01x08 - Play It Again, Vanessa

[bunniefuu]

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, cliff.

How was the charming and beautiful mrs. Huxtable's
day in court?

Ugh.

You'll get them
next time.

That's what you said
the last time.

In that case,
you blew it.

Hi, mom.

Vanessa, it is almost
dinner time.

Dad made me do it.

I said she could have a snack

After she practiced
the clarinet.

So did she?

Did you?

Did I what?

Practice the clarinet.

For the recital.

You didn't make me.

Will you tell your daughter
how important this is?

You planning on
leaving town right away?

Explain to this girl

She's got a featured solo
in five days.

The girl is standing
right there.

And don't let her
get out of it.

Vanessa, I want
you to practice.

I will

When I finish my homework.

How much do you have?

I have a history essay
on the hundred years' w*r.

How long will it take?

About fifteen minutes.

That's not bad.

That's seven years a minute.

That's if I want a "d."

What if you want an "a"?

About an hour, tops.

Go for the "a."

Hi, daddy.

How you doing,
peaches?

Are you mad at me?

Should I be?

This morning I got
a kiss and a hug.

Okay.

There. That better?

What am I supposed to do?

When mary lopez's father
kisses her, he says

"I love you, mary."

I love you, mary.

No, dad.

I love you, rudy.

But he says it in spanish.

Mr. Lopez is a troublemaker.

You know what?

What?

Mary can have a snack
any time she wants.

Oh, really?

Mom's in the kitchen.

Oops.

My sentiments exactly.

Well?

Vanessa promised
to practice.

When will we learn?

First it was denise's
ice skating lessons.

We buy skates, outfits...

She lasts two weeks.

And theodore's karate--
one day.

But we didn't go
for too much there--

A white bathrobe
and a couple pieces of wood.

How much did we go for
with the clarinet?

We agreed that when a child
shows an interest in something

It's our parental duty
to nurture it.

What did it run us?

It's not like we're
hard up for money.

What did it runus?

You won't believe this--

It's cheaper
than renting.

What did it run us?

$ .

$ ?!

That included the case.

It better include
a set of lips.

Ha ha!

You're now dead meat.

(ring)

Check.

(ring)

Let's go.

Time is money.

You don't even have a job.

What money?

Time is money.

Don't "time is money" me.

You don't have a job

Not planning on getting a job

And can't even spell "job."

Now, deal with that.

(ring)

Queen check.

I know a check
when I see one.

I'm the person
who taught you to play.

You remember?

You did a good job.

(ring)

Are you playing chess

Or are you calling
for the bellhop?

(clarinet sounding
like foghorn)

Have we moved
closer to the river?

(clarinet squeaking)

You think she's blowing
into the right end?

(squawking and squeaking)

I think she just
k*lled a goose.

She is awful!

(more squawking)

I think we ought to
soundproof her room.

And move.

(squawking)

That's it.

Half time, man.

Dad, there's no half time
in chess.

The band is playing,
so that's half time.

Oh, oh, please.

No, come here.

Here, here,
here!

Where did you
get this from?

Vanessa said
I could play with it.

This is not a toy.

This is a goose-k*ller.

Hi, daddy.

Vanessa

Do you know
how much that cost?

$ . - - .

Do you know what can be
purchased with $ ?

You can get brakes
for six chevys.

Dad, I do appreciate
you buying this for me.

Some time ago, young lady

You came to us and you said
you would do anything

If we would allow you
to take up the clarinet.

Now what happened?

I don't like it anymore.

Neither does janet meiser.

She quit two weeks ago.

So that means
you have to quit, too?

It's no fun without janet.

We're like the three musketeers,
except there's two of us.

Couldn't I switch
to gymnastics?

If it's the money

Janet's father
hocked her clarinet

And got $ .

$ ? I paid $ ...

You agreed to be
in that recital.

They are counting on you.

They won't even miss me.

You can quit later.

But you have a responsibility

To go through
with that recital.

You are going to do it.

I want you
to practice.

You understand?

I understand.

You do understand me?

Yes.

All right.

You okay?

I'm okay.

Do you need anything?

You sure?

Positive.

You don't want brighter lights
in the room?

How about a pot of coffee?

Don't forget,
you've got a responsibility.

Practice.

Right?

I'll do my best.

That's all I'm asking for.

It's a part of responsibility.

(squawk)

(scale)

He wouldn't let you out of it?

Did you get his
"responsibility" speech?

Yeah.

Long or short version?

The long version.

With the pot of coffee.

Uh-huh.

So what did you tell him?

That I'd do my best.

Was that your best?

Yeah.

And the recital's when?

In five days.

I'm in big trouble.

(squawking)

I'm not jogging with you.

Yes.

You know that deep down inside
you want to.

You know that you'll wake up

With an irresistible urge
to go jogging with your husband.

With all that?

Looks like you're going
on a space walk.

In order to go jogging
and do it properly

You must have
the necessary equipment.

Why can't you be satisfied
with a pleasant jog in the park?

Because serious joggers

Are not satisfied
with a pleasant jog in the park.

Jogging with you is not fun.

You want to talk about fun?

Want to talk about what is fun?

This is the way I jog.

See, I'm serious.

I have the pepper.

Do you understand?

This is the way I move it.

This is the way my wife jogs.

Must have at least
three of these

Tucked here.

And then she bursts out.

Oh, cliff...

Cliff...

You're moving too fast.

Now I don't know
what you can burn off there

Other than these tissues.

Cliff, I do not enjoy jogging
full speed

Carrying pounds
of unnecessary equipment

While you scream,
"move it, clair!"

"No pain,
no gain!"

We always end up arguing,
I walk home alone, and...

I hate
jogging with you.

(knocking)

Whoever's up this late
better have a good excuse.

I can't sleep.
Good enough?

What's the
matter, honey?

I don't think I can
be in this recital.

Why?

(raspy)
I have a sore throat.

Your recital's in four days.

It's one of those
slow-building sore throats.

Vanessa, it's after midnight.

What's wrong?

Mom, I'm worried.

About what?

You've heard me practicing.

I'm bad, aren't i?

You're doing pretty well.

You're only years old.

Nobody's asking you
to play like benny goodman.

Who?

You're going to be just fine.

I had the same doubts
when I went on my first date.

That's not the same.

You have to practicethis.

I'm telling you, my first date,
I had to practice.

When I was / years old,
my voice was changing

And I was embarrassed about it.

People would say,
"what is your name?"

(cracking) and I'd say, "my name
is heathcliff huxtable."

I didn't want
to sound like that.

I wanted to sound smooth,
so I practiced--

What's your name?

(cracking)
heathcliff huxtable.

(cracking less)
heathcliff huxtable.
Heathcliff huxtable.

And then I began to
practice my smiles.

I had three of them.

I had a full smile.

I had a three-quarter smile.

And then I had a quarter smile.

And I'd practice

All of those things, and then...

The night of my date.

I was nervous,
but I had practiced.

I rang the doorbell,
her father opened the door.

He said, "what do you want?"

(cracking)
I said, "my name is..."

And I ran away.

I ran for about a block,
and I stopped myself.

I said, "no, no,
you've practiced.

Go back there, give it to him."

I went back, rang the bell.
He said, "who are you?"

(not cracking) and I said, "my name
is heathcliff huxtable."

Now, do you understand that?

Yes.

All right.

You feel better?

No.

Good night.

Good night,
vanessa.

(fighter plane noises)

(expl*si*n sounds)

Check mate.

That's four

For the man
on the comeback trail.

You're a bad loser,
but you're a worse winner.

And now on my
drive for five

I am going to, my boy,
let you have the first move.

Wait a minute, hold on.

Something troubling you, son?

What?

Are you looking for rain?

What do you mean?

Well, forget it.

She's not playing
until mr. Hampton gets here.

When is that?

Soon.

Half time.

Why is
mr. Hampton coming?

Mr. Hampton is coming

To give your sister some
instructions on the clarinet.

He told me

He knew you
when you were little.

That's true.

He's an old friend.

He was the music teacher
when I was in school.

They had music
when you went to school?

Some.

Did they have potato chips?

Yes, we had potato chips.

Did they have tv?

No, they didn't have tv.

What did you watch
while you ate potato chips?

Radio.

(doorbell)

Hi, mr. Hampton.

Hi, doc.

Hi, mr. Hampton.

Hi, rudy.
Long time no see.

Do it, do it.

Do what?

You know--

You always ask me
to do that.

Daddy, daddy, look!

His face is going to explode!

Oh, no, no, not old rubber face.

Can he
stay for dinner?

Uh-huh.

I want to watch him
put a chicken in his mouth.

If you're nice,
I'll do something for you.

(rubber band music)

♪ Love

♪ You

♪ Rudy.

♪ Love

♪ You

♪ Rudy.

I love you, too, mr. Hampton.

Vanessa!

Yes, dad.

Come on down, please.

Mr. Hampton,
what are you doing here?

Got us a little
insurance policy
on the recital.

He's going to
take my place?

No, he's going to
give you private lessons.

Come on, let's
get started.

Thank you, daddy.

It won't help.

(bassoon playing)

Bravo!
Bravo!

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

That was bobby tucker
on the bassoon

Giving you his rendition of
"the flight of the bumblebee."

It was more like
"the wounded moth."

In just a moment we will hear
from our beginner's class.

That's me.

Good luck.

Better be good.

I gave up hanging out
with my friends to see this.

Hey, where
are you going?

My kid already played.

The bumblebee?

No, sit down.
My kid's going on.

I'm paying $ an hour
for parking.

$ ? I paid $ .

Come on, watch my kid.

Ladies and
gentlemen

Our beginner's class

With their medley
of popular songs

With a solo by
miss vanessa huxtable.

(cheering)

(terrible clarinet playing)

I want to
go home.

(band playing out of tune)

Encore!
Encore!

Encore!

En...