03x06 - Guess Who’s Coming to Picket

[bunniefuu]

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[BARKS]

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JACQUELINE: Our convent in San Tanco is blessed with beautiful weather,

brought on possibly by a little help from upstairs,

and our location in a zone of rising barometric pressure.

Yet at the very moment I basked in the sun on a perfect day,

only five miles away,

Sister Bertrille had just walked into the eye of a storm

located in a zone of rising Latin tempers.

CARLOS: Instead of making all of these,

why don't you discuss it with me?

I told you we can argue about it. Look at this!

Now who's gonna come into my place now

with these people picketing in front?

What's going on? [SIGHS]

We are having our annual company picnic.

What are you doing here?

Well, Carlos, your car couldn't get back by itself.

Thank you very much.

The children had a wonderful time picnicking and...

Why are your waiters striking?

Why don't you ask Enrique, the sensitive?

That Ramirez is too ashamed to tell you.

CARLOS: Ashamed? He's insulted.

He's a waiter. I asked him to wait

on a customer, he's insulted.

Next a stopwatch, like the Olympics.

To time you, I need a calendar.

Well, I have some work to do inside.

A thousand-year calendar!

[MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY]

A saint would have to come down on a cloud and beg me

before I would go in there again.

Well, I don't know about saints,

but we're not allowed to take sides.

May all his slot machines know only jackpots.

And may the coins he does win be counted.

Well, it's a shame he can't be as calm as you are.

Here. Let me help you with that.

Uh, I'm not allowed to interfere, but if I were,

I would say that nothing is ever solved through screaming.

I'm not allowed to get involved,

but I would suggest that...

[♪♪♪]

"Sister comforts striker."

Did they get my good side?

[♪♪♪]

Oh, yes, it's me in the picture.

It's definitely me.

That makes it unanimous.

We all agree it's you. Reverend Mother,

I just don't know how it got to be me in the picture.

I mean-- I mean why.

I mean when.

What about what? What what?

What are we going to do about it?

Somewhere in my files is a letter from the Bishop

insisting that we leave strikes to labor and management.

We can pray for men's souls,

but not for vacation pay or pension plans.

I'm so sorry.

Well, we have a more immediate problem...

Señor Ramirez.

Oh, Carlos. When he sees that picture...

JACQUELINE: He was very good to us while it lasted.

This might upset our delicate balance

between poverty and abject poverty.

Well, it's just a simple mistake. I'll...

Now, wait a minute.

Carlos and I are very good friends.

It just takes a simple phone call.

It might be better if you go to see him.

Oh, can I?

Oh, great! I'll--

I'll call him and explain everything to him.

He and I are very close.

Sister Bertrille, are you certain

that you do not know how the picture was taken?

Or why?

Or when?

No one can quarrel with that explanation.

[DIALING] He'll understand.

He'd better understand.

Hello, Carlos?

This is Sister-- [CARLOS YELLING]

I hear a benefactor debenefacting.

It's an awful connection.

I can hear him.

So can I. That's why it's an awful connection.

Carlos? Carlos?

Who told you to stick your nose in?

Who gave you the right to interfere?

I didn't interfere. Oh, no.

I supposed Sitting Bull was a neutral observer at Big Horn.

I didn't take sides.

Oh, it is your hobby catering strikes.

Enrique's hands were covered with paint.

I poured a cup of coffee for him.

But it comes out that the Sister's out

on the side of the strikers.

Do you know what that means?

It means that nobody will walk in and gamble.

When it comes to choosing

between heaven and the hot eight,

who is going to have the nerve to choose the hot eight?

You're not listening to me.

I'm going to end up with only one customer, an atheist.

But I will make out.

I'm going to haul him to a restroom.

Carlos, would you please listen to me?

I don't want to listen.

Please listen. Nope.

Forget it. Please!

No, just stay out of my life.

All right. Don't listen.

If I want to listen, I'm going to listen.

Go ahead and talk.

Okay, you ready to listen?

I am ready.

I've got nothing to say.

I hung up on him.

Yes, you did, didn't you?

Because-- Because--

Because you can't explain things on the phone to Carlos.

It's face-to-face in person.

That's the only way you can talk to him.

My next suggestion was going to be--

Uh--

Go to see him.

Good suggestion.

If I'm not back by morning,

a simple old memorial service will do.

[♪♪♪]

[CLEARS THROAT]

Much better. Good.

Go, go. Good. Ver--

Look, I'm just a cigarette girl.

And all I know is how to hang up coats.

You're going to do very well. Don't worry.

Let me show you one thing.

If you held the tray this way,

then you can walk much faster with no problem, like this.

[DISHES CLATTER]

Now, you have to be very careful of that, huh.

Let me show you.

Now if you held the tray evenly like this,

it doesn't go that way. Okay?

[DISHES CLATTER, BREAK]

Well, did I ever say Iwas a good waiter?

We'll practice later.

The only thing we need is practice.

Practice makes perfect. You can go.

[LAUGHING]

Now what are you laughing about?

Why don't you start working there?

And you too.

Hello, Carlos.

I must talk to you.

By hanging up the phone?

Sister Bertrille, when you want to talk,

you hold onto the phone.

Hanging up is for no talking.

That's the only way it works.

Hold, talk. Hang, no talk.

This'll only take a minute.

I don't have a minute.

Usually my waiters put out the bread and butter

and fill the water glasses.

I don't have a minute.

I won't leave until you listen.

I will not listen until you leave.

Would you get out of here?

I have to work!

Carlos, you're yelling. Now listen to me.

I cannot listen while I'm yelling.

So stop yelling!

I'd rather stop listening.

What do you want?

I want you to forgive me.

Okay. I forgive you.

For everything? For everything.

The picture in the paper?

The picture in the paper.

And hanging up on you before?

For hanging up on me before.

I even forgive you for another thing.

What other thing?

For taking the rolls out of the basket I just put them into.

Well, now that you've forgiven me,

I'd better leave, right?

Ah, Sister. Muchas gracias,Pablo.

You were inside?

How is it going inside? Terrible.

I am glad to hear that. You shouldn't say that.

You should wish only the best for Señor Ramirez.

But we are on strike.

Well, the strike won't last forever.

This one could.

The sun is so good.

They are suffering inside?

Good.

May all their butter patties stick together.

What a terrible thing to say.

Does he show respect for us?

Is he grateful for what we do?

Our hands are-- Are hard and--

And knotted from carrying heavy trays.

They are b*rned from the hot plates.

They're frozen in the ice water.

Have you ever seen the hands of a waiter?

No, I can't say I ever have.

Let me show you.

I'm sure he appreciates your work.

Well, he's really a very wonderful person.

He gives us money all the time,

and he lends us his car to take the children picnicking.

Just the other day,

he left a bag of lollipops in the glove compartment,

so the kids could find them. Where does he get the cash?

And where did he get the money?

And where does he get the lollipops?

From the sweat of the workers.

They are capitalist lollipops.

They were fruit flavored, and you're very wrong about Carlos.

He's really a warm, wonderful man, and...

We could look on the bright side.

She might have been elected president of the union. Yes.

Well, as one of our novices would say,

I must not lose my cool.

Where are those reporters?

Sometimes it takes a long time to get him to the phone.

He may not want to talk to you.

Oh, he'll talk to me.

Hello? Carlos? [CARLOS YELLING]

See? He's talking to me.

I don't like what he's saying, but he's talking to me.

Um, ahem, Carlos, I-I owe you another apology.

Can't you stay out of the way of the camera?

If you'll just listen to me. You listen.

The civic club has met for lunch once a week since we opened.

And they always drop a few dollars at blackjack.

Today they canceled.

Tomorrow I may have to close.

I'll give you one more chance to listen to me.

[LINE DISCONNECTS]

He hung up.

That ties it at one a piece.

He wouldn't listen.

Well, you can always lead a horse to water,

but you can't make him take a shower.

A shower? They take baths?

Whatever they take, this horse is a stubborn mule.

I'm just gonna have to go talk to him again.

Sister Bertrille,

he will read your apology

and your statement in the Tribune.

Reverend Mother, you yourself said

it was better face-to-face.

Face-to-face would be fine.

Unfortunately, in your case,

the rest of you always gets involved.

A simple statement to the papers.

That is all.

Excuse me, Reverend Mother.

You have some visitors.

Thank you, Sister Ana.

That must be the reporters.

Send them in, please.

Sister Bertrille, tell them exactly what happened.

And for the sake of the bishop's heart condition,

please let them know that we have not taken sides.

Yes, I-- I'll tell them exactly what happened.

I'll explain that Carlos is really a wonderful person.

I've never known anyone so kind to other people.

He's a beautiful man. Does-- Sister Bertrille, the Vatican

usually bestows sainthood.

Limit yourself to one adjective.

And make sure it applies to both sides.

Ah, Reverend Mother. Oh.

Something is wrong?

What are you doing here?

Something is wrong.

We didn't expect you.

Of course not.

It is nice to see you, however.

Oh, the honor is for us.

I have never missed a confession.

Nor even a mass.

Frankly, I never had anything to confess.

I've been a good soul, and it was worth it.

Did you see the picture in the paper?

We can't lose the strike now.

ENRIQUE: We have it won!

There is a doubt?

We're not allowed to take sides.

Of course. We understand.

The way you carried that sign, I thought Ramirez would die.

Don't say that.

We must love everybody.

We try to.

ENRIQUE: Of course.

But your influence in the strike

has got nothing to do with our visit.

We had a meeting this morning at the union hall,

and we suddenly remembered that we had pledged money

for the Christmas fund for the needy.

Oh, that was two years ago.

They must be awfully needy by now.

ENRIQUE: Well, it is not large check.

How could you have much money when you work for Ramirez?

But here is a token of our appreciation

for your non-support in our strike.

Oh! Thank you,

but unfortunately, under the circumstances, I'm afraid--

Ah, the reporters.

[CLICKS]

JACQUELINE: And I was worried

that we wouldn't make the afternoon paper.

JACQUELINE: Since more damage seemed impossible,

Sister Bertrille was allowed to make

a last-ditch attempt to explain.

However, not a hundred percent certain

that a little trouble wasn't hanging around somewhere,

the Reverend Mother also sent in two bodyguards,

both of whom were very good at praying.

You are going to cross our picket line?

We're just going to talk to him.

We won't eat anything.

We won't even touch anything.

Not even a soda pop.

We promise not to gamble.

We just want to explain things,

because everything right now is clear as cement.

It's mud. Cement.

If it was clear as mud, I'd be happy.

Well, I guess we're not going to cross the picket line.

JACQUELINE: If you can't cross a picket line,

you can always skin a cat through the kitchen entrance,

which is approximately how Sister Sixto put it.

The customer said it was too cold.

That stew was boiling when you took it out.

If she can't eat it on a plate, all hell would freeze.

We mustn't panic.

I'm just a cigarette girl.

Bring me cigarettes. I'll broil them for you.

You know how many things that was returned today?

Two hours ago, that was a baked potato.

I'm just a cigarette girl!

Hold it, everybody!

We have customers outside.

You Fernando, you have orders. FERNANDO: I have orders?

Swordfish diablito and curried asparagus

stuffed with hearts of palm.

A challenge for a chef.

When they take it out to the table,

it turns into chicken soup.

The sisters are right.

I must support the strikers.

Oh, we're not supporting the strikers.

Of course not. They never turned your swordfish diablito

into chicken soup.

To the picket line!

Oh, oh, oh! Just a moment.

You're not even in the cook's union.

A father always goes with his son.

What are you doing? You cannot go.

A daughter always goes with her father.

I know, and a niece always goes with her uncle.

Go! Everybody inside the stinking dining room.

Carlos, what are you gonna do?

What am I going to do?

There's this beautiful island with palm trees,

and the beach is glistening white,

and the waves bubble up over the sand,

and the sun shines like a golden star,

and the breeze is the song of love.

Well, how can you think of that now?

Well, if I thought of what I'm really thinking of...

I k*ll myself!

What can I do to help?

Go somewhere.

Join a convent or something.

Just get lost!

Leave me alone!

You always say that.

I always feel this way!

He made himself very clear.

Let's go.

Oh, well, we can't leave him

to do all this by himself.

But he just threw you out of here. I know.

Like the proverbial three cents.

Proverbial penny. There are three of us.

Look at all those dishes there are to wash.

Sister Bertrille! A-and all those food orders--

I know what you're thinking. No.

No!

[SIGHS]

All right.

But only if the Reverend Mother gives you permission.

Oh, I love you, Sister Jacqueline.

And while you're at it,

will you see if she has a recipe for swordfish diablito?

Sister Bertrille, are you through?

Well, having quoted half the Old Testament,

and just about the whole of the New, what is left?

No, no, Shakespeare will not be necessary.

Let us merely say that I agree.

It is an act of charity.

Oh! Sister Jacqueline,

if that stove is getting too warm for you, I--

I mean, I'd change with you. I'm fine.

Oh.

Maybe Carlos and Roberto could use me out there,

waiting on tables.

The way you're dressed,

it might cut down on a few orders,

especially the drinks.

Things have never gone so smoothly.

Roberto and I are managing beautifully.

I only wish they could see how we are getting along.

And I would like to see Enrique's eyes

pop out of his head.

Carlos, that's not fair.

Whose side are you on?

Well, we're not against them.

We're trying to even things out.

If we didn't help you, then we'd be helping them

and we're not allowed to help them, so we're helping you,

which means we're not helping anybody.

Could you repeat that, please?

Not in a million years.

What I'm trying to say is that we're neutral,

and we choose to remain that way.

Steaks. Two rare. One medium.

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

Ugh.

[GRUNTS]

Oh!

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]

[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

I could not believe my eyes.

It was an act of charity, señor.

When you help us, Reverend Mother,

that is an act of charity.

When you help him, that is an act of strike breaking.

Don't listen to him. No.

Listen to him, this mis-mis-misleader of nuns.

He didn't mislead us.

He didn't even want us to get involved.

We had to beg him to let us work.

We are going to straighten this out

if only as a matter of self-defense.

The whole thing could have been settled

five minutes after it started.

He blames us. You hear him?

Now, I am a pious man,

but if St. Francis, St. Thomas, St. Gabriel

beg me to settle, even then only maybe.

We're making progress.

Yesterday, it was only one saint never.

Sometimes a third party can be helpful.

Therefore, I would like to volunteer my services.

Good. We can go to my office.

We go to the union hall.

My office, if you don't mind. BOTH [IN UNISON]: Your office?

Well, battles are usually fought in no-man's-land.

And if my office isn't no-man's-land, what is?

Sister Jacqueline, I may need your help.

I wonder if the great strike is really over.

I don't know. They're awfully stubborn,

especially Enrique.

It would take a miracle.

You see something coming?

Well, someone said it's written in the stars.

Yes, someone once did say that.

And if there aren't any stars out,

then you write on something ese.

Oh, did he say that too?

No, but he would have if he needed as much help as we do.

Oh. Come on.

Sister Greta makes our coffee.

She makes wonderful coffee, doesn't she?

Wonderful coffee.

Excellent coffee.

But I still do not want to deal with him.

He is a stubborn mule.

Would it be better to be a capitalist without a heart?

Sister Jacqueline, perhaps some cookies.

See you around.

A -cent package? Yes.

Well, it would make up a little for all the insults.

It's yours.

Make it cents. No.

I can't. I have to worry about prices.

You see? You see how he takes the food

out of our children's mouths? Oh!

Oh, Reverend Mother, you must have better things to do.

Yes, like pray for his soul.

Perhaps we ought to try Sister Teresa's elderberry wine?

[♪♪♪]

Is that okay?

You forgot to cross the T.

I couldn't hear you.

You forgot to cross the T. Oh.

I always made that same mistake in grammar school.

And how many tables must each waiter take care of?

Would three waiters to a table please you?

We haven't worked out the hour pay yet.

He jumps to the workload.

Next, he will jump to the pension.

Gentlemen, if you could just find one point in common.

We have one.

He does not want to negotiate.

I am going back to my picket line.

If the elderberry wine didn't work, nothing will.

Well, how did it go?

Oh, that good, huh?

Well, at least it's a nice day.

How could it be a nice day when we breathe the same air?

Okay. You breathe that way.

I'll breathe that way.

How could I have worked for such a man?

I ask heaven, how could...

Madre mia.

What-- What's the matter, señor?

Carlos...

I think we should talk more.

JACQUELINE: That's an excellent idea.

REVEREND MOTHER: My office is still open.

It's a miracle.

I know we can come to an agreement.

It's a miracle.

Carlos, I-I know it's a-- A miracle.

We should-- We should please try to talk.

Would you please stick to the issue?

And stop running off at the mouth.

Listen to him.

Did I not always say he was a man you could talk with?

Carlos!

I, uh, I hope it really was you, Sister Bertrille.

"After no apparent break in the negotiations,

settlement was suddenly and mysteriously reached."

And dinner will be ready soon.

[NUNS GASP, GIGGLE]

And it will only be a small token of our thanks.

Thank you. Hmm.

[CHUCKLES]

Hmm.

Oh, I would say that this compares

with Sister Sixto's cold cuts. [NUNS CHUCKLE]

It needs tasting--

Tasting and time to prepare.

And time to eat.

A feast...

[KISS] ...should take hours.

I've been getting curious.

Aren't you due back at the casino soon?

Carlos can wait.

Oh, well, we wouldn't want him to explode again.

There is no problem. Are you sure?

If he opens his mouth, we go on strike again.

I think we'd better eat very fast then.

Yes. Hmm.

There's so much about the w*r in the paper today.

Look at this. What is it?

BERTRILLE: It was a good day yesterday.

Three other strikes were settled on the island.

[CHUCKLES] I wonder why.

I helped her cross the T.[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]