04x06 - A Piece of Cake

[bunniefuu]

I will not rest until my grandson is with me, where he belongs! What am I supposed to do, sh**t down a chopper? You'll do whatever is necessary.

The boy and his friends go out to the woods, and nobody comes back.

Coming through! Carlos, the bridge won't hold the weight.

(g*nsh*t)

Mike! I've got a visual.

Locking infrared scan.

Looking good.

He hasn't got a clue we're on his tail.

We could track a jackrabbit with heartburn with this thing.

Check with Jo.

Make sure the digital modem is patched in before we send the data.

Good idea.

About to proceed with digital infrared modem Link test.

(READING)

Very funny, Mike.

(TYPING)

(SIGHING)

That ought to do it.

Double link.

Start sending now.

JO: All right.

Specifications entered and receiving visuals.

Good job, guys.

Piece of cake, my eye.

Repo! Repo! You've got an unidentified bogey on your tail.

Acknowledge.

(BEEPING)

Uh

-oh.

I think he's onto us.

(BEEPING)

Oh, you stupid PILOT OVER RADIO: You're in restricted airspace.

Indentify yourself.

Does this guy really think we're gonna tell him who we are? Give me turbo, Mike.

You got it.

Locked and ready.

Sorry, pal.

(BIDDING FAREWELL IN SPANISH)

We've lost the connection with Jo.

SAINT JOHN: Then patch through the phone.

Good idea.

(CLATTERS)

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Who's there? Santini Air.

MIKE: How's it going, Watson? Oh, Mike, forget the computer.

I think I've got company.

Hang on, I think I caught a rat.

(BOBBY GROANING)

JO: All right! Hey, get off of me, lady! Let me go! Calm down! Bring the car around.

Over there in that corner there, that's where we put the Christmas tree the year my son, Roberto, was confirmed.

Mama was so proud.

Loved this house.

I remember.

These walls hold many memories.

Not all of them so good.

What is it they say if walls could talk? (LAUGHS)

If walls could talk, I'd have to put out a contract on this whole house.

(SIGHS)

Still, it's tough to leave, even retirement.

Yeah, that's great! Just great! You should be thanking Miss Santini and Mr.

Rivers.

You'd rather be on probation? Is that what you want? Well, anything would be better than playing Daniel Boone with a bunch of grease

-monkeys I don't even know.

Ah, Bobby's got a point.

I'll just go back and tell the judge she made a mistake.

You tell her you'd rather have a rap sheet at 15 like your father! Go tell her.

Leave my father out of this.

I don't know what I'm going to do with him.

Oh, he's not as bad as he seems.

Mike's right.

Kids just test whatever boundaries you put before them.

That's where the Wilderness Program works.

(BEEPING)

MARCO: The expl*sives are armed.

(CHUCKLING)

Safer than traveler's checks, eh, Marco? It'll take care of expenses in Mexico until the bank arrangements are completed.

And the boy? We'll bring him to you in the morning.

I've waited 12 long years for this day.

Make it clean.

I'll see to it.

Are you sure it's safe? Bobby's never even been camping.

His father Well, his father d*ed when he was three.

None of these kids have any experience.

They all learn together.

Teamwork's half the point.

My keys! I must have locked them in the car.

JO: I think Bobby has just solved your problem.

(CAR DOOR OPENS)

Take him to the woods.

Just don't hold me responsible for what he does to the animals.

(SNORING)

The old man's got a fortune strapped to his arm, we could just go with that.

It's wired, you idiot.

Besides, that's nothing compared to what we'll get for the kid.

By the way, thanks for the tie and jacket.

Yeah, I just got it cleaned.

So, what is all this stuff anyway? You've got enough gear here to storm the Himalayas.

Hey, I'm just like mustard.

Prepared.

What? You were never a Boy Scout? Never.

I like my camping private and peaceful, just me and nature.

And a bottle opener.

That Conrad kid is going to be a real handful.

You sure you won't join us, Jason? What, me in the woods with those hoods? No way.

Why not? Just because the girl we're taking along got arrested for biting the heads off parking meters? All I can say is, good luck.

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

Hey, guys.

Well, well, the g*ng's all here.

Jo Santini, Saint John Hawke.

Carlos Cervantes.

Hi, Carlos.

What's she? The stewardess? Watch your lip, Carlos.

She's the pilot.

Thank you.

Dwayne Hicks.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen.

Dwayne Hicks.

Hi, guys, how are you doing? Ha! This is a joke, man.

I don't have to be here, you know.

Yeah, you could be sitting in the state pen.

You just shut up, man.

Hey, put a cork in it, guys.

Thank you.

And the beautiful and talented, Leigh Williams.

JO: Hiya, Leigh.

If I get airsick, it's going to be your problem.

Charming.

Come on out, Bobby.

Jo, of course, you know Bobby Conrad.

I like to call him Chip.

Well, campers, what say we all just get ready and go camping.

You really going to fly that thing? You bet.

Oh, we're dead meat.

We're dead meat.

Coronado's going to love this.

(HELICOPTER ENGINE POWERING UP)

MIKE: Come on.

That means everybody.

Let's go.

DWAYNE: Look, I don't got to, man.

It's against my constitutional rights.

You want me to empty your pockets for you? Oh, no.

Okay, man, here you go.

BOBBY: So much for the constitution.

MIKE: Yeah.

I better get this back.

Don't worry.

Plan on mugging a tree, Carlos? (EXCLAIMS)

Oh, Uncle Mikey, you're going to have a swell time.

Yeah.

All right, let's get packed up.

Chopper's waiting.

Come on, you heard him, let's go.

What are you waiting for? Go on.

What am I supposed to do, sh**t down a chopper? You'll do whatever is necessary.

You listen to me.

I will not rest until my grandson is with me, where he belongs! JO: This is your stewardess speaking.

Fasten your seatbelts.

MIKE: Have a look down there, kids.

You're not going to see a scenery like this in the city.

DWAYNE: Rocks and trees, man.

Big deal.

CARLOS: Open your eyes, Leigh, you're missing all the excitement.

LEIGH: Shut up! BOBBY: Hey, stewardess, can't this thing go any faster? BOBBY: Hey, man, there's snow down there.

You didn't say anything about snow.

SAINT JOHN: Don't worry about it, Bobby.

The trail we're going on is too cold for skiing.

BOBBY: You're kidding, right? I mean, he's kidding, isn't he? MIKE: So, what looks good, Arnie? I'd say down Paradise Ridge.

Pretty rough in spots but nothing these kids can't handle.

ARNIE: Try that Capilano Trail.

Sounds perfect, doesn't it? Let's get this over with.

Knock it off, Carlos! Saint John Yeah.

See you Sunday around noon, bottom of Paradise Ridge.

If you come back alone, I'll understand.

Nah.

Okay, let's load up.

(GRUNTS)

According to the flight plan, they'll be landing at the south ranger station up in Browning State Park.

Perfection.

We can use my old hunting lodge for a base.

Does he know he is a Coronado? If he doesn't, he soon will.

But if you'll beg my pardon, Don Coronado, wouldn't it be best to wait for them to return? Marco, don't you see how ideal this is? The boy and his friends go out to the woods, and nobody comes back.

It happens all the time.

MIKE: So, what do you think of the Fab Four? JO: Oh, I don't know.

I think they're coming around.

(COUGHS)

Come on, guys, we're burning daylight.

Hey, you burn daylight, man.

I'm burnt out.

You've got lungs you haven't even used yet.

Come on, we've got to find shelter before dark.

Shelter from what? Nothing can live up here.

Are you kidding me? Bears love it up here.

They've been following us for the last mile.

Hello! Hey, man, there ain't no bears here.

They've got plenty of places to hide.

He's just trying to scare us.

It sure worked for me.

I'm not scared.

Yeah, me neither.

Hey, I'll race you guys.

Let's get out of here, man.

(COUGHING)

Okay, so is this great or what? Just bury me here, man.

(SIGHS)

You'll live.

Just think of it as a test to see how much damage those cigarettes have done to your lungs.

Man, I won't live to get the results.

(CHUCKLES)

Homes.

Speaking of homes, let's camp over there.

Okay, let's pick up some firewood, huh? I don't hear any voices.

You do it.

I could be home watching the Celtics.

You could be scrubbing toilets out in the reformatory.

I'll help you.

Atta girl, Leigh.

Let's show these wimps how it's done.

Now, remember, booze and broads are the same as milk and eggs at the corner store.

It's all a matter of marketing, you understand? I'll keep the operation running.

You'll be proud of me, Don Coronado.

I know.

But watch your back.

Those animals, they'd start a w*r in a week and take it all down.

There'd be nothing left for Roberto.

Roberto? But I'm to be the new Don! And you will be until Roberto is ready to take my place.

But I thought Marco, you've been like a son to me.

But Roberto is blood, my blood.

You will serve him well, as you have served me.

DWAYNE: Hey, Mike, where's the beef in this stuff? MIKE: You're looking at it.

It's got everything you need.

Proteins, carbohydrates, fats.

What, you don't like it? No! No thanks, man.

I'd rather drown.

(OWL HOOTING)

Mmm.

It's good.

Man, I don't have to eat this junk.

Then I guess you don't gotta be all that hungry, huh? Oh, I want a double cheeseburger and a strawberry shake.

Oh, and a ton of fries.

It's a long hike back to the golden arches, guys.

It's not that bad.

All right, finish up, we'll hit the sack.

We've got a lot of miles to cover tomorrow morning.

Well, I ain't bunkin' with the beaner.

Who asked you? Carlos, you and me.

Dwayne, you and Bobby take one tent.

And, Jo, you and Leigh take the ladies

-only tent, okay? Right.

Hey, it's empty! What? My canteen.

How could you have finished all your water? I didn't.

It was almost full.

Hey, it was Dwayne, man.

I never did it, man! It was you! It was Bobby.

He lost his on the hike up.

So what's the big deal? It's only water.

Take a look around.

The big deal, Bobby, is water's precious, okay? I mean, you gotta make it last.

If this was a survival situation, you'd be dead.

Smooth move, man.

Shut up! Okay, okay.

That's enough out of everybody.

Lights out.

Let's hustle.

Come on.

I said hustle.

Go on.

Let's clean this mess up, Jo.

Mmm

-hmm.

Gee, this is more fun than I thought.

(CHUCKLES)

Thanks for spilling your guts, man.

Look, Bobby, you had it coming to you.

Yeah, sure, just blame me.

Everybody always blames me.

Bobby, why don't you just shut up and go to sleep? Hey, you know, I don't have to hang around for this.

Well, that's fine by me.

Jo, is Mike your boyfriend? (LAUGHS)

No.

He's just a good friend.

We work together.

Oh.

Does he have a girlfriend? (CHUCKLES)

Take a number.

Figures.

(LAUGHS)

Psst! Wake up, wake up! Carlos! Mike! Huh? Bobby just left.

Bobby's gone.

He took off.

(THUNDER RUMBLING)

What the hell do you think you're doing out here? You don't want me back there, man.

I'm only going to mess things up again.

You mean, the water thing? Yeah, the water thing! So you screwed up, so what? We'll find more water tomorrow.

You just can't afford to be careless out here, that's all.

That's it? I don't get it.

Get what? Look, I screw up here, I bust into your hangar to rip you guys off, and instead of nailing me, you let me get away with it.

What's the angle, man? There's no angle.

Let me tell you a story, Bobby.

When I was your age, I did my share of screwing up too, you know.

Borrowed a few cars, hung around with a bunch of tough guys.

Real wrong side of the tracks kinda stuff.

Then I met this old World w*r II pilot who took me under their wing, and set me straight.

He taught me to fly in more ways than one.

You know what I mean? He taught me to do things right.

To be proud of myself.

Is that true? Nah.

It makes a great story, huh? Come on.

Let's get some sleep.

Jeez, it's wet out here.

If one hair on Roberto's head is harmed, you will pay the price.

Understood, Don Coronado.

I figure it, the old man should cough up a few mill to have junior back undamaged.

I still don't like the idea of wasting a bunch of kids.

You can cry into your caviar about it when we're finished.

(ENGINE STARTING)

(TIRES SCREECHING)

SOUZA: Looks like the weather's closing in.

MAX: Never mind the weather.

Let's find that kid.

MIKE: Who likes fishing? I'll bet there's a 10 pound rainbow trout in that creek.

LEIGH: Who wants to eat fish? BOBBY: I caught a fish once.

CARLOS: Where? The supermarket? BOBBY: No, off the pier with my old man.

CARLOS: You couldn't catch a cold.

DWAYNE: Hey, man, do we ever get to go downhill? MIKE: Once we've crossed the gorge, yeah.

LEIGH: What's a gorge? BOBBY: I think that is.

You're the second party in two days who's been up here.

I'm not used to so much attention.

Yeah, well, we're looking for one of the kids in that hiking party.

Family emergency.

Oh, yeah? Oh, you're lucky, I know where they're headed.

Let's see, they ought to be hitting low ground by now.

Yeah.

You won't have any trouble spotting them from that access road.

Appreciate the help, buddy.

Yeah.

Hey, what's the holdup? (BRIDGE CREAKING)

Oh, God! Oh, God, I'm going to be sick.

I hate heights.

CARLOS: Go on, get a move on! I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

I'm not scared.

Oh, God, I'm scared.

Atta girl, Leigh, come on.

One step at a time, Leigh.

You can do it.

Look, just don't look down.

JO: Look straight ahead, Leigh.

Just hang on with both hands and keep moving.

CARLOS: Don't be a wimp! MIKE: Shut up, guys! Relax, Leigh, you can do it.

Move it, thunder

-thighs! You're a lot of help, Carlos.

Leigh, you can do it.

Go on! (BRIDGE CREAKING)

JO: Leigh, are you all right? Coming through! Carlos, no, stop it! MIKE: Hey, get back there, Carlos! The bridge won't hold the weight.

Come on.

Shove over! I can't.

Ow! Ow, help! I'm caught.

My foot! Ow! No, no, no.

Let me go, let me go.

I'm lighter.

Okay.

Go easy.

Hold still, man.

Hold still.

LEIGH: Hurry, Bobby, I'm scared.

CARLOS: Shut up! Help me! Pull your foot in, man.

Come on.

Oh, watch it, man.

I can do it myself, man.

I don't need no help.

You okay, man? Come on, Leigh, I've got you.

Brains, Carlos.

Dwayne.

They got to be around here somewhere.

Max! Right there.

Let's go.

(COUGHING)

Well, this is it.

It's all downhill from here.

It's about time! (g*nsh*t)

Mike! Nobody moves! Nobody moves! See if he's dead.

You, kid, come on! Leave him alone.

Come on! What do you want? Just a little family reunion between Roberto here and his grandfather.

I don't have a grandfather, man.

That's what you think, kid.

Come on, Coronado's waiting.

(g*nsh*t)

(SCREAMS)

Stay back! Souza! Souza! You, you're coming with me.

Come on! Go! Come on, kid! Move! Go! What the hell are we supposed to do? I don't know! (GASPING)

Get in the Jeep.

You, drive.

(ENGINE STARTING)

Don't cry, all right? I can't help it.

What the hell are we doing in this place? Oh, great! I don't know.

This is the boondocks, not the barrio.

(MIKE GASPING)

Hey! Well, I'm not too crazy about this neighborhood either.

Mike! LEIGH: You're alive! MIKE: Give me a hand, guys.

(GROANING)

DWAYNE: We thought you were dead.

Yeah.

Take it easy.

My leg, man.

We thought you were dead.

Yeah, I'd like another opinion.

Survival Lesson 101, okay.

Don't jump to conclusions.

(LAUGHING)

You're out of your mind.

Where's Jo? CARLOS: They took her and Bobby.

What? We got to get back to the ranger station.

Come on.

DWAYNE: Just take it easy.

CARLOS: Hang on, hang on.

That ought to do it.

That's a nice job, Dwayne.

No sweat, man.

I took first aid in the 10th grade, for simple credit.

Are we going to make it? I don't see any quitters around here, do you? Hey, thanks, Carlos.

Let's get you up, man.

(GRUNTING)

All right.

Okay.

All right.

Let's rock 'n' roll, guys.

(LAUGHS)

Come on.

Out! You, get out of there! Come on, move! Move! Hold it! What are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing? You and me have to talk business.

Lose the hardware, Marco.

Everybody inside! Move! (MIKE GASPING)

Arnie! (GRUNTING)

They were looking for one of the kids.

Yeah, I know.

Look, hang on.

We're getting help, okay? Don't waste good help.

I'll be here.

Come on.

(GRUNTING)

That's a guy.

(GROANING)

All right.

You must be out of your mind.

Sometimes crazy pays off.

Five million and you get to keep your grandson here.

You're digging your grave, Max.

We'll see who buries who, old man.

MIKE: We'll be all right.

Arnie's lost a lot of blood but we can take care of him until the ranger's medics arrive.

SAINT JOHN: What about you? It's Jo and Bobby that I'm worried about.

Did the kids see which way they went? No.

But it shouldn't be too hard to track them.

They must still be on the mountain somewhere.

We'll get after them.

Hey, don't take any chances with these jokers, Saint John.

They mean business.

So do we.

Stay off that leg.

We'll check in from the air.

He hurt you, Roberto? No.

Look, I keep telling you guys, my name is Bobby.

Bobby Conrad.

You were born Roberto Coronado.

You're my one, my only grandson.

You're Paulo Coronado.

Smart girl, she reads the papers.

Your mother took you away from us, just like she took your father away.

My father's dead.

He d*ed when I was young.

Tell the kid the truth about you and his poppa, Marco.

Shut up, Max.

Tell Mr.

C, here, how you had the kid's poppa iced so you could line a place for yourself in the old man's pockets.

Shut up! The Gambinis k*lled Roberto! MAX: Yeah, but you set him up.

What's the difference between what you did and what I'm doing now? Make the call, old man.

Five million.

(BEEPING)

(ENGINE POWERING UP)

SAINT JOHN: What's our ETA to Paradise Ridge? Seventeen minutes and twelve seconds approximately.

Did Arnie give you anything else? They had a 4X4.

They can't be too far.

They said that they were taking him to see his grandfather, Coronado.

Don Coronado? MIKE: Yeah.

Are you and the kids okay? Yeah.

Just find Jo, okay? How long is it gonna take to transfer that money over to me? If I were you I'd worry about how long you're going to live to spend it.

Nobody's going to find me.

My people will.

There's over a million in here, Max.

It's yours now, no strings.

Keep me if you want.

Just let the boy go.

I'll take it all.

Call 'em, Marco.

Tell them Good, boy.

Good.

Now, Max, we see who buries who.

sh**t, kid! sh**t! Give me the g*n, Bobby.

You're no Coronado.

And you wanted to give everything to this pup? He's just a boy.

At least he's not a k*ller.

Yes, I don't want a k*ller.

I want a grandson.

He's never going to get the chance to be either one.

I don't need any avenging kids coming after me.

I've got a possible location on a lodge in this area.

It could be Coronado's.

Let's take a closer look.

You did sell Roberto to the Gambinis, didn't you? Sure I did, and for what? I took all the crap for him, and now you treat me like a delivery boy.

It's a matter of blood! Let's see some of that precious Coronado blood! No! (g*nsh*t)

Run, Bobby, run! (g*nsh*t)

(EXHALES)

Keep going! Get down.

(HELICOPTER HOVERING)

He's taking a ride.

He won't get far.

How's Jo? She looks okay.

Let's nail this guy.

Roberto.

My grandson, Roberto.

It's me, Grandpa.

Roberto.

He must have loved you very much.

(g*n f*ring)

Looks like we've got a marksman on our hands.

Let's see him outrun this.

Guy just won't give up.

Aim for his briefcase.

Maybe that'll change his mind.

Roger.

(SCREAMING)

What the hell was that? Justice.

If you want to be a pilot, you gotta know how these machines work from the inside out.

Listen to her.

She reads Miss Mechanic.

Since you're non

-functional Thanks.

Make sure you tighten the bolts.

Mike, I really hate to bother you, but are you going to give us a little help here? Oh, I'm sorry, you want some help? Um Bobby! Bobby, would you mind giving these gentlemen some help? Well, sure.

No sweat.

It's nice having an extra pair of hands around here that actually work.

Well, that will do then.

Oh, no, no, no, no, we wouldn't want you to reinjure yourself, Mikey.

JO: Nasty wound that.

Sure we can't get you anything? What, you think I wanted this? What, I ordered this from some, what, catalog? Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mike, Mike, we're just pulling your leg.

You stay away from me with that leg stuff.

Bobby, working? You guys have really turned him around.

I can't thank all of you enough.

He wouldn't even clean up his room for me.

That's 'cause vacuum cleaners don't fly, Mom.

MIKE: That's no way to talk to your mother! A piece of advice, if you will.

Come on, Bobby.

Mothers When I was a kid, my mom worked hard.

Real hard.

You want to know how hard? We're talking I used to have to sell brushes door to door.

Tough? Yeah, you bet.

But, you know, Bobby, I learned something.

About character, about being a man.

'Cause you see, Bobby, behind every man stands a mother at his side.

No, that's not it.

Guys? Guys, my mom didn't really work 24 hours Well, she actually had a maid.

Well, she worked hard to get the maid, but it wasn't It's no big deal, guys.

My leg hurts here.

Hello? Bobby!