04x05 - The Persistent Parasites

[bunniefuu]

You ever had the wind taken out of your sails

on a power-driven boat?

Well, I have, just now, by them.

Likely, they're on their way to visit

my old friend Waldo Oddington.

Now, only Waldo would dare assemble

an expl*sive trio like that on his idyllic

little island that we're chugging towards right now.

There's Vera, Wilma, Katerina.

You see, it's like this.

What I mean is...

I'll show you..

Excuse me, which one of you ladies is Mrs. Waldo Oddington?

I am.

Who wants to know?

He does.

And he invariably finds out anything he wants to know.

How intriguing.

Not the first time that's been said about him.

The fatally magnetic Simon Templar.

I don't like it.

Me neither.

What are you smoking?

It is uncharacteristic of Waldo.

Once an episode in his life is finished, it's finished.

Each of us is an episode.

Why does he suddenly call us back to him?

His cable to me hinted at a surprise.

Maybe he's gonna give us each a million bucks.

He always was impulsive.

What confuses me is his new way of life.

After years of traveling around, he's cut

himself off from everything in a remote villa

on a little island.

The way you gals probe,

like Time magazine researchers.

Maybe our joint ex-husband just wants

to see us again for a few days.

Couldn't it be a simple situation like that?

Not with Simon Templar invited too.

Situations tend not to be simple when he's around.

Girls, you look wonderful.

Ah, Vera, as cool as ever, huh?

Katerina, that same enigmatic perfume.

Wilma, oh, you switched to brandy.

Waldo.

Simon, good to see you again.

Look, I want to hear all your adventures

since last we met.

I want to hear yours.

I'm afraid I lead a very placid life

these days, highly predictable.

No surprises at all?

Come and have a welcoming drink, girls,

while your baggage is being unloaded.

Waldo, you didn't drag us all the way here

just to see that you've switched to,

what is it?

Carrot juice.

Oh, revolting.

It depends on the vintage.

I don't know so much about that, Simon,

but I know this is my best year.

The year I've decided to live simply.

You, Waldo, dieting?

Oh, much more than that, Vera.

No, I came down here, bought the villa

just to get away from it all, temporarily.

A few months, and I've decided never to go

back to it all, ever.

Oh no, this is my permanent home now.

I'll never go back to those polluted cities

of the world again.

Fascinating.

But did I fly all the way from Cairo just to hear that?

Patience, Katerina.

That isn't the surprise.

You're going to take up the monastic mode of living?

Not quite.

I'm getting married again.

Congratulations.

Here's to rejuvenation.

I'm sorry I'm so late.

Not at all, your timing, like everything

else about you, is perfect.

Nadine Zoot, this is Vera, Wilma and Katerina.

Enchante, madames.

And this is Mr. Templar.

The celebrated Simon Templar?

You ladies haven't drunk to us yet.

To your happiness, many months of it.

Thank you.

For you.

Merci.

So that was your surprise.

Nice.

It's not the surprise yet.

What an enchanting little basket.

Don't you think so, Wilma?

Crazy.

Weave it yourself, honey?

You can buy them on the shop by the quay.

I'll show you where

and see if your baggage has been unloaded.

Katerina?

Baskets are for peasants and tourists.

How sad you do not remember that I am neither.

Madame Katerina, you think I am marrying

Waldo for his money.

Some marriages are made in heaven,

others in the stock market.

What does Mr. Templar think?

I drink to your true feelings, mademoiselle.

I need air.

Even the fishy air of this vile port.

Ugh.

How I hate women.

I must admit, some of them are not too lovable.

What the hell is Waldo up to?

At the moment, supervising the unloading of our luggage.

Gee, wish I was cool and British.

You can't help being American and anxious, dear.

Oh, nuts.

What's Waldo's diet got to do with it?

Move a little to one side, darling.

A little more.

Hold it there.

Fine, thank you.

Waldo!

You were meant to be m*rder*d, Waldo.

You can literally bet your shirt on it.

Oh ho, that shirt, a coincidence.

A mistake.

The k*ller was after you.

Who'd want to k*ll me?

Exactly, who?

About people, now that you mention it.

You know, as one gets rich, one accumulates

everything but friends.

Any of regiment of enemies own a white speedboat?

If they do, it takes them places.

This thing here gets you nowhere.

Waldo, why did you ask me here?

Not to protect me against some Riviera Jack the Ripper

who's got a thing against sport shirts.

Oh, relax Simon.

There's nothing to worry about.

Until the police investigation comes up

with a convincing motive for the m*rder

of that tourist, there is.

Well then, you worry for me, eh?

I refuse to worry.

It's done more k*lling than knives or even wives!

Speaking of wives--

Which you're eminently qualified to do.

Look, I invited you down here

because you'd really appreciate this little

surprise item of mine.

It's one for the books.

I can't wait, but I'll have to, won't I?

No sunshine for you today, Wilma?

I take it distilled.

Care for a glassful of sunbeams?

It's too early for me to start drinking.

Too late for me to stop.

Who do you suspect?

Everybody

who dislikes Waldo.

How about you?

Hardly know him, honey.

Married him when we were canned in Las Vegas.

Six weeks later, divorced in Reno, still plastered.

In between, we were stoned as a quarry.

Some marriage, all it needed was the choir

of Alcoholics Anonymous singing O, Perfect Love.

Who got custody of the bottles?

Take me off the suspects list, huh?

Can you see me k*lling Waldo and Gs alimony a year?

Which reminds me, time for a little business conference.

Wilma, Katerina.

Where's Vera?

She thinks discussing money is vulgar.

Ho, ho, ho, how right she is!

I don't find it embarrassing,

especially when what I've got to say

can be said good and crisp.

Oh?

Waldo, this is it.

We won't stand for any cuts in our alimony.

This Nadine, she's a ,

a peasant.

Strictly for nothing, are you gonna give her everything?

Don't leave us out.

Cut out on the carrot juice, daddy-o, not on us.

I get the message.

Okay, Mother Russia?

Not quite.

One question.

This surprise...

I'll tell you tonight,

when two final guests arrive,

George McGeorge and Howard Mitchell.

Your nephew?

And your lawyer.

There are some questions one cannot answer.

Mademoiselle, you don't have to answer

any of my questions, but you might try a couple.

One, why did you lose your suntan at the sight

of a certain gentleman in that bistro?

And two, do you know anyone who owns a white speedboat?

You are right.

I do not have to answer your questions.

But if you would ask me do I love Waldo?

I would say yes.

That's touching, but evasive.

Do you believe me?

You must forgive me if, under the circumstances,

a certain doubt creeps in.

You must forgive me.

I must go to meet the rest of the guests

from the night ferry.

You were listening?

But of course.

That's wicked.

So are infidelity, gold digging and m*rder.

One still cares about Waldo, you know.

One doesn't want to see him plundered, betrayed and k*lled.

No, one doesn't.

Hey, come.

No. Mm.

I still say no!

Even if I did not love Waldo--

Love?

I could not stay with you!

I left you because of other women in your life,

not because of another man in mine!

Darling-I loved Waldo afterwards!

You just wish to wipe out the humiliation

of a woman leaving you for a change!

And if this is true, what does this make me?

A man with a man's feelings,

but you, you're selling yourself--

Ugh!

No, ugh!

I say!

Excuse me.

Excuse me, you couldn't tell me the way

to Mr. Oddington's villa?

I'm staying at Mr. Oddington's villa.

Oh, good.

Then you must be Nadine.

Oh, you poor, poor girl.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

I'm George McGeorge, Mr. Oddington's nephew.

Just arrived with Mr. Mitchell.

Mademoiselle Zoot, I am so sorry.

Why are you both so sad?

Well, we heard on the mainland, the whole

coast is buzzing with it, I mean...

You don't mean Uncle Waldo hasn't been m*rder*d?

Why, should he have been?

I say, well, really, what a thing to say.

Really, I can't understand why you're

all so tongue-tied here.

Now, is it such a difficult question to answer?

Simon, would you believe this?

Nobody, but nobody, in this worldly gathering here

is willing to give an opinion on a subject

that's very vital to me.

Health? Wealth!

Look, I merely posed the question, is it possible

for a rich man to be loved for himself alone?

Oh, come on!

A few words each, just to humor me.

Let's begin with my immediate family,

my sole-surviving blood relative, Nephew George.

Well, I've never really thought about it, Uncle Waldo.

I mean, that is, I've always taken my

affection for you for granted.

You work in the city George boy.

How can you take anything for granted?

Of course, if you don't believe me--

All right, you're off the hook.

Ah,

a legal opinion now.

Well, the question is unanswerable

because no answer can satisfy the rich man who asks it.

You see, he can never be sure of the motive

behind either yes or no.

Instinctively, he feels there's some ulterior

purpose behind everything that's said to him.

Love as seen by the law.

Thank you.

Nadine.

I have been happy when poor.

It is the same feeling of happiness I have with you.

To love is to be rich.

Vera.

No, no, it isn't possible to love

a rich man for himself alone.

I tried.

As you know, I failed.

We failed.

Wilma?

Waldo, I can't answer.

Damn it, I don't know what love is.

It never happened to me.

Never felt it for anybody.

And I wish I was screaming drunk.

Poor Wilma.

I wondered if you'd ever learn that much about yourself.

Katerina.

You've never invited love, Waldo.

Three times married, never once in love.

Every time you married, you married for something

the woman represented, not the woman herself.

I represented culture.

To you, I was a walking library.

Oh, one tried to love you, but that's not

what you wanted, so your question applied

to yourself is meaningless.

Not anymore.

What does Mr. Templar think?

Well, Simon, you've got the last word.

When you spring this long-awaited surprise

on these ladies and gentlemen, it will

be the very last word on the subject, won't it?

How about now?

During dinner.

You are without drinks.

I apologize.

Uncle, I must speak to you alone.

Want to change your answer?

Please, uncle, this is serious.

Uncle, this is very hard for me to say, but, uh...

Just so long as it's not hard

for me to understand.

Oh, no, no, not at all.

It's about Nadine.

Well, you see, I've done a check on her

with a private detective.

Oh, what a shame.

You've wasted your money.

What do you mean?

I mean, George boy, that I won't listen

to a word against Nadine.

I say, look here.

I mean.

Uncle Waldo, she just is not respectable.

And you're too respectable!

What?

Just as I thought.

You're suffering from ingrowing bowler hat.

Waldo?

We are going in to dinner now.

How's your appetite, George?

Gone!

I shall take a long walk.

Oh, now you won't be able to tell them at dinner.

No, they must all be present.

Ah, you want a drink?

Why not, I'm paying for it.

Gaston?

No, no, no, it doesn't matter.

I don't want one.

Nothing to celebrate?

Look here, Pierre, I paid you to come

out here and prevent that marriage taking place.

Ah, so you failed as well, huh?

Your uncle was not outraged to hear

of Nadine's liaison with me.

Outraged?

The mesmerized old goat wouldn't even listen to me!

If Nadine marries him--

Look, never mind the useless threats

of what you'll do after the wedding.

What will you do to prevent it?

Anything.

Well, I'm for my little bed.

Sleep terribly, terribly tight, darling.

Good night, Mrs. Oddington.

Mrs. Oddington.

Good night to you, you shapely limb of the law.

Mr. Mitchell, what is Waldo's big surprise?

That's a very direct question.

I want an equally direct answer.

Then I'm afraid I shall have to disappoint you.

Professional ethics.

Plain ignorance.

I just don't know.

Well, if you can't or won't tell us the facts,

maybe you will give us an opinion.

On what?

On Waldo's sanity.

Is it in any doubt?

In doubt?

Symptom: after a lifetime of gourmandizing,

he's gone vegetarian, but gone.

Didn't you see him tonight, eating stewed leaves?

He looks very well on it.

Well then, another symptom, shutting himself

away in this pseudo-Moroccan health club,

a brooding recluse!

Well?

If you insist.

This is my opinion.

No court would pronounce insane a man

who wants to live a long time with his new, young wife.

You're verging on impertinence, Mr. Mitchell.

If I must apologize for speaking the truth, madame,

I do so most respectfully.

Good night.

He'll go far.

If he doesn't go too far.

So you see, Mr. Templar, it is not

a very pleasant story,

but that is beside the point.

Which is?

Do you believe it?

Almost.

What can I do to convince you?

I have finished with Pierre.

I love Waldo!

I have found peace.

You can do nothing.

Waldo will confirm your story in his own time,

for me and everyone else.

The surprise will be no surprise to you?

I think not.

So, now I must ask for direct help.

I have failed, as you know, to persuade Pierre

to leave the island.

He's a very dangerous man.

You will protect Waldo and watch over him?

That's already done.

Well, one more thing.

Earlier this evening, you mentioned to me

a white speedboat.

This puzzled me.

Me too.

Shall we go in?

Thank you.

Are you sure you want to go through with this

scheme in this particular way?

This must break your legal heart.

Yes, I'm sure.

Howard, look, I intend to live a long time,

but, should I die laughing when all this is made known,

well, it would be a good way to go.

As you wish.

Now, where's the document?

Here.

Thank you.

Moonlight becomes you .

You are too kind.

And to be true.

Have you been giving this pretty child

tuition in repartee, Mr. Templar?

I'm delighted to say it seems to be happening naturally.

So many delightful things happen

naturally during a quiet stroll in a secluded garden

when one is young.

Do you remember?

I never forget!

Anything!

Shall we continue our discussion, Monsieur Echard?

Ugh, oomph!

Ugh!

I say, what's going on?

You tell me.

You can, you know.

How would I know?

The man's mad!

I heard a noise.

I came down to investigate.

The only noise you heard was when

you opened that door to let him in.

Now, look here.

You know him?

Ah, so that strikes home, does it?

What has happened?

Who is this?

Why don't you introduce your chum?

All right, this is Pierre Echard,

and he has a perfect right to be here,

since he knows my uncle's fiancee, intimately.

And it's time we met.

Yes, it certainly is.

Uncle, just listen to what he can tell you about her.

That's what I brought him up here for,

to talk to you, just to talk to you.

At one in the morning?

I have no need to explain my timing to you, Mr. Templar.

Or your motive to anybody.

You're out to prevent the marriage

and to ensure your inheritance.

The inheritance is a factor, certainly,

I do not deny it, but I also aim to save

my uncle from a woman obviously even more of a parasite

than his three ex-wives put together!

George, you've gone to a lot of trouble

to arrange this meeting between Monsieur Echard and myself.

I'm agreeable to it taking place, in private.

You stay, Nadine.

George? I'm staying here.

Waldo's asked you quite politely to leave.

It seems you won't.

That's right.

That's wrong.

Now, look here, I'm staying here!

Take your hands off me!

Save your breath, Monsieur Echard.

I'll summarize what Nadine's already told

me about her relationship with you

and her life in Paris.

I believe that you first met while you

were still a student at the Sorbonne.

Nadine was working Mr. Templar.

I found myself intrigued.

By what's going on down there?

Well, no.

By what would be going on up here if I wasn't present.

What do you mean by that?

A man of your reputation, would you be eavesdropping?

It really isn't necessary.

I have a hunch that nothing Monsieur Echard

can say will come as a surprise to Waldo.

I see she's told you everything.

You have nothing to add.

Monsieur Oddington, your nephew wanted me

to lie about Nadine, to invent details

of a really bad life lived by her.

It wouldn't have had any affect on me.

I know that now.

And the past is not important.

Only the future.

Uh!

Uh huh.

Oui.

Oui.

Merci.

The mainland police will be here in the morning.

Well, thank heaven for small mercies.

Some professional investigators on the scene at last.

Huh, Simon Templar.

Where is he?

Why don't you work out first, darling, where you are.

You look as if you hadn't the slightest idea.

Oh, it's a miracle she heard the g*nsh*t at all.

When you pass out, darling, you do it with style.

How'd you like a Pennsylvania punch

on your mustached mouth You just try it.

How can you, you women?

And you George?

Bickering and joking when Waldo is...

Well!

Yes, and that reminds me, although it is

only of academic interest now, I suppose,

but how did my uncle react to your true confessions?

I'll tell you how I react to you.

You disgust me.

That is some achievement.

I ask, where is Simon Templar?

Please leave me alone!

, pounds?

Where did you get this?

Waldo's safe.

I did not know Waldo had an insurance policy

on his life for that amount.

Or that he had written to the insurance

company inquiring how much he'd get if he cashed it in?

I do not understand.

The carbon copy is very clear.

A millionaire in need of cash, why?

Simon, he was penniless, through bad investments.

That was the surprise he had for all those

vultures downstairs.

He wouldn't have been exactly penniless

when the policy was cashed in.

I knew nothing of the policy.

He did not tell me.

But, of course, he could not.

He had to be sure of my love.

I had to marry him believing there was no money.

Simon, who would have benefited?

Who gets the , pounds on Waldo's death?

The letter doesn't tell us,

but the white speedboat will.

A white speedboat, monsieur, with a little cabin,

oh yes, I see her come in yesterday morning.

One of a fleet, they are for rental by Monsieur

Phillippe of Cannes.

Merci. Merci.

I told you Michel would know every boat

from the mainland.

Now, will you tell me why you are

so obsessed with this speedboat?

The white speedboat arrived just before the first

m*rder attempt when the wrong man was k*lled,

and it left immediately after.

I'll be very surprised if the speedboat

enthusiast doesn't turn out to be

the beneficiary under that insurance policy.

Hmm, police,

under the bureaucratic authority of Colonel Latignant.

You know him?

Yes, Latignant has the mind of a filing cabinet

and about as much intuition as a rubber stamp.

He will question everyone exhaustively and get nowhere.

It just isn't his kind of case.

Monsieur Templar.

Yes, Colonel?

On this idyllic little island,

people usually only k*ll time.

You arrive, immediately they k*ll each other.

You turn a precise phrase, Colonel.

You're mademoiselle Nadine Zoot?

Oui.

My condolences, mademoiselle.

Thank you.

On to business!

I wish to question everyone exhaustively.

You will be going to mainland afterwards?

No.

But there is no ferry till tonight.

The police launch will have to do,

with your invaluable help.

I need a drink.

When you have answered my questions

concerning last night's m*rder, madame!

I was asleep, courtesy of Napoleon brandy.

You did not hear a sh*t?

I want a sh*t and a lawyer.

Madame, the only advocate in the vicinity

is Monsieur Mitchell.

He is occupied.

He is examining the papers of Monsieur Oddington.

You don't have any witnesses that you

were in bed at that time.

Witnesses?

What is it that you want?

The launch has been stolen.

What did you say?

The launch has been stolen.

Imbecile, you don't have to record what he says!

Who stole it?

How?

Templar.

Colonel, join me?

You like you need a drink.

Get out!

You, of course, are English.

Why is it necessary to establish that, Colonel?

Do you hunt, fish and sh**t?

Oh yes, but never at the same time.

You say you were also in bed.

With Dostoyevsky.

I read Crime and Punishment once a year.

I live with him every day of my life, madame,

won't you sit down?

Why don't you sit down?

You are, obviously, a woman of exceptional

intelligence, subtlety, sophistication.

I cook borsht well too.

Who do you suspect?

Everybody, but me.

, but why

should I exclude you?

I have brains.

I escaped from Russia at the height of Stalin's terror.

Now, is it possible that I would suddenly

become so stupid as to k*ll without motive?

Without motive but l'amour, madame, l'amour.

Garbage, Colonel, garbage, at the lowest

level of my self-interest.

How would I benefit to m*rder my meal ticket?

You're most practical.

Very.

Back in the USSR, I was an engine driver.

Stalin was crazy to let you go.

Stalin was crazy, period.

Thank you, Monsieur Phillippe.

Any colleague of Colonel Latignant's, monsieur.

This is the boat that went to the island

yesterday, isn't it?

I am certain, monsieur.

Four of the boats are being serviced.

Six are engaged by people I have known a number of years.

One I keep for myself.

If you saw a boat on the island yesterday,

it must be this one.

What was the name of the man who hired it?

A woman, monsieur.

I have never seen her.

The rental was arranged by post one month ago.

Her name was Smith, I presume?

Brown.

A pair of men's glasses.

Now, look, we have admitted to conspiring

to prevent the marriage.

And me, we both of us had our reasons.

Mine was not money.

And mine was, so what?

I do not want the colonel to believe

that is what we had in common.

The colonel also does not believe that you

were here at one o'clock in the morning

to discuss the morals of Mademoiselle Zoot.

He was, at my insistence!

I wanted my uncle to hear the truth about Nadine,

and I certainly did not want her to be present.

She has such a hold on him!

And yet, she was present at this bizarre interview,

and you were not.

Where were you?

In my room, of course.

Are you sure you were not in the garden?

Now, look here!

Are you accusing me of murdering my uncle?

You were almost thrown out of this room

by Monsieur Templar.

You left, no doubt, in a great rage.

You were going, obviously--

I had nothing to do with it.

We never even discussed k*lling the old man.

It was not a question of discussing but of impulse,

sudden, dangerous, acute.

Am I correct?

No, no, that's not right!

I advise you to say no more for the present.

You will go with me at once to the mainland!

You have no boat, Colonel.

That is, as soon as my launch is returned.

Ah, monsieur--

Yes, I know, the colonel wants a word with me

and I with him.

Are you coming?

This time, you have gone too far!

Only to the mainland.

Do not joke with me!

I never joke about exposing a m*rder*r.

I know who k*lled Waldo.

So do I, the absurdly named George McGeorge.

You have proof?

Have you?

An open and shut case.

Well now, I suppose someone had better start

the conversation, it might as well be me.

Someone in this room k*lled Waldo.

Now, all you ladies were present on the quay side

at the time of the m*rder by mistake.

Any comments?

What right has he got-It is with my

authority, madame.

Oh, south of Cannes, I am the law.

Well, you can forget about me.

I can't stand the sight of blood.

If I'd wanted to k*ll Waldo,

I would have succeeded.

Knifing isn't English.

You all claim you were emotionally unaffected

by Waldo's forthcoming marriage.

My emotional state was fine as long

as he kept up the alimony payments.

Likewise.

And as a femme, I'm very far from fatale.

So your only interest in Waldo was his money.

Sure.

But he was broke.

But we didn't know that until Howard told us this morning.

It was his great and classic surprise.

Don't you remember?

And now we all have to own our own livings.

Any ideas?

Yeah, me, I'm gonna be a wine taster.

But one of you wouldn't have had to go to work.

Waldo had a life insurance policy

for , pounds.

That's news to me.

Good news to me, I hope.

How typical of Waldo to insure himself

and not tell the beneficiary.

So none of you knew about this policy?

We were hardly in his confidence, Mr. Templar.

But someone else certainly was.

There's a powerful emotional triangle,

Waldo, Nadine and , pounds.

You were on the quayside at the time of the m*rder.

I didn't k*ll that tourist or Monsieur Oddington.

I never k*lled anybody.

I believe you.

And so, this finds you way out on the creaking

limb with the motive again, money.

I wasn't even on the island yesterday morning.

You could have been in disguise.

That's absurd!

Not at all, it's a very ingenious alibi.

Look, this isn't true.

You've gotta believe me, Colonel!

You may proceed, Monsieur Templar.

You stood to inherit Waldo's estate.

No.

No, I didn't k*ll him!

Prove it.

When he was sh*t, I was in my room.

Prove it.

Look, look, you're just making accusations

against me, and all circumstantial!

Where's your proof?

Read this.

Or, better still, Mr. Mitchell, you're a lawyer.

Read aloud this conclusive piece of evidence.

I k*lled Waldo Oddington.

Thank you for the confession and the proof.

You do carry a spare pair of spectacles.

I found these on the speedboat.

You'll find the lenses match.

You came here on that speedboat,

k*lled the tourist in error and in disguise.

There could be a dozen reasons for my

spare glasses being found in some speedboat or other.

Many of them embarrassing, but none of them

connected with m*rder.

There's a piece of luck.

An original and not a carbon copy, signed by Waldo.

An inquiry concerning the cashing

in of his insurance policy.

What's the matter?

You forgot to post it?

Or was it never going to be posted?

Your ingenuity outpaces your logic.

As Mr. Oddington's lawyer and executor,

I'm forbidden to benefit in any way from his estate.

That's true, but, as his lawyer,

you betrayed him all along the line.

You knew he was broke.

You knew of this policy!

You were in league with the beneficiary.

That's how you planned to benefit from his estate,

for a substantial share of that , pounds.

Prove it.

Quite simple, all we have to know

is the name of the beneficiary.

A friend at Scotland Yard can check

with the insurance company.

A friend in Fleet Street has already made inquiries.

Answer it.

For God's sake answer it!

The policy was for me, Mr. Templar.

I insisted on it when I divorced Waldo.

Alimony wasn't enough, you see.

I wanted to be sure of money even after his death.

Vera, don't say another word!

Lawyer to the last.

Don't you realize, you'll be right there

in the dock beside me?

Answer it!

Put a nice little ribbon round this case

and round our necks!

Hello, yes?

Speaking.

Ken.

Yes, I know.

Thanks, but for once I've beaten you to a news story.

Bye.

Well, Colonel, thanks for the use of the launch.