02x18 - Eddie Gets Married

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪



♪ Gimme a break, I sure deserve it ♪


♪ It's time I made it to the top ♪


♪ Gimme a break, I'm looking forward ♪


♪ Get behind me, pull out every stop ♪


♪ I want a happy ending, I'm tired of pretending ♪


♪ Won't let 'em get the best of me ♪


♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa


♪ Gimme a break


♪ The game is survival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ And plan my arrival


♪ Gimme a break


♪ For heaven's sake


♪ What happened to my piece of the cake? ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break!


[ Breathing heavily ]


[ Breathing heavily ]


What took you so long?


I've been sitting here for hours.


[ Breathing heavily ]


You cheated.


You took a shortcut through the alley


And jumped over baxter's wall and snuck under our fence.


How did you know?!


I was right behind you.


Did not!


I beat you, katie, and nell fair and square.


It's just that I have nothing on me that bounces up and down.


Well, if it isn't katie-come-lately.


Look, I could have beaten you both


If it wasn't for this guy I saw.


Just imagine paul newman's eyes and tom selleck's body.


No wonder you're so hot.


Where's nell?


Last time I saw her, she was running really fast


On chestnut street...


After an ice-cream truck.


Like I said...


There ain't nothing like jogging to keep in "shake."


I want you to hold this. Wait a minute.


Do I have to do everything around here?


What's wrong, dad?


Look at this!


My best tie, and it's got a huge gravy stain on it.


Chief, you got to start eating with a spoon.


Let me tie it for you, dad. I'll try to hide the stain.


Thank you. Okay.


It's going to be a little short, isn't it?


Dad, I'll bet your jacket will cover that.


Here, let me help you.


Hey, dad. Hold still.


I'll smooth down the hair that's sticking up.


Nothing beats spit to keep hair down.


[ Telephone rings ]


Hello?


It's for nell.


In that case, I'll leave so she can talk about me.


[ Sighs ]


Hello?


This is nell speaking. Who's calling?


Monica?


Monica of the doo-wop girls?


Girl! You mean the group's in town?


Well, what happened?


I ain't heard from you in years.


Did you find a dime?


Oh, honey. I'm just fine.


Tell me, are dolores and charlotte with you?


Yeah, I want to speak to her. Put her on the phone.


Eh, girl.


Oh, honey. I'm just fine.


Tell me, is this a pleasure trip or are you with your husband?


[ Laughing loudly ]


Yeah. Girl, I'm doing just fine.


Uh-huh.


Oh, I would love to see you. Oh, yes.


Please come over. The address is wells drive.


I can't wait to see you. [ Smooches ]


Okay? Bye.


And when she gets here,


I'm going to kick her where she can't see it


But sure will feel it when she's leaving.


Well, who are they?


The other doo-wop girls.


It's a group I used to sing with.


Why are you so mad at them?


Yeah, did they "doo" when they were supposed to "wop"?


Tell us what happened.


Unh-unh.


Come on. Come on.


Well, all right.


See, it all started years ago.


There were three of us.


There was me, monica, and dolores.


Oh, boy. We were a good group --


The doo-wop girls.



We shared everything from bobby pins to brassieres.


Brassieres?


Yeah, it took two of them to share one of mine.


What happened?


[ Sighs ] well...


See, back then they had this singer.


His name was wilson brown.


He was a star. He was real good.


And he was looking for some background singers,


So we went looking for the job.


Let's get it on!


Oh, please, mr. Brown,


I asked you not to spin in front of me.


It makes me dizzy.


I think nature beat me to it, baby.


What you think james brown


And wilson pickett are doing, huh?


They spinning! That's what they doing!


It adds a certain -- ow! Whoo! -- Charm to the act.


Ooh! Get down! Mercy!


You're going to drill yourself right into the ground.


With his luck, he'll strike oil.


Hi.


Hello.


My name is nell, and this is dolores and monica.


We're professionally known as the doo-wop girls.


The what?


Hit it, girls.


♪ Doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo ♪


♪ Doo-wop doo-wah doo-wah ♪


♪ Doo-wop doo-wah doo-wah ♪


♪ Doo-wop doo-wah doo-wah ♪


♪ Doo -- stop!


♪ Wop


I'm sorry, but you're not on my audition list,


And if you're not on my list,


You might as well slit your wrists.


Listen, mister or miss -- whatever the case may be...


Please, please let us have an audition with mr. Brown.


Please.


Look, lady. We got class.


We can sing and we can dance.


And, honey, I can...spin.


Please. Look.


If I want you to go through that door, you go.


If I don't, you don't go. And I don't, so go.


How would you like a fat lip to go?


No. Come on, come on.


No, no. We've had enough of this.


Stop! Stop! Wait! Wait!


We came here to audition for mr. Brown,


And I'm going to do it.


Now just smile and walk like me.


Mr. Brown? You stop that!


Brown stop what? Can't a man scratch in peace?


What's cooking?


We are the doo-wop girls.


Say what?!


That's right, coming to you courtesy of the intercom system.


Hit it, girls.


♪ Well, now, we're goin' to the chapel ♪


♪ And we're gonna get married


♪ Goin' to the chapel, and we're gonna get married ♪


♪ Gee, I really love you, and we're gonna get married ♪


♪ Goin' to the chapel of love... ♪


Ow! Get down!


I like it!


Whoo! Those bells just rang my chimes!


I'm sorry, mr. Brown. I tried to stop them --


Whoa. Put a knot in your throat so I can hear this!


Whoo!


♪ ...goin' to the chapel of love ♪


Hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it, hold it.


Save that for the very best -- me.


[ Laughs ]


You are my new backup group.


Oh! Oh!


Oh! No, no. Ooh, where do we sign?


Wait. Now, wait a minute.


Before you go signing,


There's just one thing you got to do if you want this job.


Oh, tell us!


We'll do anything.


Get rid of the fat chick.


Okay. Ow! Yes!


He means you.


Fire nell?


No way we're going to fire nell!


Unh-unh. One for all...


And all for one! And all for one!


Thank you.


Nell's bus should be on the road about now.


Yeah, her buns should be halfway to biloxi.


I didn't think she'd fall for it.


I didn't think she was going to take that bus ticket


We bought for her.


Well, I knew she'd take the lunch.


I really feel like a rat,


Dumping nell and sneaking out of town with wilson brown.


I do, too, but we'll be some rich rats.



Help me pack. Come on.


Wilson's bus will be pulling up here any minute.


Where is charlotte?!


I don't know.


Did you make a new dress for her?


I altered nell's. Ooh.


Let me show you.


Doesn't that look great?


Girl, how'd you do that?!


I cut out nell's equator,


And I sewed it on to charlotte's south pole.


[ Laughs ]


[ Knock on door ]


That must be charlotte now. Oh, good.


Come on in, charlotte! Who's charlotte?


No one here by that name.


Nell!


Monica, it's nell. I thought you looked familiar.


[ Both laughing ]


Oh, goodness.


Nell, it can't be you.


Unh!


What happened?


[ Sighing ] oh, girl.


The bus was late, so then I sat down on the bench,


And I opened that lunch that you packed for me.


And, girl, I saw this spam sandwich.


And, girl, wow. I just have to tell you --


You have to be two of the most beautiful people


I ever met in my life.


I thought about the ticket


And you spending all your money on me --


All the money you had


And the money for the three of us to live on.


I just couldn't do it, so I came back.


Couldn't you have just sent us a thank-you note?


No, not after the way you stuck up for me


With that ol' wilson brown.


Listen, nell, if you hurry,


You can catch the next bus out, you know?


Honey, you can catch the train. Trains go there, too.


Catch a plane. It'll get you there even faster.


Or I can sh**t myself out of a cannon.


Oh, girl, how you think we gonna find a cannon...


To go off at this time of day?


Are you trying to get rid of me?


Ohh, I know.


You're expecting a couple of guys to come over here.


Uh-huh.


Ha ha ha!


Can't put nothing over on nell. Heh heh heh heh.


Don't worry about me. I'll just stay in the bedroom.


Uh, no. Not the bedroom.


Not the bedroom.


Oh. Ohh.


Silly me, silly me.


Silly you.


I'll just stay out here in the kitchen,


And I'll just bake while you shake.


No, no, no, nell.


Now, you know the motto we live by --


One for all and all for one.


And if they got a brother...


Save me one. Save me one. Save me one.


[ Laughter ]


Ohh.


You know what? I haven't had this on a while.


I'm going to try this on just to see...


No. You don't have to do that.


We can see you're skinny as a rail.


This is an awfully long glove.


Why do I get the feeling that this is thanksgiving


And I'm the turkey?


[ Knock on door ]


Hi! Hi.


Is this where dolores and monica live?


Yes, come on in.


Good. I thought I was late.


No, you're right on time.


Nell, this is charlotte. I know who that is.


Pleased to meet you, nell. Isn't this exciting?! Whoo!


Oh, yes, I haven't had this much excitement


Since I shaved my legs with easy-off.


[ Horn honking ]


Brown ow!


Oh, it's him! It's him!


I am so excited!


Oh, come on, girls. We got to go.


Imagine going on the road with wilson brown!


It's too bad you can't go with the group


Because of your operation.


Oh, yeah, I got to get that knife taken out of my back.


Okay.


[ Horn honking ]


Brown all right, girls! Get down!


Nell...


An opportunity like this only comes once in a lifetime.


[ Sighs ]


You're good, nell. You'll find another group.


Sure.



Maybe lawrence welk will let me be a bubble on his show.


People really will like you. You're going to make it.


Listen, when you leave,


Would you make sure that the door is locked?


Because we're going to be gone for a while.


Okay. Here. But don't forget these.


Now...here you go.


Nell, why didn't you just get on that bus?


I haven't seen those double-crossing doo-wop girls


Ever since.


Will you look at me?


I'm acting like it happened just yesterday.


Look at this.


Poor nell.


What a rotten deal.


It's like getting married and not going on the honeymoon.


Well, there's one good thing.


If you would have stayed with the doo-wop girls,


You wouldn't be here for us to love.


Oh, I love you kids.


I love all of you.


Well, those creeps will be crawling in here in a minute...


Three women with six faces.


You know, if you want,


We could have dad lower the boom on their butts.


They were real nerkeys.


What's a nerkey?


Well, it's a cross between a nerd and turkey.


Okay, girls. Let's cut that out.


And just remember, I have tried to raise you to be ladies,


And they are our guests,


So, therefore, we will treat them in a ladylike manner.


And then we'll send them home in an ambulance.


So, what you got in mind?


I don't know.


What can you do to a bunch of skinny women


That don't even weigh pounds soaking wet?


Soaking wet...


I think I got it.


[ Chuckles ]


You're going to drown them?!


Not quite.


You're going to flush them down the toilet.


Honey, if they want to take a cruise,


They'll have to pay for it for themselves.


No, I want you to go in the kitchen


And get me the little plastic pail.


Uh, katie, would you look up there


And find me some rope or a string cord?


Darling, go over there and get the chair.


Hurry, girls. Quick. They'll be here.


Come on. Open the closet door.


Here.


I know what you want! You do?


[ Laughs ] oh, no.


Oh, boy.


Was I right?


Oh, honey. I just love being nasty.


Here. Get up on the chair, honey.


All right, wait.


Got it.


[ Laughter ]


That's bad.


No, wait. All right.


Ta-da, how do you like it? What do you think?


Super!


What's it for?


Samantha, your brain is never going to make it to puberty.


[ Doorbell rings ]


Oops! That's them! Move! Chair. Go, go.


Chair. Just -- just go.


Just go. Just -- i-i-i.


Go, go, go. Go sit, go sit, go sit.


Shh! Shh! Shh! Be cool.


Who is it?


It's monica, dolores, and charlotte.


Shh.


Why, mon -- ooh, monica.


Uh, uh, kanisky girls, these -- wow.


These are the doo-wop girls.


Yes, I guess you can say we more than improved our figures.


We tripled them.


Why don't you move over here in the light by the closet?


I got a surprise.


That's okay.


I want you to be able to, you know, write back to --


To mr. Brown about.


Mr. Brown? Oh, she don't know.


That's right. She don't know!


She don't know about that.


We're not with wilson brown no more, honey.


As soon as we put on weight, he fired us, too.


Now we know how you feel.


Oh, nell. We are so sorry.


Could you ever, ever forgive us?


Yeah.


Oh, girl. I knew you would.


I can't hold a grudge all these years.


Y'all come away from the closet.


Does that mean that things can be the way they used to be?



Ooh, like the old days!


Singing in the clubs.


You remember that song? Which one?


♪ You're far away


Yeah. Yeah. Yes.


♪ From me, my love


♪ Just as sure, my, my baby


♪ As there are stars above


♪ Wanna say, wanna say, wanna say ♪


♪ Someday we'll be together


Ow! ♪ Yes, we will


♪ One day we'll be together


Oww!


Don't let me interrupt your porko party.


Oh, chief. Stop.


Someone ain't pleased.


You have to excuse me -- I'm on my way to the station,


And I just dropped in to pick up my g*n.


Aah! No, dad!


Oh, chief. [ Chuckling ]


Oh, chief.


Please don't go near this closet.


Well, why? That's where my g*n is.


[ Sighs ] I'll get it for you.


What's this?


Daddy! Daddy! No, dad!


Thank you. I needed that.


♪ Will the circle be unbroken?


♪ By and by, lord, by and by


Ow!


♪ There's a better home a-waiting ♪


♪ In the sky, lord, in the sky


All right!


♪ Gonna lay down my sword and shield ♪


♪ Down by the riverside


♪ Down by the riverside


♪ Down by the riverside


♪ Gonna lay down my sword and shield ♪


♪ Down by the riverside and study w*r no more ♪