04x19 - Nowhere to Slide

[bunniefuu]

- ♪

- ALL: [laughing]

- Are you guys watching that video of Max eating

that spicy hot wing?

- No, because that video is not funny.

- Ah, sure it is.

You were all like, "Ah, my tongue is melting."

- Actually, we're watching this viral video

of a wimpy survivalist

who totally freaks out over nothing.

- Yeah.

- MAN: The number-one rule to surviving in the wild is--

- [owl hooting]

- MAN: I want my mommy!

- ALL: [laughing]

- He calls his mom mommy, Mommy.

- What kind of loser can't handle one night in the wild?

- Ha-ha!

- It's easy to judge someone from the comfort of your sofa.

- Barb, survival is in the Thunderman blood!

- Please. Max wouldn't last five minutes

in the wilderness without his hairdryer.

- I don't have to.

I'm my own hairdryer.

Ahh-ahh!

[sizzling]

- You're smoking, Max.

- Thank you, Chloe.

- No, no, no, your hair is actually smoking.

- Ah, ah!

Make it stop! Make it stop! Ah, ah!

Freeze spray, freeze spray!

- See? Less outdoorsy, more indoor-sy.

- Less camping, more glamping.

- Yeah, less tough, more...you could never survive in the wild.

- Did you--did they---about us?

- Uh.

Son, I will handle this.

Did you--did they--about us?

- Look, there's no shame in it.

It's just who you guys are.

- Oh, okay.

Thunder Men, we need to prove them wrong.

Tomorrow night, the great outdoors

becomes the great our doors.

[laughs]

I mean, we're going camping.

- ♪

- [phone beeping]

- BOTH: [screams] Did you see this? What?

You go! I'll go!

You go!

- Okay. I'll go.

They're dropping all episodes of the new season

of "Best Chefs Forever" tonight!

- [screams]

This means the chefs survive the exploding the pork roast.

- You and I have to stay up all night and watch

the entire season so that nobody spoils it for us

at school on Monday.

- Girls!

I had a totally brills idea!

- Mom, I thought we talked about you using words like "brills."

- Sorry, I'm just super jazzed!

- Add jazzed to the list. - Yeah.

- Okay, since the boys are going camping,

I planned an old-fashion McBooger girls' night! What?

- BOTH: Tonight?

- It's finally time to introduce Chloe to all the fun traditions

we McBoogers had down on the family farm.

[gasps] Hit it, Chloe!

- Mom, needs some cowbell, baby!

- [cowbell ringing]

- What are we gonna do?

- If we don't watch every single episode tonight,

it'll get spoiled, and our lives will be over.

- I know. One of us is gonna have to tell Mom

we already have plans. - BOTH: You tell her!

No, you tell her! You tell her!

- [laughing]

Oh, there's nothing I would want more in this world

then one night with my girls.

Or maybe a pig or two.

Soiee!

- [cowbell ringing]

- ♪

- Mosquito net? - Check!

- Sleeping bags? - Check!

- Prove to the girls that we have survival skills?

- Oooh, that's a big check!

- Yeah!

How dare they say we're not outdoorsy?

- Yeah! We're outdoors right now.

- Help me with my bag, Dad.

- Oooh! What is in this thing?

Feels like you're carrying a ton of rocks.

- I am.

Whoa!

- Well, I've managed to pack all my survival looks

into only eight bags.

- Hold up, Colosso, you're not coming.

- A bunny can't survive in nature.

- Where do you think bunnies are from?

- France.

- Sorry, Colosso, but this trip is for the Thunder men only.

You understand, right?

- Uh, yeah, totally.

Uh, I was joking.

These suitcases are empty.

- [boing] - Ah!

Uh, this is all still part of the joke.

[nervous laugh]

So are these tears.

- Time to go.

Grab ahold, boys.

Thunder men, off to survive!

- ♪

- Thunder men, we barely survived!

- The bats were in my hair!

My hair!

- And those squirrels stole my jerky!

My jerky!

- Then I saw that scary Sasquatch bathing in the river.

- Yes, that was a Sasquatch.

Uh, I guess we better tell the girls they were right

about us not being able to survive outdoors.

- Dad, we can't tell them that!

We'll never hear the end of it!

Let's just sneak into my lair, hide out,

and return in the morning after a night full of "nature."

- No, I'm not gonna lie to your mom.

- Me neither.

- We can order pizza.

- BOTH: We're in!

- ♪

♪ What you see is not what you get ♪

♪ Living our lives with a secret ♪

♪ We fit right in, bet you'd never guess ♪

♪ Because we're living our lives just like all the rest ♪

♪ A picture-perfect family is what we try to be ♪

♪ But closer you might see the crazy things we do ♪

♪ This isn't make-believe

♪ It's our reality

♪ Just your average family trying to be normal ♪

♪ And stay out of trouble

♪ Living a double life ♪

- [owl hooting]

- MAN: I want my mommy!

- [laughing]

- What a loser!

- Oh, can't handle the wild.

Pathetic.

- [knocking at door] - Ah!

It was all Max's idea, Barb!

- It's just the pizza.

- I know it's the pizza.

[whispers] I did not know it was the pizza.

- Sorry, I'd give you a tip, but I'm camping.

Okay, guys, before we eat, need to cover our tracks

and send the girls proof that we're in the wild.

- Ooh, you can't make me go back there!

- Relax.

All we have to do is stage a photo of us camping.

Dad, remember that picture I sent you

from the Statue of Liberty?

- Remember it?

I made a T-shirt out of it!

- Well, there's something you should know.

- [machine buzzing]

- [gasps] I've been wearing a lie.

- Does this mean you weren't at the running of the bulls?

- [machine buzzes]

- Max, watch out!

- As your father, I am very disappointed!

But as a partner in a lie, I say, take us to the forest.

- [machine beeps]

- Say, "Surviving!"

- ALL: Surviving!

- [camera clicks]

- Howdy-do!

Gather round, farm girls, and let's get in the McBooger spirit

with some hay facials,

a little jug band music. - [guitar plays]

- And...

- Please say watching "Best Chefs Forever."

- Pin the tail on the alpaca!

- What's an alpaca?

- Oh, uh, it's kinda like a fluffy dog that spits.

- Mom's family raised alpacas on their farm.

- Not to brag, but we were the most respected

alpaca breeders in the tristate area.

- Were there many alpaca breeders in the tristate area?

- No, just us.

- Howdy-do!

Hey, got room for one more farm girl?

- Sorry, Colosso, but this is reserved

for McBooger girls only, so get to hopping.

- Uh, yeah, totally.

[laughing] I was just joking.

I didn't want to hang out with you guys.

[laughing]

Another Colosso joke scores.

[laughing]

- I have an idea. Follow my lead.

Hey, Mom, why don't you take the first hay mask?

- Well, I did work my buns off setting this thing up.

- Yeah, you sure did.

Now hit the hay. - Oh!

- And stay as cool as a cucumber

while you listen to the calming sounds of the farm.

- [rooster crowing]

- Ah, isn't this nice?

Just us McBooger gals bonding?

- Yep. - You said it.

- Whatcha watching? - Sssh.

- Girls!

No phones on the farm.

Now, as we used to say back home,

alpaca these up for later.

- Uh, "alpaca these up for later."

That's so funny, Mom. Isn't that so funny, Nora?

- That is so funny, Phoebe.

- Okay, she's gone. Plan B.

You keep Farmer Barb busy while I go down to Max's lair

and watch "Best Chefs Forever" on his computer.

- Wait, I don't get to watch "Best Chefs Forever"?

- I'll tell you what happens.

Ow!

Fine, we'll take turns.

- This is what it's all about, boys.

Back to basics.

[burps]

- Nice!

- You ever stop to think...

a burp is like a memory of the meal you just ate?

- That's pretty deep, Billy.

- COMPUTER: Alert, alert.

Phoebe Thunderman approaching.

- I didn't know the Thunder Monitor had a baby.

- No, it's a mini Thunder Monitor to alert me

every time Phoebe's coming.

- It doesn't warn you when we come down here, does it?

- Uh...quick, hide!

- Looks like Mom turned this place into a pigsty,

am I right?

Oh, wait, I'm alone.

And now, a recipe for friendship with a dollop of intrigue

and a dash of drama!

[humming]

♪ These girls know a bit about a boilie base ♪

♪ But they also know a thing about cracking a case ♪

♪ It's cooking time, they're fighting crime ♪

♪ Sticking together

♪ Boom, Best Chefs Forever

♪ Best Chefs Forever

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

- ♪

- Alright, well, who's ready for a little jug band jamboree?

- Me! - Me.

- Okay. You know, back in the day,

the McBooger barnyard band was considered

the most respected jug band in the tristate area?

- Were there many jug bands in the tristate area?

- No, just us.

Hope Phoebe's okay.

She's been gone awhile.

- She better be back soon, because it's my turn to...

go to the outhouse.

- Alright, go ahead, tell Phoebe to hurry back.

She is not gonna wanna miss me jamming out on my spoons.

Hit me with some cowbell, Chloe!

- First I gotta hit this dirt juice.

Ah, that's farm fresh.

- ♪

- Brr, getting cold just watching the chefs

locked in that Little Tokyo meat freezer.

- NORA: [whispers] Phoebe.

- [whispers] Get out of here. This is my spot.

- I'm in here.

- Ahhh! - Ah!

Quick question.

Have you ever tasted a glass of goopy dirt juice?

- Ew, no.

- Well I have!

Which means it's your turn to McBooger sit.

- But Chef Brielle and Chef Brianne

are about to cater a ninja wedding.

Just stay down here, and we'll finish the episode together.

- Okay. Give me the headphones.

- Hey! They're mine.

Go find Max's. They're probably under his bed.

- Ew!

Feels like I touched a rotten jack-o-lantern.

Got 'em!

- That was close.

We're finally safe.

- Hey, guys! - Ah!

- Colosso, you're not gonna rat us out, are you?

- I'm no rat.

- We know. You're a bunny.

What is wrong with this guy?

- I'm here to help.

Barb's coming down here.

- She is?

- Yeah. You better hide in the slide

so she doesn't find out you aren't camping.

Go now!

Go, go, go!

- BARB: Girls! - COLOSSO: Hurry!

[laughs]

- [electricity zapping]

- No! - No!

- I can't believe you two.

- Mom, we can explain.

- Explain what?

That you pretended to go to the outhouse so you could

sneak down here and avoid my girls' night?

- Oh, so you're all caught up.

- Well, don't worry.

There will never be another McBooger's girls' night.

- Wait, Mom!

- Oh, hold on a second. They might come back.

- Thanks for having our backs, buddy.

Wait, how did you know Mom was coming?

- Well, because I called her down to get revenge on the girls

for not including me in their night.

- Ha, that's funny.

Wait, we left you out of our night, too.

- I know.

Revenge!

[evil laughing]

- ♪

- ♪

- Colosso!

Let us out of here, you traitor!

- You can't yell!

You have to sweet talk him.

Hey, Colosso!

Let us out, you fashionable traitor.

- You guys are wasting your time.

Nobody can hear us.

- Well, then I'll have to punch our way out!

- Dad, no! - [bang]

- Ow! - [loud ringing]

- I tried to tell you.

I sealed this entire place in Thunder-tanium.

There's literally no way out.

- What? Why would you do that?

- Well, back in my evil days, I was gonna trap you

and sell you to Dark Mayhem.

I don't wanna bore you with details.

- The girls think we're out camping.

It could be days before anyone finds us.

- Well, hey, Colosso can never just leave us here.

I'm sure he feels terrible,

and he's gonna let us out any second.

- ♪ They're fighting crime

♪ Sticking together

♪ Best Chefs Forever

♪ Best Chefs Forev-ever

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

Ah, good stuff.

- ♪

- Wow, we really broke Mom's heart.

- Yeah, I've never seen her do that before.

- [thunder rumbling]

- Whatever you did to Mommy, you better fix it!

- [thunder rumbles]

- Chloe's right.

We were so worried about our show being spoiled,

we ended up spoiling Mom's special night.

- Let's get out there, apologize,

and give her a big hug.

- [thunder rumbling] - ALL: Ah!

- Alright, new plan.

We are gonna give her the best girls' night

in the history of the McBoogers!

Boy, that is an unfortunate last name.

- ♪

- I'm so cold and hungry.

- [growling]

- What was that?

- My stomach. I said I was hungry.

- The girls were right.

We're no better than that whiny survivalist.

- You're right.

But maybe that's a good thing.

- What do you mean?

- I mean, all the best stuff is inside.

Like the couch, and the TV.

- Ooh, and the refrigerator.

- And the Grand Canyon!

- No, but I like your passion.

My point is, we should be proud of who we are.

We're not outdoorsmen.

We're indoorsmen.

- BOTH: Yeah!

- And we will survive this slide!

- BOTH: Yeah!

- Because it's indoors! - BOTH: Yeah!

- Now, does anyone have a plan to get us out of here?

- BOTH: No!

- ♪

- Come look, Mommy.

- Chloe, I already told you, McBooger night's a McBust.

- You sure about that?

- BOTH: Howdy-do!

- What's going on?

- We behaved like a couple of cow patties,

so we're giving you the McBooger girls' night

of your dreams.

- ALPACA: [vocalizes]

- A real alpaca?

Girls, you don't have to pretend anymore.

I know you don't wanna do my girls' night.

- Just enjoy the jug band sounds of the Thunder Gals!

- ♪

♪ Well, there ain't no jugging if we don't have Barb ♪

♪ No, there ain't no jugging, though she worked so hard ♪

♪ With her family and her ap making sweet, sweet music ♪

♪ Family and her ap like there's nothing to it ♪

♪ A country girl at heart, a McBooger through and through ♪

♪ Looks, smart, lightning power too ♪

♪ With her family and her heart, and her family pride ♪

♪ With her children and her husband always by her side ♪♪

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- I don't think she liked the song.

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- Girls, is this a wild alpaca?

- Uh, we don't know.

Colosso helped us find it.

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- Oh yeah, this baby's wild alright.

And that's what you get for leaving me out of girls' night.

- It's a girls' night!

Not a -year-old rabbit night!

- [gasps] You told them my age!

Enjoy your alpaca-lypse!

[evil laughing]

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- I should go.

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- Me, too!

Later.

- Girls, take cover!

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- [glass shattering]

- We should be safe from the raging alpaca

as long as she's not a spitter!

- [water spraying]

- I think she's a spitter.

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- Phoebe, freeze that fluffy beast!

- No! No, I'll handle it!

I was the best alpaca barker in the tristate area.

- Where there many? - Actually, yes.

They taught it at the high school.

[growling]

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- Okay.

She wants to hear an apology from all of us.

- Are you sure? - Just do it.

- [clears throat]

- GIRLS: [growling]

- No, like you mean it.

- GIRLS: [growling]

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- There, there, little friend.

- Oh, Mom, that was beyond impressive.

- We are beyond sorry.

We never should have put our show above your girls' night.

- We know how important they are to you.

- Well, it's not the activities I look forward to.

I'd be happy doing anything

as long as I'm doing it with my girls.

- Best McBooger night ever!

- Aw!

You know, after you clean up this mess, I think I know

a way we can spend the next hours together.

- ♪

- Can't believe she gave her the last piece of wedding sushi

even though she knew it had the antidote.

- That's what Best Chefs Forever do for each other.

- That was the worst show I've ever seen.

But I love hanging out with you guys.

- Hey! Didn't boys use to live here?

- Yeah.

- Yeah, they aren't home yet.

I guess they actually made it through the night.

- Yeah, we were awfully hard on them.

Maybe they are survivors after all.

- Think again!

- [machine beeps]

- We're free!

- [laughing]

The refrigerator! Mwah!

- [heavy breathing]

The couch!

- The Thunder Monitor!

I met your baby.

- Wait, you guys were in the slide all night?

- Correction.

We were surviving in the slide all night,

'cause we're Thunder men.

- ♪ Thunder men, Thunder men, Thunder men ♪

- We were att*cked by a wild alpaca in our own home,

and that's still the weirdest thing we've seen.

- Well, I hope you all learned a valuable lesson

for leaving me out of your plans.

- We did, buddy.

And I know exactly how to make it feel like you were

part of all of our nights.

- ♪

- Very funny, Max!

Ha-ha-ha!

Joke's over!

- ALPACA: [vocalizing] - Hm?

Is the alpaca in here?

Take it easy, buddy!

- ALPACA: [vocalizing]

- I want my mommy!

- ♪

- ♪

♪♪