02x07 - Ad Man

[bunniefuu]

[upbeat instrumental
music plays]

Yo, what's up? It's Lil Yachty,
from Atlanta, Georgia.

Um, the thing what got me
into, you know,

taking this rap thing
serious was,

you know, growing up,
my mom worked two jobs,

and wanted to, you know,
live above for once,

you know, you know,
provide for my family,

so I think
that's what really drove me

to, you know,
take this thing serious.

[trills] You already know
the vibes.

Your boy Desiigner,
New York City.

And what really made me take
my career serious was, you know,

when I was , I got sh*t.

For me, I was
in the streets, wilin',

doing things
I wasn't supposed to do, so,

seen a vision,
and I started following it,

and here I am today. No kizzy.

Hey. Lil Dicky. I'm from
Cheltenham, Pennsylvania,

which is the first suburb
right outside of Philadelphia.

It's, like,
a stone's throw away, honestly.

Two minute drive,
you're in... in the city.

My childhood was ideal.
Like, I was very loved

and respected
by my friends and family...

How's it look?
Does he look too Jewish?

DAVE:
Well, maybe I shouldn't
say "ideal" actually.

-Think it's a little late
to be asking that.
-GATA: Too Jewish?

He don't even got the sh*t
on his head or nothing.

There was a lot of body trauma,
if I'm being honest with you,

a couple of procedures
I wish I could have back,

a second cr*ck at it,
but you live and you learn,

um, as they say, and...

Anyways, I went to college,
uh, University of Richmond,

and I graduated as the
marketing student of the year.

And actually, Businessweek
ranked my undergraduate program

as the number-one undergraduate
marketing program in America.

So by the transitive property,

I was incredibly
well-positioned.

And I got a job
at an ad agency.

And it was cool.

Like, uh, you know,
but it just, like...

I've always felt like
I was the one, genuinely.

So, I went for it,
and here I am.

What was the question, again?

You doing commercials?

Yeah, I-I have, like,
ten commercials on TV.

Brrra. Geek geek!

Yeah. Can we actually, uh,
not put that part in the edit?

Um, who do I need
to talk to about that?

Uh, I'd actually love to...

Just because I'm very,
like, careful

about how
I do my branding and...

Oh, that's great.

-♪ Bound♪
-♪ Bound♪

♪ Bound♪

♪ Bound to fall in love♪

♪ Bound...♪

Hey. Hey.

-Hey!
-♪ Boun...♪

-It's just me.
-Oh. Hi.

Did you switch chairs with me?

-Uh...
-Uh...

You could interpret it that way.

-Give it back.
-Okay.

-Slugs.
-[imitating Mike Tyson]:
My back is broken.

-Well, you know.
-Spinal.

-Mike Tyson?
-I have no idea
what that reference is.

What you got for me?

-TD Ameritrade?
-Mm-hmm.

Sure.
Let me pull up my list.

Okay, so I've got one idea.

-Just one?
-It's the best idea

probably that's ever
come out of this building, so...

-Okay, let's hear it.
-Would you be interested
in hearing

-an idea like that?
-I would love to hear your idea.

Great. Imagine driving
down the street, right?

You look up,
you see a billboard.

But there's a human being
strapped to it.

Like, actually up, strapped.

-Mm-hmm.
-And it just says.
"Strapped for cash?

-TD Ameritrade."
-Mm-hmm.

It's clean, it's simple,
it's newsworthy.

I think, like,
reporters would report.

It's an online brokerage firm.

They're not buying
anything funny.

I don't know.
I chose not

to have any inhibitions
and dream big.

Like, I'm not putting any
unnecessary limitations on this.

The limitations are necessary,
or you're just wasting time.

-Okay, number two on the list.
-Mm-hmm.

If you were to hear me say,
"I'm d*ck-fingering a girl,"

in a song,
how would you interpret that?

-That you're a loser?
-'Cause every song's about sex.

-I've never heard
such unique phrasing.
-Yeah, but no guy

has ever said,
"I want to d*ck-finger you."

Bingo. Exactly.
Why would...

That's-that's first mover
advantage. Oh!

I figured out my rap name.

Oh, my God, what is it?

Well, take a moment
and really absorb this,

because you're probably
gonna, like,

replay this moment
a couple dozen times.

-Tell me.
-Call me...

Norm Bender.

Norm... Bender?

Yeah, like, my...
as if my name were Norman.

-MAN: Yo, Burd.
-'Cause I bend norms at every...

-Burd.
-I'm Norm Bender.

Yo, here, here. Look.

-You done Chatroulette yet?
-Oh, yeah. Huh.

-I think I've seen this before.
-Is this-is this...

-This is a global...
-Yeah. You, like, connect

with a bunch of different
people all over the world.

-It's, uh...
-Oh I... Ew.
-Oh, wow.

-Uh, yeah. Sorry. Yeah.
-Guy's d*ck is made of meat.

-There's a lot of dicks on this.
-Hey, what do you need from us?

-Let's cream. Uh...
-Hold on. Hold on.

-Uh, here we go. Here we go.
-Lower my voice.

Well, they keep nexting us,

but I'm ready to make him cream.

-Mm. Yup.
-Oh.

-Hello, sir.
-Oh, hi.

Hey, how's it going?

DAVE:
Just hanging... out.

Are you... my father?

-MAN: Um... I don't think so.
-[laughter]

-Nice.
-Ah.

-MAN: Okay.
-DAVE: That's funny.
-Hey, chubby.

MAN:
Just working from home.

-Looking for people to talk to.
-EMMA: sh*t. Jeff.

[clears throat]

DAVE:
So we should work hard
at this task.

-Did he see us?
-Mm, I don't know.

-It's fine.
-I don't know. I'm not...

Guys, I've done coke
with one of the partners

at the holiday party.

I'm not gonna say who, but

-trust me, we're good. It's...
-I've never done coke, but...

-I'm on Adderall.
-Ah, nice. Can I get some?

Can't do it. My mom made me
promise not to give any away.

Got it.
Got it, got it, got it.

-Dave.
-Of course.

What about "of course"?

"TD Ameritrade. Of course."

-Of course not.
-Well...

Maybe just think
of it differently.

Like, what kind of movies
do you like?

Uh, Warner Brothers?
They're the most consistent.

-Never mind.
-[phone dings]

Wow! Kanye's new album
just dropped. Yeezusis here.

-Yeezusis here?
-Yeah, isn't that the best title

you've ever heard? That's such
a Kanye title. I love it.

-Yeezus.
-So arrogant
and lacking self-awareness.

Very Kanye.

What on God's green earth

-are you even talking about?
-[laughs]

If Kanye wasn't that way,
he would never be Kanye.

He wouldn't even be a rapper.

This is gonna hit me
at the perfect time.

Every time I listen to him,
it's like

there's nothing in my way
and I can achieve all my dreams.

Aw.
Is the world in your way?

You got to understand
I have always felt

like I was the biggest star
on the planet.

-You?
-Yeah, me. I used to watch
The Truman Show

and think that that was me--
that everyone was watching me

because I was, like, destined

to provide entertainment
for everybody.

And I still feel that way,
and I'm gonna go for it fully.

I'm just waiting on the moment
for my boat to hit the wall,

like at the end of the movie?

So you've always
been delusional?

-Or I've always said
-Or...

that I can live with failure,
but I can't live with what-ifs.

It must be nice
to live in a world

where dreams
don't have to be dreams.

Guys, seriously?
How am I still here right now

and you're playing
f*cking basketball?

EMMA:
Sorry, Stephen.
We're so sorry.

Our bad, big dog.

-[scoffs]
-That's... Mm.

Did you just
call our boss big dog?

I did, but it doesn't
really matter.

In five years, he's gonna
be remembering the time

he had this conversation with me
when I was wasting

my national treasure of a brain
on TD Ameritrade.

This f*cking sucks.
This must be exactly

what Kanye felt like
when he worked at the Gap.

I've hit a wall.
I got to go home.

You want to head out?

I think I got a little bit more
left in me,

so I'm just gonna stick around,
but I'll see you tomorrow.

All right.
Good night, Slug.

-Good night. Love you.
-Love you.

♪ Blood on the leaves♪

♪ I just need
to clear my mind now♪

♪ It's been racin'
since the summertime♪

-♪ Leaves♪
-♪ Now I'm holdin' down
the summer now♪

-♪ Leaves♪
♪ And all I want
is what I can't buy now♪

-♪ Blood on the leaves♪
-♪ 'Cause I♪

♪ Ain't got the money
on me right now♪

♪ And I told you to wait♪

-♪ Leaves♪
-♪ Yeah, I told you to wait♪

-♪ Leaves♪
-Would be lost without me♪

-♪ We could've been somebody♪
-♪ Strange fruit♪

-♪ Hanging♪
-♪ Thought you'd be different
'bout it♪

♪ We could've been somebody♪

♪ 'Stead you had
to tell somebody♪

♪ Let's take it back
to the first party.♪

[indistinct chatter]

♪ Got a couple bars
I don't even rap♪

♪ Any party,
pull up hella tardy♪

♪ Hypin' up the crowd
like I'm Rick and Morty♪

Can't wait for this to be over.

-I'm so stressed
about this cypher.
-GATA: What?!

LD, you just made
the XXLFreshman list.

You used to dream about
that type of sh*t.

And you got bars.
Ain't nobody spittin' like you.

If you want, there's a barber.

You can get a haircut
if that's... Does that help?

I don't understand how
we haven't gotten the b*at yet.

Like, how am I supposed
to know how to rap

if I don't know
what we're rapping over?

Look around. You made it.

If I would've told you this
back in the cube...

-♪ My d*ck sucks,
my d*ck sucks...♪
-f*ck.

GATA:
What? This is my song.

-Song's so old.
-This is my sh*t
right here, bro.

-♪ My d*ck sucks...♪
-GATA: LD?

We don't have to hear
any more of this.

Everyone's heard this before.

Yeah, you doing some funny sh*t
tomorrow, Lil Dicky?

I don't think so, Lil Yachty.

-I feel like... I don't know.
-DAVE EAST: f*ck this sh*t.

I'm putting up my sh*t.

Power move.

-Yeah.
-DAVE: I respect that.

That's what it f*cking
sound like, no doubt.

-Yeah.
-Oh.

I respect you.

Uh, hey, we went to University
of Richmond together,

believe it or not.

-Same year. Yeah.
-Seriously?

-Yeah.
-I don't remember you at all.

Yeah, uh, we probably had,
you know,

drastically different
social groups.

-I got kicked out
my freshman year.
-I know.

-It was, like...
-You made it through?

I did. I made it all the way.
I graduated.

I was actually
the student of my year.

-That's what's up.
-Uh, but I remember

when you got kicked out because
you were on the basketball team,

and it make me so upset
because the team--

I, like, had such hopes
for that team.

And, like, you were a big part
of that puzzle,

so when you got kicked out,

it was, like, very...
uh, it was a bummer for me.

-Uh.
-Obviously, I was upset

for you as a man, primarily.

Your underwear is exposed.

♪ Me and S-Game at the X Games♪

♪ Bitch blowing up my phone
playing text games♪

♪ OGE life on my neck, man...♪

Yo, are you, like,
Lil Dicky girlfriend

or something like that?

Oh, hell, no.
He wishes.

-I just film him.
-Oh, you film?

Oh, well, sh*t,
I'm looking for a new director

of my music video myself, 'cause

the last dude-- trash.
You boot, man.

No, I just do it for fun,

-not for real.
-Oh.

I made his logos, though.

That's cool.

Can I get at those Takis,
though?

-Yeah. Sorry.
-Thanks.

♪ OGE got b*tches
on top of b*tches♪

♪ I ain't talkin'
two or three, I'm talkin'...♪

Okay, look at you, over here
networking with Denzel Curry,

connecting the dots.
That's what I'm trying to do.

Yeah, I wouldn't
call that networking.

Why not? Look where we at.
I'm trying to get a verse

from one of these rappers,
I need a manager and publicist.

I'm trying to make something
shake out here, Emma.

No, I'm not trying
to be thirsty, you know?

I'm not thirsty. I'm just
hungry. Man, I got to eat.

Like, for real, don't be afraid.

-I...
-Dada!

Where your, like,
monitor, supervisor?

Like, who...
Nobody watching you, brah?

I feel you, though, man. I used
to be just like you-- young,

out here, lost, fresh, wiggling,
man, like, for real, man.

I used to be a kid, too, myself.

But it's gonna
be all right, man.

Just keep your head up,
little homie.

-You gonna be straight.
-WOMAN: Damian?!

[babbles]

Sorry about that, y'all.

♪ Mucho D,
n*gg*s trash b*tches♪

♪ OGE life, n*gga, n*gga,
ass b*tches♪

Damn. That's motivation
right there. Real sh*t.

But I'm about to go get
this Desiigner verse, though.

You see me? I'm out here suited
and booted. I got to get it.

-♪ Tell 'em come through♪
-♪ No, I know♪

♪ The party poppin'
over here, poppin'.♪

STEPHEN:
Uh-huh. Yeah.
No, yeah, I get it,

but we need someone
who knows this world.

Huh? Her? I...

I would not put her on it, no.

Yeah, maybe Dan. I could work
with Dan, sure. All right.

I need you guys to help me out
with some TV spots.

What do you say?

-TV?
-Yeah.
-Great.

John and Vicky are out
of the office this week,

so can you guys work
on the Mountain Dew campaign?

-We absolutely can.
-Yeah.

-All right.
-Great.

We've got an internal
with Jeff tomorrow,

so, uh, why don't we circle back
in the A.M. Cool?

-Yeah.
-Oh, yes, I'd love
to meet Jeff.

Have you guys ever done TV?

-No.
-Not yet.
-Well,

hopefully you'll do better
than your Eagles did

against my New York
football Giants last week.

Oh, my God. We literally
had our third-string

quarterback out there.
We were totally under...

How are you bragging about that?
Get a grip.

I bet you guys wish
you had Julio Jones.

He's on my fantasy team.

He's, like, leading the league
in YAC yards, so...

-She's a Falcons fan.
-STEPHEN: Well, actually,

YAC yards
is kind of like saying,

"yards after catch yards."

-So...
-Oh.

-It's true.
-STEPHEN: Anyway, I will

sh**t Dave the brief,

and you guys'll
be off and running.

-sh**t it to me.
-Yeah.
-Can you cc me?

-Yeah. I can just
-Or...

-forward it, whatever's clever.
-Yeah. Just forward it.

DAVE:
We are gonna k*ll
this f*ckin'... Ooh, sorry.

But we're gonna k*ll this thing.

-Do it. Do it.
-Thank you.

You won't regret it. Thank you.

Mountain Dew.
Mountain Dew. Dew, Dew.

Dew, Dew. Doo-doo.

Hey, I got a buddy who loves
sh1tting in the mall.

What's his favorite movie?

What?

Paul Fart: Mall Poop.

Dave, it's way too late
for that.

There's people out here,
by the way.

Can we, like...
This is a little crazy.

I thought
you were a competitor.

I want to see
what these doofuses got.

See what we're up against.

Well...
Mountain Dewfus.

I'm excited
to get in front of Jeff.

That guy's got
such a presence to him.

Well, that's what happens
when you own an ad agency.

Ooh, let me check
Adrian's office.

Why do you care
so much about this?

-It's like trash digging or...
-Because making commercials is

so much cooler
than dumb-ass billboards.

I've been waiting
over a year to make TV spots.

So if you could do
whatever you want in life,

you would, what,
make Super Bowl commercials?

If I could do anything,
I'd direct movies.

What? How have I never
heard this before?

Just don't feel like
it's a real job.

What do you mean?
It's definitely a real job.

Every movie you see
has a director.

I understand how it works, Dave.

It's just % of directors
don't make it.

Yeah, but what if
you're the one...

-Can you just help me?
-Don't be such a buzzkill.

This is, like,
a rebellious brand, you know.

You got to, like,
unleash me here.

You'd be surprised what they're
probably capable of doing.

Please allow me
to unleash my inner Kanye

on this f*cking sh*t.

Okay.

Okay.

What?

So I'd be rapping,
rapping, rapping.

Swagger, charisma,
all of that, hopefully.

Go around, I guess,
over and over

until the song is done.
I don't know.

But don't think all these people
will have to, like,

turn their heads to see you?

I didn't think about that.

I think
you should go under the table.

It'll be so sick.
Come through here.

-Like, crawl?
-Yeah, and then, like, rap here,

rap here, and then you'll be
in the middle performing.

-Crawl.
-You want me to crawl under
the table in front of Jeff?

Yeah. Look, here. I'll show you
'cause you can't see.

I'm rapping. I'm rapping.
You have no idea what I'm doing.

-And I sh**t through the table
like a rat.
-Yeah.

-And down.
-And I'm up here,
and then there.

Wow. And then I'm here, and then
everyone's staring at me.

-Then head over here.
-Yeah. Then I could even,

-uh, high-five people
if I wanted to.
-[laughing]: Yes.

-Is that... How does it look?
-Yes. Cut.

-Cut.
-Look.

Oh, that's way sicker.

-Right?
-Yeah, I like that a lot.

And then I'll design
some awesome graphics on the TV.

-Slug?
-Yeah.

Will you direct my real
music videos when I make them

when I'm a real rapper?

Definitely, Slug.

Hey, but don't get too ex...
Oh, you're giving me a hug?

-Yeah.
-Aw.

Don't get too excited, okay?

It's gonna be an all-nighter.
So write your rap

and I'll work on the visuals.

-All-nighter?
-Yup.

I've never pulled
one of those before.

-Ever?
-Ever. The latest
I've ever stayed up-- : a.m.

New York City, am I right?

f*ck. They got strip clubs
out there.

-Yup.
-Got one night to write a rap.

-That's fine. I thrive
in the face of pressure.
-Yeah.

I better drink some f*cking
Mountain Dew if I'm gonna...

-Caffeinated. Go for it.
-The...

-Oh, my God!
-[groans]

You're supposed to do that
with an empty can.

-Are you okay?
-Yeah, I'm fine.
Please, I can't be touched.

MIKE:
Hey, Sherry, just following up
to see if we can get that b*at

for the cypher
because LD is big on prep.

It's just not something we do.
We never give it out

in advance.

Yeah, I hear that,
but, um, you know,

think about, like,
today, culturally.

That might be, like, a past
type of way of thinking.

You know, like, shouldn't we be,
like, uplifting everyone

and celebrating this talent
and showcase it,

not pitting everyone,
uh, at odds?

Especially with, uh,
social, uh, ongoings

and, like, the, you know,
uh, like, today?

MIKE:
Sherry, you know what?
We really just want

to be prepared,
and it's not a competition,

so if we get the b*at early,
everybody wins.

This is a competition.
That's the point of it.

Look, a lot of times,

people just use verses
from unreleased songs.

Hey, you know what?
That's cool,

but I don't really
have any unreleased verses,

you know?
So that's just not something

I can tap into, unfortunately,
and if I could,

I probably wouldn't be,
like, revealing it

for a the first time, over a
b*at I never heard, to America.

-You know what I mean?
-See you tomorrow, Dave.

-So if we can just talk about...
-[hangs up]

f*ck!

Great. I'm gonna be up the
entire night writing some verse

that can fit over any b*at,
tempo that's ever existed.

Bro, that's what rappers do,
bro. You got it. Game six.

Seven. It's seven, Gata.
Who said six?

-That's...
What are you talking about?
-f*ck.

Oh, nah.
He closing out in six, bro.

Icons can do anything.
Jordan played baseball.

You know what I'm saying?
Bo Jackson did it all.

-You got it.
-Ants.

It's gonna work out
like it always does.

You're born
to do this, remember?

♪

[humming softly]

Black coffee, almond milk
for the all-night woman.

Black coffee can't have milk.

What am I adding
the milk to, then?

Coffee.

It feels racial.

Want to know another fun fact?

I've never actually rapped
in front of anybody before.

-Like, ever.
-Wait. Are you nervous?

Uh, look, I don't know.
f*ck.

Jeff's, like,
an intimidating guy, and, uh,

this is all coming
kind of quickly,

and I just want
to make sure I'm ready...

Dave, if you want
to be a rapper,

you're gonna have
to do this eventually.

Might as well pop your cherry
in front of a bunch

of white dudes who won't even
know what's cool or not.

-It's gonna be cool.
-You're gonna be fine.

-Absolutely. I got it.
-You got this.

Speaking of which...
Stephen,

we got quite the pitch
for Mountain Dew today.

-Yes, we do.
-Oh, f*ck. I'm sorry.

Um, John and Vicky actually
sent some stuff in.

Aren't they on vacation?

Yeah. Yeah,
they are f*ckin' rock stars.

Anyway, um, we've got enough
manpower on Dew,

so, uh, why don't you guys
get back to work on TDA?

Whoa, whoa, so we're not doing
any TV commercials?

Can we just give you
the elevator pitch?

Don't even worry about it.

Just TDA, guys. Thanks.

f*ck this f*cking place.

sh*t.

Long night last night?

-Yeah.
-Oh, uh,

I think I just saw your father
in conference room two.

Sony's here.

Everybody's Asian. It's crazy.
[chuckles]

[chuckles]

-Slug?
-Mm.

Let's win
the Mountain Dew pitch today.

Did you just, like,
snort Adderall?

We're not even in the meeting.

So what?
Let's just f*cking crash it.

Who cares?

Just went in ther...
You can't... That's not...

-That would never fly.
-Aren't you the one

who said you can live with
failure, not with what-ifs?

That was I.

-Their tagline is "Do the Dew."
-It is.

-I feel it.
-They're all about doing.

We got to just...
do it, you know?

You're treading into
Nike territory, but f*ck yeah,

-I'm down. How do we... Let's...
-f*ck yeah.

-f*ck, that's a...
I love that sh*t.
-Let's f*cking f*ck it up!

-Exactly. [grunts]
-Do you have the music?
Okay. That's a lot,

but, yes, uh, I'm ready.
Uh...

-Ready?
-Let's go!

♪

♪ I left out of school
without mama's permission...♪

Bro, you didn't tell me they had
DJ Drama here today, bro.

You know it's about
to go up, bro.

You got to snap, dawg, for real.

You know who that is, right?

MIKE:
Gata, he doesn't need
the pressure right now, man.

-Just...
-GATA: He bust again?

MIKE:
I know, bro, but not now.

♪ I stand but now
I'm the type of n*gga...♪

Hey.

♪ I ain't got to dump,
twelve o'clock in the whip♪

♪ Looking for the trunk,
and you can't fake the funk♪

-Oh... Oh.
-♪ p*stol attached to a n*gga
like breast lumps♪

♪ Lot on the black pump,
pumping on t*nk three♪

♪ : in the morning,
I'm half-asleep...♪

[phone dings]

-[whispering]: Check your phone.
-What?

Check your phone.
I was just flirting with the DJ.

I texted you the b*at.

♪ Income and the getting
the bag, though♪

♪ I'm through the back door
with my main bitch♪

♪ Can't get caught
with my side ho♪

♪ I got Bape on...♪

You're welcome.

♪ Bring the bricks
on the high low♪

♪ This bitch only five, four
but her throat♪

♪ Feel like
it's seven feet deep♪

♪ She sucking d*ck
with a blindfold♪

♪ Made me disappear
like my weed♪

♪ I'm going in, bitch,
it's guaranteed...♪

Hey, Gata, I want to direct
one of your videos.

You serious?

But you know I ain't got no
money for no music video, Emma.

That's fine.
I just want to do sh*t.

-You for real?
-Yeah.

Oh, sh*t! This about to up
my gander, like, for real.

This is big-time.
Like, top-tier.

You really about
to do this sh*t for me?

-Yeah.
-Hey, where's Lil Dicky?

-I don't know.
-I'm not even sure.

Anyone got eyes on Dicky?

[pulsing b*at playing]

New crib. New crib. New crib.

♪ Chop, and you
know that, boy♪

♪ New crib
doesn't have a driveway♪

♪ Still pulling out
when I f*ck by the fireplace♪

♪ I might be
hip-hop Ryan Gosling♪

♪ I don't want to think about
it, it's just too exhausting♪

♪ Kissin' on your baby
like the boy politician♪

♪ Out tough sh*t,
overcooked chicken♪

♪ Hoppin' out the Lyft,
no tippin', I'm rich♪

♪ So sick, getting' blown,
I'm just makin' a wish, uh♪

♪ Show out,
only that you and I alike♪

♪ Pronouns, girls want
to go out, white, snowout♪

♪ Hair's so straight,
blow out♪

♪ Touchdown score,
no toe out♪

♪ Run around the telly,
bein' loud as f*ck♪

♪ Maid stop comin' back,
turn down for what?♪

♪ Name hotter than
a motherfuckin' crowded bus♪

♪ That Lil Dicky
gotXXL, huh?♪

Yes!

♪

Hey, Dave, keep in mind,

your clothes are really dark,
so don't lose your light.

-Every rapper has a spotlight.
-I'm gonna do it
how I'm gonna do it.

I have to.

♪

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
Rolling. Quiet, y'all.

-MAN: Still rolling sound.
-GATA: Don't worry,

he good, he got this.
That's what he do.

They can't spit like him.
He gonna be good.

-ASSISTANT DIRECTOR:
Dave East, you're up.
-Here I come.

k*ll that sh*t, Dave.

Y'all ready.
Let's do this sh*t.

[pulsing b*at playing]

♪ Chop, and you
know that, boy♪

♪

Yo, this slow-ass b*at
ain't it, man.

-LIL YACHTY: You playin', man.
-DESIIGNER: Hey, yo this sh*t.

-DAVE EAST: That's wack. Wack.
-DENZEL: Speed it up, bro.

I got a different one. I got-
I got something else. Here.

DENZEL:
Let's do that. Let's do that.

Oh, I need something else.

-Yeah.
-[lively b*at playing]

DAVE EAST:
Yeah.

Thank you, man.

Uh, one, two.
One, two. One, two.

♪ Yo, not the one
up in the sky♪

♪ Till the day that I die...♪

♪ I'm the best rapper alive.♪

[applause, cheering]

LIL YACHTY:
Don't play with him, bro.

[indistinct chatter]

-Hey.
-[whoops]

-It's going out the end.
-That was really good.

-That was really good.
-DESIIGNER: Crazy.

Lil Dicky?

-Me?
-You're up.

-Okay.
-[lively b*at playing]

-k*ll that sh*t.
-DESIIGNER: Were you nervous?

[indistinct chatter]

-All right.
-Yeah, I'll take your word
for it, Dave.

DAVE:
♪ Yo♪

♪ New crib doesn't
have a driveway♪

♪ Still pulling out
when I f*ck♪

♪ By the fireplace♪

♪ I might be hip-hop
Ryan Gosling, I don't...♪

Hey, can we start that over?
Can we just run it back?

-Yup. Run that back.
-I got you.

-All right.
-[music stops]

[lively b*at resumes]

♪ New crib doesn't
have a driveway♪

♪ Still pulling out
when I f*ck...♪

Didn't do the vocal warmups
that I do.

[grunts]
Here we go, here we go.

♪ New crib doesn't have
a driveway♪

♪ Still pull out when I f*ck
by the fireplace, I might be♪

♪ Hip-hop Ryan Gosling,
I don't like to think♪

♪ About it, it's just too
exhausting, so fast, fast...♪

Start it over.
Start it over. Sorry.

I'm just trying to get the hang
of this new b*at.

[lively b*at playing]

[mumbling]

[mumbling]:
♪ Doesn't have a driveway,
doesn't have a f*ck...♪

Can you just don't
come so close? Thanks.

Can we go back to the... can we
go back to the-the first b*at?

-Uh...
-[music stops]

E-Everyone kind of
has to have the same one,

-otherwise it wouldn't
cut together.
-DAVE: Right.

And-and you won't do yours again
to the slower b*at, no?

-Nah, I'm good.
-Okay.

Adapt. Adapt. Adapt.
Play it, uh...

-Start it up. Start it up.
-[lively b*at playing]

[mumbling]: Why, why, why,
why, why, why, why?

STEPHEN:
Mountain Dew

is current, it's exciting,
it's iconic.

It's pure energy in a bottle.

Or-or a can. Yeah.
[chuckles]

That's why we're telling
the world to grab a Mountain Dew

and... charge up.
[chuckles softly]

Jeff, we're just
blue-skying right now, but, uh,

happy to hear your thoughts.
We can circle back at the...

Hold on.
There's one more.

-Wait, what are you...
-Trust me.

You guys are gonna love this.

STEPHEN:
I...

[rhythmic synthesizer b*at
playing]

Hi. Hello.
How's it going?

You guys are here for
the Mountain Dew pitch, right?

You can sit.
I figured it all out.

♪ Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew,
Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew♪

♪ Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew,
Mountain Dew♪

♪ Drink, chug, do the Dew,
aw, everyone♪

♪ Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew,
Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew♪

♪ Mountain Dew, Mountain Dew,
Mountain Dew♪

♪ What would you do to do
what you want? It's done♪

♪ Did you have a good time
listening to everybody's♪

♪ Silly ideas about soda?
Aw, man, party's over♪

♪ This is the closer, let me
just demonstrate this further♪

♪ Just imagine
there's a commercial♪

♪ And there's a rapper about
your work and he's all like♪

♪ Jill, would you like
a Mountain Dew?♪

♪ Steph, would you like
a Mountain Dew?♪

♪ Jeff, would you like
a Mountain Dew?♪

♪ Steve, I don't know about you,
I'm just kidding, but Jeff♪

♪ Look at the can, look at me
dance, look at the man♪

♪ Jeff, I'm looking pretty
on brand, they got supply♪

♪ They got supply♪

♪ Well, this is demand,
Jeff, uh♪

♪ The kids will post this
on the 'Gram♪

♪ Tag all their friends♪

♪ By the end of the night,
they'll be like "Sprite who?"♪

♪ We make up a dance,
man, where does it end?♪

♪ Dude, I got to try
to overthink it♪

♪ It's a m*therf*cking drink♪

♪ So let's put in the can,
great, done♪

♪ By the way, hi, I'm Dave♪

♪ While I have your attention♪

♪ I sit over there
in the cube, in the pit♪

♪ I'm a genius, I should
probably get more ops♪

♪ Underutilized as f*ck,
but I guess today it stops♪

♪ Maybe not, it depends♪

♪ If management
can open their eyes a little♪

♪ I'm just messing with Stephen,
but clearly, I'm a leader♪

♪ Of thought, no?♪

♪ Look what I've done♪

♪ Okay, I'm done.♪

You can stop it.
You can stop the music.

Stop the music, stop the music.

-[whooping]
-[music stops]

Thank you guys so much.

That was awesome.

You know what? Let's fast-track
this and lock in a rapper.

WOMAN:
I think he could
run point on that.

What's your name again?

Norm Bender.

It's Dave.
My name's Dave.

Okay, so, you... you prefer
Dave or Norm Bender?

Dave.

Oh, and give it up for Emma.

She did all the visuals.
Uh...

They're kind of cool, right?
Did you guys even see 'em?

♪ I might be hip-hop
Ryan Gosling♪

♪ I don't like to think
about it, too exhausting♪

♪ Only...♪
f*ck!

Sorry.

New crib, new...

♪ Kissing on your baby
like a politician♪

♪ I don't...♪
I'm sorry.

Okay, you know what?
I-I think we have enough

to stitch something out of it,
so you can just stop.

Can I just take five? I'm sorry.
I just need five minutes.

Thank you so much. I just need
five minutes. Thank you guys.

[mumbling]

♪

[sighs]