03x12 - James Returns

[bunniefuu]

♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪



♪ Gimme a break, now I know what it takes ♪


♪ I'm putting a new face on the old one ♪


♪ Ready for anything


♪ Playing with fate, not a moment too late ♪


♪ I'm showing the whole world nothing can get me down ♪


♪ O-o-o-oh


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ gimme a break


♪ 'Cause I sure need one ♪ gimme a break


♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ I finally know where I belong ♪


♪ Gimme a break!


We're meeting samantha and joey


And taking them with us to the movies.


Come on, grandpa,


Help us find a movie with no sex and no v*olence.


No sex? No v*olence?


No grandpa.


I know what's safe.


Let's take them to the revival of "snow white."


Oh, I don't think


We should take the kids to see that.


I've always thought snow white was a little kinky.


Teenage girl living with seven dwarfs.


Pop, we'll see "snow white." [ Doorbell rings ]


I always did like grumpy.


Hi, addy. Hi, julie.


Is nell here?


I don't know. I haven't seen her since lunch.


Come to think of it,


She went out for the mail and didn't come back.


That's right. I saw her running down the street, crying.


Why didn't you stop her?


I thought she was jogging, and it hurt.


[ Laughing ]


These two fleas were coming out of a restaurant...


[ Laughs ]


And one turned to the other one and said,


"You want to walk, or you want to take a dog?"


[ Laughter ]


[ Sobbing ]


That was tony's favorite joke.


Does anybody else notice nell's acting a little strange?


Maybe I better go talk to her.


Hi, honey. Your coffee will be ready in a moment.


Nell, is there something wrong? No.


If there were something -- yes.


So there's nothing -- no.


Mm-hmm.


Then why are you acting so strange?


I ain't acting strange!


I'm sorry.


Did I yell?


I'm sorry, but I'm all right now.


Oh, girl, I got this amusing note from mama


Telling me that my ex-husband, tony, got remarried.


Ain't that funny? [ Laughs ]


[ Shrieks ]


I don't see why she's carrying on like this.


Tony was a jerk.


Carl, nell's problem is that she's a...


Well, she's a -- oh, what is the word?


Poor thing.


Psychologically, the remarriage of an ex-spouse,


It just accentuates the sense of failure.


Right now nell is an emotional yo-yo.


That's the word -- yo-yo.


Coming through. Hot stuff coming through.


Here you go, people.


Chief, there's your coffee.


Nell, I told you we're going out to the movies.


Well!


I sure wish somebody had told me.


I wouldn't have made such a big pot!


He did tell you.


Now, do you want to talk about tony?


No.


[ Chuckles ]


Besides, it's all right here in this clipping.


Read it, honey.


"Miss mary ann holt was married to anthony talmadge


"At the little church in the pines.


The -year-old bride..."


.


"...is the former second runner-up to miss baton rouge.


Love, mama."


Oh. Good news from home, nell?


She's . You homewrecker. Let me at her!


Nell!


What?!


Get ahold of yourself. What is wrong with you?


I'm sorry.


I'm sorry, katie. It's not your fault that you're...


!


[ Screaming ]


Sit her down.


Nell!



Nell!


Sit!


Look, why don't you all go to the movies,


And I'll just stay here


And have a little heart-to-heart with nell?


Don't leave on my account.


Katie...


I'm real sorry I tried to choke you...


Twice.


Oh, boy, we're gonna be late for the movies.


Come on, g*ng, let's go.


We love you, nell.


Nell, I'll be home after the movie, in case you need me.


All right, chief.


Can you believe tony left me for another woman?


Nell, you divorced him,


And that was seven years ago.


I know.


His new bride was years old then.


You know, you sound like


You're still carrying a torch for him.


You want him back?


Are you kidding?!


I wouldn't take that bag of fleas back


If he were the last man on this earth.


Are you crazy? Then why are you so upset?


'Cause I don't want nobody else to have him!


Look, I understand what you're feeling,


But, honey, since the divorce,


You haven't exactly been leading the life of a nun.


That's not fair, addy.


I did not know he was a priest.


That is not what I'm talking about.


Addy, I've only cared about two men in my whole life.


One I divorced,


And the other one forgot to tell me he was married.


Oh, please, let's not bring james roland into this.


Let's just deal with one bad love affair at a time.


[ Scoffs ] with james, it was just love.


We never got around to affair.


Will you listen to yourself? That's it.


We're getting out of here. I'm gonna cheer you up.


I ain't gonna never be cheered up as long as I live.


You are wrong, honey. I'm gonna call angie -- uhh!


Yes, and we're gonna have a girls' night out.


No, no, no. Don't call angie. Yes, angie.


Now, listen, this is exactly what you need --


Just a happy-go-lucky, not-too-bright dummy


Who laughs a lot and is only looking for a good time.


Ladies, I don't care if it's tony or james roland.


They're all the same.


Yeah?


You know, the other night,


I went out with a man I thought was really different.


And after two drinks, I find out he's a -year-old.


If he's a -year-old, how come they served him drinks?


He had phony i.d., Angie.


Oh.


You know, no matter how old they are, they never grow up.


It's the peter pan syndrome.


They make great peanut butter.


You see how much fun it is to be out with the girls?


James.


The james roland, I presume?


Hey! Ooh!


Hey, man. I'm so glad to see you guys.


We're your buddies, man.


Yeah. How often does a friend get divorced?


In my case, every three years.


Oh, you dog, you.


[ Howling, laughter ]


You guys are just what I need to help me to forget my divorce --


No women, lots of laughs.


I got us a great table. Waiter?


Right this way, gentlemen.


It's so easy to see through men.


You can always tell exactly what they want.


Yeah.


What they want is control and domination.


Yeah.


Angie!


Hey, come on, girls.


Let's just stop talking about men, all right?


Right, right. No more talk about men.


All right.


And another thing -- if they can't have their way,


They get mad, act like kids, and want to punch the wall.


My wife made me so mad, I actually punched the wall.


Don't get so excited.


We're only talking about a marriage.


It's not like it was the world series or something important.


Yeah, dave's right.


Believe me, james,


You can't let yourself get all hot and bothered about women.


Unless she's got legs like that.


What? What?


I'm gonna check the rest of her out.


Excuse me, ladies.


I couldn't help but notice your, uh...


Your, uh...



Your legs.


You must be the smooth one.


I am.


Would you like a smooth dance?


Yes, but I can't.


Nell's ex-husband just got married, so we hate all men.


Sweetheart, dance with the man if you want to.


No! Now, this is girls' night out.


Angie, you're supposed to sit here with nell.


Would you like to dance?


I'd love to.


You sit here with nell.


No, honey, go dance.


Take her. Please. Take her.


Okay.


James roland, what are you doing here?


Oh, hi, angie.


You're james roland?


Well, yeah.


We're celebrating james' divorce tonight.


Excuse me. I'll see you on the floor.


Nell! James roland is in the next booth.


Did he say he was out of halibut?


Nell, he's not married anymore.


He's divorced.


Ooh, the crab cakes sound good.


Nell, the man is available.


So are the crab cakes.


Okay.


You just sit here and feel sorry for yourself.


But I got a good look at james roland,


And, girl, if they had him on the menu, that's what I'd order.


Well, you aren't me.


I hear the crab cakes are divorced.


[ Clears throat ]


Nell, my marriage to yolanda was over when I met you. [ Chuckles ]


I missed you, nell. I...


I thought about you.


I thought about you, too.


Hmm? Mm-hmm.


Hi, there. Would you like to order a drink?


Or do you want to eat first?


That'll be no drink and no eat.


Thank you.


Oh.


[ Chuckles ]


Now, how would you like to go for a little drive?


Where?


Santa barbara?


That's over miles from here.


Is it that close? Mm-hmm.


Just to talk, walk,


Stroll along the beach beneath the moonlight.


There's no moon out tonight.


There's moonlight wherever you are tonight.


That's so beautiful.


I got to go to the john -- I mean, to...


Excuse me. I have to go to the powder room.


Psst!


Psst!


Excuse me. Excuse me.


Help!


Excuse me. Angie.


Hi.


Angie, come on.


Bye.


What is it? Ooh, ooh. Sit down, sit down.


Ooh, that serious?


James wants to drive me to santa barbara


To walk on the beach.


Likewise.


My guy wants to drive me to his apartment


And walk on his water bed.


Yeah?


What do you think? Are you gonna go out with him?


I don't know. You see, well, one side of me says,


"Go on to santa barbara and have a good time."


But the other side of me says,


"Go on to santa barbara and have a good time."


Oh, nell, I don't know.


Now, is james talking about a long, meaningful relationship,


Or is this just a cheap, tawdry affair?


Which is better?


[ Laughs ]


I told you. I told you.


Look, I don't know.


I don't know if --


I don't know if I'm ready to get involved with james again.


Well, he broke your heart once.


But then again, the salt --


The salt air will be good for my health.


Well, if you're going for medical reasons --


Angie!


All right!


Look, nell...


Honey, there is no reason


For you to go to santa barbara tonight.


You're in a very emotional state right now.


You're right.


Thanks, addy.



Angie...


Yeah.


Guess tonight really isn't a good night


To go to santa barbara.


Thank you.


Hold it!


I want to talk to you


About going to that man's apartment.


Well, I'll ask him,


But don't get upset if he turns you down.


You know, nell,


This is the first time we've ever danced together.


James, I have something to tell you.


Uh...


Oh, um...


You're not gonna like this, but I have made up my mind.


Uh, oh, I have definitely made up my mind.


How long would it take you to get me to santa barbara?


We'll get there in plenty of time to see the sunrise.


Oh, it's so romantic, nell.


Hmm, sunrise.


The last time I saw the sunrise, I woke up,


Realized it was thursday, and ran out with the garbage cans.


[ Laughs ] oh, we're gonna have a great time.


Come on. Let's go. Okay.


Hello, james.


Nell, I'd like for you to meet yolanda.


Hi.


You must be the ex-mrs. Roland.


Yes. Are you the next?


Excuse me.


Hmm!


[ Laughs ]


What's so funny?


Sit down, sweetheart. Come on.


You know you're on the rebound, don't you? What?


I'm afraid that I'm doing


A little rebounding tonight myself.


What the hell are you talking about, nell?


I got a letter today from my mama


Telling me that my ex-husband, tony, got married again.


Oh?


Yeah, to a much older woman.


It didn't seem fair


That he should have someone and I didn't.


Then it's lucky that we ran into each other.


No, no.


You see, you would only be my substitute...


Tony.


And I would only be your substitute...


Yolanda.


Frankly, honey, you'd be getting the better end of the deal.


[ Both chuckle ]


Do I get the feeling that santa barbara is out?


You got the feeling.


Nell, look, you're divorced. I'm divorced.


No, listen, listen.


If I went to santa barbara with you,


It would be for the wrong reason.


When I go to santa barbara with you,


I want it to be for the right reason.


Don't you want to see the sunrise?


I'll see it.


It's thursday, and I got to take the garbage out.


I'll see you, love.


[ Sighs ]


[ Descending notes play ]


[ Introductory notes to "I can let go now" play ]


[ "I can let go now" plays ]


♪ It was so right


♪ It was so wrong


♪ Almost at the same time


♪ The pain and ache


♪ My heart can take


♪ No one really knows


♪ But when the memories cling


♪ And they keep you there


♪ Till you no longer care


♪ You can let g-o-o-o now


[ Piano plays ]


♪ It's wrong for me


♪ To cling to you


♪ But somehow I just needed the time ♪


♪ For what was to be


♪ Hey, it's not like me


♪ To hold somebody down


♪ But I was tossed so high by love ♪


♪ You know, I almost never came down ♪


♪ Only to land here


♪ Where love's no longer found ♪


♪ Well, I'm no longer bound


♪ And I can let go now


♪ Now


Hello?


Hi, sweetheart. [ Clears throat ] it's nell.


Look, james, I just thought of a wonderful reason


For going to santa barbara.


Come get me, honey.


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break


♪ Gimme a break
end


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♪ Gimme a break