(BELL RINGING)
Good morning, Mr. Roarke.
Good morning, Lawrence.
Smiles, everyone. Smiles!
(TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
LAWRENCE: Ah,
unabashedly friendly, vivacious,
a woman of quality.
I can tell at a glance.
Yes, Mrs. Esther Brandell,
who tells me she's a
retired sorority house mother
from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
-Missus, sir? -Disappointed?
Well, she did get
off the plane alone,
so I naturally assumed...
You assumed correctly.
The lady's husband
d*ed several years ago,
but she's come to Fantasy Island
to get married again.
And her fantasy is
to have her wedding
made truly memorable
by having her three favorite
former sorority house
girls act as her bridesmaids.
-However... -A problem, sir?
-That remains to be seen. -Oh.
- Sir, is she the only guest?
- Yes, Lawrence.
And the lady is not at
all what she seems to be
or has told us she is.
In fact, she'll be very lucky
if her three favorite girls
don't despise her
before her fantasy's over.
My dear guest...
I am Mr. Roarke, your host.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
I think my heart is gonna pop.
I don't know whether I'm more
excited about getting married
or about getting together again
with Colleen, Bebe, and Leanne.
Did you have any
trouble finding them?
There was some
difficulty, yes, uh-huh.
And you're sure they
don't know it was me
who put up the money
to get them here?
I am sure, yes.
I followed your
instructions explicitly.
Nor are the ladies aware of each
other's presence on the island,
also as you instructed.
Okay then, well, let's
get this show on the road.
What happens now?
The ladies have been
invited to a cocktail party
in exactly one hour.
They each received
this invitation.
It's all right. I
dictated it, remember?
"Alpha Tau Epsilon invites
you to a weekend at Fantasy..."
-Sigma, ma'am. -What?
Alpha Tau Sigma.
You said Epsilon.
Oh, you're right.
I never could get those
crazy sorority names straight.
Bebe?
BEBE: Colleen?
Ah!
Oh, Bebe, I don't believe it!
What are you two doing here?
-Leanne! -Bebe, hi.
-Hi. -Hi.
Oh, I don't know
what's going on here,
but I think it's great.
The day Brandy got closed down,
I figured we'd never
see each other again.
Don't even mention that name.
Girls, what are we doing here?
Yeah, who do you suppose
would set up something like this?
I can think of one
good possibility.
-Me too. -Brandy.
But why?
Well, we were her
favorites, remember?
Maybe she thought getting
the three of us together
would be a real kick.
LEANNE: But why
after all these years?
Ah, ladies, you
are all here. Good.
May I present the
lady who is responsible
for your weekend
on Fantasy Island,
Mrs. Esther Brandell.
We already guessed.
Well, aren't you glad to see me?
Should we be?
She's got a point, Brandy.
Should we be?
Hey, hey, listen, guys.
It was us against
the world, remember?
Maybe we don't want to remember.
There's no "maybe" about it.
I'm sorry, Brandy.
Did you expect something
more from them, Mrs. Brandell?
Also, I believe
there is something
you neglected to
tell me, am I correct?
Yeah.
I got a feeling you
already know what it is.
Well, I know you were
never a housemother
for the Alpha Tau
Sigma sorority,
nor any other
sorority for that matter.
In fact, you ran
a call-girl service
and these three
girls worked for you.
Well, if you want it
in plain language...
That's right. That's
right, Mr. Roarke.
I was a madam and
the three of them...
Were hookers.
It was just a cocktail
party for ladies.
What is this Alpha Tau
Sigma? You've never been inside
a college, let alone
a sorority house.
So what? I had friends who were.
Friends. What kind of a
friend pays our way out here,
- puts us up for the weekend...
- Don't start this.
And then invites you, not
us, you, to a cocktail party?
What friend does that? Why?
All right, Kurt, let's hear it.
- It's somebody, Leanne.
- Oh, stop it! Will ya stop it?
You are making it with somebody.
If I am, it's a habit I
picked up from you.
Well, I can always leave!
Oh, baby.
Why do we always
do this to each other?
Be nice, huh?
Come on, sweetheart. I
need you to be sweet to me.
I want us to have
a real good time
while we're here.
Come on. How about it?
Maybe. I'll let you know.
Well, the way I see it is,
right after our honeymoon...
Oh, Gordon, please.
I really don't feel like talking
about marriage right now.
Bebe, look. I can't stand
your saying no anymore.
Don't you understand, I... Oh...
I... Oh...
I think I... No, I am.
I'm... I'm having
a heart att*ck.
Gordon, is this another
one of your jokes?
Gordon! Oh...
Oh, my God, Gordon, speak to me.
You do love me,
huh? Let's get married.
Oh!
Wait a minute. Hey,
can't you take a joke?
Hey, Bebe! Bebe,
baby, lighten...
Excuse me, thank
you. Lighten up!
Bebe.
Well, whoever arranged
this mystery weekend
sure picked a beautiful place.
I just wish I could enjoy it.
Oh, Mark, stop buying trouble.
Channel needs you
more than you need them.
They're not gonna boot you out.
Well, your confidence
in me is not shared
by the station manager, Colleen.
I'm supposed to be a creative
producer, and I haven't come up
with any original
programing all season.
Oh, you'll come
up with something.
Go in there on Monday and
hit him with some new ideas.
That's what I love about
you romantic novelists,
you're so in touch
with the real world.
You know, Mark, your jealousy
of my career is not one of
your more attractive attributes.
Well, at least it's something
I'm a success at, right?
I love you. Doesn't that
count for something?
Yeah. It does.
Gordon, I believe a relationship
should be based on
honesty, don't you?
I mean, if it's gonna last.
Well, yeah. Honesty
is the best policy.
That's what you keep telling me.
Well, then there's something
I've been meaning to tell you
for a long time.
Ten years ago,
before I became a one-man woman,
like I am now...
There used to be
lots of men for money.
You know what I mean?
Baby... Bebe, you mean,
you're trying to tell me
that you were a hooker?
I mean, the All-American
girl was a hooker?
Right. I used to get paid
for sleeping with men.
Right, yeah. I understand.
(CHUCKLING)
Okay. I mean, whatever you say.
Getting back at me for
my jokes, aren't you?
Okay, Gordon. Okay,
fine. Don't worry.
I'll find some way
to prove it to you.
-Okay, fine. -Oh, come...
-No. Bebe, now... -Fine!
(LAUGHING) Oh, come on, gosh.
Ah, Mrs. Brandell.
I hope I didn't keep
you waiting too long.
No. Not at all.
Good.
I need your help, Mr. Roarke.
-Yes? -And I would like
to tell you a few
things about myself.
It isn't really necessary.
Oh, I know that. I want to.
All right.
You see...
I never had a home as a kid.
Nobody wanted me.
So I started out as
just one of the girls.
A plain old hooker.
But then, with a
couple of breaks,
I was running my own
operation before long, and
I did pretty good
too, till the roof fell in.
When the authorities
intervened, hmm?
-Yeah. -Yes.
I did three years of hard time.
I paid my dues.
But when I got out, the
girls had moved away.
- You tried to find them?
- Oh, sure.
I wrote letters.
Most of them came back unopened.
Mr. Roarke, they're
ashamed of me.
Of what I remind them of.
And very naturally alarmed
that you will somehow
reveal their past.
Oh, I can understand that.
And maybe I was
wrong in doing this.
But...
You see, I never had a family.
Those girls were my
family, you understand?
And I did everything I could
under the circumstances.
Oh, I'm sure you did.
Girls in that racket
aren't exactly candidates
for Society Girl of the Year.
Most of them come
from broken homes.
They're neglected,
abused, the usual.
Take... Take
Colleen, for example.
She's a writer, you know.
Oh, a very successful
novelist, yes.
When I first met her,
she didn't understand words
that were three syllables,
but there was something in her.
So you did something about it.
You bought her
books, encouraged her.
Well, you should feel a
great sense of achievement,
Mrs. Brandell.
I guess.
Now, Bebe.
Oh, Bebe was just
the opposite of Colleen.
Not much one for books
but pretty as a... Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- Pretty as a picture,
so I... I pushed
her into modeling.
And it took a long time,
but, you know,
she's turning up now
in television shows
and magazine ads.
-Doing very well, yes. -Yeah.
And your third girl?
Oh, Leanne.
Well, she always thought
she didn't deserve
anything better.
About the time I was building up
her self-respect a
little, I went to jail.
You are the victim of
an irony, Mrs. Brandell.
Although your girls benefited
from the encouragement
you gave them,
they now see you as a thr*at
to their new lives.
Perhaps if you give
them a little more time.
Oh, you know I only have
this weekend, Mr. Roarke.
Maybe it was selfish
of me to ask them
to come to my wedding.
Well, if you'll help
me wind this up.
If I can, I will.
These were supposed to be the
bride's gifts to her bridesmaids,
but under the circumstances...
You see, I... I held
back some of their pay
and invested it.
I did pretty good for 'em, too.
-May I? -Sure.
Well, indeed you
did, Mrs. Brandell.
See that they get
their checks for me.
Will you please?
I think I have a much
better idea than that.
Excuse me, here it is.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right, so maybe I still have
some hang-ups from those days,
but I'm not the only one.
Well, that's for sure.
See? No wedding
rings on me either.
How come? You always wanted
to get married and
have lots of babies.
You love children.
I know. I still do.
So does Gordon.
The problem is, I just haven't
been able to come clean yet.
I know how you feel.
I haven't told Kurt either.
Same with Mark.
It's awful always
being frightened
that he's going to find out.
I wish Brandy could
understand that.
How must she feel, us
giving her the cold shoulder?
Don't look now but
here she comes.
Ah, good afternoon, ladies.
Thank you for accepting
my invitation to meet me here.
There is something important
Mrs. Brandell
wishes to tell you.
Mrs. Brandell.
I really don't think we're
interested, Mr. Roarke.
Why don't you wait and see.
All right.
Mrs. Brandell.
I'm sorry things
worked out this way.
Really, I am.
But I... I owe y'all something.
Leanne.
Bebe.
Colleen.
What is it?
Well, open them.
Remember my telling
you I was going to put
some of your money
aside for a rainy day?
Well, I did.
I invested it.
Those checks
represent the profits.
Well, I really
appreciate it, Brandy.
But what's the big
deal about $ ?
(GIGGLING)
I suggest you look a little
closer at the exact placement
of the decimal
point, Ms. DeForest.
(GASPING) $ , .
If you were so
anxious to give us this,
why didn't you just
put it in the mail?
That's a fair question.
Uh, number one, you
didn't answer my letters.
And, uh...
And number two, I...
Am getting married tomorrow.
Married?
That's wonderful.
Yeah, Brandy. That's terrific.
But what... What does
that got to do with us?
Don't you remember
how we used to talk?
My saying that if I ever got
married again, I wanted my...
My three favorite girls
to be my bridesmaids?
I remember.
It would mean so much to me.
Colleen?
I can't.
(SIGHING)
Bebe.
(SIGHING)
I don't know.
Well, if I can't
have all of you...
Leanne, having
you there would...
Really mean a lot.
Look, you say this
money is mine, okay?
(SNIFFLING)
Thanks.
But I got a marriage to protect.
I'm sorry.
(TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Boy, that was good. Honey,
I'll be right back, okay?
(TROPICAL MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, Brandy, please, go away.
I just wanted to talk
to you for a minute.
My husband's going
to be back any second.
I just wanted to tell
you how sorry I am
if I caused you any trouble.
You know I would never
do anything to hurt you.
Please just go away.
-Colleen... -Now.
Seems there are lines
everywhere these days.
Hello. Mark
Hodges. And you're...
Uh, Mrs. Brandell.
She's a friend of mine from...
From school.
Really? Where is that?
Uh, Oregon State.
I interviewed Brandy
for the school newspaper.
Oh, honey, you remember
that column I did about people
and the kinds of
work that they do.
Oh, yeah, sure.
What kind of work did
you do, Mrs. Brandell?
I ran an escort service.
Oh, that's interesting.
Look, Mark, we
really have to go.
It was really nice
to see you, Brandy.
- I... I've...
- No, wait a minute, honey.
Wait a minute.
What kind of service
did you provide?
Just the usual kind.
A John would call...
A "John"?
I don't think that's the term
they use in computer dating.
Uh, Mrs. Brandell,
no offense intended,
but were you a madam?
Was that your line of work?
No, no, no, wait.
Mrs. Brandell, I'm...
I'm the Director of Programing
for a television station
back home and frankly,
I could use something
controversial and exploitive
and I think that an
interview with an ex-madam
- just might do the trick.
- Oh, Mark...
Why? What's the matter?
She's not ashamed of her past.
Could make a terrific
spot on the : news.
Wait... You've made
something of your life.
This could be your
opportunity to show the world
it's possible to change.
Sure, why not?
Great. Uh, tomorrow
morning at : ?
-Fine. -Our bungalow?
- Okay.
- I'll see you there. Thanks.
I looked into your purse to find
a little tip money
for the bartender.
Look what I found.
It's a check for $ ,
made out to you.
You want to explain?
Well?
I never intended
to tell you this, Kurt.
Never.
But since you forced me to...
It's about what I was
doing before I met you.
As opposed to after you met me?
You've always been wrong
about there being other men
after we were married, Kurt.
It was before we were married.
What are you saying?
After we were married,
there was only you, Kurt.
But before...
There were salesmen, lawyers,
executives, bank presidents.
(CHUCKLING)
There was even a head of state.
Getting the picture, Kurt?
I was a call girl.
Well, aren't you going
to say something?
Yeah.
Thanks.
For what?
For confirming what
I've always really known.
Kurt.
I always knew about
your humble beginnings.
Those folks had nothing on you.
They were just trash.
Baby, you're garbage.
Here she is.
Brandy, hi.
I've been looking
all over for you.
Could do me a favor, please?
I want you to tell
Gordon who you are.
I mean, the truth.
Hi, I'm Brandy Brandell.
-Hi. -No.
I mean, what you used to be,
what I used to be.
- I tried to tell Gordon.
- Bebe...
Really, I want him
to know the truth.
Please?
There are a couple of popular
words for it in the dictionary.
One starts with "W" and
the other one starts with "P."
What's going on?
GORDON: Look,
first of all, Bebe,
you made a very bad choice here.
Look, I understand,
she caught you cold.
But the next time Bebe tries
to con you into pretending
that you're a madam,
wear a lot of makeup
or dye your hair red.
Something, you know?
Excuse us.
You run pretty good. I've
been trying to catch you.
- Oh?
- I'm Kurt, Leanne's... Beloved.
Oh, well, what do you want?
I've been thinking about this...
This little reunion that
you're having with...
Well, what do I call them?
Your cute little tricks.
I've been trying to
keep it a big secret.
Have you got a point?
Just that I'm in on the secret.
And?
And if you want
to keep it that way,
it's going to cost you.
You can go to hell as
far as I'm concerned.
Look at it this way.
You want to see what
happens to Leanne
and cute little Bebe and Colleen
when I spread the word
around they're all ex-hookers?
You want to see what
happens to their neat little lives?
You really are scum, mister.
How much to get you
out of Leanne's life?
Just grand.
Let's keep our labels
straight, madam.
You, Leanne, the others...
You're the scum.
MARK: Okay, now remember,
there's nothing to
be nervous about.
BRANDY: All right.
I'm ready when you are.
-Okay, you can roll. -(COUGHING)
Ladies and gentlemen, we're
here with Mrs. Brandy Brandell,
who is a very attractive
woman, as you can see,
but what may surprise you
is her former occupation.
Would you tell us what
that was, Mrs. Brandell?
Uh, I was a madam.
I ran a call girl service.
And your girls furnished
sexual favors for clients?
A very selective clientele.
I... I did everything I
could to protect my girls.
You know, we've all seen
beautiful young actresses
lend their personalities
and their talents
to the role of prost*tute,
and certain young girls
might use that as a rationale
to think it's a glamorous
and acceptable way of life.
Do you have any
comments on that?
I, uh... I suppose
that's possible
but, uh, I... I don't
think many kids
get into prostitution
because of that.
No, most of the ones I
knew were just plain victims.
Usually of some man...
Their fathers, stepfather,
an uncle, a boyfriend.
But why prostitution?
It's a way of making a living.
And, believe it or not...
Of getting some
expression of love.
No matter how
degrading that might sound
to an outside viewpoint.
Mrs. Brandell, I think our
viewers might be interested
in knowing if that is,
in fact, your own story,
if that's how you got started.
(CHUCKLING)
Hell, Mr. Hodges, that's
the way we all got started,
more or less.
MAN: Okay,
fellas, let's take five.
We got a good
take, Mrs. Brandell.
You're doing great.
You know a lot of... A
lot of young people have
a rough time when
they're kids, right?
Right.
Well, not all them turn to
prostitution, why just some?
Oh, for God sakes, will
you just leave her alone?
Why? We're into
something important here.
It's all right, Colleen.
I can handle it.
In other words, why did I do
it and some other girls didn't?
That's what you're after,
right? The moral issue?
MARK: Exactly.
Well, you see, nobody
ever bothered to give me
any kind of
standards to judge by.
I was years old before
I found some for myself.
For me and my girls.
Were you lucky?
Damn lucky.
A lot of the girls ended
up on booze, or dr*gs,
or dead somewhere in an alley.
Look, this is a very degrading,
lousy, dead-end business,
and the only good thing
that ever came out of it
was the help I was able
to give some of those girls.
Hey, why do you think
I'm doing this interview?
If I can give... If I can give
just a little hope to
one of those girls,
if I can... If I can help just
one of them to get out...
Well, if you did
all you say you did,
it sounds to me like you
expect a little gratitude.
What? They don't
owe my anything.
Oh, sure I protected
them, I watched over them.
I... I made sure they
didn't do anything crazy.
And I happen to know that
all that worrying and caring
paid off because none
of them are junkies.
They're alive,
they're beautiful,
and they don't owe
me anything for that.
Yeah, but no matter
how you slice it,
you still hired them out.
You have no right
to talk to her like that.
How do you want
me to talk to her?
Like a warm, caring human being
with a little understanding
and compassion.
I'll leave that to the audience.
Of course, they may come
to the conclusion that madams
go looking for these girls
wherever they can find them,
promise them all sorts
of wonderful things,
and before they
know what's happened,
these innocent kids are tramps.
Brandy never did
anything like that!
How would you know, Colleen?
Because I was
one of those tramps!
Sitting all by yourself
on such a beautiful day?
Where's Mr. Mills?
He's over there.
Excuse me, Mr. Roarke.
Would you excuse
us for a moment?
There's something I want
to talk over with Bebe.
Oh, of course.
Excuse me.
-Uh, Bebe... -Mmm-hmm?
You were telling
me the truth, right,
about what you used to be?
Yes.
Well, to prove it, good
old Ed over there...
See the guy in the blue blazer?
Uh-huh.
He has agreed to be your client.
Oh, Gordon, I've had
enough of your jokes.
No, no. This is for real, Bebe.
See, now you can show
me how you used to operate
when you were a call girl.
-(CHUCKLING) -That's sick.
Not as long as we keep laughing
or you decide to
call the joke off.
All right.
Ed.
Ed, Bebe. Bebe, Ed.
(MEN CHUCKLING)
bucks.
Uh... (CHUCKLING)
Bebe, we are
talking principle here.
Oh, oh, I get it. I see.
You want to mess up the deal
so that you can get rid of him
and keep your little joke going.
Eh, bucks is okay with me.
Good-bye, Gordon.
-Ed, is it? -Thanks, Gordy.
Oh. (LAUGHING) Hi, Mr. Roarke.
I was just, uh...
So, how you doing?
Very well, thank you, Mr. Mills.
I was hoping Ms.
DeForest would be with you.
Is she in the bungalow?
Well, yes, she
is, but she's busy.
What I mean is,
she's not really busy.
She's just trying to make
me believe that she's busy.
I'm not sure I understand.
You want to hear a
good one, Mr. Roarke?
That girl in there, you know,
who looks like she was born
with "Miss All-American"
stamped right on her forehead?
I mean, she's
quite a joker, see.
And she's trying to convince
me that she used to be
a lady of easy virtue.
You know, a hooker.
Indeed.
You'll forgive me,
but I'm puzzled.
Just how does she intend
to convince you of this?
Well, I called her bluff, see?
And she's going
along with the gag.
I mean, I set her up with a guy,
and they're in
there together now.
See, it's like a joke.
I think you're going to find out
that it's a very
bad joke, Mr. Mills.
Maybe we should talk about it.
Okay.
LEANNE: Kurt, I'm
begging you. Don't go.
Don't leave me.
We have had some
good times, sweetheart,
but I am out of
your life for good.
I'll do anything,
anything you want.
Just stay with me.
(CHUCKLING) I've
already got what I want.
How'd you get that?
Well, your old boss
lady just understands
the value of public relations.
You blackmailed her?
Well, that's a naughty word.
Let's just say that she has
a soft spot in her heart
for ex-hookers like you.
Kurt, love me. Everything
will be all right again
if we just hold each other,
if we just love each other.
It won't work anymore,
knowing it was all an act.
I was just another John.
That's not true. It
wasn't like that with you.
With you it was special.
Oh, well, I'll just have to
take your word for that, baby.
You're the expert.
Ed, why don't you have a drink?
Nah, I can have a drink anytime.
Hey, look, what's the problem?
Problem? What makes
you think there's a problem?
Well, you still got your
clothes on, for one thing.
Of course I do.
I never met a
bashful hooker before.
Or is that your little come on?
Uh, Ed, you seem
like a nice guy.
Oh, damn nice. Try me.
Yeah, well, that's what I
think we ought to talk about,
'cause see, I can't.
I just can't go through with it.
If it's the ante, I'll up it.
No, no, it's not that,
and... And it's not you.
It's just... I can't.
I'm sorry.
I can't. I'm sorry.
Leanne, what are you doing here?
Wondering what
happened to my husband.
That check you gave him was
a one-way ticket out of my life.
Damn it! You had
no right to interfere.
Leanne, smarten up.
He would have walked
out on you anyway.
The money just
hurried things up.
So now I'm alone.
You think that's any better?
You're darn right.
You have such a negative
picture of yourself that
a little acceptance from anyone,
even trash like Kurt,
is better than nothing.
Now, why are you
so hard on yourself?
You know why.
Nobody knows better than you.
Because you're an ex-hooker?
There are a lot of girls
who are ex-hookers who
finally accept who they were.
Oh, Leanne, you're
hurting, I know.
I know how you feel.
But you've got a
lot going for yourself.
Use it, darn it!
I don't know how.
Practice. It's the only way.
Would I steer you wrong, honey?
You taught me to be a whore.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh, we'll find a way, honey.
We'll find a way to
make things right.
All right.
Let me have it, both
barrels. I'm ready.
Brandy, what's wrong with me?
Oh.
Oh, what happened?
Well, I tried to
sleep with this guy,
you know, to prove to Gordon
that I really was a hooker,
to get things out
into the open and...
And you... You're afraid
he won't be able to accept it.
No, I'm afraid he will.
What?
Well, remember how
I always had this thing
about telling the truth?
Yeah.
Well, I always said I
wouldn't get married
until I told Gordon
about my past.
That's why I kept
saying no to him.
Only now I finally told him
and he doesn't believe me,
which is exactly the same
as if I never told him at all, so...
Now, maybe I don't
want to marry anybody.
Maybe I'm...
Maybe I'm just not
a one-man woman.
Bebe, you're not telling me
you want to go back to being...
Back to work.
I don't know.
I mean, you never know
about things like that.
I realize it's been years.
Ten years.
How long does it
take to prove a point?
That John you were
telling me about...
You couldn't make
it with him, right?
Right.
All I could think
about was Gordon.
Well, when you really
only want to get it on
with one special
guy, like Gordon...
There's a name
for that condition.
What?
Love.
(LAUGHING)
Colleen?
Wait a minute, Colleen.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Look, I've been thinking.
Any way you want to
end it is fine with me.
You can have your
lawyer handle it.
You don't even
have to see me again.
You can have it
annulled if you want.
Listen to me.
Everything that Mrs. Brandell
and you told me, I already knew.
What are you saying?
I probably would never,
ever have mentioned it and...
If Brandy hadn't
come into your life,
but I'm glad that she did.
Honey, I know what a
nightmare this has been for you.
The fear of me finding out, and
your running away from the past.
I wanted you to
be free of all of that.
That's why I pursued Brandy...
Because I wanted you
to admit what you were
on your own and you've done it.
You've done it.
And now we can both forget it.
I don't believe this.
How long have you known?
I started as an investigative
reporter, my love.
And you investigated me?
More by accident
than anything else.
A little while after we met, I
found one of Mrs. Brandell's
letters that you'd thrown away.
Wait... You knew I
was an ex-hooker
almost from the beginning
and you married me anyway?
Well, it shook me up.
But I was intrigued to know
more about an ex-hooker
who had a higher
I.Q. than I did.
Oh, what about the
interview with Brandy?
Never be used.
It was just a way
to set you free.
Come on.
Don't worry, Mrs. Brandell.
I'm sure the groom
will arrive on time.
Suffice it to say,
Lawrence, that I don't think
it's the groom's arrival
Mrs. Brandell is
concerned about.
He's right.
He'll be here.
The girls...
Well, I guess I can't blame
them for not showing up.
Lawrence, looks like I'm
going to need a maid of honor.
I'm sorry, madam. I
haven't a thing to wear.
However, I am certain
Lawrence would be honored
to give the bride away,
won't you, Lawrence?
Oh, yes indeed.
In that case, madam, I
do have something to wear.
Now, if you'll excuse me.
I hear there's going to
be a wedding around here.
Colleen.
- What changed your mind?
- Mark. Everything's all right.
MARK: It's more than all right.
Oh, I'm so glad.
Bebe.
-Bebe! -Oh!
Oh, I can't believe it.
If I were any happier it
would probably be illegal.
Brandy, this is Gordon, my...
- Oh sure, Gordon, hi!
- Yes, we met.
No, no. You
didn't let me finish.
What I was going to
say is this is Gordon,
my future husband.
How about that?
What wonderful news.
-Yeah. -You finally said yes.
Well, actually this time
she popped the question,
and I said yes.
Oh.
Mr. Mills, your boutonniere.
-Oh, excuse me. -We'll see ya.
So, tell me, did he finally
believe you or what?
All I can say is I'm going
to be married in white.
Gordon wants it that way.
I'll tell you about it later,
but I guess Mr. Roarke
had a long talk with him.
Oh, good for Mr. Roarke.
She came.
I have my two bridesmaids
and now I have my maid of honor.
Hi.
Oh, I'm so glad you came.
-Me too. -Come on.
(ALL TALKING)
All right, everybody freeze!
This is a raid.
Lieutenant Fassbinder,
what are you doing here?
You're not going to mess
things up again for Brandy?
Yeah, she's getting married.
You're telling me!
Oh, darling, you look beautiful.
I'm sorry I'm a little late.
- It's all right.
- What's going on here?
A wedding, ladies.
After all these years,
I've finally convinced
Brandy to take on
a new business...
Matrimony.
You're going to
marry old Lead Head?
I sure am.
Well, he's retired, I'm retired,
and Lord knows we've
spent enough time together.
(LAUGHING)
COLLEEN: Cheers.
BEBE: Congratulations.
-I love you. -I love you.
♪ This is the moment
♪ I've waited for
♪ I can hear
♪ My heart singing
♪ Soon bells will be ringing
♪ This is the moment
♪ Of sweet aloha
♪ I will love you longer
♪ Than forever
♪ Promise me that you will
♪ Leave me never
♪ Here and now dear
Who gives this
woman in marriage?
I do.
We are gathered to unite
this man and this
woman in matrimony.
It is only fitting that
here on Fantasy Island,
where dreams so often come true,
a new and joyful reality
has replaced fantasy
for both of you.
The rings, please.
And now, with the
deepest sense of joy
and by the power vested in
me as magistrate of the island,
I pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Oh!
FASSBINDER: Here we
are. BRANDY: Totally unlikely.
- Come on, darling.
- Oh, thank you.
-Watch your step. -All right.
You're a married lady now.
- Oh, come on.
- (LAUGHING) Come on.
Oh, come on,
everybody. I don't know.
I feel a bit like
the Pied Piper.
Listen, the rest of
you go on to the plane.
You too, darling.
I want a word with Mr. Roarke.
Okay. Thank you very much.
- Bye-bye, bye-bye.
- Bye, Mr. Roarke.
I'll see you in a bit.
Well, Mr. Roarke, things
turned out all right, didn't they?
My coming here wasn't
such a bad idea after all.
How could anyone
possibly construe
your presence anywhere
as anything but a good idea?
Well, I appreciate the
sentiment, Lawrence.
But ten years ago
in my other life,
people would not have
thought of me so kindly.
Your other life, madam?
Do you mean he still
doesn't know about me?
-No. -That's right, Lawrence.
You see, in my other life
calling me "madam" was not
a term of respect, but rather
the title of my means of livelihood.
Thank you, Mr. Roarke
for helping me put all that
behind me once and for all.
-Good-bye. -Good-bye.
Her means of livelihood, sir?
Yes.
Madam.
Madame.
Madam?