02x19 - Luella

[bunniefuu]

I'm waiting for an old friend,
whom...l haven't seen in ten years,

and who's been married for nine.

The question is, what's his wife like
and will she like me?

I think maybe she will.

Most women like a man
with a bad reputation.

Mind you, I'm not really bad.

It's just that I am not troubled
by my wicked thoughts.

In fact, I rather enjoy them.
It's all perfectly natural.

(Flight announcement on tannoy)

Man may have evolved from the trees,
but his eyes still swing from limb to limb.

Why give up bachelorhood,

when the benefits of connubiality
are all around me?

Simon! (Laughs) It's wonderful
to see you.

- How are you?
- Never better. How about you?

Just great, sensational.
You look marvellous!

- So do you.
- You haven't changed in ten years.

Neither have you.

- Gosh, the times we had!
- They sure were the days.

They sure were.
Gosh, I'm glad to see you.

- Me too.
- (Friend) Hey! You know...

(Clears throat)

- Honey, I'm sorry. I got carried away.
- To say the least.

This is one of the greatest friends
I ever had.

- True blue, honest as the day is long...
- You're the famous Simon Templar?

The bank decided to open a department
in London. They asked me to set it up.

- How long do you think you'll be here?
- Six months. Maybe a year.

That's great. What about the boys?

With my parents in Detroit.
You'll see them during the summer.

I don't think I'll get used to you
being an international banker.

I'm a darn lucky guy, Simon.

You can say that again.
Doris, you look great.

- Doesn't she?
- Thank you.

- Drink?
- I'll wait till the restaurant.

- How do you like London?
- She loves it.

- It's a little soon to tell. Don't overdo it.
- This is only my third.

Bill says you're going to be here a year.

Oh, I doubt it will be that long.

At least long enough for us to have some
gay old times, just like we used to.

Meaning before you were married?

Honey, with you along
it's going to be even better.

- Oh, yes?
- Yes, mm.

- Somebody said London's a man's town
- (Phone)

...and English women stick to the kitchen.

Hello? Doris? Yeah, she's right here.
Just a minute.

It's Jean.

Hello.

Her sister lives in Paris.
She's having a baby.

Hello, Jean. How are you, dear?

Hospital? But the baby's not due
for two weeks yet, is it?

Of course I will. Yes, right away.

Well, tonight, if I can.

Don't be frightened.
I'll be there as soon as possible.

Yes, dear. Bye-bye.

Can I get a flight to Paris tonight?

We were lucky, Mr Harvey. One seat
on the next Air France flight to Paris.

Mrs Harvey ought to leave
for the airport immediately.

- Thanks very much.
- Will Mrs Harvey be gone long?

About a week. Her sister's having a baby.

Here's that list of estate agents
you wanted.

- One of them ought to find you a flat.
- That's very kind of you. Thanks.

- I'll see you.
- Yes, indeed.

- Send a birthday card to Aunt Ellen.
- Yes.

Promise you'll look for an apartment.
We can't live in a hotel forever.

Your tweed jacket. I thought you could
have leather patches on the elbows.

Here's a list so you don't forget anything.

- I hate to leave you in London all alone.
- I'll manage.

- You won't get into trouble?
- You know me.

My idea of an orgy is lemon squash
and oatmeal cookies.

Well... Simon, look after him for me
and don't lead him astray.

I'll be a saint, I swear it.

OK. Bye-bye.
I'll telephone if anything happens.

Bye, Doris.

(Tannoy announcement)

OK, Simon.
This is your town, where do we start?

What exactly did you have in mind?

Nightlife, gambling, booze.

And most of all, dames.

Wheel

- Weren't much for girdles, were they?
- Ha ha ha(!)

I promised Doris
I wouldn't lead you astray, remember?

(Ship's horn)

(Speech inaudible)

And that influenced
the whole course of history.

Are the pubs open yet?

Cheers.

How long does this go on?

I promised Doris
I'd give you a cultural tour.

So now I'm cultured.
Tonight we go out on the town, OK?

Nope, an early night. I've seats for
Trooping the Colour tomorrow at .

Simon, once and for all...

lam not going to
the Trooping of the Colour.

(Sergeant Major) Present arms!

Stay awake.
You may never see this again.

I can guarantee it.

- Who is that?
- Who?

That gorgeous girl
in the white dress and the blue hat.

Oh, yeah?
Well, why isn't she wearing a crown?

What are you? My friend or my keeper?

- Bill, I promised Doris...
- Doris is in Paris, we are in London.

If you don't take me out on the town,
I'll go by myself.

- Heaven forbid.
- I mean it. I want some nightlife.

Dancing, booze, dames, gambling.

Something fancy.
Like chemin defer or roulette.

- You have never gambled in your life.
- I can learn, can't I?

Famous last words.
Come on, international banker.

Dix-sept, noir.

I lost again. I'm down to my last £ .

Let's cash it in and get out of here.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- You've had bad luck tonight.
- Unlucky in cards, lucky in love.

Are we going to cash in that chip?

- My chip'.
- Les 'yeux sent iaits'.!

Fifteen.

Fifteen!

- I won?
- Thirty-five hundred pounds!

I won!

Oh, boy! Let's go!
Tonight we are going to have a ball.

That's what I'm afraid of.

(whooping)

There we go.

And here's to the most beautiful girl
in the world.

Oh, waiter... Waiter?

(Screams piercingly)

How dare you! Help me!

How dare you!

Good evening. You look terrible.

- Even my hair hurts.
- What did you do with yourself today?

Looking at flats. About .

- See any you liked?
- Horrible, all of them.

You wouldn't be interested
in doing the town again tonight?

- Gambling, something special...
- I am going to be in bed in half an hour.

- It's only seven o'clock.
- Good. hours in bed.

- No dinner?
- I'm going to have soup sent up.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Nothing for me. I never touch it.

It's going to be tomato juice for me
from now on.

I'm glad to hear that.

I'm sorry. I'm too b*at even to talk. Just
leave me in my misery and I'll be fine.

All right. I'll call you in the morning.

Sleep well...swinger!

(sighs)

(Groans)

- How about a nice cold beer?
- A lager, sir?

Beautiful.

Oh!

- A very dry, very cold Martini, please.
- Yes, madam.

- Thank you.
- It's a pleasure.

- Lovely clay, isn't it?
- Yes, lovely.

- I just love days like this.
- Yes, so do I.

- Wonderful.
- What is?

I just love people who love days like this.

It's as simple as that.
Make me one of those too, bartender.

- Certainly, sir.
- Fine.

Do you, erm... Do you live in London?

- Yes, I do.
- Mm.

London's a pretty big city to live in,
isn't it?

I mean, er, if you live all alone, that is.

Er, yes.

Do you?

- Do I what?
- Live alone.

Yes. At the moment.

You mean, prior to this, you, erm...you...

You're very curious.

- Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so stupid.
- That's all right.

- Martini, sir.
- Thank you.

Are you meeting somebody?

- It looks as if he won't turn up.
- That's a shame.

It is. I'm going to Spain tomorrow
for six months,

and I'd rather hoped
to rent this gentleman my flat.

No kidding? You have
an apartment you want to rent?

- What's so strange about that?
- I've been looking for flats all clay.

I'm sure(!)

No, I'm being absolutely honest
with you.

I've just arrived from America
and I don't have many friends here.

And I'm honestly looking for
a place to live.

Since this friend of yours
isn't going to show up,

would you have dinner with me? Please.

Well, I am rather partial to Americans.

You know, Luella, it's something,
meeting you like this.

It's fate. We were made for each other.

- Don't you agree?
- Completely.

No, you think I'm giving you a line.
Well, you're wrong.

Honest, I'm looking for an apartment.

From what you've told me, yours sounds
marvellous. Could I see it tonight?

I've left it in rather a mess.

I don't mind an unmade bed.
I mean, you know...anything.

Well, Bill, seeing it's you...

Oh! It's fabulous. Absolutely fabulous.

- Do you really like it?
- Yes. Can I rent it? Please?

I'd feel very comfortable knowing
it was being taken care of by nice people.

Then at £ a week, it's a deal, right?

A deal.

Has anyone ever told you
you're a terribly attractive man?

Go ahead.

You're sweet. Mmm, but you're so warm.

Poor darling.

Holy cow!

Take off that nasty old jacket.

That's better. Now, how would you like
to make us a drink?

- Fine, yeah.
- Vodka and tonic for me.

I'll be right back, darling.

Hoo hoo!

You sure are a beautiful looking girl.

Am I, darling?

Oh, my poor sweet.

So warm...

Barbecued.

Ticklish.

- At last!
- Matt!

This time, Luella, you have gone too far.

- He's only a friend.
- Indeed!

I'd never met him until tonight.

And that is your excuse
for this immoral behaviour?

Luella, who is this guy?

- My husband.
- What?!

Yes, sir.
I have the unfortunate distinction

to be married to this... this...!

It won't be for long.
I've been after this evidence for months.

- Now you've got it, Mr Joyson.
- Matt, listen.

Be silent.

I shall see my solicitor in the morning
and initiate divorce proceedings.

Now... Now, look, I...

I'm sorry to involve you in this, sir.

Doubtless you received
plenty of encouragement.

I regret that I must name you
as co-respondent.

- Oh, no...
- It seems unfair, I know.

I've been after this evidence for months.
It's cost me a great deal of money.

More than I can afford.

Well, yes, but... How, er...
How much would it take

to keep your detective until he found
evidence involving somebody else?

How much do I owe you to date,
Mr Kermein?

£ , , sir.

You see, sir, I have no choice.

Now, look. I've just won a great deal
of money. A great deal of money.

And you see, I work for
a very conservative institution.

It's more than worth it to me
to keep this thing all silent.

- Well, sir, if you are sure...
- Oh, yes, I'm sure. Now, keep it, take it.

Mr Kermein,

destroy that photograph.

Exposed.

- Thank you. Good night.
- Good night.

Good night, Luella.

(Laughs)

Don't worry, I've still got it.

- My key.
- Good evening, Mr Harvey.

Or good morning. You had a call
from Paris three hours ago, sir.

My sister-in-law must have had
her baby. Good night.

Good evening, Mr Harvey.
Something wrong, sir?

Not something. Everything.

Mr Harvey, isn't that your wife?

Listen, do anything you want.
Knock her down, anything! But stall her.

A key?
I don't want to wake my husband.

- As a matter of fact...
- I'll take Mrs Harvey's key, John.

Thank you.

Good night.

UP, UP, up, up, up! Come on!

- Strange.
- Why aren't we moving?

- I don't know, madam.
- Well, why...?

Er... How was Paris, madam?

It was wonderful. It's so... French.

Yes.

Oh!

- Thank you very much.
- Not at all, Mrs Harvey. Good night.

- Sorry, darling. The wind blew it shut.
- Oh, honey, what are you doing back?

- Jean had a false alarm.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

- You been in bed long?
- For ages. What time is it?

About : .
I took the midnight flight from Paris.

- I phoned you about .
- I was at a movie with Simon.

- Oh, really? What did you see?
- Er... Cleopatra.

- Again?
- Well, Simon hadn't seen it.

A man can take
quite a bit of Elizabeth Taylor.

- Or Luella.
- Luella?

- Luella.
- Who's she?

Well, suppose you tell me. I found
her handkerchief in your coat pocket.

- Oh. Was that in my pocket?
- Yes, it was in your coat pocket.

You! You amateur playboy!

I'd like... l...

Now, Doris! Be careful.

So, my dark-eyed,
chocolate-hearted husband

thinks he can change his women
like he changes his socks, does he?

- Of course not.
- What did she do?

- Who?
- Luella.

Did she play Here Comes The Bride and
you got so warm you burst into flames?

Doris, she tricked me.

Tricked you?

You... You liar!

So I paid them the £ , .

The photographer exposed the plate
and I went home.

He exposed the plate?

William, for an international banker,
you're as square as a safety deposit box.

A Speed Graphic has two plates.

They still have one, and they'll be back
in no time for more of the green stuff.

- I wonder if cremation is painful.
- How much does Doris know?

- She found Luella's handkerchief.
- And what about the £ , ?

- I didn't mention that.
- How did she react to the handkerchief?

She said if I was going back to nature,
she was going back to Detroit.

- She's going home?
- On the five o'clock plane.

- We have to stop her.
- It would take an H-b*mb.

- Where does Luella live?
- Vincent Square, .

- In there?
- In there.

I wonder whether they're really married.

I wonder if I am.

I'd give ten years
to know what they're talking about.

That's ... ... .

- There you are.
- Thanks, Matt.

You're welcome. If you come across
any more easy marks, let us know.

Be glad to. Easiest dough I ever made.

Well, goodbye, Mrs Joyson.

- Goodbye.
- Keep in touch.

Sure. So long.

That's fifty quid to the porter, fifty
to Kermein for taking the photo.

That's £ , clear profit.

Not bad for one night's work.

I was good, wasn't I?

Darling, you were superb. Much better
than anything you ever did in repertory.

- I wish I was back in the theatre.
- You're kidding.

I've a flair for it.
I might have been a great star.

You might have been a lot of things.
A star isn't one.

Hey, I've seen him.

- Oh? Where?
- He's the head porter at the hotel.

What do you suppose he's doing
in Luella's building?

Maybe his mother lives there.

Maybe. Or he and Luella
could be working a deal.

He tips her off about likely looking...

- Suckers?
- Exactly. And she swings into action.

He knew Doris was going to Paris.
He got the ticket for her.

It's all beginning to fit.

Bill, go back to the hotel.
I'm going to check on Luella.

You have to talk Doris
into being reasonable.

I'm going to tell the truth. All of it.
Honesty's the best policy.

- Doris, I'm a normal, healthy man.
- Oh, you're healthy, all right.

I don't chase women. You know that.

All through college,
I went to drive-in movies all alone.

- Oh, Bill!
- I did.

You're not really going to leave me,
are you?

- Talk to my lawyer.
- Lawyer? You're going to divorce me?

Just as fast as Michigan law will allow.

- But you can't.
- Can't I?

- No, you can't.
- We'll see about that.

- Darling, think of the boys.
- Well, you didn't.

Look, sweetheart,
we have to talk this over.

Listen to me.
Let's talk like two sensible people.

Let go of me, Bill.

- Now look what you've done.
- What I've done?

All your life you've gotten into trouble
and blamed it on somebody else.

You jealous...

nasty... stubborn...

Tell it to Luella.

Luella picked me up.

Well, she can have you.

- She doesn't want me.
- Well, neither do I.

- You're not going to leave this hotel.
- Let go of my brassiere!

(Ripping)

Now, now...

You are absolutely crazy! A mental case.

Yes, to have married you.

- Now, Bill...
- Ah! Ooh!

You will leave this room
over my dead body.

Now, look, will you give me seconds

and just stand still
and shut up and listen?

Ten!

Luella is a criminal.

All the police in Europe
are looking for her.

I don't believe it.

I was the innocent victim
of a diabolical plot.

I could have been m*rder*d.

Now will you sit down and listen?

I'm sorry, but we never give out personal
information about our tenants.

I admire that tremendously.
But the fact is...

You're not!

Yes. And Mrs Joyson is one of them.

Heavens. What will Mr Compton say?

Quite frankly,
we're not sure about him either.

In that case,
I'll tell you everything I know.

Mr and Mrs Joyson
moved in about four months ago.

They're on a month to month basis.
Oh, dear, I'm so frightened.

You don't have to be.
We'll take good care of you.

You will? Oh! You people in Ml
lead such exciting lives.

We do, don't we?

Thank you very much, sir.

- Then what happened?
- You know, darling,

Luella's quite plain.
You could almost call her ugly.

How did she know
you were looking for a flat?

Simon thinks
the head porter tipped her off.

- What?
- Can you imagine?

But darling, the way she described it!

It sounded like Buckingham Palace.

I wanted to provide adequate shelter
for my wife, so I went to see it.

We were no sooner inside the door

when she launched herself at me
like a steamroller.

- How awful!
- Yes, it was pretty bad, I'll tell you.

And then, you know what happens?

The French windows fly open
and there stand two enormous men.

One has a g*n and the other has a Kn*fe.

How terrible.

Yes, they demanded money.

Or said they'd have me arrested for
felonious as*ault and attempted r*pe.

Bl"!

Naturally, I refused to pay them a penny.

I refused. I don't knuckle under
to that sort of thing. Not this kid.

So what happens? There's a fight.
It was three against one.

- So I got out as quickly as I could.
- Naturally.

Luckily, I managed to get
Luella's handkerchief as evidence.

- Are you going to the police?
- Simon's taking care of that.

I wouldn't want to get the bank
messed up in this kind of thing.

Oh, Bill, I've been so wrong.

- Oh, that's all right.
- I'm so ashamed. Can you forgive me?

- Of course.
- I don't deserve it.

Now, Doris, you mustn't blame yourself.

- (Knocking on door)
- Come in.

- Simon! Did you find out anything?
- The pieces are falling into place.

Bill's told me everything.
That woman is a common criminal.

The old badger game.

Get a man in a compromising position
and thr*aten exposure.

- It's disgusting.
- It's worse than that.

Anyway, I think I've figured a way of
getting back your £ , and the picture.

What £ , ? What picture?

Well... Er...

You mean to say
you gave that woman £ , ?

- Well, er, I had to.
- Bill, you didn't tell her?

Well, l...

For £ , ,
that must have been some picture!

No, dear.

And where did you get the £ , ?

- Well, I won it.
- You were gambling!

- Oh, no.
- You just said you won it.

- Well, I...
- And what was in the picture?

- Nothing, nothing.
- For £ , ?

- And what was Luella wearing?
- I don't know. Nothing.

- Nothing?
- Nothing special, I mean!

- Lies! The two of you are in it together.
- Now, Doris...

- You sex fiend!
- Will you please cool off?

Never'.

You and your big mouth!

Honesty's the best policy.

- (Clears throat)
- Sir?

Would you like to earn
some easy money?

- That depends.
- What time do you finish?

- Three o'clock.
- Be at my place at : .

- What's the proposition?
- Foolproof and simple.

I'll be there.

It's the old badger game.
You supply the suckers.

- I just gave Luella his name.
- And she paid you.

- Yes, but I had no idea she was...
- Come off it.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

- You can't prove it.
- Oh, can't I?

I've been doing
a little checking up on you, my friend.

Two convictions for fraud.

With my testimony, you'll get five years.

- What are you doing?
- Calling the police.

No, don't do that. I'll do anything
you say. Anything. Honest..

All right. You'll tell Luella
you've met another rich American.

The biggest sucker yet.

Samuel P Taggart.

This is the best mark Potter's dug up
for us since we started working with him.

Matt, it's too soon.

Samuel P Taggart, Boston, Mass.
President of the Relco Corporation.

Personal fortune,
approximately ten million dollars!

- You're kidding!
- There's more.

Director of the following companies -
General Motors, Standard Oil, US Steel,

Bank of America, General Electric, lCl.

Heavens!

Married, two daughters. Alone in London
as Director for the United Nations lmCo.

- What's that?
- Mm?

ImCo. Inter-Government
Maritime Consultive Organisation.

- Staying at the Grand.
- The Grand? Again?

- Why not?
- It's dangerous. It's too soon.

His wife and daughters arrive on Friday.

- Matt, I don't know.
- Luella, hustle over to that hotel.

Knock him over tonight.
We fly to Paris tomorrow.

- Well, if you think so.
- I'm never wrong about these things.

The easiest mark of our entire career
is Mr Samuel P Taggart.

- Evening, madam.
- Good evening. A dry sherry, please.

Certainly, madam.

(Coughs)

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

- Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
- Think nothing of it.

- But I've spilt it all over your suit.
- Think nothing of it.

I'm frightfully sorry. I do apologise.

Then I will forgive
your astounding carelessness,

if you will allow me
to buy you another of those.

Under the circumstances,
I can hardly refuse.

Barman. Bring the little lady
another one of those.

This is the nicest thing that's happened
to me since I've been in London.

- Really?
- Oh, London can be awfully lonely

when you don't know anyone.

It can be the loneliest city in the world.

- Mind you, it is charmin' and fascinatin'.
- Oh, very.

It has tradition, real tradition.
Like Boston.

- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.

You're far more than welcome.
This is what you call a "fiver", isn't it?

- Yes, they all are.
- Your English money confuses me so.

I see.

- You're expecting someone?
- I'd hoped so,

but it's beginning to look
as if he won't turn up.

- What a shame!
- It's not, actually.

- A very dull cousin from Liverpool.
- Well, in that case...

you wouldn't think it presumptuous
if I were to invite you to dinner?

On the contrary. I think
that would be absolutely charming.

This one looks like you, Mr Taggart.

Thank you, but why don't you
call me Sam?

My wife calls me Samuel,
but I kinda like Sam. It's more friendly.

- All right, Sam.
- That's better.

My friends call me Luella,
and I'm sure you're my friend.

Yes, well, er... This is, er...

There it is, my summer place.

Your summer place?

Don't get to use it much now.
The water's too shallow for my yacht.

- Yacht?
- Well, yes, it's not really a yacht.

Only sleeps ,
and my wife doesn't like sailing.

The fact is, Luella, and I know
you won't take this wrongly,

my wife doesn't understand me.

Sam, you did say your wife and
daughters were arriving on Friday.

(Unenthusiastically) Yes.
I can't wait to see them.

I'm sure.

The trouble is,
I have to find a place to live.

What had you in mind?

Nothing elaborate. Being with the United
Nations, I can't have ostentation.

- You know, it's extraordinary.
- What is?

It happens that I've got quite
a charming flat. Perfect for four people.

You don't say.

And on Friday, I'm going to Spain
for six months.

You mean...
you might be interested in renting it?

To the right people, yes.

- Do you think I could see it?
- Of course.

- Tonight?
- Well, it's pretty late.

It's in a frightful mess.

What's a little mess between...friends?

- Luella, it's exactly what I need.
- You really like it?

Suits me, and I know
that Barbara Anne'll be crazy about it.

I'd feel very comfortable, knowing it was
being taken care of by nice people.

Well then, at £ a week, it's a deal.

A deal.

Has anyone ever told you
you're a terribly attractive man?

Luella, it's got awfully hot here, hasn't it?

Oh, well, take that nasty, hot jacket off.

Mm-mm.

That better?

How about making us a drink?

- Any preference?
- Vodka and tonic for me.

I'll be right back, darling.

Wow!

Luella, you ain't seen anything yet.

- At last!
- Matt, listen!

This time, Luella, you have gone too far.

L, sir, have the unfortunate distinction
to be married to this...

Madame, do I understand we are here
on the same errand?

The brute! After all I've done for him.

I've given him two children
and the best years of my life.

- Barbara Anne, I...
- I don't know how it happened.

Be silent, woman!

Madam, don't you bother your pretty...
(Coughs) ..little head about a thing.

Just leave all the details to me.

I'll see my solicitor in the morning
and you can contact me at my club.

The Athenaeum,
any time after three o'clock.

I'll do anything I can to help.
Come, Mr Kermein.

- Barbara Anne, I...
- Don't you ever dare speak to me again.

I've got a picture of you and this creature
that any court in America will uphold.

- Well, Luella, honey...
- Oh, go to Massachusetts, will you?

- I'm mighty sorry this happened, Luella.
- So am I. Good night.

Don't you think
we should comfort each other?

- I said, good night.
- But Luella, honey...

Get out of here, you Boston scrod!

- It's fantastic.
- Yeah, bad luck.

Stinking lousy luck.

Taggart has enough money
to buy up the Bank of England.

Who would dream
his wife would get there first?

Matt, we're in trouble.

Mrs Taggart's got a picture of Luella
in her husband's arms.

Suppose, somehow,
one of our old suckers saw it?

- Extortion.
- And blackmail.

- And Dartmoor.
- For about years.

(Phone)

- Hello?
- Luella. It's me.

Did you get rid of everybody?

Where the devil are you?
What's going on?

There's liable to be real trouble over
this. We're going to France, fast.

Get the passports, the pictures and
the cash, and leave by the fire escape.

The car's parked in the alley
behind the building.

We will meet you there in five minutes.

Five minutes!

Well, I don't want any trouble either.
All right, I'll hurry.

Somehow, something smells.

I don't know what it is,
but it's something.

Just because the guy's wife gets there
the same time we do?

I'm sure it's a coincidence.
But let's not hang around to find out, eh?

No, come on.

- Good evening, gentlemen.
- Taggart!

- And the other one.
- Harvey, from Detroit.

Now, look here!

First of all, Bill, your £ , .

- Ah-ah! Mine!
- Mine.

- Yours.
- You're learning.

On the back of these photographs
are the addresses of the victims.

So I suggest we divvy up the remainder
amongst them.

A lot of gentlemen
will get a pleasant surprise.

- Will they not?
- Could I have the mink cape?

- I suppose you've earned it.
- Thank you!

Besides, it's no good to me.

Well, I... guess that's all.

- (Clears throat)
- Hey!

- We've forgotten Smith.
- Oh, how could we?

The most valuable attribute of a waiter
is that nobody notices him.

- You were marvellous.
- Thank you, Mrs Harvey.

- Shall we say £ for your trouble?
- That's far too much, sir.

That's all right, then, isn't it?

Thank you, sir.

Er, Bill?

If you hadn't been interrupted
with Luella,

how far would things have gone?

Doris!

OK.

OK? You concentrate
on finding us a place to live.

- All right.
- (Knocking on door)

- Ah, Miss Hills. Come in.
- The keys.

- You fixed it?
- Yes, I did.

- Well done.
- It worked out just as you said it would.

The Joysons have left
and this apartment is available,

for your friends in the FBI.

I just can't wait for my next assignment.
Me, working for James Bond!

- Mm?
- I'm so excited.

You're not just teasing me, are you?
You really are James Bond?