buried alive.

Ready.

Colonel.

Marine, what is that button on your body armor?

A peace symbol, sir.

- Where did you get it? - I don't remember, sir.

What is that written on your helmet?

Born to k*ll, sir.

You write born to k*ll on your helmet and wear a peace button.

What's that supposed to be, some kind of sick joke?

- No, sir. - What is it supposed to mean?

I don't know, sir.

- You don't know much. - No, sir.

Get your head and your ass wired together or I will take a sh*t on you.

- Yes, sir. - Now answer my question...

...or you'll be standing tall before the man.

I was trying to suggest something about the duality of man, sir.

- The what? - The duality of man. The Jungian thing, sir.

- Whose side are you on, son? - Our side, sir.

- You love your country? - Yes, sir.

How about getting with the program.

Jump on the team and come on in for the big win.

Yes, sir.

All I've asked of my Marines is for them to obey my orders as they would God's word.

We are here to help the Vietnamese...

...because inside every gook there is an American trying to get out.

It's a hardball world, son.

We've gotta try to keep our heads until this peace craze blows over.

Aye, aye, sir.

JOKER: Hey, bro. We're looking for 1st Platoon, Hotel Two-Five.

Around the back.

JOKER: First Platoon? MARINE: Yeah, through there.

Hey, Lone Ranger.

- Holy sh*t. It's the Joker. - You old m*therf*cker.

What's happening?

Thought I hoped I'd never see you again, you piece of sh*t.

What's happening, man?

Oh, just waiting to get back to the land of the big PX.

Yeah? Well, why go back?

Here or there, samey-same.

- Been getting any? - Only your sister.

Well, better my sister than my mom, though my mom's not bad.

Hey, you Hogs, listen up.

This is my bro, Joker, from the Island, and this is...?

- Rafterman. - Rafterman.

They're from Stars and Stripes. They'll make you famous.

- f*cking A. - Yeah.

COWBOY: We're the Lusthog Squad.

We're life-takers and heartbreakers.

We sh**t them full of holes and fill them full of lead.

You a photographer?

No, I'm a combat correspondent.

Oh, you seen much combat?

[MARINES CHUCKLING]

Well, I've seen a little on TV.

[MARINES LAUGHING]

You're a real comedian.

- Well, they call me the Joker. MARINES: Ooh...

Well, I got a joke for you.

- I'm gonna tear you a new assh*le. MARINES: Whoa!

Well, pilgrim...

...only after you eat the peanuts out of my sh*t.

You talk the talk.

- Do you walk the walk? MARINES: Oh...

Now, you might not believe it...

...but under fire, Animal Mother's one of the finest human beings in the world.

All he needs is somebody to throw hand grenades at him the rest of his life.

That's a roger, come on. Sit down. Come on, new guy.

Hey, jungle-bunny.

Thank God for the sickle cell, huh?

Yeah, Mother.

Hey, photographer.

You wanna take a good picture?

Here, man.

Take this.

This is my bro.

[MARINES CHUCKLING]

This is his party.

He's the guest of honor.

Today is his birthday.

Happy birthday, zipperhead.

I will never forget this day.

The day I came to Hue City and fought 1 million NVA gooks.

I love the little commie bastards, man, I really do.

These enemy grunts are as hard as slant-eyed drill instructors.

These are great days we're living, bros.

We are jolly green giants, walking the earth with g*ns.

These people we wasted here today...

...are the finest human beings we will ever know.

After we rotate back to the world...

...we're gonna miss not having anyone around who's worth sh**ting.

MARINE 1: Stay put, keep your heads down. MARINE 2: Stay put.

Stay put.

sh*t.

Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over.

Delta Six Actual, this is Murphy. Over.

MAN [ON RADIO]: Delta Six.

MURPHY: Delta Six, we are receiving incoming fire from the vi”.

The lieutenant is down.

We're going to stop here and check out what's in front of us. Over.

Okay, Lusthog Squad, listen up.

Gonna move up these two roads and check the vi”.

I want the third team up this road here.

First and second fire team behind me up this other road, okay?

MARINES: Okay. - Let's go. Let's get it done.

Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?

Hey, start the cameras. This is Vietnam: The Movie.

Yeah, Joker can be John Wayne, I'll be a horse.

- T.H.E. Rock can be a rock. - I'll be Ann-Margret.

Animal Mother can be a rabid buffalo.

- I'll be General Custer. - Who'll be the Indian?

Hey, we'll let the gooks play the Indians.

You're going home now.

Semper fi.

We're mean Marines, sir.

Go easy, bros.

Better you than me.

Well, at least they d*ed for a good cause.

ANIMAL MOTHER: What cause was that?

RAFTERMAN: Freedom.

Flush out your headgear, new guy.

You think we waste gooks for freedom?

This is a slaughter.

If I'm gonna get my balls blown off for a word...

...my word is poon tang.

Tough break for Hand Job.

He was all set to get shipped out on a medical.

What was the matter with him?

He was jerking off 10 times a day.

It's no sh*t. At least 10 times a day.

Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker.

The crazy fucker starts jerking off in the waiting room.

Instant Section Eight.

He was just waiting for his papers to clear Division.

You ready? Turn over.

Hue City interviews, roll 34.

Well, like-- Like you see, you know, it's a major city...

...so we have to as*ault with, uh, tanks, we roll in the streets.

So they send us in first to squat...

...make sure that there are no, uh, little...

No Vietnamese waiting with 3-40 rockets to blow the tanks away.

So we clear it out and we roll the tanks in...

...and basically blow the place to hell.

When we're in Hue, when we're in Hue City...

...it's like a w*r, you know...

...like what-- What--

What I thought about a w*r, what I thought a w*r was--

You know, was supposed to be.

Uh, there's the enemy, you k*ll them.

Well, I don't think there's any question about it. I mean, we're the best.

I mean, all that bullshit about the Air Cav...

When the sh*t hits the fan, who do they call?

They call Mother Green and her k*lling machine.

Do I think America belongs in Vietnam? Um...

I don't know. I belong in Vietnam, I'll tell you that.

Can I quote LBJ?

"I will not send American boys...

...8 or 10,000 miles around the world...

...to do a job that Asian boys ought to be doing for themselves."

Personally think they don't really want to be involved in this w*r...

...you know, I mean, like they- It's sort of like...

...they took away our freedom and gave it to the gookers, you know.

But they don't want it.

They'd rather be alive than free, I guess, you know.

Poor, dumb bastards.

Well, the ones I'm fighting at are some pretty-- Pretty bad boys.

I'm not real, uh...

I'm not real keen on some of these fellas...

...that are supposedly on our side.

I keep meeting them coming the other way.

Yeah.

I mean, we're getting k*lled for these people...

...and they don't even appreciate it.

They think it's a big joke.

Well, if you ask me, uh...

...we're sh**ting the wrong gooks.

Well, it depends on the situation. I mean, I'm here to take combat photos.

But if the sh*t gets too thick, I mean, I'll go to the r*fle.

What do I think about America's involvement in the w*r?

Well, I think we should win.

I hate Vietnam.

There's not one horse in this whole country.

They don't have one horse in Vietnam.

There's something basically wrong with that.

Well, if they'd send us more guys, maybe...

...and b*mb the hell out of the North, they might give up.

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.

I, uh-- I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture...

...and k*ll them.

I wanted to be the first kid on my block to get a confirmed k*ll.

MARINE: Ten hut.

COWBOY: All right. MARINE: My, oh, my.

- Good morning, little schoolgirl. MARINE: Look at this lady.

I'm a little schoolboy too.

MARINE: My, my, my.

COWBOY: What you got there, chief? - Do you want number-one fucky?

MARINE: Oh, yeah.

Hey, any of you boys want number-one fucky?

JOKER: I'm so horny, I can't even get a piece of hand.

- Me want sucky. - Sucky, fucky, smoke cigarette in her p*ssy.

She give you everything you want, long time.

Everything you want. Hey, how much there, chief?

- Fifteen dollars each. MARINES: No.

Fifteen dollar beaucoup money.

Five dollar each.

Come on, she love you good.

Boom-boom long time.

- Ten dollars. COWBOY: Five dollars.

No. Ten dollars.

Be glad to trade you some ARVIN r*fles.

Ain't never been fired and only dropped once.

[LAUGHING]

Okay, $5. You give me.

- Okay, okay. - All right.

Let's get mounted.

[SPEAKING IN VIETNAMESE]

Something wrong there, chief?

She says no boom-boom with soul brother.

What the motherfuck?

She says soul brother too beaucoup, too beaucoup.

What is this, man?

I think what he's trying to tell you is you black boys pack too much meat.

[LAUGHING]

Too beaucoup, too beaucoup.

Oh, sh*t.

This baby-san looks like she could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

She say too beaucoup, too beaucoup.

Excuse me, ma'am.

What we have here, little yellow sister...

...is a magnificent specimen of pure Alabama blacksnake.

But it ain't too g*dd*mn beaucoup.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay.

All right. Yeah. This is my boogie.

COWBOY: Hey, we need a batting order. - I'm going first.

Back off, white bread. Don't get between a dog and his meat.

All f*cking n*gg*r*s must f*cking hang.

MARINES: Hey, Animal, man. You son of a-

Hey, hey, I won't be long. I'll skip the foreplay.

MARINE 1: I don't want it after you. MARINE 2: f*ck you.

[g*nshots]

Intelligence passed the word down...

...that during the night the NVA had pulled out of our area...

...to positions across the Perfume River.

Our squad is sent on patrol to check out the report.

Face outboard and take cover. Do it.

DOC JAY [GASPING]: sh*t.

He ain't gonna make it.

sh*t.

Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy.

Hotel One Actual, this is Cowboy.

MAN [ON RADIO]: Hotel One. Over.

Murph, this is Cowboy.

Crazy's hit. Booby trap.

Wait, One.

Okay. You're senior NCO, Cowboy. You're in charge.

- Continue with the patrol... DOC JAY: sh*t.

- ...and call in at the next checkpoint. - sh*t.

Roger. Out.

[COWBOY GASPING]

I'm squad leader.

Follow you anywhere, scumbag.

All right.

He's dead.

EIGHTBALL: Cowboy.

What's up?

I think we made a mistake at the last Checkpoint.

Here, see what you think.

I think we're here...

...and we should be here.

- We're here? - Yeah.

- We should be here? - Yeah. Yeah, that's right.

f*ck.

What do you think?

Well, I think we should change direction.

COWBOY: Okay.

We'll change direction.

What's up?

Change in direction.

What are we, lost?

Joker, shut the f*ck up.

Okay, listen up.

- Can you hear me? - Yeah.

Okay, we're changing direction.

We're heading over that way.

Eightball's gonna go over there and see can he find a way through.

- Got it? MARINES: Got it.

Eightball, let's dance.

Put a n*gg*r behind the trigger.

[SCREAMING]

f*ck.

COWBOY: Cease fire.

Ceasefire, g*dd*mn it.

Cool it, g*dd*mn it. Cool it. Ceasefire.

- Hold it. - Cease fire.

MARINE: Cease fire. - Cease fire.

Okay, listen up. Did anybody see a sn*per? Did anybody see anything?

MARINES: Anybody see a sn*per?

MARINE: Nothing. - Negative.

Okay, then save your a*mo. Nobody fire till I tell you.

Eightball.

No, no. Cease fire. Ceasefire.

Animal, cease fire.

Cowboy, it's Sergeant Murphy.

This is Cowboy. Over.

MURPHY: This is Murphy. What is your present position? Over.

Murph, we're receiving enemy sn*per fire.

Eightball is down.

Our position is about half a klick north of Checkpoint Four.

Believe possible, strong enemy forces occupying buildings in front of us.

Request immediate t*nk support. Over.

Roger. Understand.

I'll see what I can do. Over.

Roger. Over and out.

- Stay close. - Got it.

Okay, listen up. I think we're being set up for an ambush.

I think there may be strong enemy forces in those buildings over there.

I've requested t*nk support.

We're gonna sit tight till it comes, but keep your eyes open.

If they decide to hit us, we'll have to pull back fast.

g*dd*mn it. Halt. Cease your fire, Mother.

- Cease your f*cking fire. - Cowboy.

- What? - We can't leave him out there.

We're not leaving him, we'll get him when the t*nk comes up.

He's hit three f*cking times. He can't wait that long.

I seen this before.

That sn*per's just trying to suck us in, one at a time.

g*dd*mn it. No.

- g*dd*mn it, cease fire. Cease fire. - Man, f*ck this-

f*ck this sh*t. I'm going in to bring him out.

- No, you sit the f*ck down, g*dd*mn it. DOC JAY: Cover me.

COWBOY: Cease fire, he's there. Cease fire, he's there.

MARINE: Cease fire.

[SCREAMING]

Hold your fire.

Hold your fire.

Cease fire, you can't see the sn*per.

Save the a*mo. Nobody fire till I tell you. Nobody.

Hold your fire.

What the f*ck do we do now, Cowboy?

Give me that f*cking radio.

Murph? This is Cowboy. Over.

This is Murphy. Over.

Murph, we're in some deep sh*t. I got two men down.

What's the story on that f*cking t*nk? Over.

Sorry, Cowboy. No luck so far with the t*nk.

Will advise. Over.

Roger. Out.

Numb-nut bastards.

- Okay, listen up. - Listen up.

Can't afford to wait for the t*nk.

I think they're gonna hit us any minute.

When they do, we won't have time to pull out.

We gotta do it now. Let's get ready to move.

- Ready to pull out. - Wait a minute. Hold it.

Hold it, nobody's pulling out. There's only one f*cking sn*per out there.

Back off, Mother.

I'm calling the plays. I say we're pulling out.

Yeah, well, what about Doc Jay and Eightball?

I know it's a shitty thing to do, but we can't refuse to accept the situation.

Yeah, we're not leaving Doc Jay and Eightball out there.

COWBOY: Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted.

- You know that. - Bullshit. Come on, you guys.

We gotta bring them back. Let's get them, let's do it.

Stand-down, Mother. That's a direct order.

f*ck you, Cowboy. f*ck all you, assholes.

- g*dd*mn it. - f*cking son of a bitch.

You m*therf*cker.

Doc. Doc. Doc.

Where's the sn*per?

Doc, where's the sn*per?

sh*t.

sh*t. f*ck.

f*ck.

Hey, Cowboy.

COWBOY: Yeah?

ANIMAL MOTHER: Doc Jay and Eightball are wasted.

There's only one sn*per, nothing else.

Move up the squad, you're clear up to here.

Come on.

Son of a bitch.

- Okay, listen up. MARINE: Listen up.

No-Doze, Stutten, Donlon, Rock, you come with me, we'll take a look.

The rest of you all stay put and cover our ass.

We may be coming back in a big hurry.

- I'm going with you. - I'm coming too.

Okay.

- You all set? - Yeah.

Let's move out.

MARINE 1: Let's do it.

ANIMAL MOTHER: Hey, Cowboy.

Top of the black building, around the corner.

Donlon, give me that radio.

Murphy, this is Cowboy. Over.

JOKER: Cowboy. RAFTERMAN: That sn*per's got a clean sh*t.

Get him out of here.

[g*nf*re]

JOKER: I ain't got a first aid. COWBOY: I don't believe this sh*t.

JOKER: Give me your hand. COWBOY: Shut up.

- Take it easy, Cowboy. - Don't move.

- sh*t. - That son of a bitch.

- You'll be all right. - You're going home.

- Shut up. - Don't sh*t me.

You know I'm not gonna sh*t you, man. You're my favorite turd.

Come on. Easy.

Here you go.

- Cowboy. - Hang on, man. Hang on.

I can hack it. I can hack it.

- I can hack it. - You can hack it, man.

Let's go get some payback.

Okay.

Okay.

ANIMAL MOTHER: Watch that f*cking hole.

Throw some smoke.

Okay, ready?

ANIMAL MOTHER: Donlon, Rock, that way. You two, with me.

Joker, in there. New guy.

We got the sn*per!

[RUSTLING]

ANIMAL MOTHER: Joker?

JOKER:

ANIMAL MOTHER: What's up?

We got the sn*per.

RAFTERMAN: I saved Joker's ass.

I got the sn*per.

I f*cking blew her away.

Am I bad?

Am I a life-taker? Am I a heartbreaker?

What's she saying?

She's praying.

No more boom-boom for this baby-san.

There's nothing we can do for her.

She's dead meat.

Okay.

Let's get the f*ck out of here.

What about her?

f*ck her.

Let her rot.

We can't just leave her here.

Hey, assh*le.

Cowboy's wasted.

You're fresh out of friends.

I'm running this squad now...

...and I say we leave the gook for the mother-loving rats.

I'm not trying to run this squad.

I'm just saying we can't leave her like this.

sh**t me.

sh**t...

...me.

sh**t...

...me.

sh**t.

sh**t.

If you wanna waste her, go on...

...waste her.

sn*per: sh**t...

...me.

sh**t me.

sh**t...

...me.

sh**t...

...me.

sh**t.

sh**t.

sh**t.

sh**t.

[g*nsh*t]

[RAFTERMAN LAUGHING]

Joker...

...we're gonna have to put you up for the Congressional Medal of Ugly.

DONLON: Hard-core, man.

f*cking hard-core.

JOKER: We have nailed our names in the pages of history enough for today.

We hump down to the Perfume River to set in for the night.

[MARINES SINGING "MICKEY MOUSE CLUB MARCH"]

My thoughts drift back to erect-nipple wet dreams...

...about Mary Jane Rottencrotch and the great homecoming-f*ck fantasy.

I am so happy that I am alive...

...in one piece and short.

I am in a world of sh*t, yes...

...but I am alive.

And I am not afraid.
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