05x15 - The Persistent Patriots

[bunniefuu]

Jack Liskard - blunt,
rough-diamond Prime Minister -

sets off for London to negotiate
his country's final independence.

In a matter of days, another
British colony will gain its freedom.

And the flight will be ghastly.
We'll take off late.

Cabin service to us peasants
non-existent!

Ah, well, it's...
all in a good cause.'

Prime Minister! Get down!

Are you all right?
Yes.

That was quick thinking. A terrible
waste of champagne, Prime Minister

Well, I'm very grateful to you,
Mr...Templar. Simon Templar.

You got involved in a pub fight
on our first night here?

The man was drunk, sir, shouting
abuse!

We are here to negotiate with the
British government - not to fight drunks!

I have said a hundred times that our image must
be one of absolute integrity...and dignity!

I'm sorry, sir. It will never happen
again.You are so right, Mr Lockhart. It won't...

because you are on the next plane
home!

Thank you. That's all.

Mail.

Personal items, on this side.

You could take in a cocktail party before dinner,
if you dropped in early. Oh, do I have to?

No, but it might be politic.

Ah, well... Oh, by the way, Stewart,

will you get on to that Chief
Inspector

and ask him to make my bodyguard
just a little less obvious?

It's normal procedure after what
happened back home.Yes, well,

I don't want him breathing
down my neck.

Anyway, I've got a g*n.
I'll see the Chief Inspector.

Darling!

What shall I wear for the state
dinner?

Oh, Anne, can't you work these
things out for yourself?

Only I'm terribly busy here.

Oh, I'm sorry...
Mr Prime Minister

Don't you think it's just a little
too early for that?

It's never too early, darling.

You should know that by now.Cheers!

You were over-hasty with Lockhart.
He's a good man.

WAS a good man.
But bawling him out in public!

He brawled in public, didn't he?
Defending you!

You should watch it, Liskard.

You're beginning to believe your own
legend.

Huh! And what is that supposed to
mean?

The great leader, surrounded by a
crowd of second-class brains

All right, Brand, what's eating you?

Well, look at the way you treat me!

I'm supposed to be your deputy, but
for over a week I've been trying to speak to you.

Yes, right. Well, later. Later.

All right. Later.

You won't reconsider on Lockhart?
No.

Heaven help you, if you ever make
a mistake, Jack.

Something wrong?

Is it true?That I had an affair with
Mary Bannerman? Yes.

Four years ago, when I was with the
High Commission here.

What kind of letters did you write?
Oh, just about as compromising as you could get,

saying I was in love with her, I wanted to leave
my wife, I didn't care about my position...

You name it, I said it.

But you er...didn't leave your wife.
No.

Why? Because suddenly I was in line
for big things politically...

and I had to make a choice.
How did Mary take it?

Badly. Mind you, she was very young.

Oh? How young?.
Huh!All right, I know.

Baby-snatching in a way, I suppose,
but anyway, I was in love with her

or...thought I was.

Is she a nice girl?
Nice? What is "nice"?

Am I "nice"?

The point is, someone claims to have
these letters and threatens to send copies to your wife

and the papers. You sure?
Yes, quite sure, thank you.

Could it be Mary?
Well, she has the letters.

Quite frankly, I don't know what I
can do.

Listen, I can't go to the police at
this particular moment,

and you did save me once before.

This is a b*mb that's already gone
off. You're just waiting for the blast effect.

No - not necessarily.

If Mary Bannerman merely wanted to
ruin my reputation,

she would've sent the letters
straight away.

But no, I have two days' grace.
Do you think it's blackmail?

Well, it must be - otherwise, why
the delay?

Anyway, I'm willing to pay.
Not with my help.

Now, look, Mr Templar. It won't
worry me if you believe this or not,

but I really don't care about
myself.

On the other hand, I care
desperately about the work I am trying to do.

If I go under now,
I think the result back home will be utter chaos.

Where does Mary Bannerman live?

Come in and keep quiet.

All right, that's fine. Keep that...

Lovely. One more, sweetheart.

That's it. Great.

And who are you?
Er, a friend of a friend.

But if I'm interrupting the
sh**ting...Oh, the sh**ting's over. Who sent you?

It's...confidential.Look, if
you're selling something...

I'm afraid I left the vacuum cleaners
downstairs

Even so, I don't
entertain strange men alone.

Wise, but in my case, I hope you'll
make an exception.

You hope in vain, unless you tell me
who you are.My name is Simon Templar.

THE Simon Templar. Of course.
Fortunately, there's only one of us.

Well, well! Mr Templar - Jim Bell,
George Ransome and Jeff Peterson.

Mr Peterson, I liked your pictures
you did in Hong Kong.

Yeah. I'll call you.
Do.

Bye, darlings.
Bye.

Peterson's a tough-looking character,
as photographers go.

Colonial type.
What's the hold-up in aid of?

"Munch - the candy bar they'll do
anything to get!"

Want a bite?
No, thanks. I'm trying to kick the habit.

Do you usually work at home?No, but
circular beds are difficult to find.

True. You must make a lot of money on
that one What?

I mean, the photographers pay for the
use of it, don't they?

Jeff is a friend.Oh.
Now, who sent you here?

Another friend. Jack Liskard.

He sent you here?

Why?
Can't you guess?

No, but I can tell you that any
friend of Jack Liskard

is no friend of mine!
I...gather you don't like him.

Hate him.
Then why do you keep his letters?

What do you know about his letters?
That somebody claims to have them

and threatens to send them to his
wife...and the papers.

That's a lie!Can you prove it?
I can do even better.

I can give them back to him!

He's scared I might use them. Is
that it?

They're gone.
That did seem likely.

This isn't?No. No-one knew about
them. No-one!

I don't know where they are.

I realised Jack didn't love me, that
he was just using me.

He's terribly selfish and ambitious.

But I wouldn't do a thing like that
to anybody.

Who would?
I don't know.

Wait a minute! I had a robbery here
three weeks ago.

They took some jewellery and some
cash and some furs.

It never occurred to me they might
have taken the letters.

Maybe that's what they were really
after. The rest was just a blind.

Did they catch the thieves? No.

Who else knew about the letters?
No-one, I told you.

Well, somebody did. Maybe
it'll...come to you.

What are you doing for dinner
tonight? Nothing. Why?

Good. I'll call for you at eight.
Maybe you'll have some fresh ideas.

Er, Mr Templar!

In case YOU have any ideas...

I know I'm labelled as a sinner, but
it doesn't follow that I go easily for saints!

Take your pick: Mary's either a darn
good actress...

or she's in the clear.I think she
must have told somebody.

Inadvertently, maybe. Does the name
Jeff Peterson, a photographer, mean anything to you?

Yeah, sure. His family come from my
home town.You know him?

Let's say I know his father better.

I kicked him out of the cabinet six
months ago.

Why?
I'm allergic to alcoholics.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise you
had company.

Hello?
WOMAN: "Templar?" Yes?

"I understand Mr Liskard is anxious
to recover certain letters."

Who is this speaking?
"Go to Balfour Street. Park your car in the far end.

There is a small church. Round the
side, there is an entrance to a vault.

You will be met there."
Yes, I'll come if -

Good evening.
Let's talk business, shall we?

£, for the return of certain
letters.

It's a...lot of money.That's the
price.Take it or leave it.

Well, since you're obviously in no
mood for bargaining,

I'd like to see the letters. Do you
have them?

I have them.

Ah, this stuff stinks!
How long will it keep him under?

Long enough.
So much for the Saint!

How to lose your halo in one easy
lesson

Lesson Two: when to hold your
breath.STOP!

I can't stop here!
Who are you working for?

Get off at a side street!Who are
you working for? Is it Peterson?

Is it Peterson?Aye.
Has he got Liskard's letters?Yes.

Oh, no! There's a copper.

Oh, good evening, Officer. With
petrol the price it is these days,

it's definitely cheaper to walk.

Hi.
What are YOU doing here?

Keeping our dinner date.
I...couldn't make it.

You mean, you didn't think I'd turn
up - I wonder why

How did you get in here?
I have to confess I'm a burglar,

but of a different variety: I return
stolen property.

What are you going to do?

I will listen.

I ran into debt. I needed money
desperately,

so I invented the burglary to
collect the insurance money.

I
couldn't keep the things here, so I checked them in at Victoria Station.

And Liskard's letters?
Oh, I don't know.

When I found them gone,
I kind of lost my head

and gave you the same story as I
gave the insurance company.

Do you think Jeff Peterson could've
taken them?

Jeff? Why on earth should he?

Well, he...seems to be around a great
deal.

Well, Jeff and I are in love.

How nice

I take it he knows about Liskard?
No.

That was all over a long time before
we met.

Hmm. Well, just how did you run into
debt?

I...live like an idiot.

Don't cry. It's not the end of the
world.

What are you going to do?I'm going
to come back here in the morning,

at ten, and I'm going to be quiet.

In exchange for Liskard's letters and
your written assurance you won't bother him again.

How many more times? I haven't got
the letters!

Well, you have exactly ten hours to
find them.

How?Sweetheart,
that's your problem.

But if they're not here when I get
back in the morning,

you'll be in jail before lunch -
that's a promise.

Get out.

I said, get out!

Until ten, then.

Hello? Mary. Look, I'm in trouble
and so are you.

Templar definitely knows.

Where are we going?
He thinks you'll be better out of the way for a while.

Welcome to the party, Templar.
Hope my boys didn't drive too fast for you

Most considerate
Good. Now walk ahead...

and don't try anything silly.

Jeff! He followed, as expected.
Congratulations.

Jeff, why? What's the idea?
Be quiet.

Time him up.
Pleasure. On the bunk!

Happy?
Why did you follow?

I was worried about you.

Oh, don't tie him up, please!

He stays here till we've finished
our business.

Oh, then you'll release me?
Naturally.

What will I do then - recommend you
for a knighthood

Do what you like.All right, sonny,
I will. Don't you fret.

Liskard's rotten! He ruined Jeff's
father. He'll ruin his own country.

Ah! The sturdy patriots out to wreck
the evil dictator Is that it?

That's it.I don't know what they
have in store for Liskard,

but they're going to k*ll me. They've
tried already tonight. That's ridiculous!

Is it? You work it out for yourself.

If I go free, loverboy here gets ten
years in jail.

Jeff, don't!
Very clever.

Discrediting Liskard is one thing,
and I'm all for -You heard.

You're a liability too.
Don't forget it!

You make gags, as well
Not particularly. It's a bit late now, isn't it?

I have to go to London. I'll be back
before dawn. You stay with Templar. Don't leave him.Right.

You stay with Mary. I don't want
them talking.Right.

And take the boat midstream. Anchor
her there.

I hope you're getting well paid for
this.We don't need money.

We're patriots.
Oh, how nice

Sing me your national anthem - send
me straight off to sleep

For you, Mrs Liskard.
Post Office messenger.

Darling, I'd like a word with you.

Oh, Anne, later. Do you mind?
I really am very, very tired.

I know, and I hate to bother you.

It's about these letters...
to Mary Bannerman.

I gather they arrived a day early.

Possibly your friend Simon Templar
was getting in their hair.

Yes, possibly.
They're a revelation, I must say!

Why have you hidden this passionate
streak from me all these years?

Anne, I could...I could talk to you
for hours and hours,

and I still wouldn't be able to
explain.Well, try!

This house is sitting all night,
Mr Prime Minister

Oh, Anne, listen, listen! I stayed
with you, didn't I?

Because you felt sorry for an
alcoholic?

Or because you were protecting your
career?

All right. A bit of both, I suppose.

Well, get this, Mr Prime Minister:

your career is finished! You are
dead!

Mad, if you ask me.Floats right by
me and shouts,

"Pull me in, chum, will you?"
Cheerful as you like!

Who'd done a thing like that?
I did it myself. Do you think you could...get this off?

Oh, yeah, yeah. You feeling all
right? Oh, fine, fine!

Sipped a little water, that's all.
What happened? Tried to do yourself in? No, it's a little experiment.

I'm planning on swimming the Channel
like this next year.

What's your name, son?Houdini. You
may have heard of my great-uncle.

Here. Sorry about the...water. Thanks
for your help.

Rogers!

He's gone!
Back to shore! Fast! His car.

Get the anchor up!

What happened? I heard a sh*t.
Liskard?

Liskard!

What happened?
He sh*t himself.

su1c1de. I cannot stand the
disgrace. There's no other way out.

What are you doing?

Calling the police.
You'd better call an ambulance.

He's still alive.

I see no point in allowing the
police to see either the note, or the Photostats.

Are you suggesting we conceal
evidence?

Why not? What's to be gained by a
scandal? For Mrs Liskard's sake alone.

Thank you Bob, but it's no good. The
newspapers have the information anyway.

So...You see? It's bound to come
out.

Only if he dies, Mr Brand. Don't keep
burying him.

Inspector Teal, madam.

Erm, Mrs Liskard, I'm so sorry to
hear about this. Most regrettable.

Thank you. Erm, this is Mr Brand,
the Deputy Prime Minister.

Mr Stewart, my husband's aide.
And Mr Simon Templar.

I am here by invitation.
Mr Templar was making some...

private investigations for my
husband.There's no need to b*at about the bush, Inspector.

Mr Liskard was, in effect, being
blackmailed.

The strain was too much for him.

What time did you hear the sh*t?
Very close to three o'clock.

Is this your husband's handwriting?

It's rather scrawled,

but he wrote like that when he was
in a hurry...

or angry...

or upset.

Where's the g*n?
Here, Claude.

You'll find his prints on it. It was
in his hand when we found it.

Thank you, Templar.
At your service, Claude.

It would seem that Mr Liskard either
sh*t himself accidentally

or - forgive me, Mrs Liskard -
attempted to k*ll himself.

That is so.It is not. Someone tried
to m*rder him

and make it look like su1c1de.

Ridiculous! We were here, in the
next room.This whole blackmail was a front leading up to m*rder.

Perhaps you'd explain how it
could've been done.

All right.

Suppose...I am the would-be m*rder*r.

I come through the windows. Liskard
is sitting here.

He doesn't raise any alarm because he
knows me.

So I start talking and I...stroll
casually towards the door.

I talk about
politics, economics - anything...

..as I lock the
door behind me.

Then I move back to the desk.

Liskard is becoming tired and
irritable.

He gets up and he...starts to pace
around the room.

I move...over here, still talking.

And I take his g*n. I know where he
keeps it.

All right, Mr Prime Minister?
Sit down and be quiet!

Then I sh**t him. I whip out
the already-written su1c1de note

and I place it in front of him. I
wipe the g*n, put it in his hand

and I go back through the windows
the way I came in

before anybody can crash
through the doors.

Absolutely ridiculous!
Absolutely!

You're jumping to conclusions,
Claude.

You'll be telling us next you know
who did it

I do.

A man named Peterson.

Peterson isn't even in England.
Ah, but his son is.

Pick up a photographer named Jeff
Peterson. Ask him where he was at three o'clock this morning.

See what he says.

Thanks for the use of the clothes,
Mrs Liskard. I shall return them tomorrow.

Good night.

Well, well, well!

Did you bring your friends with you?
No, I did some thinking, as you advised.

So you packed, kissed your friends
goodbye and walked out, huh

No, while the big man was away
looking for you,

I hit the other one over the head
with a hunk of wood.

I got a lift to London.

And...what do you expect me to do
with you?I don't know.

I was scared to death.
I couldn't go home.

Did you really believe that all
Peterson wanted to do was discredit Liskard?

I swear that's the only reason
I gave him Liskard's letters.

Well, he tried to k*ll him.

It's true. The police are picking him
up now.

On my word of honour, I had no idea!

We both wanted Liskard out of
office.

I hated him because
he...threw me over,

and Jeff hated him for what he did
to his father,

and we honestly believed he was
wrong for the country!

But k*lling him...

I never!

He sh*t him and tried to make it look
like su1c1de because of your letters.

By some miracle, the b*llet didn't
k*ll him.

It's touch and go, though.

Well, you'd better call the police.

I can't talk myself out of this.

Back in there. Keep quiet.

Wow, Claude! This is more than I
deserve. Twice in one night!

It's a clear case of attempted
su1c1de.

You're quite happy about that?
Not happy, but convinced.

You're wrong.
Care to bet?

Claude, you have the air of Sherlock
Holmes about to confound Watson.

Liskard was sh*t at three o'clock
this morning.Right.

I checked Peterson.
Right again.

At exactly :am, a black saloon
car collided with a truck near Twickenham.

The driver was k*lled instantly.

Jeff Peterson?
Well done, Watson

So Jeff Peterson wasn't sh**ting
anybody at three o'clock.

He was sh**ting off to heaven
So keep out of it - there's a good chap.

There's nothing left to do now
except get a statement from Liskard,

when or if he recovers
consciousness. What are his chances?

Anybody's guess.

Good morning.

He's holding his own, Mrs Liskard.
That's something, anyway.

I'll look in again later.
Thank you.

Good morning, Mrs Liskard.

How is he?
The same.

Well, there's...not much point in
hanging around, is there?

I was just leaving.

Mrs Liskard...
Hm?

Do you think your husband's the type
to attempt su1c1de?

Normally, no...but who knows what
happens?

I wasn't much help, I'm afraid.

So did you tell him you would divorce
him?

I let him think so.

Will you?
That's my business, Mr Templar.

Mine and Jack's.

Inside! Move!

What did you have to k*ll him for?

Come off it, Claude! What are you
going to do, charge me with m*rder? Dead men can't talk.

So I apologise. Next time, I'll let
them sh**t me and have Matron arrest them

All right, all right. I'm not
denying you probably saved Liskard's life.

Yes. If we're going to keep him
alive, this is what I suggest we do.

What I have to say is strictly
confidential

and must not be repeated to anyone
outside this room. That's understood.

As a safety precaution, no-one is to
be allowed to see Mr Liskard - and I mean no-one.

Except me, as a protective measure.
Erm, yes.

And as an additional precaution,
he's being moved to another hospital in the country

at ten o'clock tonight.
Is he well enough to be moved?

He's much stronger. They think he
might be able to talk tomorrow.

Where are they taking him?
I can't tell you that.

Surely we have a right to know?
Not even his most trusted friends.

Well, Claude, dear boy, you seem to
have everything under perfect control

so I can leave you unsupervised for
the time being.

Goodbye, Mrs Liskard. I have a strong
hunch your husband will soon be well.

I'll er...see you out.

Mr Templar, I shan't be allowed
to see my husband till he's talked, yes?

That is the general idea.Perhaps
you were wondering what I was doing

when you came into the hospital room
this morning.

I was going to write a note, leave
it with him,

saying all is forgiven - or words to
that effect.

Perhaps you'd see that he gets it.

Of course, Mrs Liskard.

Don't move! You won't get hurt.

Right, Stewart. It's
the end of the road.

How did you know?
I didn't. When Peterson d*ed, it could've been any one of you,

so I had to smoke you out.

Thanks, partner. I think you've earnt
full remission.

I just...I just couldn't believe it
of Stewart.

That's why I didn't offer any
resistance.

Quiet, unassuming Stewart!

Well, the oddest people have
political ambitions.Hm!

And...and how about you?

I...I'm looking for a Minister of
Defence.

No, thanks, Prime Minister.

I'm a pacifist.

Doing anything in particular, Nurse?
No, sir.

Good, because I am in urgent need of
some rather specialised treatment.