01x12 - The Emergency

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪



♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪


♪ It's time I made it to the top ♪


♪ Gimme a break, I'm looking forward ♪


♪ Get behind me, pull out every stop ♪


♪ I want a happy ending, I'm tired of pretending ♪


♪ Won't let 'em get the best of me ♪


♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa


♪ Gimme a break


♪ The game is survival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ And plan my arrival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ For heaven's sake


♪ What happened to my piece of the cake? ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break!


Julie, honey, please stop fidgeting


Before I acupuncture your knee.


Hi, chief.


What are you doing home in the middle of the afternoon?


I had a little accident teaching some of the rookies


How to ink the fingerprint pad.


Think you can get this stain out?


Yeah.


But I'll need a pair of scissors.


Well, anyway, I got to change my jacket.


You'd better change your shirt, too, daddy.


What are you doing there?


Nell's fitting my dress.


You making it even shorter?


Don't start, daddy.


Well, it is a little revealing, isn't it?


Oh, you mean because you can see her head and her feet?


I mean up there at the -- the -- the top...


And the bottom.


Chief, nancy reagan flashes more in church.


You're so old-fashioned.


I'm not old-fashioned.


As a matter of fact, I'm a pretty with-it guy.


I just don't like to see my daughter looking like a hussy.


Hold it, chief.


I don't think you can use words like "hussy" and "with it"


In the same sentence.


That's like putting a purple wig on walter cronkite.


Hi, daddy. Hi.


Great shirt. Thanks.


Hey, "love of lust" is almost on.


Oh, yeah. I missed it yesterday. Bring me up to date.


Um, andrea seduced jill's husband, link,


And took him to a motel.


That tramp.


A motel .


Cheap tramp.


Ah! It's on. It's on.


Linkohh, andrea.


Andrealink, I have to tell you something.


Yesterday I went to the doctor. I was six weeks late.


She was six weeks late for her doctor's appointment?


Samantha, chew your bubble gum.


Well...


I got to get back to work.


What's that trash you're watching?


Whatever happened to kermit and miss "porky"?


Frankly, chief, I don't give a oink.


Hi, dad. What are you doing home?


Changing my clothes. I got to go.


Nell, do we have anything for an upset stomach?


Yeah, but we're probably having it for dinner.


You don't feel well, honey?


No, my stomach's been bothering me a little.


Listen, honey.


You better take care of yourself.


Remember, you're my little girl.


Hey!


I thought I was your little girl.


You're all my little girls.


Aw, chief. I am touched.


Only some of us are not so little as others.


Well, I hope you feel better, honey.


Thanks, dad.


Nell?


In my room, honey.


Oh, listen, nell. I'd like dinner tonight at exactly .


What are we having?


Undone meat loaf, undone potatoes,


And some nice crispy alpo.


Well, with your cooking,


Nobody's gonna know the difference.


[ Door closes ]


Nell?


Did you find it, honey?


Nell, I don't feel very well.


What is it?


My stomach really feels bad.


Where does it hurt?


Oh. Ohh!


Wait a minute. Uh, julie, help me.


Oh, nell!


Call your father and tell him



I'm taking her to the emergency room, okay?


Nurse, is it gonna be much longer?


Just a moment.


You mean I got to wait to find out how long I got to wait?


Oh, honey. Sit down. Sit down here. Sit down here.


I'll be right back. I'm going to get you a doctor.


Nurse, could you please call me a doctor?


Okay, you're a doctor.


No, this kid here's sick.


Just a moment.


May I help you?


Your future health depends on it.


I want to see a doctor.


The doctor will look at her shortly.


Don't hold your breath.


Here's a form. Here's a pen.


And here's a fist.


Now, I want to see a doctor.


Is that a threat?


No, dear. It's a promise from me, the good-hands people.


Ugh!


Excuse me -- you with the headset.


Are you a doctor?


Yes, but I'm off duty.


Get your meter running because you got yourself a customer.


Hey, you can't do that.


Nurse, do me a favor. What?


Sit on a thermometer.


Can you help her?


Nell? Orderly!


Please, babe. You're gonna be okay.


We're going to take you inside and see what's wrong with you.


I'll be out here, okay?


Take her in the examination room.


Now, you'll have to stay out here. I'm sorry.


Woman on padr. Karo, surgery "c." Dr. Karo.


Why don't I save us both a lot of time?


Point me to the morgue,


And I'll crawl over there on my hands and knees.


Sorry about the blood I may spill on your floor.


If I live, I'll come back tomorrow and mop it up.


What do we do now?


Honey, we got to pray real hard, okay?


Nursemr. Corelli?


The doctor will see you now.


Oh, thank you.


You know, I just wanted to tell you.


If it wasn't for your face, you'd be very pretty.


I feel terrible.


Katie's sick, and I really did a crummy thing to her last week.


What did you do?


Well, you know that bra she was looking for?


Yeah?


I took it.


But I couldn't give it back


Because I stretched it all out of shape.


With what?


A rock.


[ Chuckles ]


I was using it as a slingshot.


Honey, come here.


Katie's going to be all right, okay?


Let's get a soda, okay?


Sure.


[ Sighs ]


Here.


That must be what you call a no-calorie soda.


Maybe it was thirsty.


There's a water fountain down the hall.


Water?


I hate water.


What?


Fish do bad things in it.


What are you talking about, samantha?


It's not their fault.


They don't have any bathrooms.


Well, drink it, anyway.


Get out of here. Go.


Doctor, how's katie?


She'll be just fine.


You sure? I mean, that's a relief.


It was fairly minor, but we'd like to keep her overnight


Just so we can keep an eye on her.


Why?


You can't be too careful in a case like this,


Especially with someone katie's age.


Now, in my opinion, she took too many unnecessary risks


Using an i.u.d. For birth control.


Why didn't I take that job with the osmonds?


Uh-huh. Yeah? [ Laughs ] mildred, you're kidding. Margie said that?


Lady? Lady?


Excuse me, mildred.


I'm on the phone.


You might have to have it surgically removed.


Just wait your turn.


Miss, please, please.


I have to call some worried people


And let them know that everything is all right.


Well, they can wait another minutes, can't they?


I mean, if they're really all that worried,



They're not gonna go out to a movie or anything, right?


Lady, I'm about to reach out and touch someone.


Just a second.


I'm back.


No, just some pushy woman.


Your doorbell?


Oh, sure, mildred. Go see who it is.


Oh, no. I'll wait.


No, no problem. Mm-hmm.


♪ Da da da da dee


♪ Hmm, hmm, hmmmm, da da da da ♪


♪ Da da da da dee


♪ Hmmmmm


♪ Dee dee dee dee dee da da ♪


Your purse, your purse.


Oh! Aah!


Hello, mildred?


Oh, girl, I hate your guts.


[ Laughs ]


Yeah, and I don't ever want to talk to you again.


Hello, julie? Honey, it's nell.


Relax, relax. She's okay.


Samantha's in there now.


Look, did you get ahold of your father?


Good. So he should be here any second. Okay.


Oh, that's great.


I get to break the news to him. I can hardly wait.


Yeah -- oh, here he comes now. Bye. Talk to you later.


What is it? What's wrong? Katie -- is she all right?


She is -- she's perfectly all right.


Just -- just relax.


Nell, if katie were perfectly all right, we wouldn't be here.


We'd be sitting at home having digel for dessert.


Now, what's wrong with her?


She's fine. Maybe you should sit down.


Sit down?


You don't tell someone to sit down when it's nothing serious,


Especially in a hospital.


Sitting down is for when it's serious.


Okay, keep standing if you want.


Maybe I better sit down.


What's wrong with my little girl?


Well, chief...


It's silly, really.


It turns out she's not sick after all.


And here we are, all upset.


One day we're going to look back at this and laugh.


Those of us who are still alive.


Come on, get to the point.


Okay, the point is, she's a girl --


I know. I used to change her diapers.


Chief...


How do you feel about birth control?


In your case, I'm all for it.


Now, come on, what's my daughter doing in the hospital?


Okay, she's having a problem with an i.u.d.


Nell, I'm a grown man. You don't have to spell.


Intrauterine device.


It prevents children.


From doing what?


Chief, katie is having a problem with...


A birth-control device.


Birth control?


Katie? I don't believe it.


Look, i-i know you're shocked.


I was shocked when I found out.


But listen, we both love her, and it's just something


We're just gonna have to deal with.


I can't.


Chief...


Look, your little girl is lying in there in a hospital bed.


Chief, please.


Don't you at least want to see her?


Hi, honey.


I dropped samantha back at the house,


And I thought you might like something to read,


So I brought you "movie confessions."


Thanks.


Come on. Look, hey, it's a terrific issue.


Look here.


"Benji and boomer, the sex scandal that rocked hollywood."


Nell, I'm sorry to be such a bother.


Aww.


Hey, you didn't eat your food.


I'm not hungry.


Well, honey, you have to try to eat something.


What is that?


I think it's some kind of meat.


How can you tell?


'Cause it's attached to all that fat.


Oh.


Well, baby, maybe you should eat


Some of the mashed potatoes before they get cold.


They --


Kind of lumpy, huh?


[ Chuckles ]


Come on, cheer up.


The doctor said you can go home tomorrow.


I know.


Baby, what's wrong?



Where's dad? Why isn't he here?


Oh, he was here.


Yeah, and I told him what happened,


And like any mature man who's faced with a real problem,


He walked out.


How could he do that?


Oh, honey, you know your father.


It takes him time to get used to new things.


The man still eats tv dinner in front of the radio.


In a way, I'm glad he's not here.


I wouldn't know what to tell him.


Honey, I think you're gonna have to tell him the truth.


The truth?


Yeah, the truth.


I can't do that.


Katie, honey...


You can't play at being a woman.


You got to be a woman.


That means accepting all the responsibilities --


Facing your father and telling him the truth.


[ Knock on door ]


I'm glad you made it. Visiting hours are almost over.


Yeah, I know.


The battle-ax downstairs


Read me my rights when I came in.


See? I told you he was here.


Told you.


Well...


I-i better get home.


You know, when I left,


Julie and samantha were making grilled-cheese sandwiches.


And you know the last time they made them,


They left those little plastic wrappers on the cheese.


I love you, okay?


Get some rest.


Okay.


Glad you came, chief.


Oh, um...


Can I offer you a little advice


Before you stick your foot in your mouth?


Well, you got someplace else you'd rather have me put it?


Bye.


Nice view.


What can you see?


Almost the whole parking lot.


There's a guy in a toyota just backed into a seville...


Ruined the toyota.


That serves him right, buying a foreign car.


So...


You okay?


I'm fine.


Doctor says you can come home tomorrow.


Nell told me.


Katie, how could you? Is this the way I raised you?


You're just a kid, a teeny little girl.


Dad, in some cultures I'd be married and have kids by now.


No, you wouldn't, 'cause I'd still be your father,


And we would have moved


To a more decent, respectable culture.


Dad, I didn't want to get pregnant.


Well, I can think of one foolproof way to avoid that.


It's not that simple.


Yes, it is.


Never have sex on the first date,


And never go out with anybody twice.


Dad, I'm sorry if you're upset.


Upset?!


Oh, I'm not upset.


Upset is when you bring home a "d" in algebra


Or when you play those pink floyd albums too loud.


I'm way past being upset. I'm moving in on berserk.


An i.u.d.


Dad, you act as if I'm the only woman to ever use an i.u.d.


You're not a woman. You're just a young girl.


A woman has maturity,


Sophistication, charge cards.


God, what would your mother say if she'd known?


She did know.


She what?


We talked about it.


Before she died, we talked about a lot of things.


Are you saying that your mother said that it was all right to --


That she knew about this?


She wasn't crazy about the idea,


But she knew she wasn't gonna be around.


Maybe mom didn't want me to wind up


With a baby I wasn't ready for.


Well, where was I while all this was going on?


How come nobody ever asked me?


'Cause we both knew how you'd react.


You're years old.


Dad, it happened.


I don't know.


Maybe I'm just old-fashioned, but when I was growing up,


There wasn't all this fooling around.


Kids didn't fool around,


Just older people.


That's what made growing up worthwhile.


Dad, it wasn't the way you think.


Sex was something special between two people.



It wasn't just a way to k*ll an evening,


Another cheap thrill.


Dad, it's not like what you're saying it is.


[ Crying ] dad, I'm not cheap.


I'm not --


Honey, i-i didn't mean that. It's just that...


You're so young.


Dad...


There's some things you can't protect me from.


I'm sorry if I hurt you,


But I can't stay your little girl forever.


Well, I don't mean forever...


Just for the next or years.


[ Sniffles ]


[ Bell dinging ]


Visiting hours are over.


Okay.


All right, all right.


Go down to the blood bank and suck on somebody's neck.


Look, katie, I know I can't live your life for you,


But that doesn't mean that I'm gonna keep my mouth shut


When I don't like what you're doing.


Dad! No, wait a minute. Let me finish.


All I can do is tell you that...


I love you,


And nothing will ever change that.


I love you, too.


[ Sniffling ]


Well, I better get going before the battle-ax comes back.


Thanks for coming.


Yeah.


Good night, daddy.


Good night, sweetheart.