02x04 - Dark Side of the Moon

[bunniefuu]

[theme music plays]

♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection? ♪

♪ One always calls out to you ♪

♪ The other's shy and quiet ♪

♪ Could there be two different girls ♪

♪ Who look the same at ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

I'm starving and there's nothing to eat.

Oh there's some leftover Chinese food.

Eww, too greasy.

Pepperoni pizza?

Too fatty.

Curry chicken.

Too spicy.

How bout a block of ice.

Yuck, I hate water.

Just forget it I'm not hungry anymore.

Good idea Liz,

only shopping days until Christmas.

It's just a little something for Todd.

Liz.

It's a Lakers jacket.

I ordered it a month ago before Todd and I broke up.

It just arrived, I have to give it to him.

Liz!

It has his name on it.

What am I gonna do with it?

I'll keep it.

I'm sure one of these days I'll date a guy name Todd.

-Uh. -Liz,

look I know this isn't easy,

but you're going to have to move on.

Todd's not worth it.

Besides, he has one huge flaw.

What's that?

He broke up with my sister.

What you need is to find a new boyfriend.

I don't know Jess.

I don't think I'm ready.

Not ready to date?

That's like not being ready to breathe.

Are you sure we're related?

So anyway the House of Chic was having a special,

if you spend enough money they give you a free gift.

Well how much did you spend?

Just enough to get an umbrella,

and a little makeup case.

Okay and a tote bag, a shaving mug,

a pair of bedroom slippers,

a travel pillow and a Fabio calendar.

Gee, I can't believe your father was mad.

I know, I mean I did offer to give him the umbrella.

And what kind of thanks do I get?

He puts me on a budget.

Talk about cruel and unusual punishment.

It isn't so bad being on a budget,

most of the world does it.

Yes, and most of the world is tacky.

I can't believe I'm even talking to you.

You cannot possibly comprehend

the huge economic burden of being well dressed.

Cheryl, help me explain to her

the high cost of looking good.

Actually I don't spend much on clothes,

most days I shop in secondhand stores.

You don't mean, Deja Worn.

Uh-huh.

Oh, that's disgusting.

This dress is from the 's, and it only cost me $.

See, there are worse things than being poor.

Really, you could be poor and short.

Whoops.

How late is he?

A little over an hour.

Want me to rough him up?

Please say no.

Listen Liz, Todd's going through a tough time right now.

Getting cut from the team at Fairmont was a huge blow.

Basketball is his life.

That's the problem.

He's forgetting about his friends, school, and me.

I'm trying to understand what he's going through,

but he keeps pushing me away.

Well if it makes you feel any better

last week he blew me off

to sh**t baskets after basketball practice.

These days it's the only thing he wants to do.

Still shouldn't have stood me up.

I know.

I'll talk to him.

Well, I hope you have better luck than me.

Bye.

Hey you heading over to Wilkins' party tonight?

Oh yeah that's gonna be crazy tonight.

Excuse me.

Are you talking about Todd Wilkins?

Yeah.

You should really come by the party though

you know it's gonna be a real rager.

Same thing like last week's party.

Aww yeah.

What's your name?

Liz.

Liz, Todd's Liz?

Yeah, I guess.

I thought Liz was that redhead

Todd was with the other night.

Oops.

[laughing]

You were right.

Of course I was.

Right about what?

Me and Todd.

It's over, and I need to move on.

Besides we were getting too serious anyway.

Duh!

Jess, I think I'm ready to date.

There's the Wakefield spirit.

I know I'm gonna regret saying this,

but can you help me?

This is the moment I've been waiting for.

I've taken the liberty

of separating the boys at Sweet Valley High

into different categories of desirability.

Now, these guys are warm, sensitive, and have high GPAs.

Losers.

Feel free to pass them on to Enid.

Now, these guys have hot bodies, great cars, and cool hair.

That sounds good.

I think I'll keep these for myself.

You can have my rejects.

This pile contains boys that'll be perfect for you.

Good looking, dependable, nothing fancy,

but I think you'll be quiet pleased.

That sounds great Jess,

but I just want one date.

How are you supposed to sort through all these?

All we need is a system.

No, no, thank you.

Scott Trust, junior, , red corvette,

Thursday the th at seven thirty.

David Printest, , senior,

all-state running back years in a row,

Friday the th, eight o'clock.

Oh I've got a gorgeous five foot six blond.

No, no we're not giving away any free football phones.

Bizarre.

Hello Lance.

Darling do you still have that cute little black Porsche,

do you like sushi?

[bell ringing]

Winston, late for class?

Uh, hi, Mr. Frankle.

Winston can I have a word with you.

Sure, but I just want you to know that the red dye

in the drinking fountain thing was totally not my idea.

From the very beginning I said it was childish,

irresponsible, and basically just a really bad idea,

and it would not only make a fool out of you,

but it would make a fool out of the rest of them.

I just want to know how your friend Todd is doing.

Fine I guess. Why?

Because he hasn't been in my class for the past week

so I assumed he must be sick.

Yes he is, he is sick.

But you just said he was fine.

Well, fine considering.

I mean his fever is down to

and he's no longer delirious.

So, you know, considering where he was, he's fine.

In fact, full recovery is expected.

Uh huh.

Um, I'll tell him that you were asking about him.

As a matter of fact

I'm going over there later to bring him some soup.

Can I go now?

See you later.

Hey Jerry.

What's up?

Is Todd still in the gym?

Todd Wilkins?

I haven't seen him in weeks.

What are you talking about?

He never rejoined the team.

You're kidding, every time I wanna do something with him

he says he has basketball practice.

I don't know what his problem is,

but he really let us down.

So, how do you like my new eye shadow and mascara?

How did I know

you weren't going to be able to stick to your budget?

Oh, contraire.

I didn't spend any money.

I just went to the makeup counter at the mall

and used all the free testers.

Hey, free perfume.

I'm impressed.

Oh, and have you seen these things?

It's amazing, you just cut them out of the paper,

you take them down to the store,

and they actually lower the price for you.

It's like free money.

I believe it's called a coupon.

Cou. Coupon?

Coupon.

Oh, coupon.

Like in Grey Poupon.

Isn't that great.

Coupon.

Coo coo coo. Coupon.

Hey Carl.

Hey man, wanna go a little one-on-one?

Me?

Uh, no I don't think you'd want to.

It'd probably be more like one-on-zero.

Hey have you seen Todd?

Yeah he was just here a little while ago.

Too bad about that school in Vermont.

Yeah I know he's taking it pretty bad.

Any idea where he went?

Nah, he took off with some guys.

All right, thanks a lot.

No problem.

Hey Winston, I really hope you can find him.

Seems like he can use a friend right about now.

Catch you later.

C'mon man, c'mon!

C'mon lemme try it!

C'mon just let me do it!

C'mon baby, c'mon now.

Come one guys quit fooling around.

Chill out, Todd, you just make sure no one sees us.

It's cool, it's cool.

Ah, bingo!

All right.

Guys, guys let's split!

C'mon let's go!

Floor it!

Todd?

Todd!

Todd.

[whistling]

What are you doing?

I wanna wear this on my date.

Ugh, it's full of lint.

Really?

That's a good idea Liz, can I see it?

Sure.

Ohhh, this is nice.

Jess!

Now, let's get you ready for your date.

I love that sweater!

Oh cut it out, you've got like of those don't you?

But I feel...

Liz, forget about your old boring clothes.

Wake up.

Dating has changed drastically since the early s.

It's a whole new ballgame out there,

and frankly you're just not ready.

Thanks.

Lucky for you we're here to help.

We?

[clapping]

[rock music]

♪ What you are ♪

♪ And who you be ♪

♪ You come and forecast to me ♪

♪ Now what you choose ♪

♪ And what you do ♪

♪ Something's happening to you ♪

♪ Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's ♪

♪ She's a lady ♪

♪ Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's ♪

♪ She's such a girl ♪

♪ And sooo, and sooo, ♪

♪ And sooo, and sooo ♪

Is everything okay with you man?

I'm fine.

I gotta talk to you.

Look, I saw you at the school the other night.

So?

With the Camaro.

You better get your glasses checked Winston

because you didn't see anything.

I know what I saw.

Todd, you could go to jail.

I'm telling you, you didn't see anything.

Where are you going?

Scott's here.

I thought I'd go downstairs and go on a date with him.

You're serious?

If I wasn't here

you'd go downstairs right now, wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Liz, lemme tell you how this works.

You have to make the guy wait.

It's a fundamental fact of dating.

But I'm ready.

I've been ready for minutes.

All right, all right.

Go down there. Amateur.

So, I guess this is it.

I'm so nervous.

Don't worry, just remember what we talked about,

and you'll do fine.

You know the last time I was on a date, other than Todd,

I think we ended up burning ants with a magnifying glass.

Do boys still...

Not as much.

Ohh, my little sister's all grown up.

Jess, I was born four minutes before you.

[Latin music]

[Waitress] I'll take that when you're ready.

Oh, thank you.

I had a really good time tonight, Liz.

You wanna catch a movie next weekend?

-Okay. -Great.

Okay? Okay?

Liz we went over this.

Never ever accept a date immediately.

It makes you look like you have no life.

Play a little hard to get, come on!

Um, actually next weekend is no good.

I have to wash my dog.

The whole weekend?

Uh, he's a really big dog.

Are you ready to order?

Yes.

Liz, Liz, Liz.

First rule of dating, guys love it when you take charge.

Order his meal for him,

and stop slouching.

[Waitress] Have you decided?

We'll have the shrimp fajita for two.

Um actually I don't think...

No no, leave it to me.

Thanks.

Thanks a lot Liz, I was trying to tell you,

I'm allergic to seafood.

I love this place.

Have you eaten here before?

Um, no.

The food is great.

Thanks.

Aren't you gonna look at the menu?

No, I'll have the number three.

[Waitress] Great, I'll be back with your drinks.

So, my cousin got me tickets to the state playoffs.

A bunch of us are going.

You do like football don't you.

Uh...

Quick change the subject, maybe he won't notice.

Could you pass the guacamole.

Shut up, Enid.

Don't listen to her Liz, this guy's gorgeous.

Whatever he's into, you're into.

If he likes snakes, buy a python.

Tell him you like football.

You're both wrong,

it doesn't matter what Liz says about football.

I'm much more concerned with these earrings,

they do not go with this outfit.

-Get out of... -Listen to me Liz.

[shouting]

I can't take this anymore get out of here.

Check.

Let's see,

I got cents for recycled cans this morning,

for lunch we had free samples at the cheese shop,

and this lamp was an absolute steal at cents.

Yeah it's worth at least cents.

And we saved two dollars in gas

by walking miles to the flea market.

I only spent three dollars and cents today.

Why don't you check for loose change in my couch?

That reminds me, I already found cents earlier today,

and half a pack of gum, finders keepers.

What are you doing?

I'm just gonna take some of these for later.

Well, we better go to dinner now.

It's only three thirty.

We don't want to be late

for the early bird specials at Captain Al's.

They have an all you can eat shrimp fest for only $..

Lila, I can't take this anymore.

For the past week, we've been to every garage sale in town,

I've eaten three pounds of free cheese, and thanks to you

I'm the proud owner of gallons of mayonnaise.

Hey, they were selling for a very good price.

You, come with me.

[upbeat piano music]

Now!

Jessica, dinner's on me tonight.

I can't think you enough for breaking my bu- budget,

ewww I can barely even say it.

Well, I knew locking you in

the House of Chic would break you.

It only took a half an hour

before you were charging up a storm.

And my father was more than happy

to give me back my credit card,

especially after I pawned his heirloom cufflinks.

I'm just glad this ugly episode of your life is over.

And, I pledge on this six ounce bottle

of La Rouche-Posay ultra-hydrating

that I will never pay wholesale again!

[laughing]

It's terrible.

Unforgivable.

How could we let this happen?

[joyful laughing]

Look at them.

It's pathetic.

She's just being herself!

How fake.

Who is that guy anyway.

I don't know, I think he was from the loser pile.

You realize, she just messed up the whole system.

Ew, Winston, we can't eat this.

Ketchup coming right up.

Excuse me.

What's going on?

I'm really worried about Todd.

Look, Todd's a big boy.

He can take care of himself.

He's gotta get over this basketball thing.

No it's more than that Liz.

I saw him the other night at school, he's with some friends.

He's trying to steal a car.

My god.

He's really getting out of control.

I know.

Hang here and order me a drink all right.

Well, if it isn't the wicked witches

of the East and the West.

I should get out of here before a house falls on me.

Hey, can I get some fries over here?

Oh you want some fries huh?

I'll get your fries.

That's it Wilkins!

Ah isn't this cute.

Little miss perfect and her perfect date.

Gee Liz you sure rebound pretty quick.

Maybe you should try out for the basketball team.

Maybe you should quit Wilkins.

Todd can we speak outside for a second please.

Stay out of it Winston.

Give him a break, okay?

All right, Wilkins, we'll let it go this time

because we got a history together.

Get your act together man!

Let go of me.

Hey, I just saved your butt in there

although I'm not sure exactly why,

you're acting like a real jerk.

Get lost.

Look, you have to get over this, okay,

just get over it!

You were cut from the team in Vermont

-it doesn't mean... -Listen man!

You don't know the first thing about me so butt out!

I don't need you.

Hey, Todd, lose the geeks,

we got some serious partying to do.

Yeah let's go!

I don't need any of you.

[tires screeching]

[theme music plays]

♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You'll see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley, Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley ♪♪