02x16 - Sam Enchanted Evening

[bunniefuu]

[up-tempo music]

♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection ♪

♪ One always calls out to you ♪

♪ The other's shy and quiet ♪

♪ Could there be two different girls ♪

♪ Who look the same at ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

"Pool after school.

Sign up for The Moon Beach Pool Partners Tournament."

What's that small print say?

Don't sit on the stool, fool.

Be cool and rule,

play pool after school.

So, what do you think?

I think you should lay off the rap music.

Hmm.

[Jess laughs]

So tell us, Snoop Dorky-Dork,

when exactly is this partners pool tournament?

This Friday after school.

Elimination competitions are tomorrow,

and wait until you see what the grand prize is.

What is it, extra pickle chips?

Come on and see, come on.

Gotta see this.

[up-tempo music]

A free trip to the Bahamas over spring break.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Are you kidding, I'm already packing in my head!

I'm on the S's.

Shorts, sandals, sunscreen.

Well when you get to skill,

you might need to remember

you need some to win this tournament.

You're not exactly a pool shark.

Liz, weren't you listening?

It's a partners pool tournament,

and she'll have me.

Yeah, but don't worry,

we'll send you a postcard from Bermuda.

It's the Bahamas.

Wait, isn't that where

planes and stuff keep disappearing?

[Both] The Bahama Triangle!

That's Bermuda.

Bermuda, right.

Oh, where they make shorts.

I wouldn't go packing my bags if I were you two.

There's gonna be plenty of competition.

Since when has competition ever stood in my way.

We're off to Barbados!

If anyone wants to see the sign up sheet,

it's gonna be in the arcade.

[Lila] Wow, I hope they have a disco,

and maybe a Jacuzzi!

So, are you gonna sign up?

Not me, I only play for fun.

Shall we?

What, start practicing?

No, start shopping for cruise-wear!

Hey!

So, are we on for tonight?

I mean, did you talk to Enid?

Don't worry, it's all set.

All three of us are going to the movies at :,

except I'll go for Twizzlers

and conveniently never come back,

so it's just gonna be the two of you.

Perfect!

I've got four hours to think of what to say [gasps].

Do you really think we can b*at all these people?

Sure, as long as we do things the old-fashioned way.

[Both] Cheating.

The qualifying rounds are after school tomorrow,

we'll just make sure we're the only ones there to qualify.

[electric guitar twanging]

[Winston] Just give me a minute and we'll be out of here.

[Manny] So I hear this movie's great.

[Enid] Yeah, I love scary movies.

Here, let me help you or we'll never get out of here.

Yeah, we don't wanna miss the movie.

I know, why don't you guys

straighten up the other room?

Put away the pool cues and stuff.

I'll do it.

Manny, I'm sure it'll go

a lot faster if you work together.

On second thought,

why don't you guys finish up in here,

I'll take care of the other room.

[Manny] I'll come with ya.

Manny!

[dramatic orchestral music]

Whoa!

Look out!

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

[dramatic orchestral music]

Enid, say something to me!

Oh my gosh, she could have a concussion.

Or amnesia.

[Enid groans]

What happened?

How many fingers am I holding up?

Two.

What's the gestation period for an African elephant?

months.

[orchestral music]

What's your boyfriend's name?

Boyfriend?

Enid has a boyfriend?

Sure, you.

Boyfriend, but I'm not her--

Worthy, I know,

but we can't argue about that right now,

your girlfriend obviously has temporary amnesia

and you need to make sure she gets home okay.

How long have we been going out?

Forever.

But it still seems like brand new.

How sweet.

[up-tempo music]

Liz, what's up?

Jess is obsessed with winning this tournament.

I can't take it any more.

I don't get why you're so worked up,

I mean Lila can't even hold a cue stick!

You're not the one who had to listen

to calypso music all night.

You know those two.

They'll do anything to win.

Come on, what are they gonna do,

kidnap all the contestants?

[piano music]

But I don't play pool,

I'm president of the math club!

Excuse me?

We're not stupid.

Yeah, what's that?

It's pool strategy. These guys know all the angles.

It's a math thing.

Ew.

Spread the word among your people,

we know where your locker is.

That takes care of these guys.

Let's move on to the jocks.

[trombone music]

Manny, I could really go for a mango salad right now.

Could you pick up a dozen mangoes?

[Manny] I can't, they're out of season.

[Enid] Don't you care about me any more?

-I-- -Enid.

What's going on?

I have amnesia.

You're kidding.

You can't remember anything?

Actually it's the weirdest thing,

the only thing I don't remember

is that Manny's my boyfriend.

Oh, and I forgot to do my homework, too.

Maybe Manny can do it for you.

I mean if he's any kind of boyfriend.

That's a great idea!

You know, I'm having trouble remembering algebra too

and maybe you could take a look at my history assignment.

Don't I have the best boyfriend?

Rob Coleson.

Waiting for a mysterious blind date at The Velvet Iguana.

Hope he brought a good book.

Sharon Perkins.

Tragic press-on nail accident.

We won't be seeing her in public.

At least not holding a pool cue.

Well, I think that's everybody.

Operation elimination is a success.

Operation elimination?

They have the sign up sheet

with a whole bunch of names crossed off.

Okay, so the answer to, "What are they

gonna do, kidnap all the contestants," is yes.

Imagine the world problems we could solve

if we could just harness the energy

those two spent on scheming.

[Winston] Last chance to qualify

for the pool tournament.

I don't see any challengers, so--

I guess we win by default.

Tick, tick, tick, tickets please.

Not so fast Bahama mamas.

You got some competition.

[Jess] What are they doing here?

[Lila] They weren't on the list!

Todd and Liz were late additions to the sign up sheet.

Hmm, well, I guess there's no need to eliminate anybody so,

you all qualify automatically.

[sighs] Let's see.

Will Todd and I b*at Jessica and Lila in the tournament?

You may depend on it.

So, Jessica and Lila have to spend

spring break in the mall.

"Definitely yes."

Hmm, will Liz ever shut up?

"Don't count on it."

Look, I'm gonna win no matter what.

What are you gonna do, Jess,

knock off Todd or me?

No, I have my ways.

Believe me.

[ominous piano music]

What ways?

I'll think of something.

Things are getting mighty tense around here.

You better take this down.

Vinchenzo, why?

Trust me, I wouldn't want either team calling him.

I mean, he always wins, but put it this way,

there's dirty pool and then there's Vinchenzo pool.

[Winston] Wow.

You'd have to sink really low to call that sleaze bag.

[ominous piano music]

Hello, Vinchenzo?

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

I mean, pool shark sounds kinda scary.

Maybe we should of started off with pool guppy

and then worked our way up.

This is exactly what we need.

Someone who will intimidate,

terrify and demolish our competition.

Is it me or is it like % humidity outside?

[accordion music]

[Both Girls] Vinchenzo?

That's my name, pool's my game.

Rack 'em up.

So, we've got the sticks

and you've got the,

you know the know how.

So, what exactly are the rules?

Okay, you got your stripes and your solids.

Okay, well I'm wearing solids

and Jessica's wearing stripes.

And you don't wanna hit the -ball in.

Oh, simple.

I'll break.

Okay, watch me.

Do what I do, say what I say.

Do what I do.

Say what I say.

The key to pool is a steady stick,

you gotta keep your stick steady, see?

Steady stick, got it.

This hand don't move,

it's your bridge.

Don't budge your bridge.

Don't budge your bridge, keep your stick steady, right!

Now the cue ball,

don't whack it, tap it.

Tap it, don't whack it.

Tap don't whack, steady on the stick,

don't budge your bridge.

You got it!

[drumroll]

[Student] Oh!

Oi.

Sorry!

You whacked.

I whacked?

Yeah, and you scratched!

I didn't even itch!

[Vinchenzo groaning]

[gasps] Sorry, sorry!

[Vinchenzo chuckling]

[string music]

[Jess] Oops!

Okay, I think it's time to take a different strategy.

We need to focus on your competition.

He's right over there.

[Vinchenzo] Ooh, looks like trouble.

So, what are we gonna do?

There's only one choice.

[dramatic music]

Eliminate the competition.

Ooh, we like the sound of that!

[Vinchenzo chuckling]

Winston! You gotta hide me!

Hide me from Enid.

She keeps remembering all the things

I'm supposed to do for her.

What?

I've become her personal sl*ve.

You lucky dog!

So, have you kissed her yet?

No, maybe if I fix her bike,

do her laundry,

take her Aunt Zelda to the bingo tournament.

Oh, there you are!

Oh, hi, Winston.

Hi.

Nice shirt!

You know Winston,

it's too bad I'm dating Manny

because I am really attracted to you.

You are?

I mean, um, excuse me just for a minute please.

You know, okay.

I can take her off your hands for just a little while.

No way!

She's my girlfriend.

No she's not, it's just 'cause she has amnesia.

We made it up!

Ahem, what was that?

Okay, let me explain.

Yeah, let him explain.

You see--

No, no, no, wait. I'll explain.

Look, we... this is--

You didn't really have amnesia.

I didn't?

You mean, not even temporary?

So I'm not your girlfriend.

You never were.

[Winston] But hey, that means you're free to date me.

Oh, I would but--

[Winston] But what?

Well it's just that I could never date a guy

that thought I was so stupid

to fall for something like temporary amnesia.

And you.

I can't believe you went along with him!

Too bad, too, you made a pretty good boyfriend.

Temporarily.

Great going, Gomer.

Now I've ruined my chances forever.

So, is everything set for today?

You can bet your cannoli on it.

So let me get this straight,

when you say you're gonna take care of him,

you're not gonna take care of him take care of him.

Why? 'Cause I can take care of him!

You want me to take care of him?

[Both] No, no!

Just, you know, take care of him.

I'm gonna take him for a ride.

Just take care of him!

I'm gonna take him for a ride.

Do you mean take him for a ride?

Or take him for a ride?

Just the ride, the ride, ride.

Look, I told you the plan.

Trust me.

Capisce?

[Both] Capache?

Look, here comes Todd.

Watch, I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.

Oh, this is so exciting.

I can't wait to see the master in action.

He reminds me of Marlon Brando in The Grandfather.

'Scuse me.

-You Todd? -Yeah.

I'm Vinny.

I saw you in the pool room.

Never saw such a natural talent.

Thanks.

Hey, hey.

I'm kinda like a pool talent scout.

He is so smooth.

I know you're pretty busy,

but if you could spare about a half hour,

maybe we could go someplace and talk.

-Well, I don't think-- -I'll buy you a pizza.

Okay.

[Vinchenzo] You could be a contender.

Pizza! Brilliant.

And Todd is buying it!

No, no, Vinny's gonna buy it.

Not the pizza, the story.

Vinny's some operator.

I bet they're halfway to Oregon

before Todd even remembers the tournament.

[Jess] We're off to Jamaica.

[Winston] It's the Bahamas.

[Liz] Where's Todd?

Oh, Liz.

I guess you'll have to forfeit.

Sorry about Todd.

What about Todd?

Nothing, nothing.

I'll be thinking about you in Honolulu.

Yeah, we'll say hi to Magnum Pi.

It's not Hawaii, it's Barbados.

I thought you said it was the Bahamas.

I can't take this, I can't believe this.

Where is Todd?

All these people came here to see pool.

[Liz] Winston, he'll be here.

Well, I guess we could give a little demonstration.

Stand back everybody.

Let me show you some tricks I picked up.

Oops!

[audience gasping]

Good trick!

[Manny] Winston, Winston!

Winston, Winston, are you okay?

[Student] Check his pulse, is he breathing?

[Enid] Help him up.

[Manny] Winston?

Yeah, yeah.

But who are you?

Who am I?

You're my boyfriend.

I am?

Yeah, and you were just on your way

over to my house to wait for the cable guy.

And after that my uncle Ned needs a sponge bath.

And then you have--

Do you think he'll remember to give us our tickets?

You're gonna have to win first,

you still have to b*at me and my partner.

But he couldn't,

I mean he's with--

[Todd] Vinchenzo?

Cheryl, sweetheart!

[Cheryl] You're the best.

[Jess And Lila] Huh?

Guys, I'd like you to meet my hairdresser Vinchenzo.

You've got to come in and see me.

It's been months.

What? Vinny's your hairdresser?

The name's Vinchenzo,

and I prefer follicular artiste.

But we thought you were--

We knew Todd was next in your

little game of operation elimination.

Yeah, so we hired Vinchenzo here as bait

and much like dumb fish you guys fell for it.

[Todd and Liz laugh]

What happened to, "I don't care about pool,

I don't care about competition?

I care about my friends,

and, hey, it was worth it just to see the look on your faces.

[Cheryl and Vinchenzo laugh]

So Jess, you ready to eat chalk?

[up-tempo music]

[audience clapping]

[Todd] -ball corner pocket.

[up-tempo music]

[audience cheering]

It's over? No fair!

Yeah, we didn't even get to budge the bridge!

Don't worry, we'll write to you from the Bahamas.

Bye!

Come in for a free cellophane, girls.

Your pool playing is hopeless.

But those split ends I can take care of.

Capisce?

[accordion music]

[up-tempo music]

♪ Look right down any crowded hall ♪

♪ You see there's a beauty standing ♪

♪ Is she really everywhere ♪

♪ Or a reflection ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Sweet Valley ♪

♪ Sweet Valley High ♪

♪ Meet you at Sweet Valley High ♪♪