02x12 - Love Kidney

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪



♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪


♪ It's time I made it to the top ♪


♪ Gimme a break, I'm looking forward ♪


♪ Get behind me, pull out every stop ♪


♪ I want a happy ending, I'm tired of pretending ♪


♪ Won't let 'em get the best of me ♪


♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa


♪ Gimme a break


♪ The game is survival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ And plan my arrival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ For heaven's sake


♪ What happened to my piece of the cake? ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Oh, gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Hey, gimme a break!


More.


Mildred please, ed, should you have seconds?


You know what the doctor said about eating too much sugar.


You're right. I used sweet 'n' low in my coffee.


It's funny how he eats now.


When he was a little boy, he was such a light eater.


Yeah, soon as it got light, he started to eat.


Better ease up on that cake, ed,


Before you wind up in your own mortuary.


Look at him, folks.


I'm years old


And he's still looking out for his baby brother.


Relax, carl.


We're gonna dance off some of this shortcake tonight.


What do you say I grab the old accordion, huh?


Accordion?


Oh, wow, it's almost . Boy, am I tired.


Hey!


Chief, I want to hit the sack.


We're gonna have a good time.


Everybody loves the accordion.


Yeah, especially us black folks.


We hear an instrument with that much soul,


We just go clean out of our minds.


Aw, come on, nell. We'll have some fun.


I'm so proud of my eddie.


You know, he learned to play the accordion by ear.


Yeah, till he was years old, he never used his fingers.


Grandpa, that's an old joke.


Yeah, about my age.


Come on, ed, hit it.


Right, pop.


[ Up-tempo music plays ]


I said "hit it," ed.


Eddie, hit it!


Pop, he's already playing!


Oh. Yeah.


I forgot to turn this up.


This is the ear your mother talks in.


Well, come on, mildred. Let's cut a rug, huh?


Come on, grandpa, shake a leg.


Afraid it would drop off.


Come on, samantha!


Dad, can't you make your stomach keep time with your feet?


Come on, nell, let's dance.


My hands may be busy, but my feet are all yours.


Just what I've always wanted -- polish feet.


I feel like a girl again.


You've got a good memory, mildred.


Hey!


Hey, I didn't know you were polish, nell!


Oh, that was fun.


Hey.


Ohh.


It's getting a little hot in here.


You better slow down, eddie. You're turning all red.


Yeah, you're sweating like a pig.


I'll be all right.


I just have to cool off a little bit.


[ Laughs ] excuse me, gertrude.


Ah, there.


I'm cooler already.


But I have tasted better water.


No wonder -- gertrude tinkles in there.


[ Laughs ]


He must really be thirsty.


Come on, eddie, that's enough.


Get your head out of there, you big lummox.


Julie daddy, I think something's wrong.


Mildred eddie!


Oh, my god! Someone call an ambulance.


What happened?


Ah, mr. Kanisky. I'm glad you are to waking up.


Me too. But where to am I waking up at?


Last thing I remember, I was sucking on a goldfish.


You are at st. Ambrose hospital.


I'm your doctor, dr. Singh.


Listen, uh, no offense, but, um,


You talk a little funny.


Where are you from?


Brooklyn.



[ Laughs ]


A little joke.


Actually, I am from bombay, india.


What happened to me, a little indigestion, huh?


No.


Your problem is bigger than a burp.


Your kidneys failed.


Well, how could that happen?


It's a combination of things.


Diabetes, high blood pressure,


And living your life like a total jackass.


What do I got to do?


Come in here every now and then


And get rinsed out by this machine?


In your case, mr. Kanisky, I'm sorry,


But I have to recommend a kidney transplant.


Transplant? That's a major operation.


I don't think I can do that right now.


Not to worry, mr. Kanisky. I've never lost a patient yet.


I know where each one is buried.


Well, I guess I don't have much choice.


Where's my new kidney coming from?


Your best chance is to get a kidney from a sibling,


Of which you have one -- your brother, carl.


He's waiting outside.


No, i-i couldn't ask carl for a kidney.


I couldn't ask anyone for that.


But he's the only one who can save your life.


But I can't ask him.


That is a very big decision.


Only you can make it.


Chief thank you, doc. I won't stay in there too long.


Carl.


Hey, big guy, how's it going?


I'm fine. Question is how you're doing.


Oh, super, carl. Just super.


Hey, uh, how's about the two of us sneaking out of this dump


And getting ourselves a couple of brews, huh?


Ed, the doctor says you're a pretty sick man.


Ah, what's he know?


He's got his turban tied too tight.


Come on, who are you kidding, eddie?


Can't you see that you're sick?


It's not me, carl. It's this place, this hospital.


It's full of needles and thermometers.


God help you if you turn your back in here.


Eddie, you've got to get used to slowing down.


Yeah, I know.


I got to start acting more like a mature adult,


A grown-up.


I guess it's time to put the old yo-yo in mothballs, huh?


[ Chuckles ]


No more whoopee cushions in the hearse.


Families didn't think they were funny anyhow.


Ah, who cares?


No more poker games till in the morning, either.


Nope. No more junk food.


Cigar smoke.


[ Chuckles ]


Hey, carl,


You remember the time we got ahold of pop's cigars,


Smoked them all, and got sick?


He put me over his knee.


You threw up all over his lap.


Oh, and, uh, I won't be stuffing my face


With pizza or hot dogs anymore


Like we used to do down at the sons of warsaw, remember?


[ Chuckles ]


Then we'd pick up a couple chicks


And take them over to the mortuary just for laughs.


You remember how they used to scream


When we'd set them down on the cold marble?


[ Laughs ]


You remember us taking the laminsky sisters


Out on the canoe?


Yeah, then when we got them out in the middle of the lake,


We told them we ran out of gas.


And they believed us and swam home!


[ Crying ]


What's the matter, eddie, huh? What is it?


I'm gonna die, carl. I'm gonna die!


No, no, no, no.


Help me.


Well, sure. Yeah. What can I do?


I...


I need, uh...


I need your kidney.


[ Brakes squeak ] dad's home.


[ Crashing ]


Sam, remember how you wished the mailbox


Was closer to the house?


Yeah?


Well, it's closer to the house.


Hi, chief. Thanks for bringing the mail in.


I'll fix this tomorrow.


How's ed doing?


Oh, he's doing fine.


Well, why isn't he home with you?


He's got to stay for a while longer in the hospital.


He needs a little operation.



That's all. I-it's no big deal.


What is it, carl?


What are they gonna do to my eddie?


Well, it's a simple thing. He needs a little transplant.


How do you like that?


The guy's kidneys are bad


And all he thinks about is his hair.


Grandpapa, I think what the chief is trying to say


Is eddie needs a new kidney.


Well, he can have one of mine. Mine work great,


Every minutes, in fact.


Oh, stanley, they don't want one of your kidneys.


Well, they better take what they can get.


Nothing else works down there.


Well, forget it, pop. I'm giving him one of mine.


No. Daddy, you can't do that.


Oh, my god. Dad.


I got no choice.


The doctors say that it'd work better with me


Than with anybody else.


Besides, it's no big deal these days.


It's just like having your tonsils out --


Only further south.


Well, actually, daddy, that's not quite true.


Quiet, julie.


Well, listen, not all of these transplants work.


If you're bucking for cheerleader,


You're not making it.


Dad, what's she talking about?


Listen, girls. It's getting pretty late.


Why don't we all just go upstairs and go to bed?


Daddy, this is dangerous.


A lot of people die during operations.


Uh, julie, dear, you keep flapping your lips like that,


I'm gonna put some krazy glue in your toothpaste.


Come on, honey. Everything is gonna be all right.


Yeah, listen. Look, I know we're all tired.


We've been under a strain lately,


You know, waiting up all night and watching,


And I think that nell is right.


Why don't we all get some rest, huh?


Dad, I'm scared.


There's nothing to be scared about.


Now, come on, off to bed, huh?


Come on, sam.


See what you did to your little sister?


I don't care, daddy.


I don't want to lose you.


And if you get mad at me


Just 'cause I don't want you risking your life,


Well, that's just too damn bad.


Oh, the poor kid.


Carl, it's all your fault --


Telling her ed's losing his hair.


Grandpapa, we are all losing something.


Not all of us, nell.


I think it's time we all hit the sack.


Well, that's a great idea, you sexy little thing,


But I've got to be getting home.


You shouldn't talk that way


In front of the old ball and chain.


Stanley, are you all right to drive?


I mean, you're not too tired or anything, are you?


Who, me? Ho ho, I'm fit as a fiddle.


I could drive to philadelphia without batting an eye.


Forget it. I'll drive.


You're sure, carl?


You're sure everything's all right?


Everything is gonna be all right.


There's gonna be -- it's just gonna be fine.


It's really going to be fine.


Nell, I want a simple funeral.


[ Laughs ]


Aw, chief, you're not going to die.


Once we go under the knife in there,


There's no telling what can happen --


To eddie or to me.


I want to ask you something.


Okay.


Look, if something goes wrong in there


And for some reason or other I don't come back,


I want you to take the kids.


What do you mean, "take" them?


I want them to be your kids.


I want you to bring them up.


What about, uh, grandma and grandpa --


They're your family.


Nell, they're too old.


I mean, they can barely take care of themselves.


Ma has to help pa put his teeth in.


Sometimes he gets them in backwards


And he bites his own tongue.


Besides, this is what margaret would want.


Chief...


You love them, don't you?


Of course I love them. I...


Don't let me down on this one.


You can't let them down.


You're all they've got.


All right. Well, okay.



Good.


'Cause I already put it in my will.


I thought you had to be of sound mind to make a will.


Come on, this is serious.


Now, you'll get the house, of course.


Oh, miss scarlet, you mean you're leaving me tara?


And there's my police pension.


Why don't you leave me your g*n,


Then I can go out and get some real money?


There's a small savings account at glen lawn savings bank.


Yeah, what about the money in your pockets?


It's all yours. And of course my bowling ball.


Yes, yes, your bowling ball.


I can always paint two eyes on that ball


And use it for a wig stand.


I better keep my body in shape.


I don't want to give my brother a pickled kidney.


[ Both laugh ]


Well, I better hit the sack.


Chief, one more thing. Um...


...you know nothing is going to happen to you.


I know that and you know that.


Because if something was going to happen to you,


We wouldn't be standing here talking like this.


I would be saying something stupid like, uh...


...if anything ever happened to you,


I would miss you.


But see, I didn't say it. I'm not going to say that.


Okay. I'll forget you said it.


All right. Good night.


Good night, nell.


[ Chief muttering in sleep ]


Dad, are you all right?


Samantha, what are you doing here?


Just watching you.


I had a hard time sleeping after all that stuff julie said.


Your sister and her big mouth.


Yeah. She's a real pain in my butt.


Dad, I know you love uncle ed,


But how could you do something like this?


I mean, you never even asked us.


Honey, sometimes you don't have any choice.


Uncle ed is my brother, and I got to help him.


But I'm scared.


Honey, you'd do the same thing. Come on.


I mean, suppose one of your sisters needed a kidney.


Which one?


Doesn't matter which one.


I mean, you'd still do the same thing.


I know. 'Cause that's what love is.


It's when you care enough about somebody


That you're willing to give up a part of yourself,


Maybe all of yourself for them.


Your uncle eddie needs a kidney


And I've got to give it to him.


Dad...


Can I sleep here tonight?


Come on.


Now let's get some rest, huh?


[ Door opens ]


Daddy, are you sleeping?


Well, I'm trying to.


Well, I was just on my way to the bathroom


When I thought I heard a noise.


But the bathroom's the other way.


Well, as long as I'm here, I might as well get in bed.


Hi, dad.


They sent me over from the fire department


To check for overcrowding.


Oh, I'm glad to see they're on their toes.


Well, it's good to see you. Why don't you join us, huh?


Come on in.


It is crowded, isn't it?


Julie we'll be okay as long as nell doesn't show up.


I heard that, girls.


Hi, I thought you might want some hot chocolate.


Oh, what a delightful surprise.


[ Bed creaks ]


Dr. Singh aha.


It's working.


It's working, it's working!


The kidney is working!


[ Cheering ]


I did it.


And I helped!


It gives me a good feeling


To know that there's a piece of me inside you


Making things work right for a change.


Now all he needs is a brain transplant.


I don't think woody woodpecker's gonna give his up.


Carl, I just want you to know


That I think this is the nicest gift you've ever given me,


And I'll think of you every time I use it.


Grandma, I'm going to miss your boys when they leave.


We have very much in common.


Ed you're right, doc.


[ Up-tempo music plays ]


I don't believe it.


Million indians,


And we wind up with ghangadinsky.



What the hell, let's dance.


Come on!