01x03 - Jacob

[bunniefuu]

[LIGHTER FLICKS]

[SNIFFS]

[BELLS JINGLE]

Hello?

Is someone in here?

I-I have bat... and a Taser,

and-and I know Krav Maga, so...

[SIGHS]

[EXHALING SHARPLY]

What the hell?

[CRUNCHING LOUDLY]

Okay.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

Yes. Jesus.

[SIGHS]

[WHOOSHES]

[SCOFFS, CHUCKLES]

Yeah, okay.

[BELLS JINGLE]

Jacob, what the hell is this?

I don't know. It's like
a video game or something.

Where did it come from?

I-I don't know. You don't know?

What do you mean you don't know?
Weren't you here, stocking shelves?

Yeah, definitely. I just
had my headphones on, but...

You were here the whole time?

Yeah.

So, it just appeared like magic?

Yeah.

"Discover your life potential."

You think people might
actually use this thing?

[SCOFFS]

Yeah.

[BEAU] Yeah, apparently, Principal
Pat had been there for an hour.

Yeah. She could've d*ed
if Jacob hadn't found her.

Hey-oh, the hero's here! I gotta go.

- Hey. [GRUNTS, CHUCKLES]
- Okay. All right.

Shouldn't you be at work?

I don't know. Should people
who quit their jobs be at work?

- What?
- Yeah, man. You inspired me.

You're running around
saving people's lives,

and here I am, driving a Zamboni
in circles for a sh*t wage.

I'm not saving people's
lives. I dialed .

At most, I should be praised
for knowing how to use a phone.

Hey, Jake, check it out.

I made you... [CHUCKLES] ... a face.

[INHALES SHARPLY] Just
like your mom used to.

Except we didn't have
onions, so I used celery.

And the eggs are past the
sell-by date, but they smell fine.

- You don't have to eat 'em...
- Okay.

- [GRUNTS, INHALES SHARPLY]
- [EXHALES SHARPLY]

All right, what's going on, Dad?

Why are you making breakfast
and conversation with me?

- Why are you calling me "Jake"?
- Because, Jacob.

Look, I know... [INHALES SHARPLY]

... that you and I aren't...
[SIGHS] ... super tight.

And I know that you've had to
pick up a lot of slack around here

for a long time, but I'm
gonna step up my game now.

Uh, I-I don't really think I need that.

- [INHALES SHARPLY]
- I should get to school.

- Cool. But hey, Sport...
- No.

With this whole Principal Pat thing,

I just wanted to say...

awesome.

All right.

[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

- [APPLAUSE]
- [STUDENT] Yeah!

[CHEERING]

Dude, why'd you save the
principal? Fricking nerd!

I'm just kidding, man. I'm just
kidding. I fricking adore you.

[DUSTY] All right, everybody just...

Let's give Jacob a chance to settle in.

I'm sure that we all know by now
what was written on Jacob's card.

And I know that a lot
of you are very excited,

because it seems like he's
fulfilled his "potential."

[CHUCKLES] But this is a history class.

I happen to think that we can
learn things from history. [GRUNTS]

Let's talk about what would happen

if the MORPHO machine existed
at some key historical moments.

Okay, Rita. You are Abraham Lincoln,

and you're about to start your law
practice in Springfield, Illinois.

- Okay.
- [DUSTY] Or are you?

Because I am the MORPHO machine,

and I have given you
a card that tells you

your potential is actually to be...

- "Candy maker."
- So now the question is, Mr. Lincoln,

do you pursue a career making
sour worms and lollipops,

or do you continue your trajectory
of setting up a law practice

and becoming the most influential
president in American history?

I guess I become a lawyer?

Of course you do.

He'd still be alive though.

- What?
- Lincoln.

No one would've assassinated
him for being a candy maker.

America would've missed out

on a pretty great
president, don't you think?

Isn't it true that in his Peoria
speech, it was Lincoln's position

to force slaves to leave America
if and when they were freed?

[STUDENT ] Uh-huh.

You know, strictly speaking, this
is a European history class, Rita,

so let's just try and
stay on that lesson plan.

Um, Savannah. Would Henry I
have signed the Treaty of Alton

if the MORPHO machine had told
him that he was supposed to be a...

I don't know, a janitor?

We never got to the Treaty of Alton.

You keep doing lectures
about the MORPHO.

I bring it up because
I see a lot of people

diving into whatever a
machine tells them to do,

instead of really thinking
about the consequences.

Didn't you get "Teacher"?

And aren't you... teaching right now?

- [STUDENT ] Yeah.
- I'm trying to.

Okay.

Let's tr... I've got
a surprise for you guys.

We gonna watch another movie?

No, we are not watching another movie.

I'm gonna make a little call to
someone you know... [CHUCKLES]

... who will have some interesting
thoughts on the MORPHO machine,

- I would've thought.
- [LINE RINGING]

Okay. I probably should've dialed
her in before announcing it, but...

Oh, no, hold it. Hey...

- Hello, Principal Pat! How are you feeling?
- Better than I look,

which isn't saying
much, I know. [CHUCKLES]

[CHUCKLES] You look fine.

Listen, I'm so sorry to
hear about your accident,

which was brought about because

you were recklessly
pursuing your potential.

Do you wanna talk us
through what happened?

Well, you all know what happened, Dusty.

Jacob Kovac saved my dang life.

Yep... Yeah, okay, but right
before that happened, what happened?

Well, I was pursuing my potential

and having the time of my life.

[INHALES DEEPLY] Ooh, I can't
wait to get back on my bike.

[LAUGHS]

But, no, in the meantime,

I have Mr. Malik here
keeping me company.

[CHUCKLES]

- Hello, students!
- Hello.

[PRINCIPAL PAT] The only pain I'm
in is the pain of missing the first

homecoming basketball game tonight.

The doctor says I'm in no condition
to do my dunk off the trampoline.

Oh, no, that's such a shame.

That's always the highlight of
the pre-game festivities for me,

and now we're all gonna miss out,
simply because you pursued your...

Wait a minute. I have an idea.

What if my hero, Jacob,
does the dunk in my place?

Hell, yeah! My boy Jacob! It'd
be like a tribute to his brother.

[STAMMERS] Except he
could actually dunk,

and you'll be using a trampoline.

You want me to embarrass myself
in front of the entire school?

It's what Kolton would have wanted.

[HEARTBEAT THUMPING]

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[HEARTBEAT CONTINUES]

Hey, Jacob.

I just wanted to say how amazing it was,

what you did for Principal Pat.

- It really is like destiny or something.
- It's really not. [SNIFFS]

Where's your next class?
I can walk with you.

[DISTORTED] Unless
you're not going to class?

I don't actually...
[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]

I'm not. [BREATHING HEAVILY]

Yeah, I... [BREATHES SHAKILY]

I have to go practice
for ch... uh, chess club.

- You're in chess club?
- No, not yet.

So that's why I gotta go practice.

He's so f*cking hot. Right?

You're asking me if my dead
boyfriend's identical twin is hot?

Sorry.

I guess that was insensitive.

Are you going to the game tonight?

I mean, obviously.

I'm in the band. We're
doing a tribute to Kolton.

Sorry.

I feel like I keep saying
the wrong thing to you.

No, um, I'm... I'm sorry.

Today is just really, really weird.

[STAMMERS] You can
say whatever you want.

Okay.

I think I might try out for chess.

So...

What can I do you for, Jacob?

Well, I've been, uh, feeling a
little short of breath sometimes.

Uh-huh.

Uh, any big stresses in
your life at the moment?

Um... I guess, maybe.

Why don't you tell me what's
wrong, and we can figure it out?

- Um, okay. [CHUCKLES]
- Okay.

Well, um, my mom d*ed a few years ago.

But, uh, I was barely
able to process it,

because I had to hold my family together

'cause my dad got super depressed.

Though he'd never admit it
because he's in denial, but...

I basically had to be the parent
for me and my twin brother,

and then he d*ed in a car
accident a few months ago,

which is also something I
can't talk to my dad about

because of his inability
to talk about anything real.

Which makes it feel like I'm
suffocating in my own house.

Which is a big reason I
smoke a sh*t-ton of weed,

and then I get a MORPHO
card that says I'm a hero,

but I definitely don't feel like a hero,

because I barely did
anything for Principal Pat.

And I can't possibly be
a hero like my brother,

which makes me feel
like a complete impostor.

You know?

Wow.

I feel exactly the same way.

What?

I just finished med school, and
now I'm running a medical office.

I'm not ready for this.

I have impostor syndrome,
just like you said.

I mean, that's just one
of many things I said.

But... But I-I'm sure
you're good at what you do.

[SIGHS] I mean, I thought
I was, till I got this.

Yeah, that's less than ideal, but...

It's freaking me out.

When patients come
in, my mind goes blank.

All medical knowledge
just flies out the window.

If I see something I don't
recognize, I just say, "It's nothing."

It's really bad.

[SMACKS LIPS]

So, what should I do
about my panic att*cks?

Well, as I said, my
mind is literally blank,

but if you figure something
out, please let me know.

Okay?

Okay.

[BEAU] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta break away. We gotta
find you a new man. [CHUCKLES]

One more, one more. Yes! Oh, great move!

- Hey...
- Jake. Jacob. Look who stopped by.

Yeah. I came over to see
how your dad was doing.

'Cause of the tribute
to Kolton at the game.

So thoughtful, right?

I told her she should
stop by whenever she wants.

And she told me you're
doing the dunk tonight!

You kidding me?

My hero-boy doing the dunk?

Yeah. I'm super stoked about it.

What's happening here?

Well, since I quit my
job... I quit my job.

I thought I'd get things accomplished.

And look at all this
great stuff I'm finding.

- Look at this thing, huh?
- [BELL DINGS]

Yeah, I'm really starting to see
the benefits of your unemployment.

Look, I found a bunch
of Kolton's old stuff.

Kolton's jersey.

You wanna wear it for the
dunk? As a tribute to Kolton?

[LAUGHS] I don't think
that's a good idea.

I-I don't even wanna do the dunk, Da...

You're gonna be great. Isn't he?

Come on. I can teach
you. [BREATHES SHAKILY]

I don't have a trampoline,
but I can build you a ramp.

I'm gonna chop up some wood.

[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]

If it makes you feel any better,
I don't think anyone expects you

to, like, get the ball in.

Principal Pat never misses.

[STAMMERS] No... Okay.

I've been watching videos of
her dunks, and it's like...

Mm-hmm.

- [CROWD CHEERING]
- Okay.

She got a slow start, but...

[BALL CLANKS]

- [PEOPLE AT BASKETBALL GAME CHEERING]
- Wow!

- She actually gets some serious air.
- Insane air.

You're not actually gonna
wear that to the game, are you?

I mean,

it's the first time I've heard my dad

say Kolton's name since he d*ed, so...

I feel like I don't wanna
shut him down right now.

Yeah.

I'm just glad he didn't ask
me to wear Kolton's jockstrap.

Yeah, I don't think you actually
need a jock for basketball, but, uh...

Okay. I didn't know
you were such an expert.

Maybe you should do it.

Wear Kolton's jock? I'd be honored.

All right. Pinot for the lady.

[CASS] Yeah.

- And a ginger ale for the man of God.
- Thank you.

- Yeah.
- Wait, hold up. Hana. Hold up.

Hana's new in town. She doesn't
quite know what's going on.

No, I think I get it.

You guys all get drunk and go
to your kids' basketball games.

- [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
- Yes.

Actually, I'm going as
an alumnus this evening.

I played a little hoop back in my
day, on top of hockey and track...

I was on the team too.

And Cass was there.
Always cheering me on.

I was a cheerleader, so
I cheered on everyone.

- Ah.
- I just cheered for Jason Rodriguez.

Remember? He had that tattoo
of an eagle on his pelvic mound.

- [FRIEND] Oh, God.
- On his pelvic mound?

I'll admit. I love a man with a tattoo.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHS] You love a guy with a tattoo?

Okay, Cassie. Note to self.
Hey, remember senior year, uh...

Father Reuben, you weren't there.

So, you might like to know that
legend has it, and the legend is true

that your boy scored a
half-court buzzer-beater.

Yeah, nothing but net.

Mmm. Sounds like something worth
holding on to decades later.

- Didn't we lose that game?
- Yes, we did. By a lot.

Yeah. Dusty had a clear view of
the scoreboard from the bench.

- Oh.
- I got some time...

But nobody remembers the score, Big D.

They just remember the man and the ball.

[CHUCKLES]

Anyway. Enough about my triumphs.

I wanna guess everybody's MORPHO card.

- Mmm.
- Let's not do that. We don't wanna.

- Okay, I'm gonna clear these glasses.
- Well, obviously yours is "Party Pooper."

But no, seriously, let
me guess, bro. Yours is...

Your potential is
"Man." Or "Generic Man."

I got "Teacher Whistler."

Yes. And in my opinion,

- the best teacher whistler in town.
- Hmm. [WHISTLES]

Boring. Okay. Nat, you're next.

Definitely got "Storyteller."

Oh. [CHUCKLES] Who told you?

[CHUCKLES] Father Reuben.
"Priest," obviously.

Actually, I haven't used the
machine, and I don't plan to.

[DUSTY] That's probably smart.

Because if you don't get
"Priest," people won't trust you.

Because the machine knows
everything apparently.

[CHUCKLES]

I bet you'd get "Priest," Father.

Save those two bucks for
something else. Now, Cass.

- Mm-hmm.
- Cass, Cass, Cassie, Cass. My Cass.

Okay. My initial thought is something
like "Model" or "Movie Star."

Maybe even "Goddess." But I feel
like it might be more specific.

Can you just guess, so
we can go to the game?

Hold on. It's gonna take
me a second to figure out

what the smartest, most
beautiful woman in town got.

But I'm stumped. Is
"Perfection" a potential?

No, but let me help you out.

- Because I got "Royalty."
- [NAT GASPS] Yay!

Of course, dude. That makes
complete and total sense to me.

Also, I would really like one of those.

- I can make you one. I made that one.
- Yes, but mine is gonna say "Superstar,"

which actually pairs very well with
"Royalty," if you think about it.

But... [INHALES SHARPLY] ...
what I'm confused about, though,

is how "Teacher" and
"Royalty" make sense together?

Oh, "Teacher/Whistler."

They make sense together because
we make sense together, which is why

- we've been together for years.
- Three... Yeah.

And also, those cards, they do
not tell you everything, okay?

Because "Teacher Whistler"
is not necessarily

all that Dusty is or can be.

- So, there.
- [GIORGIO] Oh, really?

Then be something else, Big D.

- Can we get some wings?
- Yeah.

[NAT] Yes, wings. That's a good idea.

[CROWD CHEERING]

[THROUGH SPEAKERS] Good
evening, Hooves fans,

or should I say, "Welcome, Hoovers!"

[CHEERING, WHISTLING]

[THROUGH SPEAKERS] Now,
as we welcome you back

to another great season...

[CLEARS THROAT] ... I am proud
to announce that tonight's game

is dedicated to the
memory of Kolton Kovac.

Kolton wasn't just the
captain of our team,

he was the captain of our hearts.

- He was quite simply, an angel.
- [JACOB SCOFFS]

Which is why, tonight, the
Deerfield High Marching Band

will be performing "Angel"
by Shaggy, featuring Rayvon.

Oh, f*ck.

[CROWD CHEERING]

["ANGEL" PLAYING]

Okay. We gotta go. Who's
gonna finish the hot wings?

I'll get in on it. [CHUCKLES]

Oh. No, careful, Cassie.
They're hot wings.

[CHUCKLES] So?

Well, since when do you like hot wings?

Since always.

What? [CHUCKLES] We
always get honey garlic.

Because you like honey garlic.

Oh, no. I didn't mean to start
something. Please don't fight, you guys.

Look, I've always liked spicy stuff.

It was just, you know, you really, um...

you really went off
the deep end that time

we ordered medium salsa by accident.

- Well, my tongue nearly b*rned off, so...
- Which is why we always get honey garlic.

You guys are gonna miss the tip-off.

I will get the check. You should go.

Aren't you coming, Father?

I'm not much of a sports fan, so...

- Oh. Thank you.
- [DUSTY] Bless you.

You're gonna have the
bar to yourself, Father.

You might even have the
whole town to yourself.

- Be a good boy, Father.
- [LAUGHS]

Come on, Hoovers! Game time, baby!

Let's get this! Go, Hooves, go!

[IMITATES DRUMS] Go, Hooves, go!

- Go, Hooves, go!
- Wow.

- [CHUCKLES] Thank you.
- Figured you need this.

After five minutes with
Giorgio, anyone would.

Oh, I actually like him. He's
super grounded and humble.

Speaks at the appropriate volume.

He's an inspiration.

- Just incredible.
- Mmm. [CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS DEEPLY]

- [CROWD CHEERING]
- [CHEERLEADERS CHANTING]

Hey.

How'd practice with your dad go?

Um... [SIGHS]

Bad enough that I guess
he decided not to come.

We were supposed to meet here, but...

That sucks.

Well, if it makes you feel any better,

I think my parents missed my
big sousaphone performance.

Uh, that was amazing, by the way.

The, um... the big sousaphone was,

you know, definitely my favorite part.

Thanks.

It's not a "bigger" sousaphone.

Got it. It's a "big"
performance. Normal sousaphone.

Coach Eagleson originally
wanted us to play "It Wasn't Me."

Then I managed to talk
him down to "Angel,"

which still doesn't make any sense.

It's about this guy who has
trouble being monogamous.

You can't blame Coach Eagleson. I
mean, Kolton was a huge Shaggy fan.

Yeah. Total Shag head.

Shouldn't you be playing right now?

You know how heavy this thing is?

I don't think anyone
will notice. Or care.

[BAND PLAYING]

Ooh, Trina's gonna be so mad.
Do you see her? Do you see her?

Why would she be mad? She hates
when we come to her concerts.

Well, you told me that
the game started at :.

Yeah, well, you told me that you
liked honey and garlic wings, so...

Oh, my God. Dusty.

I like different kinds of
wings. Is that such a big deal?

It wouldn't have been a
big deal if you told me

at some point in our relationship.

I just went on thinking that you
were my honey and garlic girl.

But no, no. You like spicy
food and tattooed men.

What do I find out next?

You also enjoy meth?

Oh, no. You found my meth?

[GIORGIO] Okay. Let's go,
slowpokes! The game's about to start.

Clear the court. Respect the players.

- Come on, "alumnuses," over here!
- [CHUCKLES]

Uh... Oh, Cass. I hope people don't
notice us in our funky sweatshirts.

Whoo-hoo! I hope that
they do. [CHUCKLES]

Now, I would've ordered
hot wings if I'd known.

Or at least half and half.

It's just... How am I supposed to know

that you want something
different if you don't tell me?

Well, I'm telling you now.

And that's gotta be a good thing, right?

I mean, we can still
surprise each other.

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

Let's go, Hooves!

- Go, Hooves! Whoo!
- Let's go, Hooves! Let's get it, Hooves!

[INHALES DEEPLY, SIGHS]

Something good, I hope?

Are you kidding me?

As if we needed any more
proof that this thing works.

I'm gonna get my camera.

And now, because Principal
Pat couldn't be here tonight,

to perform the ceremonial opening
dunk, Deerfield High's own hero,

and Kolton Kovac's loving
brother, Jacob Kovac!

[CROWD CHEERING]

- Yeah, go, Jacob!
- Let's go, Jacob!

[AXEL] Come on! Let's go! Whoo! Jacob!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

They're making Jacob do the dunk?

How is that even a thing?

[STAMMERS] It's supposed
to be for charity.

Principal Pat said
she'd give a , bucks

to the school library if she missed,

- and she's never missed.
- Oh.

Which is why our
library is just terrible.

Oh, my gosh. Poor thing.
He's probably freaking out.

- We have to show him that we love him.
- Right.

[GRUNTS]

- Cass, what are you doing?
- Yes, Cassie.

Everything you do is amazing.

Hi. Sorry, Coach. Hey. [CHUCKLES]

He-Hey! Hey! Deerfield! [CHUCKLES]

Whoo! [CHUCKLES]

All right, guys. Let's show our guy
some love and some support, yeah?

All right, let's go! Let's go.

- Kovac! Kovac! Kovac! Kovac! Kovac! Kovac!
- [CROWD CHANTING] Kovac! Kovac!

[CHANTING CONTINUES]

- Kovac! Kovac!
- Kovac!

Kovac!

[CHANTING CONTINUES]

- [HORN BLOWS, FADES]
- [CHANTING FADES]

[HEARTBEAT THUMPING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Let's go, Jacob! Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Game time! [INHALES SHARPLY]

So you want me to throw this to
you when you hit the trampoline?

I don't think I need to add any steps.

Oh, okay. [LAUGHS] But listen to me.

People are gonna think
that you can't do this...

- Oh, I know I can't do this.
- [WHISPERS] You've got this.

Okay.

You got it.

[GASPS]

- [EXHALES SHARPLY]
- Where did that come from?

I don't know. I was just feeling myself.

[LAUGHS]

Go, Jacob!

[CHEERING CONTINUES]

[CHEERING FADES]

[MOUTHING] You got this.

- [CROWD GASPS]
- No!

[COUGHS]

- [WHISPERING] Not good.
- He's moving. He's moving. Um...

We just got $, for
the library, so... Hey!

- [LAUGHS] -
[CHUCKLING] Mm-hmm.

Books! Books!

- Books! Books! Books! Books! Books!
- Books! Books! Books! Books!

- Books!
- [CASS] Nope. Nobody cares about books.

- Okay.
- Um... [PANTS] Kovac!

- Kovac! Kovac!
- Kovac! Kovac! Kovac!

- Kovac! Kovac! Kovac!
- [CROWD CHANTING] Kovac! Kovac!

[CHANTING CONTINUES]

[HORN BLOWS]

- [CHANTING CONTINUES]
- [HEARTBEAT THUMPING]

[HORN BLOWS]

- [CHEERING FADES]
- [THUMPING INTENSIFIES]

[TRINA SIGHS]

[CHUCKLES] I thought we
said, "Never at school."

I know.

But after that... [SIGHS] ...
stunning display of athletic prowess,

how could I resist?

- Stunning.
- [CHUCKLES]

[LAUGHING]

[GROANS, GRUNTING]

[SOBBING]

[SOBBING CONTINUES]