01x11 - Knight to Night

[bunniefuu]

Rudy, Come On!

You'll Make Us Late.

Bye, Rudy.
I'll Miss You.

Should I Go To
The Office With You?

You Go To School.
I'll Go To The Office.

You're Sure You'll Be Okay?

I'll Make It.

You Know, I Worry
About You Sometimes.

Bye, Baby.

I'll See You
Later This Afternoon.

Rudy!

Rudy!

Rudy, Your Lunch!

Rudy!

Somebody Must Have
Run Outside Naked.

(Door Rattling)

Clair, You Forgot
Your Briefcase!

I Know People
Who Forgot Their Briefcases

And Still Lived Normal Lives.

Does This Make Sense?

A Woman Graduates
From Law School

So She Can Run Two Blocks
To Chase A Child

Who Says She Doesn't
Like Her Sandwich.

What Kind
Did You Make?

Rudy Made The Sandwich.

She Said Tuna And Peanut Butter
Sounded Great

But It Didn't Look Good
Between The Bread.

I Agree With Her.

I Love My Work,
And I'm Doing Great.

But Then I Come Home
And Have To Help People

Who Put Their
Clothes On Backwards.

Or They Want A Car.

They Don't Know
How To Drive.

OrThey Want To
Watch Television

Until Their Eyeballs Pop Out
And Roll Under The Couch.

Then It's The Kids.

I Wanted To Have Kids.

That's Important To Us.

But I Go To Work

And Sit At That Desk For Weeks
Preparing A Brief

And Mr. Greenbrook Senior
Comes In To Tell Me

"The Case Has Been
Settled Out Of Court."

I Want
To Scream.

So It's Work.

I Love My Work.

I Just Told You.

I'm Sorry.

But Then I
Come Home Again...

People Are Crying.

They Need A Button Sewn On.

Somebody's Drinking Bubble Bath.

Then It Is The Kids!

It's The Kids And Work.

Then It's Me!

Then What Is It?

I Don't Have Time To
Figure Out What It Is.

I'm Late For Work.

Oh! Then I Can Help.

Listen To Me.

Stop, Stop,
Stop, Stop!

Listen To Me, Okay?

Just Listen To Me.

Just Take It Easy.

Tonight You And I
Go To Dinner--

Out To Dinner,
Just The Two Of Us.

I'd Like That.

Good. Now Here,
Here, Here, Here.

Think About
This One Here.

We'll Go To
The Biltmore Hotel

Because I Know
The Manager There.

I Delivered His Baby,
And He Owes Me

Because The Baby Doesn't
Look Like Him Or His Wife.

I'm Serious.

Okay, Dinner
At The Biltmore.

Wait, Whoa!

Now Listen.
Hear Me Now.

We Rent A Limousine...

Take Us Down To The Biltmore
For The Dinner

And Take A Nice Limo Drive
On The River

With The Moon Bouncing
Off The Water.

You Can See The Lights
Of The Buildings

And The Boats.

The Boats?

The Boats, Please.

Oh, That's Beautiful!

All Right?

Yeah.

Thanks, Cliff.

I'll See You Later.

Oh! Wait A Minute!

I Got One More,
And This Is It.

We'll Stay
At The Biltmore.

Spend The Night?

Spend The Night.

Without
The Children?

If We Take The Children,
Why Are We Going?

Tonight We Are Not
Taking The Children

Because Tonight Is
You-Are-Not-A-Mother Night.

That's A Wonderful Idea.

All Right. Good.

You Like That?

I Like That.

Okay.
You're Relaxed Now?

I'm Relaxed.

You Feel Better?

I Feel Better.

You're Smoothed Out?

I'm Smoothed Out.

You're Late.

Oh!

You Have Been Pregnant
Three Months.

Yes.

The Baby Doesn't
Even Have A Face Yet.

Mrs.
Jennings

You Say To Me
It Speaks English

And Knows Exactly Where
The Hamburger Place Is.

Doctor, I Don't
Want A Hamburger.

Yes, You Do.

No, I Can't!
I Shouldn't!

It's Okay.

It Is?

Sure.

As Long As You Have
A Sensible, Balanced Diet

Have A Hamburger.

It Won't
Hurt You.

I Have Some
Chocolate Marshmallow Cookies

That Are Out Of This World.

Would You Like One?

No. I Don't Want
To Deprive The Baby.

Thank You.

(Buzz)

Just A Second.

Hello?

Yes.

I Just Have To Make
Some Plans For Tonight.

Hello, Mr. Brenner.

I Want To Treat My Wife To A
Wonderful Night In Your Hotel.

No, I'll Pay For It Myself.

I'm Not Coming
Unless I Pay The Bill.

I Just Want To Be Sure

Everything Is Taken Care Of
First-Class, All Right?

Thank You, Sir.

And Good Night To You.
Bye-Bye.

I'm Going To Have To Get
A Second Job.

That's A Wonderful Thing
You're Doing.

Thank You.

How Long Have You Been Married?

Years.

How Many Kids?

Four At Home And One In College.

Five Children, Years.

What Are You Celebrating?

Survival.

Vanessa, What Do You Think?

I'm Wearing This To
The Dance Tonight.

Nice.

Is It A Costume Party?

Who Asked You?

Fine. Look Like That.

Okay, Everybody,
I Want To See You...

Denise, Go Sit Down.

My Nails Are Wet.

Well, Don't Touch The Couch.

Hello There.

Where's Vanessa?

Upstairs.

Will You Get Her?

Okay.

Thank You.

A Hey, Let Her Go.

Turn The Tv Off.

I'll Turn The Sound Down.

Turn Off The Tv.

Completely?

Later On, Pull It Out.

It Comes Back On.

Tv Is Wonderful.

Yes, Daddy?

Oh. Where's Rudy?

Upstairs. I'll...

Don't Get Her!

I'll Deal With
What I Have Here.

Come Sit Over Here.

What's Going On?

Your Mother And
I Are Going Out.

Have Fun.

No, No!

Please, Please,
Thank You Very Much.

We Will Be Out Late.

How Late?

Till Tomorrow.

Have Fun.

No, No!
Listen. There's More!

Denise, You'll
Have To Baby-Sit.

That's Not Fair-- Cancelling
My Plans Without Warning.

And Look Who You Leave
In Charge-- The Dragon Lady.

Clair:
Cliff,
I'm Ready.

Here Comes Mom.

Everybody Line Up.

This Must
Be Serious.

He's Making Us Line Up.

What Do You Think?

Doesn't Mom Look Clean?

Say Good-Bye
To Your Mother.

Good-Bye.

Bye, Mommy.

Mrs. Davis Will Spend
The Night With You.

I'll Leave You
The Hotel's Number.

Please,
Before You Use It, Think!

And Then After You Make
Your Decision

If It's Necessary, Think Again.

All Right.

Can We Send Out For Dinner,
Or Do I Have To Make It?

Don't
Answer That.

Can I Do My
Homework Later?

Pay No
Attention
To Them.

What About My Science Project?

Do You Want Me To Do It
All By Myself?

You Are Not
A Mother Tonight.

Good-Bye, Baby.

Take Me With You.

I'll Be Good.

Pay No Attention
To This Child.

There. Grab On
To Your Sister.

I Hereby Declare That
You-Are-Not-A-Mother Night

Is Now Beginning,
And Let The Fun Start.

You're Starting A Little
Early, Aren't You?

Who Is She Dancing With?

I Thought They Broke Up.

She Did?

He Let Her?

Bye.

Where Are You Going?

I'm History.

If You Leave

I'm Telling Daddy You Cut
Pictures From His Medical Books

And Sold Them.

I've Got Stuff On You, Too.

Like What?

You Worried?

Good.

Taste This.

I'm Fine.

Come On, Taste This.

Cliff, That's Pigeon.

Well, Listen,
That Is Cow.

Now, Taste This.

All I Can Think Of

Are The Pigeons
Outside My Office.

Those Are
The Rejects.

This Once Had A Head On It,
Long Eyelashes

And Said, "Moo."

Now, Come On,
Just Take A Little Bite.

Please.

How About It?

It's Not Bad.

Want Another Bite?

You Want
Another Bite.

I Do Not.

You Are Dying
For Another Bite.

I Do Not Want Another Bite.

Okay.

May I Have
Some Of Your Steak?

You Don't Like Yours?

This Is Pigeon.

I Don't Know Why
You Went Through All That.

If You Want Some Steak,
Just Ask For It.

Clair...

What Are You Doing,
Dear?

I Just Had The Urge
To Cut Somebody's Meat.

I Know The Feeling.

We're Fortunate
To Have The Children, Cliff.

Otherwise, We'd Never Know
The Joy Of Leaving Them At Home.

Let's Not Go Back.

You Mean Tomorrow?

I Mean Forever.

I'm Serious.

Let Them Have The House

And We'll Stay Here

And Maybe We'll Call Them
When We Get Old.

I Had Another Urge.

You Want To Take Somebody
To The Bathroom?

I Haven't Told Anybody
To Shut Up Recently.

Tell Me.

I Don't Want To.

Just Say, "Shut Up, Cliff."

I'm Not Telling You That.

If It Will Make You Feel Better,
Let It Out--

"Shut Up!"

You Are Crazy.

I'm Not
Kidding.

Which Child Could I Be?

I Know.

"Mother, This Is My Life.
You're So Old-Fashioned."

Shut Up!

Felt Good,
Didn't It?

I'll Think Of
Another One.

"Mom, Rudy's Bothering Me,
And I Haven't..."

Shut Up, Shut Up!

Shut Up, Shut Up,
Shut Up!

(Ring)

(Ring)

Dr. Huxtable's Residence.

Yes. I See.

How Far Apart Are They?

An Hour?

It Could Be A Lot Of Things,
Mrs. Collins.

I Wouldn't Diagnose It
As Labor Pains.

Did You Eat Anything Unusual?

No, This Isn't The Doctor.
This Is His Son, Theo.

He's Gone For The Evening.

Dr. Daily Is Covering For Him.
I'll Give You The Number.

I Hear He's Good.

No, But He Came Over Once,
And He Looked Pretty Smart.

- .

No, I'm Not Going Into Medicine.
Dad Won't Let Me.

Bye.

Cliff, Would..?

Cliff?

Cliff?

How Far Apart Are They?

How Could You Do That?

Do What?

You Were Sleeping.

Correction-- Napping.

Sleeping Is Under The Covers

And You Don't Come Out
Till Morning.

Napping Is On Top Of The Covers,
Which Is Over Now.

Your Idea Of A Fun Evening
Is Taking A Nap?

My Idea Of A Fun Evening
Is To Put My Pajamas On

Get Into Bed

And Wait Six Hours For You
To Come Out Of The Bathroom.

That Bathroom
Is Very Nice.

There's Even
A Phone.

You Can Call All The Other
Bathrooms In The Hotel.

Is That
What You Did?

I Didn't Think
You'd Mind The Wait

Once You Saw
The Finished Product.

You're Right.

Let's Get It On.

Cliff, Did You
Have To Say That?

Say What?

"Let's Get It On."

It Sounded Good
To Me.

That's Not
A Very Romantic Line.

I Didn't Know
This Was A Script.

I Thought We Were
Supposed To Make It Up.

Try Something Like

"You Look Beautiful
This Evening."

Sure.

Why Not Try That?

But It's Very
Romantic.

It's Romantic
If I Say It

But It Isn't Romantic
If You Tell Me To Say It.

I Was Trying To Help.

Well...
But I Don't Need Your Help.

So What Do I Do?

Let Me Say What I Want To Say.

If I Let You Say It,
You're Going To Say

"Let's Get It On."

No, No, No, No.

"Let's Get It On"
Is Retired.

That's Finished.

Okay?

Okay.

All Right.

Do You Like That?

Mm-Hmm.

I Made That Up.

How Does That Feel?

That's Pretty Nice.

I Made That Up, Too.

I'm Making Up More
As I Go Along.

That's Nice, Too.

Now,
Pay Close Attention.

W-O-O-O-W!

More! More!

No, No, No!

Wait! Wait!

You Can't Rush Me!

You Know Something?

I Love You
Very, Very Much.

It's A Privilege

To Wake Up In The Morning
And See Your Face.

You Are My Life...

And I Mean That.

Oh, Cliff.

Let's Get It On.

I Am The One
Who's Supposed
To Say That.

Yes, Dear

But You Said It
Too Soon.

So It's Timing,
Right?

Right.

Timing.

All Right.

Oh...

(Phone Ringing)

Hello?

This Better
Be Necessary.

It's For You.

Hello.

Huxtable Kids:
Good Night, Mom!

And Don't Come Home
With Another Baby!

You Realize That
Once You Step Inside

It's All Over.

I'm Ready.

You're Loose?

I'm Loose.

Want To Jog Around?

Come On, Cliff.

All Right.

Mom, I'm Glad You're Home.

Oh, Rudy!

Watch It.
It May Be A Trap.

(Glass Breaking)

Vanessa:
That Was My Mug!

Theo:
You Shouldn't HaveLeft It There.

Vanessa:
Clean It Up!

Theo:
It Was Your Mug.

It's Been Like This
All Morning.

I'm Calling Mom.

You Better Not!

Mom, Theo Broke...

I Did Not!

You Did So!

Hold It!

Your Mother And I

Are Coming Back From
A Lovely Night Out.

We Walk In, And
What Do We See?

The Attack Of
The Ant People.

Sit Down.

Now...

I Want All Of You
To Just Relax.

You're Making Your Mother's Face
Do Like This.

If She Continues
To Look Like This

You're Going To Grow Older,
Get Married

And She'll Show Up
At Your Wedding

Looking Like This.

Do You Want Your Mother
To Look Like This Forever?

No.
No.

Then Go Into The Kitchen
And Clean It Up Together.

Me, Too?

Watch And Learn.

Clair, I'm Sorry.

You Probably Want
One More Day, Don't You?

No, Last Night
Was Just Enough.

You Could Use A Weekend.

No, Really.

Last Night
Was Perfect--

With The Food, The Wine,
The Passion.

You're The One Who Wants
The Whole Weekend.

I Could Have Used A Month.