[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
[BELL TOLLING]
The plane! The plane!
- "The princess..."
- [PLANE APPROACHING]
-Bye-bye. -Bye.
[GIRLS GIGGLING]
- Good morning, boss.
- Good morning, Tattoo.
ROARKE: Smiles,
everyone. Smiles.
[CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING]
- TATTOO: There he is, boss.
- ROARKE: Yes, Tattoo,
your favorite comedian,
Mr. Beau Gillette.
TATTOO: Who's the
pretty lady with him?
ROARKE: Miss Jenny
Casey, Mr. Gillette's fiancée,
and as you can no
doubt tell, the two of them
- are very much in love.
- Which one has the fantasy?
Mr. Gillette.
His fantasy is for his
family to come to life.
The people he talks
about in his act?
-ROARKE: Right. -You mean,
they don't really exist?
No. His colorful
west-Texas relatives
are purely imaginary, Tattoo.
In fact, he keeps a
closely guarded secret.
TATTOO: But why, boss?
You will find out in due time.
- That's curious.
- TATTOO: What is, boss?
ROARKE: Those two young ladies.
I don't recall that they were
listed in the flight manifest.
Oh, I know them, boss.
The first lady is Claudia Mills
and the other one
is Harriet Wilson.
ROARKE: Ms. Claudia
Mills and Ms. Harriet Wilson,
how interesting that
you should know them.
You know I always say
that marriage is the most
sacred of all
human institutions?
Yes, Tattoo?
Well, they are
here to get married.
Oh?
The only problem,
they don't know
their husband yet.
Could it somehow be
that you are involved
in arranging such a meeting?
No, we left it to the computer.
-Computer? -TATTOO: Right.
-We? -Yes.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't tell you
about my partner, Ambrose?
Ambrose?
- He's the one with a computer.
- Ah.
We call our business
the Ideal Mate
Encounter Service.
The Ideal Mate what?
Encounter Service.
Encont? Encount... Oh, the
Ideal Mate Encounter Service.
Of course.
You realize that
matrimony is an arena
of great potential risk
to everyone concerned.
Don't worry, boss,
I can handle it.
That's precisely
what worries me most.
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
BEAU: To tell you
the truth, Mr. Roarke,
I'm more interested
in my fantasy
than I am checking
out that stage.
In your case, Mr. Gillette,
the stage is vital
to your fantasy.
As you realize,
your family lives only
in the deepest
recesses of your mind,
where you conceived
them while still a boy
in the St. Bridget orphanage.
But you can bring
them to life for me, right?
Oh, yes, yes. I can help
you do that, Mr. Gillette,
in the same way you
delighted the other children
in the orphanage.
The way you've
made audiences laugh
from coast to coast
for the past ten years
and made them think...
your family was a real one.
- You mean by me doing my act?
- Precisely.
[LAUGHS]
You know, it's like you said,
Mr. Roarke, I've been doing
that act for ten years...
and my family
hasn't come alive yet.
Ah!
But this...
is Fantasy Island, Mr. Gillette.
You must realize that once
your family becomes real...
they will be precisely
that, real people with minds
and motives of their own
over which you will have
no control whatsoever.
That's no problem, Mr. Roarke.
They're wonderful people!
They're warm and friendly.
-They're family. -I see.
- Oh, Jenny's going to love them.
- Uh-huh.
You know, I'm
doing this for her.
She doesn't know I'm an orphan
and that my family's
just make believe.
You could tell her
the truth, Mr. Gillette.
Not yet.
Not yet.
I... I played it
this way too long
and I want her to see me
like... Like I really am.
With real people and
a family that loves me.
[CHUCKLES] Yes. Well,
as you wish, Mr. Gillette.
Now, if you'll step
onto that stage
and begin your act, please.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, here goes.
I, uh... [CHUCKLES]
see you folks
are kind of into them fancy
Polynesian drinks, huh?
[CHUCKLING] You know,
the fanciest drink we ever had
in my part of Texas...
Tennessee sour
mash and a beer back.
I'll never ever forget
when my mama
caught me drinking for
the first time. Woo-hoo!
She set me down and
drank sh**t for sh**t
with me until...
Well, I... I was so sick I had
to go out to that little house.
Well, you know, the one
with the half-moon in the door.
I always said that that place...
Well, in the wintertime it
was yards too far away
and in the summer it
was yards too close.
You know, it never worried Mama.
She was always too
busy telling Uncle Jack
that his moonshine was too
weak to clean windows with.
But, now, Uncle
Jack played banjo
better than he made moonshine.
And he was usually happy
as he could possibly be.
Except one time.
He caught his daughter...
Now, that would be
my second cousin, Lindy.
She entered in a
wet t-shirt contest
down at the Dew Drop Inn.
[LAUGHS] And he...
She tried to convince him...
that she just walked
in out of the rain
and they handed her the trophy.
Now, Uncle Jack didn't
buy that for a minute.
Mama!
My God! Uncle Jack!
Lindy!
Hey, Mr. Roarke,
you did it! No, we did it!
- Tarnation, my family! Woo-hoo!
- [ALL CHEER]
- Come into my arms!
- So good to see you.
BEAU: Oh, lord!
There you are, Ms. Mills.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
- Oh, why thank you.
- My name is Tattoo.
I'm from the Ideal
Mate Encounter Service.
The what?
The Ideal Mate
Encounter Service.
Oh, yes, of course. How
nice. Oh, I'm so excited.
I brought with me the
computer return form
you asked me to bring
and also the picture you sent
me of the man I'm to marry.
Oh, he's wonderful.
When can I meet him?
Soon, I guess.
Uh-oh! [GASPS, CLEARS THROAT]
Is something wrong?
Wrong? What could be
wrong? Nothing's wrong.
Excuse me, Ms. Mills, but
I have to leave right away.
-See you later. -But...
Ms. Wilson?
-Yes? -Wait for me.
-Hello. -Hello.
I'm Tattoo, from The Ideal
Mate Encounter Service.
The what?
The Ideal Mate
Encounter Service!
Oh, yes, of course.
You've come to introduce me
to the man I'm going to marry.
Right. Do you have
your return card?
Oh, yes, it's right here.
He's the most handsome
man I’ve ever seen.
Thank you. [GASPS] Oh.
Uh... [STAMMERS]
- I think I just got fired.
- What did you say?
- I say, I just got inspired.
- [LAUGHS] Oh!
I have to go.
See you later, Ms. Wilson.
MAMA: We all know
where we come from.
From Beau's mind.
That's where we was born.
Most likely where
we'll die unless we do
some mighty fast thinking.
Remember when Beau didn't
used to think about nothing but us?
He'd sit around just
dreaming up new ways
to work us in into his act.
Yeah. Then she come
along, that Jenny gal.
Seem like Beau don't think about
nothing nowadays, excepting her.
Mama's right. We
got to change all that.
Who does she think she
is? Taking our place, his kin.
Family's been with him since
he was knee high to a stump.
While we made him
a big city success.
And what if they's
to have young'uns?
Why, he'd shove us so
far back into his mind that
we'd probably just fade
off until we was just nothing.
I think there's only
one thing to do.
I knowed you come
up with something.
We got to bust them two up.
How?
Sic Lindy onto Beau.
Ain't no man yet Lindy
wasn't able to tickle
the hay with! [LAUGHS]
Well, you know how
strong-willed Beau is.
What if it don't work?
Simple.
If Lindy don't get
the job done...
then you're just going to have
to k*ll that Jenny, Uncle Jack.
[♪♪♪♪♪]
AMBROSE: The
computer's showing no signs
of internal malfunction.
TATTOO: I don't
know. I don't know.
What about all
those lights there?
Maybe they've b*rned out.
No, they don't have
anything to do with it.
So why the computer sent
out those pictures of the boss?
I don't know. I fed it all
the data you requested,
profiles and photographs
of the most handsome
and sophisticated
men on Fantasy Island.
It was supposed to
select the perfect mate
for our lady customers.
Wait.
Here is a picture of the boss.
The computer picks
the boss every time.
AMBROSE: Well, in a way I guess
we can consider ourselves lucky
the mail hasn't
been picked up yet.
Imagine? Next week
Mr. Roarke might have had
more brides arriving.
Boy, I'd hate to
be in our shoes.
I think we already are.
What am I going to do?
How am I going
to leave the island
without the boss seeing me?
I've got it.
Swimming lessons.
Yeah!
Hey, everybody. Here's
somebody I want you to meet.
Jenny, this is my mom.
My Uncle Jack.
And my cousin Lindy.
And this is the little gal
that I'm going to marry.
- How do you do?
- We do just fine.
Honey, I'm sure
glad you're here!
Now you can buy
me another drink.
I had four of these
here umbrella things
and I don't even feel no buzz!
Mama, you shouldn't
drink so much!
Honey, if I hadn't done the
things I was told not to do,
you wouldn't even
be here, sonny boy.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Now, go ahead and
order me another drink,
and this time see that
there's some mule kick in it.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Hey, Beau, you know,
you can't get too mad
at Mama Gillette
for getting thirsty.
This here's steamy weather.
Takes some getting used to.
Mm. I love it. I think
it's just real sexy.
Well, it sure beats
that west Texas wind,
that's for sure.
Woo-hoo! It blowed so
hard out there one time
I seen an old hen with her
back to it lay the same egg
-three times. -[MAMA LAUGHING]
- Oh, mercy. Ain't that fine?
- Listen, Uncle Jack...
you better stop looking
at them half-naked women
or your pacemaker's
going on overload.
LINDY: Oh, leave him alone,
Mama Gillette! Let him look.
Beats the heck out
of sitting around home
watching that old pickup
truck rust. [LAUGHS]
Well, Jen, what do you
think of my family so far?
Well, they're just the
way you've always
described them, Beau.
Yeah, well, good.
'Cause they're going to be
your family too before long.
-[KNOCKING ON
DOOR] -Yes, come in.
Oh! Oh, I was told that I
could find you here, Mr. Roarke.
Oh, and now that
I see you up close,
you're even more handsome
than in your picture!
Oh, well, that's... That's
very flattering, Ms, uh...
Ms. Mills, isn't it?
Claudia. But don't be so formal.
Oh, thank you, Claudia.
Claudia, I'm curious.
May I ask exactly what
picture you're referring to?
Oh, yes!
The Ideal Mate Encounter
Service, of course.
[GASPS] I was thinking
that a garden wedding
would be lovely, don't you?
- Well, I...
- Oh, with a lot of champagne
and flowers and music. [GASPS]
Oh, I prefer Mozart if you
don't have any objections.
Oh, no, no, no! Absolutely not.
I've always thought that
garden weddings are lovely too.
I... I can hardly wait to make
the additional arrangements
that will be required.
Uh, Tattoo?
Oh, this is perfect!
You're perfect, Mr. Roarke!
Oh, you don't know how
happy you've made me.
Oh, no, no, no! On the contrary,
it is you who have
made me happy, Claudia.
- Tattoo?
- Do you think that we should
have rehearsal or do you think
that we should jump
in with both feet?
Oh, no, no, no, no!
We needn't be so hasty.
We can decide that later.
No, actually, there are
so many, uh, other details
which I shall have to attend to.
Uh, for instance, I'll
have to have a talk
with my assistant, Tattoo.
A very long talk, if
you will excuse me.
Oh, of course, Mr. Roarke.
I'll just go back to my
bungalow and get unpacked.
Excellent idea,
Claudia! Excellent.
Oh, Mr. Roarke!
Do you think that I
could be more informal?
I mean, now that we're
going to be married?
[STAMMERS] Oh,
why, of course, Claudia.
- Of course.
- You do have a first name?
[SIGHS] Oh, yes.
Yes, indeed I do.
Tattoo!
CLAUDIA: But what
is your first name?
ROARKE: Tattoo?
Tattoo?
Tattoo?
Oh, there you are!
I've been looking
all over for you.
Oh, well, I'm delighted.
Is there something
I can do for you?
-Mr. Roarke. -Yes?
-I'm Harriet Wilson. -Yes.
You know, the Ideal
Mate Encounter Service.
Oh, yes, yes. I'm
quite familiar with it.
Here you are. [CHUCKLES]
Oh, Mr. Roarke, I think
you take a wonderful picture.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I think we ought to be
married at sea, don't you?
-Well... -At dawn.
And we ought to
read our own vows.
I've already written mine.
Yes...
Yes, that would
lend a certain...
romantic flavor to the ceremony.
Tattoo?
Forgive me for shouting.
The excitement of such
- a momentous occasion...
- [HARRIET SIGHING]
and there are so
many preparations
that must be made.
Tattoo is my associate
in charge of weddings.
- HARRIET: Oh!
- I have a few things
-to say to him. -Good.
So, if you will
please excuse me...
Harriet.
Oh.
JENNY: You didn't see
the way they looked at me.
It was scary. Like
they hated me.
[SCOFFS] Well, you know
what, you really b*at all.
You have met every big
celebrity in Nashville, Tennessee,
never affected you a bit.
Little ol' family from
Texas comes up
and they got you up in smoke.
Hon, you don't know
how important it is for me
for you to like my family.
Give them a chance,
would you, huh?
I'm sorry, Beau.
I'll try to like 'em.
-I really will. -That a gal.
Listen, Cousin Lindy
said she wanted me
to meet her down by Twin Falls.
Said something was
wrong with Mama a little bit,
so I'll go on down there.
Why don't you come on
down in a little bit, okay?
And we'll have a nice
quiet supper somewhere.
Okay.
Hi, boss.
Well, I must say, Tattoo,
you've been quite elusive today.
- Well, we were busy.
- I see. Mr. Tuttle.
- How are you, Mr. Roarke?
- Fine, thank you.
Did you, uh, come
to see the computer?
Actually, I am here for
quite a different reason.
I thought you would
like to be the first to know
that I am engaged to be married.
[CHUCKLES]
That's great!
Thank you. But to two
entirely different women!
I strongly suspect that
these marital commitments
originated in this very room.
[TATTOO CLEARS THROAT]
Tattoo?
[CLEARS THROAT]
Ambrose, explain.
- Mr. Roarke, it was a mistake.
- Oh.
The computer malfunctioned.
We are very sorry, boss, but
maybe you have a suggestion.
Yes, I do!
You must find other
suitable husbands
for Ms. Wilson and
Ms. Mills at once!
[CREAKS]
Do you think your computer
is capable of that, Mr. Tuttle?
Oh, I... I sure hope
so, Mr. Roarke.
Oh, I do, too, Mr. Tuttle.
As I recall from her profile,
Ms. Mills was the bouncy,
all-American type girl.
[COMPUTER BEEPING]
[BEEPS]
Now, this gentleman should
be ideally suited for Ms. Mills.
Well, at least that will leave
me with only one fiancée.
However, you will also
find a suitable husband
for Ms. Wilson,
won't you, Mr. Tuttle?
Oh, sure.
[COMPUTER BEEPING]
Uh, Mr. Tuttle,
are you quite certain that
this is the only gentlemen
on Fantasy Island
who would fulfill
the high standards
set down by your
matrimonial services?
The computer never lies.
Well, then,
congratulations, Mr. Tuttle,
and all the happiness
in the world.
What?
-Me and Harriet Wilson? -Yes.
But I don't want to get married.
Oh, Mr. Tuttle, Tattoo
and I have already agreed
that marriage is a most
sacred and cherished institution.
Oh, and I will arrange for you
a most marvelous ceremony.
I assure you will
be very pleased.
And now, gentlemen...
good day.
I got your message
about Mama ailing.
What's the matter
with her, Lindy?
You'd better sit down, Beau.
Oh, it can't be that bad.
She's healthy as a horse!
You've been crying.
Beau, your mama
means an awful lot to me.
Almost as much as you do.
And I know that
with faith and love...
[SNIFFS] I know she's
going to be all right,
but I just need you
to comfort me, Beau.
- Now... Now... Now, easy.
- If you could just hold me.
Listen, that's a lot of
comforting there, cousin.
Make that second cousin Lindy.
Beau?
Oh, Lord. Jen!
Now, don't you go believing
what you thought you just saw.
- We was talking about Mama.
- I know what I saw,
Beau Gillette. And
with your own cousin!
Second cousin! That don't count.
I don't know what's going
on with your family, Beau,
but it isn't good fun like
you're always talking about.
All I know is I never want to
see your awful family again.
Ever!
I still don't understand
why you brought me here.
I want you to meet a man.
But I'm not interested
in meeting a man.
I'm perfectly happy with the
man the computer selected for me,
Mr. Roarke.
You see that man in the hot tub?
CLAUDIA: Who is he?
"Boardwalk" Brian Simms.
- Boardwalk who?
- He's a pro football star.
He was all-pro for three years.
I'm sorry, Tattoo,
I've never been much
of a football groupie.
[SIGHS] The computer
say he's perfect for you.
- Perfect.
- CLAUDIA: I'm sorry, Tattoo.
Anyway, Mr. Roarke has been
making plans for our wedding.
As a matter of fact,
he has been so busy
that I've hardly had
a chance to see him!
I've got an idea. Follow me.
Why don't you sit down there?
Now, look at me in the eyes.
Why are you looking
at me like that?
Oh, it's something that I
saw the boss do many times.
Oh.
Now, watch my eyes.
Concentrate.
Excuse me. You're Claudia Mills?
- Yes.
- My name is Ambrose Tuttle.
I, uh, thought Tattoo
would be with you.
Um, as a matter
of fact, he just...
He just left.
Oh?
Well, I'm sorry I disturbed you.
I just wanted him to know that
my computer was acting up again.
Computer? What do
you mean acting up?
AMBROSE: I don't
know if it's the CRT
or the memory interface...
Gee, I'm sorry, I know
all this technical language
doesn't mean anything to you.
For your information,
I graduated
from a systems analysis
class. I love computers!
AMBROSE: No kidding?
Gee, I... I hope
this doesn't sound...
real dumb or anything, but
I built my computer myself.
If you want to, um, maybe
you'd like to take a look at it?
You know what? I'd love to.
[SIGHS] Well, uh,
what are we waiting for?
It's not the greatest-looking
computer you've ever seen...
BEAU: Well, what am I
going to do, Mr. Roarke?
I've never seen
Jenny this upset.
I mean, she won't
even speak to me.
Which is exactly the
way your family planned it.
They feel threatened, you see.
The more Ms. Casey dominates
your mind and your heart,
the less real they become.
And they want to
stay, Mr. Gillette.
They want to stay at any cost.
Well, then, you're telling me
that if I want to
hold on to Jenny,
I can't have my
family, is that right?
Isn't it about time you
realize that your act
is not your life, Mr. Gillette?
Ms. Casey is real and
she loves you, not your act.
You must choose
which you really want.
Your family...
or Ms. Casey.
Well, it's Jenny, you know that.
But how do I do it?
By simply realizing that
your family needs you
far more than you need them.
Think about it, Mr. Gillette...
and I have a feeling you will
then tell Ms. Casey the truth.
- Thank you, Mr. Roarke.
- Yes, sir.
Ah.
Will you excuse me, please?
-[CLICKS FINGERS] -[GASPS]
May I inquire how you
happened to get hypnotized?
Boss, I was just trying
to introduce Ms. Wilson
to the man that the
computer chose for her,
but she wouldn't
cooperate, so...
So you tried to hypnotize her?
Yes, boss. But I think
we are in big trouble.
Oh, no, Tattoo, not at
all. You are in big trouble.
Me? But, boss, you can help me.
I always help you.
ROARKE: I am sorry, Tattoo.
This is something you
must work out for yourself.
And you must keep
foremost in your mind
that if you do not succeed
in fulfilling the fantasies
of those two young ladies,
you may give Fantasy
Island a very bad reputation,
maybe irreparable.
Boss, I will try to
think of something.
No, Tattoo, you must
think of something.
All right. All right, I will.
I got nothing to say to you,
Beau Gillette, so just go away.
Jen, I got to talk to
you for just a minute.
Oh, all right, but just for
a minute and that's all.
There's something I
should have said a long,
long time ago.
You know those
people you met today?
Mama and Uncle
Jack and Cousin Lindy?
They're not my real family.
What do you mean
they're not your real family?
I ain't got a real
family. I'm an orphan.
They're just somebody I
cooked up out of my mind.
I don't understand,
Beau. I mean, they're alive,
- same as you and me.
- Not really.
You see, I came here to
Mr. Roarke with a fantasy.
They're a fantasy?
That's it. I wanted to
bring my fun, happy family
to life for one weekend and
I wanted you to meet them.
And I wanted you to learn to
like them and love 'em like...
Like I have for so many years.
So you never really had
a family of your very own?
No! It's like I said,
I cooked them up
out of my own mind.
But the more I told
stories about them,
the more real they became.
And, Jen, they were
important to me.
We came down some
rough roads together.
And that's why I
wanted them to be real.
Not something just in my head.
I'm sorry, Beau, I don't
believe anybody can do
what you're saying.
Even Mr. Roarke.
BEAU: I didn't either.
Till I saw it.
Jen, there's only one
thing I want you to believe.
That I love you
and I want you to be my wife
more than anything in the world.
That's all I want, too, Beau.
I'm gonna go on
that stage tonight,
and they're going to be there.
And I want you there, too.
And I'll show you, Jen,
how very much I do love you.
I'm sure this Ambrose is
a very nice man, Tattoo,
but I still don't
want to meet him.
He's a great man. He's a genius!
I don't know.
Tattoo, isn't that Brian
Simms, the football star?
You don't want to meet him.
Ooh, why not? [CHUCKLES]
-TATTOO: Bad wheels. -Huh?
-You know, a bad leg? -Oh, yes.
- Come on.
- No. I'm sorry, Tattoo,
I'm not going with you.
That's my final
word on the matter.
-Hi, I'm Harriet Wilson. -Hi!
I saw you play in the
Super Bowl last year
when you broke all those
NFL records in one game.
-It was great! -Oh, thank you.
I'm sorry about your knee.
I can see it still gives
you a lot of pain, doesn't it?
I should be wearing my
brace, but every once in a while
I just feel like
taking it off out here
where nobody can
see me like this.
Oh, you poor thing.
Here let me help you.
Do you think we can
sit down for a minute?
I'm having a tough
time defying gravity here.
Oh, your knee? Oh, of
course, how thoughtless of me.
- No, it's...
- Oh, I'm sorry. Here, yes.
- Come right over here.
- No, it's fine.
-No, now, be careful. -I'm fine.
- All right. Um, gently.
- [GRUNTS]
-Oh, boy! -Is that better?
Yeah, that's much
better. Yes, thanks.
But, uh, do you think you
can look at this one over here?
[BOTH LAUGH]
I'm having trouble
with this one now.
Oh, gee! [CHUCKLES]
[APPLAUSE]
BEAU: And Mama finally said,
"Well, now, we've had enough
and we're going to get 'em."
And boy, we did. We took
off like a heard of turtles
for a place called
Nacogdoches, Texas.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
And if you ain't ever
been to Nacogdoches,
well, let's put it like this,
it ain't one of the metropolitan
areas of the southwest.
You've got to be
going to Nacogdoches,
because it ain't on
the way to nowhere.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
And I said, "Well, we're
here, I got to do something."
I said, "I like 'em -wheelers.
And I think I'd like
to drive a truck."
That was before I got
acquainted with truck drivers.
Now, them sap suckers,
most of 'em are big and tough.
Some of the women is
tougher than the men.
- MAN: Oh yeah!
- You take Rita Baloo.
Now, I guarantee you
there's a gal that could drink
and dance any of us
under the table and
then get up at two o'clock
and help you load your semi.
[LAUGHING]
So, naturally, she got
the job driving the truck
and I got fired.
No, honey, you didn't
get fired, you quit.
Just like you're
fixing to do tonight.
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
I figured it was about time
these folks met your family.
BEAU: Uh, well, uh...
[PLAYING BANJO]
- [AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
- MAN: There's little sis!
Mr. Roarke, can't you see
what they're trying
to do to Beau?
Oh, yes, Ms. Casey, their
intentions are quite clear.
If they win now, he
will never be able
to separate
fantasy from reality.
Well, you have to stop 'em!
I'm afraid I can't, Ms.
Casey. Only he can stop them.
His mind...
and his love for you.
The last time I was
in Fort Worth, Texas,
I entered the Dolly
Parton look-alike contest.
Lindy took first prize
for looking like herself.
[LAUGHING]
All right, I want
you off my stage!
I know you're trying to hurt me,
but why are you
trying to wreck my act?
Honey, we are the act.
We always have been.
Beau, don't give in to them.
Our love's stronger than
all of them put together.
All right, that is
about far enough!
[AUDIENCE MURMURING]
I... I apologize for
this interruption.
But that won't happen again...
because, well, after tonight
my family's not going
to be in my act anymore.
And the reason is that,
well, they're not my family,
they never were.
Well, not my real family.
I'll admit that there's
some times when, boy,
it would have been
real nice to have a mama
to tuck me in
and tell me stories
or maybe an Uncle Jack to...
teach me to play the banjo or...
a pretty cousin to teach...
Well... [CHUCKLES]
you know what
pretty cousins teach.
But...
the truth of the
matter is that, uh...
the only family I got in the
whole wide world's right here.
And I love you, Jen.
You won, Beau. You won.
BEAU: I loved
them, too. I, uh...
But I guess there's a
time in every man's life
when he's got to
leave one family and...
move on to a new one.
Well, I thank you
folks for being here.
Good luck. God bless.
And come see old Beau now
and then. Thank you so much.
[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]
-[KNOCKING ON
DOOR] -Yes, come in.
Good evening, Harriet. Do
come in. Please have a seat.
Now, I apologize if I seem
to have been neglecting you.
- But, you see, unfortunately...
- No, no...
some of the preparations
have been extremely
-time-consuming. -Oh!
- Unfortunately for me...
- Mr. Roarke?
Yes, Harriet?
There's something
I have to tell you.
What is it, Harriet?
I can't marry you.
- What?
- You see, I've met another man.
A man who's suffered
a great deal of pain.
A man who needs
someone to look after him...
to take care of him.
Ms. Wilson, I can
only say that...
That I admire your courage
for coming here and
telling me personally...
rather than have
me hearing it from...
- [SIGHS] ...a total stranger.
- Oh!
Thank you for understanding.
Goodbye, Mr. Roarke.
Goodbye, Ms. Wilson.
[EXHALES]
Well, I trust you're
enjoying yourselves.
-Mr. Roarke. -[ROARKE CHUCKLES]
Oh, Mr. Roarke, could I
speak to you for a few minutes?
Oh, of course, Claudia.
Uh, privately.
It's very personal.
Will you excuse us?
-Mr. Roarke? -Yes, Claudia?
I don't know quite
where to begin.
Well, why not begin
at the beginning.
Please understand
how painful this is for me.
Oh?
I only hope that
you'll be brave enough
to hear what I have to say.
I'll try to be. I'll try very
hard to be, Claudia.
I...
Yes?
I can't go through with
our wedding, Mr. Roarke.
What?
I've met someone else.
Oh, Mr. Roarke, Ambrose is
such a dear and gentle man.
I...
I understand, Ms. Mills.
And I can certainly see
why you are attracted to him.
Oh, thank you, Mr. Roarke.
Tattoo gave me the
courage to speak to you.
Oh, I see.
He said you'd be
understanding...
and he was right.
Boss, I did it. I told
you I could do it.
Yes, you did
indeed, Tattoo. Yes.
Now, tell me, what is this
I hear about your taking
a crash course in
swimming lessons?
Would you believe it if I
tell you I want to become
a frog man?
Not for a minute, no.
Frog man.
[LAUGHS]
[LAUGHS]
[CALYPSO MUSIC PLAYING]
Tattoo, my friend,
I want you to have
this to remember me by.
- It's an old Texas custom.
- Oh, thank you.
Mr. Roarke, Beau
and I would like
to thank you for everything.
I'm very happy for both of you.
Goodbye,
Mr. Gillette, Ms. Casey.
Much happiness.
Wave, Tattoo. Wave!
[WOMEN LAUGHING]
-Uh, Tattoo, may I? -Oh, yes.
Oh, it's a beautiful hat.
Take it to my office, will you?
Boss?
We'll have it sized
down to fit you.
Don't worry. It's a
beautiful hat. [CHUCKLES]
Thank you. Thank you, boss.
-Thank you. -Yes.
Well, I guess this is
goodbye, Mr. Roarke.
Thanks for everything.
Especially for being
such a good sport.
Oh, not at all.
And that goes for me, too.
Goodbye, Mr. Roarke. Tattoo.
- Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Mr. and Mrs. Simms,
and congratulations
on your marriage.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
Here.
- We'd like to thank you, too.
- Oh, thank you.
This is goodbye
for a while, Tattoo,
but you keep an eye on my
computer for me, will you?
I will. I've got plans for it.
Uh, goodbye, Ms.
Mills. Mr. Tuttle.
- Mr. Roarke. Tattoo.
- Goodbye, partner.
Tell me, Tattoo...
exactly what kind
of plans do you have
for the computer, huh?
Well, everything came
out all right, didn't it?
After taking a somewhat
torturous course, they did, yes.
Then I don't see why I
should go out of business.
Because we don't
want to have any more
t*rture around here, that's why.