03x11 - w*r Stories

[bunniefuu]

No, No, No.
You Guys Come On Over.

You're Welcome.

Clair Has To Teach A Class
At The Community Center Tonight

So Come On.

All Right, Dad.

Bye-Bye.

( Mischievous Laugh )

What?

My Father, That's What.

My Father Says To Me

He And Homer Dobson
Are Coming Over Here

And They Want Me To Meet
One Of Their Old Army Buddies.

Ha, Ha, Ha.

This Wouldn't Have Anything
To Do With Pinochle.

Yes.

My Father Didn't Say Anything
About Pinochle--

Did Not Mention Cards At All.

But I Know That He And Homer
Are Bringing This Man Over

To Help Them Cheat Me.

Why Would They Do That?

Because I b*at Them
The Last Time They Played Here.

I'll Bet You This Man
Has Never Been In The Army.

He's Probably Some Pinochle
Champion From Out Of State.

I'm Glad I Won't Be Here.

When You And Your Dad
Play Pinochle, It's Pathetic.

Mom, Can I Ask You Something?

Before She Does,
I Want To Say

I've Been Putting This
Together For An Hour.

I Think I've Done
Good Work.

However, Vanessa's
Doubting Me.

Vanessa,
That Is A Very Smart Outfit.

Do I Look Good?

You Look Stunning.

Thank You, Mom.

Okay, We Go
With This One.

Hey, Wait, Wait.

What About Me?

I'm Sorry, Dad.

What Do You Think?

I Think You Look Bold,
Yet Subtle.

I Think You Look Contemporary,
Yet Aromatic.

Thank You, Dad.

Where Are You Going
In That Thing?

She's Just Going
To A Skating Party.

With Who?

With Her Friend.

Which Friend?

Just A Friend.

What Is The Friend's Name?

Tyrone.

Tyrone?

A Boy?

Unless It's Short For Tyronella.

Uh... No, Dad.

It's A Boy.

Aha!

What Time Is This Young Man

Coming Over To Pick You Up?

You Know, Sooner Or Later

He's Got To Come Here
To Pick You Up.

And Then He'll Meet Me--
Mr. Charm.

♪ Tyrone, You Belong To Me ♪

Operator?

I Don't Think
My Phone's Ringing.

Can You Call Me Back?

Thanks.

( Ring )

Yeah, I Guess
It Is Working.

Thanks, Operator.

What's That All About?

I Was Expecting
This Girl To Call

And The Phone Never Rang.

Why Don't You Call Her Up?

It's Past The Deadline.

Her Parents Won't Let
A Call Come In?

No, Not That Kind Of Deadline.

I Asked Condola Burns
Out Tonight.

She Said She Was
% Sure She Would

And When She Was % Sure

She'd Call.

Cockroach Told Me To Use

The Deadline Delivery Method.

The Cockroach...

Deadline Delivery Method.

You Ask A Girl Out.

If She's Not Sure

You Tell Her She Has To Give You
An Answer By A Certain Time

Or She Can Forget It.

You Might As Well Go To Bed Now.

( Doorbell )

Ha, Ha, Ha!

Cockroach Deadline Delivery.

Whoa.

Hey, Hello.

How Are You?

Look At You.

Cliff, How You Doing?

Hello, Sir.

Son, I'd Like You
To Meet My Dear Friend

Sergeant Major Boswell Stokes,
U.S. Army, Retired.

How Are You, Sir?

Nice To Meet You.

Pleased To
Meet You.

So, You Were
In The Navy?

Oh, Yes.

I'll Try Not To Hold
That Against You.

( Sigh )

Well, It's Good To See You Guys.

Thanks For Having Us.

Thank You For Coming Over.

I Haven't Seen You Since
We Last Played Cards.

Yes.

I Missed You.

Same Here.

You Know,
It's Quite A Coincidence.

This Morning I Was
Talking To My Wife

About How People Don't Just
Stop By And Visit Anymore

Like They Used To
In The Old Days.

Well, That's
Why We're Here.

Yes, Indeedy.

Well, Wonderful.

Of Course We Don't Have To
Just Sit And Chat.

We Could Engage In Some
Entertaining Activity

If We Want.

Does Anybody
Have Any Ideas?

Yeah.

I Think We Could
Put On Our Coats

And Take A Nice Walk
By The River.

We Parked By The River.

We Already Took That Walk.

There Is Something We
Haven't Done In A While.

What's That?

Cards.

It's True.

Cards.

Well, That Sounds Fine For Me

But I Don't Know
If Sergeant Stokes Here...

Well, A Game Of Cards?

I Think That Would Be Nice.

What Particular...

Pinochle.

So?

That Looks Good.

I Don't Know.

You've Tried On
Everything In Your Closet.

You've Even Tried On
My Clothes.

Just Go With This.

But How Will It Look

When I Put The Skates On?

Put On Your Skates.

That's A Great Idea.

I Don't Believe This.

Oh, Vanessa,
I Love Those Shoes.

You Know, They're
Definitely You.

Lay Off, Theo.

I Want To Look Good.

It's Just A Skating Party.

You'll Spend Most Of Your Time
Falling, Anyway.

But She'll Be Falling
With Her Date

Which Is More
Than You Can Say.

Everyone Gets Stood Up
Once In A While.

Especially When They Use

The Cockroach Deadline
Delivery Method.

We're Working
A Few Bugs Out Of It.

Don't Worry,
You'll Get A Date Someday.

Ahh.

Say, Homer.

Do You Remember
An Old Singing Group

Called "The Diamonds"?

Yeah, I Remember "The Diamonds."

They Sang A Song I Liked.

Do You Remember The Name?

"The Diamonds"
Sang A Lot Of Songs

But I Think You're Thinking Of,
"I Ain't Got None."

Partner, They're Trying
To Cheat Us.

I Don't Know What You Mean.

I Just Hear Two Gentlemen
Discussing Their Love Of Music.

As A Matter
Of Fact

A Little Later
We Should Go To Some Clubs

And Listen To Music.

That's A Good Idea.

How Many Clubs
Did You Have In Mind?

About Two.

Hello, May I Speak To Condola?

She's Out?

On A Date?!

Oh.

Will You Tell Her
That Theo Huxtable Called

And That I'm Sorry

And That It Was All
Cockroach's Idea?

Thanks. Bye.

( Doorbell )

Yes?

Hi, I'm Vanessa Huxtable.

I'm Here To Pick Up
Tyrone Baxter.

You Sure About That?

Oh.

I Mean, I'm Tyrone Baxter

And I'm Here To Pick Up
Vanessa Huxtable.

You Okay?

Yeah, I Think So.

I'm Theo,
Vanessa's Brother.

Come In And
Take Off Your Coat.

Thanks,
I Appreciate It.

Watch It!

Don't Even
Try It!

( Arguing )

Is Somebody Having
A Fight In There?

No, That's My Dad
And My Granddad

With Their Friends
Playing Cards.

If You Want To Get In
Good With My Dad

You Have To Play
Pinochle Or Chess.

I Love Chess--

And I Can Learn To Play
Pinochle, Really I Can.

It's Okay. Relax.

My Dad's The Important One.

Yeah.

First, I Need To Know

What Kind Of Music You Like.

All Kinds, Really.

My Dad Likes Jazz.

I Like Jazz, Really I Do.

Now, Me-- I'm Into
Rhythm And Blues, Rock And Rap.

I'm Into All Of It.

Vanessa Likes Funk.

Funk Is My Life, Really.

Tyrone, I Think It's Time
You Meet My Dad.

Really? What Should I Say?

How Should I Be?

Just Be Yourself.

How's That?

Tyrone, Don't Worry.

Dad Treats All The Guys
That Come In Here The Same--

Like Dirt.

Let's Go Meet My Dad.

Good Luck.

Wait A Second.

What?

Your Father Really
Wants To Meet Me?

There's Nothing
To Be Nervous About.

You'll Go In There

He'll Say, "Nice To Meet You"

And You'll Say, "Same Here."

Excuse Me, Dad--

This Is Tyrone Baxter.

He's Here To Take
Vanessa Skating.

This Is My Dad,
Dr. Huxtable.

Tyrone, How Are You?

Same Here,
Dr. Hustable.

Same Here?

I Really
Meant That.

Don't We Get Introduced?

This Is My Father,
Mr. Huxtable...

How Do You Do?

His Close Friend,
Homer Dobson...

How Do You Do?

And This Is
Sergeant Major Stokes.

How Do You Do?

He's A Professional
Card Shark.

You Want Something
Cold To Drink?

Sure.

You Got Cents?

How About A Soda?

Yeah, I Like Soda.

Make Sure You Get The Cents.

Uh, Tyrone...

So You're Going To
Take Out My Vanessa?

Vanessa Is Very,
Very Special To Me.

You Understand?

Mm-Hmm.

I've Always Thought
A Boy Would Come

And Take Out My Daughter--

He Would Have To Be
Special Also.

And If You Ever Did
Anything To Hurt Her

I'd Take This...

Have A Good Time.

Is That All You Want To
Ask Me, Dr. Hustable?

I Mean, Is There
Anything Else?

What More Did You
Want Me To Say?

Oh, Nothing.
I'm Fine.

Good.

Now Get Out.

Nice Meeting All Of You.

Good-Bye.

Dad, You Were
Pretty Easy On Him.

Are You Okay?

I Don't Have Time
To Take Prisoners.

I'm In The Middle
Of A w*r.

Do Me
A Favor.

Give Him A Soda And Tell Him
Everything's All Right.

Okay.

And Tell Him My Name
Is Huxtable.

Cliff, This Is Not A w*r.

A w*r Is Where You Fight Battles
And Win A Purple Heart.

We Know A Few Men
Who Won Purple Hearts.

Mm-Hmm.

How Many Men Do We Know
Who Won Purple Hearts?

Oh, I'd Say
About Three.

I Only Knew
One Myself--

A Little
Bitty Fellow.

I'm Serious, Tyrone,
Dad Really Liked You.

Really?

He Talked To You--
You're In.

Yeah, But I'm Still Nervous.

This Is My First Date.

Hi, Are You Tyrone?

Yes.

I'm Rudy.

And Vanessa Looks Good.

When Is She Coming Down?

Soon.

So, Tyrone,
Tell Me About Yourself.

I'm In The Eighth Grade.

That's Nice.

Are You Going To
Kiss Vanessa Tonight?

Do I Have To
Answer That?

I Think
You Should.

Well, It's
Up To Her.

Smart Man!

Hi, Tyrone.
Sorry To Keep You Waiting.

It's All Right.

Told You She Looked Good.

You Do, Vanessa, Really.

Hi, I'm Denise.

I'll Be Driving You.

( Doorbell )

I'll Get It.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi, May I Help You?

I'm Aaron Stokes,
Sergeant Stokes' Grandson.

I'm Vanessa Huxtable.

My Grandpa Forgot His Glasses.

He's In The Kitchen.

I'll Show You.

Thanks, Vanessa.

Tyrone, I'll Be Right Back.

This Way.

So, Tyrone, What
Grade Are You In?

Eighth.

She's Right.

What Grade Are You In?

I'm A Freshman In College.

College--
Oh, I Like College.

I'm Going To Go.

Really,
I Am.

That's Nice.

Denise?

Yeah.

I Have To Give You Something

In My Room.

We're About To Leave.

But If I Don't Give It
To You Now, I'll Forget.

What Is It?

We'll Be Right Back.

Just Come On.

Sure.

Tyrone, There's One Thing

You Need To Know About Girls.

They Always Need Extra Time
Before Going Out.

You Must Know
A Lot About Dating.

Oh, Yeah.

In Fact, I Would Be
On One Right Now

But I Chose To Stay Home

And Spend Time
With The Family.

What Did You
Need To Give Me?

Nothing.

That's Not Why
I Brought You Up Here.

I'm Confused.

About What?

Aaron--
He's Incredible.

He's Okay.

Did You See His Eyes?

The Way He Moved?

The Way He Wore His Suspenders?

He's Okay.

I Would Love To Ask Him
To Go Skating With Us.

Vanessa, Have You
Lost Your Mind?

What Do You Mean?

You've Already
Got A Date.

Are You Going To
Drop Tyrone?

No, I Want Him To Go, Too.

You Have Lost Your Mind.

Try Concentrating
On One Guy At A Time.

But Guys Always Do This
To Girls.

Look At Theo And Cockroach--

They're Pigs.

You Have A Point.

But It's Still
Not Fair To Tyrone.

Okay, Okay.

The Lakers Are
Going All The Way.

I Like The Rockets.

Me, Too.

You're
A Rockets Man?

You Better
Believe It.

All Right.

Sorry For The Delay, Everybody.

Oh, Aaron,
You're Still Here.

We Were Just Talking
About Basketball.

You've Been Keeping Tyrone
Waiting A Long Time.

It's All Right.

The Skating Party
Will Still Be Going.

You're Going
Skating?

Yeah, You Want
To Join Us?

Sounds Like Fun.

I'll Ask Granddad.

Are You Crazy?

What?

Letting Another R R R Me Along.

I Like Aaron.

Who Cares?

He May Go For Vanessa.

You Have To Tell Him
He Can't Go.

I Don't Want To Do That.

Why Not?

I'm Already Nervous
About This Date.

If Aaron's There,
There Will Be Less Pressure.

Yeah, There Won't Be
Any Pressure

When You're
Skating Alone, Pal.

Granddad
Said It's Okay.

Great, Let's Go!

Aaron, I'm Really
Glad You're Going.

Me, Too.

Me, Too.

I Can't Believe

Vanessa Has Two Dates.

And She Didn't Even Use

The Cockroach
Deadline Delivery Method.

During The w*r

There Was One Particular
Night I Remember.

I Was In A Foxhole And
The Bombing Had Stopped.

I Looked Up At The Sky

And Saw Hundreds Of Stars
Dancing On Treetops

And I Thought,
When Man Stops Fighting

He Can See God's Work.

I Never Saw
Any Stars.

Stars?

Is That Another Word
For Diamonds?

No, Stars,
Stars...

I'm Serious.

I Was In A t*nk.

We Both Were.

st t*nk
Battalion.

That's Right.

It Was In Those Tanks
That We Saw Our Greatest

And Our Most
Humiliating Moment.

What Happened?

We Must Have Been
The Only Platoon

To Have
Captured The Enemy

And The Enemy Acted Like
They Were Doing Us A Favor.

Why?

We Had Surrounded

This Platoon Of Nazis
With Our Tanks.

After A While,
They Came Out Of The Woods

Waving The White Flag
With Their Hands Held Up.

When Those Nazis Saw
They Had Been Captured

By An All Black
American t*nk Platoon...

Uh-Oh.

The Looks On Their Face
Seemed To Say

"No, No, Not You Guys.

"Anybody

"But You Guys.

"I Can't Go Back
To My Hometown

And Tell Them I Surrendered
To You Guys."

They Turned Around And Started
Walking Back Into The Woods.

No...

We Got Orders

To Fire A Few Rounds
Over Their Heads.

That's What Made Them Decide
It Wasn't So Bad

Being Captured By Us.

So They Came Back.

They Had To,
Didn't They?

Let Me Tell You

When I Was In The Navy
We Were On Maneuvers...

Wait, When Was This?

This Is .

I Don't Think
There Was A w*r On

In .

No, You Don't Need A w*r
For Things To Be Dangerous.

Hold It, Cliff.

Where Were These Maneuvers?

We Were In Bermuda.

Russell, Would You
Play A Card Please.

Wait A
Minute.

We Were...

That's The
Wrong Card.

Everything Doesn't
Have To Be...

If We Listen
To Your Story

Will You Finish
The Card Game?

Okay.

This Had Better Be Good.

Now, We're On Maneuvers

And This Is
Serious Maneuvers...

Off The Coast Of Bermuda.

Yes, The Coast
Of Bermuda.

Now, I'm Lying
In My Bunk

And I Hear The Sound Off
General Quarters.

There's A Fire In
Compartment .

A Fire Can Be Dangerous.

Yeah, But This
Wasn't A Real Fire.

This Was
A Fire Drill.

We Had
The Drill...

It Wasn't Real?

No.

But It's Still
Dangerous, Because...

Why Don't We Take
That Walk By The River.

I Had To Get Up.

Now, The Compartment
Is Here

And Over Here--
This Is Where I Am.

In My Bunk.

Now, By The Time I
Got To The Compartment...

( Door Slamming )

Come In!