04x11 - Eek! A Spouse!

[bunniefuu]

♪ So Come Walk The Night ♪

♪ Come Fly By Day ♪

♪ Something Is Sweeter ♪

♪ 'cause We Met On The Way ♪

♪ Moonlighting Strangers ♪

♪ Who Just Met On The Way ♪

♪ Who Just Met On The Way ♪

Captioning Made Possible By
Lions Gate Home Entertainment

[Rock Music Playing]

♪ When I Took You Out ♪

♪ I Knew What You
Were All About ♪

♪ But When I Did ♪

♪ I Didn't Mean To Turn You On ♪

♪ Now I Bring You Home ♪

♪ You Tell Me Good Night's
Not Enough For You ♪

♪ I'm Sorry, Baby ♪

♪ I Didn't Mean To Turn You On ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

♪ I Didn't Mean
To Turn You On ♪

♪ You Read Me Wrong ♪

♪ I Wasn't Trying
To Lead You On ♪

♪ Not Like You Think ♪

♪ I Didn't Mean To Turn You-- ♪

[Ring]

Hello.

Uh, Yes, He's Here.

It's The Doorman.

Yeah?

Oh!

What?!

What? Where Is She?

Where Is She?

[Metal Clanging]

Hope I Didn't Interrupt
Your Evening, Dear.

Tony?

So...That's The Whore
You've Been Seeing
Behind My Back.

What The Hell Did
You Do To My Car?

What The Hell Are You
Doing To Our Marriage?

How Stupid Do You
Think I Am?

Damn You!

Damn You!

Go To Hell.

[Car Starting]

[Tires Squealing]

[Ring]

Blue Moon Detective Agency.

Your Best Gal Friday's
Got Her Hand In The Till,

That Faithful Bookkeeper's
Been Giving You Swill,

Call Blue Moon Pronto.

We'll Sniff Out That Cheat

And Get Your Business
Back On Its Feet.

Our Fee Ain't Cheap,
But We'll Bust Our Chops

'cause Our Team Is Back Together
And Everything's...

Sort Of Ok.

Can You Call Back?

Good Morning,
Miss Dipesto.

Good Morning,
Miss Hayes.

It Certainly Is Nice To Be Back
In The Swing Of Things--

The Ting-A-Ling-A-Ling
Of My Snooze Alarm,

Bumper To Bumper
With My Commuter Coffee Mug

and My Favorite
Solid Gold Deejay.

Ah, Yes.

It's Great To Be Back
In The Saddle Again.

Mr. Addison
In Yet?

Nope.

Some Things
Never Change.

Oh, He's
Usually In By Now.

Really?

Can't Run An Agency
All By Yourself

And Sleep Until Noon.

Matter Of Fact, I Can't
Remember The Last Time

He Was This Late.

Maybe He Got Caught
In Traffic.

Maybe.

Probably.

You Don't Think
Mr. Addison's

Not Coming In
At All, Do You?

Why Would He
Not Come In?

Well, There Have
Been Some Changes

Since
I Was Here Last.

Events Have
Taken Place,

Milestones Reached.

Oh, You Mean,
You Got Married?

Uh...

Yeah, I Heard.

Congratulations,
Honestly.

We're All Very Thrilled
For You Both.

You're Really Going
To Like Him--My Husband.

He's Terrific.

Terrific.

He Makes Me Happy.

Happy's Good.

So...

You Think Mr. Addison
Should Leave The Agency?

No, No, No.

Absolutely A Hundred
Percent Not.

I Want Him To Stay,

But We Have
To Prepare Ourselves

For The Possibility
That Mr. Addison

May Feel A Little
Differently.

♪ I Can't Stop,
I Can't Stop ♪

♪ Because
Lightning Striking Again ♪

♪ La ♪

Howdy, Boss.

Miss Dipesto,
If Anyone Calls,

I Will Not Seek,
Nor Will I Accept

The Nomination Of
My Party For President

Of These United States.

♪ La ♪

Morning.

Morning--That's Why
The Sun's Up.

You Certainly Seem
In Fine Spirits.

There's Many Things To Be
In Fine Spirits About:

Woke Up This Morning,
Looked In A Mirror,

Hadn't Turned Into
A Giant Cockroach Yet.

That's 5 Days In A Row.

Let Me Ask You A Question.

Should We Invest
Last Quarter's Earnings

In A 7.5% T-Bill

Or Buy 23,417
Lottery Tickets?

I Half Expected Not
To See You Today.

You Leaving Town Again?

For A While I Was
Worried About You.

I Mean,

After The Bombshell
I Dropped Yesterday.

Bombshell?

What b*mb--Oh, You Mean
About Getting Married?

That Wasn't No Bombshell.

That Was A Bottle Rocket,

A Cap.

A Cap?

Yeah. Not Even A Cap.

I Think It's Great.
You Do?

Yeah. Not Only Me.

The Whole Office
Is Thrilled.

Yeah, I Noticed. They
Didn't Say Anything,

But I Could Hear
Their Pulses Quicken.

It's A Fact Of Life,
Babe.

You Grow Up,
You Get Married.

Some Of My Best Friends
Are Married.

i Was Married.

I Think Everybody Ought
To Take A Whack At It.

I Just Read An Article

About A Doughnut Tycoon
From Arkansas.

Got Married 27 Times.

Couldn't Stand To Be
Away From Holy Matrimony.

Do You Want To Talk
About This, David?

i Am Talking About This.

Personally, I Think We Ought
To Go With Lottery Tickets.

Not That, David.

Us, Me, My Marriage.

There Really Isn't
That Much More

To Talk About, Is There?

I Mean, You Wouldn't
Have Hauled Off

And Got Married If You
Were Having My Baby.

You're Not Having
My Baby, Are You?

No. I Already
Told You.

Then There's Nothing
To Talk About.

I Think It's Terrific.

A Little Out Of Left Field,
But I Think It's Terrific.

[Knock On Door]

Excuse Me For Interrupting,

But There's A Woman
Here To See You.

Tell Her To Wait.

Nonsense. The Business
Of Blue Moon Is Business.

Show Her In.

Fine. Show Her In.

Thank You For Seeing Me
Without An Appointment.

My Name Is Lauren Baxter.

Hi. I'm Maddie Hayes.
Nice To Meet You.

Hi. I'm David Addison.

Please Make Yourself
Comfortable.

How Can We Help You,
Miss Baxter?

mrs. Baxter.

I'm Still Old-Fashioned
About Certain Things.

I Wasn't Sure I Should Come
To A Detective Agency,

But I Didn't Know
Where Else To Go.

I Want You To Save
My Marriage.

Well, Shouldn't You
Go To Someone

More Qualified
For That,

Say, A Marriage
Counselor?

No. I Don't Need
That Kind Of Help.

My Husband And I Have
No Trouble Communicating.

What We Have Trouble With
Is Keeping Our Voices Down.

He Can Be So Damn Stupid.

We've Been Married 15 Years.

Every One Of Them's Been
Stormy And Tempestuous,

And, I Think, Wonderful.

Maddie: So Your Arguments
Are The Problem.

His Mistress
Is The Problem.

I Don't Know How Long
It's Been Going On,

But I Want It
To Stop...Now.

Sounds Like A Reasonable
Request From A Wife.

Well, He Doesn't Listen
To Reasonable.

He Doesn't Like Other People
Making Demands On Him,

Especially His Wife.

But I Don't Want
To Lose Him.

I Love Him, And I
Know He Loves Me.

Does Your Husband
Know You Found Out?

He Knows.

She Was Different
Than I Expected--

Cool, Detached--

Quite The Opposite
Of Me,

But I Suppose That's
What A Man Looks For

In A Mistress, Isn't It?

The Things He Doesn't
Find In A Wife.

What Would You
Like Us To Do?

Her Name Is
Bridget Graves.

I Want You To Take Her
The Following Offer:

$50,000 Cash
Plus Relocation Expenses

Anywhere In The World.

In Exchange,

I Want Her To Promise
Never To See, Correspond,

Or In Any Way Communicate
With My Husband Ever Again.

What Do You Think,
Mrs. Bishop?

Could I Speak
To You Outside

For A Moment,
Please?

Me?

Be Right Back.

Kind Of Like
Deja Vu, Isn't It?

You, Me, Out Here
Arguing Whether

We Should Take A Case.

What Did
You Call Me?

Maddie,
Short For Madalyn,

From The Old English,
Meaning,

"Tall, Beautiful Blonde Woman
In A Wet Slinky Nightie."

No. I Mean, Before.

You Called Me
Mrs. Bishop.

Yeah. Got A Nice Ring
To It, Doesn't It?

Kind Of Ecclesiastical.

I'm Not Mrs. Bishop.
I'm Maddie Hayes.

Yeah,
But You're Married.

So?

When A Woman Gets Married,

It's Traditional That She
Takes The Name Of Her Husband,

Like Mamie Eisenhower,
Mrs. T.

Why Are You
Doing This?

Doing What?
Acting This Way?

Acting What Way,
Mrs. Bishop?

I'm Not
Mrs. Bishop!

I'm Not Going
By Mrs. Bishop.

I'm Going By
Maddie Hayes.

Aha! Do I Detect A Slight
Tinge Of Defensiveness

On The Subject
Of Your Marriage?

I Am Not Defensive.
I Am Not Tinged.

What Did You Drag Me
Out Here To Argue For?

I Didn't Drag You
Out Here.

I Asked You
Out Here To Correct You.

I Stand Corrected.

You Don't Stand
Too Bad Yourself.

Let's Go
Back Inside.

So What Does
Your Husband Think

About You Turning Your
Turned-Up Nose At His Name?

David! I'm Not Going
To Stand Out Here,

Let You Browbeat Me
Because I Got Married.

If You're Trying
To Get Even--

I'm Not Trying
To Get Even.

Maddie, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

We're Just Having
A Little Fun,

Trading Barbs,
Jabs, Quips, Gibes,

A Little Friendly Banter.
It's What We Do.

As Far As Your
Marriage Goes,

I Told You,
I Think It's Terrific.

Terrific?

Terrific.

Excuse Me
For Interrupting,

But Were You Two Going
To Take This Case?

We'd Be Delighted.

Delighted.

This Is Strange.

Yeah.

Two People Driving
In A Car.

Highly Unusual.

No. I Mean
All This Silence.

Me With You In A Car,

I'm Just Not Used
To All This Silence.

Oh.

Are You Upset?

I Mean, It's Ok
If You Are.

I Guess You Have
A Right To Be.

I Just Wish
You'd Tell Me.

I'm Not Upset.

No. I Mean, It's Ok.
I Understand.

I'm Not Upset.

I Would Be Upset.
I Would Be Very, Very...

Upset.

May I Ask Why?

Why What?

Why You're Not Upset.

Not Upset
About What?

Me, Married?

Ohh...

Ohh...

Why Am I Not Upset?

I Don't Know.

You Don't Know?

I Don't Know.
I Really Don't.

Really? I Bet.

I Guess I Just Don't
Believe You're Married.

You Don't?
No, I Don't.

Really?
Really.

Well, Believe It.

If You Say So.

I Say So.
You're Married?

I'm Married.

You Really Did It?

I Really Did It.

Then I Believe You.

You'd Better.
Ok.

Ok.

You Still
Don't Seem Upset.

I'm Not.

May I Ask Why?
I Don't Know.

Because You Still Don't
Seem Married Yet.

I Am.

You Don't Seem
Very Happy.

Well, You Don't Seem
Very Unhappy.

Then We're Even.

You're Upset.
Am Not.

You're Upset!
Am Not.

You Are Upset!

Am Not, Am Not,
Am Not.

Why Would I
Be Upset?

What Is There
To Be Upset About?

Look, When You Told Me,
I Was A Little Upset,

But Then When I Started
Thinking, I Said,

"Wait A Minute--"

When You Started What?

I Said, "She's Not
Really Married."

I Am!

What Kind Of Person
Meets A Person On Friday,

Marries That Person
On Sunday,

And Then Shows Up
To Work On Monday?

this Kind Of Person.

A Person That's
Really Not Married

But Wants Another
Person To Think

That She's Married.

That's What Kind
Of Person.

You're Wrong.
If I'm Wrong--

You're Wrong.

Then What Kind
Of Person...

Meets A Person
On Friday,

Marries That Person
On Sunday,

And Then Shows Up
To Work On Monday

Just So She Can
Tell Another Person

That She's Married?

Could You Repeat
The Question?

No. I'll Tell
You The Answer.

I Am Not Upset

Because I Refuse
To Get Upset

Because "A," I Don't
Really Know

If You Are Married,

And "B," If You
Are Married,

I Know Why You
Got Married.

You Do?
I Do.

Please Share It With Me.
Make It My Wedding Gift.

To Spite Me.

What?!
You Heard Me.

to Spite You?

Mm-Hmm.

Are You Suggesting That--

I'm Not Suggesting.

You Egotistical--

Ooh! Nailed It,
Didn't I?

Uhh!

I'll Have You Know
That The Only Reason

I Got Married--

Oh, Yeah. I Really
Want To Hear This.

...Is Love--
L-O-V-E, Love.

Love? Ha Ha! Love!

Yeah, Love.
Ever Hear Of Love?

Not Me.
Everybody Knows

What A Callous
Bastard I Am.

I Hate To Break
It To You, David,

But That's What This
Is About, Not You.

Not Me?

Not You. It's
About Love,

A Great And
Extraordinary Love.

Wait A Minute.
Let Me Get My Violin.

I Got Swept Off My
Feet, David. I Did.

I Fell In Love.
It's As Simple As That.

I Know It Hurts You
To Hear It.

I'll Admit There's
A Bad Odor About It.

I Knew You Wouldn't
Understand, But It's True.

I Met Someone,
An Extraordinary Someone.

The Minute I Saw Him,
I Knew All About Him,

And He Knew All About Me.

Just Like That?
Just Like That.

You Knew Him?
Yes.

He Knew You?
Yes.

Just Swept You
Off Your Pumps?

Fine. Make Fun.

So This Is It?
This Is It.

He's The One?
He's The One.

Till Death
Do Us Part?

Absolutely.

So What Color
Are His Eyes?

What?

What Color
Are His Eyes?

It's Ok.

You Can Get Back
To Me On That One.

I'm Sorry. I'm Not
Much Of A Churchgoer.

Excuse Me?

I Don't Want To Buy
Whatever You're Selling

Or Convert
To Your Religion.

You Might, Depending On What
You Worship, Miss Graves.

Who Are You?

I'm David Addison,
And This Is Maddie--

Hayes! We're Here
To Talk To You

About Anthony Baxter.

Anthony?
Is Something Wrong?

There Is If
You're Mrs. Baxter.

This Is Just Amazing.

I'm Simply This
Other Woman

Who Can Be Bought Off
Just Like That?

I Know
Why She's Doing This.

I Understand.

I Don't Have Any Illusions

About My Relationship
With Anthony.

i Mean, I Am
The Other Woman, Aren't I?

I've Always Known I Can
Never Really Have Him.

He's Been Honest
About That.

If He Divorces Her, He's
Got To Give Her Everything.

But There's Something
She Doesn't Understand.

she's The Problem
Here, Not Me.

Her Troubles Won't
Magically Disappear If I Do.

Do You Think Anthony's
Cheating On His Wife

Because He's Happy
At Home?

He Comes Here
For That.

He Comes To Me

Because It's
Relaxed With Us.

It's Easy.

we Can Talk.
We Can Just Be Together.

Every Conversation

Doesn't Have To Turn
Into An Argument.

Every Issue Doesn't
Have To Be Black Or White.

Every Moment
Between Us Doesn't

Have To Be Hot Or Cold.

We Just...

Accept Each Other
For Who We Are.

So I Don't Get To See
Him At Christmas...

Or His Birthday.

We Make The Most
Of The Days In Between.

I Get The Best Of Him.

I Get Someone Who
Wants To Be With Me

When He Is With Me...

No Pressures.

It's Just...

Comfortable.

How Many People Can
Say They Had That?

I Think You Better Leave.

Brown?

Your Eyes
Are Brown?

No, I'm Not
Disappointed.

Right. There Are Always
Tinted Contact Lenses.

Of Course
I'm Kidding.

I'm Kidding,
And You're Kidding.

No. No Regrets.

I Love You, Too.

Bye.

[Knocking On Door]

Come In.

This Ought To Catch You Up
On Everything, Miss Hayes.

Thank You, Agnes.

Anything Else I Can
Get You, Miss Hayes?

No.
That Should Do It.

Agnes?

Why Are You Angry?

I Wish Someone
Would Tell Me Why

Everyone Is Angry.

You Don't Know?

I Don't Know,
Miss Hayes.

I Guess We All
Feel Let Down.

I Mean, We Get Up Every
Morning, Jump In The Shower,

Fight The Traffic
And Come To Work,

Put In Our Time,
Leave...

And Try To Find
The Energy

To Do It All Again
The Next Morning.

Why Do We Do That?

I Don't Know.

But It Sure
Isn't About Money,

And I Don't Think
It Has Much To Do

With Being Detectives.

I Mean, If You Listen
To Those People Out There,

They're Almost
Never Talking About

Who They Really Think

m*rder*d Thus-And-So,
You Know?

Mostly What
They're Talking About...

Is You And Him.

David And I?

I Mean, There Isn't
A Whole Lot Left

In This World That's Real.

You Buy A Cup Of Coffee,

And They Give You
This White Stuff

To Put In It That
Isn't Really Milk.

You Order Something
Through A Catalog,

And When It Gets
To Your House,

It Almost Never Looks
Like The Picture.

You Talk To Someone
On The Phone,

And Then
When You Meet Them,

They Almost Never Seem
Like You Imagined.

But You Two...

I Don't Know.

I Loved It
When You Fought.

I Loved It
When You Made Up.

I Loved
Being Around You,

And, I Mean,
I Didn't Necessarily

Think You'd Get Married.

I Just Never Figured
You'd Marry Anyone Else.

I Just Thought...

It Was Realer Than That.

And I Feel Let Down...

And I Guess We All
Feel That Way.

Agnes...

You've Got To Know

That When I Got
On That Train,

I Had
Every Intention...

That's Not True.

When I Got
On That Train,

I Didn't Know What
I Was Going To Do.

I Didn't Know What
Was Going To Happen.

All I Knew Was That
I Belonged Here

And That You Cared And
That He Really Cared.

Getting The Baby Books

And The Phone Messages,
I Mean.

I Was Determined
To Work It Out.

But As I Got Closer
To Los Angeles...

I Mean, As I Got Closer
And Closer To Home...

I Got More
And More Frightened.

Then I Met This Man,

Very Nice Man.

He Listened To Me.
He Comforted Me.

He Seemed
To Understand Me.

Is That Love?
I Don't Know.

Maybe It's Just...

Two People
Who Figure

They'll Never See
Each Other Again

So Why Not Be Honest
With Each Other.

So We Were.

I Told Him
Everything.

He Listened,
And He Cared.

I Was
A Blithering Idiot.

It Was Like
I Was Rushing

Back To School
To Take An Exam

I Hadn't
Studied For--

Me And David...

The Baby Being Sam's
And Not David's.

But You Know
What Else?

I Couldn't Marry
David Addison,

And It's Not
What You Think.

I Know He Would Try
To Reinvent Himself

Into This
Perfect Husband

And Perfect Father,

But He'd
Be Miserable

And So Would I.

Anyway, Walter--

The Man On The
Train--And I

Were Sitting
In This Restaurant

In Las Vegas,

One Of Those
God-Awful Casinos,

Laughing
And Talking,

And All Of A Sudden,
He Said To Me,

"Hey, You Know, I
Have A Crazy Idea.

Why Don't
We Get Married?"

And I Thought
At First He Was Joking,

And I Laughed.

And Then It All
Fell Into Place.

We'd Get Married,

Not That
I Needed To,

not That I Had To.

It Wasn't That I Was

Husband-Hunting
Or Anything.

I Mean, I Had
Made The Decision

To Have This Baby...

By Myself,

And I Was Absolutely
Prepared To Do That.

But Here Was
This Nice Man,

And It All Seemed
To Make Sense.

I Knew David
Would Be Hurt.

I Knew He'd
Probably Leave,

And That Would
Hurt Me, Too.

But...

At Least
He'd Still Be David.

Being David Is
A Wonderful Thing.

Being David Is Like,
I Don't Know,

A First Kiss...

All The Time.

You Know
What I Mean?

That's
A Wonderful Thing,

But It's
Also Scary--

Always Being Nervous,
Always Being Unsure.

And Walter?

Walter's...

He Understands Me.

He Cares.

No. No,
He's Not Like...

A First Kiss.

He's More Like
That White Stuff

You Put
In The Coffee.

But You Know What?

I Like That Stuff.

You Can Depend
On It, Hot Or Cold.

It's Always There
For You.

But That Doesn't
Mean You Ever

Stop Loving
Real Milk, Either.

Oh, Miss Hayes!

That's The Most Beautiful
Thing I Ever Heard.

Agnes.

Oh, Miss Hayes.

And You Won't
Say Anything?

David: Well, What Makes
You Think I Don't Want

To Go See Chamber Music?

Scarlotti?

Yeah, I Heard Of Him.

He Owns A Clam Joint On
The Hudson River, Doesn't He?

Ha Ha Ha!

It's Almost
Show Time, Kiddo.

Terry, You Got To Stop
Being So Nervous About This.

Yes, I Have My Beeper.

Yes, It's Working.

Yeah, It's Right
In My Pocket.

Just Relax. Listen--

Stop.

Will You Stop?

Just Do What
They Told You To Do

In Lamaze Class.

Put On Some More
Chamber Music.

Ok.

All Right. Good.
I'll Call You Later.

Ok. Get Some Sleep.
Bye-Bye.

[Telephone Rings]

Blue Moon.
David Addison Speaking.

Yo, Blondie!

Up And At 'em!

Bridget Went
For The Gold.

She's Flying The Love Nest,
And We Got To Go See Her.

Yo!

I Guess Hubby Likes
His Dinner On The Table.

How Are You
Feeling, Sir?

About A Minute Older
Than The Last Time

You Asked Me, Bert.

Could I Pull Off
The Road

And Get You Anything--

A Cup Of Coffee?
An Egg Salad Sandwich?

Some Antidepressants
Of Any Kind?

No, Thanks.

Not That I Was Implying
That You Were Poised--

No Implication
Taken, Bert.

And Thank You
For Seeking

My Assistance
On This Case.

I Just Want You
To Know That...

Day Or Night,
Rain Or Shine,

Come Hell
Or High Water,

I Will Always
Be There--

Bert, Bert.

If This Is About
Miss Hayes Getting Married,

You Can Just Cool
Your Jets, All Right?

I Can, Sir?

Yeah, Man.
I'm Fine.

You're Fine?

I'm Fine.
I'm Real Fine.

i'm So Fine.
So Just Relax, All Right?

Oh, Ok.

You Don't Have To
Be Brave With Me,

Mr. Addison!

I Know What
You're Feeling:

The Emptiness,

The Desperation,
The Pain,

The Gnarled Fingers

Of Betrayal Reaching
Down Your Throat

And Crushing Your
Heart Within You

Like An Overripe
Pomegranate.

Come On, Sir!
Say It With Me.

"They Are Not Long,

These Days Of
Wine And Roses--"

Bert, Bert!

Take 3 Deep Breaths
Right Now.

Thank You, Sir.

Listen, I've Got
A Proposal.

I'm Just Going To
Mention This Once,

And I Will Never
Bring It Up Again.

But Now Is The Prime
Opportunity For You

To Take Advantage
Of The Many Skills

You've Inculcated
In Me

And Dig Into The
Hopefully Checkered Past

Of This Mystery Man,

This Mr. Walter Bishop.

I Appreciate The Offer, Bert,
But I Really Don't Think--

Mr. Addison, Don't You
Want To Expose

This Casanova,

This Seducer,
This Premise Wrecker?

I Am Sure Walter Bishop
Is A Square Guy.

Otherwise Maddie
Wouldn't Have Married Him.

Well, That Is Very
Generous Of You, Sir,

But Something Tells Me
That This "Square Guy"

Is Giving Miss Hayes
A Raw Deal.

Maybe He's Some Kind
Of Philanderer

Looking For A Soft Job
As A Househusband.

Maybe He Just Pulled
The Steel Wool

Over Miss Hayes' Eyes.

Ohh...

Oh, I Don't Know.

The Whole Thing
Is Criminal.

Bert, He Married Her.

He Didn't Tie Her
To A Log In A Sawmill.

exactly!
He Married Her.

why Did
She Marry Him?

Why Did She Marry
Him? He's Not You.

That Would Make It
A Little Crowded

In The Bathroom
In The Morning.

I Don't Know.
It's Just...

There's No Explanation.
There's No Reason.

It's Like Saying
2 And 2 Equals 5

Or Day Is Night

Or We Don't
Really Exist.

Do We Really Exist,
Sir?

Can You Really Prove
That We--

Bert!

Can You Feel
Your Underwear?

Yes.

Then You Really Exist.

And I'm Sure Walter Bishop,
Whatever Kind Of Guy He Is,

Feels His Underwear,
And He Really Exists, Too.

Let's Attend To The Mistress
At Hand, Shall We?

[Knock Knock]

bert: Boy, She Really
Is A Home Wrecker.

Ok. We'll Go In,

But If Her Head
Rotates More Than Once,

Let's Get
Out Of Here.

[Sobbing]

He Took My g*n.

I've Been Trying
To Warn Her.

What g*n?Warn Who?

I Thought We Were Just Going
To Drop Off Some Money.

Who Took Your g*n?

Anthony!
Bert: The Husband?

Oh, Still Busy.

I've Got To Warn Her
Before Something Happens.

Warn Who? Mrs. Baxter?

I'm Afraid Something
Terrible Might Happen To Her.

Let's Try
The Police.

"Something Terrible"
Is Their Business.

Yeah, We've Got
An Emergency.

Don't Put Me
On Hold! Hey!

Must Be A Lot Of
"Something Terribles" Going On.

Here. Hold My Hold,
Will You?

Are You Ok?

I Always Knew
He Had A Temper.

I've Just Never Been
On This End Of It Before.

He Came Over Just
After I Called You.

He Found Me Packing.
He Got So Upset.

It Scared Me.

I Told Him About
His Wife, Her Offer,

And He Just Snapped.

Can You Believe
I Envied This,

This Thing They Have?

Anthony Never Felt For Me
What He Feels For Her.

I Was This Escape,

A Place He Could Come
To Cool Off.

That's Why I Decided To
Accept Mrs. Baxter's Offer,

So I Could Go
Someplace New,

Start Over...

Try To Find What
I Thought They Had--All This...

Emotion.

Yeah. I've Got
An Emergency Here.

Something Terrible.

[Men Talking]

Man: Stand Back There.
Stand Back.

What's All The Hubbub?

Someone's Dead.

Man: Go Home Now, Folks.

David: Hi. I'm Frank Billings.
This Is My Associate Clive.

We're From
The Organ Bank.

We Hear There's
A Perfectly Good

Gall Bladder
On The Premises.

Man: Back Off.

No One's
Allowed In.

What Happened?

Officer: She sh*t Him.

Says He Came Home
In A Rage Waving A g*n.

They Fought.
Looks Like Self-Defense.

David: Well, That's What We Get
For Coming Fashionably Late.

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

[Ring]

I Don't Know,
Mr. Addison.

I Think Something
Smells Funny.

Don't Cast
Dispersions, Bert.

If You'd Been Up
All Night

At A Police Interrogation
Being Barbecued,

You Wouldn't Smell
Too Good, Either.

I Didn't Mean You, Sir.
I Meant The Case.

It's Just Too Easy--

Bad Marriage,
Suddenly He's Dead.

[Telephone Rings]

[Ring]

Blue Moon.

David.
Maddie?

I Can't Believe
You're There.

Yeah, Well, Mr. Baxter
Fell Off A Curb Last Night.

I Figured There's
No Use Bothering You.

Since When Did You Become
Such An Early Bird?

I Don't Know.
Worrywart, I Guess.

Well, Don't Worry.
Everything's Under Control.

I'll Fill You In Later.

Go Back To Sleep.

Ok.
Don't Hang Up, David.

What Do You Mean,
"Don't Hang Up, David?"

Maddie, It's 5:30
In The Morning.

Maddie: I Don't Know.
Maybe I'm Crazy.

Do You Want Me To Disagree
With You About That?

I Don't Know. I Had
This Crazy Thought

That We Could Talk, That
I Could Talk To You,

Work Things Out,
Explain Things,

Instead Of Lying Awake
All Night

Worrying About
How You Feel.

I Feel Fine.
Go To Sleep.

I Don't Want To Go To
Sleep. I Want To Talk.

Well, I Don't.

If You Could Just Park
Your Ego For A Minute.

My Ego?

Your Poor, Spited Ego.

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

Look, I Got News
For You, Babe.

this Has Nothing
To Do With My Ego.

this Is All
About Your Ego.

What?

Yeah. Your Ego,
Your Pride.

You Can't Stand The Fact
That You Got Married,

That You Dropped
Some Big A-b*mb On Me,

But I'm Not Standing
On A Chair

With My Head In
A Noose About It.

The Razor's Still In
The Medicine Cabinet, Maddie,

And The Oven Is Off,

And That Is Why
You Can't Sleep.

Ha! Ha Ha Ha.
That's Ridiculous.

You Only Want Me To
Believe You Feel Fine.

You'd Love It If I'd
Believe You Feel Fine.

But, David, Singing
In The Elevator

Doesn't Convince Me.

Your Ego's In
The Trash Heap, Addison!

Let Me Tell You
A Little Story.

[Slam]

That's It.
You Cracked It!

We Can Get
Another Phone, Bert.

Not The Phone,
The Case!

You Cracked
The Case!

What Are You
Talking About?

You Were Angry,
Hollering.

When You Tossed
The Phone,

I Suddenly Realized,

When We Drove Up To
The Baxters' Place,

Hard On The Heels

Of The Furious
Mr. Baxter,

Do You Recall
Where His Car Was?

In The Garage.

Exactly.
Backed In...

Carefully...
Calmly...

Not The Way
A Frenzied Person,

g*n In Hand,

Rushes Over To Have It
Out With His Wife.

Good Job, Bert.

Yeah, Maddie,
It's David.

I Didn't Wake
You, Did I?

No. You Ought To
Come Down Here

And Pick Me Up.

We Just Cracked
The Case.

Can I Ask You Something?

Mind If I Turn
The Radio On First?

You Know, I've Spent
The Last Few Days

Wondering How You Feel

And Constantly Asking You
How You Feel.

Then This Morning
It Dawned On Me

That If Only I Would
Stop Asking You,

Then You Could
Stop Denying,

And Maybe We Could
Stop Fighting.

Because I Know How
You Feel, David.

I Know.

David, What You And I
Have Is Like Nothing

I've Ever Heard Of.

Maybe I'm Afraid Of It.
Maybe I'm Not Strong Enough.

But If The Day They Close
The Book On Us, It Says:

"We Never Got Married,
And We Never Had A Child,"

Well, That's Ok...

Because What We Have,

What We Are,
What We're Going To Be...

Goes Beyond
Licenses And Vows.

It's In Our Hearts
And In Our Minds.

Only You Know,

And Only I Know.

So...

As Long As It
Doesn't Mean

I Got To Quit
Trying.

[Knock Knock]

What Is It? What Are
You Two Doing Here?

We Need To
Talk To You.

Now? Can It Wait?

Then We'd Have
To Come Back.

I Don't Feel Much Like
Entertaining At This Hour.

We Just Need You
To Answer A Question.

You Said Earlier
That Mr. Baxter

Left Here
In A Big Rage?

Yes. I Have Never
Seen Him So Upset.

Well, Now, You See,

That's What We
Don't Understand.

Why Would A Man
Who Was This Upset,

In A Big Rage,
Out Of Control

To The Point Of
Trying To k*ll His Wife,

Why Would He Take
The Time

To Back His Car
Into The Garage?

Bridget: Is That What You
Came Over Here To Ask Me?

Look, You Saw This Place
And What He Did.

Yeah, We Saw,

But Maybe
That's The Point.

Maybe We Were
Supposed To See It.

I Also Have Some More
News On The Bruise.

It Takes A Little Longer
Than A Few Minutes

To Go From Whack
To Black-And-Blue.

Just What Are You
Trying To Accomplish

With All This
Ridiculous Innuendo?

I Thought You
Weren't In The Mood

For Entertaining?

Who Are You Calling?

Police.

Got To Give Them
An Update

On A Homicide Report.

Lauren: I'm Sorry.

I Took The Liberty
Of Cutting The Line.

You Two Are Friends?

The Mistress
And The Wife?

The Lion And The Lamb?

Lay Down
Together?

David.

I Thought You
Hated Each Other.

Bridget: Oh, We Did.

We Spent Years
Hating Each Other,

Blaming Each Other...

Never Blaming Him.

Years? So All This
Malarkey About This

Being A New Gig
For Mr. Baxter

Was Just A Bunch
Of Hoo-Ha, Huh?

Try 7 Years.

Together: He Saw Both
Of You For 7 Years?

He Was Good In Bed,

But It Was Nothing
Compared To What

He Could Do To Your Head.

He'd Convince You
To Trust Him,

Give You Security,
Make You Feel Safe,

Then Use That Trust
Against You.

He Loved Playing Us
Off Each Other,

Always Making Each Of Us
Feel It Was Our Fault

He Couldn't Leave
The Other Woman.

So While He Was Doing
All This Head Hopping,

You Two Decided To
Throw A Tea Party.

But Why Did You k*ll Him?
Why Not Just Leave?

I Figured After 7 Years
Of Being A Devoted Abusee,

I Deserved More Than
The Best Lawyer

Anthony Could Buy,

Leaving Me With Some
Insignificant Settlement.

So You Planted Bridget's
g*n On Mr. Baxter...

Set Up A Fight And Made It
Look Like Self-Defense.

And Once You Were Out
From Under Mr. Baxter,

You Split The Profits,
Split The Scene.

Not A Bad Scam.

You Should Get Dressed.

I Hear It Can Get Pretty
Drafty In The County Jail.

Whoa, Maddie!

[David Groans]

[Groaning]

David, Are You
All Right?

Forget About Me.
Are You Ok?

I'm Fine.
Come On. Let's Go!

What About The Bambino?
How's The Bambino?

Fine. I'm Fine.
They're Getting Away!

Let Them Go.

Let Them Go?
Let Them Go.

Let Them Go. Who Says
We Got To Catch Them?

where Does It Say
We Got To Catch Them?

We Solved The Crime.

The Guilty Parties
Know Who They Are.

Let Them Get Caught
On Some Other Detective Show.

Let Magnum Catch Them

Or Jake And That Big,
Fat, Chubby Guy.

Or How About That Old Dame,

The One That Won
All The Emmys?

Let Her Get A Collar
Once In A While.

How Many Times
Have We Done This?

30, 40, 50 Times, Maybe?

And Always
The Same Thing.

i Say This Time,
This One Time, We Bow Out.

Better Us Take A Powder

Than Jeopardize
The Future Of Sam Junior.

Leave Sam Out Of This.

Maddie, Maddie, Maddie,
You're Having A Baby.

You Know How These
Chase Scenes Are--

Always Something Stupid,

A Lot Of Running,
Hopping, Bopping Around.

I Refuse To Let You Do
This Chase Scene With Me.

Fine. I'll
Do It Myself!

[Chuckles]

[Door Closes]

That's All Right.

You Know I'll
Be There With Her.

ok, Ok, Ok,
But Let Me Drive!

Seat Belt Fastened?

Yes.
Let's Go Already.

I Got A Lot Of
Responsibility Here,

You Know?

David, You're Going
20 Miles Per Hour.

Slow And Steady
Wins The Race.

Come On!

[Horn Honks]

Ok, Maddie, This Is
Where You Get Off.

Out.

But, David!

We Can't Let These Two Women
Get Away With m*rder.

I'll Take Care
Of Them.

You Just Stay
Right Here, All Right?

Knit Some Booties
Or Something.

Man: Watch Out!

[Women Scream]

I Can Hear The Ocean!
Ha Ha Ha!

[Whistling]

Lovely Morning.

Yeah,
I Guess, It Is.

Yeah. One
Of Those Mornings

When You Just Can't
Help But Whistle--

[Horns Honking]

Hey!

Mailman: What The
Hell Are You Doing?

Aah!

Way To Go, Maddie!

Ha Ha Ha Ha!

Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck!
Missed Me!

Aah!

Oh! Ooh!

Together: Aah!

Oh!

Oh!

Oh, For Pete's Sake!

David, Be Careful!

What?
I Said, Be Careful!

David: Aah!

[Women Screaming]

I Always Knew

Hopping From Bed To Bed
Was Dangerous!

Come Here.

Let Me Go!

Ok, Fantasy's Over!

I'm Making
A Citizen's Arrest!

Come On, David.

You And I Both Know

You're Letting These
Women Do This To You.

Oh, Sorry. That Was
The Long Arm Of The Law.

Well, Maddie,

I Guess We Can Put
This Case To Bed.

Well...

You, Me, A Bed.

Nice Way To End
An Episode.

It Was Fun.

Seems Like
Old Times.

Yeah.

I Want You To Put
Your Ring On, Maddie.

My Ring?

Yeah. Your Ring.

Probably In Here
Somewhere, Isn't It?

You Know...

That Walter Bishop...

Is A Pretty Lucky Guy.

Thanks.

Captioning Made Possible By
Lions Gate Home Entertainment

Captioned By The National
Captioning Institute

--TC6 WAS HERE--

♪ So Come Walk The Night ♪

♪ Come Fly By Day ♪

♪ Something Is Sweeter ♪

♪ 'cause We Met On The Way ♪

♪ Moonlighting Strangers ♪

♪ Who Just Met On The Way ♪

♪ Who Just Met On The Way ♪