01x09 - Mozzarella Heads

[bunniefuu]

[hip-hop music plays]

Girls, I need you to do me a favor

and take Marky to a birthday party.

Oh, come on, Mom.

I don't want to take
my kid brother to a kid party.

Yeah, all his friends smell
like microwave macaroni.

It's at Mozzarella Heads.

-[both] Yes!
-I love that place!

Pizza and video games!

Joysticks and cheese sticks!

Confetti and spaghetti!

Oh, hey, we can play…

[both] Zombie Gut Splash!

Sounds like a real self-esteem builder.

I need help.

We know.

What do you need help with today, Jeremy?

I signed up for band,

but I don't know
how to play an instrument.

Why would you do that?

They go on the coolest field trips!

Last year, they went to Toledo.

Ooh! Exciting!

You do music, right, Sadie's mom?

I do, Sadie's friend.

Could you help me?

Depends on how much you're paying.

-Mom.
-Or I could do it for free.

Thank you.

Come back this afternoon.

Bow-chicka-bow-bow-bow!

Good luck, Ms. A.,

'cause he can't even play the air trumpet.

♪ ♪

I see games and smell deep-fried cheese.

This is my happy place. Ahh.

I'm about to eat ten dollars' worth
of pizza and not spend a dime.

This is my happy place.

I'm Maggie the Clown!

Welcome to Mozzarella Heads,

where our pizza has pizzazz!

Wow, Maggie, you are rocking
some serious clown drip.

I got to get with your stylist.

Oh, excuse me?

My brother is here for Sergio's party.

Oh, walk this way, sir. Whoo-hoo!

[babbling]

I know there's no money in this, but…

whoo-hoo!

[babbling]

Aw, man, somebody's already
playing Zombie Gut Splash.

We got next!

Well, good things come to those who wait.

Ah, that's just something they tell people

who are having a lousy day.

[sighs] I can't wait
to punch some zombies.

Well, there's a home version of the game,
but it costs a lot of money.

I wish we had that.

Then we could splash guts
in virtual reality

from the comfort of our own home.

I'll be like, "Boom! Pow!"

[Maggie] Oof!

Oh! That felt real real!

You clobbered a clown!

My head got turned around.

Better.

Uh-oh!

You need to sit for a minute.

Size shoes don't sit.

I have a birthday party to work.

Well, okay.

Is there someone that can take your place,

like a backup clown?

Yeah.

I'm looking at four clowns right now.

Sorry. Two clowns.

You want us to be clowns?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

I don't want to be a clown!

I didn't want to be punched
out of my polka dots today.

So guess what. You owe me!

You don't understand.

I get self-conscious performing.

I don't like people looking at me.

Pfft, they're not gonna be looking at you.

They're gonna be looking at these!

Oh.

My real nose is way cuter than this!

[nose honks]

Why didn't you lead with that?

My real nose does not do that.

[nose honking]

♪ I'm Sadie's affirmation app ♪

♪ And so no matter what happens
I got her back ♪

♪ 'Cause, see, my homey Sadie
Wished on a star ♪

♪ She said, "I wish you were real" ♪

♪ Now I'm as real as you are ♪

♪ And now who's coming out the app? ♪

♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

♪ Whose avatar power is to freeze? ♪

-♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪
-♪ All day, all day ♪

♪ It's your girl ♪

♪ That girl, that girl, that girl ♪

♪ That girl Lay Lay ♪

♪ ♪

Ready for your music lesson, Jeremy?

Ooh, a baby guitar?

Huh! Sweet!

It's a violin.

And it's so small,
you can groove while you fiddle.

Mm. Sounds easy enough. [chuckles]

A-one, a-two, a-fiddly-diddly-doo.

[strumming]

Fiddly-diddly-don't.

Try it. Put your hand right here.

Turn up like that, under the chin.

Like that.

[playing discordantly]

-No, not like that.
-Oh, I got it!

Well, that's a little better, but…

let me help you just a little, Jeremy.

Okay.

Jeremy, I just want to help you--

Hey. I got it.

Guess I'll have to wait till next year
to see the great city of Toledo.

Oh, no, we are not quitting.

Trish "Never Quit" Alexander doesn't quit.

I thought your nickname
was Trish "Home Run" Alexander.

I got a lot of nicknames, Jeremy.

That's why they call me
Trish "Lots of Nicknames" Alexander.

Oh.

-♪ Jump ♪
-♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Jump, jump ♪

-♪ Whoo ♪
-♪ Jump, jump ♪

All right, kids,

please welcome our special guest clowns.

I don't want to see no clown show.

I got ten dollars' worth of pizza to eat.

Here they are, Laughy and Sappy!

-Hey, everybody!
-[meekly] Hi.

On second thought,
I just got my money's worth.

Hiya, kids. I'm Laughy!

And I'm Sappy.

Who's ready to have some fun?

Oh!

Sorry, Lay Lay, that was an accident.

Huh! Who's Lay Lay? I'm Laughy!

Hit them with something from the trunk.

My pleasure.

While Laughy grabs something fun

from the fun trunk,

I'll… honk my nose, huh?

[nose honking]

[laughter]

Up next, I'll be making a balloon animal

for the birthday boy, Sergio!

Whoa! She's really good at that!

Whoa, I'm really good at that!

Here you go, Sergio.

Hey, Laughy! I found… a dance machine!

Ah, crank it up, girl!

-[dance music playing]
-♪ Come on ♪

♪ ♪

I may be a clown,
but I make this look good!

♪ ♪

[cheers and applause]

Okay, kids, who wants tokens
for the arcade?

Laughy and Sappy, you're a hit!

I'd like to hire you for more clown gigs.

I smell business happening.

Marky Alexander, clown agent.

Oh, excuse us.

Marky, what are you doing?

This clown racket could be
some serious do-re-mi for us all.

Enough money to buy the home version
of Zombie Gut Splash?

I'd park the cash in government bonds,

but you do you.

I do like the idea of making some money.

Me too, and I guess we'd rather

have him working for us than against us.

All right, you're hired.

You made an excellent choice.

Maggie, my clients are in.

Go have yourself some pizza.
You've earned it.

Are you kidding me?
I don't eat that stuff.

I know how it's made.

[hip-hop music plays]

We did two parties today.

It wasn't as bad as I thought.

Oh, but I think I've got
a permanent clown nose dent.

It's your own fault, Sadie.

You're an over-honker.

I am the man!

Oh, boy. Here we go.

I've got you booked
for three parties tomorrow.

And you know what that means.

Yeah. Triple the clown wig sweat.

Yes. And triple the money.

Then we could buy Zombie Gut Splash,

Vampire Gut Splash, Werewolf Gut Splash.

We could splash all the guts!

That sounds a little greedy, Lay Lay.

Who is Greedy? A rival clown?

If he's coming for my money,

he better know Laughy the clown
ain't no joke!

Greedy is getting full at a buffet

but still sneaking a bunch of food
into your pockets for later.

That is the definition of greedy…

in the "suckers who don't want
to get paid" dictionary.

Yeah, Sadie! I want to get paid!

Well, there's nothing wrong
with getting paid, Lay Lay.

But if you have extra money,

you could give it to a charity,
like Sage the Whales.

Don't you mean Save the Whales?

Oh, no, it's "sage."
It cleanses their bad energy.

Whales, zombies. Two very noble causes.

Wait.

What are you getting out of this, Marky?

Money, duh.

The standard for an agent is ten percent.

Surprisingly, that sounds fair.

Well, I'm giving my money
from these jobs to the whales.

You can, sis.

With me guiding your careers,

you can waste money on any dumb
charity your heart desires.

♪ ♪

All of Cleveland can sneeze in this hanky!

[laughter]

Great, because I'm about to…

ah-ah-achoo!

[laughter]

Sappy?

Oh, I think I fell on my honker.

[nose honking]

[laughs]

A never-ending scarf bit
followed by a sneeze-and-fall.

That is some next-level clown work.

These girls might even be ready for--

nah, never mind.

Your lips say "never mind,"

but my ears hear "big payday."

It's a party for the toughest crowd
there is: teenagers.

They don't come to laugh.

They come to catch a clown fail
to post online.

I'm hearing new demographic
and viral exposure.

-Go on.
-It gets worse.

They want a pie fight.
Pie fights are dirty.

They've been known to break up
a lot of clown teams.

Is that gonna be a problem?

-Not if you pay us double.
-Double?

Yes. Look at the artistry.

They're a hit!

I guess you get what you pay for.

And these girls are the best.

And you know what else is the best?

Silk ties.

Excuse me, I've got some shopping to do.

I'm Laughy, and this is Sappy.

Now, if you'll excuse us,
of our closest friends

are waiting for us in a car outside.

[cheers and applause]

♪ ♪

Sorry I destroyed your violin, Ms. A.

These push-ups got me swole.

'Kay.

It's all right. I figured it out.

The drums are perfect for you.

Not only are they a stress reliever,

but they can also take a b*ating.

Are you sure you want to do this?

When my dad tried to teach me how to fish,

all I caught was a bird.

Jeremy, we are doing this. Have a seat.

Take these, one in each hand,
and just follow my lead.

[rhythmic clapping]

[drums mimic rhythm]

[rhythmic clapping and foot-stomping]

[drums mimic rhythm]

Yes! Jeremy, you're doing it!

[arrhythmic drumming]

Okay, you're playing too fast. Slow down.

I can't! The rhythm owns me now!

[arrhythmic drumming]

I'll show myself out.

Oh!

Don't you walk out on
Trish "No One Walks Out on Me" Alexander.

Wow! You do have a lot of nicknames!

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jump
Jump, jump, jump ♪

The rest of the house
might not respect you, kale,

but I do.

Go, kale! You're a superfood!

Go, kale! Rock that attitude!

Go, kale! Go, kale! Go--

Come on.

How many times have we talked
about these superfood songs?

I've got good news.

And a new tie?

Uh, not important.

What is important is that I got
Laughy and Sappy a huge gig.

You're gonna be making pie fight money.

A pie fight? Really?

No, say it like this.

[excitedly] A pie fight? Really?

But it goes against two
of Sadie's pillars

for proper living:
food waste and littering.

Plus, I don't want to hit my bestie
in the face with a pie.

But what about the whales?
Can't you hear them?

[moans]

"Help us, Sadie!"

[moans]

I'll find some other way to help them.

Well, Lay Lay already agreed
to the pie fight.

-She did?
-Yeah.

She wants to make enough money
for Zombie Gut Splash.

Do you want to be the person

that keeps her best friend
from achieving her dream?

[sighs]

It's a VR game where you k*ll zombies.

Can you really call that a dream?

Wow. Super judgy, Sadie.

Is "don't be too judgy"
one of your pillars?

[sighs] It's pillar .

You know what?
I'm going to do it for Lay Lay.

♪ ♪

Serve this much kale, Sadie,

we wind up with this much compost.

-Good news!
-Oh!

Whoa!

Careful! Don't get that garbage
on my new shirt.

When did you get a new shirt?

Uh, not important.

What is important

is that you and Sadie
are doing a pie fight.

Is that when we fight
over who gets to eat a pie?

Because if a key lime is on the table,

Sadie don't want this much smoke.

No, you throw pies at each other.

Then what? The pie slops on the floor?

Who eats these pies, Marky? Who?

It's a little spilled pie.
What's the big deal?

I just discovered pie.

Now you want me to throw it on the floor?

What do you mean you just discovered pie?

Um…

in Houston, we, uh, mostly do cake.

I've had a hard life, Marky.

A pie fight is big money.

You could get that home version
of Zombie Gut Splash.

I've been thinking about
what Sadie said about greed.

She's right. I don't need that game.

But she already said yes.

She's really excited.

But go ahead, break her heart.

Oh, man.

Okay, fine! I'll do the party.

You made the right choice!

Thanks, Marky.
What would we do without you?

Make a whole lot less money.

♪ ♪

-♪ Jump ♪
-♪ Whoo ♪

-♪ Jump, jump ♪
-♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Jump, jump ♪

Get everything out that isn't waterproof.

Pie fights are messy.

Hitting you with a pie
isn't going to be easy, Lay Lay.

But it'll be worth it
when we can finally afford

the Zombie Gut Splash home game.

Finally?

You guys made enough money
to buy that game

after you worked your fourth party.

[both] What?

Yeah, I paid your agent

more than enough for that game.

[both] What?

He said he was only gonna keep
ten percent.

Hang on.

Do you think we get ten percent
and he gets ?

That does sound like Marky!

He's been cheating us.

I'm shocked… and hurt…

but also low-key impressed.

He did tell you this party
was for teenagers?

What? Teenagers?

Oh, we're the worst!

Marky lied to us again.

The first two rules of clowning:

never trust a clown agent,

and don't date the human cannonball.

They'll leave a hole in your heart.

We should quit, because I definitely

didn't want to throw a pie in your face.

Don't be scared. My face loves pie.

And if we don't quit,
we can take Marky down

the clown way.

The clown way!

Okay, it sounded better when you did it.

But I'm in.

♪ ♪

Ooh, a guitar! Cool. [chuckles]

Yep, because we have a few spares

in case you break this one.

But I still believe in you.

One sec.

Okay. I'm ready.

Now, just feel the music first
and let the rhythm guide you.

[gentle guitar music playing]

♪ ♪

Oh!

Jeremy, that was amazing!

I guess all those years
as a finger puppeteer

finally paid off!

Thank you, Ms. A.

[laughs]

You'll make the band for sure.

Toledo, here I come!

Hey, do you might if I take
this home to practice?

Knock yourself out.

But don't actually knock yourself out.

Don't worry. I think I got it this time.

Hey, you are awesome.

[sighs]

Well, Trish "I Earned
Some Ice Cream" Alexander

is heading to the kitchen.

[hip-hop music plays]

Please welcome Laughy and Sappy!

Glad it's not me on that stage today.

-Hey, Laughy!
-Hey, Sappy!

Ready to get wacky?

Before we start our show,
we need to hear a hand-clappy!

[plastic hands clapping]

Ooh, tough crowd.

I'm going to make some… music!

[air horn blows]

My commissions! No!

Get your sticky hands off my cash!

Come on up, Marky!

Everyone start recording,

'cause we're about to head to Clown City.

Hey, everybody!

I heard you asked for a pie fight,

and I have a cart
of cream pies right here.

[all] Whoo!

We also heard this guy stole our money.

Uh-oh.

He thought he could pull one over
on his big sister.

Just because we're clowns
doesn't mean we're clowns.

[both] It's pie time!

[all] Whoo!

I'm your agent, not a prop!

[laughs]

Oh, you are so fired as our agent.

Let him have it, guys!

Come on, guys.

We can talk about this.

[grunting]

[gibbering]

When you work with clowns,
the joke's on you.

That's what you get!