02x16 - The Dentist

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "The Cosby Show". Aired: September 20, 1984 – April 30, 1992.*
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Series follows the Huxtable family, an African-American upper middle class family, living in a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights, New York.
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02x16 - The Dentist

Post by bunniefuu »

Hi I'm Rudy.

Tonight's Show Staring
Mr. Danny Kaye


It's For All Us Kids

But You Grown Ups
Should Watch Too.


I Don't Believe It.

Cliff.

What's Happening?

Read This.

Read This Article.

Right.

Read This.

Why Do You Want Me
To Read It?

You Have To Read This.

Is It About Me?

Please, Just Read It.

"Water Meters To Be Installed
In City Dwellings."

Read On.

"In An Attempt To Conserve
The City's Water Resources

"The Mayor Has Proposed
The Installation Of Meters

"To Monitor Water Usage.

The Proposed... "

We Don't Need
A Meter.

We Teach Our Children
To Conserve Water.

That's Right.

We Tell Them Not To
Leave The Water Running

While They Brush
Their Teeth.

Don't We Tell Them Not To
Take Hour-Long Showers?

There You Go.

You Know What
The Problem Is?

Our Children Don't
Listen To Us.

No.

The City Is Letting Developers
Put Up High-Rises

Like The One Going Up
On The Corner.

That High-Rise Will Bring

A Thousand More People
Into This Neighborhood

And They'll Be Using Our Water.

Water...

Cliff?

I Want You To Listen To This.

The Meters
Will Cost

$ Apiece

That's Terrible.

We're Going To Write
The City A Letter.

Hmm?

We're Writing
The City.

We Are?

Yes.

Go Ahead.

Okay.

What Am I Supposed
To Say?

What?

What Is It, Dear?

What Should I Say?

To Who?

To The City.

At This Hour?

About The Water Meters.

The City's Closed.

Oh, Look At This.

Did You Read This?

What?

It Says:

"Man Dies Because
Wife Will Not Let Him Sleep."

Hey, Rudy.

Denise.

What?

Want To See Some Magic?

A Magic Trick?

Yeah, It's A Good One.

Okay, Let's See It.

I Hold In My Hand
A Rubber Ball.

Yeah.

Watch This Ball Closely.

Okay.

Guess Which Hand
Has The Rubber Ball.

Um...

That One.

Wait A Second.

Now Guess.

Oh, Gosh.

I Changed My Mind.

That One.

Wait A Second.

What Are
You Doing?

Nothing.

Now Guess.

That One.

Nope.

That One?

Right.

Let's See.

Turn Around.

Why?

Just Turn Around.

Okay.

You Can
Look Now.

Ta-Dum!

How Did You Do That?

It's Magic.

It's Amazing.

I'll Get That.

Hey, Peter.
You Here To See Rudy?

Come In.

Hi, Peter.
Want To See A Trick?

Want To Play?

No, I Need To Hide.

What's The Matter?

I Don't Want To
See The Dentist.

Come On.

Now They've Gotten Ridiculous.

Who?

The City's Allowing
The High-Rise On The Corner

To Add More Floors.

Good.

Good?

You Don't Understand
What This Means.

The City's Making Us
Put In A Water Meter.

There Will Be
Fewer Parking Spaces.

The Schools Will
Be More Crowded.

And They'll Use
Our Water.


It's Terrible.

Well, Your Son
Thinks It's Good.

Mom's Not Seeing
The Other Side.

It's A Beautiful
Building.

It Will Provide Jobs

And Increase Real Estate
Values In This Area.

Theo, I'm Impressed.

You Have Thought About This,
Haven't You?

He Has Ever Since The Day
Cockroach Told Him

Stewardesses
Are Moving Into The Building.

Hey.

Denise, They're Adding
Floors To The High-Rise.

What High-Rise?

The One On The Corner.

They're Building A High-Rise?

You Know, This Is The Sorriest
Bunch Of Children

I Have Ever Seen.

Huxtable Residence.

Yes, Hello, Mr. Chiara.

Just A Minute.

Is Peter Here?

Yeah, He Just Came In.

Yes, He's Here.

He Did What?

Okay.

We'll Hold Him Here For You.

All Right. Good Enough.

Peter Has An Appointment
With Dr. Burns

And He's Scared.

Dr. Burns Is A Great Dentist.

We Know That,
But Peter Doesn't.

Yes, But Peter
Does Have A Reputation

For Fleeing From
High-Pressure Situations.

I Hold In My Hand
A Rubber Ball.

Watch This
Ball Closely.

Guess Which Hand
Has The Ball.

Wait A Second.

Who Is It?

Dad.

Hide.

Quick, Hide.

Come In.

What Took So Long

For You To Say "Come In"
To Your Father?

You Know...

I Ran All The Way
Upstairs To See You

And I'm So Tired

I Now Have To Sit
Down On This Bed

Up Here By The Pillows.

So, I'm Just Going...

As A Matter Of Fact,
I Changed My Mind.

I Think I'll Sit Down Here
At The End Of The Bed.

As A Matter Of Fact

I Think I'll Sit
On The Middle Of The Bed

And Just...

Peter!

Hi, Peter.

How's Everything
Going?

Peter Doesn't Want
To Go To The Dentist.

Oh, Peter.

It's No Problem
Going To The Dentist.

Why Don't You
Want To Go?

Okay.

But I Tell You

Dr. Burns Is Great,
Isn't He?

Dr. Burns Is Nice, Peter.

Yeah.

Sometimes When I Come
From Dr. Burns'

I Can Talk Funny.

Sometimes
My Lip

Is A Little Tingly

And People Say,
"How Are You Doing?"

And I Say:

"I'm Okay."

Yeah.

Sometimes When My Wife
Is Talking To Me

She Says,
"Well, How Are You Feeling?"

I Say:

"I'm Okay."

She Said,
"Did The Dentist Hurt?"

And I Say:

"Oh, No, The Dentist
Didn't Hurt Me At All."


"And It Was All Righty."

All Righty?

You Know What I'm Saying?

So You Could Talk Funny.

O- B-Kay-B?

O- B-Kay-B.

O- B-Kay-B.

O- B-Kay-B?

O- B-Kay-B.

O- B-Kay-B?

O- B-Kay-B.

O- B-Kay-B.

All Right, Then.

Let's Go See
Dr. Burns!

Now, Peter, I Would Never Go
To Anybody But Dr. Burns.

Don't Worry.
He's A Great Dentist.

Right, Rudy?

Right.

I've Been Going
Since I Was Your Age.

Me, Too.

I'll Get It.

That Must Be
Peter's Father.

Mr. Chiara,
How Are You, Sir?

Hi.

We Got Him
For You.

Bye, Peter.

Good Luck At The Dentist.

Come On, Pete.

Everything
Will Be All Right, Kid.

Bye-Bye.

Will You Feel Better
If I Come?

Can I, Daddy?

It's Up To Mr. Chiara.

Okay.

You've Got A Buddy
To Go With You Now.

We're Brave Together.

Having Fun.

Look Out, Dr. Burns!

Take Him To The Eye Doctor
While You're At It.

Isn't This Nice?

I'll Go Tell Them
We're Here.

Hello?

Ah, Who Said, "Hello?"

Me.

Oh, Hello!
I Know You.

You're Rudy Huxtable.

Right.

How Are You?

Fine.

That's Nice.

Do You Have
An Appointment?

No, I'm Here
With My Friend-

Peter.

Which One Is Peter?

The Little One
Or The Big One?

The Little One.

The Little One.

You Know Something?

He Looks Scared.

He Always Looks Like That.

I'll Be Out
In One Second.

Peter, I Think You're Going To Like Him.

He's Been A Dentist
For A Long Time.

Here We Are.

That Wasn't So Bad,
Was It, James?

Yes.

Shhh!

I Have Other Patients Here

For Heaven's Sake.

Now You Can Pick
Out A Toy, Okay?

No, Not All
Of Them.

If You Come In For
A Whole Set Of Teeth

You Can Have
Them All.

Now, You Only
Have One.

That's A
Nice One.

Thank You,
Doctor Burns.

You're Very
Welcome.

Well, Take
Him Home

And Wash His Mouth
Out With Soap.

It's Been A Long Day

So I Think I'll
Get Ready To Go.

You Can't Go.

Why Not?

You're The Dentist.

Oh, For Heaven's Sake,
You're Right.

I Am The Dentist.

Well, I Better Behave
Like One, Huh?

So, You Are
Peter, Yes?

And You're His Father?

I Can See
Why You Are Related.

Peter, If You
Have Any Problem

With Your
Teeth

You Come And
See Me, Yes?

He Does.

He Does
What?

Have A Problem
With His Teeth.

Who?

Peter.

Is That True, Peter?

He Was Up All Night...

I Didn't Ask You.

I'm Talking To Peter.

Would You Like
To Come Inside With Me?

I'll Go
With You.

Is That All Right With You?

Is That All Right With You?

Don't Go Away.

We'll Be Out
In Two Or Three Days.

Come
With Me.

Here We Go.

We Come Inside

And Peter, Just Hop
Into The Chair.

I'll Be With You
In A Minute.

Hop, Hop, Hop Into The Chair.

Peter, Hop, Jump, Climb
Into The Chair.

Peter...
Jump In The Chair, Peter.

He Won't Do It.

What Should We Do?

We Could Push Him.

Why Don't We Take Him
On A Tour?

Come Here, Meet Me.

And Then We Start
With The Left Foot.

Here We Go
Through The Office.

And The First Thing
We Show You Here

Is My Diploma.

This Is My Diploma
When I Graduated

From Dental School
In .

Show Him The Teeth.

No, Those Teeth.

Which Ones?
The Ones On The Shelf?

These Go On The Shelf
Sometimes, Too, You Know?

Here We Are.

Sit Down.

Share That Place.

And We Have The Teeth.

Aren't These Nice?

All Right.

Tell Him
The Story.

Oh, All Right.

Now, A Long Time Ago

These Teeth
Walked Into My Office.

They Didn't Have
An Appointment-

They Didn't Have Anything.

And I Said,
"Do I Know You?"

And They Said

"No, But You've Taken Out
Some Of Our Friends."

And I Said,
"What Would You Like?"

And They Said

"We Would Like
To Come To Work For You."

I Said,
"Do You Know How To Type?"

They Said, "No."

I Said,
"How Will You Work For Me?"

They Said,
"We Will Sit On The Shelf

"So People Can See

"What Good, Healthy,
Strong Teeth

Are Supposed To Look Like."

You See?

Now That Was A Long Time Ago-

Twenty, Forty, Sixty...

Almost Four Years Ago.

And They Have Never Missed
A Day's Work...

Which Is More Than I Can Say
For My Receptionist.

All Right, I'll
Put These Back.

And We'll Go On
From Here.

Now, I Have One More
Thing To Show You, Peter.

Because We Have Here
An Experimental Tooth Shuttle.

And We Have An Instrument
Which Makes It Go Whooo, Up


And We Have Another Instrument
Which Makes It Go Down.

But We Need An Astronaut.

Be An Astronaut.

Five, Four, Three...

They're Waiting For You
On The Moon, Peter.

...Three, Two,
One... Oh!

Yay, Peter!

Bravo, That's Marvelous.

Peter, If You'll
Open Your Mouth

I'll See
What's Going On.

Just A Little Wider.

It's Not Hard.
Like This- Look.

Oh, I Have
An Idea.

Do You Want
To Hear A Song?

* Old Mcdonald Had A Farm *

* Ee-I-Ee-I-Oh! *

See?
It's Easy.

Do You Want
To Sing Along?

* Old Mcdonald Had A Farm *

* Ee-I-Ee-I... *

*... Oh! *

How About Rudy Sitting Here
And I'll Examine Her?

No Way!

Could I See You In
My Office Over Here?

I Think Peter Is Afraid
To Open His Mouth.

I Think If You Sit
In The Chair And Show Him

You're Brave Enough
To Open Your Mouth

Maybe He'll
Open His.

Understand?

Yes.

You Won't Do It?

No.

I'm In This Alone?

Yes.

Don't Cry.

I'll Be Okay In A Minute.

My Whole Life

I Have Been Working
With Children

And My Reputation
Now Will Be Spoiled!

Okay, I'll Open My Mouth.

Ohhh!

You See, It Works Every Time.

I'll Wash My Hands
And We'll Get Ready.

What Are You Making?

Scrambled Eggs.

For Dinner?

I Invited Peter
To Eat With Us.

His Mouth Is Still
A Little Sensitive.

I'll Make Myself A Steak.

Peter Will Feel Badly

If You're Eating Steak
And He's Eating Scrambled Eggs.

I'll Cover The Steak
With The Eggs.

Dad, There's A Woman
Who Has To See You.

About What?

I Don't Know,
But She's Pregnant.

Looking For Someone?

There's No Woman In Here.

No, Only Me.

And You're Not Pregnant.

Not Now, No.

Hello, Dr. Burns.

Hello, Claire.

I'm Glad To See You.

Rudy Left This
In My Office

And I Thought I Would
Drop It By On The Way Home.

You Had
A Tough Patient Today.

I've Had Tougher.

I...

Which Reminds Me

I Haven't Seen You
In My Office Lately.

I Was Just In To See You.

No, No, No, No.

My Records Show
That It's Been Eight Months.

You Have Me Confused
With My Son.

Your Son Was In Last Week.

So How About Monday
You Come To See Me?

No, No...
Monday's No Good For Me.

Tuesday?

Tuesday's Tighter Than Monday.

Aha.

How Loose Is Wednesday?

I Don't Think So.
Wednesday's No Good.

Would You Consider Feezelday?

Feezelday We Take The Children
To See The Feezels.

Ja.

You Have Thursday Afternoon Off.

There You Are.

I Will See You At : ,
Thursday Afternoon.

I'll See You To The Door.

All Right.

Thursday Afternoon
I Will See You At : .

Oh, Doctor.

Yes?

Will You Show Me The Teeth?

Yes.

Will You Put Me On
The Tooth Shuttle?

You're Getting
A Little Big For That

But... Yes.

By The Way, Cliff.

Yes, Sir?

When You're
Finished...

Just One Toy?

But I Let You
Kiss My Wife.

Two Toys?

Cliff?

Cliff?

Hmm?

Where's The Paper?

Paper?

Yes, Today's Newspaper.

Today's Paper?

Ah, No, I Haven't Seen It, Dear.

I Saw You With It At Dinner.

What Dinner?

Tonight.

You're Hiding It From Me.

Why Would I Do That?

So I Won't
Read In Bed.

- Hand It Over.
- Oh, Stop It.

I'm Going
To Find It.

Go Ahead.

Ha, Ha, Ha.

Not There.

Now Stop It.

I Don't Know Where
The Paper's Gone.

It's Under The Pillows.

No.

Move Your Head.

Hiding The Paper
From Your Wife!

That Is
So Childish.


I Do That Because
You Get In The Bed

You Read Something

And You Get Excited
And Angry About It.

Promise Me

You Won't Get Angry
About Anything.

I Promise You.

And If I Do

I'll Keep My
Mouth Shut.

Good!

All Right.
That's Wonderful.

You Just
Get In There.

Kiss.

Good Night.

Good Night, Dear.

You're Not Going
To Get Upset?

No, I'm Not.

Okay.

You'll See.
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