01x04 - Excitement Park

[bunniefuu]

Come on, come on!

This is the best roller coaster
in the whole park!

Hurry up, we waited in line for two hours!

Okay, okay, you know I don't love heights.

Bayani, there are nine-year-olds
on this thing!

Children have nothing to live for.

I just got promoted at work.

Come on. You can do this.

Just close your eyes and it will
be over before you know it.

Hold my hand. I'm here for you.

I feel better.

Here we go-o-o-o!
I think you're going to love it.

Why won't it move?!

Why won't it move?!

What's happening?!

Why?!

WHO DID THIS TO US?

Good morning!

-Mama brought Frappuccinos.
-Hi, Molly.

What's going on? Is that real?

Yeah. They've been stuck upside down
for, like, seven hours.

Some shady theme park in the Philippines.

Yeah.
Apparently nothing was built to code.

Cost cutting, bribery. Horrible.

Oh, my God. I feel so bad for them.

Okay, who wants a pumpkin spice?

We are being told Excitement Park is owned
by KMVR Entertainment International,

a holding company
owned by billionaire Molly Wells.

City officials have sent

-all available resources to oversee…
-No, no! Do not let her see the TV.

-She's gonna--
-…attempt to rescue the passengers.

-Look so beautiful.
-No comment from Wells

-or any of her representatives.
-Hello, cheekbones!

Oh, sh*t!

-Have they gotten them out yet?
-No.

But they did feed them dinner,
so that's nice.

How are they going to poop?

So, I just got off the phone
with my lawyers.

Apparently, John bought a lot of companies
over the years,

and during the divorce,
I got half of them, which was news to me.

How could you not know
you own an entire theme park?

Well, there were bundled assets
and division of property.

And honestly, I was drunk
for the July that that was all happening.

Okay, that is
some truly sick rich-person sh*t.

You should see what we do with our boats
on New Year's Eve. It's horrifying.

I actually need to go.

We have
that zoning commission meeting today

about the Alameda Street housing project,

so, hopefully,
none of them watch the news.

I should probably sit this one out, right?

Yes. That would be wise.

And while I'm there, you should probably
figure out everything you own,

because this is not good for us.

This makes people not like us.

I'm on it.

That's not gonna work.
That ladder's not long enough.

Come on in. Hi.

Hi.

Thank you so much
for looking over this stuff.

Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?
No, I'm an accountant.

I get super jazzed up
about doing stuff like this.

"Jazzed up"?
Is that Gen Z slang I'm not familiar with?

No, but they're
definitely bringing it back.

-Got it.
-Yeah.

Okay, I have gone through all your assets,
and we have three piles here.

First pile are A-okay, normal companies.

-Okay, great.
-Okay.

Second pile are problems.

Oil, some weapons manufacturers

and, believe it or not,

you actually own most of the theme parks
in the Philippines.

-Oh, no. I definitely want to sell those.
-Agreed.

Now, the middle pile is
what I like to call "NMIs."

Okay, now, that stands for
"Need More Information."

It's just a little abbreviation
I came up with in my 30s.

"The Palmdale Gallery of Southwestern Art
and First American Heritage."

-Yeah.
-That sounds nice. What's wrong with that?

I'm a little worried
about "First American Heritage."

I see. Because it could be
"First American" as in Native American,

or it could be "First American"
as in "We're the first Americans!"

-Exactly.
-Okay. Let's go.

What?

That's the only way we'll know for sure,
is if we go and check it out ourselves.

Okay. But can I just leave the office
in the middle of the day?

Well, of course. I'm your boss, aren't I?

Okay. Yeah. I did bring my lunch,
but I guess I could bring it with me.

Oh, yeah.
You have a little lunch box. That's cute.

It's actually not a lunch box.
It is a weather-resistant cooler.

Yeah, they tested it in space.

-You sound really jazzed up about that.
-Now you're getting it.

-Let's go.
-Now you're getting it.

-Hey, Evie.
-Hi.

Audition scenes?

So, how are things in the Philippines?

Not great.

They finally got some firemen up there,
but now they're stuck too.

You left these in the printer.

Oh, no. Those aren't mine.

Yes, they are.

I have access to the printer log.
I know what everyone prints out.

Why didn't you tell me you were an actor?

This actually makes perfect sense.
I was like,

"This guy is way too handsome to not be
on screen or at least leading a cult."

Okay, fine. I did a little bit of acting
when I first got here,

but then I got this great job with Molly
and I left it all behind,

like a kid you leave at Target, okay?

Of course I think about it sometimes,
but I'm never going back there.

I think you should audition.
I mean, this play looks legit.

Sounds like it's about a dead dad,
and that always works.

No. Sometimes I like
to print out the audition scenes,

but I never actually go.

It's a small part. It doesn't matter.

It's dumb. Don't worry about it.

Are you sure?

Okay. This isn't too bad.
Nothing problematic.

It looks okay to me.
But I don't know a ton about art.

Nobody does.

You know the secret?

You just walk around squinting
like everything's really interesting.

Really?

-This one's not too bad actually.
-Really?

Yeah, I mean, look at it. It's huge.

And it's got all the Southwestern hits.

You know, you got the sunset and the cacti

and the rock formations.

What more could you ask for?

What's your favorite?

I like this one.

Seriously? All these paintings
and you pick that tiny little bird?

Yeah. I've always liked birds.

They're just these beautiful,
perfectly made little creatures.

And normally,
you only get a second of that beauty

because you know they're gonna fly away.

-Sorry. That was cheesy.
-No.

That wasn't bad.

All right, I'm gonna go hit the bathrooms,
make sure there are no r*cist toilets.

Good call.

-Excuse me. Do you work here?
-Yes. Can I help you with anything?

Yes, I'd like to talk to you
about that bird painting.

Okay.

Hey. Why don't you check out
this fun video I found?

Okay, but if it's that panda and a dog
that are friends, I've already seen it.

I've got a date with Kristin,
but I'm still so sweaty from the big game.

Try AXE body spray.

I think Kristin likes it.

And so does her sister.

AXE body spray.
You'll be b*ating them off.

How did you find this?

I thought they had to take it down
after the lawsuit.

You can't show that video to anyone, ever.

Okay. Is that ad a problematic reflection
of our attitudes towards women

in the not-so-distant past?

Yes.

But are you good in it? Also yes.

I mean, come on. You're a great actor.

You got the skills. You got the bod.

I didn't know it till you walked by me,
but you even got the butt.

I mean, this should be a no-brainer.

You just-- Try the script with me.
Just once.

Just give me that.

"Trevor, look at me.

You're nothing like your father.

I know I've only been with you
since the election,

but I know that you are a kind,
compassionate, beautiful person.

That's why I--

I didn't want to do it like this,
but f*ck it.

Will you marry me?"

Goose bumps.

With Council Member Saldana's
recent support,

I truly feel this is the time to place
this housing complex on the agenda

for the next city council meeting.

Our unhoused community
urgently needs it now.

Thank you for your comments.

Before you go, I just had a question
about your boss Molly Wells.

Just to address
the roller coaster situation,

that's all being taken care of.

That's good to know. I'm just wondering
about her day-to-day involvement

with the foundation.

Molly is certainly important,

but my team and I are
really the ones on point.

But if she's working at the foundation,

she'll be involved in this project,
correct?

We haven't discussed that yet.

As I said, we can--

I, for one, wouldn't mind seeing her
come to a meeting.

I think what she's doing as someone
in her position is really admirable.

Okay, so I have to ask.

Was this some sort of
weird exotic animal trading thing?

Definitely not.

This was an anniversary present.

John missed our dinner for work

-and knew I liked alpaca sweaters…
-Wow.

…and decided to buy this farm

to make up for that.

So, just typical marriage stuff.

-Yeah.
-Got it.

Oh, great. Thank you.

Think I'll keep this place too.

Nothing bad happening.
Just a bunch of adorable animals.

Yeah, they really are beautiful,
aren't they?

-Oh, my God. She's checking you out.
-Oh, no.

Oh, gosh. What do I do?

Do I go over there?

I think you're gonna blow it, man.
Just be cool.

Is it too expected that my first date
after my divorce is with an alpaca?

If you don't mind me asking,
what did happen between you and your ex?

No, I mean, to be honest,
it's really not that great of a story.

No one cheated.
No one was embezzling money.

We just kind of grew apart.

We started doing more and more things
on our own.

I did a lot of hiking and bird-watching,

and she got into ballroom dancing
and an entire ballroom dancing lifestyle.

-Oh, no.
-Yeah.

It eventually just got to a point
where we were, I don't know,

more comfortable apart
than we were together.

So, just a regular old boring divorce.

It still doesn't make it
any less painful though.

No, you're right.

But we're good now.

It's not so bad being on your own.

Like, I can go on a hike for hours
and nobody wonders where I am.

-Oh, my God.
-Yeah.

That sounds so sad.

Yeah. I realized it as soon as I said it.

Don't worry.

Sometimes I turn on the news and pretend
George Stephanopoulos is my husband.

-That's pretty dark.
-Then, if I've had a glass of wine,

I change the channel
and pretend Lester Holt is my sidepiece.

-I took my mom as my date to a wedding.
-Oh, no!

-Yeah.
-Why didn't you just not go?

Something I realized
during "Back That Azz Up".

-Oh, sh**t.
-What is it?

My wife-- ex-wife is stuck at work.

She's asking if I can take our daughter
to her soccer game.

-And what's the problem?
-Well, we're four hours away.

I mean, I would never get there in time.

Well, we're four hours away by car.

What do you want from me, Lucas?

It doesn't matter what I do.

It's never enough!

I want you to be there for me.

This whole time you thought you were
running away

from the ghost of your father, the mayor,
but you were running away from me.

That's not fair.

Fair's got nothing to do with it.

I guess the engagement's off.

g*dd*mn, that was powerful, man!

That did feel really good, yeah.

It was good.

I mean, I swear, halfway through,
I didn't even see Nicholas.

All I saw was Lucas Takahashi,
wounded romantic.

Thanks. Do you wanna run it again?

Well, yeah, if you want to.

But, if I can tell you the truth,
you're ready.

Ready for what?

-For your audition.
-You still think I should go to that.

No, I know you should go.

I mean, you're gonna
crush that audition, Nicholas.

Or should I say, Lucas?

That roller coaster thing
was not her fault.

That was her husband's fault.
You know what? I think he's slimy.

Also, your boss is
in such a fascinating position

as a billionaire
who also happens to be a woman of color.

That's a lot of responsibility.
But she's handling it well.

Yes, she is handling it well, sometimes.

It just seems like she gets it.

She just seems down.

Right.

That's what I think of Molly,
a very down… chick.

-I knew it.
-You said that.

Listen, we all can agree
that Molly is amazing,

and she's really invested in the unhoused.

She'd be so happy
to see this move forward.

Dad?

I can't believe this is my life right now.

-Arden's gonna be so f*cking jealous.
-Alex! Language. Come on.

Sorry. I'm just so excited!

-Thank you for doing this.
-Of course. It's no big deal.

Do you want me to take one for you?

-I think she's good.
-Yeah.

No, I actually already booked that one,
and it is recurring.

No, I'm not too worried about it.

I've worked with this director before, so…

And if anything,
I'm on hold for that other gig.

So, if I don't book this,
we're still booked and busy.

I'm not too worried.

Okay, Nicholas.

Oh, my gosh, guys!

She said we can take it
to Cold Stone after!

It was so much fun!

You should see them
when I show up in my Corolla.

Same reaction?

Bigger, definitely.

You want to stay for the game?

Sure. Why not?

All right.

Hey. Sorry. I'm Nicholas. I think
I was supposed to be here a while ago.

Yeah, we--
Well, we could take you now.

-Are you ready?
-Yeah.

All right. Let's go.

Any news on the roller coaster?

Oh, yeah. They got 'em all out last night.

-Thank God!
-Yeah, and zero injuries.

They're giving them all season passes.

So, how did the meeting go yesterday?

It actually went great.

The city council's gonna put it into vote.
That's the first time that's happened.

-It's a big win.
-That's amazing. Congratulations.

What changed?

Believe it or not, you.
They brought you up in the meeting.

Oh, no.

They saw that everyone pooped themselves
on what is technically my roller coaster?

Molly, they all really like you. I think
it's because of what happened to you.

People are really rooting for you, which…

I understand, because so am I.

Look at us.

Two new besties.

But we still need to be careful.
You're a public figure.

People love a celebrity,
but they love to tear them down even more.

-You're absolutely right about that.
-Yeah.

So just keep that in mind
before you do literally anything.

-I will.
-Okay.

For example,
never go to a Halloween party.

Never put on a costume of any kind.

Of course. You got it.

Bye, bestie.

This makes so much sense.

Her rising sign and his moon
are so compatible. It's so sweet.

-Oh, Jesus.
-What are you guys looking at?

-What the f*ck?
-Listen, it's fine.

I'm gonna make some calls,

and we'll say that he won a contest
to spend time with you.

Cousin Molly, why would you do this?
You don't have to date Arthur.

You've got so much money,
you could buy any man.

I mean, you could get Chris Hemsworth,
Liam Hemsworth.

They'd probably make you a whole
new Hemsworth, give him a Gosling head.

I am not dating Arthur.

What are you guys looking at?

-What is this?
-I had no idea these were taken.

Don't worry.
They didn't publish the nudes.

There aren't any nudes!

Everyone, listen up!

Just so there's no confusion.

Yesterday, Arthur was helping me
go through some of my business holdings,

and it was strictly a work thing,
all right?

There was nothing romantic about it,
period.

Yeah, Molly was just doing me a favor

and giving me a ride
to my daughter's soccer game. That's it.

Yeah, so just ignore all of that.
There's nothing going on.

Everyone get back to work on their files
or whatever.

-Hey, you wanted to see me?
-Yes. Come in.

So, I wanted to say I'm sorry.

The paparazzi are the worst,
and I shouldn't have dragged you

-and your daughter into this.
-No, not at all.

Alex is still raving about you.

And I think people are overreacting.
Those photos are so innocent, you know?

Although, I do hope
that the alpaca doesn't see them,

because my chances with her
would be ruined.

Just, as your boss, I wouldn't want people
to get the wrong idea.

I think I get in enough trouble as it is.

Right.

All right, well, I guess
I will get back to work now, boss.

Oh, yeah.

Okay. Thank you.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.